Help Me Be Me

Tools for regaining a sense of autonomy and self-confidence if you find that you are clinging and overly sensitive to the opinions of others. So if you are in a codependent relationship or you feel trapped in that fear-based loop that can happen when you are too consumed by a relationship, and you feel small and powerless, this is an episode for you. These are exercises – both physical and written- to do in order to condition your mind and body to resume a more empowered headspace. Strong. Self-assured. If you are feeling reliant on someone else or something else – like your value is somehow dictated by that thing, try starting here. I did these steps myself recently and found them to be re-centering and enlightening.

Burnout shows up as a loss of meaning – it might feel like everything is hard, or pointless, or not worth doing. So if you are experiencing something like that, you might be in that stage of “winter” – when we must go on an inner journey. One that brings forth new play and inspiration and growth. Creativity is an energy. A fountain of love and passion and drive and fun. We all must foster it! It brings us life and it brings the truest value we have, into the world. I am posting this for anyone who is experiencing burnout and in search of their origin: their innate sense of creativity. Because creativity is also play. It does not need to be useful – nor should it be. It does not need to be popular or understood. The soul yearns for an expression that is deeply rewarding, brings joy. I want to bring you all some magic and fire this week in the form of this powerup episode. It has a bunch of tools and exercises to invite forth your creative instincts if you are in the stage of burnout. The books/thinkers I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3aIeuzC and here for Parker J Palmer: https://amzn.to/3vgPSWK To help out this show, check out our sponsor: Better Help. Better Help is online access to therapists, around the globe. So if you are depressed or anxious or feeling stuck, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Feeling we are good enough and that our lives and decisions are valid and make sense – so that we can move into an active and inspired state. This is for anyone who is looking at others and feeling like they are falling short – like they should have what they have. Or maybe you’re focusing on their life their stuff their experiences and feeling resentful and desiring to have that stuff. It’s a painful feeling – often one we don’t want to have. So if that sounds like you, this is an episode for you. Three parts – what why and how! Here's my fave dream book: https://amzn.to/3e9xIPU If you'd like to check out some of my research here's one book with some interesting theories: https://amzn.to/3diN0SS This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. The journal I use is this one: https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5 And to apply for the free chat session you can head here: https://yaywithme.squarespace.com/shop/free-recorded-chat This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself? There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

What to do if you’re feeling lonely right now, mid-pandemic. This is for anyone who is suffering because of social isolation. Maybe you are single and none of your friends are single. Maybe you are normally able to visit others, or they normally visit you, but COVID stopped most of that. Maybe you had lots of casual friends but now they have dropped off the map. Maybe you used to socialize in bars or at the gym or at work. Regardless you feel like you have no one. And that is terrifying in how distant it feels. Like you’re on an iceberg floating far away from the mainland. So here are some tools to deal if that sounds like you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts: the what why and how. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is for anyone who has to self-motivate - maybe you're in the in-between times of employment or you’re trying to get something off the ground that you have made yourself, from scratch. When we only have ourselves to be accountable to. It’s easy to feel like nothing you do matters. When in reality, it does. So if this sounds like you right now – these are some words I wanted to pass along. Having been in those places many a time – what I can see, now in retrospect. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is my interview with author and stand-up comic, Sam Tallent. His new book– Running the Light, is fiction– it’s fantastic and it’s available at SamTallent.com A burst of inspiration for anyone worried about whether or not what they want to make– is worth it. This is an episode (inspired by my husband, Adam) all about creativity, going for it and not letting external systems decide your creative output in this life. I found this conversation very energizing and inspiring – I hope you do as well! The book I referenced in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/38xDwkE Some of the books Sam referenced are here: https://amzn.to/38upu35 https://amzn.to/3oA5gub https://amzn.to/2XvyWwE This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Hi friends! This is a short episode all about what the theme of this show means to me. So if you're struggling and you don't know why you keep blowing up your life, this is a little bit of inspiration for you. If you don't like therapy or you don't think there's help out there for you, think again and take a listen. And if you've been through trauma at some point in your life - definitely read this book: https://amzn.to/2Wm5KaN ...and don't lose hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is a little inspirational power-up episode for anyone who is feeling stuck and uninspired. This was something I wrote 5 years ago but I felt like it could help people today, right now. So if you're feeling uninspired or stuck, this one's for you! The two people I mention in the episode are here: https://thekickasslife.com/ https://amzn.to/3ngWbGl

