Complex, multilayered emotion aka bitterness
The M3 Original Documentary Crack Baby is the incredible story of the true survival of a woman named Nyree D. Watkins, who was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. Imagine having every odd stacked up against you before you were even born and yet still found a way out of all of the bad, all of the negativity, and all of the heartache. Growing up she attended 12 different schools during her childhood and moved around to several family members' homes. No matter how unstable & tough life got for her, she always found the strength to persevere. Nyree is a single mother of four little girls and after serving in the military, she decided to serve her children and her purpose. Nyree moved to Georgia to create a stable, happy life for herself and her children. Nyree has found purpose in sharing her story so others won't feel alone in their story. Connect with Nyree: https://www.meetnyree.com/ FROM TODAY'S EPISODE: Finding HOPE and rewriting your story Finding God and building your spiritual journey Navigating through resentment and pain so we can heal Taking action EVEN WHEN you are scared CONNECT WITH US! SIGN UP FOR FIDGET FRIDAY: https://www.heatherparady.com/fidgetfriday INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/heatherparady/ FACEBOOK GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/645500432309046 YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/heatherparady TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@heatherparady? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/unconventionalleaders/message
At its core, conflict avoidance is people pleasing due to a deeply ingrained fear of hurting or upsetting other people if you express your true feelings. This type of codependency leads to feelings of resentment and loneliness and ultimately hurts you and your relationships. Whether you've got a partner who's conflict avoidant or you're dealing with your own conflict avoidance, today's episode is for you! Stay tuned while I walk you through my best tips for dealing with conflict avoidance whether that's you or someone else. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-is-conflict-avoidant-plus-dealing-with-your-own-conflict-avoidance/ Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-is-conflict-avoidant-plus-dealing-with-your-own-conflict-avoidance/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/what-to-do-if-your-partner-is-conflict-avoidant-dealing-with-your-own-conflict-avoidance/ _______________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won't believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/ For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/ Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving
00:00.00 Max Shank Welcome back to the Monday morning podcast with max and mike today we are going to talk about relationships because I don't know mike I've noticed that most people ruin their lives with just 1 or 2 bad relationships or maybe it becomes a pattern but. I think 1 of the biggest traps is to fall into the common way that people relate with each other especially with romantic relationships I'm sure you have some experience and have seen that as well. 00:30.70 mikebledsoe Yeah I think most people have we go back to their first relationship. They had their first girlfriend or first boyfriend. Whatever it is and probably for most people every person they've dated since that person has just been a new iteration of the same thing. They they'd likely relate to them the same way. They they find a lot of things that are in common in the beginning. It's really easy to overlook the the all the bad things. All the things that that may have gone south in your previous relationship because well you're. 01:02.63 Max Shank To name. 01:08.48 mikebledsoe You're on drugs when you're in love I'd say the first six months and. 01:10.20 Max Shank No doubt so you think the first relationship sets the tone for all the rest of them. 01:15.13 mikebledsoe I Think you I think your relationship with your father sets a tone for all your romantic relationships because when you're when you're born. 01:24.32 Max Shank That explains why I go for beefy guys with big mustache. I was wondering what that was. 01:32.20 mikebledsoe Ah, well this this is the framework I've been operating from over the last few years when when looking at relationships and that is when you're born you are. Ah yeah, it's your first love the so your mother. 01:43.53 Max Shank I remember you telling me this you said your father is your first friend first relationship outside yourself. 01:51.85 mikebledsoe When you yeah when you're born and you come out of your mother's womb you you were inside of her and then you should at least go to the breast pretty early after after being born and you really associate with your mother. So your mother really. Teaches you how to have a relationship with yourself and then your father is the first person outside of yourself that you have a relationship with so whether you're a man or a woman. He really sets the stage for ah how you relate to people and not necessarily just romantic relationships. Um, and ah I've also heard paul check talk about this which is you're usually ah attracted to a woman who has a similar body type to your mother. So if your mother had big breasts you probably are attracted to big breasts and so on and so forth I don't think that's always true but I imagine it's a fair. Fair assumption. So. 02:48.95 Max Shank So so basically what you're saying is that the relationship you have with your dad and the physical appearance of your mom guides a lot of your selections in choosing a mate. 03:04.82 mikebledsoe Yeah I would say people yeah people who haven't done a lot of work are more likely to just fall into those patterns. That's so I'm not saying this is an absolute. It's comfortable. It's safe. 03:07.24 Max Shank From a very young age. 03:14.00 Max Shank It feels comfortable. It probably that that makes sense it would feel what would feel more comfortable than someone who acts like your dad and looks like your mom. But. 03:25.82 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah. Um, yeah, yeah, well well people people hate change right? And so well what they do is your parents really teach you how to relate to other people. They they teach you? How love looks you know people who grew up in a home where the parents are fighting all the time. Maybe there's physical abuse. 03:30.77 Max Shank I mean I guess it's familiar of god. 03:50.35 mikebledsoe And then they get an abuse of relationships. It's like well they don't They aren't experiencing love unless that experience is happening. Um and what's that. 03:56.73 Max Shank I Think that takes us to the next phase really well which is how your parents romantic relationship looks to you because you're going to. You're going to probably copy that to a certain extent or you're at least going to say oh that's normal. 04:08.41 mikebledsoe That's true. 04:15.87 Max Shank So whether your parents are very cold and standoffish and not very affectionate toward each other or whether you live with a single dad who's just a casanova taking home a different lady every other Night. You're probably going to just mimic. That instinctually I guess or naturally you're going to mimic those behaviors. 04:36.83 mikebledsoe Yeah, and it's really interesting because a lot of people don't think that they are but they're out they the people on the outside looking in are going. Oh that's totally what you're doing but because it is so normal to people they don't They don't even see it. Ah yeah, it's ah. 04:55.62 Max Shank Well you see ah some couples like look almost like carbon copies of each other too. You see a guy in a gal who look almost the same they look like they could be brother and sister. They're not in the cases that I'm talking I mean I know that happens sometimes but. 04:55.64 mikebledsoe It's fascinating stuff. 05:03.48 mikebledsoe Yet. 05:12.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ah, there's a name for that that I've seen a chart somewhere. It says like the different types of coupling that can occur and. 05:14.38 Max Shank And the cases I'm talking about they just find someone who looks like them. 05:26.85 Max Shank Man. 05:29.39 mikebledsoe A lot of times if that type of coupling is occurring then you know there's likely ah a repetition of patterns. There's likely like gonna you're gonna feel really good about the relationship in the beginning but over time you may find dissatisfaction and I say may a lot here because I I don't. 05:42.63 Max Shank Anyone. 05:46.87 mikebledsoe There's no absolutes with all of this and ah 1 thing I Want to point out too is we're talking about what people learn from their parents which is different than what your parents taught you So what? a teacher intends for you to learn and what you receive it. These are different Things. So I like to keep that clear too because max said you said something that really stands out which is how you perceived your parents' relationship as how you're gonna be behave So as an adult what can happen a lot of times is. We intellectually look at our parents relationship or we look at the past and go oh that was not a big deal or I you know you can reason it away you can create reasons for and against why things were a certain way. But if you dig down deep enough which I've I've done a lot of that type of work where we deep dig. Deep down into what happened emotionally at a young age and people end up what we end up discovering is oh I learned this thing and I as I got older I intellectualized it away but it. But even though I intellectually intellectualized it away. 06:51.96 Max Shank And. 06:59.65 mikebledsoe It was still a pattern that was dominating my life. So I like to just bring that to people's awareness. Yeah, a lot of subconscious behavior. 07:01.52 Max Shank Um, subconsciously subconsciously I think it's really important to distinguish between instinct and intellect. That's 1 of the main things I like to communicate with people is that you have these instincts that have. Basically nothing to do with your Upbringing. You're going to have an instinctual desire If. You're a man toward a female most of the time and so you're going to find a lot of ladies sexually desirable and your intellect is. Able to override your instinct but not all the time right? So you have things that are instinctual. 07:41.73 mikebledsoe Well it depends on if you're It's probably how stressed how stressed you are in that moment or how much fear you're experiencing dictates the instinct versus intellect. 07:51.28 Max Shank So it's like the pause between Impulse and action I guess because some things are instinctual and then some things are ingrained like I think beating your spouse is not an instinct but I'm I'm guessing. But if you. 07:55.20 mikebledsoe Um. 08:03.39 mikebledsoe No. 08:09.39 mikebledsoe I. 08:09.86 Max Shank If you see your if you see your parents beating each other then that's going to be ingrained into you right? So you have the the pure instincts which is sexual attraction and ah probably ah, there's a sense of family there as well. Maybe. 08:16.29 mikebledsoe Right? right. 08:26.57 mikebledsoe Just me. 08:29.12 Max Shank More nurturing on the side of females generally and then you have behaviors and patterns that are ingrained where you have these roles that each participant in a relationship plays and you're going to.. It's like you were saying you know you don't. Necessarily do what your parents tell you you don't do what your teachers tell you you just either copy them or you try to do the opposite mostly right, right? What what you see. 08:53.77 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, it's what you learn from them. Not what they try to teach you? Yeah all right? So we covered super early development in regard to relationships which is a good foundation. 09:05.20 Max Shank I Think it's good. We have we have like a right? So then we move on into relationships should we go to relationships because that's probably I think we don't need to go into like. 09:17.88 mikebledsoe I want to let everyone know we're we're ten minutes in his show while them know we're gonna talk about how to pick up chicks at some point in this just ah so people keep paying attention. 09:24.91 Max Shank Oh yeah, so here's what you do you? Ah you spend like 10 years getting into really good shape and getting really rich and then the rest of it doesn't matter or or another option. 09:39.71 mikebledsoe Ah. 09:43.41 Max Shank You can just ah, go up and and talk to girls that you're interested in and actually be interested in them. 09:50.20 mikebledsoe Yeah, that's the key. Well I think most guys I'm gonna talk about guys because I think we're more of an expert on men than we are women. 09:57.87 Max Shank Are we gonna talk about are we gonna talk about the pedestal today. We we we got to talk about the pedestal today I can tell I you and I are on the same like wavelength I've been there I've done it too. 10:02.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, we can talk about the pedestal. We got to talk about the pedestal. Actually I what I was about to say kind of leads into that. Yeah. 10:17.84 Max Shank I've put ladies up on this high pedestal. Not healthy, not healthy to do that. 10:18.43 mikebledsoe Yeah, well now I forgot what I was gonna say so yeah, well when we get in our our first relationships ah man women are just so ah I would say a lot of. What got me in my first relationships is me me trying to. 10:38.16 Max Shank Like holding the pause button women are so oh God What's even do. 10:47.43 mikebledsoe Um, so like when I when I first started why it totally didn't know it at the time but I looked back at my childhood and and the girls and it was it was all about you know. Making myself feel loved like I wanted to feel loved. So I you know would go after I like need to go after the prettiest girl I wanted to go after the same girl that everybody else was going after. Um, there was yeah yeah, then everyone would worship me which is not completely inaccurate. 11:17.60 Max Shank Then we would all like you. 11:25.32 mikebledsoe I Mean if you date if you're with someone that a lot of people want to be with that does raise your status I've witnessed this I've I've had that experience. 