Podcasts about Fifty Shades

Devon shares his experience on the planet Eternia and the stomach virus he caught while visiting as Sejohn opens up about his exploration into the ever growing acceptance of Slop content on the internet. They both let some negativity flow from them as they admit their feelings about the current state of the world but are able to reel it in by the end with a discussion about their wins with video games and the things that were able to focus on that helped joy shine through. 

Join me for a break down of Chapter 29 of Midnight Sun, 'Inevitability', in which Bella wakes up in an apologetic mood, Renee cleans the fridge, and Edward lays the groundwork for a messy breakup.... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has to call an election before October 27. But as war with Iran and Hezbollah in Lebanon drags on, his popularity is tanking. Even US President Donald Trump has reportedly called him "effing crazy" over his aggressive military stance.Israeli journalist and commentator Nadav Eyal joins Geraldine Doogue and Latika Bourke to talk about the domestic storm leading up to the "Fifty Shades of Right Wing" election; whether Netanyahu's two challengers, Naftali Bennett and Gadi Eisenkot, can dethrone him; and what it means for the future of the US relationship. Guests: Nadav Eyal, journalist and senior scholar at Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs.Get in touch:We'd love to hear from you! Email us at global.roaming@abc.net.auFind all the episodes of Global Roaming now via the ABC Listen App or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Al & Val strap on their glass Doc Martins and go down the rabbit hole for this time travel-y installment of the Descendents-verse.Also, don't miss us IN PERSON with Stu Krieger at iO Theater on June 17th, 2026. Get your Tickets Descendents: Rise of Red (July 12, 2024) IMDB WikipediaDirected by Jennifer Phang (tv credits - Rise of Red TV show)Written by Josann McGibbon & Sara Parriott (Runaway Bride, Descendents 1-5) & Dan Frey (Rise of Red TV show)Starring: Kylie Cantrall as Red (Gabby Duran & The Unsittables, music videos, HSMTMTS, Rise of Red show)Malia Baker as Chloe Charming (Babysitters Club, Rise of Red show)China Anne McClain as Uma (A.N.T. Farm, How to Build a Better Boy, Descendants-verse, Black Lightening, House of Payne)Dara Reneé as Uliana (Freaky Friday, HSMTMTS, Rise of Red show)Rita Ora as the Queen of Hearts of Wonderland (music videos, Fifty Shades of Grey, Southpaw, Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight, Rise of Red show) Ruby Rose Turner as Bridget, the young Queen of Hearts (Coop and Cami Ask the World, Eden, Rise of Red show)Brandy as Cinderella (music videos, Cinderella, Moesha, The Game, Star, Rise of Red show, The Front Room, I Know What You Did Last Summer)Morgan Dudley as Ella, the young Cinderella (The Prom, Rise of Red show)Joshua Colley as the young Hook (Peter Rabbit, Dead Boy Detectives, Rise of Red show, Moonburn)Peder Lindell as Morgie (Rise of Red show, Hidden Falls)Paolo Montalban as King Charming (Cinderella, Mortal Combat: Conquest, Rise of Red show)Tristan Padil as young Prince Charming (Rise of Red show)Melanie Paxson as Fairy Godmother (Happy Family, Notes from the Underbelly, Saving Mr. Banks, Descendants 1-5)Grace Narducci as Fay, the young Fairy Godmother (character actor - Rise of Red show)Levin Valayil as Aladdin (Rise of Red show)Kabir Bery as young Aladdin (Rise of Red show)Shazia Pascal as Jasmine (music videos, Rise of Red show, Get Him Back for Christmas)Aiza Azaar as young Jasmine (Rise of Red show)Jeremy Swift as Merlin (The Smoking Room, Downton Abbey, Ted Lasso, Rise of Red show)Leonardo Nam as Maddox Hatter (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, FATF: Tokyo Drift, Westworld, Maggie, Rise of Red show)Mars as young Maleficent (Rise of Red show)Anthony Pyatt as young Hades (Rise of Red show)Julee Cerda as Evil Stepmother (character actor, Blindspot, Mighty Ducks: Game Changers, Rise of Red show)Synopsis: After the Queen of Hearts incites a coup on Auradon, her rebellious daughter Red and Cinderella's perfectionist daughter Chloe join forces and travel back in time to try to undo the traumatic event that set Red's mother down her villainous path.Fun Facts: Brandy and Paolo Montalban reprised their roles from 1997's CinderellaNext Movie: Zombies 4: Rise of the VampiresCreators & Guests Allie Ring - Host Val Agnew - Host ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

A retired Alaska cop, Doug Fifer has drawn on his years of experience to write an expose of some of the most perverse sexual crimes he has encounterd. This is for mature audiences only! #podmatch #bestiality #pizza #csisvu #anchorage #truecrime #nonfiction #interrogationDoug Fifer Officialhttps://dougfifer.com/50 Shades of True Crime on Amazonhttps://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-T...Yeah Uh Huh Social Stuff:Yeah Uh Huh on Linktr.eehttps://linktr.ee/yeahuhhuhpodYeah Uh Huh on TikTok  / yeahuhhuhpod  Yeah Uh Huh on Facebook  / yeahuhhuhpod  Yeah Uh Huh on Twitter  / yeahuhhuhpod  Yeah Uh Huh on Spotifyhttps://open.spotify.com/show/7pS9l71...Yeah Uh Huh on Apple Podcastshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...Yeah Uh Huh Website:https://yeah-uh-huh.wixsite.com/yeahu...Yeah Uh Huh WebsiteHome | YeahUhHuhPod (yeah-uh-huh.wixsite.com)Yeah-Uh-Huh on YoutubeYeah Uh-Huh -YouTubeYeah Uh Huh on Apple Podcastshttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...

In this episode of 50 Shades of Green, hosts Adam and Katie chat with Cecilia Brenner, Managing Director of Design for Good, about how design skills are being mobilized globally to tackle the UN Sustainable Development Goals. Design for Good is a global non-profit that convenes a global alliance of companies, design schools and NGOs to co-create open-source solutions for real community problems. Cecilia explains their two-year SDG cycles (past: clean water & sanitation; current: quality education; upcoming: people and planet health combining SDGs 3 & 13), and how local NGOs provide briefs and community access while volunteer designers form cross-functional task forces to prototype, validate and implement solutions.Key themes:Open-source approach: How alliance members waive IP so solutions can be adapted and scaled, shifting from ownership to shared impact.Practical impact: Learning about campaigns like a water-saving social media initiative which reached millions;Design practices: How they co-design with communities, systems thinking, life-centered and regenerative design, and treating climate impacts as design constraints rather than afterthoughts.Capacity-building: Updates of how a partnership with the Royal College of Art and the Design for Good Academy has trained over 1,200 designers to design for measurable impact, including sustainability and AI ethics topics.Scale and ambition: Find out how over 2,000 designers mobilized across 30 countries with a goal to improve 10 million lives and help regenerate the planet by 2030. You can find out more about Design for Good here: https://www.designforgood.org/Fifty Shades of Green is produced by Climate Group North America and recorded in New York City. Climate Group is a non-profit with a global impact. You can support this podcast and our wider work here: https://support.theclimategroup.org/give/280085/#!/donation/checkout Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Toasted, Tom and Beth dive back into the wonderful world of Abi Clarke's shopping history.Among the topics under the toaster grill this week:Why Beth read all three Fifty Shades of Grey books (and the very specific reason she kept turning the pages…)The increasingly disturbing idea of making cakes in the shape of peopleThe listener whose secret Fifty Shades collection was accidentally discovered by her daughterHidden rubber ducks, party games and why every gathering should involve a ridiculous challengeThe brilliance of Ransom Notes and the world's easiest literary party gameThe great gilet vs gilet pronunciation debate that's possibly not even a debateEurovision super-fans and their elaborate voting conspiraciesAnd finally… the delicate question of How To Poo On A Date Products Mentioned This Week50 Shades of GreyRubber Ducks!Cake Moulds in the Shape of Human Hearts & BrainsHow To Poo On A DateRansom Notes Party GameAnthony Horowitz – A Deadly EpisodeGot a story, confession, disaster, pronunciation argument or terrible cake creation of your own?

Join me for a break down of Chapter 28 of Midnight Sun, 'Three Conversations', in which there are more like seven conversations, Edward broods for a change, and Renee seems like a lot... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send Us an Email to Chat!This week we celebrate the end of Mayrotica with 2015's Fifty Shades of Grey and 1991's Intimate Strangers, and no one had a good time. We do fawn all over the new horror masterpiece Obsession. Plus, David says farewell for the next month. We all cry. Follow us on Instagram:@Gaspatchojones@Homewreckingwhore@The_Miseducation_of_DandG_Pod@QualityHoegramming@MullhollanddazeSupport the show

Lisa Rusczyk and Dona Murphy interview Dr. Stephen about his memoir of his fourth marriage and how it changed him to realizing an important thing - why bad things might happen.Want to know more about Dr. Stephen?Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards is an international speaker and author holding a PhD in Spiritual Counseling. Born in Blackpool, UK, and currently based in Florida, he focuses his work on love, transformation, and the mind-body-spirit connection.About the Book:The Venus Fly Trap is a non-fiction work based on the true story of a high-stakes, intense relationship between a wealthy English businessman and a former international supermodel heiress.Themes: The narrative explores the intersection of pleasure, power, and pain, detailing how a relationship can spiral from luxury settings into obsession, betrayal, and chaos.Style: The book is described as a raw, fearless, and unfiltered exploration of human nature, intended to help readers embrace flaws and release shame.Reception: Early readers have compared the book to works like Fifty Shades and Gone Girl, noting its intense emotional ride and focus on the psychology of addictive relationships.Relationships: Why people remain in unhealthy partnerships, how to distinguish real love from emotional dependency, and how to rebuild self-worth after toxic experiences.Mental Health: Insights into the "spectrum of insanity," breaking free from shame, and the importance of vulnerability.Societal Issues: Exploring the new sexual revolution and the lessons learned from love, chaos, and personal transformation.Thank you for watching and listening.

Toasters we are BACK with another romp through someone's online shopping history. It's really the only way to tell a life story, you know.

Join me for a breakdown of Chapters 26 and 27 of Midnight Sun, 'Blood' and 'Chores', in which Edward sucks, Alice runs errands, and Emmett is upset it all got resolved so easily... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bible experts have long been confused as to why the chapters at the end of the Book of Ezekiel go into such granular detail about a building which, over 2500 years later, has yet to be constructed.It's one of the marvels of the Bible, and sits surprisingly comfortably in a book that has a man lie on one side for over a year, who is ordered to cook on a fire made from his own poo, whose wife is killed to make a point about the fall of Jerusalem, who describes women so debauched that it puts Fifty Shades of Grey in the shade, oh, and who sees the kneebone connected to the thighbone. I'm actually sad we're getting to the end of Ezekiel's book, and I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am.Written and produced by Chas BayfieldMusic by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins MusicCover art by Lisa GoffE: contact@whollybuyable.comX: Wholly Buyable PodcastConversions9in = 23cm21in = 53cm42in = 1m0715ft = 4.5m24.5ft = 7.5m30ft = 9m75ft = 23m150ft = 46m750ft = 230m3D video render of Ezekiel's temple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQRegCrJHzkHow the altar looked: https://in.pinterest.com/pin/51298883249768377/

⚔️Sir Graelent is too beautiful for his scruplesAt least that's what the queen thinks. Good thing she doesn't have the power to wreck his whole life if he doesn't love her. Oh, wait...

