Podcast appearances and mentions of Harville Hendrix

In Part 1 of her Listening to Yourself series, Lesley Logan unpacks what intuition actually is and why so many of us struggle to hear it. Drawing on personal stories and current research, she explores how subconscious pattern recognition, past experiences, and inner calm shape the way our gut speaks to us. She also names the noise that drowns it out: fear, trauma, social pressure, and over-reliance on logic. This episode is a grounded reset for anyone who's lost trust in their inner voice. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What intuition actually is, and the science of subconscious pattern recognition.The reason a gut feeling can seem illogical now but make sense later.Three books that explain fear, trauma, and your inner voice.Ways fear, anxiety, and past trauma quietly disguise themselves as intuition.The difference between calm intuition and loud, urgent fear.Episode References/Links:Quora: Why Is It So Hard to Trust Intuition - https://share.google/xCow6Q7yTdKUQMPkoMedium: What Intuition Really Is and Isn't - https://share.google/DBWNMS5g6vafDOAejIPC: What Exactly Is Intuition - https://share.google/eH2S0zlOENreq2AsVPsychology Today - https://share.google/gDyxkjMpOgu31QO75The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker - https://a.co/d/03NEtJNIWhat Happened to You by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey - https://a.co/d/0aOdhLkoGetting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix - https://a.co/d/07Ct9mnJCatch and Kill by Ronan Farrow - https://a.co/d/0aEu2NNzMoonBrew - https://moonbrew.co/lesleylogan20Submit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition, meaning it can be biased or inaccurate. New situations, additionally high stress, societal pressure and logical over-analytical thinking, often drown out inner quiet knowing. Lesley Logan 0:19  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:01  All right, Be It babe. Hi. We're gonna have a really fun series for you, two episodes. I know, isn't it fun? I certainly hope so. So if you're new to the Be It pod. Normally, in the past, we always had an interview on Tuesdays and a recap on Thursdays. And after five years of doing that, I talked to so many people, I've had so many requests on topics that sometimes it's hard just find a guest who wants to talk about that for like, 20 minutes, right? And so I thought it'd be fun to take some of the topics that you guys have been requesting and then do some deep dive research myself, share them with you, and then we can have other guests come on after that that kind of dovetail into that topic. And so we have a great episode coming out next week, that's all about listening to your body and what it's telling you and healing yourself. And so that led me to going, like, can everyone listen to their intuition? Like, do we all have it? Is it easy to listen to yourself? And so I don't know, let's, let's talk about it, right? I think, as someone who's an Aquarius, who's in her head all the time, I was like, is it, is talking to myself as an Aquarius with ADHD in my head all the time, the same as intuition? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized, like, I don't think so. I think that's just like self-talk. But what we'll see, what the research says in just a second. But I will also say, like, I can think of certain times where, like, there was a very clear voice that came through in my life about what I should be doing next. And I remember going, that is such a weird thing to hear or say or think, and so that's why I feel like it's not the same as, like just talking to yourself. I think there's like a clear voice that cuts through and it's like, hey, hold on. Pay attention to this. I'll tell you a couple of them. Lesley Logan 2:38  One, the voice that I heard in my head when I was in a Pilates class, and this had been in 2007, I did Pilates for a couple of years at that point, and I was, like, it was probably around April or May of 2007 and because I moved into a couple months later. So actually, no, in my mind it must have beenJune, because I, like, was such a quick turnaround, like 30 days. So it must have been June. So I was in a Pilates class, and I heard my voice go, I don't like living here, in the Pilates class, I don't like living here. And I remember going, what a weird thing to say because the truth is, like, consciously, I love living where I live. I live by the beach. Who wouldn't wnat to do that? I've been living by the beach for almost seven years. At that point, like the one of the luckiest people, I had the greatest job. And so for me to say I don't like living here, was kind of like a big thought to have, and that that thought later that day, when I went to work and I picked up the phone and somebody was like, hey, Lesley. She had my same job at a different location in L.A. in Santa Monica, so it was also by the beach. And she said, hey Lesley, she's like, I put my two-week notice in, and it was like, my my mind was like, remember the thing that I heard, and my mind goes, oh, I'm gonna put in for your I'm gonna put in transfer for your job, right? And so then I so that was one moment where, like, the intuition was just so clear for me, for like, what I need to do and how I need to change my life. Another time that I can share with you about, like, listening to my intuition is one of my clients. So