11:30.10 Max Shank You get a lot of fifth bumps from strangers. Um, you like my man get look at hit him. 11:39.95 mikebledsoe Actually I was like I had that experience forty 8 hours ago or you know 36 hours Saturday night I was out. Yeah, my my girlfriend gets up from the table. He gives me a fist bump like yeah and. 11:49.20 Max Shank Right? You automatically get street cred and why is that it's because women are Judgmental. That's I think that's the word you are looking for is women are very Judgmental now before before I'm crucified. Let me qualify that with that's just. 11:59.81 mikebledsoe I. 12:08.42 Max Shank The way of animals generally Speaking. We do a little dance show you our pretty feathers and we're like hey look at this nest I Made what do you think and you're like they're taking notes like okay, he's got a 8 out of 10 on nest building. Nice flowers. Nice feathers I like your bird song. Okay I'll accept your your dna we can name so that's but that's the same word. That's the same thing but but. 12:31.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, it well they have ah they have discernment. For instance, my my girlfriend she is yeah similar I think Judgment judgment carries. Ah to me that if we're getting in the semantics as we do. Ah ah. 12:46.57 Max Shank We have to. 12:50.19 mikebledsoe Judgment comes with it a making wrong a it. It becomes so um, a moral a moral issue whereas something may not be good enough for this specific thing but it doesn't make you a bad person for instance like I'm not in ah I'm not in ah to blonde women. It's not. 12:53.53 Max Shank Um, yeah, pass or Fail. Um. Um, so I feel like yeah. 13:09.86 mikebledsoe Because blonde women are are bad. It's just because it's not my I discern against that for what that's a poor example I should probably pick something that's more of like a behavior trait and a look but women are discerning Well I say that I say that because my girlfriend is way more discerning than I am. 13:14.14 Max Shank Right? I think I think discern. Yeah I think discernment is a good word. They discriminate. Women are way more discerning than men are generally speaking I don't think that I'm telling any tales out of school with that comment I think most of the things totally but wouldn't you say that most of the crazy things that guys do are. 13:28.50 mikebledsoe And social situations. 13:33.17 mikebledsoe Well this is this is where being being with a woman and listening to her is a superpower keeps me out of lot of trouble. 13:45.13 Max Shank Mostly to attract women I mean nobody yeah no, that's what I'm saying nobody's this is like the core of the thing for all the fell is listening I mean the whole reason. Ah, you try to get 6 pack abs is because you want some lady to go oh look at him I like that whole reason you buy. 13:45.96 mikebledsoe Almost everything. 14:04.89 Max Shank A crazy fancy car is to you know, convince or Persuade or appear to a potential mate as if you are, you're qualified. You meet the parameters for like yeah I'll get with that guy. Otherwise why would you be getting fist bumps. And it's weird because guys are usually valued on what they can provide and girls are usually valued on what they are. 14:32.52 mikebledsoe I like to look at it as men are are valued for ah hold value for success and women hold value for Beauty is is what I've typically noticed which is similar to what you're saying. But. 14:49.44 Max Shank Yeah. 14:52.42 mikebledsoe But I think those are the primary things that people are like men are judging women on Beauty and that's why you see so many old rich dudes with with young hot girls. It doesn't go the other way around. Yeah yeah, so it's um, you know for young men out there. 14:55.60 Max Shank Here. 15:01.81 Max Shank It's because it's because wealth compounds and Beauty deteriorates. 15:11.63 mikebledsoe It might be a little rough. Um, but I don't think it has to I Just think it it tends to be. 15:13.78 Max Shank I I don't think so I think if you have I think it's probably the best time to just be a little bit courageous because I would say that by and large men are becoming very weak very fragile. Emotionally. And if you're just willing to have the courage to ask for what you want and ask ladies out and be that male masculine Archetype it. It'll be like shooting fish in a barrel I think. 15:47.54 mikebledsoe It it really is when I was living in San diego um I was living in a part of town where it was a very like just had a feminine essence. You actually you live there so you know, um, but I'm taught. Yeah. 16:00.51 Max Shank I Do I live in a very feminine place. 16:05.61 mikebledsoe It's ah ensonnitos california very feminine. It's very laid back easy going a lot of the men there I think max max and I were probably 2 of the 2 out of maybe five masculine men in the whole town which does which. I wonder how many guys in Nsonitas are listening to this show which does make it feel like shooting fish in a barrel because I know I know for you I I imagine it's fairly easy to find good looking women and I know I definitely had that experience when I lived there. Um, and it was easier there than say awesome texas where there's a lot of there's a lot more bravado here. There's more masculinity here. So if you're going to out masculine another dude like you know you better have 5 million in your bank account in a and a fast car. Yeah. 16:57.78 Max Shank Just got back from a bull riding competition. You got a 10 pound belt buckle that sort of thing. 17:03.67 mikebledsoe Yeah, you need guns and trucks and land. These are the things and big houses. But ah yeah, it's different. So like if you just have if you just and and embody that masculine energy like you're saying. 17:09.60 Max Shank Right? It's totally different thing I think that. 17:21.51 mikebledsoe Most of society has gotten soft and so if you're able if you're if you're a stronger not just physically stronger. But you're emotionally strong Mentally, you're developed. You're if you're developed in these ways in a in a masculine way. Yeah, women will come flocking. It'll be hard to keep them away. 17:41.38 Max Shank Um, well and I think the the biggest thing in my opinion is ah approaching it from an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset like if you ask a lady out and she says no and you get emotionally crushed to the point that you don't ask any more ladies out. That's not good if you get into any relationship at all just because you're afraid you won't be able to find anyone else who likes you. That's not going to work at all That's going to be a scarcity mindset too and I think the same thing happens with guys. Staying in relationships is because they are living in a scarcity mindset where they're like oh I'll I'll never find anyone else and so you have to become resilient to the word. No. Because it's not just about getting every lady to say Yes, it's about having your request be like a filter so you find someone who resonates with you and I'm talking more about like who you actually want to spend time with than just sex I don't think. I Don't think it's too valuable for for us to just like teach people how to like hook up with random people at the bar I think that's simple and straightforward enough. 19:03.51 mikebledsoe Yeah, and with all the apps out there now I think it's pretty easy and if you can write some good copy on your tinder account I think you'll be just fine. Yeah. 19:11.58 Max Shank Right? Just buy a puppy and be rich and you're be fine. 19:19.63 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah, so being in a satisfying relationship. That's interesting. 1 thing I want to cover that I'd like to address here is ah and if there's any ladies left by this point that this would be. They're gonna love hearing it but the way I the way I look at it is women pretty much. 19:32.87 Max Shank They're gone. 19:38.47 mikebledsoe Drive We We already said this drive all male behavior like women are in charge when women start complaining that that men are in charge home going. You lost you don't you don't see what's going on here men make money because. Want to attract women all these things but I think it comes From. It's an evolutionary thing where you know it used to be the biggest strongest guy was the 1 who got the woman and it was the you know got to where it they you started being judged on your intellect and I think that. 20:03.98 Max Shank Um, a. 20:15.19 mikebledsoe That's there's a big argument for that's what's driven the evolution of consciousness is the more you can develop your intellect as a man the more more valuable you'll become and the more status you'll have So it's I think so I think so but but. 20:26.94 Max Shank Um, is it because you can provide more though I think so too. 20:34.27 mikebledsoe And which way can you provide big strong can kill shit protect or do the same exact thing because you're you're loaded with a bunch of money and and you know how to use it. 20:43.26 Max Shank Way more. The latter nowadays you know like your your martial arts capacity is like the last thing on most ladies minds number 1 20:48.26 mikebledsoe Nowadays. Yeah, that's where we got. 20:59.31 Max Shank A guy with 20 years of martial arts experience will lose to a guy with 1 day of firearms experience. So there's almost no point in being big and strong from a self-defense standpoint whatsoever and the likelihood of any physical violence is so low you can create way more. Force and power you have more power just being able to write a check and being able to use language. Well. 21:22.75 mikebledsoe Yeah, people want to get along people deep down they they avoid conflict most so I I don't mind conflict I I find it fun. It's like a little bit of. 21:38.47 Max Shank I disagree on you're wrong. 21:41.52 mikebledsoe I fuck with it a bit and I noticed I noticed that a lot of people there. A lot of people are not that way. Ah y'all start I'll step into a conflict and people fold really quick. Um, and I'd I'd say I run into ten percent of people out there. Okay, with conflict other people. 21:53.49 Max Shank The. 22:01.39 mikebledsoe They they just want to avoid it at all costs I think I think you're right like it's it's safety in 2021 physical safety. It's pretty. You know, not saying that violence can't happen but have a gun there. You go no. 22:13.14 Max Shank Yeah, it's rare. Yeah, you don't need to be like super buff. Most ladies don't care because that has changed right? The aesthetic over time for women has changed the desirability of men has totally changed. 22:29.29 mikebledsoe Yeah, they like skinny guys now like being skinny is in which was when I was a kid that was the last thing you wanted to be. Yeah. 22:38.14 Max Shank Not no, you were so it was called Scrawny back Then. And and ladies I mean it used to be. They were supposed to be plump like Victorian Era type of thing and then we had some stuff happen a little thicker well and then it. 22:52.92 mikebledsoe Ah, well up until Marilyn Monroe Marilyn Monroe was she's a thick woman and then. 23:05.25 Max Shank Swung back around to like the supermodel phase of the Ninety s where you have 6 with tall women who weigh 1 hundred pounds and you're like oh my god like it looks like skeletor right? and then now I think it's kind of circled back around to the thick ladies. 23:13.69 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 23:20.56 mikebledsoe Yeah I'm loving that I yeah I need a little I don't like him too skinny I tried I tried the 2 skinny ones didn't wasn't as pleasurable. Be honest, got to try it all out. Yeah yeah. 23:33.22 Max Shank You got to find out what you like you got to find out what you like that's it. Um, it does sort of circle us back to if you're ready to talk about how to choose the right person I mean we can. 23:40.36 mikebledsoe Take a 1 more little meat on her bones. You know. 23:48.20 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, we should? Yeah, we we just. 23:52.64 Max Shank We could just talk about what ah physical traits we like in ladies but just watch all the female listeners just slowly go away if you're a lady and you made it past me saying women are judgmental then I so. 23:57.74 mikebledsoe Ah, all right, all right? Ah I'll let you. 24:11.92 Max Shank really support that thank you that's really nice ah yeah thank you for the support. Ah so it comes back to that scarcity idea. It's possible to just date 1 lady and have her be the 1 and. 24:13.10 mikebledsoe Thank you for the support ladies. Yeah. 24:31.12 Max Shank Get married and have a family would you say that's a little bit risky. 24:36.41 mikebledsoe Boy it doesn't sound like you're diversifying your portfolio seems like an all eggs in 1 basket. 24:40.48 Max Shank well well I mean all your eggs in 1 basket is more like the argument for being polyamorous I just mean like sampling sampling different personality types. 24:54.97 mikebledsoe Ah, ah before you before you go into a marriage. 24:59.85 Max Shank Yeah, because I think having ah a relationship can be 1 of the best things ever or possibly the worst thing ever. That's why I think it's such a good topic because there's that saying behind every ah. 25:09.64 mikebledsoe Well. 25:16.37 Max Shank Great man is a strong woman I'm guessing a woman came up with that quote had to have been right? but but also behind every like broken suicidal man is 1 or many women who made his life miserable now it's probably his own fault. But I'm saying is. 25:30.31 mikebledsoe Yeah. 25:35.78 Max Shank Both ways. Male female. A relationship can be like a crazy boost that defies the laws of physics or it can be ah like a poison that you take every day. 25:50.68 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, totally agree. 25:52.60 Max Shank I mean I've seen it I've seen it both ways and how can you choose? Well if you don't interact with multiple types of person. 26:04.80 mikebledsoe Well this is this is a really big challenge because I don't think people really appreciate how long we as human beings have been choosing our marriage partners. It's like 100 years old I think prior. The further back you go the more arranged marriages you're going to see and americans I think have probably been on the cutting edge of choosing your your mate ah to the rest of the world. Ah, and ah the wealthy. You know I think kept it around longer than the poor I think the poor were more into choosing than the wealthy the wealthy were you know is all part about it was playing a role in joining together families. And yeah, political and financial. So so this idea of you choosing a mate. 26:51.95 Max Shank It's poor political. 27:01.43 mikebledsoe Is is very very interesting because it's it's new it choosing your mate is new and then not only that the amount of choices I went on bumble and it's it's overwhelming I mean I I would sit there and I could swipe through. Ah, hundred women in five minutes and you know rewind a hundred years or further back ago and that might have been how many women you've ever met in the first twenty years of your life. You know you may have met your. 27:33.60 Max Shank That there are times where you wouldn't meet a hundred women who weren't your family members. 