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Alcohol Recovery Podcast | The ODAAT Chat Podcast
OC183 Dr Anna Lembke - Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance In the Age of Indulgence

Alcohol Recovery Podcast | The ODAAT Chat Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2021 56:23


Please Subscribe For More Episodes!   iTunes: https://apple.co/30g6ALF Spotify: https://odaatchat.libsyn.com/spotify Stitcher: https://bit.ly/3n0taNQ YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/2UpR5Lo   Purchase Her Book on Amazon! Be sure to follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration: @odaatpodcast and @arlinaallen Hello Loves,   Thank you for downloading the podcast, my name is Arlina, and I'll be your host.   In case we haven't met yet, I am a certified Recovery Coach and Hypnotist. I am obsessed with all things recovery, including neuroscience, reprogramming the subconscious mind, law of attraction, all forms of personal growth and spirituality. I have been practicing abstinence from drugs and alcohol since 4/23/94, and I believe in people finding what works for them.    Today I'll be talking with Dr Anna Lembke, she is Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University and author of the #1 Bestseller “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance In the Age of Indulgence”. It would be a vast understatement to say it was such an honor to interview her for the podcast.  If you've been listening to these interviews for any length of time, you'll know I love learning about ideas I can share that will help lead people out of suffering. Up til now I've been hyper focused on empathy largely based off of Brene Brown's work around vulnerability and she shared that empathy is the antidote to shame. I've also treasured the idea that “honesty without compassion is cruelty” so I've been pretty focused on empathy but it felt like something was missing.   Then I read this by Anna: “Empathy without accountability perpetuates victimhood”. I had an absolute “holy crap” moment. Not an “aha”, a holy crap. Because, I believe that I can't really help people who are stuck or committed to a victim mentality. Those are people who are unwilling or unable to accept personal responsibility and I actually have a visceral and negative response to that type of thinking.   I had to send Anna a follow up email and ask for more feedback, specifically around what to say to people who have relapsed, and this is what she said:   “I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for your suffering. That must be so hard.”  What this does is validate that the relapse happened, while also acknowledging the pain that person is experiencing. I think of it similar to what I would say to someone who told me their cancer which had been in remission came back.”   So brilliant. I just love her.   Anyway, that was a very long intro, but I wanted you to have that extra bit of wisdom from her.   I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.   Arlina Allen  6:09   Okay, here we go. We'll talk to you. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast.   Unknown Speaker  6:15   Thank you for inviting me, I am very happy to be here.   Arlina Allen  6:18   I'm so excited. Listen, I say that all the time. But I really, really men it this time because I have been reading your book, and actually I listened to the audio book first while I'm walking, because I sort of like the first wash of like, all these concepts. And then I get the book because I'm a students. And I like to, you know, highlight and underline and Mark things. And this book was stuff. It has some pictures. Yeah. Picture like people like me, pictures are amazing. Yeah. But I just it's called dopamine, finding balance in the age of indulgence, I'm sorry, dopamine nation. And, wow, I have so many questions to ask. But I think a good place to start might be with maybe what what is dopamine? Really, because I think there's a lot of misconceptions about what dopamine is, there isn't like a dopamine pill. But you know, when people take drugs, I think they activate dopamine, but maybe I don't really have a good understanding. So I thought maybe I could sort of clarify what it really is, and, and why it's important.   Dr Anna Lembke  7:31   Yeah, so dopamine is a chemical that we make in our brain. And it's very important for the experience of motivation, reward, and pleasure, and also fundamental in this self reregulating kind of system, that's called homeostasis, that is so fundamental to our physiology, and also, you know, to our survival. So essentially, you know, in a kind of broad brushstrokes simplified form, if you imagine that there is a balance in your brain, kind of like a teeter totter in a kid's playground, when we do something pleasurable that balance tips one way, and when we do something that's painful, that balance tips the other way, or when we ingest a substance that's pleasurable, or when we have an injury, you know, we cut our finger to the side of pain. But one of the overarching rules governing that balance is that it wants to remain level or preserve what neuroscientists call homeostasis. And it will work very hard to preserve a level balance with any deviation from neutrality. So when we do something that is pleasurable, we release dopamine, the pleasure neurotransmitter in the brain's reward pathway, which is a special part of our brain that's been conserved over millions of years, and is the same across many different species, even very primitive organisms. And that balance tip slightly to the side of pleasure. But no sooner Has that happened, then our brain will try to reregulate to bring that balance level again. And it does that by down regulating dopamine production and down regulating dopamine transmission in the reward pathway. But it doesn't just bring dopamine back down to tonic baseline levels, it actually brings it below baseline. So what happens I think of that as these Gremlins hopping on the pain side of the balance to bring in level again, but they stay on until the balance is tipped and equal and opposite amount to the side of pain. Yes, and that's of course, the kind of looking at the book. There's a little graphic in there, right there. And with Gremlins, right, I'm also a visual thinker. And so I just, you know, wanted to create a simple metaphor.   Arlina Allen  9:52   This is Brian, on page 52 of the book. There's like the seesaw or the teeter totter that you mentioned. And I thought That was so interesting because it when you're talking about uh when we indulge in the dopamine like you know even on the little graph is chocolate social media gaming porn shopping in my case drugs alcohol all that stuff not to say that I don't indulge in social media those other are those other things shopping that we there is that deficit it's like the equal opposite   Dr Anna Lembke  10:26   yes right for every pleasure we pay a price yes price is the come down and sometimes can be very subtle outside of conscious awareness. But you know it's there. And you know if we wait long enough that feeling of wanting to buy one more thing or watch one more video or have one more piece of chocolate goes away and and homeostasis is restored. But if we continue to bombard our dopamine reward pathway with highly reinforcing drugs and behaviors, what ends up happening is that to compensate for that, let's say artificially high levels of dopamine and I call it artificial because you know, the fundamental difference between things that are addictive and those that are not are that addictive, things release a whole lot more dopamine in the reward pathway. And of course, technology has taken even things that were not addictive like food, and made them highly potent and turn them into drugs or human connection. Social media has drug A fight human connection. But as a result of constantly bombarding our dopamine reward pathways, what ends up happening is our brains are desperately trying to compensate. And so they're way down down regulate, our brains are down regulating our dopamine production, and we end up in this kind of chronic dopamine deficit state where we have, you know, 1000s, of Gremlins on the pain side of the balance, and they've kind of camped out there, right, they brought their barbecues, their tents, they're not going anywhere fast. And, and it lasts a long time, which I think is really fundamental to understanding a couple of things. The first thing is, why on earth do people with addiction, relapse, after months, or even years of recovery and abstinence and their lives are so much better? Why on earth would they go back to using the reason is because they're not necessarily walking around. With a level balance, they are potentially walking around with a balance tilted to the side of pain on a daily basis experiencing the universal symptoms of withdrawal, which can last for months to years. And those include anxiety, insomnia, irritability, depression, and craving or intrusive thoughts of wanting views. The other reason I think this is balances is really helpful, is because not only does it allow us to understand the disease of addiction and relapse and to have compassion for that. But also it might explain, and this is the fundamental hypothesis of dopamine nation. Why it is that despite the fact that we have all our survival needs met, and then some why our rates of depression, anxiety and suicide going up all over the world, especially in rich countries. And I do believe that's because we individually and collectively, are engaging in so many high reward high pleasure activities and substances, that in order for our primitive brains to compensate, we have collectively downregulated, our own dopamine transmission such that we're all more depressed and anxious.   Arlina Allen  13:22   Yeah, you know, in the beginning of recovery, a lot of people talk about boredom. And I think we're so overstimulated when we're using that, when we get sober and practice that, you know, those of us are practicing practicing abstinence, I am aware that there is like harm reduction, you know, and that's the thing I totally I feel like that's totally valid. I quit drinking alcohol on my 25th birthday and continued to smoke weed for five months. I didn't know that recovery is about complete apps. That's just, they called it the marijuana maintenance program back in the day. Uh huh. Anyway, now we're calling it harm reduction, just fine. But what I thought was so interesting is and this is what I have heard over the years is that when people first get sober, they're bored. And I listened to the interview you did with Dr. Andrew Huber many we're talking about boredom and anxiety, which at first blush, you wouldn't think that those two go together. But when all your needs are met, and you really have and you don't have a passion or in my case obsessions for different things. If you don't if you don't have that you like get bored and then it's like, creates anxiety. Right? I see that in my kids.   Unknown Speaker  14:37   Yeah, of course. Yeah. I mean, especially the way because we're living in a time when we're constantly able to distract distract ourselves from our own thoughts, and our own ruminations and even our own creativity really, such that when we take away those distractions, we're suddenly you know, plummeted into the abyss really existentially We are bored, and sort of then contemplate well, gee, I don't have anything to do like, What? What is the purpose of my life anyway. But I think the key really is number one to acknowledge that boredom can be an extremely painful emotion, literally, physically painful, and scary. But that if we can just sit with it, and not try to run away from it, it is also the progenitor of creativity, and a place where new things are born. And so you know, just thinking about, like, you know, open space, like, it's like, you need space before you can have a supernova, you know, you need to have that blankness in order to, you know, initiate something new. And the internet really allows us all to be in this constant state of reactivity, where we're always responding to some some kind of input, rather than, you know, sitting quietly and generating.   Arlina Allen  15:56   Yeah, no, it's, I have a question for you about the neurotransmitter. So it's my understanding, like, from a chemistry perspective, that, you know, your receptors, your brain cells have receptors on them that are the uptake with Deborah allow the cells to receive the dopamine. And if you flood your cells, I'm sorry, I don't know that is your neurotransmitters? Yes, yes. Okay. So the receptor if there, there's like little receptors that allow that uptake of the dopamine, but if it's flooded too much, your cells will retract those receptors. Exactly. Right. So this is the attic mind, how long does it take the brain to heal, meaning it puts back a normal amount of receptors, because in my mind, I was thinking, I took some physiology anatomy in college, and it was like, Oh, that's why when people first stop using, they don't feel anything, it's like they can't, because their brain was trying to protect them this whole time by retracting those receptors, not allowing them to uptake the dopamine. And so because they're not there, people feel flat, like they, they feel flat, and they can't feel it. And so everybody always says, Well, how long until I start feeling good again? Like, how long does it take their brain cells to put those little receptors back out? So people start feeling good?   Dr Anna Lembke  17:21   Yeah, so in my clinical experience, it takes a minimum of a month, and that's less bad, not bad. And let me just say, a minimum of a month to start to regenerate other receptors and regulate dopamine transmission. But I mean, the protracted abstinence syndrome can last many months to even years, in some cases, right? Yeah. pends on the person, it depends on the drug, it depends on how you know how much they used. But in my clinical experience, and again, this is supported by some evidence, if people totally abstain for one month, in weeks one and two, that pleasure, pain balance to transmission is below baseline, because it's exactly as you say, our neurons have retracted those dopamine receptors, so we're not getting, you know, that stimulation. And we're experiencing withdrawal. But by weeks, three or four, people typically start to feel better. And by week four, even people with some very severe addictions, will start to notice improvement. Now, one thing you have to be really careful about is cross addiction. So all addictive substances work on that same common pathway, don't mean is a universal currency for the process of addiction, at least as far as we know, at this point. So if you give up your cannabis, but you keep smoking cigarettes, you know, you're not going to get the same kind of upregulation. Because you're not going to be abstaining from nicotine, which is gonna be you know, it's not, you know, most of my patients are not willing to give up cigarettes and nicotine and alcohol and all of it at once. That's a lot to give up. So whatever they're willing to do is great. And often they will see improvements, even if they just give up one thing. But to really get the full benefit and really restore homeostasis, you kind of have to give it all up in order. What   Arlina Allen  19:12   about what about caffeine?   Dr Anna Lembke  19:14   Well, you know, caffeine is a stimulant. So it sort of depends on how much you're using. If you're one cup of coffee a day, it probably isn't going to make much difference and you can just keep doing that. But if you're at you know, eight cups of coffee a day, that's that's probably probably time to. And the truth is that, believe it or not, it sounds harder to give it all up at once. But it might in fact be easier. There are studies showing that people who quit drinking and quit smoking cigarettes at the same time have better outcomes than people who just quit drinking but keep smoking.   Arlina Allen  19:50   Or these people who were considered pretty heavy on the alcohol use disorder spectrum or you know, I don't think alcoholic is really a A clinical term any longer Is that true?   Unknown Speaker  20:02   That's true.   Arlina Allen  20:03   It's alcohol use disorder.   Dr Anna Lembke  20:04   Yes, that's right. So we're trying to the alcoholic comes from Alcoholics Anonymous. It's just not a medicalized term. It's a perfectly good term. But it's just not one that we're, you know, we're using in Medicine Today we're trying to use a more generic term that can crossover many different substances to now it's, we don't even use the term addiction, believe it or not in a lot. Yeah, strange, right? And that's, you know, believe it or not, it hasn't really been the term the medical term. Now, let me say I use it all the time. It's the broadly understood term for this process. It is used in neuroscience texts. It is in the name of the of NIDA, the National, its own National Institute of Drug Abuse, which is a term we don't use anymore. The language of addiction is changing. But in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it's not called nicotine addiction, or alcohol addiction. It's called nicotine use disorder, alcohol use disorder, cannabis use disorder, and I'm like that.   Arlina Allen  21:01   Okay. So it is specific to the whatever people are using. Okay, that's so interesting. I did not know that. Listen, I kind of came up in Alcoholics Anonymous. So, you know, but I've noticed that, and I'm sure you've noticed this too, like, and maybe not because you're not on social media. Is that true? You're not on social media? That's not true. Yeah, that's true. But you are in the social dilemma. Right? Fascinating. Like I had resisted watching it, because I'm sorry, I was sort of in the camp of, you know, I use social media for good. You know, so I don't, I didn't maybe are good. Yeah, it can. Yeah, I mean, it's that's how I communicate all everything that I do. My podcast and everything that I do is I'm trying to disseminate information, you know, solution. And he's social media. So I'm like, it's all it hits like money. It's all in how you use it, right? Like you use your powers for good. Kind of like Spider Man. But, um, where am I going with that, but but it's there's a bit of self denial because I do find I'm, you know, sort of like the typical addict, let's say, have that sort of propensity for addiction or anything obsessive anything that I like, I want more, right, I don't really have that off switch. So it's like, oh, I found something I'm passionate about is helping people recovering, Alcoholics Anonymous, and so that's all I want to do. So he says, it seems like a healthier obsession.   