two, two parts. So in December of 2019, Brad and I were in Vegas, kicking off our very first tour ever. And we were at Vesta Coffee Shop. It's on Casino Center Drive, shout out to our neighbors, and I've never been there. We're waiting for our pop up to start. And we were having coffee, and Brad goes, I could live here. Said that, right? And I looked around, and I was like, I know it feels like the weird side of Melrose, like the place in town, like we've always want to kind of live at and we didn't have it, and it didn't even feel weird to even think because we loved L.A. So like, it's kind of just a little weird that, like he would say that, and I'm like, we love L.A. So like, why would I go, yeah, you know? And so then I gathered some information. Later that day, I asked my brother, like, do people live here who don't like work in the industry here? And he's like, oh, yeah, you know. And so put that aside. Like Brad said that thing, I had this feeling like, oh. And I got some more information. Then, two weeks after shutdowns and Covid, so we're in April, one of my clients said, hey, this company I work for is going to be working remote until June of 2021, so I think you should break your lease, cancel it, put yourself in storage like you know. And my immediate thought when she said that, my brain was like, space is going to become a commodity. Brad and I need to move to Vegas now, right? And so that was just like this intuition moment that I could then take action on and then, and on June 1st we moved. So I think that, like, it really does require a little bit of information and then trust in your gut, but that's what I think. I'd love to know what you think, and here's what the research says. So let's see if we think I'm spot on, or if you agree with me or agree with the research. Lesley Logan 5:40  So I have two things for today's episode. Today's episode is like, what is intuition? And then also, why is it difficult for us to hear or trust our intuition? Thursday's episode is going to be on tools to actually hear your intuition better. Okay? So that's the breakdown of our lineup. So, and then the sources for this information are always gonna be in our show notes. So, what is intuition? Intuition isn't magic or fantasy. Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge or understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning or analytical thought, often described as a gut feeling. It acts as an inner voice that processes information, past experiences and pattern recognition on a subconscious level to guide decisions. So you can see from my two examples, like I had to have information. You know, like I I had been living in the place where I've been living for a while, and I've been doing Pilates, and then I had this thought, and then when I went to this to the next part of my day, I got more information. It was like, I can act on that gut feeling, right? Brad and I liked Vegas. Thought about moving here in two or three years, so in 2022 or 2023 and then again, got some information, and my gut feeling is like, oh, I can take action on that. So it's just, it's, it's kind of like the same thing that people could say that luck is the intersection of preparation meets opportunity. I do think that the more I read about this intuition stuff, it's like you have a connection to your thoughts, and then you get, it meets opportunity and information, and then the two connect together and for you to take an action on that, no one else would see, because they're not in you, and they don't, they have different thoughts that get the same information, so it's gonna have a different reaction, right? So key aspects of intuition, there's a subconscious processing. It's not magical, but rather the brain's rapid, automatic analysis of previous experiences, of stored knowledge. So your brain is as a fiel cabinet, and it's got the stuff going on, and then all of a sudden it's a rapid automatic like looking through the files and going, boom, hold on, what? Check this out. Listen to this. Right? Lesley Logan 7:32  Pattern recognition. It functions the mental shortcut, helping individuals recognize patterns in complex situations. One of the things that I joke about, and I feel like several of you listeners have agreed that you have the same thing is like when the shoe drops, I have such clarity of the next thing to go, like the next thing to do, right? So, for example, we were on a plane coming home from Cambodia on March 14th 2020, and I already knew L.A. had shut down. We had heard that the day before, and so we had sent our dog walker to a grocery store, like I just sent her a bunch of money. I was like, please get any groceries you can. Good luck. Stay safe, right? And we're on this plane, and I'm getting all these emails of all these people who are trying to cancel contracts I have for the year. And I told Brad, I said, the Pilates industry does not know how to teach online, and every single person has to go online yesterday, so when I get home, I'm going to teach the people who are in our Profitable Pilates agency membership, how to teach online, I'm going to to do that tomorrow. So I like set it up. I told everyone at this time, at this day, it's your part of your membership. I'm teaching you. And then I had a public one that I charge for for five days later. So I knew based on just how much of my life experience as a teacher that was teaching online, and