From Paradox To M.A.G.I.C

There's a middle phase of transformation that gets very little attention and gives rise to the Neither Here Nor There Paradox. Navigating this phase is disorienting, overwhelming, and scary. It's easy to feel like you are failing and totally lost, when in actuality you are right in the midst of powerful transformation. This episode highlights my own traumatic experience navigating this paradox in 2012.

We spend so much of our lives trying to be safe, healthy, and not get sick, yet when we get really sick it brings people together, forces us to shift our perspective, and often transforms how we function once we get better. In this episode I examine my own experience facing the Sickness Paradox through a Covid scare. I talk about getting the cough from hell, getting to the point of praying to spirit for help, and the four words spirit shared with me to get through it. These four words helped me connect more with my depleted body, become more present, and ultimately bridge this paradox.

Who am I? What is my authentic self? Figure out who you are and live your purpose! Such messages are common these days. But so are messages that imply life is a journey of getting to know yourself. This episode examines the Authenticity Paradox and helps bridge the question how do you be authentic when your sense of self is unfolding and constantly changing as a result?  

What does it mean to be responsible? School, family, and culture all teach us certain ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving is responsible. Depending on where you grow up, what seems responsible to one group of people seems irresponsible to other groups. Yet, over time, we all shift in where we draw the lines of what is and isn't responsible. This episode bridges the Responsible Paradox and provides a consistent way to responsibly step through each day.

What makes something weird? At times we are drawn to people who stand out, who do things differently and dare to listen to sources of knowing we cannot see or touch. Other times, we feel it’s irresponsible, reckless, or strange to go off on such an uncommon or intangible path. This episode examines and bridges the Weird Paradox so you can gauge how "different" is right for you.

Is having a job, health, money, or love a luxury? Is having life more aligned a luxury? Is rock bottom a luxury if it leads many to powerful transformation? The way we define luxury is incredibly inconsistent, yet the very use of the word results in all kinds of guilt, anxiety and resistance to waking up to the incredible misalignment in our own lives. This episode examines and bridges the Luxury Paradox and shows how assuming others have it worse actually creates more harm than good for you and others.

We all want more silence in life. We pencil in self-care time. We shut off cell phones, go on vacation. We meditate, try to be mindful or present. The paradox of silence is that when you try to be silent, you aren't fully silent. Yet, silence is all around us, constantly there, staring us in the face. I’ve been trying for years to be more still and silent. But the more I wrestle with silence, the more I realize all my trying seems to get in the way of experiencing it on a far more powerful level.

Most lines we draw to describe things, whether they are measurements, evaluations, judgments, or words, to some extent are completely arbitrary and inaccurate. Yet we rely on those same lines to navigate life on a day-to-day basis. Each one of us also puts arbitrary amounts of truth, weight, or significance on the lines we draw around what it means to love, be responsible, and to keep loved ones safe. The Arbitrary Lines Paradox may sound philosophical, but understanding how to navigate it can transform every aspect of your life in the most tangible and practical ways.

Disruptions arise all around us, every minute of every day. If we push through the disruption, it can feel like an unpleasant grind. But it’s also unpleasant allowing some untimely circumstance to disrupt your schedule or plans. And sometimes disruptions arise and we roll with them without even thinking about it. This episode examines the nuances of the Disruption Paradox.

Do we really hate change? Does the body truly resist change? This episode will challenge both old and new conventional wisdom about several things including resisting change, immediate gratification, changing habits, and strategies like fake it until you make it.

Whether changing your diet or making other life changes, there's a paradoxical phase you have to go through where moving toward alignment can temporarily result in feeling worse off. In these moments, it's easy to question if you've made the right decision. This episode dives into and bridges the Detox Paradox.

Release can change the trajectory of your day and life, but it can be maddening to understand because it’s often misunderstood. This episode bridges the Release Paradox by helping you wake up to several misunderstandings. Release is an active, not passive way of navigating your day, offering energy without strain in incredibly nourishing ways. It’s the most effective path through volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. And it’s a basic law of nature and the universe. By the end of this episode, you’ll look very differently at the daily struggle to stay afloat.