Dr Anna Lembke  22:37   You know, putting investing our energy into things that we care about, that gives us to me meaning and purpose that serve others that make the world a better place, those are all those are all good things, they can also cross the line into addiction, we can, you know, there is work addiction. People can get, you know, caught up in that in a way that's not healthy for themselves or others. But in general, you know, when we're serving others, those are usually healthy behaviors.   Arlina Allen  23:06   Yeah, I remembered my point of that little thing I just did. But with the social media, it's so interesting to see that the vernacular is changing in the world of social media, how people like me who are trying to disseminate information about recovery and sobriety, the vernacular is changing, because a lot of people, women, especially, actually are very, like anti a, because of the male dominated vocabulary. And, you know, there's this sort of patriarchal overtone, and overtures. And I kind of grew up in the church where I learned to, you know, you're supposed to read the Bible, and then you sort of decipher what it means to you. When I got sober. I was like, these people are like, Oh, you can solve that problem here. And I was like, I'm all in. And I would read the text and literature and I would just translate like, I had that ability to translate into what it means to me. So I didn't really get hung up on I was super desperate to be sober. So I didn't get hung up on terms like alcoholic or, you know, everything being in he him. There's like in the book, I'm sure you're familiar, a chapter to the lives, right? Yeah. As if we were, you know, the women were sort of secondary. And so there's all this discussion right now about how, like a lot of people I interview they talk about alcohol free, they won't even use the word like alcoholic seem shaming. Uh huh. Or have you have you experienced that and the people that come to see you.   Dr Anna Lembke  24:43   I certainly have, you know, encountered a lot of people who for whom a was not useful or effective, but I've encountered an equal number or more for whom a was absolutely you know, the lifesaver for them men and women. But I think it's important to put a into its historical context, it started in the 1930s. It was started by, you know, two men who met each other and support each other. It is one of the most remarkable and robust social movements in the last 100 years, totally peer driven, takes no financial outside support takes no political stance is free is everywhere. And I do agree with you that, you know, language was important and needs to change with changing times. And I think there have been some updates to the big book, you know, more more modern, and more accessible. And certainly, I've heard of certain I'm aware of abuses in the rooms and in a, I mean, I'm glad today that there are many options, different options for me to get into recovery online, in person. abstinence oriented, moderation oriented, and I think this is great. I think there are lots of paths to the top of the mountain. But I would not throw out a you know, I know, it's a really powerful philosophy and approach. And, you know, just absolutely miraculous for, you know, for people for whom it works and who actively participate.   Arlina Allen  26:15   Yeah, well, there you go, you have to actively participate. I'm a huge fan like it absolutely. There was not actually when I got sober 27 years ago, there wasn't really nothing else. Yeah, there was really nothing else, I was super grateful. And I lived in San Jose. So in the Bay Area, where you are, there are there were like 800 meetings a week. Yeah. And there were women's meetings and very specialized meetings, there was I used to go to a 6am meeting every day that attracts a certain crowd. So I was I was super lucky. And I know that's not the case everywhere. But   Dr Anna Lembke  26:51   the other thing to keep in mind is that the rates of alcohol use disorder and women have gone up 85% in the last two decades, 85%, the ratio of women who are addicted to alcohol, or men who are addicted to alcohol versus women has been in the range of five to one to two to one for many generations, but in the last generation, starting with the millennials, that is approached one to one. And so now women are as likely to present with an alcohol use disorder as men, which is a brand new phenomenon. And really, you know, therefore, I do appreciate that, you know, women, who are we have more women than ever, you know, addicted to alcohol, they're also wanting new ways that are better suited to women, possibly, you know, to get into recovery.   Arlina Allen  27:41   Yeah, I had a friend point out that, you know, the court system is sending people to a, who may or may not belong there, you know, predators, people with, you know, you know, violent histories or whatever that, you know, the court system is sending a lot of people there, too, I always tell women to go to women's meetings,   Dr Anna Lembke  28:00   I think that's a good place place to start. Or what I say to people is that, you know, going to meetings is a little bit. I mean, maybe this isn't a great analogy, but it's a little bit like dating, you have to, you know, meet a bunch of different meetings before you find one that you like, that's a great analogy. And there's a lot of frogs. Yeah. And then the truth is that recovery is better in some meetings than others. So you want to make sure you find a meeting where there's good recovery and recovery can change. I mean, these are very organic, human gatherings, and you can have a meeting that's really unhealthy and positive, and then it loses a few key people, or there's some other disruption of location or time you lose that frame and you lose the meeting. So it's important to, you know, to just make sure you're going to Good, good meetings.   Arlina Allen  28:47   Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I've seen, like for women who have children like I, you for, so I was with my husband, and he's sober. And we didn't go to meetings together for like, 10 years when we first had kids, because number one, I never, I can't focus on funding to bring my kid to Yeah, it was just a variety mindset. Yeah, yeah. So there were so for women, when they have kids, it's like lifestyle changes, you know, affect your ability to go to, to meetings. I know. For some women, it was like, they're working full time. They have kids, it's like, you want me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days? That seems impossible. But you know, nowadays, it's a little different because we have online meetings and things like that. We have a little more, but gosh, it depends. I know the pandemic was really hard on a lot of people in a lot of ways. But it also presented has now provided new opportunities, because now women can go to meetings like we can literally, there's an international woman's meeting that goes 24 seven. Wow, that's cool. Yeah, it's been continuous for four months now. I want to ask you, I've so many questions. So we were talking about early recovery, people experiencing boredom and Takes about, you know, it takes some time for that to heal. So I think if people are aware of that that's coming that they can adapt to that. And to know that their passions for things will come back. Dr. Haberman described addiction as a narrowing of things that bring pleasure. And it's so interesting because as soon as we set it down, it's like, we start finding other things interesting again, when it comes to so I'm a mom, I know a lot of my listeners are your mom, you know, the whole video game thing, especially in this age of pandemic, where kids don't really have a whole lot to do and they're craving connection. It's been really confusing as a parent to know how to support your kids. It's like, Listen, I can't entertain their, you know, their teenagers, I can entertain them the whole time. It's like I have work to do. But I'm terrified about what's what happens to them sometimes in this in this age, and I have moms that are like, and our kids are so in touch with, like their neurosis now, like when I was coming up, we didn't know that my sister was struggling with clinical depression. We didn't know that that was the thing. The you know, whatever. 40 I don't know how overall I don't do math A long time ago. But now the kids are like, Oh, I have anxiety. I have depression. I have this. It's you know, the sex. Sexual orientation is so fluid. And it's like, as a parent, it's hard to know how to support your kids because we were kind of grew. I think you grew up with syrup. Did you grow up with like, a little bit of tough love?   Dr Anna Lembke  31:36   Yeah, you know, a little bit of healthy neglect. I think it's fair to say, maybe verging on unhealthy neglect. But yeah, baby nine.   Unknown Speaker  31:44   Is that a thing? benign?   Arlina Allen  31:45   Yeah, so that's Yeah, my mom was a total badass. Is that was like it was the whole Go figure. Figure it out? That's right. Yeah, for yourself. And, but we don't do that to our kids now, because we are aware of like the suicide rate. So I feel like we're in a rock between a rock and a hard place, because we can't really do the hardest thing anymore. Because our kids might kill themselves. And it's like, how, as a mom, am I supposed to help my kids through the difficult times without them getting addicted to video games? Or like, even if they're home all the time, they're not doing drugs and alcohol? They can still be, you know, porn. And listen, I don't even want to know. But video, let's just say video games, just like the online stimulation. How do I, as a mom, like your mom, how do you help your kids? How do we help our kids like self regulate?   Dr Anna Lembke  32:44   Well, I think an important important place to start is to talk about how pleasure and pain are processed in the brain. And how the brain really does want to assert this level balance or preserve homeostasis. And that any deviation from neutrality, whether it's on the pleasure side, or the pain side actually constitutes a stressor to the brains when we think about what's stressing kids out. Now, I would argue, as I do argue, in my book, that it's all of the feel good drugs and behaviors that's actually contributing to the stressors itself. Because when we're the kids are playing these video games, they're getting a huge bolus of dopamine in the reward pathway, then their brains need to compensate by down regulating their own dopamine transmission, bringing it bringing in those postsynaptic receptors. Such that you know, when those kids try to pull away from the video game, first of all, it's very hard to do that they will experientially describe that. And then they're depressed. So it's actually the gaming and the pornography and the social media that is causing the depression and anxiety and not the other way around. So what I counsel parents to do is to first understand something about that basic neurophysiology, explain it to their kids, talk to kids about how these online products can be great, but they can also be drugs and that they have been engineered to be drugs and to keep us clicking, and swiping and scrolling. And that we have to be really mindful of how we're using them and that in moderation, it's just fine. But just like you wouldn't get up and eat ice cream for breakfast, you probably don't want to get up first thing in the morning and, you know, be scrolling through social media and do that all day long. You know, the all all good things in moderation. Right, right. I mean, so we're all we all struggle with this. It's not just our kids. The other thing I say to parents, you know, so, as a family, talk about the dangers in talking about the good things about social media and video games and all that, but also talk about the dangers. Talk about how important it is to pay attention to not just how you feel when you're doing the activity, but also how it makes you feel afterwards. Talk about the importance of having some device free and tech free times in the day like maybe at dinner time or some other time with the family. Family, maybe taking tech free vacations, if you can do that, where maybe for a week at a time, everybody leaves their devices at home and goes and interacts in nature. These are all things that people, they just like they're horrified at the thoughts they get, right? Thinking about just leaving their phone behind, but But the truth is, that's really an indication of how addicted, we have all become. Even the thought of not bringing our phones with us, you know, generates anxiety. And you know, that's the same thing as my patients who are addicted to alcohol. And the thought of not having access to alcohol at that party, or at that gathering, or when I get home, you know, is absolutely terrifying to me. So I think we really have to, you know, conceptualize these behaviors as potentially highly addictive and, you know, be thoughtful about organizing our use around them to really respect the pathophysiology. In the   Arlina Allen  35:57   first the first thought they came up here and he said, Take a tech free vacation, I was like, isn't the first week off of addiction like your worst week?   Dr Anna Lembke  36:06   It is, it is. And frankly, that's why I do recommend a full month off in order to give it enough time to reset reward pathways so that you're not craving anymore. Yeah. And then and then if you want to go back to using or you have to go back to using because you need the smartphone for your work. Really, at that point, it's much easier to be intentional and thoughtful about using differently using less barriers.   Arlina Allen  36:31   Like the self binding you were talking about.   Unknown Speaker  36:34   Right? Okay, so   Arlina Allen  36:35   I'm going to jump to that since we just talked about it. So page 93 of the book, we talk about binding and I thought that was really interesting. I loved how he used Homer's Odysseus and the sirens, the story of the sirens, how's the captain would be back on his air in time self to the boat. You know what's funny is this whole time I thought the sirens were like mermaids. They're birds.   Dr Anna Lembke  36:57   They're half bird, half human creatures who spell bind sailors with their enchanting song, lure them to the rocks, and kill them that way. Kill him. I don't know. But yeah, so the story, right is that that he he but he asks his sailors to bind him to the mast, and to put beeswax in his ear so they can get through that passage without being lowered, lowered by the sirens.   Arlina Allen  37:22   What are some of those? Okay, so we mentioned, let's see, I have a list of I had a list of soft binding, things you mentioned, you know, first thing that came to mind was rehab, that's kind of a soft binding thing. And it's the first 30 days gives you a chance for your brain to reset. Obviously, like changing your environment, removing all temptations around your house when you were talking about video games, you know, or other devices. You had an interesting, I don't want to spoil the book for anybody, but you had an interesting client or patient that had a machine. Right, right, machine. But anyway, he broke in her head and did all kinds of crazy things to try to avoid it. bless his heart, that must have been awful. But yeah, so we do all kinds of self binding practices or so but I kind of wanted to relay that relate that to medications, would you consider medications a self binding? practice?   Dr Anna Lembke  38:25   Yeah, I think they really can be so for example, if you take a medication like now trek zone, which blocks the opioid receptor, that's been shown to help people reduce or stop opioids because obviously if the receptors blocked opioids like heroin or fake it in whatever it is, can't bind, but alcohol is also mediated through our own endogenous opioid system. So when the naltrexone is on the opioid receptor, alcohol is not as reinforcing. And so that can help people either stop drinking alcohol or reduce the number of drinks on drinking days. So it's a nice medicine to help people not only whose goal is abstinence, but also who have a goal of moderation. You know,   Arlina Allen  39:09   I have a client who has a family member, let's say is probably physically addicted alcohol is naltrexone use for somebody that you're chemically detoxing or medically detoxing. Is that a is that a drug that   Dr Anna Lembke  39:24   we we think of detox which is that period of helping somebody through acute withdrawal, especially potentially life threatening withdrawal and say that alcohol withdrawal can be life threatening benzodiazepine withdrawal can be life threatening that Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, advant opioid withdrawal can be life threatening. So if you're somebody who's so physically dependent on alcohol, benzos, or opioids, that you're going to go into life threatening withdrawal, you wouldn't want to just quit, you know, you would want to go see a doctor and have a medically supervised you know, medically managed withdrawal All we really think of addiction treatment or recovery as beginning, when acute withdrawal is over. Oh god, no, naltrexone is a medicine that we would use to help somebody get into and maintain recovery. It's not a medicine that we use in in acute withdrawal.   Arlina Allen  40:22   Okay, so that's after acute withdrawal. That's right. Yeah, that's important. Let's talk a little bit about I like that you have dopamine as an acronym on page 88. Okay, he had it summarized in that little, and a picture. I like pictures. Can we go over the what it stands for?   