then so I knew what I had been doing, but most people are not trained to do that, and so it was this like mental shortcut that I was able to go, this is a complex situation. Hold on. I know how to teach this. I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna do it right now. It's like, it was this like urge that I had to get it done. I'm really proud of what we did and how we saved so many people's businesses because of that quick mental shortcut. Pattern Recognition, right? Lesley Logan 9:07  Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotional or physical sensation. Right? Speed and emotion, intuitive thoughts often appear quickly in consciousness accompanied by an emotion or physical sensation. Bridge between mind and logic. It bridges the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind operating beneath layers of logic. And I think that is really important, because I believe that in hindsight, we can see how logical some of these gut instincts, intuition moments are, but in the actual moment it it seems illogical if you were to tell people, like, when I came home and told Brad, I was like, space is gonna be a commodity, we need to buy a house right now. Luckily he just, like, had been on board with my crazy thoughts already, but a lot of people were like, you shouldn't be spending any money right now. There's so much uncertain. Like, the logical part would be like, don't buy a house right now, right? So it really does bridge the gap between these two. Lesley Logan 10:00  How it works. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which information, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stake decisions are required, such as detecting danger, assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as past negative experiences. That's important, your intuition can be a little flawed based on your past experience. Experiences, so it's always important that you are growing and learning. Because there's two books I want to that my brain just recalled that I feel like, oh my gosh, we have to talk about these right now. One of these books is called The Gift of Fear. It's by Gavin de Becker, and the book when I read it, so I will say I've read it with a diff in a different place in my life, but when I read It, there's an interesting part about how your gut will tell you, like something, like instinct about something, but then logic will tell you something completely different. And so then you'll lean on logic when your gut instinct was to, like, not trust the person, or not trust the thing. Now with that said, if you have a past experience in the subconscious that can actually affect you reading your intuition a little incorrectly, let me explain that there's. Oh the other book. Here we go. So there's the book What Happened to You, and that is with a great doctor and Oprah, and it talks about how your brain is developing. So as a child, if someone had a special scent or smell or voice or something like that, it will attribute that scent or smell or voice response to some and let's say that person was a negative person in your life, it will attribute that. So if you smell that your your gut instinct might be to feel fear and unsafe when that person has nothing to do with that, and that's in the present moment that has nothing to do with that. And but you're you're you're misreading based on your past experience. So you do want to make sure that you're you, if you have any of any traumas in your life, that you're not necessarily using that trauma to cast a judgment on somebody else you don't know. But so definitely, The Gift of Fear, read What Happened to You, if that's some if you have anything like that, if you smell something and it instantly makes you want to go, oh my god, I gotta leave this place. I would definitely explore that so you can retrain that, because it could be a shitty person. But if it's not, we don't want your intuition to lead to the wrong way. Okay, the third book, I didn't finish this book, I will say, and I have no idea if this author ages well in life, and we're not going to go down that road, but, but in it's called Getting the Love You Want. And I had a lot of parents who were couples read it, and they were a really in problematic relationships. So I don't know why I took the recommendation, but I was in a different relationship, and I was like, okay, I want to read this with you. And of course, big red flag, they did not want to read it with me. But one of the things about in the first chapter of this book, which is, like, the most important part that kind of goes with what I was just talking about in What Happened to You is that when we get into relationships, we fill all of our holes up, right holes with an H, and we fill all of our holes up, and then we project the person that we're with filled those holes up, but we actually just did it ourselves. And then when the relationship is no longer new, and we are tired of filling our holes, we stop doing that, and then we blame the other person for change. Person for changing when really we were the ones that were doing that. But in that book, it talks about how oftentimes we cast judgments on people based on subconscious thoughts from early childhood with different people in our family. So we either trust someone because they seem like their energy, seems like your grandmother, who you loved, or they seem like your your stepfather, who