Our Weekly Chat

Cindy and Scott - along with special guests Chelsea and Matt - discuss the joys and challenges of traveling with friends. 

Cindy and Scott discuss key practices to finding joy and meaning during more trying stages of life. Cutting out unnecessary stressors and being intentional about including joy-building activities can help life return to a better balance.

Scott and Cindy discuss the potential relationship pitfall of taking your family's side over your spouse's. It's important to establish firm boundaries early on so the relationship is secure and all involved parties can get on the same page.

Cindy and Scott discuss some of the challenges presented by trying to give teenage kids what they need while also protecting the marriage relationship and individual needs. Boundaries are essential.

Cindy and Scott discuss ways to recognize and resolve hidden resentment before it turns into a blowup. Spoiler alert: open communication helps.

Cindy and Scott discuss the difference between fairness and equality, with specific reference to how we treat our kids. As always, communication is key to make sure our kids understand we have their best interests at heart.

Cindy and Scott discuss the importance of implementing consequences that are based on love and teaching our kids helpful lessons. Arbitrary consequences based on frustration are seldom, if ever, helpful.

We don't always share the same passions as the people we love. Instead of assuming their goals and projects are unimportant or frivolous, we can create an open dialogue to foster understanding. 

Cindy and Scott discuss life situations that force us to give up or rise to the occasion. Several factors should be considered to make sure we aren't giving up for the wrong reasons. 

Scott and Cindy discuss concerns about their kids' occasional failure to show proper respect, for authority figures as well as for sacred times or spaces. Possible solutions include modeling proper behavior and utilizing strategic compromise.

Scott and Cindy discuss Glennon Doyle's latest book, Untamed. Living an authentic life requires making sacrifices and going against the grain, but the rewards are worth the effort. 

Scott and Cindy discuss the importance of finding a middle ground to ensure both partners get what they need. If we shut down when the situation feels uncomfortable, we're placing the whole burden on our partners.

Cindy and Scott take turns posing each other questions about their relationship, from dating life to the present. Meaningful conversations and unexpected questions build the relationship while keeping things fresh.

Scott and Cindy discuss how they can more effectively communicate when they discover each other's potentially bothersome habits. Reframing the situation into a team dynamic can help decrease conflict and foster cooperation.

Scott asks Cindy to share some tips on how he can interact more effectively with the kids when he's home from work. As it turns out, many problems may solve themselves if you know when to keep your mouth shut! 

Scott and Cindy share some of their homeschooling experiences, successes, and failures!

Scott and Cindy discuss principles learned from the book Extreme Ownership, written by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. If we can learn to take responsibility for our part in problems, we will model that behavior to our team--including our kids--and create a more functional, successful organization.

Scott and Cindy discuss the inevitability of arguments within a relationship and how to avoid falling into toxic habits within these arguments. Depending on the nature of the disagreement, solutions may come in the form of rules, systems, or compromise.

Cindy and Scott discuss points from the book "Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child's Emotions and Solving Family Problems." Their conversation largely centers around the importance of praising our children and how to do it effectively.

Cindy and Scott discuss the family contract they set up a few months ago, including both successes and challenges that have come up as a result. Regardless of the exact outcome, setting goals and following up gives endless learning opportunities.

Cindy and Scott discuss the unavoidable emotional rollercoaster that accompanies parenting, along with some ideas of how to recognize and process emotions that may be clogging up our emotional pipes.

Scott and Cindy discuss factors leading to stress around the Holidays, as well as strategies that have helped make things more manageable in their home at year's end.

Cindy and Scott discuss pieces of conventional wisdom--some more useful than others--that have been shared with them over the years. 

Have you ever found your partner's apology to be a bit lacking? Or given a lackluster apology yourself? Scott and Cindy discuss the elements of a true apology and how to use these tools to strengthen your relationships.

Cindy and Scott discuss the ubiquitous yet counterproductive "fake it till you make it" strategy of getting through life. Feelings need to be felt, sooner or later.

Cindy introduces a favorite book on parenting teenagers. She and Scott discuss how being a teenager is different today compared to when they were growing up, as well as how we can love and support our teenagers more effectively.

Cindy and Scott discuss the importance of keeping our ultimate goal in mind--building unity and love--when bringing up criticism with friends, family, or coworkers.

Scott and Cindy discuss how to overcome anxiety by envisioning the worst-case scenario. Naming the thing you are afraid of often makes it less scary.

Scott and Cindy discuss the balance between supporting each other's dreams and staying grounded in reality. As always, open communication and focusing on what matters most are keys to success.

Cindy and Scott discuss why people have a tendency to judge each other and how we can recognize and modify our own habits of judgment.

Cindy and Scott discuss keys to remaining flexible as individuals and within a relationship to create resiliency. Setting reasonable expectations is crucial.

Cindy and Scott discuss the power of family traditions, from weekly meal schedules to holidays and trips. Uniqueness and shared experience are key to making these traditions special and using them to promote family unity.

Scott and Cindy discuss how their family has worked toward overcoming several recent inefficiencies by drafting a family contract. They point to firm, clear boundaries and group discussion as keys to promoting buy-in from the kids.

Cindy and Scott discuss how easy it is to feel judged as parents. Learning to base our sense of parenting success on factors within our control is key to maintaining hope and avoiding frustration.

Scott and Cindy review points from some of their favorite Season 1 episodes, including both successes and goals that still need some work.

Do you ever feel overworked, underappreciated, or like you just can't say no? Then this book club is for you! Scott and Cindy discuss the book 'Essentialism' by Greg Mckeown, giving their takeaways and an overview of what essentialism is and how it could work in your life.

Cindy and Scott discuss the challenges of up-leveling their parenting with teenagers in the house!

Cindy and Scott consider points from the book, Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix. Specifically, the discussion focuses on building a purposeful, intentional relationship that fulfills the needs of both partners.

Scott and Cindy discuss tools they've used in the past, and then bring up some new ideas for teaching their kids practical skills regarding finances.

Talking with kids about sex and intimacy isn't always easy. Scott and Cindy give examples of challenges and solutions in their own family, as well as resources that can help you improve these conversations in your own family.  

Scott and Cindy discuss sex and intimacy: the messages we receive as youth, the issues that come up in marriage, and the tools they use to continue building a healthy relationship. 

Scott and Cindy discuss The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin and how it changed their marriage for the better.

Cindy and Scott discuss beginning a marriage with two totally different ideas about money. They give resources and ideas for adjusting your budget as your finances change.

Cindy and Scott discuss the patterns they set up early in their marriage and how they didn't set them up to have equal stewardship as life become more complicated.

Do you have bad habits that you'd like to get rid of and good habits you'd like to start? Scott and Cindy discuss the research and tools presented in The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. 

Scott and Cindy discuss the difficulty of parenting when consequences don't seem to work. What do you do when you're caught in a spiral of stubbornness? How should parenting change as children grow?

Scott and Cindy discuss how chronic struggle changes us and allows us to have more compassion for others. How can we be better listeners and is there a way to view our own issues differently?

In times of stress, or even in normal life, where do we find the balance between taking care of ourselves and making sure that we show up for others? Are we using self-care to make ourselves truly happy or is it simply a distraction?

Scott brings up the fact that the Gunderson kids are way too quick to throw each other under the bus. Why is this happening and is there something we, as parents, can do to help?

Scott realizes that much of his self-worth is tied up in his ability to earn money for the family. In the face of his underemployment during COVID-19, he and Cindy discuss ways that he can reframe and create resiliancy. 

Cindy has been struggling with responding kindly in annoying situations (read: kids). Changing thoughts, feelings, and actions are the subject of our discussion in this episode.