Dr Anna Lembke  40:44   Yeah. So the dopamine acronym is really just a framework for how to initially approach the problem of compulsive overconsumption, or in some cases, addiction. This is a framework that is good choice in people who are not so physically dependent, that they're going to go into life threatening withdrawal. And it wouldn't be a good framework for somebody who had already repeatedly tried to stop on their own and just was incapable somebody, for example, who was injecting heroin multiple times a day and just couldn't even go for a day without so that that would be somebody who would really need a higher level of care. But for those of us who have maybe mild to moderate addiction, or maybe aren't even addicted yet, but we're on our way to becoming addicted and or just engaging in compulsive overconsumption. This dopamine acronym kind of outlines a basic framework, and the D stands for data. And that's where I asked patients to describe to me what they're using, how much how often, and just by getting them to articulate to another human being what they're doing, that often brings into relief, their actual use in a way that they can be in denial about as long as it's just kind of this amorphous behavior in their heads. So I really like to start with just asking them in a non judgmental way, you know, how much are you on social media? How many hours a day? What are you doing? The O of dopamine stands for objectives. And this really gets into why why is it that you're doing that drug, or that behavior? What's positive about it for you, because I really do think that even irrational behaviors make some sense, subjectively, and so it's important for us to understand what's driving that individual's behavior. And then the P of dopamine stands for problems, that's when we get into, you know, what's problematic about your use, I understand why you do it, I understand what's good about it, what's problematic about it, and that can range to everything from you know, it's not working anymore. Like it used to do X, Y, and Z for me, and it's not doing those things, too, it costs a lot of money to it's interfering with my relationships work with my ability to do schoolwork, with my health. So there are many, many different reasons that people people will say, often, you know, in the way they do it, that it's, you know, to solve a problem, like anxiety or depression, but it may not be solving that problem anymore.   Arlina Allen  43:13   Sorry. So you get them sort of in touch with specifics. Yeah. So yeah, so you're not asserting pressure? Because I think I used to be a sales grown and sales, they teach you not to pressure people because it viscerally creates resistance. Yeah, right. Right. But when you ask somebody like, what, what problems is it caused? Like, what specifically what caught? What problems? Is it causing for you? They're coming up with their own. Like, I went through that experience to specific consequences that were a problem for me,   Dr Anna Lembke  43:47   right? Yeah, you basically ask them just to be objective and analytical about their own subjective experience. And just kind of, you know, go, Hey, you know, this is what I do. And this is, this is how it makes me feel.   Arlina Allen  44:00   You know, what I love about science when it comes to addiction? Is it kind of depersonalized is that because we experienced so much shame and guilt? And we did terrible? Listen, I did, did some terrible and embarrassing things when I was drinking and using they caused guilt and shame, right? Well, when I started to understand the mechanics of why I fell into the trap in the first place, was sort of depersonalized it a little bit, right and took away some of the guilt and shame. And I love this approach of objective analytical sciency stuff, because it does sort of make it more easier for me to then accept the solution.   Dr Anna Lembke  44:37   Yeah, you realize it's not about your it's not that you're a bad person, it's that it's a bad disease. And these are highly addictive substances and behaviors and they were engineered to hook us, right. The a of dopamine is really the the key intervention and that's where I ask patients to abstain from their drug of choice for 30 days. Why 30 days because that's an amount of time that most people can wrap their head around and I say never drink again. I'm Not going to be very persuasive, but I say, Hey, can you give it up for 30 days, please, I can, I can probably do that. The other thing again is that 30 days is the minimum amount of time it takes for those neural adaptation Gremlins to hop off the pain side of the balance for homeostasis to be restored, which is just another way of saying that's the amount of time it takes for us to up regulate our dopamine receptors and dopamine transmission so that we can widen our lens start to enjoy other things, but also look back and see true cause and effect because when we're chasing dopamine we really don't see the impact that it has on our lives.   Arlina Allen  45:37   It's so we get so blind that's like the denial part, right? Yeah, we lose completely lose perspective.   Dr Anna Lembke  45:43   That's right. The hard thing about getting patients to you know engage in this in this task is that many of them come in feeling bad already, right? They're looking fresh and anxiety and then I'm suggesting to do something that's going to actually make them feel worse and worse. But what I say to them it's kind of like getting you know treatment for cancer it's it's really hard when you're in it, but when you come out the other side of it, it'll it'll be worth it and potentially life saving, saving. Yeah. And then the The M is stands for mindfulness is just a way to sit with feelings, including negative, scary, strange feelings, without judgment and also without reaction without trying to get rid of those feelings. insight of dopamine acronym, just stands for how this this experiment really does give us an enormous amount of insight often into how addicted we really are. Because like I said, we were we will tend to minimize and normalize and you know, in the book, I talk about my my own romance novel reading addiction. So   Unknown Speaker  46:42   funny as all I'm right there with you, girl. Until I like, Oh, yeah, right. As it is embarrassing. my   Arlina Allen  46:48   mic, as   Unknown Speaker  46:49   I know, it is.   Arlina Allen  46:51   My boys are like sparkly vampires. What   Dr Anna Lembke  46:53   is right, right, I know, two additional ways that we are sort of incontinent around our desires is always shame producing. It's interesting. Yeah. But, but you know, this is really again, just a way to gather data, do an experiment, gain insight. And it's an embodied physical experiment, I think that's really key, too, because so much of our mental health interventions are asking patients to sort of just rearrange their thoughts. But this is a really physical thing where you know, you go into withdrawal, you know, when you feel that physically, and it's painful. So kind of asking people to embrace something that's painful in the service of feeling better in the long run. And then N stands for next steps. That's when people come back after a month, if they were able to do it, I say, Okay, do you want to keep abstaining? Or do you want to go back to using and most of them say they want to go back to using what they want to use in moderation? Yeah. And sometimes   Arlina Allen  47:48   disappointing for you to hear, like, does that make you nervous, you know,   Dr Anna Lembke  47:51   sometimes, because sometimes my choice for them really would be absence, and I kind of know that they're not going to be able to moderate. But you know, you got to meet patients where they are. And if I try to railroad them into it, it's not going to work pressure, sometimes they just have to go out and get more data and go through that loop a couple more times. And they're like, you know, what, I think I'm better off abstaining. I that's much more persuasive than if I try to tell them, that's not really gonna work for you. The other thing I would say is I have had patients who surprised me, and actually with enormous effort, were able to abstain sometimes even when they were able to do it, though they said it wasn't worth it, it took too much effort and energy, that it was easier to abstain. But importantly, there are no drugs that we use that we can't abstain from, like food, or like our smartphones so hard. Yeah. Or sex. I mean, I think most of us think of sex as, as a part of, you know, a healthy part of a healthy life. But then that idea of Well, how do we moderate becomes important, I think, for all of us, even for those of us who are trying to abstain from our drug of choice, because, because we're just bombarded by these highly rewarding substances and behaviors. And so we're all we're all challenged with, you know, abstention, and moderation and, and I really think that people in recovery, you know, as I say, in the book, our modern day profits for the rest of us kind of can show us how to live in this token saturated world. So just to finish off, then e of dopamine stands for experiment. That's where people go back out and implement what they've learned now with a pleasure pain pathway that's at the homeostatic level place. You know, so they can go out and have a better chance of being successful with moderation, or abstinence, or whatever it is.   Arlina Allen  49:39   Yeah. Thank you for going through that and being able to remember all the things you were super smart, I would not have been able to do that off the top of my head. A couple of questions came up from as you were going through that. So I just find it like such a paradox that you know, people with these use disorder. have such as high tolerance for pain on one hand like the consequences and on on the other hand we have such an in ability we have like this avoidance of emotional pain right and I just wonder I heard this I was watching this show things totally unrelated But anyway, I was watching the show called meat eater and this guy was talking about how and as a hunter, you know, human beings have something called shifting baseline syndrome. Have you ever heard of that idea? The idea is that as human evolution through human evolution or as societies change, we have good time feast and famine right? And so we have this ability to normalize lower standards of living, right and so in Alcoholics Anonymous that we talk about seeking lower companionship or like this is okay this is okay. Yeah, and so I was like that is so funny. But at the same time when it comes to paint like emotional pain tolerance, it feels like we're living in this really weird worldwide we're experiencing or we're creating all this pain for ourselves because we're you know, you drink in us you spend all your money and you're in all this pain and so what do you do you drink and use more to because you can't tolerate the pain you know, it's just such a weird place to be we have this and I feel like in all fairness that most people have an avoidance of emotional pain what are some of the ways I mean I feel like you know the great thing about a it was like we have community like it's a ready made community to help us get through emotional pain. I shared with you earlier that my mom is ill I just found out last week that she's terminally ill. And I'm not insensitive, and he might be a little bit maybe a little bit numb. But I have found I so I've been 27 years sober. It used to be if I got stood up on a date, I would go on a bender, like I couldn't tolerate it. Now I'm sober a long time. My mom is really sick. And it doesn't even occur to me to use what happened to my brain. From that, you know what I'm saying? It's like, yeah, oh, yeah. Now what happened to my brain?   Dr Anna Lembke  52:17   Well, I mean, your your brain is not any longer in that addiction cycle, your brain is at a homeostatic baseline. And it might even be tipped slightly to the side of pleasure such that you have the mental calluses and the resilience to withstand even enormously painful things like, you know, the potential loss of a loved one. Well, I'm again, I just think that thinking about the balance and the neurophysiology and that what happens when people are in their addiction loop is that they're essentially walking around with a pleasure pain balance tipped chronically to the side of pain, their dopamine transmission is at chronically lower levels. And so there's an enormous physiologic drive, to get their drug and to prioritize that drug over everything else, not to get high, but just to get out of pain and to feel normal. Whereas once you and that also means that even the nearest slight is going to make you feel more pain because you're already in this painful state. And that you know, what we call natural rewards, more modest rewards, food, clothing, shelter, a good conversation with a friend will no longer be adequate, right? Because you've got all these Gremlins camped out on the pain 10 pounds. Now you need a great big bolus of a supercharged potent drug, just to bring you level again. Whereas once you're in recovery, and you start to repair all of that and the Gremlins hop off and you start to upregulate, not just your own endogenous dopamine but also your endocannabinoid system, your endo opioid system, your serotonin or norepinephrine. Now you've got a pleasure pain balance, that's subtle, right? It's homeostatic it's level its sensitive, appropriately to small pleasures. It's sensitive to small pains but resilient enough to you know, quickly restore homeostasis in both directions. And you know, that's that's great. That's exactly where we want to be. Yeah, it   Arlina Allen  54:10   takes takes a lot of work takes a lot it does   Unknown Speaker  54:12   it takes a lot of vigilance and where it's you know, when you when I think about that pleasure, pain balance, it's sometimes I say it's like a teeter totter and a kid's playground, but really, it's more like a piece of plywood on a ball and you're standing on that piece and you're constantly having to move in order to keep in balance it's not a static process it's a really dynamic process that takes constant small adjustments   Arlina Allen  54:37   Yeah, and I'm glad you talked about that you're you know talking about balance and and and we only have a couple minutes and so I did want to touch on the scent. Thank you so much for writing this book. This was so such such an important book for people like me, who need to know why and need to know how and what to do about it right like we can we know ruminate on the problem. All day long, but I need to know what to do. Right? There are practical steps, tangible, practical, understandable, things to do to get better. And the idea is that and you did talk about like we can break our dopamine reward system, but you also said we can heal it. And that is the hope that this will give provides so much hope and like a real concrete, practical way that doesn't require like a you know, religion or you don't have to do like, like, I'm not knocking that at all right? Because I found that to be super helpful, but I don't know I'm a science girl at heart and I need to know why. I write I need to me, to me kind of girl at the end of the day, and at the end of the book on page 231 we're talking about your conclusion, which is the lessons of balance and you know, I've, you know, heard people say I think of balance is sort of a wide path that's not a razor's edge and I just gonna read under read you something that you wrote, you're like I already know. We all desire a respite from the world, a break from the impossible standards we often set for ourselves and others. It's natural that we would seek a reprieve from our own relentless ruminations. Oh, my God, the whole obsessive thinking, why did I do this? Why can't I do that? Look what they did to me? How could I do that to them? And then your question you pose is what if, instead of seeking oblivion by escaping from the world, we turn toward it? That is the challenge, right? That is the challenge is to, you know, Sheryl Sandberg said lean in, right, you know, but it's in the leaning in that, it we, you know, I'm always talking about let's process her resolution, right. And that requires leaning in,   Unknown Speaker  56:55   it does, yeah. And I think, you know, I mean, we're all seeking transcendence, and that loss of self, that non being where we're not ruminating and thinking about ourselves in the world, and, you know, escaping with drugs, or in my case in into fantasy novels, you know, is one way to do that, but not ultimately, a very adaptive way to do that, a better way to do that is actually to do the opposite. And really engage with the people around us with the life that we've been given, immerse ourselves in it. And when we invest in and immerse ourselves in, you know, in our real lives, they do become, you know, transcendental, they do take on a kind of luminous and numinous quality that's really enhancing that releases dopamine, but in a way that is enduring, and healthy. And so yeah, that's, I think, really the antidote to to to addiction, you know, instead of trying to run away, turn around, and immerse yourself in it.   Arlina Allen  57:57   That is the antidote simple, but not easy.   Unknown Speaker  57:59   That's not easy to do. Yeah, well, listen,   Arlina Allen  58:03   at the end of the day, that's why we all need each other. Right? You know, and, and I know from reading the book that you did your own work, and I really appreciated that about you, thank you for sharing those for your transparency and your vulnerability in the book of sharing your own, you know, struggles that you did your own work. So thank you. Thank you so much again, for this time, I'm so honored and and this was such an amazing book and where do people find? Find out more about you?   Unknown Speaker  58:32   Well, the book is available where books are sold, that's probably the best source of finding my work. It's also available on on Audible, as you mentioned, for people who'd rather listen than then read a physical book or a Kindle version. And then there's more about me on on Olympia calm or dopamine nation calm a website that was created for the book.   Arlina Allen  58:56   Listen, thank you so much for idea, tell Andrew I said “Hey”.   Unknown Speaker  59:03   All right. Yeah. Thank you so much.  

