Stay Buried

“It started like it was going to be an average day in the town of New York.” The eleven-year-old version of Newt kicks off his whimsical fantasy novel with an insanely controversial beat. The adult version of Newt tries to figure out why he would have done this. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Poor, mixed up Will. He may be book-smart, but he would never compare to my knowledge of the streets.” In this chapter, we are introduced to Rupture's uncharismatic and needlessly violent protagonist, Joseph Morgan. We also meet his one-dimensional friends and get a glimpse at an eleven-year-old moron's idea of high school. Needless to say, it's a bit of a trip. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“But now, his father was too different. He was a fish, basically.” Joe discovers more about his father than he wanted to know and visits a parallel world, where he somehow immediately makes enemies with a harmless creature. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“But Genghis secrets were his own.” Back in the mythical world of Gail, the Dark Lord Genghis attempts to extract information from a familiar face. Additionally, the eleven-year-old version of Newt exploits several more real-world calamities to spice up his prose. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Mr. Zeus's eyes followed Will closely, ready to make a move, as if a panther were suddenly be the one to play Ding-Dong-Ditch.” In this pivotal chapter, the magical world of Gail comes to Earth. Joe and his friends are confronted by a terrifying supernatural threat: hippies. That's not even a bit. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Surprisingly enough, after running about a mile, the scrawny little ‘wimp' could endure sprinting for a while. He was tougher than her looked.” In acts of sheer power, Joe uses his delinquent penchant for violence to protect his friends from the evil forces of witches, hags, and hippies. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Fools. This is the scenario, okay." In this chapter, the evil hag Rone gives the children a deadly fetch quest. Sarah reveals her pacifism in possibly the worst moment to be a pacifist and Joe deals with the death of his father in an interesting way. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“There is no such thing as good. Everyone that says they are good are liars.” Following the destruction of Sílthur, Rone consults with Genghis in his palace. Things escalate quickly as they often do around the Dark Lord, and the hosts of Stay Buried are forced to unpack a number of truly bizarre decisions in the narrative. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.  

"Will smiled again. Just having his friend was miracle." In this cinematic chapter, Joe and his friends come face-to-face with the first Guardian of Gail, a giant and apparently depressed ape. A battle ensues for the first piece of Sílthur. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“I was hoping you wouldn't go brain-dead. I just hoped you would plain die.” The plot thickens to molasses-level-viscosity as we discover more about the universe of Rupture. That's right, folks. It's a lore dump episode. We also meet a character named Clik McDall, for some reason. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask!

“My family, my home, everything. Fire is nothing to love.” A young elf has strange sexual tension with a sentient ball of fire while Rone continues her search for pieces of Sílthur. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Watcher watched the wisp-full winter walk with wakening woes." In this special chapter of Rupture, Joe and his friends confront the second Guardian of Gail, a powerful sentient scarecrow. Then, a truly mind-blowing twist changes everything for the party. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Farmer Gorm Blue, keeper of the Eternal Ice, wielder of the Górll, host of the demonic Ing, I release you of your duties!” Watcher recruits a familiar face to help defeat the Scarecrow, who seems to be vulnerable only to fire-based attacks… because of the straw, we guess? Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“I said go. What, is a piece of brimstone stuck in your ear.” In this chapter, we flashback a couple hours to the possession of Farmer Blue, and Genghis continues his rampage to find the mythical “Crest of Orr.” Also, the book dips into a strange meta-narrative for the first time, implying that eleven-year-old Newt understood postmodernism more than he does now. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Theory logical.” In the town of New York, a middle-aged writer named Bill is accused of fathering and subsequently abandoning a demonic gargoyle child. In other words, the novel expands into even weirder territory. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“We prefer to take form as what Earth would call a penguin.” While searching for the third piece of Sílthur, Joe is forced to reckon with a force more powerful than any he's previously faced: puberty. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“He saw the castle grow in the distance as he got closer and closer until it was no longer in the distance." Joe, Watcher, Jagger, and Sarah come face to face with the third Guardian of Gail: the long-anticipated, shapeshifting penguin known as the Cockerel. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Tell me more about these hags. Are they beautiful creatures, just as I believe they are?” We return to the lackluster life of Bill Tell, who previously denied paternity to the Ing Lord Guam. In this chapter, he attempts to publish his prophetic book Rupture, only to be interrupted by a number of very familiar faces. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“Cookie-maker, sire?” In which the Dark Lord Genghis and his goblin henchman Gordon attempt to open a Rubik's Cube. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Oh my stars." In this epic jumbo-sized chapter, the party faces off against the terrifying King Hut. Joe and Sarah also grow closer by reminiscing about the "good old days," before a dumb kid named Will joined their class. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Cockerel morphed into a buff human." In an Avengers-style team-up, the "ruptured" characters from Gail band together to complete a common goal: kill Bill. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Good job! Now your weaponless and dumb!" A bored and down-on-his luck Genghis decides to entertain himself by destroying numerous families. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Joe's heart skipped a beat as a bird-like man swooped down and talked in an ancient language which sounded oddly like Spanish." An unexpected and traumatizing event forces Sarah to question her beliefs. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“I once took a life I shouldn't have… the man deserved life, but I took it, for I needed to pay ye rent of twenty souls.” In which Watcher is forced to negotiate with a very eager Ghost King in order to save the lives of his mortally wounded friends. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"You humans and your weird names... Canada!" After some brief shenanigans with a new party member, the washed-up, sad sack writer Bill Tell comes face to face with a terrifying and honestly disgusting threat. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Why don't I die?! Why won't I die!?! WHY CAN'T I DIE?!?!?" After an old friend is resurrected, Sarah and Watcher venture towards the mysterious Sea of Souls, where treacherous monsters, manic boat salesmen, and an adorable Kraken wait for them. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"You aren't going to beat a pro with ballet, break dance, Sarah!" In this absolute blast of a chapter, Joe and Sarah face off against the deadly Sphinx, where expectations are both figuratively and literally turned on their head. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Cockerel picked up a sword and started to trace a David's star in the sand of a beach." Ladies and gentlemen, the worst chapter in the book. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"This place, during the Battle of the Sand Dune, was a perfect heck on Earth." The war for planet Earth rages at a military encampment in the Sahara, and a familiar face returns from the dead to save the day. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"There, it is done. You have betrayed your friends for another..." The Ghost King said. Sarah and Joe continue their journey home with the help of their trusty, loyal sidekicks: the ever-dependable golems... whom they love and care about very much and would never do anything to callously jeopardize. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"I now understand everything..." The calm before the storm. Bill, Gage, and Guam talk about the Zeus clan in detail, revealing a shocking twist about the characters at the heart of Rupture. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“I am here. Let us fight.” The epic conclusion of Rupture. Joe comes face to face with the Dark Lord Genghis in a dazzling battle you'll probably forget. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

“This is no friendly meeting, Joseph. I will now be your master, and you will address me as such.” The story of Joseph Morgan and his friends comes to a close in a quintessentially Rupture way: via lore dump. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.

"Here ends Book 1 of the Gail Trilogy. Stay tuned for Book 2: Fracture!" In which an eleven-year-old idiot attempts to conclude a book he had no business writing in the first place. Follow along with the hosts by downloading a PDF of this chapter! Please feel free to send your feedback, fan art, business inquiries, “you saved my life with your podcast” letters, and hate mail to stayburiedpodcast@gmail.com. We look forward to reading every word, especially if it concerns money. Seriously, though, we'll shill anything. We'll promote cigarettes for a fiver; all you have to do is ask! Subscribe to Stay Buried and follow the podcast on Instagram @stayburied for updates and more.