It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is a power-up (shorter) episode for anyone who has been living in a purely reactive state where they are going through the motions/dealing with thousands of to-do’s. It’s really easy to forget what is good and fun in your life and with that, we start expecting/seeing only the serious and dire around us. It’s also easy to forget what makes you You, and what makes that self-awesome. This is a little energy-setting reminder. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is for anyone who wakes up and feels like a different person. One who they really don’t like. And you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you did something really terrible and you thought you knew yourself, but you now realize you didn’t know yourself. It could be a shameful action or a revelation about yourself. It’s paralyzing and ugly and crippling in how it makes you feel. This is rock bottom. The fucking worst of days. Where do you go from here? That’s what this episode is about. Because the hardest most impossible changes we make in life – are a choice. This is a shorter episode because it’s a simple message. The goal of this episode is to help you turn around. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

How being overly identified with what others think is tied to a lack of self-love. This is for anyone who doesn’t trust themselves and generally doesn’t feel they’re a quality person. If you act in really selfish and self-destructive ways – maybe you betray others and lie or cheat. Or you feel really heavily identified with your body or your appearance, or the attention of others – but you don’t feel there’s much more that’s good about you and who you are, then this is for you. This is about beginning the process of understanding why this is happening and also starting to build up faith that you are a good person. The mindfulness books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3izGVla https://amzn.to/32jI371 https://amzn.to/2RkNBHY This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the present joy of a relationship, something that can make you feel haunted or like you are going crazy. The worst part of insecurities is you unfriend yourself in the process. You don’t feel you SHOULD feel the way you do, so it makes you feel shitty about yourself FOR feeling shitty about yourself. Often what we do in these situations is pretend it isn’t happening. So if this sounds true for you – this is an episode for you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts – the what, why, and how the tools. This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 48 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is for anyone who has escaped a relationship with a narcissist and they reach out to you, out of the blue – and how to navigate that situation. So if you were manipulated, taken advantage of, and could not find your way out of a relationship that left you feeling like the shell of a human – you were likely with a narcissist. Getting out of this kind of relationship is extremely difficult – so the eventual reach-out from this person might leave you feeling sick to your stomach. I send you my love and please stay strong! The two previous episodes I have done on this topic are here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/ep-111-how-to-tell-if-youre-dating-a-narcissist The book I mentioned that I like on this topic is here: https://amzn.to/3iFhYEC This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

One of the hardest things to do is give up or accept a loss, even if we are unhappy and have been for a really long time. This is for anyone stuck in ambivalence over a decision to create a change in their life. Sometimes this happens when you are in a long relationship and you feel you can’t leave it – even though you are not happy and you don’t feel in love. Another common scenario is when you are in a field you don’t love but you have been to school for x number of years so you feel like you can’t leave now. It’s so scary to trust the feelings you have when you know they can sometimes change – especially when weighing this against something that is valuable in the eyes of the world. The book I referenced by Dan Ariely is here: https://amzn.to/2DwW9bl This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story. So if you are telling yourself the wrong one, or you want to tune up the habits you have around negative narratives about yourself, this is an episode for you. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, why and how the tools. This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 24 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is an episode about whether to make your creative passion into your job and how to create for public consumption, especially if you are a sensitive person. I have had several people ask me about podcasting and how to get started in it. I have also mentored several people in creative fields – so this is a blend of what I have shared with those people. In sum this is for anyone making the decision to do creative work and how it should come about in your life so you can thrive. - - - - If you are currently struggling with your mental health and are interested in trying therapy, you can be paired with a therapist within 24 hours via your phone or computer. To get started, simply fill out a brief survey and you will be paired with a licensed counselor – and it’s free to switch if you don’t like the first one you get. For 10% off your first month of therapy and to support this show head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