The Midlife Sex Coach for Womenâ„¢ Podcast
Ep #59: Stepping into Your Sexual Power

The Midlife Sex Coach for Womenâ„¢ Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2021 20:07


This week, I'm showing you how to step into your sexual power and start asking for what you want in the bedroom from a place of curiosity. Discover how to stop worrying about being judged and start stepping into your sexual power to have the sex life you deserve.     Get full show notes and more information here: https://soniawrightmd.com/59

The Confession Post Podcast
Cavalcade of Sexual Insecurity

The Confession Post Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2021 87:48


To quote the Red Hot Chili Peppers, If you have to ask you'll never know.

Key Frames
100 - Mecha-Skeptical or Mecha-Sexual?

Key Frames

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021 62:19


Episode 100 of Key Frames, a podcast about anime. For our hundredth episode, we've pulled out all the stops! There are dramatic readings, quiz games, and lots of navel-gazing about how our relationship with anime has evolved over six years of podcasting. Experience the thrills of Ben finally watching Revue Starlight, the chills of Jeff managing to work Baki into the conversation yet again, and the spills of Duncan blaming Ben for all the bad shows he's stuck with! You'll even learn some of the podcast's lore, like where the inside joke about Andy and a wedding in Blackpool came from. Above all, you'll get our thanks for listening to our podcast, whether for one episode or one hundred, and our hopes to record a hundred more! The post 100 - Mecha-Skeptical or Mecha-Sexual? first appeared on Key Frames.

The Curious Girl Diaries
Damn, I've Bought Into Sexual Myths!

