So You Think You Can Rule Persia

Time for the last of our first set of rounds before we move on to the next level. Khosrow II Parviz, Cyrus II the Great, Peroz I, Musa, Narseh: which two of these last five will make it through?   You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia Our merch store is here! https://sythycarp-store.printify.me/

Round four is here at last and this time we have a more simple set of choices but let's reminisce nonetheless. Antiochus III the Great, Shapur I, Artaxerxes III Ochus, Yazdegerd I the Accursed, Cyaxares: find out which three we'll bid adieu to. Our new merch store is here! https://sythycarp-store.printify.me/ You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

It's time for a third round on the way to glory and we have some difficult decisions to make! Khosrow I, Bahram Chobin, Ardashir I, Xerxes I, Mithridates I: time for two to leave the others behind   Our new merch store is here! https://sythycarp-store.printify.me/ You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Our first round left a favorite in the dust, the next will be more controversial still! Shapur II, Orodes II, Kavad I, Vologases IV, Mithridates II the Great: which two will be successful and which three will be left behind?   You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

It's time to start thinning the crowd in the rounds! Darius the Great, Seleucus Nicator, Antiochus Epiphanes, Alexander the Great, Sinatruces I: five enter, only two will make it to the next stage!   You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Here's a surprise extra episode for you all! With current events around the conclave, we partnered up with Gregg of Popeular History and Cardinal Numbers to discuss the election of the early caliphs and how they differed or matched the pope in Rome. Find Gregg here at Popeular History and Cardinal Numbers https://www.popeularhistory.com/   You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

With all the kings reviewed, it's time to find who our favorite is so we'll start by drawing up the rounds. After that, we'll see how Sariel would do as monarch of monarchs in a choose your own adventure! You can find the current rounds here! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/final-rounds/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

We've made it at last, welcome to the final episode! Yazdegerd III comes to the throne as a disempowered child but will have the chance to influence historic events that will change Iran forever...   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/04/20/92-yazdegerd-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

We jump back and forwards in time with the last woman to rule all of Iran as everyone desperately tries to find a way out of the crisis. Boran is quite different to her sister but she will do what she can to save the Sassanid dynasty.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/04/13/91-boran/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The Iranians have tried usurpers, children, and random men off the street but nothing is working; maybe this princess will fix things? Join us as Azarmidokht shows people they can still have pride in their empire...for a while.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/04/06/90-azarmidokht/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The son of Shahrbaraz succeeds him after a brief interregnum and will try to establish some legitimacy during the greatest crisis the empire has ever seen. But don't worry, there are many other contenders for the throne. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/03/23/89-shapur-v/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The triumphant (more or less) hero has at last returned home at the low low price of a child's life and the empire's pride. But what brought him to this point, will he rule well, and what will come after him?   Listen to Kingdom here! https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/3qt9v-335976/Kingdom-Swedish-Rulers-Podcast   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/03/16/88-shahrbaraz/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

If there's one thing an empire doesn't need in a time of crisis, it's a child in charge, but maybe this one will be different! Tune in for more Roman meddling, a surprising regent, and a war hero's return.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/03/09/87-ardashir-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Kavad II has overthrown his father and killed most of his brothers to get to the throne. Surely, it was all worth it? Join us for the horsemen of the apocalypse planning a world tour at our expense.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/03/02/86-kavad-ii-shiroe/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The world-conqueror sits upon his throne in glory but Herodotus taught us to count no living man happy. Witness Icarus graze the sun with his fingertips before reality brings everything crashing down.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/02/09/85-khosrow-ii-parviz/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Khosrow's reign starts out with him as a puppet to the Romans first and the nobility second, how does he go from that to being called the Victorious? It will take a lot of skill, a lot of luck, and even more hubris.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/02/09/85-khosrow-ii-parviz/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Bahram Chobin is the first non-Sassanid to rule in three centuries, will he make it stick? Tune in to hear about messianic prophecies, trick shots, and the first glimpse of the oncoming storm.   Get your Intelligent Speech tickets here! https://intelligentspeechonline.com/event/intelligent-speech-conference-2025/ You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2025/02/02/84-bahram-vi-chobin/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Just a brief announcement on the Intelligent Speech Conference on the theme of Deception! On the 8th of February, Umberto will participate in a couple of panels and host a talk titled "A Throne of Lies: From False Neros to Would-be Messiahs". Get your tickets here! https://intelligentspeechonline.com/event/intelligent-speech-conference-2025/

It's always hard to follow up on a talented father, even more if your grandfather was talented as well. In this episode, Hormizd will do his best to keep up with his ancestors and deal with the nobles' displeasure.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/12/15/83-hormizd-iv/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Khosrow has vanquished all the enemies of Iran from west to east, north to south; now comes the time for internal reform and restructuring. Join us for happy farmers, terrified nobles, and one last Roman war. You can purchase the graphic novel "Ammianus, vesper mundi" in English, Italian, or Latin, at https://www.nubes.live/en/product/ammianus-vesper-mundi/ You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/11/17/82-khosrow-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Kavad needs a strong heir to complete his reforms and Khosrow is just that man. From west to east of the empire, he will be feared by Justinian and the Hephthalites while he endeavors to build a new golden age.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/11/17/82-khosrow-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

We know how Jamasp's story ends, he's often a blip in Kavad's reign but that doesn't mean we skip him. Tune in to find out what it's like to be a puppet and whether he actually had agency in his brother's usurpation. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/11/10/81-jamasp/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Kavad rises to the throne in a very difficult situation, with enemies internal and external all around. But he has a solution...to all of it; all it will take is massive social upheaval and dueling a certain Justinian.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/11/03/80-kavad-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Oh no, everything is on fire and the empire is about to fall, will Balash save us all? Not really... But it's time to find the unlikeliest of heroes and give the nobles a grudging "well done". You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/10/20/79-balash/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Inviting a massive horde of nomads to invade your homeland is often a bad idea. Peroz can't see the harm in it; after all, when have the consequences of my actions ever affected *me*. Perhaps this one time... You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/10/13/78-peroz-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Leaving the succession up to the nobles is often a bad idea and today we find out how bad the consequences can possibly be. Join us for a fratricidal war, a disappointed mom, and a thundering of hooves. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/10/06/77-hormizd-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The middle Yazdegerd of the bunch pops up with a stable succession and an empire doing reasonably well. In his reign, he'll try to handle Armenia, the nobles, and deal with some new rumblings in the east. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/09/22/76-yazdegerd-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The civil war is over so let's meet the king that survived. This Bahram here has an epithet and it's a cool one to boot! Tune in to learn about hunting, epic poems, and bid a fond farewell to Armenia.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/09/16/75-bahram-v-gur/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Starting out with an inauspicious name is Khosrow the Usurper who doesn't even get a number! However, you will be happy to hear that there's a story about usurpation, puppets, and extreme violence towards lions. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/09/08/74-khosrow-the-usurper/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Our previous good king for a while has been murdered by nobles so now we have to deal with the succession. Shapur is already king of Armenia so everything will be easy for him right? Right??   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/09/01/73-shapur-iv/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Welcome the first Yazdegerd of the lot! He'll actually try his best to improve things: peace, religious toleration, a sensible government. He must be stopped before things go too well, and the nobles know a guy... You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/08/11/72-yazdegerd-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Murder and betrayal abound in Iran but will a new Bahram manage to fix it all? Not likely but hey, we get to talk about a story Attila the Hun told at a dinner party this one time. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2022/10/02/15-artaxerxes-iii-ochus/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Shapur III carries an important name that gave us two greats, will he be up for the challenge? He'll face another situation in Armenia, nomads in the east, and complaints about tent manufacturing. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/07/07/70-shapur-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

