We Will NOT Play DnD

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A scripted audio drama based loosely on real roleplaying games. Updates Fridays!

Dawn Somewhere


    • May 27, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 19m AVG DURATION
    • 160 EPISODES
    • 8 SEASONS

    Ivy Insights

    The We Will NOT Play DnD podcast is an absolute gem in the world of comedy podcasts. From the moment you hit play, you are taken on a wild and hilarious ride that never lets up. The rapid-fire comedy and consistently entertaining banter make for an incredibly enjoyable listening experience. What sets this podcast apart is their ability to lovingly poke fun at TTRPGs (Tabletop Role-Playing Games) while still delivering top-notch storytelling and voice acting.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is the incredible chemistry between the hosts - Paul, Lawry, Elvis, and Mason. Their comedic timing is impeccable, and they play off each other's jokes effortlessly. Paul's energetic and vibrant personality keeps the energy high, while Elvis brings an innocent charm to his characterizations that is simply adorable. Mason's dry wit adds a layer of subtle humor to the mix. However, it is Lawry who steals the show with his dark sense of humor that never fails to entertain. His comedic genius shines through in episodes like "Peanut Murder." The characters they create are memorable and endearing, making it easy to become invested in their adventures.

    While there are countless positives about this podcast, it's important to acknowledge that humor can be subjective. The unique brand of comedy showcased in The We Will NOT Play DnD podcast may not resonate with everyone. Some listeners may find certain jokes or references obscure or miss their mark entirely. However, for those who appreciate witty banter and offbeat humor, this podcast hits all the right notes.

    In conclusion, The We Will NOT Play DnD podcast is a must-listen for any comedy fan or TTRPG enthusiast looking for something fresh and original. With its rapid-fire comedy, great character development, and hilarious storytelling, it provides endless entertainment from start to finish. Whether it's arcs like "Everybody's Neville" or "Cyborg Cops," each episode is filled with incredibly entertaining dialogue and captivating stories. The unique sense of humor displayed by Greg, the podcast's creator, may not be for everyone, but for those who connect with it, they have found someone truly hilarious. Give this podcast a listen - you won't regret it.



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    Latest episodes from We Will NOT Play DnD

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 14

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2025 17:45


    There is a simple rule in any conflict-related role: there is no safe way to apply force. Any act of violence can have unintended consequences, or be made too rashly. Just shoving a person can result in an accident. So what does one do when people have super powers? What's an ethical way to stop a man who can fly? Who can read minds? Who can jump between moving vehicles and take control of them in the process? A wacky world leads to some wacky police hypotheticals.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 13

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2025 16:40


    Interrogation is an unusual art, and it's not something that's easily done in a vacuum. It requires already knowing some answers, being careful not to give away what you do and do not know, and giving the subject enough room to say things you wanted to hear without them knowing what you wanted to hear. And in the case of police work, when there's not a lawyer present, a bit of trickery and flimflam is on the table.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 12

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 17:08


    In many events that deal with the law, self-incrimination can be a leading cause for arrest. For example, it's not rare for someone to discus how much they've had to drink during a sobriety test. And while you don't have to speak to the police or let them in the house if they don't have a warrant, certainly those rules change if you do something flagrantly illegal as a reaction to a knock at your door.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 11

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 16:26


    The real depth of a super power is determined by the creativity and the wit behind it. No superman is all that difficult to overcome if he always does the same predictable things and has no new ideas. Paul and Lawry are certainly men of their own ideas, however, and the two split up to pursue completely separate goals.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 10

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 17:21


    Any kind of breaking-and-entering, even if it's technically legal, is going to be fraught with perils. It's something that requires being in and out with all the sneakiness of the Grinch on Christmas, and when a person gets caught, it takes quick thinking and buttery lies. Super powers also help quite a lot.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 9

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 17:56


    If you can run faster than a speeding bullet, then you can bet society is going to insist that you follow a lot of rules about when and where you can run. Crime-fighting super heroes have to get warrants and talk to lawyers, or else the whole system would be a chaotic mess of autocratic heroes - and look, society has spent a lot of time trying that. It works sometimes, but not always, and when it doesn't work it can really not work!

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 8

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 16:57


    You can't just wait for crime to happen and then go punch it down. If any crime of that caliber happened off, no city would survive. Instead, there's a lot of concern about budget, the amount of work being done, and who's doing it.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 7

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2025 17:37


    Good police work is rarely done from the barrel of a gun - that sort of thing is for emergencies. Ergo, good super hero work follows the same rules. Just because it's possible to use laser vision or throw a car into the sun, that doesn't mean you can really stop crime by doing so. Good super hero work means identifying the crime, gathering evidence, and following the rules. Usually.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 6

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2025 16:38


    Unstoppable Industries moves to officially declare a new head of the superhero field crew, and naturally it's politics from top to bottom. Freeze Frame is the company's favorite, as the other candidates are too new, or have way too many open files with the HR department. Though the company logic is there, one has to wonder if an ego the size of Kimon's can really be okay with it.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2025 16:57


    The team signs on with the government to learn what they can about the weapon which ends all super heroes, and it provides an important lead on who they should be talking to in order to catch Mercury. Meanwhile, one major advantage to reformed villainy is being in contact with current villains, who can keep you in touch with the ongoing developments of the underground.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2025 19:49


    Even with Captain Momentum lost to the world, villainy and crime still happens, and it's up to the Unstoppable Force to intervene. Unfortunately, without a man impervious to bullets and physical harm to back the effort, the whole thing requires a lot of finesse that our heroes may not be quite in the practice of using.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 21:13


    Grieving comes in steps, so they say, but it also takes various forms and elevates certain priorities above others. When the death of a friend occurs at a company, the company kind wind up impacting what sorts of grieving are most acceptable or most prioritized.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2025 15:19


    Every man is mortal, and no man is truly an unstoppable force. Whether by old age, a secret weakness, or the copyright expiring on their public appearance, at some point a hero must die. This is the night that bell tolls for Captain Momentum, and with him follows the death of an entire era.

    Unstoppable Momentum, Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2025 19:41


    Welcome to Unstoppable Industries! Home of the Unstoppable Force, one of the most famed and respected superhero teams in the United States. Headquartered in the proud city of New Jerseydelphia, they just so happen to be looking for a new member, and our very own Elvis has managed to ace the interview process.

    Dungeon Men, Part 35

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2025 28:14


    Our heroes have had things a little too easy for a little too long, and that's in spite of all the hardships! At some point, all of this meddling in things beyond their pay grade was going to bring the chickens home to roost, but in this case, the chickens are dragons. It's time to fight the big men or die standing.

    Dungeon Men, Part 34

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2025 17:35


    There's an old story about a kung fu master who teaches his student 99 techniques, but he keeps the hundredth technique a secret so that he can defeat the student if the student becomes a traitor. There should, however, also be a story in which a master teaches his student only one thing: distrust. The consequences of which don't end as well for the master.

    Dungeon Men, Part 33

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2025 16:47


    When the chips are down and you've been in the dark for too long, sometimes all it takes is a malign, obviously self-interested dragon woman to help guide you towards the light of creating further political instability. All you have to do is walk a little further into that bog of trouble you're already in. One more step and you'll be on the other side! For sure this time!

    Dungeon Men, Part 32

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 20, 2024 20:53


    Though dragons were thought to be largely extinct, it's very hard to prove a negative. How would you go about proving there are no dragons? By not meeting any, obviously, but of course that gets blown out of the water the day you do actually run into one. After that, what do you do? Reclassify it as a species that isn't technically a dragon? Negotiate with it? Ask it stupid questions? As long as it isn't immediately eating everyone, why not try all of the above?

    Dungeon Men, Part 31

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2024 17:06


    Navigation is easiest when you know where you're going and you have a clear idea of where you've been. That's why the woods can be so dangerous if you get lost, because there's not much of a horizon to find landmarks from. Trying to find your way out of a cave network based on a map written by people who weren't completely accurate about where all the caves are or where they go is going to lead to getting lost about a hundred percent of the time.

    Dungeon Men, Part 30

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2024 17:55


    The nicest thing about making an escape through a tunnel network designed to facilitate an escape is that the whole process works pretty effectively! Until, that is, that the royal madam you've been forced to escort gets wise and has a few difficult to answer questions.