The Curious Girl Diaries

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021 40:27


I'm debunking some of the most commonly accepted sexual myths. And believe me some of these are so dissapointing. Things you'd always believed were true and factual actually have no proof to back them up! Here's what's being debunked the G-spot, average penis size,clitoral nerve endings vs. the penis, peeing after sex, male refractory period, and an actual study that isolates a gene that makes the non-monogamous become monogamous! Links: https://www.doweknowthings.com/about (https://www.doweknowthings.com/about) Thank you for supporting my affiliates who help keep this show FREE: CBD Sex Oil (I HIGHLY recommend this!) https://www.foriawellness.com/collections/sexual-wellness?irclickid=QMiwT4xL-xyIT2wUaUwrVVf2UkBVpvw27TZV3M0&utm_content=2835234&irgwc=1&utm_medium=Affiliates&utm_source=Impact&utm_campaign=The%20Curious%20Girl%20Diaries- (Click Here For A Bestie Discount!) Taste Vita (Taste better for your partner!) https://tastevitainc.com/?afmc=7d&utm_campaign=7d&utm_source=leaddyno&utm_medium=affiliate (Click Here For A Bestie Discount!)              SEX HACKS from the world's best: https://kennethplay.com/curiousgirl (https://kennethplay.com/curiousgirl) Coupon Code for 30% off Kennth's courses enter: CURIOUSGIRL Support this podcast

Feet to the Fire Politics: Conservative Talk Show
Ep. 140 10.26.21 Loudon County Shows the Failure of Abolishing Christian Patriarchy and Sexual Law

Feet to the Fire Politics: Conservative Talk Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021 14:14


There will always be patriarchy b/c men are the physically dominant gender. The question is: what kind of patriarchy do you want? Loudon assault case shows that abolishing Christian sexual law & roles in name of feminism always dissolves into 1 thing: exploitation of women. Patriarchy is embedded in Gods creation. Abolishing it is as absurd as socialists claim to abolish private property: will never happen. Do you want Christianity that esteems/protects women & restrains mans evil impulse, or sexual revolution & lawless patriarchy that abuses women? Dissolving Christian moral order & sexual ethics in the name of sexual freedom & feminism will always & only lead to objectifying/terrorizing women. B/c sinful man will never be content to restrain his impulse & respect women when the guardrails of Christianity have been removed

Don't Call Us Pretty
Making Money Moves

Don't Call Us Pretty

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021 48:02


The girls explore a day in Nichola's world of Real Estate. Hashing out the differences between locating and Residental Real Estate. Nichola talks about her journey and how shes come to this point in her career of now being a partnering broker and agent for one of the biggest apartment locator companies currently in the DFW area. Listen as she gives her tips and talks about what it takes to get up and start your own venture on a moments notice.

Sex Talk | حكي سكس
القذف الأنثوي

Sex Talk | حكي سكس

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021


هل هو خرافة ام حقيقة؟ استمعوا هنا للجواب!

Series Podcast: This Way Out
This Way Out: Carlson's Disses, Sunny's Wishes, Craig's Kisses & more global LGBTQ news!, Segment 1

Series Podcast: This Way Out

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2021


8-year-old trans girl Sunny swims against the Texas tide, Tucker pouts over Rachel's admiralty and Pete's paternity, James Bond confesses to villainous kisses, Ghana's drastic anti-LGBTQ bill draws drastic reactions, Botswana's government appeals a court's pro-queer sex ruling, the South Korean military appeals a trans rights ruling, and Western Australia's Supreme Court judge emancipates an abused trans teen! Those stories — and more this week — when you discover "This Way Out": the world's audio oasis for queer news and culture.

CASE xChange
Episode 49: Voices from the Field - A Conversation with Rob Henry

CASE xChange

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 18:20


Our guest for this episode is CASE's own Rob Henry, Vice President, Development, Culture, and Talent. Through explaining what diversity, equity, inclusion, and belonging (DEIB) are, Rob highlights their importance to an organisation's values and net income. Listen in to hear how understanding systemic issues and leadership buy-in are key in successfully integrating a DEIB strategy into an organisation's culture. For all DEIB resources referenced in this episode, visit the CASE Opportunity and Inclusion Center.

Unashamed Unafraid
Ep 58: Derek's Story: Climbing Out From Multiple Addictions

Unashamed Unafraid

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 64:00


“Where the hell are you, God?”This is a common question for those in pain and in the depths of struggle and darkness. Finding rock bottom can be a rough journey downward. The positive is that from rock bottom, one can only climb upward. The climb can be very difficult alone and is always easier with help from others.The reason addictions develop is because people are trying to cope with painful wounds - wounds of neglect, wounds of betrayal, wounds of isolation. What starts out as innocently dabbling for relief can quickly spiral out of control and leave one saying “How did I get to this point in my life?” Our turning point is often a powerful, humbling, and vulnerable experience with God, who is there with open arms ready to help. Sometimes, it may take years to reach this turning point. It is only with His help that we can rise above, find sobriety, and become a renewed and different person being able to break the chains of the past.Derek sits down with the Unashamed Unafraid team to share his very personal journey with addictions. He shares insight about his childhood, his early youth, and how certain experiences helped him initially brush the outskirts of addiction before more fully diving in. He speaks of his struggles with various addictions, and how he battled to find sobriety and recovery from each one. This listen is a very authentic and honest review of his life, his experiences, and how he found hope, and a relationship with God that has allowed for a brighter path in his life.If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.  Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Better Sex
200: Sex and Veterans – Asya Brodsky

Better Sex

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 34:18


In this episode, Asya Brodsky gives insight into sexual issues and concerns with veterans. From injuries, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or military sexual trauma (MST), Brodsky explains how these experiences can create all kinds of ramifications in the life of a veteran and how these can affect sexual function and intimacy with a partner.What are the kinds of concerns that are prevalent among veterans?PTSD is still the most common issue among veterans, as well as PTSD due to MST. According to Brodsky, veterans in combat who come back physically whole carry great psychological and emotional repercussions. However, the recovery and rehabilitation process for them are focused on basic means and sexuality is often neglected.What are some of the steps around PTSD and MST? Is this something that the military is taking on?There are multiple campaigns for MST for veterans. These campaigns let them know that there is support out there and that actions are being taken to address their mental health and really look into this seriously.What kinds of things get in the way of veterans seeking help in sexual issues?Brodsky said it's still primarily military culture where soldiers are taught to be tough and disconnected from their emotions to survive. The contradiction is, what helps them in the service, hurts them in civilian life. It's a big deterrent for vets seeking out services also because of the stigma about seeking help for mental issues.What are these people facing coming back from war wounded?If you were injured in combat, likely you have a combination of physical and psychological injury affecting someone's identity and self-concept. Physical injuries have an effect on sexuality and sexual expression. Brodsky is positive, however, that in no time, authorities will recognize sexual issues to be part of the rehabilitation process.What should spouses do?Brodsky gives suggestions on what veteran couples can do, such as therapy. She also underlines the importance of being patient and recognizing that sexuality can change overtime. Military partners should also make themselves aware of PTSD and follow the lead of their partner on whether they feel comfortable talking about their experience.In the end, Brodsky advises veterans to seek help as soon as possible.Biography:Asya Brodsky, LCSW, CADC, CST is a licensed clinical social worker, certified alcohol and drug counselor and certified sex therapist through AASECT. She holds positions as the Women Veterans Program Manager at the Jesse Brown VA Medical Center and maintains her own private sex therapy practice, Speak Chicago Psychotherapy LLC. Asya is a relational psychodynamically-informed psychotherapist, specializing in the areas of sexual functioning and expression and their impact on individual and relational identities and lives. Asya is affiliated with psychoanalytic communities in Chicago and is the co-founder and co-leader of the Chicago Sex Therapist Network.More info:Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/200-sex-and-veterans-asya-brodsky

E-Block Radio
Is Sexual Preference Becoming More Important Than Race?

E-Block Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 81:40


Chime in on today's HOT TOPIC! Is Sexual Orientation Becoming More Important Than Race?UNLOCK THIS FULL EPISODE BY BECOMING A PATRON ON OUR PATREON PAGE!! -- https://www.patreon.com/eblockradio Hosted by Q. Lewis, Monk Money and Angry Man. Produced by Q. Lewis. Follow us on IG: https://www.instagram.com/Q.Lewis313/ https://www.instagram.com/RealMonkMoney/ https://www.instagram.com/eblockradio/ https://www.instagram.com/AngryMan48205/ Apple Podcasts : https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e-block-radio/id464656610?uo=4iHeart Radio : https://www.iheart.com/podcast/256-e-block-radio-43059549/Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/show/2S7n1QwmFxVGrLi2WxBaUuPandora : https://www.pandora.com/podcast/all-episodes/e-block-radio-wake-and-bake-show/PC:28547We are not sponsored by Uncle Nearest…But we love that shit! - https://unclenearest.com/ Pardon My Eastside LLC is a sponsor and official merchandise of the E-Block Radio Podcast Network - https://pardonmyeastside.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Talk Healthy Today
Facing the Darkest Parts of Ourselves In Order to Be Your Authentic Self with Deirdre Maloney.

Talk Healthy Today

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 35:40


Do you have a dark secret that's holding you back from loving yourself? Lisa is joined by Deirdre Maloney, author of Unfold Me: Unfold Layers of Your Wounded Heart and Begin Living Your Dream. After multiple breakdowns while managing bi-polar disorder, four kids, and trying to keep up the visage she had created, Deirdre finally felt the world crashing down on her. The skeletons in her closet were on the attack, and if she didn't deal with her past, it was going to deal with her. Sexual abuse, rape, and underage prostitution are only the beginning of Deirdre Maloney's story. She digs into her darkest secrets to release the relentless thoughts of not being good enough. Unfold Me is a lesson on self-acceptance in the deepest way. Deirdre believes we must face the darkest parts of ourselves to be wholehearted. Walking through the fire of difficult emotions is the only way to move forward. The unfolding of one woman who felt so much shame for the life she lead as a young adult will help you to connect with a side of yourself that will bring you home. Deirdre Maloney is the founder of High Gate Racing, Canada's largest all female competitive cycling team. She raises money for their youth development program and advocates for women in sports. She is also the co-founder of a women's support group in her own community. Deirdre believes in sharing our stories to cultivate more collective healing. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband and children. Read some of her work at www.theunfoldingproject.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wholesome Addiction - We talk porn, erotica & sex with no side of guilt.

The Ken and Charlie of the Sensual South podcast stop by the cast and talk lifestyle and how sexy time works in the South. We are completely excited to have them on the show with us and have rarely met a couple that we respect more than them! Join us for close to two hours of awesome!

The Cory Truax Show
EP275: Men, Video Games, and Time Management / What Does "Squid Game's" Popularity Mean?

The Cory Truax Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2021


On this Episode:-What we can learn from Squid Game's popularity.-Sexual abuse has already rocked many institutions. In the SBC and in public schools, it seems another reckoning is coming.-Demi Lovato is mentally ill.-Men managing their hobbies while still fulfilling their duties.-A Super dishonest NBC headline-MUCH more

Viva La Vulva LA
National Kink Month with Lily Wang (CEOwner of MedAmour) + Giveaway

Viva La Vulva LA

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2021 30:42


Long time, no podcast! Viva La Vulva is back for a new episode talking all about kink. October is National Kink Month and this episode is diving into the definition of kink, ways to explore kink for yourself, and Dr. Cara shares a story about her recent kink experience.  Also in this episode we are kicking off another giveaway. Giveaway starts on October 22 and ends October 28. Good luck! More details on how to enter giveaway by visiting our social media: @vivalavulvaLA and @medamour1  

Live From Love
Episode 183 - Creating Sexual Context

Live From Love

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2021 16:22


It's all about context. We all want to feel emotionally connected to our spouse but are we sabotaging that with what we're thinking about and focusing on? When you're working on the mountain of laundry and your husband starts to help you, do you think, “He's so supportive!” Or do you think, “It's about time!” Context! And sex is all about context. Listen to this episode to find out why and what you need in order to have an amazing sex life!

