Art of Why

What is your relationship to failure? How do you respond to challenges? Recall a time when you caught an L. How did it affect you and what did you learn? Personally, I remember having less than $3 left in my bank account on the verge of bankruptcy and feeling below the dirt rock bottom. Looking back, it gave me so much opportunity to learn and grow. I wouldn’t wish those times on anybody, but the comeback from that? The ability to turn a loss into a learning experience? I hope everyone feels that at least a couple times in their lives. What a feeling.

If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do? ‘Memento Mori’ in Latin is a reminder that we will die. In his Meditations—essentially his own private journal, Marcus Aurelius wrote that “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Knowing that this is true, live every day as if it were your last. That means be kind to the people you come across, love as much as possible, give your best to anything you do today. Try this for 24 hours and watch your life change.

5 years ago, I literally had $3 left in my bank account, my credit score was ruined, my first business failed, I was on the verge of bankruptcy, and started going through a major spell of depression. Today, we closed escrow on a perfect little home for our growing family. After years of saving, knocking down debt, viewing 100+ homes, 1000+ hours on MLS, 5 bidding battles, 6 long months, and 2 escrows - we are officially HOMEOWNERS! I know that all we see are highlights and flexing on the gram, but I just wanted to share this for anybody that needed to see or hear that times can get tough for anyone at anytime. Life will humble that ass and you’ll have to unlearn certain things like I did when it came to money and business. Sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom and all you’re left with is yourself. You grow through what you go through. Self growth and your mindset is what changes everything. ‘Thoughts Become Things’ and you can attract all of the good and the bad that you want in your life. So you might as well choose the good, be abundant, and align with everything you desire. Providing for my family has given me so much purpose, gratitude, and motivation. I’m far from the finish line but I’m happy with my pace on this marathon. Shout to Quy and Ung Real Estate for being patient with us and getting us in the home that just felt right when we first stepped foot into the property, understanding that location was most important in our search, and that family is priority when making this investment. I’m glad we’re still doing business after all these years and look to do more in the future!

“The journey of life is less about finding and more about aligning.” — Jay Shetty Finding Purpose and Passion We’re currently out of alignment that’s why we feel disconnected, distant from ourselves, out of sync of lacking harmony. How many times have you felt disconnected or distant from yourself? Not understanding who you are or what you’re doing? Not feeling right energy, or momentum? Misalignment creates distance from who you are and the people you love. When you feel like you have to find our chase something, you’re searching for something outside of yourself. When we choose to align, we are searching inside of ourselves. Deep closeness with the self allows us to be the most authentic, powerful SELF. Self confidence. If you don’t know yourself how can you be self confident? How can you have self worth? How can you have high self esteem? Purpose and passion is less about finding, more about aligning. How many times have you lost your wallet/purse, phone, or keys just to find that they were already with you all along?

Money Audit Do you manage your money well? Is there room for improvement? We all have money habits, good or bad. We all have a relationship with money. What we feel about money, what we think about money builds our relationship with money. If our belief is “I don’t have enough.” or “I’m always struggling with money.” That becomes our relationship with money.

“Average people become average people because of average behavior.” — Trevor Moawad Be. Do. Have. A top magazine entrepreneur gave a speech at ToastMasters. He was a High school fuck up, struggling to pass, and was about to get kicked out. If you can do it wrong, that’s exactly what he was doing. In the 1980’s there was a test called the SAT, with math and verbal accumulating to 800 points each. He promised his mom he would take the test and expects nothing – but does it for his mom. He takes the test in May, gets the results in June. He scored a whopping 1480 out of 1600! His Mom asked, “Did you cheat? You must have cheated.” This was not in alignment who he was. He said he tried to cheat, but the spacing of chairs were too far, number 2 pencil too small to see the markings. He couldn’t cheat. “All I know is I took the test.” From then on, he was weaponized to be smart. He goes to class and doesn’t hang out with the same people. Teacher’s see the difference. He goes to a 4 year college, then goes on to an Ivy League school. Becomes one of the most successful magazine entrepreneurs in the world. The story could be that Had gifts, but he never unlocked them until the SAT… …12 years later, he received a letter from Princeton in New Jersey. Doesn’t think much about it, but one day he opens it. The SAT board periodically reviews their test taking procedures and policies. He was 1/13 people sent the wrong SAT score. His actual score was 740/1600. “People want to say it’s the 1480 that changed my life, but acting like a 1480 changed my life. And what does a 1480 do? They go to class.”