With all the pain, suffering, turmoil, and uncertainty in the world, there are a lot of difficult experiences to connect to. This episode examines the Being With Paradox and the 4 ways of engaging in relationship, as described by Sam Wells in "The Nazareth Manifesto." Being With is the most powerful of the 4 ways of engaging in relationship, but it’s often the most overlooked. I speak about my own struggles with the George Floyd atrocity and how the last week forced me to be with my own ignorance, defensiveness, shame, unease, and privilege, along with the helpful and not so helpful ways I responded to my growing self-awareness.

Most of us grind away each day to try to stay clear of rock bottom, yet many of those who actually hit rock bottom describe the experience as a catalyst for so much good and a source of reassurance. In this episode I share my own story slamming into rock bottom in December 2015, when my tank hit empty and life was marked by awful health, a marriage on the rocks, career failure, and something no father wishes to experience. I end by clarifying the key distinction that bridges the Rock Bottom Paradox. Warning! You may end up no longer afraid of hitting rock bottom.

We are inspired by the notion of having faith in something beyond what we can see. But we also want tangible evidence of reality. How do we navigate all the unknowns of life, including the pandemic, when a big part of us wants to know truth we can see definitively? This episode bridges the Blind Faith Paradox and examines notions of faith in different forms: religion, love, and even going through daily life. The episode ends with a helpful way of finding reassurance in moments when our faith seems to be weakening.

Mystery and adventure versus uncertainty and the unknown. Sometimes we want mystery, other times it feels incredibly alarming. In this episode I examine the patterns around engaging the mystery and uncertainty of life. I examine 3 interesting patterns that support the notion that we are wired to embrace mystery even when life seems most turbulent. I provide a bridge to the mystery paradox and a way of responding to the moments of our day when life feels like an overwhelming grind, when we tell ourselves, “I have to do this or else!”

Why does resistance sometimes help you grow stronger, but other times leads to burning out? Why do most lifestyle change strategies all seem to imply a grinding dynamic, such as fighting against yourself and squeezing something in just 5-minutes a day? This episode examines these dynamics and what gives rise to the grind of everyday life. Grinding is not about how hard you are working, it’s a reflection of misalignment across your expectations, intentions, actions, and outcomes. Unfortunately, most of the strategies we’ve been taught to navigate life perpetuate this misalignment. This episode provides a simple way to overcome this confusion and how to navigate both forms of resistance.

This episode examines the Abundance Paradox, how we often find ourselves damned with abundance and damned without it. I talk about the many mixed messages around abundance, how the word itself is often used inconsistently, and even how a common way of practicing gratitude actually reinforces scarcity, which interferes with sensing abundance. I end with three simple ways of approaching abundance that are practical and easy to consistently embrace.

Happiness is weird. There are tons of contradictory messages around happiness, such as we choose to feel happy,  yet all feelings are valid. The contradictions that make up the Happiness Paradox stem from misunderstanding how there are 3 levels or stages of felt experience, the 1st of which is often completely overlooked. I also talk about the power of having a tantrum, the difference between emotions and feelings, and ultimately the critical distinction between Happiness with a capital "H" and happiness with a lowercase "h."

How is Coronavirus impacting your day-to-day? I feel inspired to interview people about the user experience of life during this unprecedented period. No matter your age, background, or life circumstances, no matter what part of the globe you even live on, we’re all living a day-to-day that is very different than just a few months ago. The daily grind has shifted, in some ways for the better and some ways for the worse. I ask everyone the same set of questions (see below) about how they are navigating this period, what they’ve learned, how they look at things differently, and even how has life improved amidst all the challenges. These episodes allow us all the chance to listen, relate, and learn. I am the guinea pig in this episode and answer about my own experiences. Some of the questions I ask are: What is one thing you look at differently compared to back before the pandemic? What are you most stressed or worried about these days? What do you struggle with the most? What are 3 ways life is better during this pandemic? What is one thing you’ve found helpful in navigating these times, staying sane, feeling normal in unprecedented times? A tip, a daily activity, a lesson, a perspective, a way of doing something... whatever it is that has helped you (and possibly your family) get through these days?