27:39.00 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, and so like this idea that we now get to choose a mate and previously it was like you know what you get the the cards you were dealt. It's kind of like your looks right? It's like oh your face looks like that you're stuck with that rest of your life. Think that's how ah marriage was probably seen back then is yeah, you're just going to marry this person or you know you get out of these 3 women. You're probably going to you know, end up with 1 of them might as well start courting and so I only bring that up because. You know if we look at the generations if I look at all right? My dad definitely picked my mom and they met from different sides of the country. Um, they came together in 1 spot but were were nowhere near each other they they had a lot of options but then I look at my my dad's dad grew up in a town of four hundred. my dad grew up in a town of four Hundred he's like fortunate like he was on that cusp of he left his hometown in his late teens for adventure and found my mom now my grandfather was a town of. 28:48.69 Max Shank I. 28:54.18 mikebledsoe 400 and married a woman from that talent at 400 right so he probably his the amount of choices he had was probably you know a dozen you know. 28:55.18 Max Shank Ah. 29:05.72 Max Shank It's probably a lot more clearly defined gender roles within a marriage at that time too though. 29:09.96 mikebledsoe That as well and if you look back at his father who the fuck knows like they they had such so I only I bring all that up to to create this context and give ourselves a little bit of grace for. If we're if we seem like we're not not max and I I mean we can give us grace too but give yourself grace if you're fumbling around in relationships a bit because most of the things that are happening in relationship are new choosing a mate for yourself. That's new without having parents heavily. Ah. 29:49.53 mikebledsoe Influencing it. So yeah I just bring that up because give ourselves some grace and we're all learning and I think it's a skill that you're gonna have to get even better at in the future because choice is only going up. 30:01.35 Max Shank Well I think that is a really good point that you are always learning and so people change within the course of a relationship and that relates to what we're talking about with arranged marriages like right now. I'm pretty sure you could fact check me on this I'm pretty sure that right now it's still common plaque common practice in some parts of india to marry off your 12 year old daughter to a 30 year old dub. 30:30.61 mikebledsoe Yeah, was it up? Well yeah I think so well I saw a news story Yesterday a girl in Afghanistan was a 12 year old girl was sold for two thousand dollars in afghanistan and you know it's probably propaganda from cnn basically. Trying to make the taliban look like a bunch of dicks which they probably are a bunch of dicks. But um, anyways I don't think that's specific to the taliban I think there's just a bunch of dudes out there a bunch of dicks. But ah. 30:49.93 Max Shank That seems really cheap. 31:01.26 Max Shank Well I think that's ah sort of what we're talking about you know? ah a lady has that intrinsic value. You couldn't sell like a boy for that price. Probably. 31:17.43 mikebledsoe Yeah, women are gonna be more expensive are gonna cost more has more value there. So. 31:24.80 Max Shank So okay, we're into arranged marriages which is like hey this is just how it is and there was no concept of divorce and then you know the story of King James King James bible. 31:42.34 mikebledsoe Nah. Thanks! So yeah, please tell it? yeah. 31:42.88 Max Shank 1 of my favorite stories ever he but you know he's a he's Good. Ah Catholic guy I Want to say Catholic Christian something like that he was He was hip with the bible and then he was married to this lady. He's like fuck I got to get out of this thing and they're like sorry church doctrine says no go and he's like we're gonna have to rewrite this book and so and so they did now you have the the King James bible which is like yeah divorce is okay Now. And I think that's hilarious I think that it's okay to play it either way. It's okay to want to stick it out and try to make it work and it's also okay to be thankful that for the time that you had with somebody. 32:21.67 mikebledsoe To what. 32:36.62 Max Shank And and move on with your life I think it's I think it's important to understand that people do grow in different ways. So this whole idea of till death to us part is like a really good idea. It. It seems meaningful but also I mean people do. Change people go through midlife crisis people go through just constant evolution and people grow differently sometimes sometimes you grow the same get intertwined and sometimes you grow in polar opposite directions and you have nothing left in common anymore. 33:08.22 mikebledsoe Yeah I'll throw in my ah I'll throw in a vulnerable share of the day. So the ah so I was made for 9 years huh 33:19.90 Max Shank You're bisexual. What's that huh. 33:25.50 mikebledsoe I was married for 9 years and so greedy bunch of bastards just pick aside. Um so I'm actually really jealous of of people can go both ways. Oh yeah. 33:30.17 Max Shank Bisexual is just greedy so greedy double dipping not cool man. 33:43.57 Max Shank Um, yeah, it's greedy. It's amazing. Yeah. 33:45.22 mikebledsoe Yeah, they have double the opportunity. Yeah so I was made for 9 years and ah, you know we we so parted ways about 2 and a half years ago now. Um. Ah, when when I got married I don't think she's gonna listen to this I'll I'll over share a bit but we'll see yeah, ah, when we were first married like. 34:10.80 Max Shank This will be the first 1 She listens to no question. 34:21.83 mikebledsoe We were a certain type of person I I know ah she was full of Insecurity I was full of Insecurity I was ah fairly I was very stressed out all the time I was ah yeah I was. I was fearful around relationships specifically I had a scarcity mentality I you know I I look back and and you know I made some decisions based on the wrong reasons and the reason I did that is because nobody can I never heard anyone tell me the right reasons you would want to be married. 34:57.87 Max Shank And. 34:59.60 mikebledsoe Like I I remember growing up in church and hearing things but like now that I'm forty was married for 9 years and I'm in ah, a really ah relationship I'm stoked about for a year and a half and now I can see I can see things so much clearly now and. And the advice that I would give somebody who's 25 or what was I was 27 when I got married twenty eight the advice I would give that person is no 1 gave me the advice I would give me now and but so some of it has to do with. Who you're surrounding yourself with and this before podcast before I get all enlightening shit. But ah so so enlightened. Yeah, yeah, that's usually it. Ah so ah. 35:42.46 Max Shank So enlightened. That's what all the enlightened people say I'm I'm just so enlightened. 35:56.82 mikebledsoe So I look back and go Wow! It's just a lot of core wounding. There's like a lot of lot of emotional wounds. A lot of insecurity that was driving a lot of the decisions during that time which made us a perfect couple we were we were meant to be together. We matched lock and key. 36:08.73 Max Shank You matched Harm eyes. Yeah. 36:14.25 mikebledsoe Yeah, like she she had like the ways in which I showed up for her was probably how she wished her dad would show up for her and and so on and so forth and so over the years the relationship it was 1 of those things where as we. Healed a lot of those wounds and didn't have the same insecurities popping up and and a lot of that just didn't matter anymore. You know, certain things didn't bother me anymore and I and I was open to more of my own desires versus what I was scared of losing and. During that time. We also improved our communication skills. We went to workshops and improved how to communicate I attended relationship workshops I did a lot of a lot of my personal development was how to improve relationships in general and so while. While I was in a relationship that what bound us together began to dissolve I also was getting better at relationships. So it was. It was like the relationship would get hard and then would get easier and so I was in this I was in this relationship I was like oh that is really hard. Don't know if I can make it. 37:15.17 Max Shank Live. 37:30.00 mikebledsoe And then I learned some way new way of relating and I changed something about myself and then like oh now we're jam and this is great and then we'd hit another hard stop and it really I got to the point where I go oh that that the core thing that has been binding us together for so long that's gone and. 37:45.92 Max Shank Ah. 37:48.77 mikebledsoe Now it's about just trying to make this relationship work because we've been in it for so long and so yeah, yeah, and um, you know and when I when I left that relationship there. It took me. 37:54.23 Max Shank Sunk cost policy. 38:07.79 mikebledsoe It's been 2 and a half years it has not been that long for a nine year relationship 2 and a half years is not that long. So I still It's like every day that goes by I experience this less. It's almost nothing. It's probably a few times a week at this point, there's this guilt that may come up it. It. Kind of like this question comes up with could I have done something differently or could I have been a different way or I see myself in my current relationship where I'm doing things for her that my ex wanted me to do for her but I just didn't do. 38:39.77 Max Shank Um. 38:43.87 mikebledsoe Or I was for for some reason I was incapable in that moment and even though I tried and now I'm witnessing myself. Do it with ease and then I feel a little bit of guilt like oh why is it that I can do this so easily now it's so difficult then um, and so it's It's a very interesting thing to have. 38:50.94 Max Shank Yeah, yeah. 39:02.44 Max Shank That's a big deal. 39:03.58 mikebledsoe Been and yeah, been in a nine year relationship and be able to look at it and go oh yeah, and and I'm very fortunate because when I left the relationship. You know there was there was a good year where a little over a year we were working on it before we split like we was we we knew that we this was a possibility. 39:16.11 Max Shank Ah. 39:22.73 mikebledsoe And ah yeah, what I what I made sure of when I loved that relationship is I didn't want to bring any of the bullshit into the next relationship or go you know what I need to make sure that I'm I like clean here I don't want. Ah. 39:33.12 Max Shank Whatever. 39:42.38 mikebledsoe Even though we we still ended up splitting I had to make sure that it wasn't me. It wasn't like something that was 1 hundred percent me that was that was the problem because I knew that that would just show up in the next relationship and I don't want to do that to somebody else and so ah so i. Um, in my my experience I largely did that and then splitting up I had a year where I really focused on myself and I did date a little bit but man a lot of lessons there too. 40:12.71 Max Shank Yeah I think that guilt that you were talking about is really um, it's nice that you feel comfortable sharing that I've definitely felt that myself. Basically every relationship I've ever been in is I Always think what I could have done differently whether it's a. 40:27.76 mikebledsoe Um, a. 40:31.51 Max Shank Business relationship or romantic relationship. Ah professional project was just telling someone the other day that as soon as I finish teaching a course I think of like 10 things I wish I had done different as soon as I finished launching a product I'm like oh God should have done this this and this different as soon as the relationships. And I'm like oh man I could have done this this and this and you you got to be kind to yourself and recognize that you're doing the best you can with what you got based on how you think and feel at the time you know and so it's important not to drag any of the Bs along with you. 40:52.23 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 41:03.28 mikebledsoe Yeah, so. 41:10.22 Max Shank But you still want to remember those lessons So I'm really appreciative of all the relationships that I have had and I try to keep the lessons that I've learned and I try to focus on the things that I did like because then you also have a good frame of reference. For whatever relationship you're in now and you know you don't want to get into like comparison syndrome or something like that. But it's good to know. Um what you like and what you don't like and get comfortable drawing drawing boundaries and saying this is what I'm willing to um trade off or sacrifice. For what I'm willing to give what I'm willing to get out of a relationship. What I'm looking for in a relationship and I think that maybe the most important thing to realize is if you can't say no then you're basically a slave like if you can't say. You can't say no to something then you're you'll just be eroded over Time. So You're not really yourself. 42:10.41 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, that. 42:26.23 mikebledsoe I'll find the thought. 42:38.44 Max Shank Yeah I think it's natural to judge ourselves especially when a relationship ends any anytime something finishes I think it's normal to say like oh what could I have done different. It's also probably common to viciously attack the character of the other person and say it's all their fault. 42:48.71 mikebledsoe Well probably. 42:56.90 mikebledsoe I Think that's the most common. Yeah, that's more common than yeah I mean's a mix of both I'm sure but you know we we can judge our previous self harshly because we've learned the lesson now we didn't know then where we didn't know it well enough then. 42:57.47 Max Shank So you don't want to get into that trap either. 43:09.21 Max Shank Yeah. 43:14.10 mikebledsoe To take action on it or you didn't know how to do it. But after the fact you look back and go I know how to do that and then that's another reason to to give yourself a little bit of grace but you were digging into boundaries and um, yeah, the boundaries has been 1 of the most important things. Oh yeah, what I would that remind me of. Is well we can talk about boundaries later. But what I want to dig in here based on what you were just saying is when I said hey I want to I want to reengage with my dating life again and which I mean in my first marriage I was also dating other women. 