Lyrical Laxatives

A special guest takes us home on the country roads while dropping some incredibly sweet Hamilton beats...This kids is funny and talented, and puts the rest of the Lyrical Laxative crew to shame while crushing this episode...give it up for the one, the only, Miles!!  

Pet peeves...we really get into them...but how did we end up talking about 'turtles'???Break out of your shell and brave this episode...yikes...

We solved so many issues during this episode...also nsfw...and, Bandz is all good...Hit play and get your listening membranes vibrating!

You're bored and decide to see what all these podcast things are about. You come across a colorful logo and a catchy name "Lyrical Laxatives" and say to yourself "That sounds nice", and eagerly press play...Five minutes into the episode, the four hosts start singing and butchering your favorite song. Do you -A) crank it up because of how hilarious their attempt is, and hope that it's sweat and tears dripping down your face and not blood from your ears?B) crank it up to drown out your f-bombs over how they've desecrated your favorite memories and tune, but keep listening because you're one of those people who likes to purposefully put pressure on a bruise making it "hurt so good!"

Lyrical laxatives does it again...alienates themselves from listeners with their "amazing" singing...but still managed to raise a small fortune for a great cause thanks to you, the incredibly brave and audibly abused listeners and supporters!If you're a glutton for punishment, what are you waiting for?!...hit play and get those eardrums pounded!

Are we smarter than a caveman? Perhaps...can we sound like one? most definitely! The Lyrical Laxative crew put the game "Poetry for Neanderthals to the test...or is it the game putting them to the test? Either way, A-lu-mi-num is not going to be one syllable...find out what that means by suffering through some single syllable sentences from the Lyrical Laxative foursome, while they try avoid some outrageous and sometimes funny punishments. See you when you take pill to make thing flow good kick in!

This classy episode is shocking  beyond belief...you can blame the person who allowed us to get our hands on a TENS machine...answering trivia has never been so stimulating! Disclaimer - there is screaming, crying and at some point, whatever the noise is that comes out of Mike...you've been warned - we take no responsibility for the damage that this causes to your ears or your mental state! See you when the transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation kicks in!

80's week Part 2...Lyrical Laxatives continues to try and drop 80's knowledge while covering Movies, Music, Commercials and more...hopefully you survived through the first episode, unlike the first person introduced on a "Murder She Wrote" episode...Anyway - You never know what's right or wrong, what's based on fact and what's based on shoddy memories...but you're guaranteed to be blowing chunks from their awful musical renditions of the 80's hits...Get ready for another gnarly episode!

80's week Part 1...Lyrical Laxatives tries to drop 80's knowledge while covering Movies, Music, Commercials and more...stay tuned - you never know what's right or wrong, what's based on fact and what's based on shoddy memories...but you're guaranteed to be blowing chunks from their awful musical renditions of the 80's hits...Get ready for a gnarly episode!

We celebrate our 1,000th download, we introduce 'Lyrics or Laxatives', and we ruin a bunch of songs...forever!

The topic was Seis de Mayo, but we engaged Lyrics or Laxatives, and what happened next was entirely out of our control - so we need to apologize to each and everyone one of your ear-holes!We did resolve the age old question about Africa knowing it's Christmas...maybe...it's hard to tell...

It was Lyrical Laxatives Live member Mel's birthday (say that fast 10 times!)...we had an awesome celebrity join us, great discussions on the days celebratory events, and we destroyed a few songs along the way...we also found out that there is a 3 hour limit to live recordings, so we apologise for the abrupt cut-off just as we were getting into an exciting discussion on mycology.

Mel, E, Mike and John discuss dooms day prepping, and their lack of preparation and short lived survivability. After some great discussions with listeners, Mel drops a life-hack that we may all 'knead' some day, and all you need is a loaf of bread. And we round out the show with some beautiful tunes straight outta' India. It's certainly not all doom and gloom!

More games, more talks, more everything...but the big question of the day: Is "Maybe" a question?