This episode is all about standing in your divine strength. In times like the present, it's easy to try to be strong in a way that isn't really reflective of the magnificent, divine strength within you. I speak about my own struggles with this, and how it took my amazing daughter being born to reflect back to me the truth life and God have been trying to get me to see for decades. Whether you are feeling wobbly, determined, or somewhere in-between, this episode will leave you inspired to stand in your strength, the divineness of who you really are.

This episode examines a common, unhelpful response to feeling uncertain, afraid, and not secure, which is to try to get more done or to make ourselves busier. I talk about a recent experience kidding myself into thinking working in overdrive and constantly trying to "help" was my trying to be productive. In reality, I was unwilling to slow down because it meant having to feel a lack of security or stability. I didn't want to accept the reality that what I used to associate with security and stability had been permanently altered by Coronavirus. While it doesn’t feel good at first leaning into this truth, something special happens when you give yourself and others the grace and space to do so.

Have you snapped at a loved one yet? If you haven't, chances are you will during these stressful times. This episode examines a humbling encounter I had with a loved one and reveals how the point we often label a failure or mistake is actually the point when we can wake up to having been off course. During all the uncertainty and change with Coronavirus we're all going to fall off the wagon, be more irritable, and make mistakes we might otherwise not make. M.A.G.I.C arises when we begin to see how these moments are actually life trying to help us realign or life asking for our assistance in helping another do similarly.

This episode is all about being in a state of having no freaking clue. All week I struggled with what to make this episode about because all I needed for myself and wanted to share with others was space to express, "I don't know." With Coronavirus leading to all kinds of messages stoking fear and panic to advice on how to stay the course or remain positive, I found myself feeling like I wanted to yell out, "Sttttttttttop!" This episode explores an overlooked state, a necessary period of not knowing we all must inevitably pass through. In a rush to help and do something or to feel like we are getting life back on track, it's easy to miss how life may be offering us, and the entire globe, the opportunity to explore the magical space of having no idea what to say and do. And paradoxically, when we embrace that, clarity and reassurance emerges.

This episode offers you another taste of M.A.G.I.C through engaging fear. With Coronavirus and its ripple effects impacting every corner of society, the world is going through a very scary time. This episode walks you through a quick and powerful exercise to engage feelings of fear in a way that leads to reassurance. I include several questions at the end that will leave you thinking and feeling about fear very differently.

I interview founder of Sagefire Mentoring, Michael Trotta. He is a master life coach, certified teacher, and mentor to many. What makes Michael unique is his ability to help people really tune into something he calls their Original Medicine, the unique super power or genius we each have within us. It’s a concept that seems really philosophical, but today’s episode really focuses on grounding what Original Medicine is and how you can apply it to your daily life. We talk about initiation, myth, motivation, and the important differences between coaching, teaching, and mentoring. We also talk about the value of being in nature as a major influence on tuning into one’s Original Medicine. Sagefire Mentoring helps people make the process of growing their business easier by clarifying their purpose, mastering their message, and offering other critical business services. If you are interested in learning more about your original medicine, and doing what you love for a living, whether that’s building a business with a really good foundation or bringing your original medicine into your job, reach out to Michael by going to www.SagefireMentoring.com.

These days, it’s hard not to feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or discouraged, given how maxed-out daily life seems, against a backdrop of national and global crises. This episode provides a way to create actual space when you feel stuck, exhausted, and uncertain. I talk about the First Step (Critical Life) Paradox and how to unify that. And I draw attention to several messages that keep most of us stuck in an illusion of progress and no real space to make any substantial or sustainable change.