Will & Woody
⚡️MINI: Amy Explains What A Non-Sexual Sugar Baby Is

Will & Woody

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2021 8:20


TonioTimeDaily
Reclaiming and harnessing our sexual beingness

TonioTimeDaily

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2021 66:44


"Sexual Abuse Survivors and Sex HEALTHYPLACE.COM STAFF WRITER Becoming more comfortable with sex after sexual abuse by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist Many sexual abuse survivors struggle to have positive and enjoyable sex lives. It can be very hard to feel comfortable with and enjoy sex when you've been sexually abused. Even people who haven't been sexually abused struggle to feel comfortable with their sexuality and sex. This article may be helpful to anyone who has issues with sexuality. Many Survivors Are Vulnerable to Further Abuse For many sexual abuse survivors, sex becomes linked with sexual abuse. As a result, some survivors will mistake unsatisfying and unpleasurable sex, or even sexually abusive behavior, for sex. This means that survivors can be vulnerable to being further abused. As a survivor, this is not your fault. You may not know: that you have the right to enjoy yourself sexually; what a mutually satisfying sexual experience is; what you want sexually, and that those needs deserve respect; and that you can say "no" and have that respected. Abuse teaches the opposite - during abuse, your needs don't matter; you have to cater to someone else's sexual needs. Your sexual desires don't exist, and if they do exist they don't count. And of course you have no power to stop the abuse. Some survivors believe that's what sex is - unenjoyable and abusive - or that that is how it is with a man, or with a woman. They may also believe that's all they are good for, that they can't expect anything better, and that if sex isn't enjoyable it's their fault or the result of their own inadequacy - they are "damaged". These reactions and beliefs are outcomes of abuse and need to be challenged - because they are not true. Sexual Abuse Is Not Sex One of the hardest things for abuse survivors to do is separate sexual abuse from sex. I know you may know this intellectually, but it's worth repeating many times - sexual abuse is not sex. Even if you liked the attention, approached your abuser for attention, were aroused, or had an orgasm, it's still not sex and you are not responsible. Placing responsibility on the abuser is one of the most important steps in separating the sexual abuse from your sexuality and sex life. That may involve feeling anger at your abuser, holding him/her responsible (in your own mind), grieving your victimization and powerlessness, and reassuring the hurt child inside you that it wasn't her/his fault." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support

Brains N Beauty x2
EP.121- Sexual Work Attire, T/F, Men's Finances & Dating, make HBCUs better, Green Flags & More

Brains N Beauty x2

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 34:48


Myammee n Shayla discussed the popular restaurant chain, Hooters, and it's decision to change it's uniform and all employees are not happy. Plus, can a man take a woman seriously if he is not financially stable, creating new lanes at HBCUs, green flags when starting romantic relationships, & regulating a man's body instead of a woman's. FIND US ON INSTAGRAM, YOUTUBE, FACEBOOK, CONVOZ, APPLE , SPOTIFY, iHEARTRADIO, ANCHOR & GOOGLE PODCAST as BrainsNBeautyx2  EMAIL US: BrainsNBeautyx2@gmail.com

César Torres
¿Cómo curar la impotencia sexual? Ejercicios...

César Torres

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 11:52


Si quieres mejorar tu potencia sexual, anula el sexo completamente de tu vida y verás como regresa a la normalidad. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Feminine Frequency Podcast
177. An intro to Tantra, Accessing Female Orgasm, & Feeling Empowered in your Sexuality w/ Fanny Broholm

Feminine Frequency Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 37:31


In this episode we talked about: (1:32) What made fanny choose this path (4:46) The script about sex and how long it really takes for the female body to be erect (10:43) How to guide the hero (12:15) When to have the conversation about sex? (15:22) Let's talk about tantra (19:23) Sexual energy, power and how it affects you (23:32) How to start reconnecting with your body (29:00) Where to find fanny "The female body is like a pot of water that slowly needs to heated up to boil and then it can continue to be warm and bubbly and pleasurable" "Tantra can take the sexuality practice from just rubbing your bodies up against each other to actually connecting to something higher and opening up for sexual energy to be transmuted in your body and between each other" Connect with Amy: Embody Your Feminine Workshop 10/25: www.amynatalieco.com/embodyoctober Download your FREE Guided Morning Ritual: https://amynatalieco.com/morningritual/ Join The Empowered Feminine FB Group: www.facebook.com/groups/empoweredfemininecommunity/ Find me on Instagram: @amynatalieco Website: www.amynatalieco.com -------------------- About Fanny Broholm: Fanny is a sex, love and relationship coach from the Tantric institute of integrated sexuality with a focus on female sexuality, tantra and polarity. Trauma informed. Previous politician and group leader for the Green Party in Denmark. Educated from London School of Economics in environmental politics and regulation. Fanny's Links: IG: @fannybroholm https://fannybroholm.com

One Page More!
Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley

One Page More!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 71:20


A little bit Native Girl Nancy Drew, a little bit Breaking Bad, a TON of intrigue, cultural richness, and adrenalin. This YA book tells the story of a girl who gives everything to support her family, her indigenous roots, and is desperately searching for answers in the wake of her best friend's murder. Content Warning for readers: Sexual assault, substance abuse, violence, suicide. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Common Good Podcast
Dr. Mark Yarhouse discusses his book, “Emerging Gender Identities,” Brian and Aubrey share what they wish they had done differently during the pandemic, and they reveal their TOP FIVE Pie Flavors - October 20, 2021

The Common Good Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 53:00


(00:00-9:06): Brian and Aubrey unpacked Thom Rainer's Churchanswers.com blog post, “Five Things Church Leaders Wish They Had Done Differently During the Pandemic.” (9:06-26:09): Dr. Mark Yarhouse, Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College, Director of the Sexual & Gender Identity Institute, and Coauthor of “The Integration of Psychology and Christianity,” joined Brian and Aubrey to talk about his book, “Emerging Gender Identities: Understanding the Diverse Experiences of Today's Youth.”  Learn more about Mark at wheaton.edu/sgi and connect with him on Twitter at @markyarhouse  (26:09-35:21): How can Christians address white supremacy at church? Brian and Aubrey talked about this and discussed Robert P. Jones' Religion News Service article, “7 things white Christians can do to address white supremacy at church.” (35:21-43:34): Brian and Aubrey shared their thoughts on Alicia Akins' Christianity Today article, “The Single Person's Catechism.” (43:34-53:00): Brian and Aubrey shared their TOP FIVE Pie Flavors. Aubrey's #1 pick was Peach Pie and Brian's #1 pick was Cherry Pie.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Small Town Murder
#246 - New Year's Evil - Skamania, Washington

Small Town Murder

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2021 162:09


This week, in Skamania, Washington, where a bloodbath is discovered, in a local home, on New Year's Day. There are several bodies, and several loose ends, including a missing teenager, and a sick grandpa, who is incapable of speech, and can't be relied upon as a witness. The scene is horrific, with the walls, bathed in blood, but the crime scene, and everything else in this case, are handled terribly, possibly because it was literally the Sheriff's first day on the job! Missing evidence, botched tests... So, was it a stranger, or a teen, murdering his whole family & committing necrophillia on his big sister? Either way, there are no good answers here! Along the way, we find out that Washington takes it's timber very seriously, that some people who don't have any friends, also have an awful lot of friends, and your first day on any job shouldn't include finding three dead bodies!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Thursday! Donate at: patreon.com/crimeinsports or go to paypal.com & use our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports! Follow us on...twitter.com/@murdersmallfacebook.com/smalltownpodinstagram.com/smalltownmurder Also, check out James & Jimmie's other show, Crime In Sports! On iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts

TonioTimeDaily
Crucifixion and sexual abuse

TonioTimeDaily

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 57:58


Introduction "The Bible is always read with a context in mind. Assumptions are made about the original social context of the text and these are most often derived—consciously or otherwise— from the current social context of the reader or critic. In recent decades the positive value of recognizing these connections has been advocated by contextual theologies in Latin America and elsewhere. Although some critics have rightly cautioned against temptations to superficially equate contemporary social contexts and the biblical world, those committed to a contextual approach have maintained that, when used appropriately, a serious engagement with current social contexts can offer insights into the biblical context and hence into neglected aspects of the biblical text. One area where I believe that shared similarities between past and present contexts can be most usefully investigated is the political arena of state terror and the use of torture for this end. Latin American military regimes used terror in the 1970s and 1980s to create fear and promote fatalism throughout the whole of society. An understanding of this provides a context to recognize Roman crucifixions as instruments of state terror. Furthermore, Latin American torture practices involved deliberate attempts to shame the victims and undermine their sense of dignity. Physical torture and assaults were often coupled with psychological humiliation in attempts to end the victim's will to resist, or even to live. Sexual assaults and sexual humiliation are a particularly effective way to do this, and are commonplace in torture practices past and present. This article argues that torture practices can offer a deeper understanding of Roman crucifixion as a form of state terror which included sexual abuse. The analysis below draws on Latin American reports, but a similar reading could be offered through attention to torture in many other contexts, including torture and prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib. To raise the question of sexual abuse in relation to Jesus may at first seem inappropriate. However, the Gospel accounts indicate a striking level of public sexual humiliation in the treatment of Jesus, and even this may not disclose the full horror of Jesus' torture before his death. Although this may be a very disturbing suggestion at first, at a theological level, a God who has identified with the victims of sexual abuse can be recognized as a positive challenge for contemporary Christian understanding and response. At a pastoral level, it could help sensitize people to the experiences of those who have suffered sexual abuse and, in some cases, might even become a healing step for the victims themselves." Link: https://ourarchive.otago.ac.nz/bitstream/handle/10523/9834/Tombs%202019%20-%20Crucifixion%20and%20Sexual%20Abuse.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support

Afternoon Drive with John Maytham
Urgent revisions to laws of gender based violence and sexual offenses; the fight for justice

Afternoon Drive with John Maytham

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 5:48


Guest: Claudine Shiels   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Advisory Cervix
EP 3: Finally a Satisfying Sexual Experience with Dr. UC

Advisory Cervix

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 48:45


In this weeks episode, Dr. Heather sits with Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai, also known as, “Petty Texas Labelle”, to discuss how to have a satisfying sexual experience and how to protect our mind, body, and soul with sex. Dr. UC is a first generation Nigerian American, an assistant professor at the University of Texas, and has her Doctorate in Physical Therapy and is a sex certified sexuality counselor. Dr. UC goes over deconstructing societal stereotypes of women of color and relearning how we think about sex and our own individual sexuality, identity, and needs. In this episode Dr. Heather discusses: * How to let go of what we've internalized within society when it comes to sex. * Learning about the different experiences and pressure each first generation American struggles with growing up. * The importance of comprehensive sex education and understanding sexuality Follow Dr. Uchenna “UC” Ossai @youseelogic www.youseelogic.com Dr. Heather's Social Media: IG: @advisorycervixpod IG: @drheatherirobundamd Tik Tok: drheatherirobundamd Website: www.irobundamd.com #drheathershealth #AdvisoryCervix Dr. Heather's Merch: https://dr-heathers-merch-store.myshopify.com

Capital FM
Janet Mbugua discusses SGBV within the family with her guests | Your Voice Matters EP 10

Capital FM

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 67:44


Janet Mbugua discusses Sexual and Gender-Based violence with guests; Jean Paul, Nyce Wanjeri, Mary Makokha, and Mariga Thoithi.

Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie
125. Why You Need a Sexual Buffet

Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 17:40


Let's be honest... long-term relationships can get monotonous and boring, especially when it comes to sex. If you're ready to refresh your relationship and get back to enjoying physical intimacy, don't miss this episode. I'm covering why you need a sexual buffet and how you can build one in your relationship. Get ready to have options other than just what you think "sex" is supposed to be.

El Show De Chiquibaby
Canelo es un Mujeriego, Marjorie De Sousa regresa a tribunales, Mala Noticia para Ninel Conde, La Tesorito llama depravado sexual a Lalo Mora, Nuevo Problema de Salud, Compra tus regalos de navidad Ya!!!

El Show De Chiquibaby

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 64:32


BAJA NUESTRO APP EL SHOW DE CHIQUIBABY PARA IPHONE: https://apple.co/32s0aYN PARA ANDROID: https://bit.ly/2ZAwR4q COMUNICATE DIRECTO CON NOSOTROS VIA WHATSAPP EN USA +1-323-690-3557 TELEFONO = 323-988-3868 info@chiquibaby.com http://survey.libsyn.com/chiquibaby

Critically Speaking
130 Science and Sexual Assault

Critically Speaking

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2021 41:18


Sexual assaults of women, men, and children are always in the news. We know a lot about this when it comes to little children, but for adults, especially women, what constitutes a sexual assault? Lack of consent, forced intimate relations? How does one prove an assault took place? Often the information provided by medical forensic experts is brought to bear on these cases. Today's guest, Dr. Felice Gersh, is not only a distinguished OBGYN and Integrative Medicine Specialist, but she often serves as an expert witness when medical forensics are required to clarify if or what type of sexual assault took place. This is an important, interesting, and sometimes very fuzzy topic. In today's episode, Therese Markow and Dr. Gersh discuss this process and the challenges of sexual assault cases.    Key Takeaways: When reporting acute sexual assaults, there are special nurses in the hospital called SANE nurses, sexual assault nurse examiners, that will do a detailed forensic examination on the victim. These exams are standardized nationally. In the courtroom, you speak about genitalia as the body parts they are. It makes everyone feel more comfortable when you speak of things anatomically rather than treating them as hush hush.  As a forensic medical expert, it is important to report the facts and what can or cannot be possible, not to decide if someone is innocent or guilty.    "My job [as a medical forensic expert] is really an educator. My job is to review the evidence, then explain everything in as clear, plain, and understandable language as I can to a jury so that they will understand what the evidence really means." —  Dr. Felice Gersh   Connect with Dr. Felice Gersh: Professional Bio: https://integrativemgi.com/about-dr-felice-gersh/  Website: https://integrativemgi.com/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrFeliceGersh  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IntegrativeMGI/  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/felice-gersh-md-b0422b13/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.felicegersh/  Book: PCOS SOS: A Gynecologist's Lifeline To Naturally Restore Your Rhythms, Hormones, and Happiness https://www.amazon.com/Pcos-SOS-Gynecologists-Naturally-Happiness/dp/1911443119/    Connect with Therese: Website:   www.criticallyspeaking.net Twitter: @CritiSpeak Email: theresemarkow@criticallyspeaking.net     Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.  

HELL HAS AN EXIT Podcast with Bryan Alzate
Ep 53: I Been to Prison for Murder, So I'm Gona Need an “A” in This Class ft. Berta R.

HELL HAS AN EXIT Podcast with Bryan Alzate

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 46:53


On this week's episode of Hell Has an Exit Bryan invites Berta R. to tell one of the most potentially shocking and horrifying stories on the podcast so far.  Listen to this incredible episode and take this unbelievable journey to hell and back involving the following: ◦Being kidnapped at 4 yrs old  ◦Forced to take IV Drugs to perform as a sex slave ◦Being bagged and thrown into the Miami River in a potato sack  ◦Returning home & being sexually abused by her brother  ◦Not being permitted to talk about being kidnapped at home ◦Encountering her captive years later & catching an attempted murder charge ◦Miami Drug Cartels  ◦Becoming a millionaire  ◦Sexual assault & false accusations ◦Solitary confinement ◦25 years clean & relapsing ◦Addicted and homeless  ◦College degrees, & helping others ◦The 12 steps, therapy & a new life Watch the full video interview available on Youtube. Audio podcast available on all platforms  Link in Bio. For more information, please visit unitedrecoveryproject.com or call  tel: 833-999-1877 Follow on Instagram & Twitter @hellhasanexit @united_recovery @dbpodcasts Produced by dppodcast.com Music by Miles M. Davis.

RAD Radio
10.19.21 RAD 04 Dr. Rob - Asking For A Raise & My Girlfriend Has Lost Sexual Interest

RAD Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 23:58


Dr. Rob - Asking For A Raise & My Girlfriend Has Lost Sexual InterestSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Cory Truax Show
EP275: Men, Video Games, and Time Management / What Does "Squid Game's" Popularity Mean? / Abuse Reckoning Is Coming for Several Institutions

The Cory Truax Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 50:10


On this Episode: -What we can learn from Squid Game's popularity. -Sexual abuse has already rocked many institutions. In the SBC and in public schools, it seems another reckoning is coming. -Demi Lovato is mentally ill. -Men managing their hobbies while still fulfilling their duties. -A Super dishonest NBC headline -MUCH more --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/corytruax/support

THE ED MYLETT SHOW
Protecting Ourselves From Predators w/ Chris Hansen

THE ED MYLETT SHOW

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 54:12


How do you distinguish between good people in your life and predatory or bad people? I'm talking about in every area of your life. This week's guest, Chris Hansen, strikes an incredibly emotional chord with me. You may or may not know that right after I got out of college, the first place I worked at was in a group home for abused and neglected boys. The time I spent with those boys had a PROFOUND effect on me, and as a result, I'm FIERCELY PROTECTIVE when it comes to SAFEGUARDING CHILDREN against all kinds of hurtful behaviors they may encounter. Chris is an eight-time EMMY AWARD-WINNING veteran investigative reporter, best known for his Dateline NBC segments, TO CATCH A PREDATOR. He has also hosted several other criminal investigations shows and currently produces a podcast and content on a YouTube channel that draws huge audiences each week. Sexual abuse of minors is particularly evil, and it happens far too often. That's why it's essential to listen to what Chris has to say. In fact, I believe Chris is the single MOST QUALIFIED PERSON there is to speak about dealing with sexual predators and steps you can take to PROTECT yourself and your children from these types of people. In addition to talking about his work on To Catch a Predator, Chris and I spend a lot of time on PRACTICAL AND VALUABLE INFORMATION you need to know about different types of predators. We get into how to spot an online predator, whether you're a parent, a teen, or a young single adult engaging in chat rooms and DATING apps. How about in business? How do you know if someone's got your best interest in mind or if they are setting you up for some predatory behavior to take advantage of you? Chris also goes into detail about what GROOMING is and how widespread it is in the online world. We cover the first steps a predator will take, recognizing this behavior and stopping it before it leads to other dangerous predatory practices. REMEMBER THIS. PREDATORS ALWAYS PURSUE THE MOST VULNERABLE TARGETS. As Chris explains, you must PROTECT your children and others by having AGE-APPROPRIATE DISCUSSIONS, DRAWING BOUNDARIES, and CREATING SAFER MEET-UPS especially when using dating apps. Online grooming extends to financial predators as well. Chris and I have both seen it many times. Stealing and bleeding money from vulnerable people online is a lot more prevalent than you might think, especially for older people. This isn't always an easy subject to talk about, but through his work, Chris Hansen continues to RAISE AWARENESS and keep it in the public's eye. It's IMPORTANT to listen this week and hear what Chris has to say.

Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Podcast Archive
The High Cost of Cheap Sexual Validation || Room for Two Teaser!

Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Podcast Archive

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 21:55


Tiffany has never been able to orgasm and is having difficulty trusting her husband. Riley has been sexually compulsive from adolescence and induces anxiety in his wife through his untrustworthy sexual behavior. Listen as Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps Riley confront the fact that he is using his behavior to keep control of his wife's validation, and how his framing of porn addiction misses the mark and interferes with him truly changing his behavior. To subscribe go to the Room for Two Webpage!

Don't Call Us Pretty
Pivoting with Paul

Don't Call Us Pretty

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 52:39


This week the girls sit down with the man behind the mic- producer Paul! He shares his story on how he pivoted his music career into something that helps individuals and businesses grow in the media content platform.

Series Podcast: This Way Out
This Way Out: Queer Music Focus - 2021's Flip Side + global LGBTQ news!, Segment 1

Series Podcast: This Way Out

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021


Recent releases get the "Queer Music Focus"; binational gay dads win their toddler son's Namibian citizenship, Uganda recognizes its first official gender change, a booted South Korean trans woman soldier is reinstated posthumously, a Japanese trans man sues for recognition without surgery, the Texas House bans trans student athletes, COVID confines Sydney's Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras again, and the next generation Superman gets a super boyfriend! All that — and more this week — when you choose "This Way Out": the world's audio oasis for queer news and culture.

Business Innovators Radio
199: Cross Dressing – Dr. Carol Clark

Business Innovators Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 37:14


In this fascinating episode, board certified sex therapist and addictions counselor Dr. Carol Clark helps us demystify the concept of cross dressing and take away the stigma and shame commonly associated with it. If you or someone you know is a cross dresser, the insights from this episode will surely help in getting accurate information out there and prepare people to receive somebody who might reveal that they're crossdresser and validate that.Is there an intersection of cross dressing and gender and how do we define it?In general, cross dressing is defined as wearing the clothes that are normally associated with the other sex or gender. It has gender implications as far as how we present it such as when a person identifies with one gender but presents as another and, in so doing, feeling like another gender. All of that is separate from sexual orientation, which is who you are attracted to.Is cross dressing the beginning of somebody identifying as transgender?It may or may not be. Dr. Clark emphasizes that cross dressing is a form of expression for various reasons. It is important to distinguish different reasons, particularly in therapy, to know what brought the person to therapy. We have to ask the cross dressers what's the allure of that, what's their motivation, etc.How much are cross dresser suspected of being gay?Generally, cross dressers are heterosexual men wearing women clothing for various reasons. It is always important to ask and not jump to any conclusions. We have to fix society to have a better understanding of cross dressing so a person can just dress up however way they want without the judgment.What should a partner do?It is important to reassure partners of cross dressers that it is not about them, and it is not their fault. Partners should have a deeper communication and try to get to know each other again. Just like in any marriage or partnership, it will come down to some compromises and making some adjustments in the relationship to make it work.When should a cross dresser tell their partner and/or their children?There are no “shoulds” but ideally you want your partner to know before starting the relationship. As in any case, revealing a big secret can be very traumatic to the other person and can be felt as betrayal. Keeping it a secret will not make it stop or go away.Understanding cross dressingThese days where there are so many different ways of identifying your gender, cross dressers aren't calling themselves as such and try to avoid calling themselves anything. For them, it is a way of life. For therapists, and for our friends and family, it all boils down to asking questions like, “Why are you showing up in my office? What's your issue? How is cross dressing a problem for you? What is the meaning of this for you”Biography:Dr. Carol Clark is a board certified in sex therapy and addictions and is the president, founder, and senior instructor for the International Institute of Clinical Sexology and the Therapist Certification Association.From prisoners to celebrities, businessmen to artists, Dr. Clark's work has helped individuals from a multitude of backgrounds to find a better life. She employs a variety of interventions to effectively assist those seeking personal growth and an improved sense of well-being in their lives. By using the concepts in her book, Addict America: The Lost Connection and My Pocket Therapist: 12 Tools for Living in Connection, she facilitates the healing that allows full intimacy and Connection.In conjunction with her educational and professional development, her spiritual journey has evolved to an emotional and intellectual awareness of addiction as a condition that permeates all aspects of people's lives.Find her on Facebook & Instagram @DrCarolClark.You can also check out The International Institute of Clinical Sexology on Facebook @sextherapyphd and on Instagram @iics.phd.More info:Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/199-cross-dressing-dr-carol-clark

