Bedroom Eyes

This is the second episode of Consent is Not Radical (Part 3), carried over from the last episode. In the third installment of my Consent is Not Radical series, I focus on ways in which radical consent theory reinforces erotophobia by casting sexual acts and expression that occur in public as unethical and harmful when they lack the consent of bystanders who witness it. In this episode, I focus more on indecent exposure, public sex, the relationship between minors and consent, the effects of sexual media on children/adolescents, the morality of causing others emotional harm, trauma triggers, and the politics of sex radicalism. Share this episode with your friends and followers on social media, if you think it's valuable. As always, I would love feedback on the ideas in this episode. Contribute to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/  Email: thejunomanson@gmail.com Links to references used: Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality by Gayle Rubin: https://sites.middlebury.edu/sexandsociety/files/2015/01/Rubin-Thinking-Sex.pdf Korean Spa transgender controversy: https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2021/06/30/koreatowns-wi-spa-at-center-of-controversy-after-complaint-about-transgender-customer/ Children and sexual exposure resources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/real-healing/201208/overexposed-and-under-prepared-the-effects-early-exposure-sexual-content https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2007/02/sexualization https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6751001/ https://openpsychologyjournal.com/contents/volumes/V5/TOPSYJ-5-1/TOPSYJ-5-1.pd Trauma resources: DSM-V version of trauma: https://www.istss.org/ISTSS_Main/media/Documents/ISTSS_DSM-5_Friedman_FINAL_Updated.pdf Critiques of DSM-IV version and proposed wider definition: https://www.sagepub.com/sites/default/files/upm-binaries/11559_Chapter_1.pdf Criterion creep and pre-traumatic stress disorder: https://web.b.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=15384985&AN=18780399&h=hpg6rRQiEbYaszn%2fmsXrgsWMNJNN6iGQOtifnEbMeUXsU%2bgdEuLeeu4iX4vnRKxhDa%2bpb7GNgGPT1SppYYHwjA%3d%3d&crl=f&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d15384985%26AN%3d18780399   Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US  

In the third installment of my Consent is Not Radical series, I focus on ways in which radical consent theory reinforces erotophobia by casting sexual acts and expression that occur in public as unethical and harmful when they lack the consent of bystanders who witness it. I talk about why I am opposed to that consent-based standard for judging the ethics and public tolerance of sexual and kinky acts, which is based on a desire to oppose erotophobia and to promote sexual/bodily autonomy. I describe the basics of erotophobia, indecency, and obscenity, as well as how religious ideas about sexuality and purity impact our cultural reaction to public sexuality. At the end, I describe my thoughts about children seeing various forms of kink in public. This third part of Consent is Not Radical spans two episodes, because there is so much content. So, this is only the first episode. The next one will come out in a couple of weeks. As always, the thoughts I share in this episode are not set in stone. I am always growing and changing in my opinions, and I am open to critique. I am looking forward to comments, critiques, and questions that this episode raises in listeners. You can share this episode on social media with your own commentary, leave a comment in any of the podcast apps, or email me directly to share thoughts. To support me in podcast production, donate monthly to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast TikTok @moonbitchcandles https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRAuUUG3/  Email me: thejunomanson@gmail.com   Links/References: Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality, by Gayle Rubin: https://sites.middlebury.edu/sexandsociety/files/2015/01/Rubin-Thinking-Sex.pdf Sex and Germs: The Politics of AIDS by Cindy Patton: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1862267.Sex_and_Germs Radical Consent resources: https://sherights.com/2015/02/10/why-radical-consent-makes-me-a-better-man/ https://reachma.org/what-is-consent-really-hint-its-way-more-than-just-about-sex/?fbclid=IwAR1HVjLkZlGewK1zujSyxkuAlzRhcboE1X8WJfOv-eDrOkjN887NB6BCey8 https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/conflict-break-up/consensual-relationships/?fbclid=IwAR3UFkMU9UDYtqOSpiruhOm4kHulLbwUiEpBQVKFWdKaqPcKC6A2U923DVE http://justiceandpeaceconsulting.com/sexuality-education-for-all-bodies/parenting-for-consent-and-healthy-sexuality-workshops/preemptive-radical-consent/ https://theswaddle.com/how-to-ask-for-non-sexual-consent/ https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/11/practice-consent-beyond-sex/ Anthony Comstock: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Comstock Obscenity standards: https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/obscenity Grocery Store Kink Scene: https://www.ladbible.com/news/weird-photo-of-dominatrix-walking-man-through-supermarket-on-lead-goes-viral-20201019 Kat Blaque video on public kink scenes: https://youtu.be/pnyn7WtD-hw Kink in Public and Consent: https://lifeofakinkywife.com/consent-and-kink-in-public/ Respectability Politics: https://theundefeated.com/features/respectability-politics-how-a-flawed-conversation-sabotages-black-lives/ https://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/the-rise-of-respectability-politics Adultism: https://www.youthonboard.org/adultism https://www.researchgate.net/publication/280102266_Adultism   Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US  