Join me for a break down of Chapter 25 of Midnight Sun, 'Race', in which Edward picks out a souped-up ride, the sun is sunning, and Alice is a glorified dash-cam... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In der neuen Folge von Zwei Freundinnen und ein Buch sprechen Nadine und Flo über Kapitel 27 „Reisepläne“ aus Breaking Dawn und plötzlich wird aus der perfekten Cullen-Idylle ein richtig unangenehmes Gefühl.Während Bella endlich glücklich wirkt, entwickelt sich Renesmee immer schneller. Viel schneller, als allen lieb ist. Nadine und Flo reden darüber, warum Renesmee in diesem Kapitel gleichzeitig süß und komplett gruselig wirkt, weshalb Bellas neue „perfekte Welt“ langsam Risse bekommt und warum die Volturi jetzt zur echten Gefahr werden.Natürlich schweifen die beiden auch wieder herrlich ab: Es geht um passive-aggressive Emojis, OP-Schmerzen, The Devil Wears Prada, schlechte Sequels und Fifty Shades of Grey als Twilight-Fanfiction.Kapitelbesprechung ab 15:02Hier geht es zu unserem Discord-BuchclubHier könnt ihr uns über Steady unterstützen: Bei Steady unterstützenHier geht es zu Nadines Youtubekanal: Aus Liebe zum BuchGame Changer (Band 1): https://tidd.ly/4aTNygu (Werbung/Afiiliate)Heated Rivalry (Band 2) https://tidd.ly/4ptXlxd (Werbung/Afiiliate)Tough Guy (Band 3) https://tidd.ly/4l4NNrR (Werbung/Afiliate)Common Goal (Band 4) https://tidd.ly/4l9WCkw (Werbung Afiliate)Role Model (Band 5) https://tidd.ly/4aU34Zr (Werbung Afiliate)The Long Game (Band 6) https://tidd.ly/4sv4LlH (Werbung Afiliate) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 24 of Midnight Sun, 'Ambush', in which the tracker becomes the trackee, Edward forgets about lakes, and Alice is a lazy texter...'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Broadcaster and comedian Wendy Harmer and positive psychologist Dr Tim Sharp (aka ‘Dr Happy’) lift the veil on relationships and explore what it takes to nurture our most important connections with our partners, friends, and with ourselves. About the episode – brought to you by Australian Seniors, in partnership with RSPCA. Join Jean Kittson for the seventh season of DARE: The time of your life (formerly Life’s Booming), called Better With Age. Too often ageing is painted as decline. In reality, Australians are living longer, healthier lives and reshaping what “older” looks like. This series flips the script and shows how ageing is not a dirty word but rather a time to be embraced, featuring interviews with extraordinary over 50s refusing to slip quietly into the background. Wendy Harmer is a trailblazing comedian, broadcaster and journalist who has spent decades at the centre of Australian media and entertainment. Wendy first made her mark breaking new ground in Australia’s stand-up comedy scene before going on to become one of the country’s most recognisable media personalities and the author of bestselling books including Farewell My Ovaries. Australia’s own Dr Happy, Dr Tim Sharp is a leading positive psychologist, bestselling author and founder of The Happiness Institute, Australia’s first organisation dedicated to enhancing happiness. With a career spanning academia, clinical psychology and public speaking, he’s become one of the most recognised voices on mental health and wellbeing. Watch DARE: The Time of Your Life on YouTube Listen to DARE: The Time of Your Life on Apple Podcasts Listen to DARE: The Time of Your Life on Spotify For more information visit seniors.com.au/podcast Produced by Medium Rare Content Agency -- TRANSCRIPT: Jean Kittson: Welcome back to the podcast – DARE: The Time of Your Life, formerly Life’s Booming, brought to you by Australian Seniors, in partnership with RSPCA. I'm Jean Kittson, and this season is called Better with Age where we're flipping the script and showing how ageing is not a dirty word, but rather a time to be embraced. Australians are living longer, healthier lives, and this season celebrates over 50s who are pushing the boundaries of what ageing looks like and feels like. In this episode, we are lifting the veil on relationships and exploring what it takes to nurture our most important connections with our partners, friends, and with ourselves. We've probably all experienced how relationships shift over time. It's natural, of course, but it might surprise you to know just how important they are to our overall happiness and why it's vital to keep nurturing all relationships old and new. Which brings me to our first guest, Wendy Harmer, who knows about the importance of friendships and relationships and making new ones as we age. I first met Wendy when we worked together back in the 80s, so we've been friends a long time. She's one of Australia's most beloved entertainers, a trailblazing, standup comedian, journalist, broadcaster, performer and bestselling author. Her books include the wonderful Pearly children's book series, as well as more adult titles like Farewell My Ovaries and her memoir Lies My Mirror Told Me. And joining Wendy is Dr Tim Sharp, otherwise known as Dr Happy. Tim is one of Australia's leading positive psychologists, and the founder and Chief Happiness officer at the Happiness Institute. Also a bestselling author, including The Happiness Handbook and his most recent Lost and Found. Tim has dedicated his career to helping people live happier and more flourishing lives. Tim and Wendy, welcome to the podcast. Thank you both for coming in. Wendy Harmer: Great to be here, Jean. Jean Kittson: Oh, it's lovely to have you both here. Wendy Harmer: I've got to say, Tim, the first time I set eyes on this one, what a bombshell. She would've been on stage in a nurse's uniform at The Last Laugh Theatre Restaurant. It was, at the time, playing Nurse… Jean Kittson: Pam Sandwich… Wendy Harmer: …Pam Sandwich Jean Kittson: …in Let the Blood Run Free. Wendy Harmer: And this. All arms and legs and big boobs and blonde hair and falling over and doing all this amazing physical comedy. Everyone just adored Jean – and the men, we had to fight them off with a stick. Jean Kittson: Yeah. Well those were the days, weren't they? This is what friendship's all about Tim, right? Thanks Wendy. That was lovely of you to say that. I mean, we've known each other for, well, since the early 80s. Wendy Harmer: It would have been about ‘83. Jean Kittson: And you were on stage doing stand up. See, I was doing [characters] and you were amazing, what you were talking about, women’s things – topics for women, about women and relationships. Wendy Harmer: That's right. Well, because when I first started out doing standup, it was really a bloke's domain and I thought, well, this, you know, this is ridiculous because, you know, women's lives are interesting too, and I mean, there's one thing that annoys me above anything else is saying women aren't funny. Like the idea, Tim, that you would say, ‘oh, the pet budgie can make me laugh. The dog can make me laugh, but a woman can't make me laugh.’ I mean, it really, I think it strikes to our humanity and I get really cross about that. So I've sort of been a bit of a campaigner with that, you know, rubber chook on a stick for many years. But you know, the idea, I know you have this happiness. You talk a lot about happiness. How important is laughter? Dr Happy: Very important. Well, it's a general group, laughter, fun play, all of those things, which we too often underestimate and discount. Well, we sort of see them as a nice to have, but the research is pretty clear. It's super important for a good life. It's hard to live a best life, a thriving life, a flourishing life without laughter, without fun, without play. I mean, there are many other things as well, and I'm sure we'll get to some of those other things, but a hundred percent it is a very important contributor to living a really, really good quality life. Wendy Harmer: And it's interesting too, that our sense of humor. It's not universal at all. It's formed in that crucible of the family, or indeed your chosen family like Jean. You know, we chose each other as grownups to be a family. But that, you know, there is like the punny family, there's the practical joke family. There's, you know, each family has its own particular sense of humor, doesn't it? Jean Kittson: Well, I think friendship is a really important way of maintaining humour in your life because you get together with friends to have a laugh, don't you, often? Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Jean Kittson: I mean, they're complex relationships, friendships. I mean, you've had friendships for a long time, Wendy, long-term friends. Wendy Harmer: I still have a friend who was at my 70th birthday a couple of months ago, whom I met on the school bus when I was 13 years old. So I – Gary. So I think that's pretty cool. He's the friend that I've had the longest, but you know, Jean and I have very similar trajectories in this way. We both were sort of country girls, and then we went to Melbourne and then we moved to Sydney. And that is a big dislocator, isn't it, of friendships. It's when you, you know, and we both moved to Sydney about the same time, so we left this huge coterie of friends to move to Sydney with our husbands, and then we both had kids, which is isolating as well… Jean Kittson: …definitely, it changes everything, doesn't it… Wendy Harmer: … you know, the nature of a friendship just changes so much over the years. Jean Kittson: But in terms of friendship and happiness, I mean, is friendship a really important element? You are talking about laughing, which it is, but I know when I get together with friends, we laugh a lot. But friendship is a really important part of, you know, happiness. Dr Happy: Yeah. Well, look, I've been, well, I probably should say I started out my career specialising in unhappiness. I was a clinical psychologist to begin with and an academic. So I was studying sort of stress, depression, and misery before I even discovered happiness. But I have been studying, well, what we technically call positive psychology for several decades now. And if I had to sum up everything I've learned from thousands of research articles, hundreds of books, many, many conferences about, you know, what are the most important contributors to, well not just happiness, but wellbeing more generally, longevity, physical health, et cetera, it would certainly be positive relationships. In fact, one of the – so Christopher Peterson was one of the leaders, one of the grandfathers of positive psychology, and he dedicated his life to studying, thriving and flourishing. And he was once asked, what have you learned in, you know, 50 years as a professor? And he said, I can sum it up in three words. He said, other people matter. Wendy Harmer: Wow. That is correct. Dr Happy: So yeah, it's vitally important, almost certainly the most important contributor and the most important thing we can do is prioritise fostering and developing good quality relationships. Wendy Harmer: Well, you do hear that, don't you? That people ask on their deathbed, you know, what's your regret? And it's often that I didn't spend enough time with friends or family. You have some amazing relationships, Jean, and it's funny when you have a friend and you get to know that – and Angela, she's not a friend of mine, but I know her to be your best friend and that your friendship has been amazing over the years. How long have you known Angela? Jean Kittson: Well, I've known Angela for, since we were both teachers sent to the wilderness to teach first year out teachers. So probably since we were about 21, so 50 years. But she's a long distance friend, so I would speak to this friend regularly on the phone, and we speak all the time whenever we like on the phone, but I would only see Ange maybe once or twice a year, which is another thing about friendship. I know that our friendship endures because we speak regularly and we are in touch with each other's lives. Then I have friends who live a few streets away who I don't see for months, but I don't ring because they're only a few streets away and I lose contact – I mean, we often lose contact with friends. So, how do you manage that sort of – have you lost contact with any friends? You've got a huge cohort of friends. Wendy Harmer: Oh, well, I've lost, you know, I've lost contact with lots and lots of friends. I've only once lost contact with someone on purpose. I've done the– and that was after I spent time with this friend, and I realised that every time I walked away from spending time with this friend, I felt worse about myself. There was something just subtle in the relationship that just made me feel that I wasn't smart enough or I was like overweight or I wasn't achieving or whatever. Richard Stubbs, you know, our comedian friend, he would say, Wendy, he said, ‘sometimes you go back to that well, where it's quite clearly the person doesn't wanna be friends with you, and you are like, you won't take no for an answer.’ So I'm probably the opposite. I'm probably that needy person who wants, who needs you to be my friend, maybe. Jean Kittson: Well, I think we all need friends and we don't like it when we lose contact. And then you get embarrassed because it's been so long since you called. This is my situation that I'm too scared to ring up in case they just won't pick up and then I know I'm dropped. How do you mend broken friendships if– because they can be very painful, that sort of grief of losing someone just because of neglect, really not deliberately ghosting them or anything. Because friendships need to be nurtured, need to be fed in a way, need to be maintained. Wendy Harmer: [Like this plant..] Oh, that's plastic. That's plastic! I was going to say like this house plant! Jean Kittson: Yeah. Dr Happy: Look, it's, well, there's a couple of things there. You're a hundred percent right. We– relationships do need to be worked on. Now for some people that's easier than others. There's no doubt that some people who, at the risk of oversimplifying, may be the more extroverted people who find it more enjoyable, easier. It just comes naturally to them. Some of us, some other people, need to work a bit harder at it, but it is something you need to work at. And the other thing that came out through both of that, is that things change over time, which shouldn't be a surprise. You know, as we age and as our circumstances change and as our contexts change, you know, and you get married and you have children and then you retire, and all those sorts of things. So, our relationships will change, but we do still need to work on it. We do still, it is important to have some friends, for some people that will be fewer than others. You know, so some people, some of us are happy with one or two good friends, that's enough. Other people might need five 10 or whatever. But… Wendy Harmer: I can never have enough! Dr Happy: …and that's okay. Again, we're all different. Wendy Harmer: Well, yeah. My husband is, he has the most friendships of any person I've ever met in my entire life, to the point where every now and then, it's like barnacles on a barge. I have to go down and scrape them off… Dr Happy: Are you calling your husband a barge? Wendy Harmer: …every now and then. Yeah. But then he had his 50th birthday at our house. Mind you, 350 people came. Jean Kittson: Amazing. Dr Happy: Wow. Wendy Harmer: Lord. But it's almost… Jean Kittson: I’m jealous. Wendy Harmer: …Yeah. But it's almost like his mission, you know, mission in life. But you know, I'll tell you something though. Oh, have you ever had this Jean, have you ever been jealous of someone else's friendship? Because I remember years ago, I was a big Oprah aficionado. I loved everything that Oprah did. And then she talked all the time about her best friend, Gail King. Jean Kittson: Mm-hmm. Wendy Harmer: And they went on a road trip together and how they talked to each other three or four times a day and dah, dah, dah, dah. And I thought, oh, I wish I had a friendship like Gail and Oprah. So I had to stop reading about their friendship because it just seemed too ideal. But, I'm not sure that they weren't just lying. Jean Kittson: They–– didn't you say that they rang each other three or four times a day? Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Three, three or four times a day. Jean Kittson: I know that seems excessive. Wendy Harmer: It does seem excessive. Jean Kittson: I think it seems like there's some insecurity there even. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Maybe. Jean Kittson: Maybe, although, you know, we all need friends for different reasons, and we all need them at different times for different reasons. Often friends are the ones that get you through the hardest times in your life and you don't want to burden your family and your partner all the time with your insecurities. Wendy Harmer: See, I wanna say something really important there, which I hate, which is, you know, where people, you know, they make their marriage vows and they say, ‘you are my best friend.’ And I think. I don't want my husband to be my best friend. My husband is my lover, but he's not my best friend. I mean, what do you think of that, Jean? Jean Kittson: Well, in some ways, I suppose, you need to have a friendship with your relationship. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Yeah. Jean Kittson: It needs to be companionable. You need to trust them to be able to be honest with each other, and that's what friendships are like, and to have sex. You know, if you… Wendy Harmer: Be honest with each other? Are you serious? Jean Kittson: I'm serious. You gotta be honest about your– well, about how you're feeling, I mean, you don't, I mean– of course. I think honesty is really important, although, no, I don't wanna say anything too personal here, but there is a difference, yes. There is a difference between your friendship with your girlfriends, where you can just download and, I mean, do you have a really close male friend, this is the other thing? Wendy Harmer: Oh, yeah, yeah. I've got, actually, probably, I've got more male friends and female friends even. And I love my male friends. When my husband and I got married, I had an ex-boyfriend in my bridal party and he had his– one of his girl, not his girlfriend, but a female friend in his party. So we are very relaxed, you know, about all that. But as I say, you know, yes, I believe in trust, absolutely, in a relationship with your partner. Honesty? Hmm. I'll get back to you. Jean Kittson: Well, I think with really good friends, you can be honest. I often hear people say, oh, these– well, you were talking about a friend who made you feel bad. I'm not talking about that. But I think some friends, you often hear people say, ‘oh, friends should build you up’ or ‘you should always have a positive relationship with them.’ But sometimes friendships go through periods where you are there to support them through really hard times. So, it's not always gonna be someone who makes you feel better about yourself. It's maybe you making them feel better about themselves. Wendy Harmer: But sometimes also as a friend, you've got to say, listen, I think that you might be, you know, on the wrong path here. Or, you know, you've gotta put… Dr Happy: Honesty. Wendy Harmer: …Yeah. You've gotta be diplomatic, haven't you? But some– do you think that a friend, good friend should be able to say, yeah, well, maybe, I don't know whether this is quite the–– how should we go about that? Dr Happy: Oh, for sure. I think, well, if I take my sort of professional hat on and just so to speak personally, because this is something I've learned over the years and, and I haven't really seen much research on it.There's not much talk in the sort of academic community about it. But, I've come to learn, there are different types of friends and so, I have some friends who I can talk honestly about and share my feelings with, even though I'm a bloke and then there are other friends who are fun, but I would never go to them necessarily if I have a problem. And I don't think that necessarily makes them not a good friend. I think it took me a long time to learn there are just different friends who have, kind of almost different purposes for want of a better phrase, including my wife and family as well in that. And so there are some things I will call some people for and other things I'll call other people for and I don’t know if we necessarily give that as much consideration. Wendy Harmer: Is your… Jean Kittson: I think that's really true. Wendy Harmer: …Can I ask, do you think your wife is your best friend? Dr Happy: She is actually at the risk of disagreeing with you! But I don’t know if that's necessarily that common. I have, well, I suppose it depends how you define best, but we are very close friends. We've spent over 30 years now. Jean Kittson: I think you're right about friends for, you know, you don't have friends for all seasons. You have different friends for different seasons in a way. And I– there's friends I would call if I needed a bit of therapy, you know, uplifting, give me a confidence boost. And then there's friends that I would call to just take me out of my world into a whole different world. Wendy Harmer: Yeah… Jean Kittson: …And that's, that's a benefit of having many friends or a few friends. But of course, what you mentioned before, some people are introverts and find friendships more difficult to maybe maintain or they're more exhausting and other extroverts might have a whole lot of friends – like you and Brendan are both extroverts, I would say, Wendy. Dr Happy: Well, so at the risk of disagreeing, that's a bit of a misunderstanding, with introverts and extroverts, so it's not– introverts don't necessarily find friendships difficult. It's just that they don't get their energy from mixing with lots of people a lot of the time. So, they need to have time. They still could have good quality relationships, maybe not as many, but it's just that they'll need to take time out probably a bit more often and spend a bit more time on their own. So it is a bit of a– introverts aren't necessarily loners, or even lonely, for that matter. Jean Kittson: No, that's right. I'm glad you clarified that. I think I'm probably– was talking about sort of at parties and big [events] whereas extroverts get their energy, they find the whole thing… Dr Happy: Yeah. When you were describing your husband's party with 350 people, this is my worst nightmare. I was thinking, my God, I'd be out of there in five minutes. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Tim, can I ask you, how do we kind of know, how do we know when we are deficient in friendship. Is there any universal standard or is it just every single person will feel that very differently? Dr Happy: That's a really good question. And there's probably multiple answers. Wendy Harmer: Thanks. It's a better question than Jean’s! Jean Kittson: Yeah, wow, I was– you just interview us, Wendy. I would be so happy. Dr Happy: As I say, no, great question. I think everyone is different. So again, we all need, you know, some of us are quite happy with a very small group of intimate friends, other people want the 350, whatever it might be. I guess the real question is to ask yourself honestly, like, how do I feel about my life? Do I feel I have enough, do I feel it's adequate in that context and in other contexts as well? Because there's a difference between being alone and being lonely – [we] kind of almost touched on that before. And again, there some people are perfectly happy, either totally on their own or maybe just one or two people in their lives. Other people need more than that, and it's not– one's not right or wrong or better or worse, it's just, again, we're different. So the question then is, how do you feel and if you are, if you don't feel happy with it… Although what we do need to be careful of, and you kind of touched on this a bit earlier maybe with the Oprah thing, is social comparison. Jean Kittson: Yes. Dr Happy: We do need to be careful looking at, you know, let's say you or your husband saying, ‘oh, she's got lots of friends. I don't have enough so I'm inadequate.’ Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Dr Happy: That's not necessarily the case. Social comparison is problematic and number is one, because as you hinted at, especially on social media, it's not always accurate. Not always truthful. But two, even if it does work for you or Oprah, it doesn't necessarily mean it works for me. Wendy Harmer: Mm-hmm. Dr Happy: So we've all gotta find our own right way, our own balance, I suppose. And again, for some people that will be a bit easier than others. Wendy Harmer: Mm, Jean Kittson: Yes. I suppose as you get older too, there's going to be, there's so many more responsibilities in your life. I know that as a carer, people always say, ‘oh, maintain your own friendships and maintain a social life,’ but it's almost impossible if you are a carer for someone and you're on-call and you have to cancel social engagements, and you find yourself drifting away from friends and moving – you're no longer the inner circle of your friendship group. You're getting further and further out. And I just wonder if that's– if you can repair that, if that couldn't be repaired when you are, you know, you have more time and let fewer responsibilities. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. It feels like, to me, it feels like to me that anyone that you want to have in your life would understand that. And if, if you picked up the phone and said, ‘look I've been caring for, you know, a sick relative or mum and dad or whatever,’ and I find myself now, you know, I don't have that as much responsibility anymore for whatever reason, whether there's been a bereavement or whatever that if you, if that, if you pick up the phone and that person says, welcome back and I've been thinking of you, and they welcome you with open arms, that's the person you want in your life, don't you think? Jean Kittson: Definitely. But I think the distance that can happen over years particularly means that people move on with their friendships and their lives have changed and you can no longer be intimately involved with their lives and it takes a lot to catch up. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, that's true. Jean Kittson: But you really– I think somehow you have to bridge that otherwise you will be lonely. Dr Happy: It's a really good point. As you were saying that I was, again, reflecting on my personal life as opposed to my professional life. And I was thinking, I've always found it difficult, you know, initially, busy starting my career and trying to establish my career, then getting married, having young children, and at that time, not that many of my friends had young children at the same time. So that sort of then, you know– so there was always, and now caring for elderly parents, et cetera. There's always been something that's potentially got in the way, but I am at a stage now where I'm trying to reestablish because I lost – I don't wanna bring this down too much – I lost many years through mental ill health, through quite serious depression, anxiety, and I particularly lost a lot of friendships because I isolated, it wasn't their fault necessarily. So I'm trying to reestablish it. And it's interesting, and this goes to your point, I think, to see how people respond. And some people are welcoming me back with open arms saying, ‘great, we missed you.’ Other people, not so much. And that's fine, I suppose. I guess you do learn when you do make that effort, who the real friends are. Wendy Harmer: One of the things that I'd like to talk about is that it is often women in relationships who are doing the heavy lifting when it comes to friendship. Of course this is very problematic if there is a bereavement, you know, and like my dad. My dad ended up living alone without friends. And I mean, it was very, I mean, he ended up, I think they prescribed him Prozac or some darn thing or whatever, but that happens to a lot of men, doesn't it really? It's something to watch out for, I would've  thought. Dr Happy: Certainly. Yeah, the research is pretty clear. Older men, well, men generally, tend to be not quite as good at fostering and developing those relationships. It tends to become more problematic as they age, and they tend to become more isolated, which is then a high risk factor for a whole range of problems including depression, but also other health problems as well. So yeah, it is a big problem and I think we're starting to see a real explosion as this, as the baby boomers really are hitting that, well are at that age now, I suppose, and even Gen X are getting to that point. Things are changing. So when I– I think my generation was sort of the bit of a turning point and then–– Well, when, if I look at my son, for example, is in his early twenties and how he interacts, and he might not be typical, but the way he relates to particularly his male friends is very different in a good way, I think. Jean Kittson: In a good way. Yeah. Wendy Harmer: I think I agree. Same with my–– how old's your son? Dr Happy: 23. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, mine's 28. I see them very accepting of each other. They don't have to, well, you know, maybe this, our particular sort of… Dr Happy: We might not be typical… Wendy Harmer: But they don't have to put on that macho thing, and they're very, it seems to me they do reach out to a friend who's down. You know, going through a hard time, they seem to be softer. Dr Happy: I think it is changing. So, I mean, I did a podcast series a few years ago on what does it mean to be a man? And the main thing I took, I learned from, I mean, I was meant to be teaching people, I suppose, but the main thing I learned from that is that there isn't one masculinity. There are masculinities. There are multiple ways to quote/unquote be a man. And I think I sort of try and talk a lot about that, particularly young men that, you know, there are different ways to be masculine. There are different ways to show your emotions. There are different ways to be vulnerable. Again, we'll all do that differently, but if we can be more accepting, I think that's really important because, you know, men as a result of all of that, there are significant health and mental health problems, from poor definitions of masculinity. Jean Kittson: Yes, of course. Wendy Harmer: Hey Jean, do you reckon you can make a new friend at our age? Jean Kittson: Well, I was just going to ask you that, in fact, Wendy. I think well, if we take from the men's side, often people of our age and getting older are put into retirement villages or their families say, you know, you go off and sell the family home. And they wanna put us with each other instead of a cross section. And we’re supposed to make friends like we were back at kindergarten and often people are in their 80s and they move into a whole new community. Wendy Harmer: They're quite set in their ways. Of course. Jean Kittson: …yes, of course Not flexible. Jean Kittson: Well, maybe they just have other, different incapacities. Maybe they can't see very well, maybe they can't hear very well, and you're supposed to start new friendships at that stage in life. I think that from my point of view, but I'd rather ask you both this.. Wendy Harmer: …but you've written the books about this… Jean Kittson: Well, I wrote books about being, yes, about caring for our elders and how to make sure they got what they wanted and they had the life they wanted. And not many people wanna leave their community at a late age and try to make new friends, that's for sure. It's very, very difficult. And often it comes with, because of their maybe ill health and they can't– mum had lost her sight for 20 years and mum and dad, both of them couldn't hear very well. So it was harder to make new friends, but they did through groups, like you're saying, how do you make new friends? It's like the Men Shed, or bowling for the vision impaired – which is a very dangerous sport, I must say – but you make new friends by, and we had… and there's, you know, choirs and painting and perhaps joining groups where you're not having to go out for a coffee and sit opposite a stranger and try to, you know, find common ground, that you're doing something else. It's like the friendships, I imagine, it's like those sometimes very intimate friendships you have with people on a train or a bus or a plane that you know you're never going to see again, and then you just share all sorts of things. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm really pleased to hear that because I mean, it just sounds horrifying to me, the idea of going to an aged care home and being sat around with a whole lot of people and then think, and someone jollying and like, ‘oh, let's all be friends’. I could not think of anything worse. But you're saying that it doesn't have to be like that. Jean Kittson: Oh, there is a lot of community and if you're there for a while, I mean, people often are very– start off not very happy in those sort of places, because they've had illness. And there'll be a lot of people probably listening to this podcast who are struggling with things that are happening in their lives and thinking, well, how do I even have time for friends? But it is really important, even if you've only got one friend, don't you think? Dr Happy: Definitely, and I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think it is difficult, I think we all acknowledge that, but it is possible. And I think you're right. Joining clubs, societies, community– I mean, I was thinking of my mum who, after mum and dad got divorced and very later became a very passionate bridge player like multiple times a week. And that was her family. It was her second family. It was– dad's been very involved in Rotary. So some of the– you know, there are communities or groups that already exist, you know, woodworking or sporting or the Men's Sheds for example, that's a great way to do it because you're also pursuing, you know, presuming you're pursuing a passion that you enjoy or some sort of hobby, but you're interacting with other people. So that is possible and it's one of probably, the best and easiest way to do it if that's something you want to or need to do. Wendy Harmer: Mm-hmm. I did a little bit of research about this, about resilience in children, and one of the conclusions is that resilience, if a child– a child just needs one adult to make a difference to their resilience. So, and you know, that might not be mum or dad, it could be a friend, could be a relative or whatever, but just that one person, and I'm thinking it's probably the same in old age as well. Dr Happy: Yeah, well I talk a lot about happiness and thriving, flourishing, and as I had said earlier, I talk a lot about positive relationships because it's one of the most important contributors. And I often talk about what I call ‘3:00 AM friends.’ Who would you call at 3:00 AM when the [bleep] hits the fan? – Am I allowed to say that? – When something goes wrong. And well like you said, you really only need one. I mean, if you've got two or three. That's just fantastic. But if you've got one person who you can call when something's gone wrong, that's all you need and that's super important at any age really. Wendy Harmer: Well I’ve got Jean on speed dial. Jean Kittson: Call me at 3:00 AM anytime, Wendy. Oh, that's a very great point. Wendy Harmer: I've never thought of that. That’s a really good point, who would you call? Jean Kittson: Who would you call… Wendy Harmer:…who would you call at 3:00 AM? Well, I know that Jean has been such an extraordinary carer for her mum and dad that I know that she'll have every number of every medical centre, ambulance, where to get drugs… Jean Kittson: But which friend would I call? Dr Happy: Can I get your number? Jean Kittson: And have you got someone you would call after…? Dr Happy: Well, at the risk of upsetting Wendy, my wife. And then well, yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have a good family as well. So, I wouldn't say we are best buddies who speak every day, but I have a brother and sister, and we have pretty good, strong relationships. I think if I needed to, I know either one of them would do whatever they could. I have a father who's still, he's obviously getting– my mother died, but he's elderly and physically sort of isn't able to do much, but he would do whatever he could, obviously. And then, yeah, I do have a small handful of friends who I think if I really needed to and who I have, I suppose in the past, called up when I needed to. Wendy Harmer: I wanna put this, I mean, I really, really must insist here that, I'm talking about in the event that my husband is like, lying next to me dead or something, who am I gonna call? Because he would be the first person… Dr Happy: …well if he's dead there's no point calling anyone! Jean Kittson: It's interesting that, well, sometimes people would prefer, well, what am I trying to say here? Sometimes I feel guilty when I think the first people I would call would be in my family. They're the people I'm closest to, probably, and they're the ones that I– we share everything. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, of course. Jean Kittson: But then psychologically that could be called enmeshment, if I say I'd call my daughters if I, you know, needed something at three in the morning, they'd be the first people that I would. Wendy Harmer: Of course. Jean Kittson: But, I'm not sure whether that's unhealthy or not. Dr Happy: No, not necessarily. Enmeshment is maybe the three times a day sort of thing, but calling – and probably I should have put my kids in that when I was talking about earlier as well – but no, I think calling… One of the greatest myths in our society, I think, and one of the greatest myths and misconception about happiness or life generally, is this myth of independence. And I could bang on about neoliberalism… Wendy Harmer: …No man is an Island, John Donne… Dr Happy: But no, well, I think so much of a sort of quote/unquote Western society is focused on independence and individual responsibility. And that's not to say we shouldn't be responsible. Of course we should, but we are social animals. We're social beings, and there's nothing wrong at all in needing other people and relying on other people. Not every minute of every day for everything. That's problematic. But when something goes wrong, we shouldn't feel bad at all about reaching out and asking for help. Wendy Harmer: But this is also, this is also a product of the kind of society that we live in. I mean, if you look at those intergenerational households… Dr Happy: Mm-hmm. Wendy Harmer: …that you see in so many other cultures, of course everyone's enmeshed and everyone's friends, everyone's arguing, everyone's, you know, it's a whole… Jean Kittson: Ecosystem… Wendy Harmer: …in itself. That's right. And so you've got, living down the street, there's this ecosystem there and this one there and this one there. But, Australia, of course, we have this thing where, oh, you must grow up and move out of home and it's gonna be great for everyone. And I mean, it's not necessarily. Jean Kittson: Well, we're products of the nuclear family, aren't we? Where our… Wendy Harmer: Yeah, we sure are. Jean Kittson: …our parents were, they were aspirational. They wanted to leave the small towns and the… everyone seemed to think a small town was bad when I was growing up. And you had to go to the city and that was where the excitement was and the stimulation was, and that's where people got things done and they were more interesting. And now I think we're realising that small towns and villages… Dr Happy: …green changes… Jean Kittson: …yeah, exactly. They really have so much to offer. And you were talking about young people beforehand, people in villages, you know, now we need mentors for young people and this great organisation, Raise organisation, that puts mentors in schools. And that's another thing you can do if you're older and you wanna connect, you can volunteer to be a mentor for a younger person. A younger person once– you know, we had, when we were in a village, we had mentors, whether we liked it or not. We had companionship because everyone was interested in who we were and what we might contribute to the community. But that's lost. Wendy Harmer: Well, I'm glad you're asking. Yes, I will move in with you. Jean Kittson: Yes. Move in and mentor me, Wendy. Dr Happy: No, I think… I couldn't agree more. I think there's no doubt that big cities do offer something like, you know, employment prospects and entertainment variety and even, you know, cafes and restaurants and blah, blah, blah. But when we're– if you look at the research into, well not happiness at an individual level, but sort of, thriving and flourishing at a sort of higher level, the happiest places to live tend to be those regional centres that are big enough… so for example, in, you know, New South Wales it would be Orange or Newcastle or Wollongong. So they're big enough to have everything you might want, but still small enough to have a sense of connection and community. Wendy Harmer: …Geelong, Ballarat … Dr Happy: Yeah. So every state would have a version of that. And that's what you know, I think during COVID for example, we saw a significant shift to some of those places. Because that's what people were looking for, that connection, that community, and many of those people have stayed there or are continuing to move those spaces. So, I mean, I suppose if you can find that in the big city, great. That's good. That's what we wanna try and do, those of us that do live in big cities, to find that community through clubs, through societies, through whatever, you know, surf club, for example, that's a great example. Whatever it might be. Jean Kittson: That is an excellent piece of advice about finding the connection where you are. So many people reach our age and they decide they want a tree change or a sea change, and they leave their community and then they think their kids will visit, but they're back in the city with their own family earning a living, and then they find they're on their own again, and they've left the people that are really important. Yeah, would you ever move Wendy? Wendy Harmer: Oh yes. Jean Kittson: …but not far… Wendy Harmer: Oh, yes! My husband's a bit of a mollusc and a rock. We lived in, I mean I grew up moving all over the place because dad was a rural school teacher. So, I mean, when we talk about friendships, well, you know, I had to make friends over and over and over again. And so I think that's why I might just have a little bit of neediness there because I always think, oh, you know, that things that you grow up with, I suppose a pathology. I would love to move, but my husband's very content to, you know, where he is. I've got one daughter who lives next door. I mean, I adore that. And then I've got one son who's, you know, he spends a lot of time overseas, so, I've got a bit, you know, I've got a bit of both. Would I move ? Jean Kittson: Well, you could take your friends with you, obviously you would move in the same area, or would you do a really– I mean… I would be worried about community and friendship moving. Wendy Harmer: You have to understand this. Did I say mollusc on a rock? The man is immovable. It's not happening. So, yeah. But, you know, home for me is where I am. You know, I don't– because I grew up in all these different places, I don't really– if you said, Wendy, where's home? I would say, here, Wendy is home. That's where home is for me. So a little bit different. Jean Kittson: And Tim, what about you? Dr Happy: Well, we were chatting before, and we're literally in the process of selling a family home that we've been in for 25 years. But we're probably not going to move very far at all, like a few kilometers. But what we have done, because we're empty nesters now, but we've also bought a block of bush, a couple of hours out of Sydney, where we're gradually spending more and more time. So that's thoroughly enjoyable, immersed in nature. So sort of trying to get the best of both worlds. We have a smaller place in Sydney and a nice retreat. Jean Kittson: That's perfect. That's like the ideal. Wendy Harmer: …best of both worlds. Fantastic. Jean Kittson: My sister and I both married people from New South Wales and then my parents moved from Sorento where they'd been for years and years, had a great network of friends and they moved up to New South Wales to be near my sister and I. We both had young kids. We were both, you know, we needed help, and they moved there. And I went back to Sorento last week, and there were all these people – to do a fundraiser for a hospice – and there were all these people who were friends of mum and dad's. Because they were in business, they had friends that were younger. We didn't touch on this, but friends of different ages, you know, not just your peers. They had friends who were my age who thought of them really fondly and it was really lovely. It was amazing how warmly they spoke of them and how if mum and dad had turned up again after 20 years, they would just fall straight back into that friendship. Wendy Harmer: We get back to that, to the kind of culture that we live in that does not make being close as possible as it should. Jean Kittson: No, we should never have moved away from mum and dad. We should have stayed near them and they moved to be near us. And, I don't think they– they made some good friends, very, very good friends. But the friendships they'd made over their middle years were the closest friends, and long lasting. I mean, after their death, they were still friends with them. In fact, I was saying how I've got this problem because mum and dad's ashes are still in my cupboard, because mum wanted to be scattered at sea and dad wanted to be with mum, but not scattered at sea. So. I'm stuck. Dr Happy: I'm not gonna get involved in that one! Jean Kittson: No, exactly! Wendy Harmer: I've still got a whole lot of dad's ashes, because he moved around Victoria so much, I've got no idea where I should put them. I'd have to do this tour, you know, Cook’s tour and put I bit there, and a bit there, a bit there… Jean Kittson: But what I was gonna say, one of these women who– mum had given her her first job, which I didn't really know her. She has a boat and she said I'll take their ashes out and scatter them for you. Wasn't that nice? Dr Happy: There you go, a generous offer. Jean Kittson: I know… what sort of… that's a pretty good friendship, I would say. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. I'll scatter your ashes after you die. Jean Kittson: Will you? Thank you Wendy. Wendy Harmer: I think I'll do it in the shoe department at David Jones. Jean Kittson: Do it next week…! Wendy Harmer: You'd be quite happy there, wouldn't you? Jean Kittson: That's where you would be. I'll be in the local op shop. Just leave them there. Someone will probably buy them. Would either of you like to say anything more about the importance of friendship because we can wrap up otherwise. Wendy Harmer: I would like to say that I'm still recruiting! Jean Kittson: Yeah. I'll share your number! Wendy Harmer: …So if you'd like to… Jean Kittson: …this is Wendy's number Wendy Harmer: …if you'd like to be my, where's my camera? If you'd like to be my friend, do drop me a line. Look, I am Mrs Have-a-chat. My daughter just says, going down the street with you is a nightmare because I'm like, oh, there's the butcher. I might have a yarn with them. And oh, there's… So, yes. As I say, I'm taking applications. Dr Happy: Oh. Well, I think I probably already made my point, but I just to reiterate, I'd say there are multiple factors that contribute to living a good and happy life, but if I was gonna say the most important thing, I would say fostering and developing good quality relationships. So, make it a priority. It's just as if not more important than anything else you can possibly do. Jean Kittson: Thank you both very much… Wendy Harmer: …And thank you for being my friend all these years. Jean Kittson, an ornament to my life. Jean Kittson: Yeah. I'm a bauble on the Christmas tree of your friendship tower. Wendy Harmer: Indeed. Jean Kittson: Oh no. Well, I'm very proud to be your friend, that's for sure. Thank you both so much. I've learned a lot and I'm gonna ring up some friends now… And thank you for sharing your stories of friendship too. Thanks, Wendy. Thanks, Tim. Wendy Harmer: You're welcome. Thank you, Jean. Dr Happy: Thank you. Jean Kittson: Thanks. Thank you to Wendy Harmer and Dr Tim Sharp. You've been listening to DARE: The time of your life, brought to you by Australian seniors. Please leave a review and share this show with someone you know. Visit seniors.com au slash podcast for more episodes. Thank you. Goodbye.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gardening podcast - Fifty shades of grass seed. Penny Haslam is back in the garden with a small but pleasing mission: turning a bare, scruffy patch of soil into lawn.But the real twist comes from Marks & Spencer, where a bottle of wine at the self-checkout leads to some unexpectedly committed age-check banter with a young member of staff.Cue confusion, embarrassment and one important question: what do you call a younger man who's attracted to older women?https://gardenpodcast.co.uk/