Better Sex
199: Cross Dressing – Dr. Carol Clark

Better Sex

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 37:14


In this fascinating episode, board certified sex therapist and addictions counselor Dr. Carol Clark helps us demystify the concept of cross dressing and take away the stigma and shame commonly associated with it. If you or someone you know is a cross dresser, the insights from this episode will surely help in getting accurate information out there and prepare people to receive somebody who might reveal that they're crossdresser and validate that.Is there an intersection of cross dressing and gender and how do we define it?In general, cross dressing is defined as wearing the clothes that are normally associated with the other sex or gender. It has gender implications as far as how we present it such as when a person identifies with one gender but presents as another and, in so doing, feeling like another gender. All of that is separate from sexual orientation, which is who you are attracted to.Is cross dressing the beginning of somebody identifying as transgender?It may or may not be. Dr. Clark emphasizes that cross dressing is a form of expression for various reasons. It is important to distinguish different reasons, particularly in therapy, to know what brought the person to therapy. We have to ask the cross dressers what's the allure of that, what's their motivation, etc.How much are cross dresser suspected of being gay?Generally, cross dressers are heterosexual men wearing women clothing for various reasons. It is always important to ask and not jump to any conclusions. We have to fix society to have a better understanding of cross dressing so a person can just dress up however way they want without the judgment.What should a partner do?It is important to reassure partners of cross dressers that it is not about them, and it is not their fault. Partners should have a deeper communication and try to get to know each other again. Just like in any marriage or partnership, it will come down to some compromises and making some adjustments in the relationship to make it work.When should a cross dresser tell their partner and/or their children?There are no “shoulds” but ideally you want your partner to know before starting the relationship. As in any case, revealing a big secret can be very traumatic to the other person and can be felt as betrayal. Keeping it a secret will not make it stop or go away.Understanding cross dressingThese days where there are so many different ways of identifying your gender, cross dressers aren't calling themselves as such and try to avoid calling themselves anything. For them, it is a way of life. For therapists, and for our friends and family, it all boils down to asking questions like, “Why are you showing up in my office? What's your issue? How is cross dressing a problem for you? What is the meaning of this for you”Biography:Dr. Carol Clark is a board certified in sex therapy and addictions and is the president, founder, and senior instructor for the International Institute of Clinical Sexology and the Therapist Certification Association.From prisoners to celebrities, businessmen to artists, Dr. Clark's work has helped individuals from a multitude of backgrounds to find a better life. She employs a variety of interventions to effectively assist those seeking personal growth and an improved sense of well-being in their lives. By using the concepts in her book, Addict America: The Lost Connection and My Pocket Therapist: 12 Tools for Living in Connection, she facilitates the healing that allows full intimacy and Connection.In conjunction with her educational and professional development, her spiritual journey has evolved to an emotional and intellectual awareness of addiction as a condition that permeates all aspects of people's lives.Find her on Facebook & Instagram @DrCarolClark.You can also check out The International Institute of Clinical Sexology on Facebook @sextherapyphd and on Instagram @iics.phd.More info:Sex Health Quiz – https://www.sexhealthquiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: How to want more sex without it feeling like a chore: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Source: https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/199-cross-dressing-dr-carol-clark

Health Hacks With Mark L White
Sexual Security ft. Dr. Kathryn Retzler

Health Hacks With Mark L White

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 33:19


It's a fact of life that as you age physical changes impact your performance in the bedroom. You may think about sex less often and not get as turned on as you did when you were younger. Your erections may not be as firm or you might experience erectile dysfunction. The good news is that sexual security IS possible as you age. In Dr. Retzler's well researched new book you will learn the most common contributing factors to poor health and the tools needed to improve your mental and physical health and ultimately your sexual performance. About Our Guest: The purpose of my life is to inspire millions of people to achieve vibrant health and longevity and to help prevent as many cases of premature death as possible. I believe every person has a unique path to vibrant health, and that optimal aging and healthy brain function are possible for everyone. I believe the more people I influence, the more precious, quality time they'll have to fulfill their purpose and to experience the joys and blessings of the world. I believe many people settle for a negative definition of aging. I do not accept that aging means falling apart on schedule. I have a high standard for my physical, mental, and spiritual health, improving every year. I hold the same vision for my patients. The tools I use to fulfill my purpose include sharing knowledge, providing authentic leadership, offering successful treatments, and continually improving my skills and education. I am grateful for my work, and committed to fulfilling my purpose.

Scar Bearers
#76: How to stay true to yourself with Olivia Tanski!

Scar Bearers

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 45:59


Olivia Tanski is a survivor of sexual abuse, an eating disorder, panic attacks, religious trauma, and more. She currently can be found life coaching, studying for her Bachelor's in Behavioral Science, or writing her upcoming book! Care warning: Sexual abuse and trauma are discussed in this episode. Her contact information: https://www.instagram.com/olivia_tanski/ My contact information: @chrisdtgordon chrisdtgordon.com chris@chrisdtgordon Theme music and post-production: @nateberan

The Girl Defined Show
Freedom from Porn & Sexual Struggles for Women with Joy Skarka

The Girl Defined Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 42:30


Sexual struggles are often portrayed as a "guy only" issue. This is a major disservice to women.  God created both men and women as sexual beings. One is not more sexual than the other. Both struggle with sexual temptation and addiction. Both need the help and hope of the gospel. In today's conversation, Joy Skarka shares her story of date rape in college and how the pain from that experience led her into sexual struggles of her own. Her story is one of healing, freedom and victory. If you desire hope for your own sexuality, this episode is for you. Not Part of the Plan Book Sex, Purity and the Longings of a Girls Heart Book Connect with Joy Freedom From Porn for Women e-book Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/girldefined)

Conversations with Cristie
Lessons Learned from Working with Victims of Sexual and Domestic Violence

Conversations with Cristie

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 43:44


This episode is prompted by two things: my binge-watching of Maid, a Netflix show that takes a look at the nuances of domestic violence, and the recent Gabby Petito case. There are so many misconceptions and misunderstandings around domestic violence, and it's always puzzling to me how many men and women don't know what a healthy relationship looks like.  It's just me today, talking about my thoughts and what I've seen during my professional career as a trauma therapist working with survivors of sexual violence and domestic violence. Join me for a look at this important topic. Show Highlights: The four stages of the cycle of domestic violence: Tension-building stage (a time of “walking on eggshells”) Explosive stage (can be physical or intense controlling behavior) Honeymoon stage (a time of reconciliation and usually blaming the victim for the behavior) Calm and normal stage (things seem like they are better, and the violence was a one-time occurrence)      **The problem is that the cycle usually repeats itself, and there is no timeline for each stage. Why there is a common misconception that domestic violence happens to a certain “type” of person How domestic violence isn't so much about anger and abuse as it is about control--most often men controlling women Why domestic violence is sometimes difficult to spot in the beginning as someone exerts control over your time, finances, and friends--and slowly shrinks your life Why anger management is NOT the issue--and anger management classes are NOT the solution How deep trauma and attachment issues can lead to dysfunction in relationships Why partners often sympathize with their abusers because of their past, and they give them chance after chance How a domestic violence situation is complicated when kids are involved Resources are available: emergency shelters, counseling, court advocates, and therapeutic programs for adults and kids What you can do: If someone you know needs help, be supportive and help them find resources. If you are in a domestic violence situation, find resources and support. If you haven't encountered domestic violence in your relationship, be aware of red flags, like “love bombs,” a partner trying to keep you all to himself, or blaming you for all problems in the relationship.  Resources: Connect with Cristie: Parenting Courses:  www.wonderincwellness.com    Email: critzking@wonderincwellness.com   

Blessed Hope Chapel
They Are Coming For Your Children

Blessed Hope Chapel

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2021 72:49


This Sunday morning pastor Joe gives a presentation on the Sexual agenda and how it relates to family The post They Are Coming For Your Children appeared first on Blessed Hope Chapel Church – Simi Valley, CA.

The Porn Reboot Podcast
The Porn Reboot Podcast Episode 311: How To Interpret Strong Sexual Feelings

The Porn Reboot Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2021 11:04


Resources: Website: https://bit.ly/3iTrTHQ Apply for a Free Call: https://bit.ly/3gCemT1 Free Ebook: https://bit.ly/2Zc6jGy The Porn Reboot Private Facebook Group: https://bit.ly/3ectwwL 7 Secrets of Porn Free Men: https://bit.ly/3gGxdfO Porn Addiction Quiz: https://bit.ly/3fdudXU Your Best Year Ever: https://bit.ly/3ef36KP 10 SuperPowers you Gain When You Quit Porn: https://bit.ly/2Zfln68 Free Course: 20 Ways To Quit Porn: https://bit.ly/2CiCGKH Schedule a free Biochemistry Reboot Consult here: https://calendly.com/rebootstrategists/biochemistry

Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Why Modern Men Become Simps (Failed Dating Strategy or Sexual Kink?)

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 54:22


Matt and Steve sit down to talk about why so many men are now accused of being "simps". We discuss: - What ACTUALLY makes a guy a "simp" - How we should feel about men who do it - What causes unhealthy fandom and hero worship --- Follow Matt @thematthewhussey Follow Stephen @stephenhhussey --- Email us your thoughts at podcast@matthewhussey.com --- Don't waste time & energy. Find love Faster: Download Your Free Guide to Learn the 3 Love Habits... → http://www.3LoveHabits.com  

Small Town Murder
#245 - I See Dead People - Indialantic, Florida

Small Town Murder

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2021 175:47


This week, in Indialantic, Florida, two successful, and seemingly happy couples enjoy life & love. This doesn't last long, though, as problems, affairs, and tempers flare up & cause many problems, including an absolutely horrific & violent murder, that freaks this upscale area right out. But who did it? The Ex? A new lover? A stranger? A friend, who sees the death, through psychic visions & leads their family to the location of the body? It's a mess, with changing stories, many motives, and ridiculous excuses!! Along the way, we find out that a lot of murder happens in Florida, that seizures usually don't cause psychic visions, and that leading people to a body disposal site makes you look super guilty!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Thursday! Donate at: patreon.com/crimeinsports or go to paypal.com & use our email: crimeinsports@gmail.com Go to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder & Crime In Sports! Follow us on...twitter.com/@murdersmallfacebook.com/smalltownpodinstagram.com/smalltownmurder Also, check out James & Jimmie's other show, Crime In Sports! On iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts