Notes to Our Younger Selves

Trayvon Benjamin Martin was murdered on February 26th, 2012, while walking back to his father's fiancée's home from a local convenience store. George Zimmerman, the man who fatally shot Martin, was acquitted of all charges a year later. Many consider this a huge miscarriage of justice as one of the main sparks to the Black Lives Matter movement, which developed shortly after Zimmerman's acquittal. In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, we explore the murder and the acquittal through our lens as young black men, at the time, who were near the age of Trayvon. We explore how we felt at the time, what support we received or wished we had, and how we see what has happened as a result, both in our lives and in the world at large. Additionally, we share a conversation about the danger of constructing narratives around black men/boys based on misconceptions widely spread by the media. From our conversations on narratives, we dive deeper into the impact of engaging in conversations centering racialized  trauma can have on black folxs and the need to ensure non-black identifying races display empathy by listening to the perspectives of black folxs. We end the episode sharing our thoughts on how our lives have been shaped in the past 10 years since Trayvon's murder and how we feel now.In this episode, you'll learn:Racialized trauma trigger warning  (8:10)The impact of the media narratives on Trayvon and George Zimmerman (12:30)The danger of constructing a narrative of black men/boys based on what they wear  (16:00)The dark side of leadership for leaders of color during times of racialized trauma (23:30)The re-traumatizing of black folxs by asking them to recount racial trauma or engaging in racialized conversations (29:00)A deeper dive into the psyche of black folxs in racialized conversations and the need for engaging in multiple perspectives to grow in empathy (37:05)How the murder of Travyon shaped us in the last ten years (45:10)How create space for people to be heard, and folxs listening, can prove to be a pathway forward (54:00)Questions answered:What do people misunderstand about you most? (2:30)How did you feel about the narratives being shared across media platforms during the time of the murder? Did you feel as though it was equitable? (10:30)How did you balance your own feelings, emotions, and perception as you saw the murder and subsequent trial unfold? (22:15)How did those in positions of authority support you during this time in your life? (33:20)What are your thoughts as you sit here today and reflect on the impact of the loss of Trayvon's life as well as the moments you have seen trickle since then? (45:10)What do you want to tell those who were in your community back when Trayvon was murdered? (57:15)Resources referenced:Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ Courageous Conversations about Race by Dr. Glenn Singleton

In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, we welcome our first ever guest to the show, Sydney Hicks! Educator, non-profit leader, and good friend of co-host Nico, Sydney joins us to explore the topic of intersectionality & identity. The episode starts out with Sydney providing a background on her experiences and recent career transition before we dive into her upbringing and some of her earliest memories as a young black girl growing up in Michigan. We dive deeper into how her family dynamics and tight bond with her older brother influenced her affinity for athletics and academics at a young age. She provides further stories and anecdotes that speak to her passion for performance and how some of her most formative experiences in the theater were attached to trauma and microaggressions. From there, we discuss how many instances of our childhood were shaped by a desire to be accepted and loved, no matter how backhandedly any acknowledgement or compliments were; we actively sought them out to counterbalance the otherness we carried each day. We touch on the role of academic institutions and the lack of overall safety and support many black and brown young boys and girls feel in these spaces . We briefly touch on how black men can be better and more accountable to supporting and uplifting black women through active listening and operating from authenticity instead of ego and bravado . We end the episode sharing our thoughts on academic institutions and their pivotal role in childhood development and the type of young adults we're preparing to step into the world.In this episode, you'll learn:Sydney's identity and its linkage to her career as an educator & non-profit leader  (2:40)Sydney's childhood and formation of her identity as a young black girl  (6:32)Microaggressions & eurocentric beauty standards and their effects on one's psyche and worth at a young age (16:00)The impact of academic struggles and mental health on one's identity and self worth (28:05) The weaponization of language on young black girls and negative stereotypes that are casted upon them (32:42)How black boys and black men can do more to uplift and support black women (35:11)The impact of educational institutions and environments on childhood development (38:38)Key considerations and decision-making when selecting academic institutions for children and the type of youth we're producing as they step into the world (42:28)Questions answered:What are some of your earliest memories and formative moments of your upbringing? (6:30)Do you have memories of others questioning your presence as a young black girl in a space or environment where you were not the majority? (10:40)Can you offer examples of how academic performance influenced your perception of your self worth as a young adolescent? (27:00)What can black boys and black men do more to support and uplift black women? (34:54)Resources referenced:Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ Follow Sydney on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydney__gail/