you didn't, right? So, so definitely worth if you have, if you're having a hard time trusting yourself, or you are, you feel like you might be misinterpreting based on past experiences, you might want to check those things out. Or, instead of reading the books, just go get some great, wonderful help. Lesley Logan 13:45  Okay, so back to this, how it works. Remember, I'll just repeat myself. Intuition relies on tacit knowledge, which is information gathered over time that is not consciously recalled. It's particularly effective in situations where quick, high stakes decisions are required, such as detecting danger or assessing a person's trustworthiness. While powerful, it can be influenced by biases such as negative past experiences. So definitely, I agree, like I think that intuition isn't something that's like happening all day long, all the time, although it could be, I guess. But for the most of us, we're really like relying on it and like paying attention to it in times of need, when we have to make a quick decision, and that's almost like you get a little more clarity, right, like the mind chatter does stop, so you can actually hear what's important. So we have some examples. So if a soldier or police officer is sensing danger in a seemingly safe environment, though that could be like, where your intuition is like, ooh. Like, why do I feel weird in this place? It's so perfectly wonderful interpersonal feeling an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person, right? You go to a family event, someone brings a friend, and you're like, I do not like this person. I will say, okay, I remember in high school, I always watched Good Morning America. My mom would always find The Today Show, and I was like that, Matt Lauer guy is weird. There's just something about that. Matt Lauer guy I do not like, and she's like, Lesley, you don't even know him. He is a reporter, and I am not. I could not stand the sound of his voice. So then, when I read Ronan Farrow's book, I was like, fucking knew it. I knew it. I knew it, right? Like it's so, so I will say sometimes it's like, it feels illogical to other people, but you might have an immediate sense of unease or trust regarding a new person. And then skill-based, an expert making a split correct decision in a fast paced game or in a professional setting based on deep experiences. You've seen this in the movies, right? You've even done this, right? So this is, as a Pilates instructor, something I try to teach other Pilates instructors is, like, it takes time for your gut to be like, they need this exercise over here, but it doesn't come if you're talking all the time, right? If you constantly are counting for clients, and you're constantly talking the whole time, you can't actually be present enough to see if, like, what's going on, and then you can't hear the intuition saying, I think they should go to this exercise over here. I'll never forget the time that I was watching Jay Grimes teach, and I said, oh, why did you give him that exercise? He was like, I don't know. My gut just said he needed it, right? Like, that's the that's a skill-based one. That's the one I pride myself in having. Lesley Logan 16:00  Okay, so now let's actually talk about why trusting your intuition can be difficult, like why it might be hard to hear when your intuition is talking to you. So trusting your intuition is difficult because it's easily confused with fear, anxiety or past trauma, rather than a purely rational guide. It is built on learned experience and subconscious pattern recognition. Meaning it can be biased or inaccurate new situations. Additionally, high stress, societal pressure, and logical over analytical thinking often drown out inner quiet knowing. So I'll just say, like, I think sometimes we can't hear it because we don't want to, because we know the answer is probably something that's we're doing that's different, you know, like that past person I was with who didn't really read the book. I remember being on the 101 freeway, and I remember thinking, gosh, I wish he would just break up with me. Right? My thought wasn't like, oh, I should break up with him. It would say, would you just break up with me? And then I was like, oh, my god, and I'd have to move and I have to do these things. And like, he's not a bad guy, and, like, on paper, he wasn't. So like, it's really interesting how we can, like, have intuitive thoughts and then, like, because they don't make sense in logic, we kind of, like talk ourselves out of it. Also say, I remember having, I remember this distinct moment where my brain was like, you should just make a left here. And I was like, why would I make a left here, and instead I made a left, where I always make a left, and I was in a head on collision. So, you know, I don't know why I thought that, but I, like, literally, wasn't listening at that time in my life. And so I think it can be, depending on what's going on in your life, it can be hard to listen to those things, or you might not. You might have a series of time of just actually not trusting yourself and the decisions you made. And so then you when your inner intuition is telling you something you haven't you don't have trust there, right? And so I feel that I see that. Lesley Logan 17:46  So here are some other main reasons why it's hard to trust your intuition, confusion with fear and trauma, what feels like a gut feeling is often an emotional reaction based on past trauma, fear or anxiety causing you to overreact. Anxiety often masquerades as intuition, especially when facing new or challenging but harmless situation. So again, I do think if you know that certain things cause you some anxiety or fear, it is absolutely worth go and exploring that with someone who with a professional because what I don't want you to do, and what you take from this episode is that, oh, when I have fear anxiety, it's like, not real, and I should just listen to my intuition that is like, that's not what I want. I actually want you to get some clear, urgent support, so that you can recognize the difference between anxiety and intuition, right? Context dependency. Intuition relies on learned patterns of the past. If you're in a new or unfamiliar situation, your gut may not have the necessary experience to provide accurate guidance, making it unreliable in, for example, on modern, complex scenarios compared to simple, repetitive ones. So like, I think this is where you can if you are in a new situation, a new job, a new totally different thing, maybe, like, you're supposed to fly into JFK, and you end up flying into some other place, and now you're like, it's gonna be really difficult to hear your gut, because your your your intuition, because your brain doesn't have a file for that place, and so it's, it's almost like a lot of noise, right? So then I would just say, like, don't judge yourself for not being able to hear yourself. Your brain is trying to take in the information it needs before it can even pipe in with some intuition. Logical over analysis. The logical sensor in our brain often dominates decision making, dismissing subtle nonverbal or non logical cues. So if you read The Gift of Fear, he talks about how like he was in a restaurant and it smelled like the smell, smelled like Italian. And he was like, oh, Italian. And he's looking at like the name of the restaurant, and it's Italian. But the pictures everywhere are not Italian restaurant pictures. They're they're quite very they're quite different, right? And so his, he knew he like lot, like his intuition, like, Oh my god, look at this. It's onna be a great Italian meal. But then the logic around him was showing that it wasn't Italian. So he's like, oh maybe it's not Italian, so maybe it's it's whatever he thought it was, and I should order this x, y or z, then the menu came as it was fucking Italian, right? So it's really easy for us to talk ourselves out of what we're actually hearing by using logic. And logic can, logic is there for a reason. I'm not bad mouthing it, but sometimes it can lead you astray, and because your gut had is actually picking up on the subtler things that are, that are actually what's going on. Mental noise and stress. High levels of stress, depression or being a state of shock, can distort or block intuitive signals. So you're stressed out right now, my love like, that's why you're not hearing it right. You're not hearing your intuition because you're in a high stress space. So it's not like a meditation a day is going to solve that problem. You might have to do and make other changes, but be kind to yourself. It's gonna be harder to hear. Got a lot going on. Prior failures, past mistakes can make you lose confidence in your own judgment. And I think this is where we have to be really kind to ourselves, because I always believe we fail forward. I really do believe that like making like if you think you made, in air quotes, a bad decision based on something you thought your intuition, and it led you to door number three. Well, my thing is that, you know, if you didn't die, then door number three is not a bad door it's an experience you need to have. Your brain would actually have more information to make better decisions in the future. And so actually, maybe you're supposed to go through door number three, and your intuition was spot on, right? Like, I will absolutely say, like I would not be here talking to you today had I not gone and taken that first Pilates class when my logic noise was saying, do not do that, right? I would not be here today if I had relied on my past failures. Of like, the first time we did Agency, nobody bought it. But now Agency is, like, eight years old and has helped 1000s of businesses. So I would just say like you're gonna fail in life. It doesn't mean you can't trust yourself. It means you had to learn something so that you can have even greater information and success in the future. But just be kind to yourself. Social pressure, the desire to conform to social norms, where fear of judgment can override your internal signals. I think this is really huge. I will tell you right now, my gut was spot on with all my exes, every single one, but especially my last one. I remember my gut was like, this is I think we should let this one go. And people at my job were like, oh my god, he sent flowers. Oh my god, he picked you up for a date. Oh my god, he did these things. And so then I stopped listening to my gut ended up in a five fucking year long relationship. Right when I can tell you right now, within 48 hours, my gut was like, should move on from this. You know. Anyways, that happens, though, because societal pressure and norms can, like, really change your decisions on, on what you're doing, and make you not listen to yourself. Self-sabotage, sometimes self sabotaging behavior