An actual play 5th edition of Dungeons and dragons youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
how close is he to the gobbler?what if he has a bad fart? is the intent to do damage?YOU GOT A WISH ON WISH? AND WHAT BARDIC INSPIRATION ON TEMU!??!and all through the the house not a creature was stirring, except your dumb assare we giving luc,k to a god?....why not? wish the god luck....i dont want to wander around gods nipple
the magic school looms as the DM introduces a slew of players with magical talents and latent abilities, follow this arc and email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com don't forget to find us on YouTube!
im gonna call out their names while i eat them we're taking everything the table? were taking everything with us we just ate human meat, fresh from the human....i think i wonder if i can freeze hell by stealing all the lava . DM "NO!?!?" you must fight the gazebo alone.... and more! email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and find us on YouTube.
The game begins with ''its time to club some baby seals! , oh wait, "its baby seal clubbing time" that's the exact quote'' and when regular tactics wont work... "IM GOING TO FEED IT TACO BELL, ....does the monster have a butthole? NOT ANYMORE!...alas, worse to come when The devourer of Divinity is on the dead Gods crotch the players remind you of his name being "you mean tentacles McGee?" and in a way only The Cadet can pull of he Rolled a 5 to remember the name (Luxara) with a "i rolled a 5 to remember the woman's name who i knocked up." which brought us all the way around to "Pregnant Princess Ladybird (aka Wilford Brimley?)" and email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and find us on youtube!
As the game starts a Djinn makes an offer and soon after hears "i want a rain cheque" and the DM gives them exactly what they ask for "okay, a cheque made of rain appears in you hand", soon when getting lost they remember "ah, yes, the four directions, left, right forward and back!" but as all things go they eventually have to....wait... roll for bitchslap? thats what kind of "SHITUATION" these folks get into, but then again, when asked ' "whats going on?" i run over and say in her ear "i have no fucking clue" ' becomes cannon and then....hugging....yes....hugging "im not going to force a hug onto anybody....i go in for a bro hug" the BBEG looms as someone shouts "i was fighting before i was born, was throwing hands in the womb!" and the battle begins with "we're gonna tag team this guy, put the porn music back on!".... email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and find us on youtube!
After an exhausted DM hears the Karens begin with "while they're arguing, lets head to this mall" and more Karens show up to....of all things demand "show me your papers!!" While Corn Dog Crypto Caren replies with "i have a stick" Kevin has his clothing choices questioned and the best reply us always "MY CLOTHES ARE MEANT TO BE VISIBLE, VISIBLE ISNT UGLY". then of course confusion sets in with "ARE YOU SAYINGS GOATS OR GHOSTS, THERES A DIFFERENCE, GOATS DONT FLOAT" and finally an insult to the DM ast they tell him "Your walkways are not corndog accessible" email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and fund us on YouTube! IS THAT A CORNDOG IN YOUR BACKPACK OR ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME?!?! its my zombie and he respects his elders Dm "did you just demand to speak to deaths manager!?!?" "....yes" i want toy surkeys, i mean soy turkeys you gonna investigate that ass? to the dm "ill roll because i want to, not because you asked me to" yuo dont ask how a corndog carries things....my grandma used to say that
when the first things you hear in a game is " i do kind of want to see what will happen when it rips us apart" the DM gets worried, but when Jonathan lubes up in the kitchen... things get worse. "a nostril full of femur!...i dont think a bone is supposed to go in that hole....not that bone....get creative" "nostril full of femur is my favourite post rock band" "your fungus is not to be truffled with" "hes got like 15 3s or something" "gonna light your flesh cigar " "whats your preffered brand of flesh cigar? " "meat stick, uncut!" the devil puts a slave to play in his place "FUCK IT WE'LL BLIND HER TOO!"
when the game starts with a "restraining order throw!" you know it's goign to get interesting, hit then again, to 'send a message to you at the speed of bickle' later on sounds wrong the players all get together and agree 'So do we all have the spell "Cause Aneurysm"?' then again; even when dealing with enemies they shout "SPINOTHY, NOOOO!!!" And make comments such as "vanilla ice is just ice cream without milk" and "im off to get the macaroni" so follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice then follow us on YouTube at the Real Fresh Channel!