* Disclaimer * - An extreme NSFW "Would You Rather?" is dropped early this episode...cover those listen holes with some earmuffs for the first 15 minutes!Once you've recovered from the cringe, join us for a listen and learn - we offer up some nuggets of knowledge about the four of us...then, sandwiched between a couple of wild and hilarious word games, we're lucky enough to have Mason join us for another professionally read story-time (written by Mel).See you when the laxatives kick in!

Would you rather listen to Batman, or would you rather listen to Batman on Lyrical Laxative Live? It's a trick question...you definitely want to listen to Batman on Lyrical Laxative playing "Would you rather?"...your ear holes will thank you for it!Watch out for that bat-a-wang!!

Join us to hear Mike bust out some Purple Rain...on second thought...be warned of Mikes rendition of Purple Rain, but stick around for some side-busting laughs when we break out our awesome accents for another NSFW game night... 

Hot off the episode with our first ever story-time with Mason - we took it down a notch...then punched those nipples all the way to 11 with guests galore...Special thanks to all our listeners and callers for making this whole adventure even more exciting...drop in some time and fill your ears with sweet, sweet sounds of lyrical laxatives!

Mason joins us on this exciting and hilarious episode, reading one of Mel's Medium masterpieces. After wiping away the tears, the Lyrical Laxative four attempt to assimilate accents with the game "Utter Nonsense"...Mike musters a mediocre Arnold Schwarzenegger, John repetitively replicates a robot, and Mel and E take turns crushing the competition...Lap up the laughter with Lyrical Laxatives Live! 

Just mike, John and Mel on this one, with E joining by phone for a short while...this one is packed with precious stories, including bad first dates and the Johnny Ponny origin story... 

Now with audience participation! Mike and John are Joined by Mel and (E/Elizabeth/Liz/Brady) to launch the Lyrical Laxatives Live series...

Lyrical Laxative Live with special guests Ayden (and Ruby)...We invited Ayden onto the podcast to help celebrate her birthday during quarantine, and used the opportunity to get a little perspective into how they feel quarantine has impacted their lives so far.

The ladies of Lyrical Laxative lend their voices to another episode - this one covers dream vacations...This is also the contest closing episode. After digging through 'dozens' of entries, we have found our winners and will be contacting them through email - thank you all for your entries...

Not cow tipping...people tipping...generally for services rendered...John makes fun of Mikes excitement over an awesome shout out and Mike struggles with the hardest question of his life before the guys jump into a rich conversation on tipping etiquette...but without giving too much away, here's a tip for you, listeners... stick around for the exciting announcement within the episode...There are two prizes up for grabs until the next episode is released...get listening and get winning! But don't despair if you aren't the winner - there's always the consolation prize of a swift punch to the nipples!

Size does matter...especially if you're squeezing more than you should into the space that's available. "Big old party pouch" kicks off sizable topic while "The beached whale" tries to figure out just how big these tiny houses are...This one is goes out to all the ants - prepare your subgenual organs for the sweet vibrations from the lads of Lyrical Laxatives!

John and Mike have special guests Melanie and Elizabeth join them on this episode of Lyrical Laxatives...the discussion starts off reasonably, focusing on the feasibility and possibility of the four of them growing crops and animals and dancing naked around a fire (only on Fridays), but quickly takes a turn for the worse as chicken nipples become a thing..."You guys! are we *REALLY* discussing this???"Yes Mel, they are...they can't hold back once the laxatives have kicked in!

After struggling with all the money in the world, Mike and John do the Tik Tok talk...renegade, renegade, renegade...then they jump into squeezing nipples and struggling with you-knows and hiccups...John stammers along with slurred speech as Mike pines over podcaster Joe "The Horror" Lewis...it all wraps up nicely with shaved balls...Hit the whoa! 

John and Mike deep dive into Disney...this discussion isn't Coronavirus free, but not much is these days. Warning - some actual research was done on this one so done be surprised if your ear-holes feed your brain with knowledge.Let the laxatives lyrically lick you lovely listening lobes...