    Dungeon Men, Part 28

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2024 17:48


    The pieces for the grand escape are falling into place! More or less. Every key the team needs to get out of there exists, and there's a way to grab it. But with any multi-step plan, all it takes is a single point of failure or one overlooked snag.

    Dungeon Men, Part 27

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2024 16:50


    The heads are mostly accounted for and it's now clear a jail break is the only way to get everyone out with their good health! But now the big question is, how can our heroes do it while still hanging on to said good health?

    Dungeon Men, Part 26

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2024 17:08


    There are two other cat people in the Dark Bottoms, and they've been here for quite a long while. Long enough to be Paul's parents, in fact. But are they? And if they are, then the next big question is how to get them out of there.

    Dungeon Men, Part 25

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2024 16:46


    Paul has a natural proclivity towards following the rules and respecting a heriarchy, so faking it as a guard in a foreign land is easy when they all inexplicably speak and write the same language! However, it turns out that the Darkbottom guards aren't the only ones our heroes need to worry about down here.

    Dungeon Men, Part 24

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2024 17:56


    When impersonating a powerful or succesful person, there's one basic rule to follow: even if you don't know what's going on, always pretend you do. That's and it's important to name drop a bunch of people you've met, to establish that everyone wants to meet you and you've met everyone.

    Dungeon Men, Part 23

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2024 17:19


    It's never a great feeling to get sucker-punched, but when the entire party gets clobbered before they can do anything, the upshot is that nobody ever got to play a single one of their cards, and the enemy has no idea what kind of animal they're trying to keep in a cage. In Lawry's case, it's an animal who's as dangerous and unpredictable as he is annoying.

    Dungeon Men, Part 22

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2024 18:41


    It'd be a big deal if Lawry can simply turn off any magical effect by yelling at it, with far reaching consequences for all of society if Lawry had a mind to truly use the ability. Society would therefore be in a great deal of danger if Lawry's number one priority wasn't to completely disengage with everything it touches forever.

    Dungeon Men, Part 21

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2024 20:14


    The party has become so well noticed by the city's higher-ups, that those higher-ups are beginning to wonder, with some agitation, why they keep hearing about a small group of guys who, prior to just this year, were completely beneath the notice of even the local guard. The unfortunate part about rising very fast and very independently is that you have no way to know what anyone else is thinking about it.

    Dungeon Men, Part 20

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2024 16:07


    With his friends in bad shape, the only one left to get around is Paul, who's got quite a few feelings and concerns about recent developments. A lot of major players throughout the city have also developed some concerning opinions and feelings on Paul as well, and the heat is turning up.

    Dungeon Men, Part 19

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2024 20:33


    The part has dragged one of the city's largest players into the fray! However, a big player doesn't like being called on to make small plays, so the party is forced to bet all their chips all at once on an unsure thing, and the results of that bet will mean their lives.

    Dungeon Men, Part 18

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2024 18:26


    When you're surrounded by mystery and intrigue, the quickest way to cut to the heart of the matter is to walk up to the whatever organization it is that's making the trouble and then deman to speak to the manager. This is basic intelligence knowledge, all the world's best espionage operatives do it.

    Dungeon Men, Part 17

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2024 15:57


    Extracting information from captive colleagues can be a complicated process, but the whole thing gets a lot easier when they aren't paid nearly enough to put up with this kind of trauma.

    Dungeon Men, Part 16

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2024 17:13


    A lawyer is a great way to stay out of trouble with the law, unless that lawyer is hiring you specifically to do crimes. In that case, you should really consider getting a second, less illegal lawyer.

    Dungeon Men, Part 15

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2024 15:08


    Cheri Deckard is a professional, but she's also fundamentally self-employed and lacking in any specific industry standards. It's good thing for the party, however, because a lack of standards is the only plausible way they'll be hired to do anything!

    Dungeon Men, Part 14

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2024 13:58


    There's nothing like a pizza to get someone to admit that they're following in an unsettling and yet legal fashion. And while using a pizza as a weapon is likely a form of battery and is illegal, it's the type of thing the police tend not to want to deal with.