When the game begins with "i am going to go get more hands for that ass!!" And then roll for ethics!?!? "now that we got meat, lets go save that baby. Better than saying "now that we got our baby, lets go save that meat" "then he calls me daddy master, not dungeon master....wait....no, dungeon mommy?" Then asking to ROLL FOR KINK! and what finally broke the DM was when "i want to grab a bag and pick up the cursed object like a dog turd....we can use that later" but of course when referring to others "I think his name is Idiot" and "i dont communicate through my piss" then again, shouting "hey pisspants!?!?" Happens just the same. Follow along on YouTube with the Real Fresh Channel. Email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
"be careful with that" "I AM THE MOST CAREFUL ONE HERE!!!" its a fortune cookie off!!! are you asking for a pussy snorkel!?!? whats the save? not 27 thats for damn sure now we got this eldritch blast comin at the frog "fuck you and the frog you rode in on", "imma get that tattooed on my ass" "before i leave the room i need to go up to each of them and insult them" threw a box of crayons at the bbeg and other nonsense, find us on YouTube at The Real Fresh Channel and email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
when "he doesn't deserve the fun chamber!" and "thats his emotional support sandwich" and then 'why dont we throw the bird at the door?" makes the DM say "napoleon?, In this world hes only an icecream" then "go ahead and hold a super soaker of holy water im ready to do this" as the players take the DM and the imagination on a wild ride to save Xmas. follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice.
The game starts by introductions like "you're a high elf so you have to get up high?" and "Rupert's ready for that kind of naughty, get me on that list!" then the game really gets going when the Dm points out The poo bucket" player "that's also the food bucket" DM IT IS NOW *writes down furiously" people say things like "i don't know why he wants to be referred to by a bunch of holes, but okay" and "do you know how hard it is as an orphan to get your hands on good literature!?!? The DMs brain breaks when someone says "a 'mastochist' is someone who chews.... and does inappropriate things to ships" and finally around the end people realize "but what about feet!?!? they're for the ground!!!" and lastly awkwardness when a group hug turns into a group no after a group kiss? follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice then follow us on Youtube at The Real Fresh Channel!
You Wanna Do WHAT!?!? finishes off it's year with piracy "I have a boat and it's in me!"....wait... WHAT!?!?, AAs the Dm gives the last quest of the year the players say "nah, we're going to take over the world instead!" and bribe each other saying "I will give you EVERYTHING..." only to hear " even a stepladder?" and a restrained ".....yes...." bringing us to The Grand Pimp!, "you think I knew anything about the ocean in Gnome town!?!?" "I can throw two boats a turn!, now I can dual wield boats!" replied only by "that's a unique skill.....imma call you Two Boats Jackson" and ending with trying to bet your God in a poker game.... email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and don't forget to find us on The Real Fresh Channel on YouTube!
the party shops and struggles and as the old saying goes "never split the party" even if there's a new member.....WAIT....WHAT!?!? Find us on YouTube at The Real Fresh Channel!
High stakes gambling and shopping, who wins and who loses? over 100,000 gold in the pot and too many eyes to cheat....but of course they found a way. follow along and email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and find us on YouTube at The Real Fresh Channel!
Guests and Mogg "I TURN INTO A DRAGON" Scarlett "....FINALLY". When guests polymorph and say "im an expert on polar bears, now being a polar a polar bear....", then "You see Mogg the Celloist...dragon edition"*tm (not really, lol) "i guess we're going thru the bucket hole today!" AS THE *DM HAS ANOTHER MELTDOWN* "DM you keep forgetting, we're very religious" "i cast ice breath on him, what happens..." DM "....death!?!?"...."imma use spare the dying so we can do it again." and lastly "showering my trolls in fire spunk" as the DM bangs his head on the table. Then check out Roll for Dopamine and Chaotic Chronicles for more amazing dnd-ing. email youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com anytime or find us on the Real Fresh Channel on YouTube!
Pirates and grog, diving and pearls, eating lots of fish and getting lost, Mr Blight is too busy looking at his own reflection and eating Kraken Sushi to bother with the actual work and someone steals a skeletons pants. no, I'm not kidding. email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and find us on the Real fresh channel on youtube!
when the party gets in to a deep freeze with their shame hanging in the breeze Mogg and The Cadet shine like diamonds in the cold. follow us on spotify and ainstagram, Facebook and fin us at the Real Fresh Channel on YouTube
"stop making sense and they dont poop!!", Scarlett "THEYRE BOOMERANG DANG- ERSIJ!, DM - ROLL FOR GROIN. They are so scared they are just shitting "its okay, i speak bird", ah yes, the 'ole charmy-hurty, I roll for random genetic mutation! DM "did you just make a gelatinous ooze cannon!?!?" Mogg "yes"
When the DM hears a grown Mogg say "im a strong boy mommy" things get weird, "hes going to town and by town i mean their face", "this is the kind of people you hire, ones who throw piss on your friends?', and "i cast dollar tree fireball!", "is that a gimp suit of armour?" *DM has an aneurism* , and "typically they're ready to kill....whores?....yeah......" DM GOES !?!?, and more, so check us out on YouTube at The Real Fresh Channel.
"HOW CAN YOU FART IN RESPECT!?!?" "ROLL FOR HEALING DAMAGE"-DM .....troll makeouts...... he is going to attack by picking your nose," "i think i was gonna go for some below the loincloth action" " imma put saddlebags on my spider" and more hilarious things, email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and check out The Real Fresh Channel on YouTube! "you can make more web, i can make more piss"
"everything invisible in the room is now well lit" "so im going to tie a string to my cigar to test for magic" *throws cigar* bard " i once jizzed on a rock and another smaller rock came out" just because they dont have the jewels doesnt mean you cant explore the cave
you're coming here to steal my rum, you can at least tell me your name don't counter spell my long rest ITS A LUSTY FISH! its the biggest bonk stick I've got! ARE WE JUST MAKING A SEA TURDUCKEN!?!? AN OCTO-SHARK-FOLK!!!! email us at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
The DMs birthday meets SPACE as the players channel the spirits of Oz9 by..... that'd be telling, here's some quotes out of context and email us anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com i didn't cast stab! so, you're going to poison the dead mushroom alien? i will shape some water into its butt-mouth "who else wants to speak butt!?!?"
Drinking trash juice and exploring caves, getting stuck and blessings counted, follow along and don't forget to listen to Oz9 and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice! find us on the Real Fresh Channel on YouTube!
Dark deals and darker streets meet the party as they arm themselves with new items, A foreboding boom in the distance asks more questions than it answers. don't forget to go to www.oz-9.com and get some more laughs. then check out Primus Sharp Edge Dice and find us on YouTube at The Real Fresh Channel!
i do jazz hands and make the poop go away, i wanna dance over the dead rats!, "best case scenario, i die." "i cast osteoporosis!" "the high ranking cultist has a nice ass" and other nonsense from the amazing folks at www.oz-9.com and on Spotify!
Mogg prays and The Cadet bees....yes...bees....Bickle Jr gets in shit and Mad Maven wants nothing to do with his recuperation. the city of Oneidbur looms as the church of Torm welcomes everyone.
I WANT A HOT PINK BAG OF HOLDING! and more things that make the DM sad. get a free gaming mousepad by emailing youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com and don't forget the Primus Sharp Edge Dice
150th episode madness as KOBOLDS!!!! make a mess of everything. win a free gaming mousepad now by emailing youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com don't forget the Primus Sharp Edge Dice and next week Oz9 joins us for a fun one shot!
The Cadet finds a Raven Beauty while Mogg and Bramble place bets on lies, coins flow and Bickle Jr jumps into tentacles without thinking, more as after the party turns a banshee into a pangolin. get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and check out Oz9, GAMMA RADIO and Dichotomy Games. don't forget to get a free gaming mousepad just for emailing us your favorite character at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
"I'm going to invisible mop the wall" The ape said "dibs" in sign language DM " YOU CANNOT MAKE A GERBIL CANNON" Players "not yet, we don't have the gerbil" *in baby voice* eat my face off I don't care, I love you (To a Dinosaur) I cannot make a better description than this, go listen to Oz9 and get a free gaming mousepad (shipping on us) by emailing youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com with your favorite character.