It’s one thing to talk about M.A.G.I.C, it’s another to experience it directly. This episode offers you a taste of M.A.G.I.C through an 8-minute micro-adventure you can do in your car or by foot, even during a stressful day. You will be guided through an 8-minute wander. The art of wandering is one of the most helpful and effective ways of engaging life’s feedback. I walk you through how to take a wander and I include several questions at the end to help you tune into life's feedback.

I interview world endurance champion and professional mountain biker Sonya Looney on navigating how life is forcing her to slow down. Sonya’s life and career require her to go as fast as possible, yet she’s about to have her first child. So she’s had to make lots of life adjustments that create tension with going as fast as possible. We also discuss how having a child is normally an end to a professional cyclist’s career, navigating being perceived differently in her industry, and learning how you can’t always outwork everything. Sonya Looney has an amazing podcast, The Sonya Looney Show, where she interviews inspiring leaders about plant-based nutrition, endurance training, sports psychology, personal development, and entrepreneurship. She is inspiring people to unlock the best and healthiest version of themselves. For more information, go to www.SonyaLooney.com

Ever wonder why it’s so hard for people not to take life for granted? When life turns a certain direction or some unexpected thing happens, people always say the same thing. “Life’s too short! You have to appreciate every second.” We all commit to stopping and smelling the roses more, but that never seems to last. This episode examines the patterns and user experience around the effort to not take life for granted. It provides an explanation for why all this is and suggests that the very message not to take life for granted, counterintuitively, leads people to take life more for granted. This episode introduces you to the powerful technique of inversion and ultimately helps you see that when you experiment with inversion and with trying to take life fully for granted, you end up where you wanted to get to all along.

It doesn’t matter whether you are old or young, rich or poor, educated or not, left or right-brain oriented. No matter where you live or where you are from, no matter your life circumstances presently or those that have passed, you have to navigate the 5 Critical Paradoxes of Modern Day Life. And you have to do so whether you are aware of them or not. So it’s important to be clear on what exactly is a paradox versus a life paradox versus a Critical Life Paradox. This episode highlights the key characteristics of a Critical Life Paradox. It also introduces an important skill to have in navigating paradoxes, a skill I honed every day in my 20-year career in User Experience: respectful intolerance. This episode ends by providing an overview of each of the 5 Critical Paradoxes of Modern Day Life.

Magic, really? Yes. A major part of this podcast is about magic. But not in the way you think of the word magic. When I say magic, I mean it as an acronym. M.A.G.I.C. is something all wisdoms speak of. All parts of society engage aspects of this concept that is hard to put into words. A lot of smart, respected people speak of this M.A.G.I.C too. I quote several of them in this episode, including Albert Einstein, Howard Thurman, Ghandi, and Alan Watts. This episode also introduces you to the first of what I call the 5 Critical Paradoxes of Modern Day Life. These are root life paradoxes that have major influence over you, whether you realize it or not. It’s pivotal to become aware of these Critical Life Paradoxes because what awaits for you on the other side of them, what emerges when you bridge or unify a major life paradox, is a greater sense of M.A.G.I.C. I devote part of this episode to sharing more about my personal story, including the night when I finally awakened to Critical Life Paradoxes. While scary and confusing from a distance, these Critical Life Paradoxes are a lot like black holes, offering incredible insights and new ways of understanding the world if you are willing to explore more closely. The question is, are you?

Welcome! This episode is a brief introduction. I highlight a few of the paradoxical patterns wreaking havoc in our lives. Some of these are paradoxical messages such as: start by giving to yourself vs. start by giving to others. Stay the course to grow stronger vs. don’t ignore when life is nudging you to change. Focus on the present vs. get clear on the future you want. Some of these are paradoxical strategies like resisting temptation around certain foods in a way that increases that temptation. Most people talk about these so-called truths without ever addressing how they often contradict one another. That's where this podcast comes in. In this episode, I also share a bit about my background and the crazy journey I’ve had, including hitting a real low point in 2015, and spending the last 4 years interviewing people of different ages, backgrounds, and life circumstances about the day-to-day experience of life.