Join me for a break down of Chapter 23 of Midnight Sun, 'Goodbyes', in which Alice hides under a truck, Bella divorces her dad, and James tracks a stinky sock and a bag of hockey sticks... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fifty Shades of Gray Aliens: In Consideration of Aliens, UFOs, Abductees, Contactees, Experiencers, Channeling, and More In Consideration of aliens, UFOs, Billy Meier, Erich Von Daniken, Robert Temple, Travis Walton, Whitley Strieber, Ancient Aliens, Manly P. Hall and more."One theory which can no longer be taken very seriously is that UFOs are interstellar spaceships"—Arthur C. ClarkeThis is not your typical UFO book as it is UFO nonfiction and contains much background on the phenomena and personages involved in abductee, contactee, experiencer and channeling experiences?What are aliens and UFOs?What do aliens want and what is their messages for us?How does pop-culture in general interact with such phenomena?These questions and much more are explored within this text. This is an aliens and UFOs non-fiction Kindle book or paperback book.“I could actually borrow some of your work to answer some questions people have asked me. Kudos to what you did with this book”—Joseph Jordan, president and co-founder of the CE4 Research Group and former investigator for MUFON“This book contains a great amount of research on the origins of gray aliens, extraterrestrials, dimensional travelers or demons. The research includes thorough examples…From Pop culture to the occult, the origins of the modern gray alien are pieced together”—John Razimus, occult researcher and independent investigator“Ken's work boldly considers all angles and perspectives to every aspect of this topic. He provokes the reader to consider all aspects of a situation that many may overlook because it may interfere with our preconceived ideas that, knowingly or not, we want to prove”—Jim Wilhelmsen, MUFON research specialist and author of Beyond Science Fiction!#aliens #ufos #extraterrestrials #whitleystrieber #billymeier #traviswaltonhttps://amzn.to/42epqj0Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-opperman-report--1198501/support.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 22 of Midnight Sun, 'The Hunt', in which Emmett is swole, Jasper is boring, and Bella is more worried about the FBI than a tracking tracker who is good at tracking... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of the second half of Chapter 21 of Midnight Sun, 'The Game', in which Bella falls in the mud, Edward cheats at baseball, and Alice predicts thunder.... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of the first half of Chapter 21 of Midnight Sun, 'The Game', in which Billy delivers some fish fry, Carlisle catfishes a genealogist, and Edward mops the floor... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Downton Abbey (2019), the first movie, kicks off our Downton Abbey month that Calum has somehow made happen. The King and Queen are coming for tea, and this causes many shenanigans. Will the staff get to give the King dinner? Will the rich people stay rich? You'll have to listen to find out, or watch the movie. Maggie Smith alone makes it worth it, so why not? Good news, you also get a Fifty Shades audiobook update in this episode. Join us next week as we watch Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022)

