Bitter Chatter

HO HO HO! This is insufferable year has nearly come to it's merciful conclusion! I mean- MERRY CHRISTMAS (To those who celebrate it). This holiday is considered both joyful and suffocatingly corporate, but everyone in the world has some form of Christmas memory. So let's take a trip to the North Pole, steal from Santa's frighteningly large intelligence database, find our two favorite idiot boys, and listen to them talk about how this holiday has been for them over the years! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

I bet you thought we'd do our Halloween special during Halloween, huh? Well now you're in for a spooky Thanksgiving surprise! These walking dead aren't very grateful to be part of our new gameshow, but maybe some crisp Zombucks will persuade them? Nope... no, it seems all that did was confuse them. And it made that one little girl one cry. Uh oh. Uh, in the mean time while we slowly back away from this situation and try to nab ourselves a Cornetto, come join us for the brand new hit show that's sweeping the remnants of civilization! Who Wants To Be A Zombillionaire? No really, I'm asking. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

The boys are out getting milk at the store this week, but not in that way. That's such a cliché. We'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming in time, but for now we're gonna take a walk down memory lane and relive some classic goofs, gaffs, and the inescapable heat-death of our own intelligence. Join us, won't you? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

It's Sunday afternoon. The Jets are down by 30 with 2 minutes left. Things are looking pretty glum, but you're still going to do this all again next week. Why is that? Because the NFL is a titanic industry that has hooked itself into the brains of every football fan in the world. But why is it so enticing? Well this week Brooks and Carmine take a look at half of the league (the AFC half) and discuss each team and how they got to where they are now. Oh shit... sports. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Where have we been? Well, for the last few weeks we've seemingly been right here. But what about the last time we actually rose from our coffins to live the only real existence that is being on Bitter Chatter? Well we watched a lot of new things and we wanna talk about it. So here's that! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Become prepared for the most recent installment of Unsweet Conversations! Alright, screw that. Synonyms are too hard. And that difficulty is on full display in this episode as our two stupid heroes try to decipher their native language in a game full of twists, turns, and terrible guesses! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

What happens when two men of questionable intellect are put into a simulation that affords them limited control of their reality? How does a masterful technological system respond to the whims of nitwits? Allow us to escort you down the rabbit hole, back through time, and into tomorrow. Here, we shall create legends together. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Oh? You're asking us questions? Instead of listening silently, you're handing the content right to us? Well good, because we can't answer the heck out of your questions if you don't... ask them. So yeah. Welcome to the second official Bitter Chatter Q&A session! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Life is conflict and pain. But sometimes... it's not? That depends on you. Now, you have been shown the obstacle. You see it staring back at you. You've assessed the situation, you know the odds, and you've been presented the ultimate question. Will you fight? Or will you give up? Please don't give up, listen to the episode. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Aaaaah the Disney films! Celebrated everywhere for their excellence. There is a stupid podcast intending to rank these films, fueled by a hubris inspired by that very same excellence. As these three goofs finish off this tournament dedicated to desecrating on movies that will always be someone's favorite, you should join them and revel in the pride that you're not as crazy as they are. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

We're back! I can't believe it's only been a month. It feels like we were gone for way longer than that! Almost like... almost like eight months or something! But we're back now and ready to kick off our next tournament! What's that? Kingdom Hearts Lore Part 2? Uh... Hey! You know who was in Kingdom Hearts? A lot of Disney characters! It's time for the Disney Movie Tournament! Featuring special guest Ellie! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Spoiler alert: we don't. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

You see, kids, back in my day we used to go to these things called "live events." It was a special time where hundreds, sometimes thousands of people would gather to watch a spectacle of their choosing as one crowd. I know that may sound big and scary now, what with Big Germ and all, but back then we only cared about the thrill of it. Now get cozy and let your two platonic grandfathers regale you with stories of these times long passed. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Why settle for one best-of compilation when you can have two? And that applies to pretty much anything in life really. Dogs, tacos, the screams of your enemies, cats. The possibilities are endless. But back to the main point, here's more best-of! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Folks, we've had some laughs. Okay well at least I have. And we will continue to have many more, but this week we decided to take a look back at some of the best moments these two dumb boys have provided through insightful conversation, introspective thought, and having absolutely no idea what's going on. Enjoy the first ever Bitter Chatter Best Of! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

The snail is coming. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Skulls crunching beneath your feet, catching falling bats on your tongue, and decorating the family spider web! Join your two favorite simpletons as they sit next to the campfire with glasses of blood and embrace the holiday spirit...or at least some kind of spirit. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

