Astrology Sucks

We have a very special, brilliant guest on this week to continue our talks about this upcoming election and the astrology behind it. Astrologer, author, podcast host, and general light Aliza Kelly talks to us more about Biden and Harris's charts, and we get into some pretty interesting debates about the future. Enjoy this episode, and everyone stay rested during this Mars Retrograde! Aliza Kelly: @alizakelly // http://alizakelly.com Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Shannon: @astrologychef Six: @BlackWomenCry

Hey E-Cult! It's the last round of the sign roast episodes and we finish strong with Virgo SZN and our special guest, Virgo astrologer Max Hiigli! We talk all things Virgo and Virgo season, and go off in long form in true Mercury fashion. We also can't have this episode without roasting the Virgo Pluto generation...aka our parents! We hope you enjoy this supercharged episode and have a safe and healthy Virgo season! Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Max: @maxhiigli // maxhiigliastrology.com Six: @Blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologychef

Here we go, E-Cult, the moment we've been waiting for since early primaries and our first Political Astrology episode, we finally have an official Democratic Presidential and Vice Presidential Candidate in Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. We discuss the candidates' charts, politics at large, voting, and make predictions based on what might be coming up in the election cycle with astrology in mind. Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @blackwomencry Shannon @astrologychef

Hey E-Cult! This episode we take a look at the transits August contains such as Mercury in Leo, Venus in Cancer, Mars in Aries, and of course the outer planets still pummeling through Capricorn. We find some reasons to laugh, talk a lot about cuddling, and of course wonder how the revolution will truly begin. Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologysuckspod

It is time for the lion to take over! This Leo SZN we brought on the amazing Pao of @paostrology! We get all the best Leo intel from the Leo stellium queen herself, talk reality TV and shoot the fire sign shit. It's a fire sign party this episode! Hope you enjoy your Leo SZN and stay safe out there E-Cult! Pao: @paostrology; paostrology.com Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologychef

We have finally decided to address the "13th sign" aka Ophiuchus, and oh man do Six and Shannon have a lot of opinions! We discuss its origins, why it is constantly brought up, and Shannon has a mild identity crisis wondering if she truly is Ophiuchus. Or is that the edible talking? Enjoy this goofy episode and stay safe, E-Cult! Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @BlackWomenCry Shannon: @astrologychef

Hey all you cool crabs and crustaceans, it's Cancer season and we are celebrating in style with one of our favorite crabs, Cancer stellium angel astrologer Amber Jay! We talk all things Cancer and go very in depth as any water sign should. We talk Girl Scouts, nostalgia, time travel, and care and really are blessed by Amber's knowledge. Between the three of us, we cover personal Cancer placements from the Sun all the way to Mars! We give every Cancer placement their due time. Enjoy this episode and the rest of Cancer season! Love ya, E-Cult! Amber: @ambercjay Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @BlackWomenCry Shannon: @astrologychef

Happy Pride E-Cult! Oh, wait, what? It's July? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you over us keeping the Pride spirit going with none other than Colin Bedell aka @QueerCosmos!! Colin is the Gemini darling completing our Gemini/Sagittarius polarity, and this episode is the MOST fun! We talk traditional vs. modern astrology, BDE, and go through all the signs at their most queer. We're taking over 4th of July weekend and ready for y'all to join us. Be sure to follow Colin and buy his many books out in bookstores near you! Colin: @queercosmos Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Twitter: @SucksAstrology Six: @BlackWomenCry Shannon: @astrologychef

E-Cult, Mercury retrograde has truly been getting the best of us, messing up our recording schedule over and over, so we bring you a Mercury retrograde inspired episode of unpacking a lot of Cancer Mercury retrograde themes. Enjoy the high thoughts of two Sagittarius's with prominent Cancer placements, and get excited for the upcoming episodes that Mercury is making us push back! Love ya! Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Twitter: @SucksAstrology Six: @BlackWomenCry Shannon: @astrologychef

Mercury retrograde is back, E-Cult! This time it's in the sign of Cancer, so time to reflect on all things family, feelings, and heritage. Not only that, this retrograde is paired with outer planet retrogrades AND Venus retrograde, so buckle up and prepare for the summer of retrogrades. Six and Shannon also go off on many a Mercury-fueled tangent, and also discuss Mercury retrograde through the houses, and get pretty real during high thoughts. Enjoy it, E-Cult, stay safe! Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologychef

On this episode, Six and Shannon have on their friend Adama Sesay aka @lilithastrology to discuss the ties between Black womanhood and Lilith, both in terms of the myth and the astrological significance. We discuss the #SayHerName movement, and how Black women have been negatively stereotyped. We also go on a tangent about the signs of SpongeBob characters at one point because we deserve some brevity! Love you, E-Cult, protest safely and follow us at our socials below! Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Adama: @lilithastrology on Instagram, YouTube and Facebook; www.lilithastrology.com Six: @blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologychef

CW: Discussions of racial trauma, death, and random firework noises It's been a long, dark week in America. Six and Shannon discuss race, our backgrounds and Southern upbringing, and discuss some transits and their influence over the current events, including the Sagittarius lunar eclipse. Most importantly, we discuss the #BlackLivesMatter movement and our support for it. We appreciate you listening, stay safe out while protesting, donate to your local bail funds and justice coalitions, and don't forget to allow some time to take a break and time for yourself. Love you, E-Cult. Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Twitter: @SucksAstrology Six: @BlackWomenCry Shannon: @astrologychef

E-CULT! Six and Shannon have been waiting for Gemini season and are THRILLED to have one none other than Gemini internet royalty Courtney Perkins aka @notallgeminis on to talk all things twins! We get into all things Gemini in this Mercury-backed episode, and have a blast in the process. Get ready for the twins to be redeemed against their internet hate. We love Geminis on Astrology Sucks! If you don't follow Courtney yet, hit her up @notallgeminis across platforms, and check out her website notallgeminis.com to buy her awesome sign-based merchandise! Twitter: @SucksAstrology Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Six: @blackwomencry Shannon: @astrologychef DM us questions, #highthots, or just to say hi! Love ya, E-Cult!

Hey E-Cult! Another long and exciting episode awaits all about the badass demon queen, Lilith! Six and Shannon bring on a special guest to school them, the favorite Aquarius, Tess aka @astrogrlz! They give us the real deal low down on the Lilith myth, we go through Lilith through the signs AND houses, and make a whole lot of jokes only two Sagittarius's and an Aquarius can make! Enjoy this episode, stay safe, and follow Six @blackwomencry, Shannon @astrologychef, Tess @astrogrIz on Twitter or @astro.grlz on Instagram, and @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology on Twitter. Love ya, E-Cult!

Buckle up, E-cult, it's retrograde season! This summer kicks off a bunch of outer and inner planet retrogrades, so Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get into it with lots of talk on Venus retrograde, but we also touch on Mars' transit into Pisces and Mercury moving into their home sign of Gemini! Enjoy this late-night recorded episode and follow us on Twitter @SucksAstrology and Instagram (@astrologysuckspod). Stay safe!

Hey E-Cult! This episode is brought to you by the mush quarantine brains of Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef), and we talk all kinds of random topics such as how The Simpsons creator is possibly a time traveling alien, Saturn return predictions, and why we seem to always attract small animals when we're together. It's a free flow episode with lots of entertaining insight, hope you enjoy and follow us @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology on Twitter! Stay safe, E-Cult!

Bull horns up E-Cult because it's Taurus season! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) have on the amazing Taurus traditional astrologer and tarot queen Mo aka @austral_taur on to talk all things the Bull! We dive into Taurus through the signs, talk about Taurus vs. Libra Venus energy, and even get into discussions on traditional vs. modern astrology! We have a blast with our diet Sag Mo and hope you enjoy! Follow Mo and also don't forget to check us out on Instagram @astrologysuckspod for Insta Lives and Twitter @SucksAstrology! Love ya, E-Cult!

Hey E-Cult! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) are still holed up at home so might as well get into some coloring books and talk about some of the coolest coloring books around....the Cosmic Coloring Books curated by our friend Mecca Woods! We talk the inspiration behind the coloring books, her favorite designs, and general self care with Mecca, along with shooting the Sagittarius sh*t about all kinds of astrological topics. We hope you enjoy this episode and practice self care, stay safe and healthy throughout the remainder of this lockdown. Don't forget to give Mecca a follow on Instagram @1meccanism and Twitter @TheMeccanism, as well as visit her website mylifecreated.com to purchase coloring books, readings and more! And follow @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology on Twitter! Thanks for listening, stay safe E-Cult!

Hey E-cult! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) continue telling all of their favorite stories about the signs Libra-Pisces! We talk break up stories, sex stories, and laugh a lot more than usual. Quarantine continues but Astrology Sucks continues on! Follow us @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology on Twitter, and DM us about what you want to hear on upcoming episodes in lockdown!

On this two part episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologchef) have story time, where we go through the signs and tell personal stories we have with them. We ended up having a LOT to say, so we talk all about Aries-Virgo this episode! Sit back with some popcorn and enjoy campfire stories. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology and DM us your favorite stories about each sign!