#150 - Spoiler: we hebben VEEL met groen. Zolang je maar geen hoed in deze kleur draagt, want dan zit je kennelijk met een overspelige partner. Isa heeft deze week bijna een relatie overgehouden aan een ontmoeting bij het pinautomaat, en Marc-Marie strooit wat feedback voor Géza Weisz. In de categorie ‘uit een goed hart’ zullen we maar zeggen.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 20 of Midnight Sun, 'Carlisle', in which Carlisle loves the Volturi, Edward shows Bella his CD collection, and Jasper discovers his own personal brand of emotional heroin... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Condemned (2007) wraps up Sam's reality-TV birthday month, and not one trashy TV episode was discussed. Which is funny, because all the TV we watched in Portugal was trash reality TV: which, on that note, shoutout to Ridiculousness. So, it's a movie made by WWE starring Stone Cold Steve Austin, preaching about audiences condoning violence. It probably shouldn't be taken seriously, right? Unfortunately, this film takes itself so very seriously that it even ends with Nickelback. Bonus for listeners, Calum gives a synopsis of his read of Fifty Shades of Grey. Don't say we don't treat you good.Join us next week as we start our Downton Abbey Month!

Laci and Matt fall into the world of Christian Grey, a mysterious and mercurial billionaire (age: 27) who enjoys flying his helicopter and tickling womens' tummies.  First, the show explores author E.L. James and how her Twilight fan fiction evolved into the worldwide bestselling Fifty Shades trilogy. Then, a cultural industry grows like a weed, trying to figure out what exactly it says about our society that we love these books, ya know?  The 2010s is also when fandom completely seizes control of the production of its favorite intellectual properties. Author E.L. James was not happy with how far the first Fifty Shades film deviated from her book, and she kept a much tighter leash on the subsequent entries. But what exactly was she unhappy with? Is Fifty Shades of Grey conservative or progressive, sex-positive or prudish, feminist or retrograde, pro-BDSM or anti-BDSM? The answer, of course, is yes.  I'll bet you five you're not alive if this movie about transactional law doesn't turn you on. Plus, we answer a sex advice question!  Next week (April 10, 2026): SEX MONTH continues with the '90s sex comedy classic Can't Hardly Wait (1998)!   Time stamps: 00:05:06 — History segment: Author E.L. James writes a Twilight fan fiction that then gets turned into Fifty Shades of Grey; the novel becomes a blockbuster, leading to huge movies and a huge cultural industry; the production of the movie is difficult; Dakota Johnson still confuses us; the #notmychristian backlash to Jamie Dornan's casting; director Sam Taylor-Johnson later expresses regret that she did the movie, claims E.L. James doesn't like her 00:43:05 — Movie discussion 01:55:19 — Sex advice question of the week: "Help! My girlfriend wants to pee on me!"  01:59:15 — Final thoughts & star ratings   Sources: "Unexpected Lessons From 'Fifty Shades of Grey'" by A.O. Scott | The New York Times (2015) - https://bit.ly/4lYHR46  "'Fifty Shades' Sequel: Author E.L. James Demands Control Over Script" by Justin Kroll & Ramin Setoodeh | Variety (2015) - https://bit.ly/4bIqIIz "Mommy porn?: Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James: review" by Laura Barnett | The Telegraph (2012) - https://bit.ly/3PJsaSq  "Sir Salman Rushdie: 'Fifty Shades of Grey makes Twilight look like War and Peace'" by Chris Irvine Chrisirvine | The Telegraph (2012) - https://bit.ly/3QaVlxP  "Sam Taylor-Johnson reveals Fifty Shades regret: 'EL James didn't like me'" by Alice Vincent | The Telegraph (2017) - https://bit.ly/4bZPC5s  "'Fifty Shades' Casting: Shailene Woodley and Other Surprise Names That Passed" by Tatiana Siegel & Borys Kit | The Hollywood Reporter (2013) -  https://bit.ly/3O9Ag6s "50 Shades film: Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson cast" by Ben Child | The Guardian (2013) - https://bit.ly/3PHuolp  "Jamie Dornan fled to rural hideaway after 'ridicule' over Fifty Shades of Grey" by Vanessa Thorpe | The Guardian (2024) - https://bit.ly/4tlqFbD  "Fifty Shades Of Green: How Fanfiction Went From Dirty Little Secret To Money Machine" by Hayley C. Cuccinello | Forbes (2017) - https://bit.ly/4cgEDpo  "Christian Grey Began His Fictional Career As A Vampire" by Neda Ulaby | NPR (2015) - https://n.pr/41actGq  "Is Fifty Shades Of Grey Twilight Fan-Fiction? Origins & Inspiration Explained" by Adrienne Tyler | Screen Rant (2024) - https://bit.ly/4s7gZR1  "Fifty Shades of Grey: what BDSM enthusiasts think" by Anna Smith | The Guardian (2015) - https://bit.ly/4cgEL8m    Artwork by Laci Roth.   Check out Laci's coloring videos on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-kKLhWb2g0bKA-RrvvLh0Q/  Matt has a monthly spin-off podcast covering the James Bond films! Check out PodJob: A James Bond Podcast on Apple Podcast (https://bit.ly/4jRL2K1), Spotify (https://bit.ly/4a8jM6E), and YouTube (https://youtube.com/@podjob007).   Music by Rural Route Nine. Listen to their album The Joy of Averages on Spotify (https://bit.ly/48WBtUa), Apple Music (https://bit.ly/3Q6kOVC), or YouTube (https://bit.ly/3MbU6tC).   Songs by Rural Route Nine in this episode: "Winston-Salem" - https://youtu.be/-acMutUf8IM "Snake Drama" - https://youtu.be/xrzz8_2Mqkg "The Bible Towers of Bluebonnet" - https://youtu.be/k7wlxTGGEIQ    Follow the show!  Twitter: @1weekrental | @MattStokes9 | @LRothConcepts Facebook: @1weekrental Instagram: @1weekrental TikTok: @1weekrental | @mattstokes9 Letterboxd: @loadbearinglaci | @mattstokes9 Bluesky: @1weekrental.bsky.social   1-Week Rental used to be Load Bearing Beams.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 19 of Midnight Sun, ' Home', in which Edward manipulates Rosalie, Bella meets the parents, and Edward finally gets a piece of Bella inside him... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on the BBC Introducing in Oxfordshire & Berkshire podcast, Dave introduces you to the incredible music of singer/songwriter Joe Bray!Plus, why are they all in their pyjamas!? Alex West dons his finest dressing gown to catch up with Girl Like That after their gig at The Bullingdon in Oxford, and Lauren Skinner dives into the BBC Introducing uploader to bring you the journey of one of our faves - this time it's Danny Mellin!Here's this week's track list: • SISTRA - Is It Just Me? Cave Man - All In Alto Alto - Mediterranean Sun Naked Brunch - Tied To Me Magma - Bread Lost Velvet - Burnt Flyboy Jetty - Creek sap green & Dolly Doo - Ring Ring Mc Inna - Stressed out Joe Hicks - If Only Konyikeh - Mercenary [tipped by Jess Iszatt at BBC Radio 1] Dom James Jr. - Fifty Shades of You All is Worth - Save Them From The Fall Purple Grace - Narcisisst Sadie Fine - Rodeo Joe Bray - Waiting Sam Girling - Look What U Done [tipped by Jaguar at BBC Radio 1 Dance] The Jacques - Tall Tale Man Girl Like That - flustered Helen Pearson - Foxes Club Will - Move The House DeadWax - Bang On [tipped by Alyx Holcombe at BBC Radio 1 Rock] Liza Xenia - Porcelain Indica Blues - So Low Danny Mellin - When She's With Me Arimea - Silent Space The Dopamine Project - Watching Rain David Bergen - Blackberry Honey Farm Cathy Hattam - Let Us Be Free • If you're making music in Oxfordshire and Berkshire, send us your tunes with the BBC Introducing Uploader: https://www.bbc.co.uk/introducing/uploader

Maryland is reshaping what climate leadership looks like — not just through bold targets, but through the dollars that bring those targets to life. In this episode of Fifty Shades of Green, we sit down with Secretary Serena McIlwain of the Maryland Department of the Environment to explore how the state is embedding climate action into its budgeting system and building a government where climate impact is part of every decision.Secretary McIlwain breaks down how Maryland:Aligns 26 state agencies using a unified climate budgeting frameworkTracks more than $3.5 billion in climate‑aligned spendingRedirects funding toward resilience, clean energy, and vulnerable communitiesLeverages partnerships like the Under2 Coalition to mobilize private investmentBuilds long‑term stability so climate action continues regardless of politicsYou'll hear how Maryland is institutionalizing climate responsibility, building market certainty, and ensuring everyday public investments cut pollution, lower costs, and support communities facing real climate impacts.If you want a look inside what “next‑generation climate budgeting” really means, and how states can transform ambition into results, this episode is a must‑listen. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 18 of Midnight Sun, 'Mind Over Matter' in which Edward roasts Rosalie, Alice names herself, and Bella has sexy seaweed hair... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode of What's New to Netflix, we take a peek at the new stuff coming to Netflix in March 2026, because we want to, and you might even appreciate it! Then we climb the second-highest mountain in the world while carrying canisters of nitroglycerine in Vertical Limit, starring Chris O'Donnell and Bill Paxton, from the year 2000! Next, we get a good look at famous celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay as he tries his hand at his most ambitious project yet in the new docuseries, Being Gordon Ramsay. And last, it's the tragic story of the Von Erich wrestling family as they deal with huge victories and personal losses in The Iron Claw, from 2023, starring Zac Efron and Jeremy Allen White. All of this plus the Fifty Shades trilogy, a man not called Otto, dinosaurs, a big red dog, dating outside of your age, plastic, radiation, almost all of the Saw movies, and if it's still cool to say, "By order of the Peaky Blinders!" got a suggestion for the show?: whatsnewtonetflix@gmail.com

Christian Mikkelsen er komiker, improvisatør og skuespiller. Hans forhold til anger dreier seg først og fremst om barna, og han kan angre på tilfeller han er stressa og ikke får brukt nok tid sammen med dem. Vi snakker bl.a. om å prøve å balansere livet riktig hver dag, at tre sesonger med «Humoretaten» har føltes ut som det har tatt tre år å lage fordi det har vært så intenst, å starte i ny jobb samtidig som det er innkjøring i barnehagen, å ha blitt mer trygg på seg selv som komiker og flinkere til å skrive, å bli bedre på å legge fra seg ideer som han merker at folk ikke får helt fot på, gleden av å endelig lage podcast sammen med vennene sine i Bare Moro Impro igjen, å være litt tom for ideer etter et år med veldig mye jobbing, hvordan det er å komme inn i et prosjekt med en konstruert gjeng som ikke kjenner hverandre så godt fra før og finne ut av sine og andres styrker, at man ikke vil se seg selv utenfra som nordmann, å plutselig befinne seg i en episode av «The Trip» med Steve Coogan og Rob Brydon på en helt alminnelig togtur og en god del om helt ukjente folk som kommer langt i «Stjernekamp», at Stellan Skarsgård er så flink at han har kommet unna med en svensk-engelsk i alle år, å aldri ha fått gjennom sketsjen «Fifty Shades of helt greit» i noen TV-produksjoner og at «Dag» er den beste serien som er laget.Programleder: Sivert MoeSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/anger. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 17 of Midnight Sun, 'Confessions', in which Edward performs exposure therapy, conducts some landscaping, and analyses his Spotify Wrapped while in the arena of visions...'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Long before publishing executives "discovered" the internet, a very dedicated group of fans had already built their own literary universe complete with sacred terminology, power hierarchies, and enough drama to make the actual source material blush. This week, Reese and Iman sit down with the iconic Christina Lauren duo, Christina Hobbs and Lauren Billings (@christinalauren), to dissect fanfiction's glow-up from AO3 comment sections to genuine big business. We're getting into the culty dialect (slash, ship AU, canon, OTP), the plagiarism scandals, the parasocial power trips, and the Fifty Shades pipeline that proved E.L. James wasn't the only one who could monetize her Twilight feelings. Press play, culties, your kudos await. Subscribe to Sounds Like A Cult on Youtube!Follow us on IG @soundslikeacultpod, @amanda_montell, @reesaronii, @chelseaxcharles, @imanharirikia.  Come see Sounds Like A Cult LIVE at The Bell House in New York on April 21st! Tickets at amandamontell.com/events Thank you to our sponsors!  Join the loyalty program for renters at https://joinbilt.com/cult Take 20% off your first purchase with code CULT at https://LIQUIDIV.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Oh, you're curious about or into BDSM?You have a mental disorderYou must be unhappyYou had a traumatic childhoodYou're dominant? All that means is you cannot take no for an answer. Oh, I'm sorry, you're actually submissive? Well, that is just kink slang for someone who cannot make decisions.There are so many myths and misconceptions when it comes to mental health and BDSM, D/S, and kink. These often hurtful fallacies do more than just sting in the moment; they can causesomeone to not embrace a core part of who they are. Plus, they are so common that it is easy to come to believe there must be truths attached to them.This episode dissects the myths using peer-reviewed research, and I promise it is not a boring psych lecture.Find out what the research actually tells us!Please note: While this covers some of the common misconceptions about mental health and BDSM, this is by no means a complete list. The research reflects patterns across populations, not a universal experience. Individual journeys vary, and that is worth acknowledging.Sources:Wismeijer, A.A. and Van Assen, M.A. "PsychologicalCharacteristics of BDSM Practitioners." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2013) 10:1943Lecuona, O., Martínez-Barajas, O., Gimeno-Martín, A., et al."Not Twisted, Just Kinky: Replication and Structural Invariance of Attachment, Personality, and Well-Being Among BDSM Practitioners." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2025) 72(6):1079-1108Sagarin, B.J., Cutler, B., Cutler, N., et al. "HormonalChanges and Couple Bonding in Consensual Sadomasochistic Activity." Archives of Sexual Behavior (2009) 38:186-200Brown, A., Barker, E.D., Rahman, Q. "A SystematicScoping Review of the Prevalence, Etiological, Psychological, and Interpersonal Factors Associated with BDSM." Journal of Sex Research (2020) 57(6):781-811Holvoet, L., Huys, W., Coppens, V., Seeuws, J., Goethals,K., and Morrens, M. "Fifty Shades of Belgian Gray: The Prevalence of BDSM-Related Fantasies and Activities in the General Population." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2017) 14:1152-1159Pliskin, A.E. "Social and Emotional Intelligence (SEI)in BDSM." Journal of Positive Sexuality (2018) 4(2):48-55Jansen, K.L., Fried, A.L., and Chamberlain, J. "An Examination of Empathy and Interpersonal Dominance in BDSM Practitioners."Journal of Sexual Medicine (2021) 18(3):549-555