disguise itself is the gut feeling to keep you in a comfortable, familiar, but limiting state. So what I will say is, I have many people saying, oh, gosh, I had this obstacle, which means I'm probably not supposed to be doing the thing that I'm doing. And I would say, like, actually, is that it's saying, or is it saying, like, hey, how bad do you want this? Are you going to work a little harder for it? Right? You know what I mean? Like, I think, like, first of all, I think too many people think that things are going to come like, easy for you, just because you have this great idea that it's just going to be easy to do. Nothing is easy to do. We're working on two major projects right now that scare the fuck out of me, if I'm completely honest. And every time I think maybe we shouldn't do it, my gut's like, oh, you're doing it like you you're supposed to do it. Like, talk about, like, that gut instinct where, like, there's that emotional and physical feeling we talked about earlier in the episode. Like, every time I think I'm not going to do it, I actually feel uneasy. And when I think, like, well, I am going to do it. It's like, yeah, because that makes the most sense. So I would just say that, like, it's easy to self-sabotage and stop yourself and call it intuition, because you're feeling an obstacle, but that's not necessarily what's happening. And how do you know if it's self-sabotage or actually a gut intuition? I think you'll have to actually just look back at your past behaviors. Are you doing something you've done in the past? Oh, something's getting really hard, and so you're talking yourself out of it, right? Maybe you have to ask yourself, like, what is the cost of not doing this? Like, you might have to just take a little bit more time and do some journaling, or give yourself a little bit more time. Let me just hang on a little longer. I can always stop this in the future, but let's just, like, take a little bit longer, get a little bit more information. Now that said, sometimes people are so afraid of self-sabotage that they talk themselves into being in jobs longer and relationships longer and other things longer. So I just say like, you know you the best. This is where you have to get honest with yourself, right? So it's because I don't want you to be like, -h, I'm I don't want to self-sabotage if I stick out this thing and I and Lesley said, so no, I just want you to just pay attention to your own patterns and what is going on. Here's the thing, hearing your intuition is difficult because it is a quiet, subtle inner voice that is easily drowned out by loud, racing thoughts, fear and societal demands for logic. It is often hard to distinguish from anxiety or past traumas, which present as urgent, emotional and reactive, rather than calm and steady, like if you are someone who is like feeling the effects of cortisol has had past trauma, has a lot going on in your mind. You're it's you're there's too much uncertainty in your life. I just want you to know if you're having a hard time hearing what to do next, it's, it's because you got, there's a lot going on and there's a lot going on right now. Oh my god. Like logic and society would say, let's not start anything new right now, right? But I will also say that, like, some of the craziest things I did at times were the so uncertain I am, like, sitting in this beautiful house, that people are like, you're crazy to buy a house when, like, you're not even sure what Covid is going to do with your business right now. Now, I also don't want people to go into debt, because it's, my gut says so, like, we have to really make sure that we're, we're making decisions from the right place and sitting with those things. And as you build that up, you might need to take some time and make sure that, like, it's the same answer. You know, you like, start, like, shake a magic eight ball, and you get an answer. You're like, I don't like this answer, and shake it again to get another answer. This is, like, I would say it's the opposite. It's like, maybe, if you're working on trusting your intuition and not self-sabotage or talking yourself out of things or using society's pressures to stick with whatever you're supposed to do, maybe you're looking for the eight ball to say the same thing three days in a row, right? All right. Lesley Logan 26:22  So just a couple, just to go on to that, because I know, I know you my listener. I know you need more information. So here is more information on why it's hard to hear your intuition. So overthinking and noise, overthinking, chronic overthinking. Hello, my chronic overthinkers. I see you. Stress and anxiety create mental noise that drowns out the quiet, subtle whispers of intuition. So if that's you, might want to be taking some time, maybe the habits to try to figure out, like, what do I do with my overthinking thoughts? I am an over thinker at night. Holy frickin moly, it is insanity. So guess what? MoonBrew, extra magnesium, a little extra support from my hormone specialist, and I can overthink in the morning, and then I'm like this. It's too beautiful to overthink right now, right fear, miss it misidentified as intuition. So true intuition feels calm, while fear-based thoughts are loud, urgent and emotional. We often confuse fear or past trauma, for example, needing to protect yourself for intuition. So I think I love that they brought this up, because it's