Japan had been a wish destination for me since 2012 when I had an opportunity to work on a deal to franchise a store in Tokyo. Ever since then, I was always intrigued of the idea of visiting and experiencing the culture. I also placed a picture in my vision board earlier this year and glad it manifested itself sooner than later. Besides the amazing food and beautiful scenery, I’m always able to take a few lessons with me as I travel. Here are a few things that Tokyo Taught Me.

On March 31, 2019, Ermias Ashgedom aka Nipsey Hussle was gunned down in front of the same store he started his career selling cds out of his trunk. He more recently was part owner of the actual building itself and inspired growth and evolution from the bottom of streets to the top of the charts. Los Angeles lost one of its Kings and the culture was flooded with sadness on this tragic day.

If it’s truly a fear that is blocking my blessings, here’s how I would get over it: Definition There is definitely a feeling of unease when meeting a celebrity or idol. Some people just demand that presence and have mastered it as an art. If Will Smith had walked into the room, I’m sure everyone’s jaws would drop. Knowing that it does cause a sense of awkwardness, I will be proactive in human interaction. I will treat every single person that I meet as a normal human being that has the same 24 hours a day as me and everyone else. From the janitor, to the child, to the elderly, to the famous – everyone will get the same level of respect from me. Doing this will tone down the level of anxiety when I actually do meet my idols, because I will better understand that we are all created equal and no one is better than anyone else. One day, someone will want to meet me, and will find out I’m as flawed as the rest of them. Prevention I will live my elevator pitch. I know exactly who I am and the intentions that I have in this world. If someone can’t relate to who I really am and my authentic self, then I shouldn’t even be around these types of people. With one of my affirmations focused on surroundings, this also means subtracting negativity or low empathetic crowds. By continuing to be the best, true version of my self on a daily basis, I’ll be able to relate to my idols as I’ve taken a little piece of each of their playbooks. Repair Practice makes perfect. If I bumped into Kendrick Lamar tomorrow, I can’t lie, I would feel some type of way. But I also know that I wouldn’t treat him with a different amount of respect then I would a no-namer. I’m going to put myself out there and meet the right people. Some will get what I’m about, some won’t. As long as I can continue to practice understanding and learn more about people in general, I will know how to engage in a meaningful conversation with a superstar. When I meet Jay-Z, I will tell him how he inspired me through his music but much more through his actions. How he created his own label and pioneered ownership and business and rap culture motivates me to this day. When I meet Kobe Bryant, again, I’ll confidently tell him how much of a joy it was to watch his 20 years of artistry and how I see the elements of his game and how they translate into his new ventures in media. When I meet Elon Musk, I will thank him for his innovation. Most people think he’s cool because he has a lot of businesses, but I truly understand his goals to change the world. PayPal changed financial transactions, Tesla changed the electric automotive industry, and SpaceX changed even NASA’s view of outer space. I will tell Gary Vee how much I’ve learned about emotional intelligence and empathy through his media channels. When I meet Will Smith, I’ll let him know how his story of near bankruptcy forcing him to start in “The Fresh Prince”, inspired me to never give up. I’ll tell Kendrick how much his music got me through very dark places in my life and how we really hear and feel what he’s saying about the streets. And when they meet me, they’ll never know I ever had a “fear” of meeting them in the first place.

I’m a big fan of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, 7 Equities or Wheel of Life from Zig Ziglar, and more recently the 7P’s I heard from Mike Diamond on Project Mindset. Here are 7 P’s that can be used as a foundational base to achieving more in life: Purpose, Planning, Priorities, People, Places, Perseverance and Patience.

Just recently, in a conversation with one of my best friends Marv, we decided to label ourselves present and future. I've finally created an elevator pitch that can evolve as I grow. A personal elevator conversation can lead to strong connections, expose what you're looking for, plans for the future, or stand out. They should be kept under 30 seconds, relevant and be spoken with confidence without sounding arrogant. You can start general and then get into any specifics. Be authentic to who you are. Focus on the problems you would like to solve and if you have numbers, share them. End with what you're looking for. Here’s my elevator pitch. What’s yours?