Join me for a break down of Chapter 16 of Midnight Sun, 'The Knot', in which Edward gets his arms out, Bella is a goldfish serial killer, and Stephenie continues to blue-ball us with this darn meadow... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 15 of Midnight Sun, 'Probability', in which the meadow may now be a metaphor, Edward picks out a skimpy outfit, and Carlisle is filled with gay Christmas cheer... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Fanfiction February! This month Movies That Raised Us will be celebrating Valentines Day all month long with your favorite fics come to life. Pour yourself a glass of wine, light a candle, and dig up your AO3 passwords!       Mo and Christina take on their final fic of the month, 2015's Fifty Shades of Grey. Featuring special guest Sarah Elizabeth Gallagher, sit back as they discuss BDSM backlash, Twilight parallels, and how Ana and Christian's toxic relationship took the world by storm.                                             Our Patreon is LIVE!  https://www.patreon.com/moviesthatraisedus We are thrilled to launch our Patreon with exciting perks such as a listener picked bonus movie episode, exclusive Discord, being added to our Close Friends, and a personalized thank you note!   Our merch shop is live! Check out our Raymond the Lifeguard design and so much more!! https://tinyurl.com/vxpbczup    Follow us on instagram @moviesthatraisedus   Follow us on tiktok @moviesthatraiseduspod  Follow us on twitter @mtru_pod     Do you have a movie you want us to cover next? Fill out our form! https://forms.gle/fU5vRfTk8K5Gb7cD8

Join me for a break down of Chapter 14 of Midnight Sun, 'Closer', in which Renee is like a deer or a sparrow, Alice finally meets Bella, and the bat faced little nuisance might be killed tomorrow... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Episode #162! We have a good old chat about all sorts but most especially about: The Beast In Me Wonder Man A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms Arcane Primal Small Prophets Game Reviews Listener Question and lots more! Contact us oeshock@outlook.com Thanks for listening! John & Rob

Join me for a break down of Chapter 13 of Midnight Sun, 'Another Complication', in which Edward and Bella bond over Linkin Park, the Cullens make a bet, and the sun never sets on Phoenix... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Daily Mail uncovered a sexually graphic poem penned by the Democrat from California apparently written when he was 19 years old ... and it is wild! Titled "Hungover From Burgundy," the poem describes two lovers who meet at the top of a hotel for "formless and magnificent" sex. San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan has bristled at being labeled right-leaning while stressing he’s a lifelong Democrat. His hiring of a self-described conservative to run his California governor campaign could fuel fresh skepticism. Voter records show Mahan’s 23-year-old campaign manager, Adrian Rafizadeh, registered as a Republican in 2020. Governor Gavin Newsom announced an expanded partnership between California and the United Kingdom to tackle climate change and promote sustainable development together. He concluded the trip at UK clean-tech unicorn Octopus Energy, which is committing nearly $1 billion to California companies and projects focused on clean technologies and nature-based solutions. Please Like, Comment and Follow 'Philip Teresi on KMJ' on all platforms: --- Philip Teresi on KMJ is available on the KMJNOW app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever else you listen to podcasts. -- Philip Teresi on KMJ Weekdays 2-6 PM Pacific on News/Talk 580 AM & 105.9 FM KMJ | Website | Facebook | Instagram | X | Podcast | Amazon | - Everything KMJ KMJNOW App | Podcasts | Facebook | X | Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

North Texas Winter Wine TrailTexas Wine Collective “Taste of Texas: Mac & Cheese”Grapevine Springs Winery Valentine's Wine TrailBending Branch Winery at the San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo Wine Garden SeminarHye Meadow Winery “Scavengers of the Lost Vintage”Spicewood Vineyards Pair it with the Claret Chili Cook-OffThe Pourfectionist and Fifty Shades of Grape “Where Grit Meets Grapes” - Elisa Christopher Wine TastingThe Texas Wine Growers 100% Texas Tasting Experience

Jen and Pumps welcome Ana Kasparian to our weekly ANTIFA meeting.Order our book, join our Substack, shop our merch, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast.Thank you to our sponsors:Zip Recruiter: 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it FOR FREE at https://ZipRecruiter.com/HADIT.IQ Bar: Text HADIT to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.FX's Love Story: FX's Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette.Premieres tonight on FX, Hulu, and Hulu on Disney+ for bundlesubscribers.Quince: Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to https://Quince.com/hadit for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Monarch: Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch. The all-in-one tool that makes proactive money management simple, all year long. Use code HADIT at https://monarch.com for half off your first year.Follow Us:I've Had It Podcast: @IvehaditpodcastJennifer Welch: @mizzwelchAngie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumpsSpecial guest: Ana Kasparian @AnaKasparian ​See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join me for a break down of Chapter 12 of Midnight Sun, 'Complications' in which Angela finally gets her present, Emmett flexes his acting chops, and Bella gets in a fight with a badminton racquet and loses... 'Breaking Down Bad Books' is a podcast analysing trashy bestsellers from a literary perspective. Currently breaking down Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun - a re-purposing of Twilight from Edward's POV.Sign up to be a patron at www.patreon.com/breakingdownbadbooks for access to exclusive bonus episodes breaking down Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets every week, as well as a back catalogue analysing Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed, and The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.Read along with me and let me know your thoughts on Instagram @breakingdownbadbooks or email me at breakingdownpod@gmail.com.Hosted by Nathan Brown, who you can find on Instagram @nathanbrown90 or YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@nathanpatrickbrown. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/breaking-down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi Librarian Nation! This week we are discussing Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, the now-ubiquitous tale of Bella Swan and the vampire who just can't quit her, Edward Cullen. This story has, of course, been widely read and adapted into famous films, and I was so happy to discuss it with this week's guests, Christina and Lelia from fellow Richmond book podcast Burn Before Reading!I was on Burn Before Reading last week talking about being a librarian during the Fifty Shades of Grey craze, so please go check it out (heads up that Burn Before Reading is for mature audiences only!).Burn Before Reading Podcast is where hosts Christina Kann and Lelia Hilton in an exploration of bad writing, cringey memories, and scandalous literary history. The cringe factor of literature is as ancient as writing itself, and Burn Before Reading is here to explore it all. Every week, Christina & Lelia delve into the story of a piece of writing, a writer, a movement, or a memory to unpack the people they used to be and appreciate how far they've come!O-Positive Party Punch (from Slugs on the Refrigerator Blog)Ingredients (per glass):3 oz. cranberry juice2 oz.pomegranate juice3 oz.sparkling waterSqueeze of fresh orangeInstructions:Fill a glass with ice.Add cranberry and pomegranate juices.Squeeze in orange and stir.Top with sparkling water and a thin apple slice.In this EpisodeVote for DITL in Style Weekly's Best of Richmond 2026Drinks in the Library Merch!The Butterfly EffectMean Girls FilmThis is the Skin of a Killer, Bella!The Byrd TheaterBooks by Stephenie MeyerSinners FilmBury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil by VE Schwab