What if, and stick wit me here, there was a game? But not just any game. In this game, you collect squids to power-up your big evil robot. But what if the squid-bot becomes too powerful and self-aware? What if it decides to eradicate the squid population in order to achieve peace? What if this description made any sense at all? The world may never know... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

If you've been on TikTok lately, then odds are you've seen or at least heard of the now infamous "Couch Guy" video. The internet has brewed up yet another cyclical storm talking about the couple featured in said video, and this week the boys have a few choice words on the matter. But don't worry, the usual brainless banter soon follows. Good ol' monkey brains. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Knock knock! Who is it? A robot. A robot who? A robot who, when questioned about his past, will begin sweating profusely and shouting, "No YOU'RE nervous! YOU'RE the one that looks guilty! Stop pestering me! I made ONE MISTAKE!" and crying. Would you want to share your apocalypse-readiness bunker with this robot? What if he also could sing like Frank Sinatra? It's questions almost exactly like these that the boys will be answering today. One by one the visitors will come knocking, and they must decide: who is granted shelter, and who is left out in the wasteland? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

How well do you know me? Well, due to our para-social relationship, I'd wager you only "know" me on a very surface level and any intimate details of my life that have not been shared on air are a complete and utter mystery to you because outside of this content we are little more than strangers to one another. But can you guess what my favorite book is!? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Let me ask you a question. No, wait... Okay, we're off to a bad start here but it's time for a Q&A session! We've cast our nets, browsed the net, and bought tickets to watch the Brooklyn Nets (that last one was less fruitful than we expected) and came back with some amazing questions asked by you, the listeners! Now enjoy as the boys combine their remaining functioning braincells like a pathetic microscopic Megazord and tackle the questions that you threw at them. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Respect the brand! Well, actually, disrespect the brands and demolish corporate capitalism before it demolishes what's left of civilized society. But for the sake of this quiz the boys are about to give each other that will test their knowledge of different brand slogans and the fat cat marketing machines that repeat them like a bad pop song chorus, then yeah, respect the brand! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Now I understand why you cry. It's because ogres are onions, and onions make you cry. Also, you watched The Breakfast Club and sometimes that movie makes people cry. I'm struggling here, folks. This episode sees the boys conclude their movie tournament and quite frankly it's a roller coaster of emotions and stupidity. Buckle up. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Who doesn't love putting on a movie, grabbing some popcorn, and getting lost in a wonderful story brought to life by an amazing collaborative effort? Well yeah, we all love putting on 1 movie at a time. But the boys have 32 movies sitting on their desks and the boss wants this narrowed down to one movie by 3pm! She's gonna have to wait a couple weeks though, because there's only one way the boys know how to solve a problem like this: it's tournament time! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

What would you do if these two dillweeds decided to talk in circles about hypothetical scenarios a second time? Or, to clarify, would you hypothetically listen to a podcast where, oh I don't know, the topic of eagles dropping turtles on the heads of unsuspecting humans were to arise? Just hypothetically, of course. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

In what will probably be the strangest and shortest Bitter Chatter episode ever, the boys decide to do something unheard of: they're going to prepare for the next tournament on their line-up! Join us for a brief adventure where these goofs will narrow down which movies will be making the cut for the upcoming movie tournament arc and which movies will be left behind! ...Do you guys hear Seth MacFarlane? --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Here, let me take you to a room. It's a simple room. No fancy layout or illustrious door. But there are many decorations inside. The room is littered with outcasts and throwaways. It's a room with a purpose. Its purpose is to house all things unwanted, all things discarded. Go on, take a look inside... and have fun in Room 101. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Here's a quiz for you. Why would anyone, let alone two anyones, willingly sit through nearly two more hours worth of ridiculous Buzzfeed quizzes that ultimately reap no new knowledge and do nothing to benefit the mind, body, or spirit of oneself in any way whatsoever? ... WELL WE'VE LISTED 10 AMAZING REASONS IN THIS EPISODE! NUMBER 6 WILL MAKE YOU SNIFF YOUR UNCLE AND SLAP A ROCK! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Hey, you! Yeah, you! No not...no, the other one. Okay yes, you! Would you like to know which former U.S. President you're most likely to hallucinate about next time you eat some bad sushi? Then take this quirky quiz where we'll ask you how many cats you think would fit inside each of these Ford pickup trucks! Or just listen to this podcast where the Bitter Chatter boys take dumb online quizzes instead. That sounds better. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Well now look what we have here...I mean other than the first late episode. It looks like the internet isn't all it's cracked up to be, now is it? Sometimes the people you follow turn out to be less than ideal. Sometimes the things you watch just go away. Sometimes one idiot forgets to upload the damn episode on time I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF it's fine, I'm fine. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Ah, the internet. Celebrated everywhere for it's vastness...it's terrifying, unending vastness. The internet has brought about many horrible things, such as this podcast, but it has also brought about an entire generation of strange children turned into strange adults. Oh my god we're adults now. Alright forget all this existential nonsense, let's talk about goofy old websites and memes for a couple hours. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