Fear is often rooted in the stories and moments in our lives where we did not or could not predict what was going to happen to us next. In those moments, many of us recoil, run away, or simply freeze, as our minds and nervous systems try to make sense of stimuli that we may have never experienced before. It is our belief that to know something, to make a conscious effort, to seek further knowledge, to stand firm in the face of uncertainty is the quickest way to confront and remove fear from our lives. Our journeys are strongly influenced by our convictions, and our convictions are only as strong as our commitment to put one foot in front of the other, regardless of what may lie ahead.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, Nico and Drey explore their thoughts and beliefs regarding “fear” and arrive at some interesting conclusions and observations along the way. Starting with addressing the Supreme Court's decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, we unpack how necessary it is for all us to be present and aware of how important this moment in our nation's history truly is and how we must advocate to preserve the right of choice for all women within our communities. We move to a working definition of fear and offer our own interpretations of what fear means to us, peeling back the role of ignorance in creating and sustaining fear within our lives . From there, we discuss how elements of our childhood were shaped by fears of others, those we loved the most and loved us the most and how generational trauma can be passed down unintentionally to black boys at a young age. We touch on the cognitive dissonance of black men being the most feared members in society and how that messaging creates fear and conflict within young black boys. We briefly touch on the value and power of taking challenges, dreams, and goals by detaching from the outcome and intimately knowing and loving the process & journey instead and by pulling on the strength of our loved ones and ancestors as an additional source of motivation . We end the episode sharing two of the most fearful moments of our lives to date, with co-host Drey offering a powerful anecdote regarding an encounter with law enforcement.In this episode, you'll learn:The correlation between fear and ignorance (10:10)Identifying the physiological response to fear within one's body  (12:15)The hyper self awareness and acute stress & anxiety that is instilled in black boys (15:05)Effective methods and mental frameworks to push through fear and pursue your goals & dreams  (25:00)Questions answered:What's your first association or thought that comes to mind when fear is mentioned ? (8:00)How did your identity as a black boy and the images and stories you consumed at a young age impact the level of fear you felt in your formative years ? (14:41)How were you able to remove doubt & fear to pursue your dreams to the fullest? (21:36)What was a time you felt most afraid or fearful for your safety? (33:00)Resources referenced:Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Many of us have dreams, ideas, and visions of what we want our reality to reflect, yet many of us struggle to manifest or bring these scenarios into fruition due to our circumstances. Our environments and other societal factors can deter or shake our self worth if we aren't careful and unable to cultivate self-love from within. In other words we are susceptible & vulnerable to the pressures and constructs of society in a never-ending continuum of social media and 24 hours news cycles.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, Nico and Drey explore their own struggles with cultivating their self worth and self love in spaces and places that required extraordinary performance  or excellence from a very young age. Starting with a question about what we've cherished most this year so far, we unpack how critical sports were in our formative years as a vessel to earn love and respect from our peers and communities. We create space for a larger conversation on the confines society has placed on people of color, specifically black men around acceptable or digestible career endeavors or aspirations and how damaging this can be in the development and self expression of young black boys. From there, we discuss how shortcomings or dreams deferred can redirect us or serve as intrinsic motivation to write new chapters of our lives moving forward and push through adversity. We briefly touch on the value and power of positive self talk and agency in insulating ourselves from negative energy or challenges that could very easily bring us down. We end the episode reflecting on the late Kobe Bryant, a master of mindset and will,  and a basketball legend that never let his confidence waver in the heat of competition, countless missed shots and shortcomings.In this episode, you'll learn:The role of socialization on the formation of self worth in adolescence  (6:20)The role of the sport in the development & identity of black boys (9:40)Societal archetypes or career endeavors that are acceptable for black boys to matriculate into as black men  (17:18)Failing fast and why it can be effective in our journey of self discovery (26:00)The power of agency and acceptance in insulating ourselves from negative self talk or stimuli (29:00)Utilizing  intrinsic motivation or failures as fuel for future goal setting and manifestation (31:15)Questions answered:What have you cherished the most this year so far? (1:45)What role did socialization play in the development of your self worth as an adolescent? (6:20)What was the process between choosing a sport you loved vs. a sport you sought admiration from? (9:20)What are some steps you've taken in your adult life to separate deferred dreams or difficult circumstances from your view on your self worth? (22:25)Resources referenced:Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Existing in harmful environments for too long can stifle us in so many ways. They can impact our relationships, work productivity, and overall satisfaction. Even more importantly, it can impact our physical and mental health. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is learning ourselves so well that we know how to navigate these harmful spaces.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, Nico and Drey switch up the format and do a resource sharing episode with examples of how we've used the steps we share to navigate harmful environments. Starting with a question around extending grace to others, we talk about how our own projections can hinder progress. We share about how we've used our bodies to navigate spaces, particularly one where you might be the minority in a particular identity. From there we share five steps you can use today to navigate harmful environments you might be in. We share examples of our experiences as leaders in the education and human resources industries as well as what we have learned from them as a way others can take similar actions or learn from mistakes we've made. We end the episode talking about how this topic consistently impacts black and brown folxs because of the design of the society we live in.In this episode, you'll learn:How your body can guide you towards wellness (4:30)Navigating spaces where you are the only one (7:25)Five ways to navigate harmful environments (10:33)How you can use resources at your disposal (20:45)The pressure on black and brown folxs in certain harmful environments (25:50)Questions answered:Where is one area of your life where you could exhibit more grace for other people? (1:20)How have you determined if a particular environment was harmful? (4:15)What is an example of a trigger that you've had to work through (13:25)What is an example of a boundary you've had to set and how did the process go for you? (17:05)What's one thing you would tell the version of yourself that's living in a harmful environment? (28:55)Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Codependency results as a constant pressure of being tied down to rules that limit us. Whether it is in a romantic relationship, a familial relationship, and/or a friendship, any situation where we don't fully express ourselves because of limits includes a level of codependency.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, we explore codependency, what it is, how it shows up, and ways we think about those relationships now. Exploring our early childhood, we share examples of healthy and unhealthy dependency before heading into how unhealthy relationships create detachment. From our conversation on detachment we dive deeper into its impact on intimacy and relationships. We end the episode sharing our thoughts on how embracing self-love as an ongoing process helps reframe codependency in our lives from a place of internal power.In this episode, you'll learn:Defining codependency and what it means to you (3:40)The impact of detachment on intimacy and relationships (18:20)Learning from codependency, revisiting relationships and victimhood (29:45)Embracing self love as an ongoing process to reframe codependency (45:00)Questions answered:What examples can you draw on from moments in your life where you saw healthy dependency? (6:45)What are your experiences with creating healthy or unhealthy detachment? (14:15)When did you realize you had codependent behaviors? (25:10)How has victimhood played a role in your relationships and friendships (39:15)Resources referenced:“Codependent No More” by Melody BeattieFollow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Let's face it. We all could benefit from setting more boundaries and being unapologetic about showing up as our authentic selves. Boundaries are the way that we can set parameters in our relationships that allow us to show up in a healthy way.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, we explore boundaries, what they are, different types and why they are integral to healing. We share vulnerably about times where we could've used boundaries along the way. From our conversation on boundaries we dive deeper into the difference between venting and emotional dumping. We close the episode by integrating four pillars for reparenting ourselves as a way to reclaim ourselves and create the world we envision.In this episode, you'll learn:Defining boundaries (4:30)Types of Boundaries (14:33)The impact of overthinking & emotional dumping (22:10)The concept of reparenting & its four pillars (29:45)The benefits of using reparenting to create (41:15)Questions answered:What is your relationship with rest? (1:50)What's the first word or thought you associate when talking about boundaries? (4:30)How do you tell the difference between venting and emotional dumping? (22:10)Where does reparenting and your relationship with the 4 pillars show up in your journey? (31:45)What are some manifestations/creations of your reparenting work? (41:10)Resources referenced:“How to Do the Work” by Dr. Nicole LePeraSet Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover TawwabFollow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

