Podcast appearances and mentions of Daniel A Hughes

這一集中，我們探討在『恆溫教養』中，父母對孩子的PACE四向度敏覺度， 好讓我們偵測內心的水庫目前的容量，其實，PACE是從「照顧孩子的有效策略」 這本書的作者Daniel A.Hughes提出的，這位臨床心理師的概念是 當一個家庭中的成員，彼此可以發展出想到家就是種安慰和可靠的避風港的感受， PACE是很重要的指標，他是一種態度，在這個家中彼此會珍惜對方的發展，並且不需要處在損傷另一個人就可以做到大家都有庇護和連結的感受，讓彼此不會感到孤單！ 他指出，父母的PACE態度，是以情感為核心傳遞給孩子他所介意的， 如此一來，孩子才有機會在安全、開放的位置中，也表露接納和安全的氛圍 許多時候，當父母的內心有空間了，孩子自然就習得對他人的理解。 而恆溫教養，放重心在協助父母找回這份PACE的態度和能力，原因就在於 我們就是孩子的早年安全堡壘哪！ ======以下針對說明，摘要自原書內文===== P(遊玩的態度)：當親子之間常常分享愉悅、興奮或快樂的經驗，彼此就有更開放的心去拓展彼此的情感交流，書中指出，歡笑是羞愧感和害怕的解毒劑，歡樂發生時，他們會知道彼此的關係夠好，讓親子之間更有了一份獨特的感覺，就是接納彼此的感受，而幽默感也容易讓我們發現事件的另類看法，可以緩衝和對別人的經驗有開放的態度，不容易將事情看成是壞的！ A(接納)：幼兒和較大的兒童很容易和照顧者失聯的原因是在於，他內心有被拒絕、不被接受的恐懼，照顧者當然也會對孩子失望、嘲諷、但當他不認為，這是全然是他的一部分時，就更容易和主要照顧的人形成安全的基地，因為他知道照顧者只是針對他的行為，不是否定整個人格和預設未來，當接納的氛圍，在孩子和父母之間流動，孩子將更具焦在問題解決的好策略，而非害怕關係失聯！ C(好奇)：探究為什麼，當父母親持續對嬰兒產生好奇心，將容易呼應孩子所在乎的事情時，就更容易知道孩子的原意，當父母內心持有好奇，就更容易知道孩子是很了不起的，會越來越想要迫不及待想要了解更多，當管教取代了探究，就更容易用負面動機預設了孩子，當我們秉持著不知道的好奇，就更容易讓關心多一點，預設少一點，真正了解孩子 E(同理）：由於孩子的情感是很立即、很清晰表達，照顧者如果能夠清晰的回應、分享和擴充孩子的感覺，將有助於讓她得到安慰和支持！ TIP 70 本集重點： 【這集內容有點長，慢慢聽~ 慢慢聽~ 之盈說明的非常清楚喔~!】 1. 當我們心裡空間不足的時候，都有可能失去PACE中任何一個態度，這是非常正常的。 2. 此時就可以觀察自己內心到底發生了什麼？不是反省、是超脫對錯之外、 去看見內心，更重要的想法、價值或感受。 3. 若我們忽視「失去PACE」的狀態，而勉強自己硬撐在一個隨時會爆炸， 到時快爆炸，卻還要只顧及對方的情況下，不僅太委屈、關係也更容易惡化。 4. 在平靜時刻，可以想想：「平常如果是孩子的話，孩子是怎麼對我做 (修復) 的呢？」 5. PACE，讓我們在家庭之中，每一個人都有機會被尊重、被重視、以及能分享的生活氛圍與態度。 6. 我們內心有震盪的時候，不是一件需要被消滅、不是一件有罪惡感的事情。 補充書目：照顧孩子的有效策略－以依附關係為焦點之親職教育　Daniel A. Hughes著

Proč se někdy v rodičovství stává, že začnou vlastní rodiče štvát děti téměr vším, co dělají a odpojí se od pocitu smysluplnosti, lásky, péče? Daniel Hughes a jeho kolega Jonathan Bayline v knize Brain based parenting vysvětlují fenoménem zablokované péče. Ten může mít několik příčin a úzce souvisí také s naší neurobiologií a systémy, které nám ideálně pomáhají, abychom rodičovství zvládali dobře a s uspokojivým pocitem. O tom všem si povídá psycholožka Ivana Štefková s psychoterapeutem a lektorem Janem Vávrou v epizodě Nad věcí podcastu Rodičovská posilovna. Zmíněné knihy: Brain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) by Daniel A. Hughes (Author), Jonathan Baylin (Author), Daniel J. Siegel M.D. (Foreword) Budování citového pouta – Daniel A. Hughes, Nakladatel: Institut fyziologické socializace /fyso.cz/, 2017 Rozvíjejte naplno mozek svého dítěte Daniel J. SiegelCPRESS · 2015