This is an episode for those dealing with a fragile emotional state and they don’t know what to do with themselves. Who I am speaking to here are those who are overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn. The letters I am getting are not all related to one source of upheaval: Some of you are struggling to process anger and feelings of powerlessness over injustice. Some of you are struggling to deal with anxiety and sadness on top of anger and powerlessness. Some of you are feeling so many things that you feel as if you are going to break into a million pieces. Some of you feel useless and like nothing you do matters. Some of you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed by COVID and worried about the uncertainty of the future. And there is so much happening right now – so much emotional upheaval, on top of the isolation we are already suffering due to COVID, and the uncertainty of the future, there are the high levels of joblessness. There’s a lot of toxicity in the news and especially in social media right now. In short - there’s a lot to manage, understand and process - especially if you are already someone who suffers from anxiety or depression. And especially if you are someone who really cares about doing the right thing – and you feel unable to be active in that right now. A lot of you who have never experienced trauma or have never been pushed to your threshold as far as dealing with overwhelm and anxiety – now’s a difficult time to be going through that. Why? Because resources for self-soothing and grounding are limited due to COVID. So this episode is slightly different – first I will address those in an immediate state of “I feel like I’m going to explode or jump out a window!” Then I have some tools for the coming weeks for day to day negative thinking and anxiety. - - - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Better Help – remote therapy with licensed counselors, which is a great option if you are emotionally overwhelmed right now. If you want to support this show and get 10% off your first month of therapy, head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe xo

This is an episode that answers questions from the audience about fears around having kids, and since I am about to give birth to my second child, I thought it timely! It's a followup to an episode I did a few years back on the same topic. The questions I answer are as follows: 1. I love my life now, I’m afraid of not being able to do what I want when I want to do it. I’m also afraid of another being depending so critically on me. How do I know if I should have kids? 2. How will my anxiety be when I’m a parent? 3. What is it like to never have a break? How do you adjust and get through? 4. What joys of parenting have you found ground you? 5. What are the normal highs and lows and how do you ride them? For anyone new listening to this show, I am a regular person who has lived through a lot of random difficult shit and come out the other end pretty happy, high functioning, with healthy relationships. I am not a therapist or a scholar! So take what helps and leave the rest. A couple of books on this subject (and for once you have a baby) that I recommend are here: https://amzn.to/2yngOfy https://amzn.to/2LV5IBv https://amzn.to/2Zr4fLf https://amzn.to/2XinR1D - - - - - This show is brought to you by our latest sponsor: Better Help – licensed therapists you can see from the privacy of your couch! If you are interested in trying out therapy(at a lower cost), and you want to support this show, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for 10% off your first month of care. xo!

This is an episode for if you have a painful obsession with an ex or a pervasive habit of fixating on relationships: they’re more important than job, personal time, family and friends. And often that relationship is one you know isn’t great – but you still obsess about that person, and it consumes your life. This might be especially painful during quarantine because you’re unable to distract yourself and do something about it. This is about putting yourself in ridiculously desperate positions, clinging to a relationship – even when you know it isn’t right for you. And that gush of fear, terror, loneliness, pain that overwhelms you and causes you to feel like you’d do ANYTHING to get someone to come back to you. It can make you act in crazy and degrading ways – but the pain of not having a person is too great. This was a request from a few different people (some of whom requested it quite a long time ago - so hopefully this is still helpful)!! The two books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/2SOD9d2 https://amzn.to/35IuJsU For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

If you are one of those people who are trying to make the world a better place and that process is taking a lot out of you – causing you vicarious trauma and a deeper kind of damage that affects your ability to continue to contribute to the good of others, then this is an episode for you! You might not even realize that this is happening to you – but maybe you have noticed that you exist in survival mode all the time and it has changed you. You might be irritable, exhausted, depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, and thinking dark thoughts that you know are not right or appropriate for a healthy happy person to be thinking. If that sounds like you – this episode is a starting point. As with all of my episodes take what helps and leave the rest. I am just a regular person – I have no certificates whatsoever. So if you are suffering in a really bad way, please call 9-1-1 or your local emergency services. For more of my writing, to work with me, make a request or make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com xo And to read more on this topic check out this AMAZING book that is a reference for this research: https://amzn.to/2XY8lKn - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

This is an episode dedicated to self-regulation, if you are in and out of a state of panic, you get lost in your emotions, or perhaps even experiencing symptoms of trauma. Maybe you just lost someone – or your lost something, like your sense of security or your job. Or maybe you are fear-forecasting and feeling very overwhelmed by the outlook of the future – like figuring all of this out is impossible. This episode begins with a grounding exercise and ends with the 21-days-of-Happiness challenge. (I threw that in there because it’s an effective way to train your focus away from what’s wrong – so please don’t think I’m being flip by including it!) In between, there are a lot of tools for talking yourself back into a rational headspace. That said if you are feeling like you can't emotionally handle wherever you are right now, reach out to your local emergency services or check out this hotline: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ I hope this helps you and if you’re looking for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

This is anyone struggling with anxiety and worry right now – maybe you’re having a hard time being quarantined, maybe you are now out of work, or maybe you’re getting overwhelmed by reading the news because of the various effects of coronavirus. Whatever it is, if you find yourself in a seemingly endless state of stress and you are dooming and glooming, this is an episode for you. This episode has 3 parts but it’s mostly tools. And heads up – I couldn’t get into the recording studio thanks to said virus, so this one has a lot of background noise. Apologies in advance!! For more of my work and to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon. Thanks! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high-quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

This is an episode all about oversharing when you start a new relationship – consciously or unconsciously, and when that negatively affects your life. So for example – if you end up disclosing everything bad that has happened to you on a first date (romantic or friend), and you end up feeling naked and awkward after the fact. Or you find that you end up oversharing as a way to get people to pay attention to you – but this leads to relationships that are less than positive, on the whole in your life. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, the why, and the how – the tools. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com ! xo - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

In this episode, I am going to tackle a question from the audience (how to deal with rejection) and then go right into some tools! How to deal with rejection is a big one! It’s a muscle you have to intentionally grow. But quite literally it’s one of the most valuable muscles you can have because it means you move through life directly – with purpose, not guided by fear. It also means you grow exponentially. There are two pains in rejection: the loss of something imagined/the sadness of mourning. And second - the injury to ego. This second pain is the one that tends to fuck us up the most. Hopefully, I will offer you some tools for managing these pains and helping yourself move through rejection more quickly and positively, in the future! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon xo!

This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

This is an episode all about when we start living life from our routine of “should’s” versus stopping to ask ourselves whether or not we are happy. When we get into a machine mode, going through the motions – we are on an autopilot of sorts. We are only operating from the neck up. This is when our life’s decisions are based on what we think we should do based on whatever particular responsibilities we have during that time. Yes, the brain is what serves us most in terms of survival – but it can lead us into a state of emptiness and resent if we don’t stop to listen to our heart and gut, too! (If you’re a caregiver who is not as happy as you think you “should be” based on everything you have, this is an episode for you – too!) For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

This is an episode for anyone who feels like self-help and steps toward personal growth haven’t worked for them and they likely won’t. Maybe that’s because you feel alienated by most of the content out there, or maybe that’s because you feel like all the change you try to make does nothing: you just can’t win. Or maybe you feel like you haven’t made enough progress in your life in the areas that matter most to you: relationships, self-control, career success, happiness, confidence… etc. So you just feel stuck in a rut. Or maybe you just feel resentful toward all the people who seem to apply self-help easily to their lives. You might think….Self-help doesn’t work for me. I never can change, I don’t take the steps, I don’t read the books. I am royally fucked in my issues – I don’t see them going away anytime soon. Most people don’t resonate with me or “get” my issues. This is also for you if you are in a place where nothing seems to work for you – if you want to believe all the touchy-feely optimistic stuff but in the past it hasn’t worked for you. Maybe you are staring at your gratitude jar and saying “Why me? Why won’t things work out for me?” As with most of my episodes, there are three parts - the what the why and the how the tools. To read more of my work, see the products and services I offer, and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This is a set of journal prompts for you to reflect on as you orient yourself for the year and reflect back on the years previous. This is what I have done and I got a lot out of it. I think you will, too. I like it because it draws on data while really bringing out more of what’s positive. It matters WHY you do something – because if you don’t really want to in your heart of hearts, it’s much harder to do it. These are reflections that allow you to set goals focused on what has made you the happiest. I hope you enjoy it and happy 2020! If you have any requests, comments or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo

Shame and trauma cannot be separated – they are incredibly interwoven. The reason I created this episode is shame is virtually unavoidable if you’ve been through a trauma and often times the shame is even harder to process and heal from. Why? Shame is an unseen self-authoring wound. It creates a whole slew of behaviors because we are tasked with carrying it – and as you are aware, shame is toxic. In order for us to contain it we need a wide buffer: a padding between it and consciousness. However, the way we create this is often very damaging and shame-inducing. So it’s a domino effect. And so most people avoid it for many years – why? It is too painful for us to look at. It’s also painful for others – if it tells you anything it’s often also avoided by therapists, because of how much discomfort it causes. So this is really just an entry-level exploration of possible shame in your person. Inspired by my own recent enlightenments. They happen the tiniest bit at a time. I also have some reading for you on the topic: Book 1 (for mindfulness intro): https://amzn.to/378upTT Book 2 (for more about shame/trauma): https://amzn.to/2sjyfuz reference for this piece: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/anzf.1275 For comments, requests and to make a donation head to yaywithme.com Yay.

If you are one of those people who debates things in your mind endlessly, shuts down, isolates – this is for you. This is for you only if you find that this is causing you issues in your communication with others, difficulty in your relationships or perhaps you notice that its affecting your confidence. This might be especially relevant for anyone out there who is heading back home for the holidays – if you return to your family of origin, all sorts of old drama can come up. You become a very sensitive organ reacting to very old wounds. There’s a lot in here about triggering family members and how to negotiate that situation. Shout out to two listeners in particular! Hope this helps! Xox For more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo!

By scripts I am talking self-judgment. Negative self-talk. The things we perceive inside our heads – that tell us how to act and dictate what we believe about ourselves. We all have things we believe about ourselves and how we are perceived. However, there’s something very different that is experienced by the outside world. This episode is calling attention to that gap and examining whether or not it’s working for or against you. Because you can change everything in your life by changing how you interpret it! If you want to check it out – this is the book that inspired this episode: https://amzn.to/31PUyU8 For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This is an episode about the self-soothing habits that we have that do not help us. For some that is online shopping. For some that is eating. And for some that is getting likes or getting hit on. What these have in common is they don’t fulfill us or make us feel whole. They actually end up making us feel an ever-increasing void where it matters most: on the inside. For more of my writing, to ask a question, and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit Patreon.com/sarahmayb Xox! To check out an article with more info about shopping addiction, head here: https://www.elle.com/fashion/shopping/a41845/shopping-dopamine/

This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them. For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: thehotline.org or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relationship that you have been unable to leave – then know that it’s HARD but it’s not impossible. I’ve read that it takes an average of 7 to 8 times to leave – so whatever you do, don’t give up. As with all my episdes, there are three parts – the what, why and how the tools. To make a donation and for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This was inspired by a friend of mine saying, “I’m not too many steps from a crazy person.” That really resonated with me – because it’s true. When life unravels, it’s really easy – and rapid – to get to a point of being completely leveled. Where we have no tools, where we are grasping, begging, underfoot, feeling desperate and worthless. Or crazy. Or like a mess, like life is a mess – like we fucked everything up. No one loves us, etc. So this is a preventative episode about “building your mental house right” – and you’ll hear more about that in the episode. I hope you enjoy! The book I talk about in this episode that I recommend if you are curious (but unsure) about therapy is here: https://amzn.to/33HcEtJ As with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest. I am not a doctor or a professional of any kind. I am a regular person who wants to help. You know you best. If you liked this episode and you would like to make a donation to support this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com and click donate or visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB xo!!