After the long successful reign of Shapur II, we get a caretaker king to rule until the heir comes of age. Will he actually give up power? Will Shapur's legacy collapse? Join to find out. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/06/23/69-ardashir-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Shapur has made a name for himself in his first decades of life but now he must face Julian the Apostate and end the war with Rome. Find out here how he fares and what legacy he will leave behind You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/06/09/68-shapur-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Crowned before even being born, Shapur has a difficult life ahead of him with raids from without and treacherous nobles from within. But despite all of that, he gets two episodes, join us to discover how.   You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/06/09/68-shapur-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Our last king was murdered for daring to make things better but now his son is in charge! Will he succeed? Probably not. But join us for the introduction of the youngest ruler in history. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/06/02/67-adur-narseh/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia  

After humiliation at the hands of Rome, Narseh's branch of the dynasty continues under Hormizd who wants to get everything back on track. Also, it's time to meet our new recurring friends, the Arabs.  You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/05/19/66-hormizd-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

We're finally out of Bahrams and the promised heir is here, will Narseh live up to his reputation now that he's king of kings? Join us for a quest for legitimacy, an internal reform, and a rematch with Rome. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/05/05/65-narseh/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Third Bahram of the list, will he be lucky? Or is he going to be brutally overthrown by great-uncle Narseh? The nobles and religious establishment have a big decision before them, let's hope they choose right. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/04/21/64-bahram-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

This newest Bahram comes highly recommended by his father and the religious establishment, anyone else? Not really. Oh and this comes at a time when all the Sassanid neighbors are in turmoil? Excellent. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/04/14/63-bahram-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Bahram was never meant to be king of kings, but now he's finally gotten the job thanks to good old-fashioned corruption. Will he herald a new golden age? No. Will he commit some atrocities? You can bet on it. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/04/07/62-bahram-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

After Shapur's exhaustive succession plan, we have Hormizd on the throne at last. Will he live up to his famous father and grandfather? Join us for Kartir, Mani, and a questionable end. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/03/17/61-hormizd-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The Sassanids have started strong and now Shapur has stepped up to the throne. In a lifetime full of action, he's going to make sure to treat the empire's fatigue with some very fine Valerian. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/03/03/60-shapur-i/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

A new dawn rises from Persia as Ardashir founds his dynasty. How will the empire change with this new management? Will the Sassanids follow in the Arsacids' footsteps or will they choose to change things up a bit? You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/02/18/59-ardashir-i-the-great/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Today we welcome back our Queen of Queens! Plumas is back again to talk to us about Madayazna, Zoroastrianism, and much more now that we'll be heading into the new world of the Sassanid Empire.  You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/02/11/58-5-plumas/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The empire is not in a good place, it sorely needs an injection of energy and competence to survive. Enter Vologases, will he manage to overcome rebellions and an ambitious brother to triumph? Wait, who's this Ardashir fellow? You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/02/04/58-vologases-vi/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia  

The previous Vologases managed to keep the empire stable for a good few decades. Now his son has the customary Roman invasion to deal with but there are concerning stirrings of revolt from Persia, where will this go? You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/01/22/57-vologases-v/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

After a tumultuous reign, a new Vologases has taken over Parthia and starteed a new branch of the dynasty. He will now have to deal with more Roman trouble, a devastating plague and...stability maybe? You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/01/14/56-vologases-iv/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

Parthia is split between east and west, the Kushans are ravaging the east and Trajan is getting ready to set the west alight. Will the empire survive? Is Vologases the man for the job? Seems unlikely. You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2024/01/07/55-vologases-iii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia

The empire is back on its feet and ready for a great century, only something absolutely catastrophic could stop us now. To shreds you say? What about our defenses against the Romans? To shreds you say? You can find all the images on our website! https://soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia.wordpress.com/2023/12/17/54-pacorus-ii/ Here's the link to our Patreon! www.patreon.com/soyouthinkyoucanrulepersia