For every sun, there is a moon. For every victory, there is a loss. For every pizza, there is a sauerkraut. And for every Dark Cloud, there is Heavy Rain. The boys spent last episode talking about their favorite video games and the titles that brought them joy in their youth. Now they've come crashing back down into a harsh reality where they've been swiftly kicked in the grundle with the reminder that David Cage exists. Also Carmine is a goober who forgot to put the 3x3s in the video version last week. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Ah, the video game. Dating back to the ancient beginnings of recorded history, 1958, video games have always been referred to as "man's best friend." So what could be more fitting than two friends with no patience for each other sitting down and recording a podcast where they talk about their favorite video games, from childhood to crippling old age of 26. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Ellie Wilmer is joining the boys again and this time our heroic trio is tackling the struggle that all of mankind can relate to: our fears! Some fears are universal while others are unique to each individual, but 2 hours with these idiots will make anyone afraid for the future of humanity. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

What's that? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No. In fact it's not even in the air so I'm really not sure why you only guessed flying things. But it's a special guest! And not just any special guest, but Bitter Chatter's very own resident simp, Ellie Wilmer! Join Brooks, Carmine, and Ellie as they tackle the big wide world of cosplaying as well as their own experiences with it! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

"What is a song? [flings Zune aside] A miserable little pile of notes!" This is what Brooks had to say when asked about his opinion on Hollywood Undead. "Frankly I'm offended, and if at all possible I'd like to pursue legal action against them to the greatest extent of the law." This is what Carmine had to say when asked about his opinion on Red Hot Chili Peppers. But it's not all doom and gloom this week as the boys mainly discussed their favorite songs and artists while shuffling through their playlists! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Hypothetically speaking, what would you do if two boys with questionable intelligence sat down in front of some microphones and started arguing over the survival instincts of celebrity chefs and the likelihood of business venture success with different fictional criminals? And what if I told you that this scenario is no longer hypothetical and is actually the entire premise of this week's episode where sanity slowly fades away and they start talking about Stinky Pete? Hypothetically, of course. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

The very notion of film itself can be rhetorically whittled to the bare nub of its meaning. But don't tell Carmine that, or else he'll go on a 10-minute long tirade about how you're not smarter than him just because he watched Bill & Ted three times in a row. This week, the boys intended to talk about something completely different but ended up ranting about movies and directors for 2 hours. It's a brilliant case study on the human condition and- uh oh here he comes. Just listen for yourself, I gotta go! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

The dust has settled from the Great TV Tournament and a surplus of salt has been left in it's wake. As we all know, there's only one thing to do with that much salt. Or is there? Maybe that's up for debate, and if there's a debate to be had then Carmine and Brooks will never hesitate to participate. So buckle up as the boys tackle some hot takes and hard stances in the world of culinary cornerstones! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Oops! All the remaining rounds! In this extended episode of Bitter Chatter, we decide to finish off the overwhelmingly powerful TV Tournament once and for all. Join Brooks and Carmine for rounds 2 through 6 as we decide, with definitive impunity, what is the greatest TV show of all time (out of these 64)! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Oh boy, we might be here a while. 16 shows were eliminated in our last episode, and 16 more will be stricken from eternity today. Judgement is harsh and cruel, but fair. With the snap of our fingers, we shall eradicate half of the remaining first round competitors from the illustrious TV Tournament. Come, witness the fallen and honor their efforts. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

For as long as humanity has been able to ask questions, we've asked "What's the best TV show of all time?" Science has never been able to calculate it, and faith has scorned all who ask. But finally, as if it was their destiny, two boys with a podcast have decided to answer this age-old question by creating an arbitrary tournament bracket. It will take much delegation and perseverance, but we will find our answer. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support

Sam Brooks and Carmine Antonelli are two idiots with one podcast and one shared braincell. In their pilot episode they introduce themselves and their new laid-back conversational show. Welcome to Bitter Chatter! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carmine-antonelli/support