During this episode, Mike and John discuss the best concerts they've ever been to...as usual, there's a lot more to it - it's not just about the music...it's about the chicken wings, Tom Petty's sweat, the "Middy Middy Boz-tones" and external influences. But before you enjoy the acoustic analysis of what makes a concert memorable, make sure you've bagged some extra time to listen as John stokes Mikes red beard rage over 5c bags...Enjoy the "15th episode of March"...it's really only the 14th episode and with the laxative effect in full swing, it's surprising Mike and John even knew it was March!

Unless you've been living under a rock (probably the best place to be right now), you may have heard of something called the Coronavirus or the illness Covid-19. If so, it's important to understand that 1 out of 87,352 doctors (not necessarily medical) recommend that you put down that toilet paper and over priced surgical masks, wash your hands thoroughly for 20 seconds, throw on some comfy pj's and gather around the radiophone (in groups of up to 10 at most) to hear John and Mike dive deep into the facts* of this world wide pandemic...Whatever you do, don't panic, stay calm, keep your hands and ear-holes clean and dry, and most importantly, don't gargle with bleach!* the facts may actually be a collection of stretched half truths from disreputable sources.

How would you potato? Mike and John peel away the complexities of this question before nerding it up with a very informative discussion about the best video games. Get ready to reach the next level as the guys mash your ear holes - this episode is all fun and games.

This episode covers a disclaimer from John and Mike about the things they say - They're not trying to be jerks, but if they come across as jerks, then let them know! Luckily their viewpoints differ enough from each other that there is usually a good jerk and a bad jerk...it's up to you to decide who is who...Mike discusses his recent visit to Arizona - you might need an extra seat belt while you strap yourself in for this discussion...and once again, John proves that statements can be taken as true when said with confidence and force...even if they're completely untrue...(it's 500 miles, John!)Get ready to exercise your ear-holes!Our website: https://lyricallaxatives.wixsite.com/lyricallaxatives-1

John and Mike, two hosts of a podcast dedicated to discussing things they barely know, slowly tapping into vast stores of (questionable) knowledge gained from drinking during the show, have a whale of a time discussing some of their drunk stories (the one's they can remember).Here are some of the great memories you'll learn about...Giant miceBeached whalesPhil ScrewdriverThe cause of Mikes water fearsFights in CanadaGentlemen's clubsJohn terrorizes a defenseless cyclistMike's fallen and he can't get upThe StationJohn, the beer spongeMike's cooterBut why are you still reading this, it's all in the podcast - give it a listen...See you when the laxatives kick in!

What are we doing? ... crumby beer reviews of course! (you'll have to listen to find out if the beer or the review is crumby)What you won't find on this podcast episode -IPA's...sorry, not sorry...big wordsvast insightful beer knowledgeincoherent speech (although it is setting in)Burps (they were edited out)What you will find - Mike and JohnThe following beers:Banana Bread Beer - Eagle Brewery - UK - 5.2%Original Ritterguts Gose - Ritterguts Gose GmbH - Germany - 4.7%Cristal - Union de Cervecerias Peruanas  Backus Y Johnston S.A.A. - Peru - 4.6%K-O Brand Blond Ale - De Proef Brewery - Belgium - 10%Ace Pineapple Craft Cider - California Cider Company - CA, US - 5%Tanker Truck Rose Gose - Two Roads Brewing Co - CT, US - 4.8%Crabbie's Spiced Orange Alcoholic Ginger Beer - Halewood International Ltd - 4.8%The laxative effectBottoms up!

Mike and John are on a roll as they tear apart an age old argument, sheet by sheet...This topic covers a lot of sh!t, probably due to the laxatives that have clearly kicked in...Over or Under - which side are you on? Then, after wiping out a good deal of time discussing the lower half and after a brief inaccurate recollection (on John's behalf as usual) about who their kids are named after, they head north, sinking their incoherent thoughts deep into the Alaskan wilds - focusing intensely on the Iditarod.All points discussed are purely the opinions of Mike and John, and are highly influenced by beer and wine - not even good beer and wine - so if statements made sound convincing and confident, use your own judgment - neither of them have been to Alaska, so what do they truly know?