43:45.80 Max Shank The. 43:52.29 mikebledsoe It was completely open. We were completely transparent about it. It was so it wasn't like I had gotten back up now the way I approached dating was very different. It felt very different from you know when I was married it was just like okay I'm gonna go have fun with this person when I was single it was like. 44:02.75 Max Shank The. 44:11.38 mikebledsoe I Had this experience of oh this could be something more and so it's like the pressure went up on it to a degree where which was surprising to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was actually interesting to watch myself. Ah, yeah, Wow I actually desire to be in a relationship. 44:17.56 Max Shank Right before it was a play date before it was a play date Now you're playing for keeps. Basically. 44:29.37 Max Shank Ah. 44:31.27 mikebledsoe Ah, and so ah, what I did was I I was sitting with my coach at the time he's actually in Encinitas and he says to me. Ah well,, you're very interested in women even though you're you're newly divorced and. All that you seem to attract women pretty easily and you like being in a relationship you like to be with women like yeah, that's all Accurate. He goes well I would write down what it is you want in a woman and because basically. I was working with him during you know all that leading up to my divorce and afterwards and what he saw was when you're when you're breaking away from a relationship. It is very difficult to see what it is. You do want you? you primarily see all the things you don't want or what you don't like. 45:25.87 Max Shank The. 45:27.76 mikebledsoe Like I want out of this I don't want this anymore and so it was I remember it was very hard for me to shift the gears into focusing on what I did want from a woman or maybe not from her but ah of a woman versus what I didn't want. And the list of didn't was so you can translate this the the list of don't wants can really inform you your do wants you can make all your list of like I don't want this this and this and go what's the opposite of that. So um, that's how I started I started I was like you know what? I don't want all this shit. 45:59.55 Max Shank 10 46:06.70 mikebledsoe So I do want this and what I did was I swung really hard and I went to the other side of the spectrum and and then dated a woman who was the opposite of my ex and in a lot of ways. Um, and. 46:19.40 Max Shank And. 46:23.69 mikebledsoe And my coach even I remember got a chuckle at it's like dude you you just went the other direction hard like how's that going I'm like I'm loving it and then crash and burn is like no I don't love that and I realized that there were a lot of traits that I thought were valuable and this is going back to your your point early on which is. 46:27.61 Max Shank No. 46:42.76 mikebledsoe Good to try out a lot of different types of people when dating and looking at different. You know what type of personality traits all this stuff. There was a lot of things that I imagined that I desired. But for instance I desired a woman that was ah like financially independent I wasn't going to need to take care of them all this kind of stuff. So I ended up dating a woman who made like 2 to 3 times the amount of money I was making and it was It was really exciting I was like oh cool like I don't have to cover everything and she doesn't mind this and that and I get to go have lavish experiences and. 47:14.42 Max Shank And. 47:19.66 mikebledsoe Fivestar hotels and all this shit Ca Bana Boy Mike Yeah, so and I make good money so like ah for her to make triple like she's banking. She's you know? and so I but then I was like oh the emotional availability of this person is just nothing. 47:21.45 Max Shank Cabana Boy mike. 47:39.10 mikebledsoe And I was like oh I I didn't have that written down because it was just a like to me I think it was probably a given but I wasn't focused on it consciously so I wasn't choosing it. So then I go you know what I don't care. She doesn't have to be filthy rich she ah because I actually put down the intention I Want to date someone who makes more money to me. 47:44.38 Max Shank And. 47:56.93 Max Shank I Thought that was gonna be your advice for the listeners is just marry a rich girl. Ah. 47:59.50 mikebledsoe And. Um, yeah, well, you know if she's self-made that could be a good thing if she's not good luck. Um, because I've I over the years I I dated some ah some rich girls when I was younger I was like in my teens but ah what a pain. So what I did was I kept refining my list I kept refining and writing down like what I wanted in a woman and then I got to a point where well I then went celibate for seven months. The first hundred days was on purpose and then. The rest of the time I was sell that was due to covid. So I basically I was gonna end my Ninety my hundred day was gonna be like the beginning of March like I was like about to get back in the game covid hit and then so I had to wait another few months to get back in. But um, yeah, during that time lot of reflection. 48:41.90 Max Shank And. 48:49.40 Max Shank Avenue. Ah. 48:59.36 mikebledsoe And so when I did meet the person I'm with now she really does check all the boxes and I I think it is part of it is I did the work of finding Out. What is it that I really want somebody and things that I thought were valuable like. Aren't as bad but like I I value emotional development over money for sure. 49:26.64 Max Shank It's really valuable to write those things down and what's interesting is I've done the same thing. The list of things that you want is also the best way you can show up in a relationship. 49:39.25 mikebledsoe Show like. 49:42.90 Max Shank Like it just turns right back on you, you're like dammit This is like how I can best be in a relationship too. You know it's not just like ah okay, ah, pretty lady here's a list of things I want from you and she's like great. She hands you the list back and's like yeah I want that too and you're like fuck. 49:46.47 mikebledsoe Yeah. 49:59.41 mikebledsoe I Well I think there's I think there's some I think that's partly true. Ah, you know, kind of like the treat ah treat others the way you want to be treated. Um, but really the. 50:02.41 Max Shank Ah, yeah. 50:13.33 Max Shank Oh I don't think that's true. Yeah. 50:16.51 mikebledsoe Yeah, you want to treat people the way they want to be treated so like in a relationship that probably is the ways in which you could show up better but also be on the lookout for what is it they want and how they like for me I I could I could do with less touch and my relationship like. 50:33.54 Max Shank Well. 50:36.37 mikebledsoe Um I I love touch I'm a high touch person but my girlfriend's even more so so like she has to remind me like are you gonna touch me I'm like oh okay, yeah, and I appreciate the reminder. But if I touched her as much as I wanted to be touched. She would not be satisfied. 50:41.16 Max Shank Um. Right. 50:52.68 Max Shank As long as you're both willing to communicate that then it can work out. Okay, and as long as you understand what's going on there then it's okay, but like I think shying away from direct Crystal clear communication. 50:57.13 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 51:11.60 Max Shank Is maybe perceived as not very sexy sometimes but also it's the main reason that people quietly suffer in a relationship they're like in their head I'm not getting what I want but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep things really smooth and it's like no, that's not. 51:15.48 mikebledsoe It. 51:30.66 Max Shank That's not going to work Meanwhile if you have like 2 gay guys and they're both tops. There's no confusion there because no 1 is going to be happy in that situation. You need a top and you need a bottom and you know you understand what I'm saying like they're they're not going to. Well. 51:45.83 mikebledsoe I get it I do it I know how I know how gay people do it? yeah. 51:50.23 Max Shank I've met a lot. Ah I've met a lot of gay guys. Um, yeah, what? Ah what a fun bunch of fellows. Um, but yeah, there's no, there's no mincing words there is what I've noticed. It's like I am ah I am a top I am a bottom. Ah great. 52:01.62 mikebledsoe Is what it's what. 52:09.87 Max Shank Um, a bottom. It's not going to work. There's no,, There's no compatibility there and the same thing is true with asking for what you want out of a relationship and being clear on what the expectations are and I think of a relationship. Ah, like a romantic 1 is really a lot more like ah, a business partnership than anything Else. You are building a life together and you need to have more or less an operating agreement just as just like you would need in any other business like. You know I'll get the food and you cook the food and you do this and I'll do this and this and you know we have our responsibilities So There's no confusion about who's responsible for what and there's none of that um lack of clarity that can make people start to. Quietly Harbor resentment which is a huge problem. So if you don't ask for what you want and you get resentful. That's on you. 53:13.35 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah I think for a lot of people. They don't even know what they want so they I I yeah. 53:20.32 Max Shank Yeah, we'll shoot. Don't most people choose partners just based on how pretty they look by the way I think that if you prioritize that above everything else, You're probably going to have. Ah, relationship that is really challenging at some point. 53:41.43 mikebledsoe I've never seen anyone who valued that over everything else have a ah long happy relationship. 53:46.59 Max Shank Well because a relationship you know, even if you're doing a lot of sex. It's still like four percent of your day. It's an ah, an hour is four percent. The rest of the the rest of the time there's got to be other things that keep you interested. 54:02.63 mikebledsoe Yeah, I'm not remembering who who told me this but ah, probably some relationship guru. Ah and which is sex is there to bridge the gap so that you have time to build the. 54:05.28 Max Shank You know what. 54:09.27 Max Shank Um, and. 54:21.29 mikebledsoe Foundation of the relationship and if you make sex the foundation of the relationship. It's not going to last because like I said the beginning of the show. The first six months of relationship you're on drugs you're high. You're not, you're not thinking straight your hormones and. 54:22.23 Max Shank Are. 54:29.10 Max Shank Yeah, right? no. 54:40.77 mikebledsoe Neurotransmitters are firing very differently than they will be in a year from now. Ah when you're relating to the same person so sex is a you know great sex I think for me isn't I need great sex I I will if I if I'm not getting that i. Begin to wander pretty easily. Um I mean I got high sex drive or something. 55:02.50 Max Shank I Don't think there's anything I don't think there's anything wrong with that I think recognizing that things are changing in a way that you don't like is extremely valuable and it kind of correlates back to another important point which is if you're not. Comfortable by yourself. You probably won't be able to make the right choice for a relationship. 55:29.60 mikebledsoe That's true. Yeah I the relationship I'm in I was I actually went this whole process where I was because I didn't know what was going to happen with a pandemic I'm like oh maybe I'm single for the rest of my life. Maybe there was a moment where that was like in the first the first month of it. 55:43.40 Max Shank Oh yeah, what. 55:47.10 mikebledsoe Was going world seems pretty chaotic I don't know if I'm gonna find a mate anytime soon. It might be a while I might as well enjoy me and without a partner. Um, yeah, what was I saying before that feel like we jumped tracks I was on to go back. 55:51.70 Max Shank Um, ah. 56:05.70 mikebledsoe Um, and my memory is not go ahead. 56:07.47 Max Shank What you're the you you were talking about that. Um, you have a certain level of touch desire. Your lady has a slightly higher 1 Great sex is important to you but it's not the only thing you said sex is the bridge to build the foundation of other stuff. 56:21.71 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, yeah, the. But yeah, the set sex will hold 2 people together long enough to build that foundation. But if you don't spend time building the other aspects of your relationship aligning your boundaries aligning your values your vision of the future together. If. You don't take care of that in the first six months you probably won't it probably won't last and if you do make the choice to stay in a relationship and you don't have those things I would I would challenge you to look at whether you're with that person out of insecurity versus. 56:56.80 Max Shank Um, it's really more like codependence and you're not willing to cut your losses even though it's the right choice I mean that is 1 of the most common fallacies in relationships is the sunk cost fallacies. Well I've been with this person it. So I'll stay with this person and it's like. 56:58.77 mikebledsoe Out of true desire. 57:04.43 mikebledsoe Right. 57:13.18 mikebledsoe In here. 57:16.80 Max Shank No, it's the same as ah, owning stock or owning possessions. It's not what I keep this. It's would I buy this today brand new again and if the answer is no then like what are you doing like yeah. 57:32.20 mikebledsoe That's. 57:36.79 Max Shank Oh man, it really is That's why I was so interested to talk about this and it's funny how you and I were just both thinking about the same thing because the whole concept of I know we both just were like how about relationships because it is I think the. 57:44.37 mikebledsoe If we didn't know what we were gonna talk about 2 hours ago. You know. 57:56.24 Max Shank The number 1 greatest thing ever is having ah like a loving romantic relationship or even just loving relationships in general and the worst thing is to have a relationship that is ah the source of Resentment. You know the source of settling for for less and it it can be really really good or really, really Awful. So It's probably the most important choice to make. 58:18.67 mikebledsoe Yeah I think. 58:27.21 mikebledsoe I would say there was a there was a ah early my relate. You know my previous relationship there was I would work to get away I would I was always wanting to travel you know business conference signed me up. You know, just a little bit of relief here and there. 58:39.61 Max Shank The. 58:45.81 mikebledsoe And but now I find myself now wanting to like I want to work to provide for the the family like I want to set things up so that we can spend more time together and when we travel apart. 59:01.59 Max Shank Yeah, perfect. 