Me1 vs Me2 Snooker with Richard Herring

Frame 184 - Broken Glass. It's an unprecedented morning frame of Me1 vs Me 2 snooker with the action starting before midday, surely putting night owl Me2 at a disadvantage. And there's controversy and possible actionable sexual harassment from the start, but that's what you get when Trump is in charge (Donald, not Judd). Another crucial frame in this never-ending tournament. Who will win? Who indeed? One of the two probably. Forgot to mention that more self-playing snooker memorabilia will be going up on eBay this weekend. Check out https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/herring1967 and bid for a bit of the original table or one of Richard's original balls.

Frame 183 - Afternoon Delight. Self-playing snooker moves into the prime time just after 5pm on a Tuesday slot, where the football scores are crazy and Rich only has 25 minutes to wrap up before he has to look after his own children. The players are getting to grips with the new board and the fact the room it's in is only slightly bigger than the board and it's a thrilling frame. Who will end up on top? Or will the stale-mate continue betwixt these two evenly matched and poorly defined characters?

Frame 182 - Chopping Board. The Mes are back and struggling to fit in (literally) to their new restrictive arena, but will one of them get the hang of it before the other and strike to victory? Rich is desperate to sell bits of the old board in the hope of covering the costs of getting it sliced up and mounted. There's a lot of football scores. But some sublime and some awful snooker. Just as normal. You can bid for a piece of sporting history and own a part of the original board to the envy/confusion of all your friends here - https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_sacat=0&_fss=1&_saslop=1&_sasl=bigmrchris&LH_SpecificSeller=1

Frame 181 - No Sound. Me1 and Me2 are back in a new arena, with a new board and a very shoddy affair all round. If you're listening to the audio there's a good 5 to 10 minutes with no sound as Rich didn't turn on his mics, but we're leaving that in so you can enjoy it. If you're watching in video it's just as confusing. The referee loses track of who is who and the constricted new space is not fit for the sport, but the board is as flat as a pancake. So it's business as usual. Why is this still happening?

Frame 180 - Your Next Prime Minister. The Mes are back and this time the match determines who will lead this great self-playing, lonely nation. It's some of the best snooker we've ever seen on the old green board, so don't miss it!

Frame 179 - CBD. In a crucial frame, Me 1 takes on Me 2 at the sport of snooker and without hyperbole this frame is the greatest sporting event of all time. It may not count in the record books as both players are drug enhanced, but drugs are great and everyone should take them all the time. Anyway see or listen to what happens.

Frame 178 - Ridiculously Late Football Scores. The snooker is back (temporarily) and all involved are too exhausted to do this. They sleepwalk their way through it all making errors galore but creating a thrilling denouement. I'd say don't waste your time, but why else would you be watching?

Frame 177 - Snooker Hole. Whatever Rich thinks, it's Frame 177 and the first of 2024, but who will be the first winner in this final year of human civilization? You're going to have to fight your way through Name That Tune and the football scores to get there. But it's definitely the best frame of this year with surprises in store for everyone.

Frame 176 - Victorian Ghost Child. It's a crucial frame in this ongoing contest and maybe the last of 2023. Who will win at snooker? That's the ultimate question. There is an unwelcome visitor and some amazing breaks and so on. Plus big prizes for name that tune. If you watch live.

Frame 175 - Rwanda. In a crucial frame, Me1 faces up to Me 2 to see who is the best at snooker. All the usual features including name that snooker stick tune, puppet predictions, 20.04 football scores, interviews and also some snooker. Incredible action, incredulous commentary, a tired man who should be with his family. What more do you want? Blood?

Frame 174 - Without Prejudice. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker. One player has been in the doldrums. Will they turn up today? And if not, how the hell will we play the game with just one player?

Chalky Fingers/Predictive Hand. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker. Plus another name that tune with big cash prizes and some astonishing potting. But who will win? And what shall become of the doubters?

It's a crucial frame in the contest, with one player in extraordinarily poor recent form. Can they turn it around? Will Charles III experience the same fate as Charles I and who will be winning the battle of Man versus Boys at 8.03pm. Plus Guess that Tune and Whory Horse guesting as score predictor. And despite the huge number of football fixture, it's the quickest frame ever, so be grateful for small mercies.

Frame 171 - Carrot Based Prediction. In a crucial frame of snooker Me 1 takes on Me2 at snooker to find out who is the best at snooker. But who will it be? (Who is the best at snooker). Plus guess the cue chalk tune, puppet predictascore and the 8.03pm football scores. It's a perfectly acceptable form of entertainment.

Frame 170 - Very Little Sexism. Another thrilling and crucial frame from the old green board, from a time where it looked like York City might be in with a chance of winning a football match. Two very different foes with surprisingly equal statistics take each other on in the greatest sport ever created. Who will win? That's the basic premise. Plus advance news about RHLSTP guests: richardherring.com/rhlstp

The Birdy Song - In a crucial frame Me 1 takes on his opponent Me2 to see who is best at snooker. By the end of the frame we should know who is best for now. But not until death of one or all of the players will the conundrum finally be solved. Plus 8.04 football results. Will it be good news for York City in their bottom of the table clash (spoilers - no).

It's back! That's all you need to know! See RHLSTP on tour: richardherring.com/rhlstp

Frame 167 - It's Only A Game. Me1 and Me2 are both going to be snookering you tonight and you're going to love it. It's a show with everything, a song, a virtuoso playing their instrument, a hippopotamus obsessed with mammary glands. More than 3 two ball breaks. And the beautiful moment when Luton Town weren't going to be in the play off finals. Plus it's a crucial frame.

Frame 166 - Monarchy vs Republic. In this crucial frame of snooker, not only do we get to find out which Me is best at snooker this week, but also resolve how the UK will be governed for the next 1000 years. Plus Rich thinks he might be drinking real gin and loses his mind and gives you some 40 year old mnemonics and vocab songs from his o level studies and plays his snooker stick along with another classic comedy song. Was he drunk though? Nope, he checked. It was non-alcoholic gin. What a lightweight. Some good snooker though and hopefully you will know your place after this.

Frame 165 Simon Tutu - In a crucial frame tonight, Me 1 tries to defeat Me2 at snooker whilst Me2 in turn attempts to defeat Me1. But who will do the dirty business? Sybil has had a makeover and Richard is playing his cue like a Stradivarius and singing about Woolworths. More importantly it's an incredible standard of snooker for you to enjoy. So do that or this is all for nought.

Frame 164 - Orange. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker. I hope nobody protests. Not that that would make the board any more unplayable. Who will win? Me or me? The only loser is you, for wasting your time on this.

Write It Down! After a holiday break (geddit?) Me1 and Me2 are back for a crucial frame in the tournament which could have a huge impact on the final result. Richard seems distracted by half-remembered comedians and is incredibly still not over his recent bug, but the players, whilst shit, provide a thrilling match with incident and balls and a cat in it.

Frame 162 - Don Quixote. The snooker is back and so are the all important voices of the host and the commentators (well one of them). It's another crucial frame, but the cat litter box is proving a worthy adversary and the players aren't very good at snooker. Still it only ends with death.

Frame 161 - Strike. Nazi supporter Ian Twitch has suspended Richard Herring for offending him by saying that the Tories are the same as the Nazis. Consequently all the pundits, commentators and predicting puppets have gone on strike in support. So this is a bare bones edition of the contest, with just the action. Which means it has all the pots in, no "expert" analysis and will probably be quite hard to follow in audio only. But unless you are a scab you will still listen. Some great action. Just a shame we couldn't describe it. On the plus side, it is mercifully brief.

Frame 160 - Winner Gets Ants. All the usual rubbish from this long running snooker competition, plus all the excitement of the FA and Scotch Women's football. And also some snooker. It's a very exciting frame. But can some puppets predict the result? I used to be on TV.

Frame 159 - Potting through the Pain. It's another round of snooker and both players have been poked in the eye and also have painful hips. But that doesn't stop them playing snooker to a scarcely adequate standard. Who will win? They thought it was all over, but is it now?

Framer 158: Sh!thouse - An absolutely appalling game of snooker to follow last week's classic. Nothing in this is worth your time or your money. Luckily we are not asking for money, but you could potentially earn some money by doing something productive instead of experiencing this. There was a good shot near the end and also a great escape from an impossible snooker, though you can't see it properly because the logo was in the way. Back for more next week.