At some level, most folxs have needs that weren't met as a child. As we grow older, we might experience events and situations through a lens that enlightens us about these needs.In this episode of Notes To Our Younger Selves, we explore the “Inner Child” and its role in our healing journeys. Additionally we dive into the needs we might have had that went unfulfilled and how we might have formed templates, known as archetypes, of who we thought we needed to be in order to combat the lack in our lives. In this episode, you'll learn:The definition/meaning of the phrase “Inner Child” (3:50)The impact of racialized trauma on our healing journey and its relationship to the inner child (5:45)The practice, and power, of disengagement (7:55)The inner child, our needs, and relationships (18:50)Archetypes: what they are, examples and their function in our lives (20:50)How you can heal through exploring archetypes (30:00)Questions answered:What has inner child work looked like, and meant, to you? (5:15)Is there an  experience from your childhood where you can vividly remember the pain you felt and how you processed protecting yourself from that pain again? (13:50)What are archetypes, how do they play a role in your life, and what are some examples of archetypes you see in your life? (20:50)What were some things, people, or situations you idealized or wished for in childhood that you thought would have met your core needs? (39:10)Resources referenced:“How to Do the Work” by Dr. Nicole LePeraFollow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Ego is more than a word to describe overconfidence or cockiness. Everyone has an ego and it's an integral part of our personality formed in childhood, most often around trauma. Our ego seeks protection at all cost, whether by telling us stories about who/what are or blocking others out. Tune into this episode of Notes to Our Younger Selves, where we dive deep into the definition of ego, meeting our ego and the stories our ego tells us. For this episode we center a text “How to Do the Work” by Dr. Nicole LePera, whom we are not in partnership with, to help guide the conversation and concepts. In this episode, you'll learn:Societal inequities that hinder the ability to engage in self-actualization and/or healing work (3:50)The ego's persistent formation in our childhood and the impact of disconnection and shame (11:08)Meeting your ego (12:50)Stepping back and reassessing who you are without your ego (28:45)The danger of projections and our ego's desire to protect (39:45)Questions answered:What was your first definition of ego? (5:20)What core belief from your youth activated your ego the most? (26:55)What is one thing you wish you could've heard or would like to tell a previous version of yourself that was consumed by ego stories? (44:40)Resources referenced:“How to Do the Work” by Dr. Nicole LePeraListen to David Goggins explain his concept of “the governor”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIbwsMAfVdcFollow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

The power of storytelling is that people connect with your story by hearing theirs through yours. Your story is something that is unique to you. It is a compilation of the experiences in your life that shape your thoughts and beliefs that influence how you act. Listen in on this Notes to Our Younger Selves episode as we share our stories starting from our earliest childhood memories through adolescence and challenges we had to navigate through along the way. When we go deep, we can reframe traumas and failures as lessons to enable healing. When we share our story, we encourage and empower others to share theirs. In this episode you'll learn:Experiences of a child growing up with parents from different racial backgrounds (3:00)Leaving home for school for the first time and the experience of feeling othered (5:16)The experience of losing a parent at a young age and the grief that comes with it (6:53)The impact of constantly moving in childhood and adolescence (11:48)The harm of the adultization of black and brown boys in school (17:18)The formation of agency and your ability to embrace decision making for yourself (31:06)Questions answered:What are some of your earliest memories and recollections from your childhood? (2:57)What were some of the biggest challenges you faced in childhood? (5:09)How do you remember your home environment during your youth? (8:25)Describe your journey in coming to and processing your identity? (17:13)Can you describe the impact your environment had on your earliest interpretation of society and who you were? (23:45)How do you think your experiences in early childhood and adolescence have influenced the decisions you've made in early adulthood? (29:35)Resources referenced Enneagram: https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/ 

Welcome to Notes to Our Younger Selves, a podcast that explores the restorative nature of confronting ourselves, our trauma, and long withstanding wounds so that we can take ownership & accountability for how we're showing up for ourselves and in our daily lives. Co-hosts Nico & Aundrey Page delve into different chapters of their lives by revisiting & reclaiming formative experiences through vulnerable storytelling, deep self-reflection, and sharing literature and text that's been integral in their ongoing healing journey.In this brief trailer episode, Nico & Aundrey provide listeners a lens into the inspiration behind the show, the journey they're going to take listeners on, and who this show is for. Join us for the ride, as we seek to build community and contribute to the shifting narrative on what it means to be authentic, vulnerable, and the best version of yourself!Follow the Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notes_podcast/ Follow Nico on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicopage__/ Follow Drey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drey.page/