John and Mike passionately discuss the value of a college education. They use hard-hitting *facts like apple pie moonshine, carnal knowledge and purple drank - and believe it or not, they actually stay on topic for the entire episode. You'll be introduced to Bobby Baseball, the overpaid baseball great, as well as Jebediah Joseph, Ebenezer and his two sons Josiah Jeremiah and the other Ezekiel, and even Simon Cray, who were all invaluable contributors to the telling of the stories of 1812.*facts may be skewed by copious amounts of alcohol.

Mike and John passionately discuss cars and dogs...this is better than the last one, folks! If you're looking for valuable life lessons to survive the inevitable robot overlords of the future, or you want to lightly tickle your ear-bone listening to a brief political impression, then you've come to the right place...Sit back and let the laxatives kick in!

John once again "exudes" confidence with his "exemplary" argumentative skills...struggling to convey the source of his distaste for Reality shows. Mike's frustration's grow to a point never before heard on this podcast channel...01:00 Random word03:49 No laughing matter on this topic - Sitcoms12:06 A Shameless discussion14:10 Back to reality27:56 Sports31:18 House Hunters37:29 A vicious Circle42:23 American Idol51:41 Sports according to John53:15 Jimmy Edwards...who?55:02 Super drunk hiccup1:07:00 We finally come to our senses 

We are at it again! This episode we discuss the merit of mobile games and fortnite. Mike almost dies doing a shot which leads into NSFW medical stories. John goes car shopping and ends up with chicken wings. 00:53 word of the day06:46 topic wheel07:10 mobile phone games 10:26 drunk hiccups 14:20 spice girls 15:48 fortnite21:34 podcasting23:11 goggy 23:57 back to podcasting 27:59 mikes drinking issues 30:28 story time with Mike 51:11 everyone gets a car52:41 chicken wings 58:40 beer games

John struggles with memory loss and Mike discusses the topic without covering the topic...03:04 Weird word of the day05:44 Topic pick!07:07 Finns Antics09:24 Wife-fight!15:04 f$#king bunny!18:41 Mama Mel-o-drama19:46 Bathroom Breaks24:03 Family ties28:58 Marketing interlude31:44 What up, Dan?34:13 High School Electives...f$#k that topic...36:53 Reno and Barstool39:48 ...High School Electives…College Lawn games45:35 John struggles with famous american runners54:07 Mike takes his rage out on studio equipment54:53 Dranks!55:40 Trench coats(Studio equipment was hurt during the making of this podcast)

John and Mike travelled to Tshikwalo Lodge in South Africa, just outside of Pretoria...it was a wild adventure even before the animals entered the picture.2:14 Menlyn Park Mall - may or may not be the largest shopping labyrinth in the southern hemisphere... 4:39 Melissa Joan Hart (apparently)9:33 Our room - a split decision15:47 Surprise!20:32 Stuck in the mud27:45 The gift that keeps giving34:11 Drunk hiccups38:27 Pretoria44:14 John thinks he knows what a panhandler is...47:59 That amazingly significant monument to humankind named something something51:08 exit rows aren't comfortable56:06 JFK Rage(No animals were hurt and would never be hurt during the making of the story that influenced this episode)

The topic is "Words" - they're useful and important, but trying to use them correctly can be difficult. Mike and John discus this and somehow end up comparing online shopping to local sellers. We can't make this stuff up...actually...we can...and we are by no means experts. Some things you might learn from this episode:reading is goodyou should keep your ear holes cleanMike struggles to fix his lawnmower...oftenSee you when the laxatives kick in!

Lyrical Laxatives - Talk that flows naturally"What are we doing?"...Mike and John stumble through the initial promo, discussing the future of Lyrical Laxatives. See you when the laxatives kick in...