Hey E-Cult, surprise! Technical difficulties meant a delayed episode, but we thought it disappeared forever, so this is a win! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) got on Instagram Live and talked about the signs being stuck inside. We talk about the twelfth house and its influence on isolation, talk to the E-Cult, laugh a whole lot about Tiger King, and try to lift the quarantine mood. Hope you enjoy this Wednesday episode, we have a new one dropping Friday too! Follow us on Instagram (where we plan to do more lives!) @astrologsuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology. Stay safe, wash your hands, stay inside! Love ya!

It's the Astrological New Year! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@Astrologychef) bring on an amazing Aries guest to roast allllll the rams to filth. Alexis aka @ayyriestrology is here to spill all the Aries tea, and she even drags Six and Shannon in return. It's an episode of laughs and fun to offset the dismal times we're seeing in the world right now. Wash your hands, stay inside, and follow us on Instagram at @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology! Love you, E-Cult!

Six and Shannon paging the E-Cult from the bunker....can you hear us?! The coronavirus has swept the globe, and we're here to talk about it and try to lighten the mood and laugh and try to rest our minds from the influx of news and hysteria. Wash your hands, stay inside as much as possible and work from home if you're able. 2020 is already a wild ride! Follow us @blackwomencry, @astrologychef, @astrologysuckspod on Insta and @SucksAstrology on Twitter! DM us your quarantine stories, we wanna know what the E-Cult is up to!

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) dive into discussing politics and how astrology ties into not only our current election cycle, but political points in history. We talk about the current political candidates' charts, as well as the chart of the USA. It's Friday the 13th, and there's really nothing spookier than the current state of the political world. Follow us on Twitter @SucksAstrology and Instagram @astrologysuckspod, and don't forget to WASH YOUR HANDS!!! Stay healthy, E-cult!

Hey E-Cult, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) have an extra long episode with a very special guest, @AstroDim! She is an astrologer that specializes in Chiron readings, and we dive deep into the centaur asteroid. We cover Chiron through the houses and how we can heal with the help of the asteroid. Follow Dimmi at @AstroDim, and follow us on Twitter @SucksAstrology and on Instagram @astrologysuckspod!

Time to swim with the fishes because it's Pisces season!!! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) are joined by Pisces tarot-reader and all around Pisces queen Tai Soleil! We get into all things Pisces, go on many a mutable Pisces tangent, and laugh REAL hard thanks to @taisoleil, so this is a must-listen! Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology, and don't forget to follow Tai on Instagram and Twitter @taisoleil, and visit her site for articles and readings https://www.taisoleil.com/. Thanks for listening, love ya E-Cult!

It is finally time to honor our father, Jupiter! On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) discuss our big bad father planet, theorize how Jupiter is the f*ckboi of the zodiac, and generally talk in circles about Jupiter energy. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology and DM us your #highthots so we can brag about our hilarious E-Cult on future episodes!

Love is in the air! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get into all things love on this episode, and they talk about their relationships current and past, get into some more compatibility, and celebrate this romantic holiday the best way they know how: getting high and shooting the shit. Send us Valentines on our Twitter @SucksAstrology or Instagram @astrologysuckspod and thanks for listening. Love you, E-cult!

Don’t drown, E-Cult, Mercury retrograde in Pisces is almost here and Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) are here to save you! We predict what this retrograde might bring us, talk a lot about Pisces, and talk Mercury retrograde through the houses. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology. Good luck this retrograde!

FINALLY, we have transcended our technical difficulties and give you an Aquarius episode for the ages! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) talk all things Aquarius with none other than astrologer Tess Chapman aka @tessastroz on Twitter/@astro.grlz on Instagram! We talk conspiracy theories, lettuce wraps, why Aquarius relates to aliens and much more on this overdue episode. Follow us on Twitter @SucksAstrology and Instagram @astrologysuckspod and don't forget to follow Tess everywhere as well and check out their website astrogrlz.com! Love ya, mean it E-cult! Happy Aquarius season!! 

Hey E-cult! How's the vibe? We're just checking in, as it's the season of quirky vibes, aka Aquarius season! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get lax and shoot the shit, check up on each other and have a surprise interview with a wise Taurus queen, Shannon's mom's friend Phyllis! Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology, and get excited for our Aquarius roast episode next week!

Get ready E-Cult, because Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) dive in DEEP into the depths of Saturn returns with none other than the mystical astrologer Lisa Stardust! She schools us on Saturn returns, Saturn through the houses and signs, and even shoots little quiz questions our way to keep our Sagittarius selves on our toes. We hope you enjoy this episode, and be sure to follow Lisa @lisastardust and visit her website at www.lisastardust.com for services and to read more of her work and prepare to buy her books! And follow us @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology on Twitter, and DM us or tweet your #highthots and we'll read them on an episode!