Horseshoes for Gnomes and bowling for unicorns best describes the chaos of this pyramids adventure, get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along. don't forget to email us with your favorite DND character and a small why to win a free YWDW gaming mousepad. youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
FLAMING DWARF ANUSES, yes, you read that right. No, I'm not going to explain. You'll have to listen to the finale of these Pirates and those Scissors. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice while you're at it.
More piracy and more madness involving chocolate teapots and Dwarven arrogance, gey some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and check out Zed1 for their new baby.
A new season of DND starts with piracy and a pair or scissors that can cut the fabric of reality itself, something from the celestial forge at the dawn of time has fallen into the mortal realm, what it will cut next? Who knows. Follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice, then go to the Zed1 podcast for their You Wanna Name What!?!? Their baby. YES. NAME THEIR BABY, Then go to Youtube and find us on the Real Fresh Channel
After clearing a small town of goblins and then trekking back to Hallcross Pub, Bramble refuses to join until her vacation is officially over and the party buys a bottle that makes the Cadet blush, the following adventure gets sand everywhere as the party explores a pryamid opening. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along, then check out Gamma Radio and the Zed1 podcast for their new seasons.
Stupid sexy MOGGLIN, I mean, ahem, goblins are pushed back in more ways than one, The Cadet makes an unlikely ally into something more. MOGG swipes a potion away like a cat with anytime on a table. Primus Sharp Edge Dice makes for fun times while Gamma Radio and Zed1 have new season shenanigans. Follow along at the Real Fresh Channel on YouTube
GERBLINS, UH, I mean *ahem* Goblins. Lots of them, a town full of unique goblins from FLEE MORTALS and the Otherworldy XORRANOX appear to take over the town and ease its burdensome valuables. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along at Real Fresh Channel on YouTube and then go check out the Zed1 podcast for their NAME THE FICTIONAL BABY CONTEST. WAIT, WHAT!?!?
The party has a change up as a young Firlbog joins and Flambé takes time off to prepare for fatherhood with the father he never met....standards so low the bar is just on the floor. Follow along with Primus Sharp Edge Dice!
The SLUTTERY continues with two people obsessed with themselves trying to out bitch each other. New Primus Sharp Edge Dice go rolling the party in interesting ways.
The sluts slut their way sluttily in the Pickapig Tavern and something is burning, many trips to the bathroom later a lot of robbing goes on. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along. Email anytime at youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com
Sluts! Part 2! MORE SLUTTERY, . The party enters the only grubby tavern they find after trying to deceive a local theif, who out villains who is a new concept the DM loves and hates. Follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice
Slutty pirates steal everything not nailed down and take on a dangerous quest to keep sexy energy alive, a Noble Lordling takes it all for unknown reasons. Follow along and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice!
The inn is set to be plundered by someone with much to keep hidden. The players tempt the DM until he throws a curveball everyone sees coming. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along, email youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com anytime, and check out Homie and the Dude with their amazing Ghibli inspired dnd content!
The DMs favorite episode finds your ears with magical tricks and unexpected changes, Flambé earns someone's respect the hard way and they wanna clap some MOGG cheeks. Zappo from Space Busker 2061 joins again and brings his unique style to our game. Get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along, then find us on the REAL FRESH CHANNEL on YouTube.
CAVES!, AND THINGS IN CAVES. the party chills their enemies and snatches valuables while being hunted by PECH, find out what happens, and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice, email youwannadowhatpodcast@gmail.com anytime to talk to the DM or players.
The party finds tunnels and treasure, Bickle Jr. turns into a bat, and Mogg watches as Flambé burns poo. Check out the Wandering Tavern in our intro for amazing Ghibli inspired DND excellence.
A tavern has always been a place to meet and greet, this one seems to have a few secrets of its own, find out what the Art-ifact has in store for you, get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice and follow along!
With a guest and a new town to explore, the party finds more than they expected from the city and the Pub, follow along with your Primus Sharp Edge Dice loving fools!
Death of a character is never easy. Find out who shuffles off their mortal coil and get some Primus Sharp Edge Dice.