This episode is about the fallibility of human beings, sexual violation, the complicated nature of consent, accountability in the age of cancel culture, and the importance of having compassion for our shadow selves. I delve into what it might mean to practice self-accountability and the kind of culture that is most conducive to that process for people.This episode is also deeply connected to Satanism for me. I question how to apply tenets 1 and 6 of The Satanic Temple to cases of sexual harm in our communities/social networks. The first tenet states, "One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason." The sixth tenet states, "People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused." However, the content of this episode will be relevant to anyone, not only Satanists. Note: This episode does not represent the views of The Satanic Temple as a religious organization, and I don't speak for anyone else involved in TST. These are my opinions, and I held them before becoming involved with TST. I am, however, inspired by the tenets and their connection to my own values.Content warning: there are detailed descriptions of non-consensual sex, because the details are important to disclose in this context. Twitter: @JunoMariahReferences:The Satanic Temple 7 Tenets"We Are All Survivors, We Are All Perpetrators" zineMr. Girl "Consent is Complicated" videoAdrienne Maree Brown on transformative justice and cancel culture"Virtuous Pedophiles" support group for people with pedophiliaAcademy of Ideas video on Carl Jung's "shadow self" theory"Our Story of Rape and Reconciliation" Ted Talk Intro/Outro Music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworkerMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unportedhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

In this rhizomatic episode, Juno and their semantically-minded friend Clara get critical about philosophical topics ranging from the difference between ethics and morals, morally loaded language, the concept of “linguistic fencing,” selfishness and asking for what you want, cooperative individualism, the coercive nature of society, rejecting the label of “feminist,” radical feminist approaches to gender and the meaning of TERF, as well as domination and submission.  Intro/Outro Music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworkerMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unportedhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

Juno talks about their development of moral nihilism and political pessimism, and their dissolution with the anarchist idealism that they used to have. They also talk about the desire to focus on small, local community building for the sake of creating resilience and pleasure under capitalism in their lifetime, and the importance of recognizing and deconstructing the insidious hierarchies, domination, and power inequality that arise in leftist and anarchist spaces. A lot of this episode is filled with Juno's doubts, skepticism, and questions about things that they don't know the answers to. Feel free to engage in dialogue with them about the content of this episode and to give your critiques.  "Because I Wanted To," Kaneko Fumiko: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/max-res-kaneko-fumiko-because-i-wanted-to Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworkerMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unportedhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

Juno and their close friend Benzi talk about their different responses to childhood abuse, abuse as part of intergenerational oppression, how their coping mechanisms for the effects of abuse have impacted their friendship, the difficulty of working while dealing with trauma, and the parent-child dynamic. CW: This episode contains some descriptions of abuse.Intro/Outro Music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworkerMusic promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.comCreative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unportedhttps://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US 

Juno talks about their new framing of autonomy and agency, based on their skepticism of conscious free will, and how that affects their perspective on behavior change, coercion, and their core purpose for investing in the theory of relationship anarchism.Juno also talks about their need for funds for sustaining this podcast and improving their housing security and general quality of life. If you would like to donate to these goals, you can pledge a monthly contribution via their patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcastYou can also make a donation to their paypal. Their account is: thejunomanson@gmail.com or you can use this direct paypal link: paypal.me/junomoriah. References to writing by Rotten Zucchinis in this episode:https://rotten-zucchinis.tumblr.com/post/142413778585/of-relationship-anarchy-accessibility-and-sittinghttps://rotten-zucchinis.tumblr.com/post/142426615287/of-relationship-anarchy-accessibility-and-sittingIntro/outro music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

Trigger warning: this episode includes brief descriptions of sexual coercion and violence.Before delving into this episode, please listen to Consent is Not Radical: Part 1. In this episode, Juno continues their political critique of feminist consent rhetoric, but with a focus on the language of sexual violence, coercion, and agency, as well as an analysis of victim mentality and how that disempowers us. They also propose liberatory consciousness-raising and self-transformation as integral to dismantling patriarchal sex. Intro/Outro Music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

A solo episode in which Juno analyzes their own fear of fatness. This was inspired by a Dismantling Fatphobia discussion series that they recently attended. The first half of the episode explores Juno's emotional baggage about approaching the issue, how Juno's fatphobia developed from childhood through adulthood, and what it feels like now. The second half deals with conflicts that Juno has with the anti-fatphobia movement using positivity, beauty, and health as rallying points for anti-oppression work. I apologize for the sound quality (some background static) in this episode.Links:Is It Unhealthy to Be Overweight?Everything You Know About Obesity is WrongFood Psych Episode on COVID19Intro/Outro Music:Intermezzo by Patchworker f.k.a. [friendzoned] | https://soundcloud.com/patchworker Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US

Juno and their friend Ryan discuss the philosophy of science, the concept of agency, the illusion of the self, free will, how we cultivate open-mindedness, becoming liberated from oppressive ideology, the absurdity of existence, and whether we can know anything. 

Feminists are often asked why they hate men so much. But, the question that us women and non-men should be asking ourselves is why we continue to like men. What are the systemic, sociological, emotional, and political reasons that we still seek out relationships with men under patriarchy? Juno discusses these questions with their friend Nicole, during this guest episode. This episode is inspired by the insightful, extremely intimate, and politically-charged podcast series called "Why Do I Like Men," which was hosted by the award-winning journalist Harron Walker. You can, AND SHOULD, check out that podcast on Apple Podcasts here.

Juno talks about their racial identity formation as a racially ambiguous person of Afro-European descent, the pain of being mixed race in mono-racial spaces, community building with white people and people of color, blackness, intergenerational racial trauma, colorism, and white privilege. Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported.

Juno shares their perspectives on Satanism, Satanic media, sexual objectification, and The Satanic Temple.Links to references on my Patreon page: patreon.com/bedroomeyespodcast.Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

Juno talks about consent culture, the political ideology of radical consent, sex-positivity, and what values and practices could make sexual interaction more ethical. Intro/Outro: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported. 

Juno talks about death-positivity, community as suicide prevention, their own suicide attempt, and the importance of Satanic values in their life now. Intro/Outro: Intermezzo [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported. Stop Suicide: Eat the Rich. 

Juno talks about sex, gender, and identity, including their own gender nonconforming journey, through a social constructionist lens. Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported.

What is healthy and unhealthy sex? How do we manage sexual behavior that violates our values and feels out of control? When does BDSM become harmful? Juno explores those questions through their personal experience with compulsive sexual behavior.Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported.

Juno explains why monogamy and marriage are harmful institutions, and why relationship anarchy (aka autonomous relating) is a more ethical way of relating with others interpersonally and politically. Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported

Juno Mariah discusses the ethics of buying and commodifying emotional, physical, and sexual labor through their experiences as a professional platonic cuddler and a sex worker.Intro/Outro Music: Intermezzo by [friendzoned]. CC Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported