Right Down The Left

I started this episode with the best of intentions - viciously condemning Craigslist and Kijiji as places of ill-repute, where the worst of society go to peddle their wares for inflated prices while acting like idiots in the process. Well, this episode is still about that, with some added crap about the #FreeFortnite battle, my awesome Alienware gaming laptop, and slicing my finger in half while making a dinner fit for 600lb life. But it's mostly about Kijiji, Craigslist, and some decent advice for people buying, selling and both on those platforms.

Pretty heavy handed title, huh? Relax, tiger. There won't be any chest-beating or crazy political statements that are thinly-veiled sexist attacks. In fact, I think there has just been a bit of confusion as to the line between being a healthy, normal man, and being a jerk. In this podcast, we're going to provide you with a few easy to understand examples of what constitues being a real man, and what constitutes toxicity. Among other things. - The struggles of being a 40 year old man with zero motivation and a borderline addition to food, while trying to lose weight during a failing battle against negative metabolism. - Being fat sucks. It isn't something to be proud of or celebrate. Let's all stop that crap, please. - Being attracted to hot young women is perfectly normal, and don't let a single damn person tell you otherwise. - Love yourselves and accept that your strength is vital to your families, your friends, and holds this society together, no matter how much some people scream to the contrary. So spend an hour with me and celebrate all that it means to be a real man. Even if you're a shy, doughy piece of crap like me.

In the grim dark future, there is only war. Sounds super uplifting, huh? Well, if you're a dude who appreciates super soldiers wearing tank-like armour, shooting explosive shells and gutting one another wiuth chain axes, you need to try my new obsession - Warhammer 40K. In this episode, I'll do a garbage-tier job of explaining part of the 40K universe, the books and games that make it exciting, and repeatedly berate you if you aren't currently as enthralled as I am. I even go through the painstaking process of giving you a read/don't read for most of the 50 Horus Heresy books, because my opinion totally matters! More important than that, I'll lay out the case for why this could be a fantastic distraction for you, and is entertaining as hell and well worth your time. 1. If you're an actual Warhammer 40K fan, please don't yell at me. If I got something wrong or missed a detail, it wasn't intentional, so save your rage for when 7-11 runs out of Mountain Dew slushies. 2. If you paint your own models, please send that crap to me. I love the models more than life, but accept the fact that I will never be able to do what you do so I want to admire your work. 3. I love the space marines, but my heart is T'au. Pon-Pon.

I'm an old and broken shell of the man I once was. I remember calling in sick to work so I could spend an entire day and night hammering away at Final Fantasy 10 when it first came out. I've clocked over 1,000 hours on Skyrim across three platforms. Now, I can't even spend 5 minutes playing Civ 6 without complaining about those damn kids and going to bed at 8pm. Something happened to me at some point in life, where all of the joy I used to get from games disappeared and left cold nothingness in its wake. This episode will outline my life's history with games, the struggles I have now to enjoy them, and how games these days just aren't all that great anymore. Maybe it's the rehashing of game engines and styles so several properties play and act so similar that you get bored instantly. Maybe it's video game review sites that are so politically driven that their reviews are useless in assessing interest in a game? Mayne this whole craze of classic arcade games is just stupid and you're wasting your money? If you're in the mood for an hour of 'memberberries, this one's for you. If yoiu know of any awesome games I should really give a try, please let me know - I'm friggin desperate, and my life is in such shambles I need the escapism.

In my intro episode, I promised I wouldn't talk about politics. Much like my proimise to my children to help them learn how to read and love them unconditionally, this promise was made to be broken. Think of this episode as a must-do in order to never cover it again; rip the band-aid off so you guys know where I stand on some key issues while lamenting the fact that we have all come to this point. Note that none of the viewpoints in this episode are controversial or unreasonable, as long as you are a normal and reasonable person: - BLM: Yes, I went there. Yes, there is a problem that is multi-faceted and needs to be addressed. No, defunding police is stupid. - Movies, video games and Representation, oh my!: Remember when games and movies were made to entertain, make money, and that's about it? Remember how there are a ton of women and PoC characters that are beloved to all of us across mediums, and we don't even think about them as women or PoC because their characters were well written? Yeah, me too. - Science in society: We spent decades fighting to keep intelligent design out of biology classes. Things have somehow gotten worse since then. Healthcare, free speech, masculinity, welfare, blah blah blah. I'm not going to lie - this is my weakest podcast so far, and I actually prefer if you skip it. But I think it's important to get all of this out of the way because I'm a pretty reasonable and level headed person. And if you disagree with anything in this episode, let me know. Let's talk. No one talks anymore, which is something else I lament in this episode. Hooray for old man complaining about society! I promise the next episode will be more fun.

All good things start with poor intentions and awful audio quality. The title says it all - an introduction to who I am, what the show is all about, and what you can expect in future episodes. You can thank HuffPo and their garbage articles for my mind breaking in half and pushing me to this stage in my life, so thanks.