Have you found yourself feeling rejected by a client, or attempting to rattle off multiple solutions for them? Abby and Kellee explore how clients who cannot accept care and trust in the therapy space may be showing you a wise part of themselves, a younger part that developed block trust out of childhood maltreatment. They discuss what this can look like with adults and child clients, what it might feel like for the therapist, and how easily the therapist can recreate attachment ruptures from early on by falling into blocked care. Topics Touched on:The Neurobiology of Attachment-Focused Therapy- Jonathan Baylin and Daniel A. Hughes: https://wwnorton.com/books/9780393711042 Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: https://ddpnetwork.org/about-ddp/dyadic-developmental-psychotherapy/Louis Cozolino: https://mindgains.org/resources/advisory-board/louis-cozolino-ph-d/Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/dialectical-behavior-therapyDr. Dan Siegle- https://www.attachment-and-trauma-treatment-centre-for-healing.com/blogs/understanding-and-working-with-the-window-of-tolerance Coffee and Chat: Friend or Foe? Exploring Our Own Attachment Sh*t In The Therapy room: https://wholetherapistinstitute.com/store/ Follow us: https://www.instagram.com/the_whole_therapist/https://www.facebook.com/TWTPodcasters/ Visit our website:https://wholetherapistinstitute.com

We plainly pay attention, using the finite currency of time and energy issued in the 24-hour increments that add up to a life - well spent? We have choices and constraints about how we allocate our attention, and today's world competes fiercely for it in unprecedented ways. No wonder, for power is the ability to command or hijack attention, even if it warps reality with untruths. Jung particularly valued the attentional dimension of “dreaming, or fantasy-thinking” experienced in reverie, dreams, and creativity. And like mothers, lovers, and psychotherapists, we can give others the unconditional attention that brings soul into being. All we have to do is practice paying attention to what we pay attention to.  Here's the dream we analyze: “A large lesbian woman, Sally, has four adopted boys. Their home is the top floor of a brick industrial building (like a power station) in the shape of a square, with a quad in the middle. They are visited by Kirsty and Phil (hosts of British TV shows about property/home improvement), and the first room they visit floods with seawater as the tide rises and falls, leaving tide marks on the furniture. One of the boys (aged 9) insists that the room is not fit for purpose and tugs on the sleeves of the adults, but Sally says it is OK. The other boy runs around like he has ADHD. As they move around the building, Kirsty and Phil discover all kinds of problems. There is an industrial kitchen covered in grease and grime. The roof leaks and the home isn't warm or protected. In the one habitable room, two boys (one black, one white) are stored in a Walls ice cream freezer. Kirsty and Phil worry that the freezer is on, but they touch it and think it is off. The boys both have their eyes open. Kirsty and Phil realize that their cheerful, anything-is-possible attitude won't work this time. They don't sugarcoat things for Sally, telling her that the building is condemned and they need to move. They suggest that she sell at a loss. Sally nearly argues with them: she is angry and feels betrayed, but then she comes ‘round. Sally is a life skills coach, and Kirsty and Phil ask her for a session, which she says she will provide for free, but they want to pay her in full. This will allow Sally to recoup her losses and find another property. The 9-year-old anxious boy should have been listened to.” REFERENCES: Marzel, Charlie, “I Talked to the Cassandra of the Internet Age.” The New York Times, 4 February 2021 by Charlie Warzel. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/04/opinion/michael-goldhaber-internet.html The Social Dilemma. A docudrama filmed by Jeff Orlowski in 2020. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Social_Dilemma   Ian McGilchrist. The Master and His Emissary. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0300245920/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_1W6M13WYQRW5X006XFHW Daniel A. Hughes, Jonathan Baylin, and Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. Brain-Based Parenting. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393707288/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_SG8Q283NW3NSTAV3BQBP John Gottman. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553447718/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_8XM6QBQMXNJ8M7K8X9GR RESOURCES: Learn to Analyze your Own Dreams:  https://thisjungianlife.com/enroll/

Welcome back Sparkler Parents. After about a 2 week hiatus, I am back. Over the next 8-9 episodes we are going to explore together a book that was required reading for my infant massage certification that I hold. I will admit, I did not read the book! But over the past 3 years since I received the infant massage instructor certificate, I have picked up a lot of this information info from other places. In fact, this podcast is based a lot in information from this book and I had not even read it yet! So, now we can read it together. The book is Brain-Based Parenting, by Daniel A. Hughes and Jonathan Baylin, https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Based-Parenting-Neuroscience-Interpersonal-Neurobiology/dp/0393707288 I am not an Amazon affiliate, but here is one way to get it. It should also be available at your local library. Check into the availability of an app to listen to it on Audio through your local library as well. If you are interested, jump on over to FB and search for Sparkler Parents Podcast group. This will be where we can discuss the book together. It is a private group, but you should still be able to request to join. If you need assistance, reach out at info@sweetpeapediatricwellness.com

Host & Producer: Mariah PadillaCo-Producer: Alessandro MarquezMusic Contributors: SHIGH, Bond EyesTo gain a deeper knowledge of adopting and how it affects all involved parties, Cynthia recommends reading, "The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child" by Nancy Newton Verrier, "Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children" by Daniel A. Hughes and "Adoption Healing: A Path to Recovery" by Joe Soll.