Horribly Off-Topic

It's a real clusterfruit in here, as Chris and Steve are joined by John and Rob for our first in-person episode since early 2020. Learn why John was into the Prodigy, why Rob does NOT call them moist towelettes, and why Chris can't do a Borat impression to save his life (or his wife). Then listen as Steve tries to explain where East Coast Video used to be, all without strangling his constantly interrupting co-host.

For the first time in nearly a year, Chris and Steve are here to invade your earholes.

Chris and Steve are on an indefinite hiatus due to the Coronavirus crisis.

Would Steve ever consider adopting a primate? In what way is Chris like Tonya Harding? And what exactly is consensual kneecap banging?

Steve finds out what happens when LEGOs stop being polite and start getting real. Plus: whatever was stupid, that’s what Chris did.

Steve spoils the Yankee Cannonball, Chris thinks it’s better when bathrooms don’t have doors, and one of us is involved in a top-20 lesbian romance.

Chris is such a supportive daddy, Steve has SUCH strong feelings about crocs and socks, and the only Vs we want are the consummate ones.

Steve gets things started with some Hawk Talk; Chris finally begins the recounting of his vacation to Orlando, Florida; and the fellas announce plans for the Horribly Off-Topic World theme park.

Chris thinks someone in the relationship between the McDonald's and Coca-Cola corporations is the son of a fizzy bitch. Meanwhile, Steve wants to learn all about that lost Dr. Seuss classic "Horton Gets His Rectal Exam."

Find out what happens when Chris blames it on the drain, why someone once asked “Hey Steve, can you take care of this guy for me?” and who it is that’s just like one of our hosts, only not funny.

Chris overreacts when a guy tells him he’s not a Star Wars fan, Steve remembers Sam the Eagle’s name but can’t remember Sweetums’, and it’s 70 degrees outside in the middle of January.

Chris asks for advice on "Rick and Morty," Steve coins the simile “like a warm human bidet,” and we learn why everybody on Twitter right now is like the Penguin.

Chris can’t choose between altra and regular, Steve woodburies the lede, and we research the etymology of the word dildo.

Steve comes up as a crazy wave, Chris has a few miles on his metaphorical tires, and it’s a rare circumstance when a great movie is also a great pinball machine.

Steve says he’s never intentionally written anything, Chris wonders if the latest top-notch video game is just an updated version of PAPERBOY, and together we learn that you can’t double nothing.

Steve calls the fire department and Chris explains why Kelly was Al Bundy’s Roadrunner.

No one brought their axes to class, Steve doesn’t know why he said “baby cat,” and Chris wonders if the kid from "Mid90s" will escape the corpse.

Chris stacks some wood, Steve plans a trip to the movies, and it turns out it’s called a “weird album.”

In which we learn Chris used to be a sloppy party bottom; Steve’s not a potato person anymore; and, if you’re starving, you could eat some fondant.

Steve visits Canobie Lake Park, Chris visits the Registry of Motor Vehicles, and one of us gets better at subtle nudging.

Chris has a full-on hard-on for Dr. Seuss, and Steve doesn't understand a balk unless it comes from a chicken.

Steve loves "The Boys," Chris doesn’t love King Richard’s Faire, and Maine really loves its Italians.

Chris has a very brief Amazon bitch, Steve has some suggestions about where Chris should start with Terry Gilliam, and we realize that we’ve always wanted to be a part of someone’s algorithm.

Steve turns 40, Chris learns what a “butt funnel” is, and we wonder if an atomic whoopee cushion could stop a hurricane.

Chris and Steve are joined by special guest Ryan for an episode where somebody loves a thick font, somebody wonders if Chris Evans was in "The Pirates of Penzance," and we debate the parentage of Maximillian Goof.

Chris has a brief announcement.

Steve says he’s Both Guy, Chris needs to get himself a Little-Guy swagger, and someone DOES want to buy Dongclaw BUT…

Steve is both a newsboy and a newsman, Chris wonders what it might take to get higher than Phil Collins, and we learn what distinguishes the pros vs. the amateurs when it comes to verbs.

Did Chris buy Steve’s PS4 just because of his daughters’ love for high-end dollar stores? And did Steve really order a plate of endless broccoli? Listen now, and find out!

Chris liked holding the B button, Steve always wanted to visit Technical Town, and it turns out that there are two Kisses and not just one.

Someone loves Fruity Pebbles in a major way, someone wants to start a pirate franchise of his very own, and somewhere—SOMEWHERE—there’s a dog with boxing gloves on his hands.

Steve keeps on calling it The Salty Box and Chris keeps hating on yard sales, but the bumbles definitely don’t hate the hydrangea.

The Tascam is out of the bag, Steve thinks our tombstones should be empty pizza boxes, and Chris asks if 'Troll 2' is better at being a bad movie than 'The Room.'

Chris announces the fate of his exquisite jingle corpse and Steve refuses to explain why he has a bag of boogies.

SPOILERS: Chris and Steve share their controversial opinons about 'Avengers: Endgame' and 'The Long Night' (the third episode of the eighth season of 'Game of Thrones').

Chris is a week behind and has a weak behind. Steve explains why people just get sick of laughing sometimes. And a local movie house picks bad young people.

Chris needs the best graphics card for boob touches and Steve becomes MacGyver for the movies.

Steve wonders if 'Thundercats' was the show that launched a thousand furries, but Chris thinks that everything is a thing and that it’s just a matter of when it got its name.

Steve calls Chris a depresario, but all Chris wants to know is why Judy Blume never wrote a book for him.

Nobody showed Chris how to ease into a mullet. Meanwhile: Steve is rollin’ in the cheap and proclaiming his love for sloppy portmanteaus.

Chris and Steve get horribly off-topic from the get-go, then spend minutes 20-48 discussing the film 'Captain Marvel' (complete with spoilers).

Steve wishes he could shuffle a sandwich together, Chris’ belt is named arbuckle, and we’ve both gotten a lot of triples in our lives.

Steve needs to crack the case, Chris intends ALL of his puns, and we learn why milk shakes bring all the boys to the yard but frappes don’t.

Steve explains how wrestling is like edging, Chris takes inspiration from the old sleepy coat bang, and we learn the name of Jesus’ favorite laundry detergent.

Drew Carey is ruining Chris’ childhood. Meanwhile, Steve is wondering: when she makes a mistake, do they call her Robin Wrong?

Steve is sick of farting Fitchburgians drinking tall boys on the train, Chris is worried his therapist will tell him Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria isn't a real thing, and we imagine what would happen if we traveled back to the age of meaty candy bar phones.

In which we, two conflicted New England liberals, can't decide if we want our hometown team to win or lose.

Chris has troubles with trousers. Steve wonders if you can make paper out of a willow tree.

Steve got rid of his bag of boogies, Chris is looking for people who enjoy the penis, and we ask the most important question ever: was Wilford Brimley ever cut?

Steve brings our old pal Leo by the studio for a visit, Chris distinguishes himself as a blue-balled man of integrity, and we learn how Proud Boys and Incels are really just modern-day orcs.

Basically: the dog was He-Man, so Chris couldn't like it.