What if the most transformative thing you can do for your writing craft and author business is to face what you fear? How can you can find gold in your Shadow in the year ahead? In this episode, I share chapters from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words. In the intro, curated book boxes from Bridgerton's Julia Quinn; Google's agentic shopping, and powering Apple's Siri; ChatGPT Ads; and Claude CoWork. Balancing Certainty and Uncertainty [MoonShots with Tony Robbins]; and three trends for authors with me and Orna Ross [Self-Publishing with ALLi Podcast]; plus, Bones of the Deep, Business for Authors, and Indie Author Lab. This show is supported by my Patrons. Join my Community at Patreon.com/thecreativepenn  Joanna Penn writes non-fiction for authors and is an award-winning, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of thrillers, dark fantasy, and memoir as J.F. Penn. She's also an award-winning podcaster, creative entrepreneur, and international professional speaker. What is the Shadow? The ‘creative wound' and the Shadow in writing The Shadow in traditional publishing The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author The Shadow in work The Shadow in money You can find Writing the Shadow in all formats on all stores, as well as special edition, workbook and bundles at www.TheCreativePenn.com/shadowbook Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words The following chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn. Introduction. What is the Shadow? “How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.” —C.G. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul We all have a Shadow side and it is the work of a lifetime to recognise what lies within and spin that base material into gold. Think of it as a seedling in a little pot that you're given when you're young. It's a bit misshapen and weird, not something you would display in your living room, so you place it in a dark corner of the basement. You don't look at it for years. You almost forget about it. Then one day you notice tendrils of something wild poking up through the floorboards. They're ugly and don't fit with your Scandi-minimalist interior design. You chop the tendrils away and pour weedkiller on what's left, trying to hide the fact that they were ever there. But the creeping stems keep coming. At some point, you know you have to go down there and face the wild thing your seedling has become. When you eventually pluck up enough courage to go down into the basement, you discover that the plant has wound its roots deep into the foundations of your home. Its vines weave in and out of the cracks in the walls, and it has beautiful flowers and strange fruit. It holds your world together. Perhaps you don't need to destroy the wild tendrils. Perhaps you can let them wind up into the light and allow their rich beauty to weave through your home. It will change the look you have so carefully cultivated, but maybe that's just what the place needs. The Shadow in psychology Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychologist and the founder of analytical psychology. He described the Shadow as an unconscious aspect of the human personality, those parts of us that don't match up to what is expected of us by family and society, or to our own ideals. The Shadow is not necessarily evil or illegal or immoral, although of course it can be. It's also not necessarily caused by trauma, abuse, or any other severely damaging event, although again, it can be. It depends on the individual. What is in your Shadow is based on your life and your experiences, as well as your culture and society, so it will be different for everyone. Psychologist Connie Zweig, in The Inner Work of Age, explains, “The Shadow is that part of us that lies beneath or behind the light of awareness. It contains our rejected, unacceptable traits and feelings. It contains our hidden gifts and talents that have remained unexpressed or unlived. As Jung put it, the essence of the Shadow is pure gold.” To further illustrate the concept, Robert Bly, in A Little Book on the Human Shadow,uses the following metaphor: “When we are young, we carry behind us an invisible bag, into which we stuff any feelings, thoughts, or behaviours that bring disapproval or loss of love—anger, tears, neediness, laziness. By the time we go to school, our bags are already a mile long. In high school, our peer groups pressure us to stuff the bags with even more—individuality, sexuality, spontaneity, different opinions. We spend our life until we're twenty deciding which parts of ourselves to put into the bag and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.” As authors, we can use what's in the ‘bag' to enrich our writing — but only if we can access it. My intention with this book is to help you venture into your Shadow and bring some of what's hidden into the light and into your words. I'll reveal aspects of my Shadow in these pages but ultimately, this book is about you. Your Shadow is unique. There may be elements we share, but much will be different. Each chapter has questions for you to consider that may help you explore at least the edges of your Shadow, but it's not easy. As Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” But take heart, Creative. You don't need courage when things are easy. You need it when you know what you face will be difficult, but you do it anyway. We are authors. We know how to do hard things. We turn ideas into books. We manifest thoughts into ink on paper. We change lives with our writing. First, our own, then other people's. It's worth the effort to delve into Shadow, so I hope you will join me on the journey. The creative wound and the Shadow in writing “Whatever pain you can't get rid of, make it your creative offering.” —Susan Cain, Bittersweet  The more we long for something, the more extreme our desire, the more likely it is to have a Shadow side. For those of us who love books, the author life may well be a long-held dream and thus, it is filled with Shadow. Books have long been objects of desire, power, and authority. They hold a mythic status in our lives. We escaped into stories as children; we studied books at school and college; we read them now for escape and entertainment, education and inspiration. We collect beautiful books to put on our shelves. We go to them for solace and answers to the deepest questions of life. Writers are similarly held in high esteem. They shape culture, win literary prizes, give important speeches, and are quoted in the mainstream media. Their books are on the shelves in libraries and bookstores. Writers are revered, held up as rare, talented creatures made separate from us by their brilliance and insight. For bibliophile children, books were everything and to write one was a cherished dream. To become an author? Well, that would mean we might be someone special, someone worthy. Perhaps when you were young, you thought the dream of being a writer was possible — then you told someone about it. That's probably when you heard the first criticism of such a ridiculous idea, the first laughter, the first dismissal. So you abandoned the dream, pushed the idea of being a writer into the Shadow, and got on with your life. Or if it wasn't then, it came later, when you actually put pen to paper and someone — a parent, teacher, partner, or friend, perhaps even a literary agent or publisher, someone whose opinion you valued — told you it was worthless. Here are some things you might have heard: Writing is a hobby. Get a real job. You're not good enough. You don't have any writing talent. You don't have enough education. You don't know what you're doing. Your writing is derivative / unoriginal / boring / useless / doesn't make sense. The genre you write in is dead / worthless / unacceptable / morally wrong / frivolous / useless.  Who do you think you are? No one would want to read what you write. You can't even use proper grammar, so how could you write a whole book? You're wasting your time. You'll never make it as a writer. You shouldn't write those things (or even think about those things). Why don't you write something nice? Insert other derogatory comment here! Mark Pierce describes the effect of this experience in his book The Creative Wound, which “occurs when an event, or someone's actions or words, pierce you, causing a kind of rift in your soul. A comment—even offhand and unintentional—is enough to cause one.” He goes on to say that such words can inflict “damage to the core of who we are as creators. It is an attack on our artistic identity, resulting in us believing that whatever we make is somehow tainted or invalid, because shame has convinced us there is something intrinsically tainted or invalid about ourselves.” As adults, we might brush off such wounds, belittling them as unimportant in the grand scheme of things. We might even find ourselves saying the same words to other people. After all, it's easier to criticise than to create. But if you picture your younger self, bright eyed as you lose yourself in your favourite book, perhaps you might catch a glimpse of what you longed for before your dreams were dashed on the rocks of other people's reality. As Mark Pierce goes on to say, “A Creative Wound has the power to delay our pursuits—sometimes for years—and it can even derail our lives completely… Anything that makes us feel ashamed of ourselves or our work can render us incapable of the self-expression we yearn for.” This is certainly what happened to me, and it took decades to unwind. Your creative wounds will differ to mine but perhaps my experience will help you explore your own. To be clear, your Shadow may not reside in elements of horror as mine do, but hopefully you can use my example to consider where your creative wounds might lie. “You shouldn't write things like that.” It happened at secondary school around 1986 or 1987, so I would have been around eleven or twelve years old. English was one of my favourite subjects and the room we had our lessons in looked out onto a vibrant garden. I loved going to that class because it was all about books, and they were always my favourite things. One day, we were asked to write a story. I can't remember the specifics of what the teacher asked us to write, but I fictionalised a recurring nightmare. I stood in a dark room. On one side, my mum and my brother, Rod, were tied up next to a cauldron of boiling oil, ready to be thrown in. On the other side, my dad and my little sister, Lucy, were threatened with decapitation by men with machetes. I had to choose who would die. I always woke up, my heart pounding, before I had to choose. Looking back now, it clearly represented an internal conflict about having to pick sides between the two halves of my family. Not an unexpected issue from a child of divorce. Perhaps these days, I might have been sent to the school counsellor, but it was the eighties and I don't think we even had such a thing. Even so, the meaning of the story isn't the point. It was the reaction to it that left scars. “You shouldn't write things like that,” my teacher said, and I still remember her look of disappointment, even disgust. Certainly judgment. She said my writing was too dark. It wasn't a proper story. It wasn't appropriate for the class. As if horrible things never happened in stories — or in life. As if literature could not include dark tales. As if the only acceptable writing was the kind she approved of. We were taught The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie that year, which says a lot about the type of writing considered appropriate. Or perhaps the issue stemmed from the school motto, “So hateth she derknesse,” from Chaucer's The Legend of Good Women: “For fear of night, so she hates the darkness.” I had won a scholarship to a private girls' school, and their mission was to turn us all into proper young ladies. Horror was never on the curriculum. Perhaps if my teacher had encouraged me to write my darkness back then, my nightmares would have dissolved on the page. Perhaps if we had studied Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, or H.P. Lovecraft stories, or Bram Stoker's Dracula, I could have embraced the darker side of literature earlier in my life. My need to push darker thoughts into my Shadow was compounded by my (wonderful) mum's best intentions. We were brought up on the principles of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and she tried to shield me and my brother from anything harmful or horrible. We weren't allowed to watch TV much, and even the British school drama Grange Hill was deemed inappropriate. So much of what I've achieved is because my mum instilled in me a “can do” attitude that anything is possible. I'm so grateful to her for that. (I love you, Mum!) But all that happy positivity, my desire to please her, to be a good girl, to make my teachers proud, and to be acceptable to society, meant that I pushed my darker thoughts into Shadow. They were inappropriate. They were taboo. They must be repressed, kept secret, and I must be outwardly happy and positive at all times. You cannot hold back the darkness “The night is dark and full of terrors.” —George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords It turned out that horror was on the curriculum, much of it in the form of educational films we watched during lessons. In English Literature, we watched Romeo drink poison and Juliet stab herself in Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. In Religious Studies, we watched Jesus beaten, tortured, and crucified in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and learned of the variety of gruesome ways that Christian saints were martyred. In Classical Civilisation, we watched gladiators slaughter each other in Spartacus. In Sex Education at the peak of the AIDS crisis in the mid-'80s, we were told of the many ways we could get infected and die. In History, we studied the Holocaust with images of skeletal bodies thrown into mass graves, medical experiments on humans, and grainy videos of marching soldiers giving the Nazi salute. One of my first overseas school field trips was to the World War I battlegrounds of Flanders Fields in Belgium, where we studied the inhuman conditions of the trenches, walked through mass graves, and read war poetry by candlelight. As John McCrae wrote: We are the Dead. Short days agoWe lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields. Did the teachers not realise how deeply a sensitive teenager might feel the darkness of that place? Or have I always been unusual in that places of blood echo deep inside me? And the horrors kept coming. We lived in Bristol, England back then and I learned at school how the city had been part of the slave trade, its wealth built on the backs of people stolen from their homes, sold, and worked to death in the colonies. I had been at school for a year in Malawi, Africa and imagined the Black people I knew drowning, being beaten, and dying on those ships. In my teenage years, the news was filled with ethnic cleansing, mass rape, and massacres during the Balkan wars, and images of bodies hacked apart during the Rwandan genocide. Evil committed by humans against other humans was not a historical aberration. I'm lucky and I certainly acknowledge my privilege. Nothing terrible or horrifying has happened to me — but bad things certainly happen to others. I wasn't bullied or abused. I wasn't raped or beaten or tortured. But you don't have to go through things to be afraid of them, and for your imagination to conjure the possibility of them. My mum doesn't read my fiction now as it gives her nightmares (Sorry, Mum!). I know she worries that somehow she's responsible for my darkness, but I've had a safe and (mostly) happy life, for which I'm truly grateful. But the world is not an entirely safe and happy place, and for a sensitive child with a vivid imagination, the world is dark and scary. It can be brutal and violent, and bad things happen, even to good people. No parent can shield their child from the reality of the world. They can only help them do their best to live in it, develop resilience, and find ways to deal with whatever comes. Story has always been a way that humans have used to learn how to live and deal with difficult times. The best authors, the ones that readers adore and can't get enough of, write their darkness into story to channel their experience, and help others who fear the same. In an interview on writing the Shadow on The Creative Penn Podcast, Michaelbrent Collings shared how he incorporated a personally devastating experience into his writing:  “My wife and I lost a child years back, and that became the root of one of my most terrifying books, Apparition. It's not terrifying because it's the greatest book of all time, but just the concept that there's this thing out there… like a demon, and it consumes the blood and fear of the children, and then it withdraws and consumes the madness of the parents… I wrote that in large measure as a way of working through what I was experiencing.” I've learned much from Michaelbrent. I've read many of his (excellent) books and he's been on my podcast multiple times talking about his depression and mental health issues, as well as difficulties in his author career. Writing darkness is not in Michaelbrent's Shadow and only he can say what lies there for him. But from his example, and from that of other authors, I too learned how to write my Shadow into my books. Twenty-three years after that English lesson, in November 2009, I did NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, and wrote five thousand words of what eventually became Stone of Fire, my first novel. In the initial chapter, I burned a nun alive on the ghats of Varanasi on the banks of the Ganges River. I had watched the bodies burn by night on pyres from a boat bobbing in the current a few years before, and the image was still crystal clear in my mind. The only way to deal with how it made me feel about death was to write about it — and since then, I've never stopped writing. Returning to the nightmare from my school days, I've never had to choose between the two halves of my family, but the threat of losing them remains a theme in my fiction. In my ARKANE thriller series, Morgan Sierra will do anything to save her sister and her niece. Their safety drives her to continue to fight against evil. Our deepest fears emerge in our writing, and that's the safest place for them. I wish I'd been taught how to turn my nightmares into words back at school, but at least now I've learned to write my Shadow onto the page. I wish the same for you. The Shadow in traditional publishing If becoming an author is your dream, then publishing a book is deeply entwined with that. But as Mark Pierce says in The Creative Wound, “We feel pain the most where it matters the most… Desire highlights whatever we consider to be truly significant.” There is a lot of desire around publishing for those of us who love books! It can give you: Validation that your writing is good enough Status and credibility Acceptance by an industry held in esteem  The potential of financial reward and critical acclaim Support from a team of professionals who know how to make fantastic books A sense of belonging to an elite community Pride in achieving a long-held goal, resulting in a confidence boost and self-esteem Although not guaranteed, traditional publishing can give you all these things and more, but as with everything, there is a potential Shadow side. Denying it risks the potential of being disillusioned, disappointed, and even damaged. But remember, forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes. Preparation can help you avoid potential issues and help you feel less alone if you encounter them. The myth of success… and the reality of experience There is a pervasive myth of success in the traditional publishing industry, perpetuated by media reporting on brand name and breakout authors, those few outliers whose experience is almost impossible to replicate. Because of such examples, many new traditionally published authors think that their first book will hit the top of the bestseller charts or win an award, as well as make them a million dollars — or at least a big chunk of cash. They will be able to leave their job, write in a beautiful house overlooking the ocean, and swan around the world attending conferences, while writing more bestselling books. It will be a charmed life. But that is not the reality. Perhaps it never was. Even so, the life of a traditionally published author represents a mythic career with the truth hidden behind a veil of obscurity. In April 2023, The Bookseller in the UK reported that “more than half of authors (54%) responding to a survey on their experiences of publishing their debut book have said the process negatively affected their mental health. Though views were mixed, just 22%… described a positive experience overall… Among the majority who said they had a negative experience of debut publication, anxiety, stress, depression and ‘lowered' self-esteem were cited, with lack of support, guidance or clear and professional communication from their publisher among the factors that contributed.” Many authors who have negative experiences around publishing will push them into the Shadow with denial or self-blame, preferring to keep the dream alive. They won't talk about things in public as this may negatively affect their careers, but private discussions are often held in the corners of writing conferences or social media groups online. Some of the issues are as follows: Repeated rejection by agents and publishers may lead to the author thinking they are not good enough as a writer, which can lead to feeling unworthy as a person. If an author gets a deal, the amount of advance and the name and status of the publisher compared to others create a hierarchy that impacts self-esteem. A deal for a book may be much lower than an author might have been expecting, with low or no advance, and the resulting experience with the publisher beneath expectations. The launch process may be disappointing, and the book may appear without fanfare, with few sales and no bestseller chart position. In The Bookseller report, one author described her launch day as “a total wasteland… You have expectations about what publication day will be like, but in reality, nothing really happens.” The book may receive negative reviews by critics or readers or more publicly on social media, which can make an author feel attacked. The book might not sell as well as expected, and the author may feel like it's their fault. Commercial success can sometimes feel tied to self-worth and an author can't help but compare their sales to others, with resulting embarrassment or shame. The communication from the publisher may be less than expected. One author in The Bookseller report said, “I was shocked by the lack of clarity and shared information and the cynicism that underlies the superficial charm of this industry.” There is often more of a focus on debut authors in publishing houses, so those who have been writing and publishing in the midlist for years can feel ignored and undervalued. In The Bookseller report, 48 percent of authors reported “their publisher supported them for less than a year,” with one saying, “I got no support and felt like a commodity, like the team had moved on completely to the next book.” If an author is not successful enough, the next deal may be lower than the last, less effort is made with marketing, and they may be let go. In The Bookseller report, “six authors—debut and otherwise—cited being dropped by their publisher, some with no explanation.” Even if everything goes well and an author is considered successful by others, they may experience imposter syndrome, feeling like a fraud when speaking at conferences or doing book signings. And the list goes on … All these things can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and embarrassment; loss of status in the eyes of peers; and a sense of failure if a publishing career is not successful enough. The author feels like it's their fault, like they weren't good enough — although, of course, the reality is that the conditions were not right at the time. A failure of a book is not a failure of the person, but it can certainly feel like it! When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Despite