Hi friends!! Apologies for the lag in postings…I have had some super intense hours as of late. But it will lighten up very soon. This is an episode all about the deeper and perhaps more logical causes of depression and anxiety. It’s inspired by a book I just read – which is BRILLIANT. Link at the bottom of the notes. Here’s the gist: Depression and anxiety are both forms of disconnection. We are cut off from things we need as humans – they are basic needs that we don’t realize we have. Because we live in the bubble of culture! You don’t realize how much that culture affects your world view and your habits; the thoughts and feelings you about yourself. If you want to do an experiment to see how conditioned you are by the various facets of culture, I invite you to watch a movie from 10 years ago. We don’t realize the messages we are receiving all the time and the power of those messages. A lot of our cultural depression is a literal mourning of consistent life experiences that we are meant to have– things that are vital to our baseline as humans. These needs aren’t being properly recognized, addressed, and or processed. I think – because a lot of people don’t know how REAL and NECESSARY they are! Back in the day, life was kind of set up around these basic needs – we had smaller villages where everyone had a role, and you were close to your family. Community networks kind of sustained everyone in these really core human needs. The isolation that we now experience – paired with the focus on external possessions really keeps us all in a state of chasing. So if you are struggling with a sense of chronic emptiness and you cannot see a logical cause, this episode is for you. And more importantly – this book is for you – it’s called “Lost Connections.” https://amzn.to/2SxK4WM For more of my work, to send comments, or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com – and as with all my episodes – take what helps and leave the rest!! I am not a professional. I’m just a gal who wants to help. xox

Hi peeps, this is a way to make sure you’re keeping yourself functioning at an optimal level – and not getting stuck in a stressed/triggered state or a low/depressed state. It’s basically how to widen your capacity for resiliency via grounding yourself in moments you are getting out of whack. This one is based on a lengthy training I had and it’s meant to be done in person - one-on-one, so hopefully it translates somewhat! If you need more information about this one, please let me know and I’ll post a part 2. For more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This is for anyone who get triggered around a family member or other person in their life, but you have decided that you want to continue to be around this person – despite this trigger. So really – these are management tools for tolerating these interactions. This is from a listener who has to endure some triggers around a family member. When this person is there, they feel drained and irritated – so these are some tools for a similar situation. This is a very difficult (and sadly, common) experience – the gist is how to manage the experience of being around a triggering person if you’re still working on your shit in therapy. As with all my episodes – three parts: What, why and how the tools. If you’d like to see more of my writing or make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Ways to represent your best self in work and in life. Tips for asking for a raise, evolving within your workplace and growing your confidence professionally. This is more geared toward individuals who work within a company versus being your own boss. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo! Here's a good article on things to think about before having a raise/promotion conversation with a boss: https://www.business.com/articles/salary-negotiation-tips-how-to-ask-for-and-get-a-raise/

You might not realize that you are a perfectionist. You might just think you have a high bar and believe in excellence. A lot of perfectionists think that there’s nothing wrong about their high standards. And I would agree with them – unless you are robbing yourself of health, wellness, and happiness. By that I mean – are you unknowingly running yourself into the ground? OR are you possibly robbing yourself of enjoyment and balance in life? Perfectionism is like a helmet you wear through life because it alters your experience of everything: it alters how you feel, how you behave, and what you can appreciate. As with all my episodes – remember I am a regular person. No degrees or expertise. This is just my opinion, so take what helps and leave the rest! To make a donation and to see more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This is a powerup for anyone who is burned out or about to be burned out – currently getting super overwhelmed by their schedule and they’re starting to freak out. A lot of the reason we start to freak out is we get stuck in a state of anticipation: we start to foreshadow negative consequences, imagining how bad something will be – we actively live suffering in our minds. What I want to remind you of is your actual physical moment is quite different. When you are stressed out and overwhelmed in this actual moment – it looks very different. If you want to make a donation or check out more of my work visit YayWithMe.com xo!

This is for anyone who is struggling with attempting to control others and/or obsessing about things in their own life, for example predicting future events and what they can do about them. The best part of this episode is def the tools! So if you're curious and also impatient, skip to part 3 - the tools. This is a request from a listener– it’s somewhat related to the self-sabotage podcast. The listener pointed out that when you are self-sabotaging you are attempting to control what will be – because the anxiety is too great. Once you know this is happening for you, how do you let go of the future and stop trying to control it? It’s a toughy, but I’m going to do my best! The audiobook I mention in this episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2VGMySY For comments, to make a donation or to read more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

This is for anyone out there who is dating and they are struggling with letting go of the people who don’t text you back. It’s also for anyone who is dating someone you think you really like – and because of the rarity of that, you’re freaking the fuck out because you don’t know what to say or do and you don’t want to misstep. So – it’s for the mind-boggling stage of dating where nothing makes sense and there seems to be no structure or logic and you feel like a crazy person with no power. And every decision is decided by the focus group that is your friend group. This one is for Ty (‘s friend). Hope this helps! As with all my podcasts take what helps and leave the rest. xo If you are in this demographic and you’re struggling I recommend reading these two books– (at least) the first 3 chapters of this: https://amzn.to/2E9RtWL And this (but replace pronouns where appropriate): https://amzn.to/2NbzCla If the tone turns you off, I get it! But I would read it/listen to it regardless because it’s a good synthesis of very basic/clear information. To make a donation or to find more of my work, visit YayWithMe.com xox!

Do you feel like you lost all power and autonomy in your new relationship? Are you always wrong, apologizing, groveling? Does it feel like you’re on drugs because of how intoxicating this person is? Do you obsess about them and yet you also kind of loathe dating them? Then you might be in a relationship with a narcissist. This is inspired by a listener and I thought it might be helpful to someone out there. And heads up - this is all information that is widely available out there on the interwebs so if you want to know more, give it a quick google – there are tons of resources. Here are a few books that I like if you want to dive deeper: Book 1: https://amzn.to/2MxkBd3 Book 2: https://amzn.to/2Mz4BqO And a book recommended by a listener (which I haven't read yet, but looks promising): https://amzn.to/2RW4ZFC To make request, see more of my work and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com xo

A reflection process for guiding your life versus your life living you. Happy New Year! I wanted to invite all of you to do a check in with yourself and your life – to see if you are happy, and specifically whether or not you are living it with the right “ratio.” Think of this like a screentime analysis of your life. I want you to grab your journal because we are going to reflect on specifics of what makes you the happiest. There are 3 parts. The first part is a journal reflection with 10 questions. The second part is an assignment to ensure you’re starting 2019 off on the inspired foot. The third part is a strength-building exercise for maintaining your best self. I hope you enjoy! If you’d like to check out more of my work or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Xo!

This is a combo Q&A episode all about how to deal with the pain and courage needed to deal with a breakup. Four people had questions about leaving a relationship and struggling with that decision. The questions are as follows: >> How can especially sensitive people stand by their decision to leave a relationship and resist urges to go back and try harder?  >> What are some healthy ways to deal with intense nostalgia when it strikes and convinces you that you left a perfect relationship? >>Despite knowing this person is not right for me, my brain goes into survival mode and has this insane desperation to continue to reach out and repair. Also is hard to see red flags when you’re in it; hindsight is 20/20 >>Is it possible to stop loving someone when you don’t want to love them anymore? I already consciously decided to leave the relationship I’m currently in but the thought of actually initiating a break up literally sounds like the worst thing ever. The book I think will help that I mention during the episode can be found here: https://amzn.to/2SaZr6f For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to YayWithMe.com xo!