Frame 157 - Academical. It's the first frame of 2023 and what new year's resolutions will the players have and will anyone involved remember how any of this works? It doesn't matter. It's one of the greatest displays of self-playing snooker ever recorded. Sit back and enjoy it all, because sport does not get better than this.

Frame 156 - Politics and Sport. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 - one of them is on a bad run of form, can he turn it around? And will there be any repercussions for Referee 1 after last week's controversies. And will the LGBTQ+ community boycott the sport after this week. Find out by watching/listening to the latest instalment in this thrilling contest.

Frame 155 - Touching the Pink. It's a crucial frame and there's a couple of controversial moments that could alter the whole course of the competition, but the referee's decision is final. Plus a 7 year-old heckles as she insists we look at her art, the football scores are in at 8.03 and Prince Andrew is back. I remember when this thing was purely about the sport of kings, self-playing snooker, not the sport of noncy dukes. No Sweat. Enjoy it now before unlucrative ads ruin it.

Frame 154 - Nonce Sense. In a crucial frame Me 1 and Me 2 battle it out for the title of who is the best at snooker. There's arena naming controversy and Sybil is unavailable, but surely no one else is capable of seeing the future like her? It's a high octane contest and maybe the best snooker we've seen on the old green board since lockdown.

Frame 153 - Vision On. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker and to couldn't be more exciting. It's just not possible. Even if it was on a rollercoaster. In many ways that would spoil it.

Frame 152 Snooker, She Wrote - In a crucial frame in the contest Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker with hilarious consequences. Plus football scores at far too far into the matches to be of any interest to anyone.

Frame #151 Stone of Scoooooooon. In a crucial frame Me1 takes on Me2 as they attempt to ascertain who is the best at snooker. Plus news of the most important football match of the year, Halifax Town versus York City. And a scary doll.

In Liz We Truss. It's a century and a half of snooker in just ten and a bit short years and tonight is a pivotal frame in the contest. Crucial some might say. Some amazing snooker but from whom and for how long. Will defeat be snatched from the jaws of victory again. And who will buy Richard's book?

Frame 149 - Executioner. The period of mourning is over but one player is still reeling from the funeral, whilst the other expresses views on the monarchy that can not be condoned by any right thinking person. But away from politics and football scores it's a thrilling and crucial frame. Enjoy the action.

Frame 148 - Concord Rangers. We could have just sloped off and pretended we'd forgotten but we're back with a tired but thrilling frame in honour of her majesty Mrs Mclusky. There's a lot of football to get through first. And Sybil makes another prediction. And so on.

Frame 147 - Maximum Break. An incredible landmark as the podcast hits its 147th frame. Sadly everyone involved is so knackered that this is going to be a total waste of 20 minutes of your life. Richard seems annoyed to be there, the players can't play, the referee can't remember whose go it is. Absolute fucking shambles.

Frame 146 - No, I'm Czechoslovakia. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker to see who is the best at snooker. They are both tired and dizzy and there are a few fouls in this one and practically no decent play, But you have to take the rough with the smooth and snooker is a game of two halves, so shut up with your complaining and just watch or listen to it and be grateful it's here at all. What's wrong with you?

Frame 145 - Württemberg. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 and Me2 face off on the old green board to try to determine which of them is best at snooker, whilst Richard propositions an 82 year-old woman who was widowed today and everyone gets a bit too excited about Referee 3 (can you spot the mistake she made in setting up the board?). Hang around til the end for the greatest shot ever made in the history of self-playing snooker - great in audio, even better in video. Tech difficulties meant that the latest football scores came at about 8.07pom which is no use to anyone. Sorry.

Frame 144 - Referee Three. In this crucial frame Me 1 takes on Me 2 at snooker to determine who is the best at snooker. And recent refereeing errors mean the frame begins with a bang, with no expense spared for the special effects. Will a new broom sweep the sport clean of claims of corruption. It's an incredibly spooky frame with thrills and spills and pills and gills. Watch to the end. You won't believe what happens.

Frame 143 - Fire Referee 1 (Into the Heart of the Sun). An exhausted Me1 and Me2 take to the old green board to see who will win this crucial frame. They are keen to get it over with as soon as possible, but another monumental refereeing error extends play time. Bad for them, but loads more snooker for you.