59:03.60 mikebledsoe Um, like I miss her and like it's it's it's oh I wish she could be with me instead of you know, whatever so and she actually has been traveling more than me which is ah that's a first as well is well that's not the first time I've been in relationship where they they were traveling more but it's ah. 59:12.68 Max Shank And. 59:21.36 mikebledsoe In a relationship that's lasted this long being with somebody who travels as much as she does is like okay. 59:25.45 Max Shank So when you were a little younger you were traveling a lot and not ah not getting too attached kind of so it's really funny like because you know I traveled a ton for work and I think I also. 59:32.23 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, okay. 59:44.60 Max Shank Had this idea that if I was desirable to women then that was the best thing so I wouldn't want to be in a relationship I would just want to be like coveted which sounds pretty like twisted I guess but that's just the way I was so I wouldn't even I wouldn't even date people who lived close to me they had to. Live like really far away so it was like totally clear like hey we're just we're just having fun. There's like nothing to because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. But I also thought that my worth as a person was directly correlated. Whether. As to whether as to how I was judged by women if I was desirable isn't that funny. 01:00:24.38 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, have a similar experience which is ah I was married and then like I just I wanted to be seen as desirable. So I had to walk I know a party with 2 women on my arms like instead of just 1 ne's not enough. 01:00:37.90 Max Shank Yeah, right. 01:00:41.63 mikebledsoe Have 2 I got to show that I got to show everybody that I'm desirable I'm good enough. 01:00:44.70 Max Shank And that's what I would come in with 3 and that's when I would come in with 3 because that meant I was 1 lady better than you. 01:00:54.89 mikebledsoe I wish that scene actually did go down like I walk in with 2 I'm like you walk in with 3 like fuck man. He beat me again. 01:00:56.94 Max Shank It's like that would have been. Then Jay-z walks in with 21 of them is beyonce and we're just like I guess he wins it's It's funny. Ah, how direct that message is. Like popular culture and especially music like it's all about like cars and planes and hoes and that's like the value of a man is like how many hose he has poolside and his mansion and what kind of plane. 01:01:26.72 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:01:35.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, is a thing 1 thing occurred to me in this conversation which I'm I'm having a lot of appreciation for myself and that I never thought I'd be as good with women as I am today? Um, um, ah I did become quite the ladies man I can I can work a room. I can pick up women I can ask them out on dates fairly easy. And yeah, when I was younger I was terrified that I would never be attractive or be able to talk to women with confidence. So just conversations allowed me reflect on that. So it's. 01:02:11.79 Max Shank I think I I did the same thing I put them up on a pedestal like they were some sort of otherworldly creature and they are in a certain sense. It's interesting because what we like about women is that they're different than men. But also what we hate about them. 01:02:12.24 mikebledsoe Pretty cool. 01:02:31.78 Max Shank Is the way that they're different from men most of the time. So So it's ah it's interesting. That's what makes relationships. Um fun I think is the differences but it's also what makes them challenging because you can't know what another person's. Life experience is like and you know I think maybe 1 other thought that is important is it's never personal like no 1 Ne's ever personally rejecting you? No 1 Ne's ever personally attacking you no 1 Ne's ever. 01:02:52.23 mikebledsoe No. 01:03:09.75 Max Shank Like lashing out at you. They're just in a state where their lizard brain has taken over because they feel afraid or they just want something different, but it's never personal to you as an individual what someone else does and I think that's that's probably pretty hard for. 01:03:23.34 mikebledsoe So. 01:03:29.74 Max Shank Most people too believe but it's true. 01:03:31.90 mikebledsoe Yeah, not taking things personally is huge I think in general but in relationships yeah, that's in romantic relationships if you can master that 1 then that'll that'll help you out I mean my my girlfriend I have gotten into we've had 1 fight. 01:03:49.50 Max Shank Or. 01:03:50.91 mikebledsoe Many disagreements but were able to work it out 1 fight where I raised my voice and regretted it but um and quickly mended that is 1 of those where like the the switch got flipped. There's 3 o'clock in the morning you know I'll make up all sorts of excuses why it happened but ah. 01:04:05.98 Max Shank Here Come the excuses. 01:04:10.57 mikebledsoe Ah, ah, but now I forgot what I was talking about all the shame came rolling in. Um, yeah, so what was I talking about. 01:04:16.73 Max Shank Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself for losing control for 1 minute. 01:04:30.30 mikebledsoe I took nootropics this morning and I think they backfired my memory has been terrible on this show. 01:04:32.87 Max Shank Oh gosh I am also cutting you off more than usual because I wanted to say a few things today. 01:04:38.86 mikebledsoe Ah I think it's good I think I think it worked out my lack of memory here. It's perfect. Perfect I hope you got a lot of words in today. 01:04:47.10 Max Shank yeah yeah I did I got in more than usual, um because that's you know how we assert our dominance in this conversation. Maybe maybe the folks at home can vote on which 1 of us is the dominant 1 in this podcast. 01:04:57.30 mikebledsoe It's not. It's right? it. 01:05:05.77 mikebledsoe Ah, we should just be a vote for every show you know who won who won this who won the match. It's like it's ah it's a podcast fight you know, um. 01:05:08.73 Max Shank Yeah, yeah, who. 01:05:20.70 Max Shank That's actually 1 of the things I like about our conversations and usually I find this is more true with talking to women as they don't interrupt and steamroll as much and they're better at listening. 01:05:31.84 mikebledsoe And. 01:05:34.14 Max Shank And I'm not trying to compare you to women at all I think I also have a more feminine conversational style where I feel comfortable just letting someone talk for a long time but it's very difficult to make any headway in a conversation if you are only talking with people who want to win the conversation. 01:05:51.60 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:05:53.91 Max Shank Right? That's ah, that's a huge
Want a sure fire way to create resentment in your relationship? Just start acting like their parent instead of their partner. In this week's episode, I cover many of the examples of what you or your partner may be doing that would be considered parental and what it is that you can do to fix that before it's too late. Once resentment gets to a certain point, it is almost impossible to recover the relationship. Better to identify these things early on and get it corrected while you can. Or better yet, recognize them yourself and choose to not get into this type of relationship. Send emails to email@example.com Check out www.theorionway.com for more details
Bitterness and resentment, unbridled anger or lust, and a faulty foundation in the relationship. Those are the ingredients we will look at this week that build into an ugly marriage. That's what we'll be looking at on Married By Design.This week we are looking at the relationships David had with his wives. Again, it seems very strange to talk about a husband and his wives. The original marriage was between one man and one woman. But the Israelites were so influenced by the cultures around them that they had marriages that were quite contrary to what God wanted.Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to take one of these areas and discuss it as a couple. There may be one of these things that resonates with the two of you. Take the time to look at this issue in the Bible and discuss it and come up with a plan of action in response. You can look at a lack of commitment, bitterness and resentment, and unbridled anger and lust, a faulty foundation in the relationship, or not standing for what is right. You can also look at the positive example of Abigail and addressing issues and helping your spouse.You can reach us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Earth School is a challenge. Our plans do not always work out. Perhaps how we thought an experience would go takes a different direction. Actions and choices have consequences and some we enjoy and some we do not. It is all part of our Soul Growth and Learning. Guided Imagery to Release Resentment.
Resentment creeps into our life when we think life isn't fair, when things or people shouldn't be how they are or we feel betrayed. Resentment makes us the victim of our lives. Gratitude is the antidote to resentment - we can't feel resentment and gratitude at the same time. Gratitude is a courageous and vulnerable choice we make to take back our emotional control. Listen as Heidi walks listeners through many situations and how to create more gratitude and happiness.
This week our topic is Self-Love and today's episode we are talking about Will. To understand Self-Love, we must investigate the opposite of this which is Self-Hatred and Self-Contempt. This is the Apathy State which keeps the Ego escalating our state between Regret and Resentment. The only escape from the Apathy State is through the Will of Volition not Willpower. ________________________________________________________ Join The Stress Mastery Community today for FREE! Click here to register HERE! Love the show? Tweet me a shoutout at: @Billcortright Want to sponsor episodes of The Stress Mastery Podcast? Email Bill at : Bill@livingrightwithbillcortright.com Mentioned in this show: Join the private Facebook Group: The Stress Mastery Podcast Subscription/SocialLinks: Subscribe on iTunes Subscribe to the The Stress Mastery Mailing List Watch on Youtube www.livingrightwithbillcortright.com Instagram: @livingrightwithbillcortright Facebook at Bill Cortright STAY INSPIRED!
Men are taught to provide for the family. In general, this is a great value. Sometimes, we can take it too far, forsaking those we love for work. Resentment and disconnection arise in our spouses and children. Listen in as Dr. John discusses the ease with which we can become addicted to the pursuit of achievement and success, the impact it can have on our relationships, and what to do about it. Topics discussed: The Hedonic Treadmill and how we adapt to all good things in life.Thinking of success on a 1 – 10 scale.How an addiction to success leads to greater misery rather than happiness and fulfillment. When is enough money truly enough?The ego strokes we get from succeeding at work compared to the chaos of home life.How the value of providing for the family becomes warped over time.Can men even recognize when happiness does strike them?The biggest takeaway about men's happiness unearthed by an 80 year ongoing study of men at Harvard.4 steps to break the cycle of success addiction.Please like, share and review if you dig this episode. Thank you!Please rate, review and share if you like this episode. If not, that's ok. You don't need to do a thing.If you like what you've heard at The Evolved Caveman podcast, support us by subscribing, leaving reviews on Apple podcasts. Every review helps to get the message out! Please share the podcast with friends and colleagues.Follow Dr. John Schinnerer on| Instagram | Instagram.com/@TheEvolvedCaveman| Facebook | Facebook.com/Anger.Management.Expert| Twitter | Twitter.com/@JohnSchin| LinkedIn | Linkedin.com/in/DrJohnSchinnererOr join the email list by visiting: GuideToSelf.comPlease visit our YouTube channel and remember to Like & Subscribe!https://www.youtube.com/user/jschinnererEditing/Mixing/Mastering by: Brian Donat of B/Line Studios www.BLineStudios.com
Sheina Schochet is a relationship coach and therapist who specializes in helping couples keep their connection after having kids. Find out why some couples are just as connected before and after having kids and why some get divorced. Sheina gives loads of relationship and marriage advice specifically as it relates to the challenges that a couple faces when they become parents. You can find Sheina on her Instagram page @loveafterbaby, as well as her website, where she offers courses and coaching. Check out her offerings here: 30 Day Challenge- https://sheinaschochet.com/30-day-challenge Touched Out to Turned On- https://sheinaschochet.thrivecart.com/touched-out-to-turned-on/ Resentment to Reconnection (has the $200 off code attached)- https://sheinaschochet.thrivecart.com/resentment-reconnection/ To continue the conversation, and learn more about similar topics, check out the Yoledet Academy Instagram community. Check out Dr. Elissa Hellman's new course for pre-teen girls, “Girls Growing Up,” on her website and Instagram page @theconfidentkallah. She is an Orthodox Jewish Ob/Gyn who developed this educational course about puberty with frum girls in mind. Check out the Yoledet Picks Amazon Storefront to find any of the products mentioned in this episode, and discover Chanie's other favorites. If you like what you hear and want to help more people discover this show, here's what you can do to help us grow: 1. Rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts. 2. Subscribe to this show on whichever podcast app you listen. Ex: hit the button "follow" right under the cover art on Spotify. Plus - you'll never miss another episode. 3. Be a good friend and spread the wealth of knowledge! You never know how this will improve someone's life. Did you know that you can listen on your web browser too? Just hit this link and share it with your friends - no special apps needed.
Avoidance is pain. This simple sentence has a huge impact in your dating life. When we “let things slide” resentment builds, and with resentment relationships suffer… Resentment can completely destroy connection. Inside of this episode you will learn: The dangers of avoidance (how it impacts your self-worth and your relationships. Ways to ensure you don't “avoid” in your relationship. How to prioritize the relationship with yourself. You don't want to miss this short and value packed episode! Make sure you tune in and shoot me a DM on IG @drmorgancoaching with your takeaways from the episode! Also, if you want to dive deeper into understanding avoidance in your own life, I highly recommend you apply to the E.S.L. Relationship Program ASAP! Spots are limited this month ANDDD there's no better time than November to join! We have a limited time offer happening where you get 30 BONUS days in the program so... ...don't wait, APPLY HERE!
Here's the thing about having kids — it changes everything. Your physical body, your mind, your hormones, your sex life, your sleeping life, what you eat, when you eat, and beyond. Many people don't talk about all the sucky parts of child-rearing because of fear that they are “doing it wrong” or will be deemed “bad parents” but what NOT TALKING ABOUT IT actually creates is mothers' beliefs that “there must be something wrong with me or my kids.” Postpartum anxiety and depression are a huge part of this conversation — and happening more frequently. In the United States alone, approximately 70% to 80% of women will experience, at a minimum, the ‘baby blues'. Many of these women will experience the more severe condition of postpartum depression or a related condition. (https://www.postpartumdepression.org) Many mothers don't know they are experiencing it because they are in the throes of no sleep, new experience, and without a template. In this episode, we talk to Madeline Clair Fisher and her experience of postpartum depression and anxiety. She tells us about doing some preventative work ahead of pregnancy to make sure she set herself up for success, and how her husband actually called out her behavior — “Hey you're not acting like yourself, let's get support.” We also discuss her recovery story, having been addicted to drugs in high school. Madeline also shares with us a hard conversation she had with her husband about feeling resentment in their sex life...and what was really underneath that. Interesting in working with a Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Madeline Clair Fisher: https://www.instagram.com/madeline.clair/ ____________________ About Ellen Melon: Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EllenMelonShow Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_F0bL0mItXS-jundACwnA Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________
“Maybe your King-Pin is resentment. Resentment holds back your good. The more you resent, the more you will have to resent; you grow a resentment track in your brain, and your expression will be one of habitual resentment. You will be avoided and miss the golden opportunities which await you each day.” — Florence Scovel Shinn I'm on Twitter and Instagram: Twitter | @iamSincerelyTam Instagram | @iamSincerelyTam Want more notes?: Visit SincerelyTam.com.
This semester we're going through a sermon series entitled, “Living In God's Story As We Live In This World.” As you go through life, it's easy to forget who you are and what story you're a part of. Alasdyre McIntyre reminds us that before we ask, “What do I have to do today?” we must first ask ourselves, “What story am I a part of?” The story you're living in informs the choices you make in the world. The claim of the semester is this: if the story of Jesus is true, then His story completely changes how we live in this world. For we are not only a character in God's story (because God's story of redemption is still happening right now!), we are also a carrier of God's story. We are called to carry God's story of love and redemption into the world because we are also a character in the story who needed to be loved and redeemed too.So every week we ask ourselves, “How does this biblical passage teach us how to live in God's Story as we live in the world?”This week we continue to look at the story of Jonah and his resentful heart at God's love and mercy. We learn that resentment comes from an idolatrous heart, it leads to loneliness and fragility, and how God pursues us in our resentment with patience and compassion.TEXT: Jonah 4
ALIK & LAUREN'S STORY: In this podcast about love, marriage & relationships by Dr. Ray & Jean offering relationship advice for couples, we interview Alik & Lauren about how they incorporate Laughter Yoga into their marriage. To learn more about Laughing Lovebugs, visit: https://www.laughinglovebugs.com/ Please subscribe to our podcast and leave us a comment and review. If you have questions, topic suggestions or would like to be considered as guests, email us at email@example.com. For more information about Couples Synergy, look us up online at Couplessynergy.com
Get out your fucking notepads and I'm not kidding in the slightest. IM BACK freaky-family, and today I'm about to tell you the gods honest truth, as to why your spouse isn't fucking you more. Maybe they hate your guts, maybe they are just seriously tired, maybe they are numb inside from raising soul sucking children IYKYK. Im here to give insight, to offer solutions, and address 3 listeners specific stories as to why they desire more intimacy in their lives, and the response they get from their spouses. Husbands.....Wives....know I come from a place of love when I say the things I do, someones gotta tell ya! If you want to take the love language quiz with your spouse you can find it here!https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-languageBUY THE HORNY HOUSEWIFE A DAMN DRINK TO KEEP THE PODCAST SAUCY: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/hornyhousewifeFollow me on IG @thehornyhousewifepodcasttik tok @thehornyhousewife
Suzanne traveled to Tennessee in September 2021 for an incredible Enneagram Stances workshop. The questions asked were fantastic, but we didn't have enough time to answer them all, so Joel tucked the cards away in the ol' backpack and broke them out for today's episode of TEJ podcast! Resentment and the dependent stance. What about the other 2 stances? Orientation to time Fives and feeling How to help the doing repressed....do? Parenting a 1 and more Plug time! The Journey Toward Wholeness is released and available! Get your copy today, and please take the time to review it on Amazon and Goodreads. You can find it anywhere you get your books, and of course at lifeinthetrinityministry.com Teaching Tour! Suzanne is hitting 10 cities across the country for The Enneagram Journey Toward Wholeness book and podcast tour. Visit lifeinthetrinityministry.com/tour22 for information and registration. The first 3 cities registration is up already: Richmond, VA, Birmingham, AL, and Houston, TX. See you on the road for the journey! Today's introduction: Suzanne talking on stances from episode 50 of The Enneagram Journey podcast Clip from "Zoolander" the hilarious (according to Joel) 2001 movie with Ben Stiller and Jon Voight Ann Willet (4) from episode 60 of The Enneagram Journey podcast
Hello and welcome to episode 305 of The Mindful Kind podcast about dealing with resentment. In this episode, you'll learn more about what resentment is and some strategies that I've found helpful when I'm dealing with it, including: - Practice observing resentment and understanding what it feels like and why it occurs - Explore if the resentment might be telling you something important. For example, is it a sign that you might need to seek extra support, communicate more effectively, or stand up for yourself? - Give yourself time to heal from resentment, but also look for opportunities to be honest about it (especially if resentment is appearing in your close relationships) Don't forget to visit www.rachaelkable.com/podcast/305 to sign up for my email list! Thank you so much for listening and I hope you have a wonderful week, Mindful Kind.
I'm joined by a colleague Dr Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and we talk about the marriages where everything seems to be great - except in one area. What's happening here? Plus, how do you address resentment in marriage and life? Learn more about Dr Jennifer here - https://www.finlayson-fife.com/ Enjoy the show! Sponsors ... The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union The post Resentment #544 appeared first on Sexy Marriage Radio.
If asked about Ryan L's most prominent character trait growing up, his family would likely cite his need to be right. This trait caused him to inwardly (and sometimes outwardly) push his family members aside at the cost of the loving connections that he needed as a sensitive kid. Through his parents' attempts at sexual education, Ryan learned that sex was supposed to be a loving, connecting thing – never mind that it was only supposed to be used in marriage. At 8 years old, he discovered masturbation and then at 14 he discovered pornography and used them to avoid having to admit that he was wrong. His "inner child" never had a chance to grow up because he couldn't admit his mistake or accept his family members in their imperfections. Instead, he hid that boy away behind walls of half-truths, outright lies, and secrecy. Resentment became a way of life and it only progressed with the practice of sexual addiction. However, while watching his brother's change from the darkness of his own addictions to light, Ryan saw something that he wanted: real change and light. Ryan began working the 12 steps of recovery with ARPSupport sponsorship and SAL groups. One of the most powerful experiences he has had in the last 2+ years of recovery was the amends he made and still works on today to God and to himself.If you are hearing this meeting in recorded podcast form and would like to participate as a live audience member in the future, please go to www.reco12.com to learn more and submit your email address there to receive weekly invitations. Reco12 is a self-supporting service and we appreciate your help in keeping us working our Step 12 in this manner. We gratefully accept contributions to help cover the costs of the Zoom platform, podcast platform, web hosting, and administrative costs. To contribute, you can go to https://www.reco12.com/support or you can click the link to PayPal (https://www.paypal.me/reco12) in the chat of the live meeting. When you contribute, please specify the meeting number. This is meeting number 73.Resources mentioned in this meeting:Inner child questions:Have I been honest with you today?Where did I try to pause and listen to you today?How have I shown you love today?How have I shown you your worth today?What have I worked towards today?What did your emotional sides try to tell you today?How have I accepted and supported the little boy today?What did I try to run from today?Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marbles at a BattleshipSAL12StepARPARPSupportSexaholics Anonymous and the White BookOutro music is “Standing Still” by Cory Ellsworth and Randy Kartchner, performed by Mike Eldred and Elizabeth Wolfe. This song, and/or the entire soundtrack for the future Broadway musical, “Crosses: A Musical of Hope”, can be purchased here: https://music.apple.com/us/album/crosses-musical-hope-by-cory/528476262 This song is used with the permission of Cory Ellsworth.Support the show (https://www.reco12.com/support)
I am sharing these two posts from the blog I felt led to create called Types of Christians. You can access 100's of these posts from this blog on https://TypesOfChristians.blogspot.com/ Since these posts are examples of how I apply particular Bible passages to my personal life, they may not reflect the total meaning of the Bible passage. They are shared as examples, so people might realize that the Bible is still relevant in our lives today! Please share this podcast and blog link with those who might benefit. Thanks! Debbie
Free Training for Sex and Porn Addicts and Their Partners: The Four Transformational Shifts You Must Make to Break Free from Sex & Porn Addiction - https://www.themindfulhabitonline.com/free-video-training-craig-perraVisit our website right now to learn more about our coaching programs: https://www.themindfulhabit.comCall if you want to talk to someone to learn more about our programs and costs: (877) 769-3790We offer a 100% UNCONDITIONAL 30 Day Money Back Guarantee on our self study, group, and one on one coaching programs with CraigRead our 340+ Excellent 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Verified Testimonials and read exactly what clients say about our programs https://www.trustpilot.com/review/themindfulhabit.comFollow us on social media to learn more about habits, mindfulness, unmet needs, parts work, and other tools to live your best life. We do not focus on porn addiction or sex addiction. We focus on success!!!! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/themindfulhabitsystemYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/themindfulhabitTwitter: https://twitter.com/themindfulhabitInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/coach_craiglyleMerchandise (yes, really!! Check it out, it's pretty cool and has nothing to do with sex and porn addiction): https://powerpurposegear.com/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0ILT9xCM1SxEbJpWUmlF00?si=eD1QL8dgQJmnE4C5yg1R0wiTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sex-afflictions-porn-addictions/id556373664?mt=2Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/mindfulhabitcoach
This week I have a personal chat about my experience with resentment towards parents prompted by an awesome submission from community member Pia who is processing some recent information about their dad and their family dynamic. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -If you have a question for the show, please send it to the show name at gmail dot com or via Patreon or Discord (links below)!- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Pay me, Daddy!Patreon | Venmo | PayPal | Cash AppJoin the community!Discord
Wishing people would behave in the way that you think that they should? If only they'd clean up when they should, take care of things the way that they should, and do so at the time that they should. Resentment starts out with those thoughts and it grows and grows. Let's change that today.Book your consultation call to stop feeling both overwhelmed and resentful, for good.Sign up for my email list and get a guide to ditch overwhelm today.Let's hang out on Instagram.Leave a rating and review of the podcast so that other women can find it and ditch overwhelm too.
Recorded: 3/14/2021- In this episode of The Krypt we are going to talk about when you should not participate in BDSM play also known as a scene or scening. - Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com. - Rules to Love By: ( https://inclusionwoodworks.com )1: Safe, sane, consensual, and informed2: KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity3: “Submission is not about authority and it's not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young- “When Shouldn't You Participate in BDSM Play-S03E36”As we go through these remember:- Mayfair and I are NOT licensed mental health professionals as this is a psychology heavy episode.- Both Kuldrin and Mayfair have personal experience with several different types of mental illnesses and treat this topic with the utmost respect.- This is not a complete list and these are not the only reasons not to play.- Some of these are and others are not absolute reasons to play or not to play.- Physical Health Issues: Diabetes, Blood Pressure, M.S., Blood Clotting Issues, Fibromyalgia, Strokes, Breathing issues, ...- Mental Health Issues:- Anxiety disorders, Behavioural and emotional disorders in children, Bipolar affective disorder, Depression, Dissociation and dissociative disorders, Eating disorders, Obsessive-compulsive disorder, Paranoia, Post-traumatic stress disorder, Psychosis, and Schizophrenia https://kuldrinskrypt.com/MentalHealthDisorders - Personality Disorders listed in the DSM-V https://kuldrinskrypt.com/PersonalityDisorders: Paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, antisocial, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive - Mood Disorders: Major Depression, Mania, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia, - Personality Vs Mood: The key difference between personality and mood disorders are the symptom patterns they cause. The main feature of mood disorders is periods of emotional highs and/or lows. Some personality disorders can cause mood swings, but this isn't the main symptom of personality disorders. (https://www.promisesbehavioralhealth.com/addiction-recovery-blog/difference-between-personality-disorder-and-mood-disorder/) - Intoxication: Alcohol, Drugs, Top/Dom/bottom/sub/primal Space- Anger, Resentment, and Guilt! OH MY!!!- Concern about losing control.- A lack of communication.- You don't want to play.Important Links:Full show notes: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/336National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic Show Producers:- Benefactor ($2,000/month): - Pro Producer ($100/month): Buffalo_Max92- Master Producer ($50/month): - Executive Producer ($25/month) ShadowyFox, JunicornsAngel, Johnny Ferrell, Haru Webb, Rei Webb, slave Brendan, and Just_Call_Me_Ash- Sr. Producers ($10/month): xEmeraldxWolfx, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, RoxieBear, Trouble113, Alexandria, babylove&Sir, SortOutTheKinks, Master Gabriel, Daddy Steve, Sir Pent, KJ, TwistedTink&JustTommy, ArtKitten, AuthorMistressBlackrose, UpstateScCouple, Crystal Force, CJ, Cali, PerfectlyThick, Thorn, Toredon, Cap'n J, BxB, Saviy, Lilred rose, and AK Rich- Producers ($5/month): Kainsin, CIVLdisobedience, Hadea, Lily, Sir&Kitten, Raven, Raider69time, Atsila, MBRpoodle, LylacWine, Baddogbad, CozyCow, Arctic Foxglove, Anomalous Mats, MsRedSin & AJRJ, Katnipmeow, WyldThyme&Deacon Sean, CheeryQuery, Ropestuff2, Rabbit, BurningRedHot, Sir Wolf ArchAngel, Subx13, CourtsDom, Anthony, Gator, Gizmo, and Ataleena- Jr. Producers ($1/month): K-2SO, Jeremiah, Morgana13, Brodie, The Gabbing Girl Time Podcast, and LexaBecome a show producer: https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/PatreonVendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)- http://bdsmcontracts.org Coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.- http://whippingstripes.com - My personal maker of most things leather and paracord impact toys.- https://www.etsy.com/shop/TorridTimber - Fine fetish furniture and accessories- https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheCraftyHedonist - Tink's Toys Fb Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2350280868612699 Fetlife Profile: https://fetlife.com/users/9885653?sp=3 *coupon for listeners (first purchase only) TinksToys13- Dark Delights Shops: https://darkdelightsshop.com/ (Watch my product review of them: https://kuldrinskrypt.com/DarkDelightsShop)Contact info:Email: MasterKuldrin@gmail.comFetlife Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/159275Fb: Kuldrin Fire https://www.facebook.com/kuldrin.fireTwitter: @MasterKuldrin https://twitter.com/MasterKuldrinInstagram: masterkuldrin https://www.instagram.com/masterkuldrin/Patreon: kuldrinskrypt https://www.patreon.com/KuldrinsKrypthttp://kuldrinskrypt.com/contactresource
Boundaries are essential for healthy and strong relationships. Setting appropriate boundaries engages our self-respect and also protects the relationship from destructive feelings such as resentment, anger, and frustration. Today we are digging a little deeper into what boundaries are, how to set them, and why they can sometimes feel so tricky.
I have been struggling with the emotion of resentment lately. If you've been following along, you know that I returned to full on clinical medicine recently and it has brought some things up for me. Listen as I share a bit more and then give my tips for approaching your own resentment. This is something I've been working through with my therapist, and it struck me one day when she said, “Man. You really hold onto things.” It's true. I do. I have some deep seeded issues with resentment and I hold onto them tight. So now, I've been working to recognize when I feel resentful, have someone on hand to validate my hurt, spend more time focusing on self compassion, and naming and finding my core values in every situation. More importantly, I'm learning how to stop repressing my resentment. I've been more mindful about figuring out the triggers for my resentment as well. We all have a choice. We can choose to hold on or we can choose to let go. As I practice with little moments, I'm getting closer and closer to being able to let go. How about you? Do you struggle with resentment? Let me know if these tips help! “Time heals all wounds, but sometimes it's the one ingredient we don't have.” Dr. Errin Weisman In this episode: [01:54] Today we are talking about resentment. [03:28] I really hold on to resentment and for me, it's a mix of disappointment, anger, fear, and pain. [05:16] I share a definition of resentment that I find very appropriate. [07:33] Tip #1 - Recognize when I feel resentment. [09:18] Tip #2 - Have someone to help validate my hurt. [10:48] Tip #3 - Have self-compassion. [11:32] Tip #4 - Name and find my core values in situations when I have resentment. [13:44] Tip #5 - Don't repress it, don't react to it, have patience, and wait. [15:22] Tip #6 - Ask yourself what you are attached to that brings up resentment. [16:05] Tip #7 - Remember you have a choice. [17:01] Tip #8 - Practice with the little ones. [18:45] Thank you for listening! Links and Resources 3 WAYS TO GET INCREDIBLE HELP AT LOW-COST!!! Buy my Kindle Book,Doctor Me First, on Amazon Join us for our Monthly Burnout Masterclass Series. Sit with me in my Slack Channel. Schedule a call with Errin HERE Find out more about sponsoring an episode HERE Email Errin HERE
The new Netflix psychological thriller series "Squid Game" is intense and brutal — but it's also fiction. Why does it have such far-reaching impact around the world? Psychiatrist Jean Kim discusses the history of the Koreas and how it affects today's popular culture with The World's host Marco Werman.
The new Netflix psychological thriller series "Squid Game" is intense and brutal — but it's also fiction. Why does it have such far-reaching impact around the world? Psychiatrist Jean Kim discusses the history of the Koreas and how it affects today's popular culture with The World's host Marco Werman.
Feminine Faith - Part 12 "How To Let Go Of Fear, Anger & Resentment" With Rabbi Ari Sollish (Recorded live at the Intown Jewish Academy on January 8, 2012) Feminine Faith examines a mitzvah traditionally observed by women—Rosh Chodesh, the celebration of the New Moon, in which women rejoice by refraining from normal work. The Rebbe's profound text explores the unique gifts of the feminine—its connection to the undivided essence of G-d's reality in a way that transcends the masculine drive for mastery and control of nature's cause and effect. This discourse is a powerful meditation on the importance of the intuitive and the holistic and a sharp critique of the kind of mind that reduces the world and people to machines—the kind of mind that took power in the years after this was written and brought untold misery to millions, and to Jews especially.
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is a clinical psychologist, a relationship expert, a speaker and an author. After hearing Dr. Tracy on another podcast, I became fascinated with her work and have continued to follow along with her on Instagram and Facebook! This is an episode that will be relatable for women EVERYWHERE, even if you are not in the hockey lifestyle. In this episode we dive into: Resentment: In this lifestyle, we are uprooting our lives and we carry a lot of the mental load. Resentment is a feeling that can unfortunately creep in. Dr. Tracy addresses what resentment is, ways it can show up and how we can move through it. Acceptance- Finding acceptance within this lifestyle when you feel you have little or no control Long Distance- Little things we can do to strengthen our relationship when we are in a long distance relationship Attachment Styles- We chat about the four attachment styles. I took Dr. Tracy's attachment style quiz on her website and learned my attachment style and learned the attachment style of my husband. We talk about how to work through disagreements if your partner has a different attachment style than us. How your marriage shifts after having a baby & more! This episode is truly amazing. If you find yourself resonating with it, please share it to your story and tag the podcast! RESOURCES: Check out her website http://drtracyd.com/ Follow her on Instagram: www.instagram.com/drtracyd Check out her podcast! https://drtracyd.com/podcast/ Some upcoming workshops from Dr. Tracy https://drtracyd.mykajabi.com/resentment Subscribe Rate and Review Breaking the Ice on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/breaking-the-ice/id1514210846 Follow us on Instagram: www.instagram.com/breakingtheicepod
Over the last year, The Five Levels have been talked about in just about every episode of ours. So many of you have a pretty good idea of what they are and the purpose they serve within The J.U.S.T. Philosophy. However, we were recently asked if we had an episode that only focused on The Five Levels and we were shocked to realize that we have never actually recorded one with that intention. So here it is. An introduction to The Five Levels of Overall Wellness.Other Relevant Episodes:A Do-It-Yourself Guide for Your Self Development Journey Using The Pillarshttps://wisewhyspodcast.simplecast.com/episodes/a-diy-guide-for-your-self-development-journeyIntroduction to the 360 Degree View of Emotional Processinghttps://wisewhyspodcast.simplecast.com/episodes/introduction-to-the-360-degree-view-of-emotional-processingTaking A Look at Resentment and How it Can Affect Us on All Five Levelshttps://wisewhyspodcast.simplecast.com/episodes/taking-a-look-at-resentment-and-how-it-can-affect-us-on-all-five-levelsHow To Practice Spirituality While Doing the Internal Workhttps://wisewhyspodcast.simplecast.com/episodes/how-to-practice-spirituality-while-doing-the-internal-work
HOW TO STOP HOLDING A GRUDGE AND LET GO OF ANGER & RESENTMENT: Are you feeling bitter, holding grudges, or trapped in a loop of negative emotions when replaying the actions or words of other people in your mind over and over? Do you dream of getting even, getting revenge, or feel like your emotions are getting the best of you? Are you simply finding it impossible to forgive someone and move on? Today's episode is all about overcoming feeling resentful, and healing the hurt of this complex emotional reaction. We will discuss what resentment really is, some of the obvious and not so obvious causes, signs that we might be harboring resentment, the psychological underpinnings, the impact it has on our mental health, and of course, how to let go of resentment and begin to heal ourselves and our relationships and begin to forgive and forget. I truly hope you find it helpful and insightful.✧ If you haven't already, please subscribe to our channel where we cover all topics having to do with self-growth and emotional well-being such as anxiety relief and management, mindfulness, psychology, philosophy, personality theory, forgiving ourselves, overcoming procrastination, moving forward, positivity, self-care and acceptance, taking inspired action, mental health, living in the moment, motivation, cultivating joy and much more! Thanks so much for watching!