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get ~*magical*~ with astrologer and tarot extraordinaire Arthur Lipp-Bonewits! We talk planetary magic, talismans, the Cancer lunar eclipse, snack a lot, and Arthur explains why Aries actually has the best hair of the zodiac. Follow Arthur @lipandbone and find his reading services at http://arthurlippbonewits.com/readings, and follow us @astrologysuckspod on Instagram and @SucksAstrology and tweet us your #HighThots to be read on the podcast! Love ya, E-cult!

It's only right that during Capricorn season we'd talk all things Saturn! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get into the nitty gritty of the our solar system father. We talk mythology, we go through Saturn through the houses AND the signs, and we even have a random rant about Joel Olsteen's chart. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology, and send us your #highthots and we'll read them on an episode!

It's time to secure that bag because it's Capricorn season baby! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) are joined by Capricorn meme queen Maria Ramirez-Rieschick aka @capricornyio on Instagram and Twitter! We discuss and roast all things Capricorn, and we even talk about the Capricorn new moon solar eclipse (the Christmaclipse!). Be sure to follow our Instagram @astrologysuckspod and DM us or tweet your #highthots with our hashtags to be read on the podcast! Happy Goat season!

Happy holidays to our favorite E-cult and more importantly, MERRY IMPEACHMAS! The President of the United States has been impeached, but what now?! Listen up as Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) unpack Donald Trump’s birth chart, dive into the astrology of the impeachment, and make some predictions as to what might happen in the Senate vote. Don't forget to follow our Instagram @astrologysuckspod and Twitter @SucksAstrology, and DM us your #highthots to be read on future episodes! Happy holidays to all who celebrate, and thanks for listening!

What better day than Friday the 13th to get weird? On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) get wacky with the weirdo planet Uranus, and talk all things myth, some history, celebrities, and Uranus through the houses. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod, Twitter @SucksAstrology, and DM us your #highthots to be read on future episodes!

It's Saggie birthday season! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) celebrate their birthdays by reading each other's solar return charts, as well as talking about how you can best utilize your own solar return chart. Don't forget to follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod and DM us your #highthots and we'll read them on the next episode!

On this episode, your favorite Sagittarius duo finally get to roast ourselves! Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) are joined by none other than the knowledgable and outstanding Sagittarius astrologer Mecca Woods to roast all things our sign, Sagittarius! We celebrate our birthdays with a trio of Sagittarius tea spilling, and the tea is HOT. Follow us on Instagram @astrologysuckspod, and follow Mecca at @TheMeccanism on Twitter and @1meccanism on Instagram and find her services at mylifecreated.com. DM us your #HighThots to be read on future episodes!

Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) roast all the moon signs, and warning- no one is safe. It’s time to unpack moon signs, and figure out those things called “fEeLiNgS.” Follow our Instagram @astrologysuckspod and DM us your #highthots and we'll read them on the podcast!

On this extra long episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) dive deep into the watery depths of the planet Neptune and how it interacts with our charts and with society and history at large. We go hard in the paint on this one, so strap in for a history lesson, and the first #highthots shared to us by listeners! DM us your #highthots and follow our Instagram @astrologysuckspod!

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) break down the differences between cardinal, fixed and mutable signs and why they act Like That! We also catch up about Mercury retrograde and finally figure out what to call our lovely listeners. Follow our Instagram @astrologysuckspod, Twitter @sucksastrology, and DM us your #highthots!

Okay y’all, it’s time to expose those secretive Scorpios! Halloween just passed, so you know we got spooky. Don’t forget to follow Six (@blackwomencry), Shannon (@astrologychef), and our amazing guest, the Scorpio Queen Shakirah (@thestrology)! Email us your #HighThots at astrologysuckspod@gmail.com!

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) talk all things Mercury retrograde, including how this upcoming retrograde might affect you. Don’t forget to follow our Instagram: @astrologysuckspod Email us your #highthots at astrologysuckspod@gmail.com and we’ll read them on upcoming episodes.

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) talk all things Astrological compatibility. Including the difference between a composite chart and a synastry chart, and how they can both be used. Email us your #highthots at astrologysuckspod@gmail.com and we’ll read them on upcoming episodes.

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) talk all things Pluto. Including what the heck Pluto is even about, and what it means for him to be transiting in each of the houses! Email us your #highthots at astrologysuckspod@gmail.com and we’ll read them on upcoming episodes.

On this episode, Six (@blackwomencry) and Shannon (@astrologychef) talk all things Libra season with none other than king of the Libras, Jake of @jakesastrology! Email us your #highthots at astrologysuckspod@gmail.com and we’ll read them on upcoming episodes.

It’s the first episode of Astrology Sucks, and it’s only fair to meet your hosts. Six and Shannon roast each other into oblivion, because how can you burn someone else if you can’t handle the heat?