    Dungeon Men, Part 13

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2024 14:34


    Once you've angered the wrong people, sometimes just talking a walk out of the hosue can attract the wrong sorts of attention. Naturally, the one weakness of that is the right sort of attention!

    Dungeon Men, Part 12

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2024 16:03


    Elvis returns home to visit his family, and while they aren't exactly the shining definition of helpful, they do have a certain amount of knowledge about the upper echelongs of society and plenty of opinions about them.

    Dungeon Men, Part 11

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2024 16:40


    There are a few ways out of jail. Sometimes, just doing nothing at all is the fastest way out, provided you can afford a good lawyer to figure it out for you. However, in a society with rules that aren't as well put together, sometimes a few greasy palms in the right places can make a very sudden difference.

    Dungeon Men, Part 10

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2024 14:49


    The trick to any successful plan is to ensure that it has the fewest possible number of steps. Or, failing at that initial step of good planning, to simply have the time to repeat the plan as many times as necessary to get it right. Where it comes to a rumor mill, eventually something will figure itself out. Where it comes to breaking and entering, well, there aren't a lot of chances for a do-over.

    Dungeon Men, Part 9

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2024 15:18


    Rutherford promises everything can be cleared up within a mere twenty-four hours. There may be a lesson here about things that sound to good to be true, but in this case, the lesson might be unfairly harsh to Rutherford.

    Dungeon Men, Part 8

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2024 16:46


    What you want is rarely what you get, especially when it comes to experiments. Unfortunately, this was bound the be the only result Rutherford was liable to get, although there were worse possibilities! There weren't many worse possibilities, but there were some.

    Dungeon Men, Part 7

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2024 15:57


    Not everyone knows about the most important cultural staples of Dungeon City. In particular, Gerald the Dog, a comic character who as it turns out has quite a lot in common with magic and the idea of the city itself.

    Dungeon Men, Part 6

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2024 15:54


    Rutherford has a proposal for the team, but unfortunately he's a bit more familiar with dealmaking than our heroes. To start with, they're already willing to work for free! Or just on promises, which is a flaw a lot of adventurers need to learn to drop early on if they'd like to live for long.

    Dungeon Men, Part 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2024 16:01


    If money attracts anything, it's bureaucracy, and the Adventuring Guild has that in spades. There's rules, regulations, fees, and a wait list to get in to the dungeon. And as these systems always exist, there are always temptations to work outside them to save time and money.

    Dungeon Men, Part 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2024 17:28


    There's nothing quite like a religious organization to get you questioning everything you know about life. Or is that not how it's supposed to work? In Paul's case, it's a source of stability and existential furstration.

    Dungeon Men, Part 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2024 16:46


    Dungeons are thought by some to be a very controlled experience where small, discreet units of bad guys assemble to be slaughtered wholesale. But in the event you ever found yourself in a dungeon where every creature in it decided to kill you, without waiting for you to arrive in their isolated room, you'd be better off staying at home.

    Dungeon Men, Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2024 19:11


    Lawry resovles to take Elvis into a dungeon, but the whole process is ridden with bureaucracy and red tape. That means the only way is to go in unofficially, and to get a black market sample of the experience.

    Dungeon Men, Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2024 17:54


    Dungeon City is a place where you barely scrape by if you're willing to go underground and bonk skeletons with a hammer. More of them will appear later, and they carry iron weapons, which can be sold as scrap. What this life attracts most are people who believe they're going to rise above the odds and be more than a skeleton scraper, and this is the story of some of those people!

    Chosen Ones, Part 21

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 21:37


    It's the final showdown! But what needs to happen? Who lives, who dies? Some questions are a bit too big for simple men, and when it comes to issues of infinity and the great void, there are no clear answers.

    Chosen Ones, Part 20

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2024 15:20


    The most threatening stories involve a little bit of ambiguity. When something can be anything, there's the possibility it's the worst possible thing. On the other hand, it might be the best possible thing. You wouldn't know until it's too late!

    Chosen Ones, Part 19

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2024 16:18


    With the bait set and trap laid, all our team has to do is return home! It's as as simple as that, and everything would work itself out once Bingle chases behind. Or it would be, but the Dark Nation has been through some changes while our heroes were away.

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