This episode is part 14 of our series on the spiritual component of health. Today, I tackle the sins of anger, resentment, and bitterness. 01:06 - Introduction 04:31 - Not all anger is sin 06:40 - Rage 07:06 - Resentment 09:24 - Bitterness 13:24 - Empathy helps up get over our hurts 14:05 - Comfort and forgiveness help us to overcome our hurts 14:32 - Summary David's book: "The Christian's Guide to Holistic Health" Study: Angry language on Twitter better predictor of heart disease than traditional lifestyle factors
When was the last time you noticed your anger? Was it when you exploded at one of your children? Was it when you lost your cool at work and said something you regretted later? Maybe you got angry, had a meltdown aimed at your partner, and then that nice evening you had planned turned into a nightmare? If any of these scenarios sound similar to an event in your life, you'd probably like to know how to harness that anger. When you get angry, do you justify it? Do you think, well, I had every right to get mad when that happened? I was right and the other person was asking like a jerk. Listen & Subscribe on: iTunes / Stitcher / Podbean / Overcast / Spotify Justifying Your Anger If you've been justifying your anger, you're like a lot of people. The fact is, it's not usually a good thing to explode at someone and lose your cool. For one thing, whether you realize it or not, losing your cool is a sign of weakness. It means you're out of control. You're not able to control the way you behave with other people. A lot of people talk about being in control of your emotions. I don't strive to be in control of my emotions, as much as I strive to be in control of how I react to my emotions. Your emotions are the body's way of letting you know that something isn't right. Something isn't sitting well with your body, heart and mind. Your Warning Lights It's a lot like the warning lights on your car. If something needs attention, the light comes on to give you a heads up. Maybe the windshield wiper fluid is low. Maybe the tires have lost some air pressure or maybe the engine is overheating. How are you going to react to any of those warnings? Are you going to explode at the first person you see? Are you going to get angry with the person at the lumber store that puts some bags of gravel into your trunk? Of course not. You're going to pay attention to what needs attention and then you're going to methodically go about making the situation right. Maybe you'll go to your mechanic and tell him the engine light has come on and so the engine may be overheating. He'll check it out and let you know what's going on. Angry And Not Sure Why? There have been times in my life when I got angry in response to my emotions, and didn't really even know why I was getting so mad at somebody. It turned out that I was upset about some random thing, and I took it out on one of the first people I came across. There were times when that person was my wife or a family member. Later I didn't feel good at all about losing my cool over something that didn't make sense. Do you notice a level of seething anger, somewhere below the surface of your consciousness? Does it show itself at random times, when it didn't really make sense to get so mad? Freedom A few months after I began to be a daily meditator, I started to experience a level of freedom that was new to me. It was freedom from myself. Freedom from my inner bully; those voices in my head that kept telling me I wasn't good enough, or I would be a failure, or I wouldn't be able to earn a living. Fortunately, I proved my inner bully wrong. I put myself through university by working three jobs. After graduation, I got a full-time job and saved my money so I could buy some income properties. Have you listened to your inner bully and been able to move forward in spite of those voices? Have you been able to create a life you love, in spite of the odds against you? Is Joy Missing? Or are you in a place right now where your anger is preventing you from enjoying your life? The anger you are experiencing is coming from fear, and that fear is coming from your inner bully. Like I said earlier, listen to your emotions, and then make the decision to push through anyway. If you have a carefully thought-out plan for your life, you're be able to gradually step towards your goals and while you're doing it, you'll enjoy the journey. You won't enjoy the journey all the time, but if you are motivated and have the determination you need, you'll move towards a life of joy, even if it seems slow. A lot of the time, it's the self-work we do that helps us stay on track, and gradually achieve success. Is anger stopping you from enjoying your life? Make the decision to keep mindfulness central in your life. Develop a daily practice of meditation and be determined to do the work that needs to be done, rather than pretending everything is fine, or covering up your emotions with alcohol, drugs, shopping, busyness, or something else. Suggested Resources Book: Feel Better In Five Minutes by Amanda Hainline Book: Don't Bite The Hook; Finding Freedom From Anger, Resentment, and Other Harmful Emotions by Pema Chodron App: Insight Timer Related Episodes 444 Live The Life You Love With Victim To Victor Author, Nick Santonastasso 386 Growing Grounded and Mindful with Sarah Bristow 130 Ditch Your Emotional Obesity and Deal With Your Anger Says Laura Coe Special Offer Are you stressed and frustrated? It's not hopeless. You can get through this. I'm Bruce Langford, a practicing hypnotist. I use hypnosis to fast-track people just like you to shed their inner bully and move forward with confidence. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. See me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with ‘MM Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a zoom call and talk about how you can move forward to a better life. Send me an email at email@example.com
In the second half of this story Jesus focuses on the older brother. You will either identify with the prodigal son or you will identify with the older brother, who didn't share his father's joy at his brother's return. In this message we'll look at the resentment, complaints and spirit of judgment from the older brother. God longs for a church where prodigal sons can come home, and people inside the church embrace them. Next Steps I will let go The post Find Freedom From Resentment appeared first on Blue Oaks Church - Pleasanton, CA.
I loved writing the Dividend Cafe for many years with a “jump around” approach, basically covering a wide array of topics that would enter my orbit of interest each week. I made a decision late last year to start writing “single topic” and to write the entire thing in “one sitting” – basically Friday mornings – so as to make it a more coherent and cohesive read. I do like it better that way, and the feedback I have gotten suggests you do too. Today is a little old school, which happens every once in a while when no singular topic is inspiring me. There are a number of things I want to look at today, from the Value/Growth discussion to the impact of debt on the economy to so much more. I did write it all in “one sitting” (yes, Friday morning – I am a serious creature of habit), but it covers a handful of different topics that entered my world this morning from a plethora of inspirations. So off we go into the Dividend Cafe, a read that will be well worth your while. Links mentioned in this episode: DividendCafe.com TheBahnsenGroup.com
In this episode, Neil responds to the many emails he received asking for more about Parental Guilt. Neil looks at the healthy functions of guilt as well as the unhealthy and destructive experience of guilt. He explains its sources and what can be done to reduce and heal unhealthy guilt.
In any relationship, even really good relationships, there are hurts that can build up and need to be forgiven if you want to grow your relationship into that next level of emotional closeness and connection. Today I'll cover the problems you have when you try to forgive, why it's good for you and my 5-step process to forgiving someone who hurt you. Full shownotes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-forgive-someone-who-hurt-you-in-5-steps-2/ Blog: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-forgive-someone-who-hurt-you-in-5-steps/ Sign up for my Forgiveness Master Class: https://abbymedcalf.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/6 ______________________________ Subscribe today to get my weekly thoughts, best practices and funny stories (you won't believe my life!). This weekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com/ For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won't Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my courses (some are free!): https://abbymedcalf.com/shop/ Say hello on social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/AbbyThriving LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving YouTube: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=AbbyMedcalfThriving
Boonie is SOLO this episode! Chatting about expectations versus reality. Why you should abandon all of the "should dos" and live the life you want! Support for today's episode comes from Dame Products - a brand is that its mission was to help close the pleasure gap for people with vulvas. Receive 10% off your purchase by using the code BOONIE10, shop here: http://bit.ly/BoonieDame Link to Psychology Today Article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cui-bono/201802/the-psychology-expectations The hashtag for the podcast #TheBoonieBreakdown. Share with others using the hashtag #PodIn. Join Boonie over on Patreon for exclusive content and events here: Patreon.com/TheBoonieBreakdown Have something to say? You can ask your questions, send comments via email to firstname.lastname@example.org or submit here: www.thebooniebreakdown.com/contact/. Follow The Boonie Breakdown on Social Media: IG: @TheBoonieBreakdown Twitter: @BoonieBreakdown Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheBoonieBreakdown
The only way you can live an authentic life is by being honest. Oftentimes, that honesty needs to start with yourself, before you can give that to anyone else.April Adams Pertuis interviews me on this episode and we talk about exactly how to live unapologetically by telling your TRUE storyWhat You Will Learn:How to Release Your Trauma and Live an Unapologetically Authentic LifeExtracting Your Authentic Story without Getting Lost in Your Past TraumaThe One Leadership Style that Creates Results without Resentment
Andy shares his bittersweet theme park experience with the gang. The boys discuss manscaping to a degree with which you'll probably be uncomfortable. And we all share what Fall means to us musically. Plus your great YAF Line calls at (626) 657-6428. Crowd up!
#WisdomWednesdays: How to Let Go of Resentment We're all different people with different belief systems, communication styles, and experiences in life. As such, disagreements in relationships are inevitable. But, when you come from a place of love and compassion, you can move past it and learn how to let go of resentment . It can be tricky, but it is necessary for a healthy relationship. The secret is taking a step back to check in with yourself and hold space for others. In today's episode, Rosie and Tessa talk about the importance of holding space in relationships. They recall some personal experiences that have proven the beauty of holding space for and honoring each other amidst disagreements and budding resentment. They also break down the feeling of resentment to better understand its root and how to turn it down. Tune in to this episode to discover the transformative power of holding space and releasing resentment in shaping a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: Find out a new approach in dealing with disagreements in relationships. Discover the beauty and importance of holding space for yourself and others. Learn how to let go of resentment. Resources Fierce Love: A Bold Path To Ferocious Courage And Rule-Breaking Kindness That Can Heal The World by Dr. Jacqui Lewis Maybe It's You: Cut The Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life. by Lauren Zander We'd love to get a listener on board the Wisdom Wednesday Podcast! Send us an email at email@example.com with the subject “Wisdom Wednesday” and tell us your name, contact information, and any topic or question you'd want to discuss. Create a daily meditation ritual in just seven days! Download BUILD YOUR DAILY MEDITATION RITUAL and other freebies from theRadically Loved website! FREE Action Guide! Apply the lessons you learn from this episode as you listen! Sign up at com, and I'll send it right away! Episode Highlights Tessa's Recent Trip to Germany Tessa just got back from a trip to Germany to visit her best friend. According to her, spending time with her best friend feels like home. What she loves about their friendship is the way it is radically honest and supportive. On Friendships Friendships are like romantic relationships in many ways. It's crucial to share openly, honor each other, and give some space for each other to grow. After getting sick from COVID, Rosie started to bring more intention to making time for her friends. She finds importance in nourishing her innermost circle of friends and family consistently. For this, voice notes come in handy. It can help you stay connected with friends and be an outlet for your feelings. Dealing with Disagreements There are instances when we're not ready to hear what someone has to tell us; we need to learn how to move past those. Tessa recalls her falling out with her best friend. She suddenly stopped talking to Tessa for two years. When they reconciled, it was hard for Tessa to accept how her best friend felt towards her. But she had to respect her experience and give her some space and time. For Tessa, leaving space for others and herself helps her deal with such mishaps. We all have different belief systems and processes. When it comes to disagreements, the best thing you can do is honor and respect someone's boundary out of love. In-Person Conversations vs. Text Conversations In-person conversations can better portray reactions and feelings. Conversing through text can be a challenge because things might get taken the wrong way. Regardless if it's a face-to-face or text conversation, Rosie reminds us that other people do not communicate the same way you do. You have to be open to receive how other people communicate so you can meet eye to eye. Communication Styles Tessa shares that she appreciates and finds safety in her partner's direct communication style. It is possible to be direct and compassionate at the same time. You can speak your truth from a place of love and compassion. How to Let Go of Resentment Rosie talks about her interview with Dr. Jacqui Lewis about speaking your truth but feeling resentment afterward. You might find discomfort in the space between what you want the outcome to be and what the outcome is, and this may draw resentment. Your resentment can come from premeditated expectations that are not met by someone else, and that's on you. There is so much give and take in a relationship. Discerning your expectations and being mindful of them can help you learn how to let go of resentment. Final Thoughts Resentment or disappointment in a relationship can come from a lost connection with yourself. Take a moment to see what's happening. We can be experts at finger-pointing at others. We also have to point fingers back at ourselves to see if we're the ones with a problem. Holding space for and honoring each other is essential in any relationship. 5 Powerful Quotes [10:51] “I lean towards giving the person space, and I approach that across the board with grieving someone's loss, or betrayal, or things with that nature.” [12:25] “One of the best definitions of loving someone to me is the whole concept of accepting all of who they are.” [24:07] “We have certain people in our lives that fulfill a certain role. And if they're not filling that role exactly how you want it, that's not on them. That's on you.” [25:23] “Expectations are premeditated resentments because you've lost sight of the connection with yourself.” [29:03] “If you don't leave room for the other, where does the light come in?” This episode is brought to you by Betterhelp: https://www.betterhelp.com/loved/ Get 10% OFF your first month (discount will be automatically applied with this link) BiOptimizers bioptimizers.com/radicallyloved Use Code: radicallyloved10 for 10% OFF your first purchase Blenders Eyewear www.blenderseyewear.com enter promo code: LOVEDVIP to get 15% off your Blenders purchase! Enjoy the Podcast? If you felt radically loved from listening to this podcast, subscribe and share it with the people you love! Love to give us 5 stars? If you do, we'd love a review from you. Help us reach more people and make them feel loved. Do you want to help others learn how to let go of resentment to have healthy relationships? A simple way is to share what you've learned today on social media. Don't forget to follow and message us on these platforms! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosieacosta/ Twitter: https::twitter.com/rosieacosta Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsrosieacosta To feeling radically loved, Rosie