Basic Pitches

Matthew joins James to describe the weird noise he makes during MMA practice, why Jack Bauer provided the background to his early shagging and he also has an epic crime drama he wants the world to hear about. Recorded in LD so my audio quality is wretched but the important thing is Matthew sounds glorious. 

Writer, Presenter & Comedian Jake Yapp meets James to pitch his movie about petrifying 1970's Celebrity Chef Fanny Cradock. We try to resurrect his flat-gardening-show for BBC3 and why Weddings are in breach of basic Human Rights. It's all here on BAAASSIIIC PIITCCCHES (*end of episode theme tune style)

Sean joins James to pitch his 'Herbie' reboot, where the loveable VW Beetle is dragged through the courts in an epic custody battle drama. In the process his own brush with Hollywood comes up, along with unusual washing up methods, tradesmen anxiety and why he can never say his wife's name out loud... 

Tez joins James to discuss his new stand-up special TEZTIFY. He also chats Millican's Law, the only thing worse than a heckler & why stealing the Kohinoor Diamond would make the best heist movie!

Heat Magazine's Boyd Hilton joins James to pitch a reboot of an iconic British movie franchise, this time starring Lawrence Fox's penis (in a box). We also debate the greatest film of the decade and re-live Boyds epic Desert Island Discs shout out from Russell T Davies. 

Vittorio joins James to talk comedian hair cuts, ex-girlfriend anxiety, threesome offers & comedian 5-a-side. But his main reason for the meeting is to pitch his Paintball gun thriller set in an apocalyptic London. 

In a break from tradition, Film Critic & broadcasting legend James King joins James Sloan to pitch his new movie about 1970’s British comedians brought back from the dead to save the world & there tattered reputations. We also discuss James King’s friendship with Hollywood star Stephen Merchant, find out which 80’s erotic thriller improved his Uni sex-life and why Jake Gyllenhaal loves Christmas present interview games!

The musical comic joins James for a HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. Pitching her spooky but tender Dracula movie about a young Drac's taste for curry sauce, in Scarborough. We also hear her Netflix song, we have a moody jam on the piano and hear Charlotte's finale tune written specifically for the soundtrack. FANGS VERY MUCH for listening! 

Sian joins James to discuss working class comedy, queer comedy, why Fleabag wasn't for her and she pitches her murder mystery movie set in a department store. It stars not one but two British legends and a character called "ham hands". FilmFour or Working Title to produce with an eye for a domestic sleeper hit September 2021.  

Impersonator, comedian and puppeteer Luke Kempner joins James to pitch three amazing films, including a Snooker movie, his Pianist remake and a straight to DVD Love Island horror. All could be made but which one will be chosen?? (it's in the file name so that's obvious). Impressions include: Alan CarrArsene WengerHarry KaneDavid AttenboroughLouis Theroux Tommy FuryAND MANY MORE!!!

Masud joins James to try and get funding for his cop thriller Dark Menorca starring Benicio Del Toro. Bonus features: Jason Statham trailer commentary & Masud's experience appearing in the $200m flop PAN.

Emily joins James to discuss kids names, Keira Knightley and pitches her ALL WHITE MALE-LED sci-fi blockbuster 'No Matter' about Avatar people living on Earth. Budget $50m. Also, thanks to Song-Switch for sponsoring this weeks episode.

Sunil pitches his brand new $200m franchise about animals being allowed to participate in the Olympics, including Wrestling Rhino's, Track'n'Field Snakes & Rugby playing Cats. There's also a call to a radio station & a new episode sponsor)

Comedian & movie buff Glenn Moore joins to James to pitch his horror film about an eight foot chef chasing him in the desert. Includes a brand new sponsor & a trailer exclusive for new Rom-Com "Opposites Attack"

Impersonator Josh joins James to pitch his Andy Murray Musical, featuring Louis Theroux, Gordon Ramsay, James Acaster, Prince Harry and of course Andy Murray!

Alexandria joins James to talk dick pics, writing to the author of Fifty Shades & then pitches her feminist High School movie (with horses & Jodie Comer)

Lou Sanders joins James to talk attraction, swat-comedians, intrusive thoughts & wanting to have movie-sex over in a graveyard with Adam Driver

Daniel Cook believes a movie starring a wrestler, a reality star and Gary Barlow can unlock billions in box office success. 

Star of The Luke McQueen Pilots on the BBC, Luke McQueen pitches two films: The Time Travelling Comedian and Get Me My Money Man (Disclaimer: The convo will make more sense if you've seen his show)

Jack Barry welcomes me into his flat to discuss his movie idea about Oxford scholar John Allegro, a man who thought Jesus was the result of a magic mushroom hallucination. Danny Dyer features. 

Welcome to Basic Pitches, a weekly podcast where a comedian pitches a genius film idea to my production company Beta-Male-Movies.