all the potential negatives of traditional publishing, if you know what could happen, you can mitigate them. You can prepare yourself for various scenarios and protect yourself from potential fall-out. It's clear from The Bookseller report that too many authors have unrealistic expectations of the industry. But publishers are businesses, not charities. It's not their job to make you feel good as an author. It's their job to sell books and pay you. The best thing they can do is to continue to be a viable business so they can keep putting books on the shelves and keep paying authors, staff, and company shareholders. When you license your creative work to a publisher, you're giving up control of your intellectual property in exchange for money and status. Bring your fears and issues out of the Shadow, acknowledge them, and deal with them early, so they do not get pushed down and re-emerge later in blame and bitterness. Educate yourself on the business of publishing. Be clear on what you want to achieve with any deal. Empower yourself as an author, take responsibility for your career, and you will have a much better experience. The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author Self-publishing, or being an independent (indie) author, can be a fantastic, pro-active choice for getting your book into the world. Holding your first book in your hand and saying “I made this” is pretty exciting, and even after more than forty books, I still get excited about seeing ideas in my head turn into a physical product in the world. Self-publishing can give an author: Creative control over what to write, editorial and cover design choices, when and how often to publish, and how to market Empowerment over your author career and the ability to make choices that impact success without asking for permission Ownership and control of intellectual property assets, resulting in increased opportunity around licensing and new markets Independence and the potential for recurring income for the long term Autonomy and flexibility around timelines, publishing options, and the ability to easily pivot into new genres and business models Validation based on positive reader reviews and money earned Personal growth and learning through the acquisition of new skills, resulting in a boost in confidence and self-esteem A sense of belonging to an active and vibrant community of indie authors around the world Being an indie author can give you all this and more, but once again, there is a Shadow side and preparation can help you navigate potential issues. The myth of success… and the reality of experience As with traditional publishing, the indie author world has perpetuated a myth of success in the example of the breakout indie author like E.L. James with Fifty Shades of Grey, Hugh Howey with Wool, or Andy Weir with The Martian. The emphasis on financial success is also fuelled online by authors who share screenshots showing six-figure months or seven-figure years, without sharing marketing costs and other outgoings, or the amount of time spent on the business. Yes, these can inspire some, but it can also make others feel inadequate and potentially lead to bad choices about how to publish and market based on comparison. The indie author world is full of just as much ego and a desire for status and money as traditional publishing. This is not a surprise! Most authors, regardless of publishing choices, are a mix of massive ego and chronic self-doubt. We are human, so the same issues will re-occur. A different publishing method doesn't cure all ills. Some of the issues are as follows: You learn everything you need to know about writing and editing, only to find that you need to learn a whole new set of skills in order to self-publish and market your book. This can take a lot of time and effort you did not expect, and things change all the time so you have to keep learning. Being in control of every aspect of the publishing process, from writing to cover design to marketing, can be overwhelming, leading to indecision, perfectionism, stress, and even burnout as you try to do all the things. You try to find people to help, but building your team is a challenge, and working with others has its own difficulties. People say negative things about self-publishing that may arouse feelings of embarrassment or shame. These might be little niggles, but they needle you, nonetheless. You wonder whether you made the right choice. You struggle with self-doubt and if you go to an event with traditional published authors, you compare yourself to them and feel like an imposter. Are you good enough to be an author if a traditional publisher hasn't chosen you? Is it just vanity to self-publish? Are your books unworthy? Even though you worked with a professional editor, you still get one-star reviews and you hate criticism from readers. You wonder whether you're wasting your time. You might be ripped off by an author services company who promise the world, only to leave you with a pile of printed books in your garage and no way to sell them. When you finally publish your book, it languishes at the bottom of the charts while other authors hit the top of the list over and over, raking in the cash while you are left out of pocket. You don't admit to over-spending on marketing as it makes you ashamed. You resist book marketing and make critical comments about writers who embrace it. You believe that quality rises to the top and if a book is good enough, people will buy it anyway. This can lead to disappointment and disillusionment when you launch your book and it doesn't sell many copies because nobody knows about it. You try to do what everyone advises, but you still can't make decent money as an author. You're jealous of other authors' success and put it down to them ‘selling out' or writing things you can't or ‘using AI' or ‘using a ghostwriter' or having a specific business model you consider impossible to replicate. And the list goes on… When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Being in control of your books and your author career is a double-edged sword. Traditionally published authors can criticise their publishers or agents or the marketing team or the bookstores or the media, but indie authors have to take responsibility for it all. Sure, we can blame ‘the algorithms' or social media platforms, or criticise other authors for having more experience or more money to invest in marketing, or attribute their success to writing in a more popular genre — but we also know there are always people who do well regardless of the challenges. Once more, we're back to acknowledging and integrating the Shadow side of our choices. We are flawed humans. There will always be good times and bad, and difficulties to offset the high points. This too shall pass, as the old saying goes. I know that being an indie author has plenty of Shadow. I've been doing this since 2008 and despite the hard times, I'm still here. I'm still writing. I'm still publishing. This life is not for everyone, but it's my choice. You must make yours. The Shadow in work You work hard. You make a living. Nothing wrong with that attitude, right? It's what we're taught from an early age and, like so much of life, it's not a problem until it goes to extremes. Not achieving what you want to? Work harder. Can't get ahead? Work harder. Not making a good enough living? Work harder. People who don't work hard are lazy. They don't deserve handouts or benefits. People who don't work hard aren't useful, so they are not valued members of our culture and community. But what about the old or the sick, the mentally ill, or those with disabilities? What about children? What about the unemployed? The under-employed? What about those who are — or will be — displaced by technology, those called “the useless class” by historian Yuval Noah Harari in his book Homo Deus? What if we become one of these in the future? Who am I if I cannot work? The Shadow side of my attitude to work became clear when I caught COVID in the summer of 2021. I was the sickest I'd ever been. I spent two weeks in bed unable to even think properly, and six weeks after that, I was barely able to work more than an hour a day before lying in the dark and waiting for my energy to return. I was limited in what I could do for another six months after that. At times, I wondered if I would ever get better. Jonathan kept urging me to be patient and rest. But I don't know how to rest. I know how to work and how to sleep. I can do ‘active rest,' which usually involves walking a long way or traveling somewhere interesting, but those require a stronger mind and body than I had during those months. It struck me that even if I recovered from the virus, I had glimpsed my future self. One day, I will be weak in body and mind. If I'm lucky, that will be many years away and hopefully for a short time before I die — but it will happen. I am an animal. I will die. My body and mind will pass on and I will be no more. Before then I will be weak. Before then, I will be useless. Before then, I will be a burden. I will not be able to work… But who am I if I cannot work? What is the point of me? I can't answer these questions right now, because although I recognise them as part of my Shadow, I've not progressed far enough to have dealt with them entirely. My months of COVID gave me some much-needed empathy for those who cannot work, even if they want to. We need to reframe what work is as a society, and value humans for different things, especially as technology changes what work even means. That starts with each of us. “Illness, affliction of body and soul, can be life-altering. It has the potential to reveal the most fundamental conflict of the human condition: the tension between our infinite, glorious dreams and desires and our limited, vulnerable, decaying physicality.” —Connie Zweig, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul The Shadow in money In the Greek myth, King Midas was a wealthy ruler who loved gold above all else. His palace was adorned with golden sculptures and furniture, and he took immense pleasure in his riches. Yet, despite his vast wealth, he yearned for more. After doing a favour for Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry, Midas was granted a single wish. Intoxicated by greed, he wished that everything he touched would turn to gold — and it was so. At first, it was a lot of fun. Midas turned everything else in his palace to gold, even the trees and stones of his estate. After a morning of turning things to gold, he fancied a spot of lunch. But when he tried to eat, the food and drink turned to gold in his mouth. He became thirsty and hungry — and increasingly desperate. As he sat in despair on his golden throne, his beloved young daughter ran to comfort him. For a moment, he forgot his wish — and as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, she turned into a golden statue, frozen in precious metal. King Midas cried out to the gods to forgive him, to reverse the wish. He renounced his greed and gave away all his wealth, and his daughter was returned to life. The moral of the story: Wealth and greed are bad. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is described as a “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner.” He's wealthy but does not share, considering Christmas spending to be frivolous and giving to charity to be worthless. He's saved by a confrontation with his lonely future and becomes a generous man and benefactor of the poor. Wealth is good if you share it with others. The gospel of Matthew, chapter 25: 14-30, tells the parable of the bags of gold, in which a rich man goes on a journey and entrusts his servants with varying amounts of gold. On his return, the servants who multiplied the gold through their efforts and investments are rewarded, while the one who merely returned the gold with no interest is punished: “For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” Making money is good, making more money is even better. If you can't make any money, you don't deserve to have any. Within the same gospel, in Matthew 19:24, Jesus encounters a wealthy man and tells him to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor, which the man is unable to do. Jesus says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Wealth is bad. Give it all away and you'll go to heaven. With all these contradictory messages, no wonder we're so conflicted about money! How do you think and feel about money? While money is mostly tied to our work, it's far more than just a transactional object for most people. It's loaded with complex symbolism and judgment handed down by family, religion, and culture. You are likely to find elements of Shadow by examining your attitudes around money. Consider which of the following statements resonate with you or write your own. Money stresses me out. I don't want to talk about it or think about it. Some people hoard money, so there is inequality. Rich people are bad and we should take away their wealth and give it to the poor.  I can never make enough money to pay the bills, or to give my family what I want to provide. Money doesn't grow on trees.  It's wasteful to spend money as you might need it later, so I'm frugal and don't spend money unless absolutely necessary. It is better and more ethical to be poor than to be rich. I want more money. I read books and watch TV shows about rich people because I want to live like that. Sometimes I spend too much on things for a glimpse of what that might be like.  I buy lottery tickets and dream of winning all that money.  I'm jealous of people who have money. I want more of it and I resent those who have it. I'm no good with money. I don't like to look at my bank statement or credit card statement. I live off my overdraft and I'm in debt. I will never earn enough to get out of debt and start saving, so I don't think too much about it. I don't know enough about money. Talking about it makes me feel stupid, so I just ignore it. People like me aren't educated about money.  I need to make more money. If I can make lots of money, then people will look up to me. If I make lots of money, I will be secure, nothing can touch me, I will be safe.  I never want to be poor. I would be ashamed to be poor. I will never go on benefits. My net worth is my self worth. Money is good. We have the best standard of living in history because of the increase in wealth over time. Even the richest kings of the past didn't have what many middle-class people have today in terms of access to food, water, technology, healthcare, education, and more. The richest people give the most money to the poor through taxation and charity, as well as through building companies that employ people and invent new things. The very richest give away much of their fortunes. They provide far more benefit to the world than the poor.  I love money. Money loves me. Money comes easily and quickly to me. I attract money in multiple streams of income. It flows to me in so many ways. I spend money. I invest money. I give money. I'm happy and grateful for all that I receive. The Shadow around money for authors in particular Many writers and other creatives have issues around money and wealth. How often have you heard the following, and which do you agree with? You can't make money with your writing. You'll be a poor author in a garret, a starving artist.  You can't write ‘good quality' books and make money. If you make money writing, you're a hack, you're selling out. You are less worthy than someone who writes only for the Muse. Your books are commercial, not artistic. If you spend money on marketing, then your books are clearly not good enough to sell on their own. My agent / publisher / accountant / partner deals with the money side. I like to focus on the creative side of things. My money story Note: This is not financial or investment advice. Please talk to a professional about your situation. I've had money issues over the years — haven't we all! But I have been through a (long) process to bring money out of my Shadow and into the light. There will always be more to discover, but hopefully my money story will help you, or at least give you an opportunity to reflect. Like most people, I didn't grow up with a lot of money. My parents started out as teachers, but later my mum — who I lived with, along with my brother — became a change management consultant, moving to the USA and earning a lot more. I'm grateful that she moved into business because her example changed the way I saw money and provided some valuable lessons. (1) You can change your circumstances by learning more and then applying that to leverage opportunity into a new job or career Mum taught English at a school in Bristol when we moved back from Malawi, Africa, in the mid '80s but I remember how stressful it was for her, and how little money she made. She wanted a better future for us all, so she took a year out to do a master's degree in management. In the same way, when I wanted to change careers and leave consulting to become an author, I spent time and money learning about the writing craft and the business of publishing. I still invest a considerable chunk on continuous learning, as this industry changes all the time. (2) You might have to downsize in order to leap forward The year my mum did her degree, we lived in the attic of another family's house; we ate a lot of one-pot casserole and our treat was having a Yorkie bar on the walk back from the museum. We wore hand-me-down clothes, and I remember one day at school when another girl said I was wearing her dress. I denied it, of course, but there in back of the dress was her name tag. I still remember her name and I can still feel that flush of shame and embarrassment. I was determined to never feel like that again. But what I didn't realize at the time was that I was also learning the power of downsizing. Mum got her degree and then a new job in management in Bristol. She bought a house, and we settled for a few years. I had lots of different jobs as a teenager. My favourite was working in the delicatessen because we got a free lunch made from delicious produce. After I finished A-levels, I went to the University of Oxford, and my mum and brother moved to the USA for further opportunities. I've downsized multiple times over the years, taking a step back in order to take a step forward. The biggest was in 2010 when I decided to leave consulting. Jonathan and I sold our three-bedroom house and investments in Brisbane, Australia, and rented a one-bedroom flat in London, so we could be debt-free and live on less while I built up a new career. It was a decade before we bought another house. (3) Comparison can be deadly: there will always be people with more money than you Oxford was an education in many ways and relevant to this chapter is how much I didn't know about things people with money took for granted. I learned about formal hall and wine pairings, and how to make a perfect gin and tonic. I ate smoked salmon for the first time. I learned how to fit in with people who had a lot more money than I did, and I definitely wanted to have money of my own to play with. (4) Income is not wealth You can earn lots but have nothing to show for it after years of working. I learned this in my first few years of IT consulting after university. I earned a great salary and then went contracting, earning even more money at a daily rate. I had a wonderful time. I traveled, ate and drank and generally made merry, but I always had to go back to the day job when the money ran out. I couldn't work out how I could ever stop this cycle. Then I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, a book I still recommend, especially if you're from a family that values academic over financial education. I learned how to escape the rat race by building and/or accumulating assets that pay even when you're not working. It was a revelation! The ‘poor dad' in the book is a university professor. He knows so much about so many things, but he ends up poor as he did not educate himself about money. The ‘rich dad' has little formal education, but he knows about money and wealth because he learned about it, as we can do at any stage in our lives. (5) Not all investments suit every person, so find the right one for you Once I discovered the world of investing, I read all the books and did courses and in-person events. I joined communities and I up-skilled big time. Of course, I made mistakes and learned lots along the way. I tried property investing and renovated a couple of houses for rental (with more practical partners and skilled contractors). But while I could see that property investing might work for some people, I did not care enough about the details to make it work for me, and it was certainly not passive income. I tried other things. My first husband was a boat skipper and scuba diving instructor, so we started a charter. With the variable costs of fuel, the vagaries of New Zealand weather — and our divorce — it didn't last long! From all these experiments, I learned I wanted to run a business, but it needed to be online and not based on a physical location, physical premises, or other people. That was 2006, around the time that blogging started taking off and it became possible to make a living online. I could see the potential and a year later, the iPhone and the Amazon Kindle launched, which became the basis of my business as an author. (6) Boring, automatic saving and investing works best Between 2007 and 2011, I contracted in Australia, where they have compulsory superannuation contributions, meaning you have to save and invest a percentage of your salary or self-employed income. I'd never done that before, because I didn't understand it. I'd ploughed all my excess income into property or the business instead. But in Australia I didn't notice the money going out because it was automatic. I chose a particular fund and it auto-invested every month. The pot grew pretty fast since I didn't touch it, and years later, it's still growing. I discovered the power of compound interest and time in the market, both of which are super boring. This type of investing is not a get rich quick scheme. It's a slow process of automatically putting money into boring investments and doing that month in, month out, year in, year out, automatically for decades while you get on with your life. I still do this. I earn money as an author entrepreneur and I put a percentage of that into boring investments automatically every month. I also have a small amount which is for fun and higher risk investments, but mostly I'm a conservative, risk-averse investor planning ahead for the future. This is not financial advice, so I'm not giving any specifics. I have a list of recommended money books at www.TheCreativePenn.com/moneybooks if you want to learn more. Learning from the Shadow When I look back, my Shadow side around money eventually drove me to learn more and resulted in a better outcome (so far!). I was ashamed of being poor when I had to wear hand-me-down clothes at school. That drove a fear of not having any money, which partially explains my workaholism. I was embarrassed at Oxford because I didn't know how to behave in certain settings, and I wanted to be like the rich people I saw there. I spent too much money in my early years as a consultant because I wanted to experience a “rich” life and didn't understand saving and investing would lead to better things in the future. I invested too much in the wrong things because I didn't know myself well enough and I was trying to get rich quick so I could leave my job and ‘be happy.' But eventually, I discovered that I could grow my net worth with boring, long-term investments while doing a job I loved as an author entrepreneur. My only regret is that I didn't discover this earlier and put a percentage of my income into investments as soon as I started work. It took several decades to get started, but at least I did (eventually) start. My money story isn't over yet, and I keep learning new things, but hopefully my experience will help you reflect on your own and avoid the issue if it's still in Shadow. These chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn  The post Writing The Shadow: The Creative Wound, Publishing, And Money, With Joanna Penn first appeared on The Creative Penn.