like, how do you know? And as I've just mentioned a few times, it's one thing I'm thinking of doing every time I think about not doing it, it doesn't feel easy. Every time I think about doing it, this is gonna be the hardest thing I've ever done. But there's a calmness, like a confidence to my body that I feel, right? Over reliance on logic, so society priorities is data, facts and rational thinking, leading us to dismiss gut feelings that lack immediate logical explanation. So just notice, like, look, I do believe in data over dogma, but just kind of notice when you're letting other people's need for data determine what you how you make your decisions, that's their need, not yours. Lack of inner calm, intuition requires a grounded, present state. You're overwhelmed, ungrounded, or disconnected from your body, you cannot hear the physical sensations that often accompany intuitive nudges right. So like, I will just say, if you are not in an inner calm state, you should not be making any decisions. One, you're not gonna hear your intuition. But two, like, we all make poor decisions. Date terrible people pick big fights when we're not in inner calm state. So you might want to figure out things that help you with that. Lack of trust and self-doubt, low self-confidence or history of dismissing your own feelings can make it difficult to trust your inner voice when it does speak. I feel that I get you. I've been there. Lesley Logan 28:27  So my love. I hope this gave you some like kind of thought and some insight about, like, intuition versus inner chatter, versus why it's hard. I hope you know like it's totally normal to feel like you have lost your inner voice, or that you don't have that trust there. I think that there's just so much going on, and I don't know that our intuition can really, like, compete with, like, the scroll, the instant scroll, of so many things that are going on and and, you know, the time I'm recording this, like, you know, the President is, like, threatening to be at war. But also, you know, that's a distraction for the files. And then there's this happening over here, and then the hockey team just bringing up what every single female, like, always feels is happening all of the time. And you're just like, oh my god, and I have to go to work, and I have to fill this thing out, and I have to figure out how I'm gonna make this big decision. And so I just want you to know, like, there is a lot going on, so it can be hard. And I would highly encourage you to figure out, maybe brainstorm, go back to the habits episode and brainstorm all the different things that you could do to try to just like, get a habit or a thing that you could do to help you calm your nervous system so that then you can make decisions from a better place, and just remember that taking all that information is helping you with your intuition. Your intuition relies on information that you have filed away. Hard to have intuition on something you've never done or experienced or know, right? So I think you're amazing. I really hope that you are into this series. So Thursday, I'll give you the tools for listening and hearing it better, and then next week, we're going to have a really great guest who used her inner knowing and inner guidance to help heal herself. So I think that there's there's so much that our intuition and our inner guidance can do if we're listening. And so I hope this gets you started. Lesley Logan 30:18  If you have a topic that you want me to discuss, or if you have something related to this that you want to share with us, you can send it to the beitpod.com/questions. Ask a question. You can share a win about it, or you can you can just tell us, I'd love to hear how this is helping you and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 30:32  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:14  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 31:19  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:24  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:31  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:34  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you attracting the right people or stuck in a cycle of people-pleasing? In this candid recap, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell dig into the highlights from the recent interview with Barb Betts, a powerhouse keynote speaker and author of The Relationship Advantage. With over 20 years of expertise, Barb's insights on choosing genuine connections over surface-level relationships will transform your perspective on your own identity. This episode explores the provocative idea that authenticity isn't about "doing" something new, but rather "undoing" the layers that aren't actually you.  If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Building a relationship with yourself before connecting with others. Stop people-pleasing by undoing everything that is not you.Replace envy with curiosity to escape the comparison trap. Apply visibility, vulnerability, and relatability to build real trust. Release relationships that require you to show up inauthentically. Episode References/Links:Pilates On Tour® (London, UK) - xxll.co/pot      OPC Spring Training (Virtual Event) - opc.me/events   eLevate Mentorship Program - lesleylogan.co/elevate   Submit your questions or wins - beitpod.com/questionsBarb Betts Website - https://www.barbbetts.comThe Relationship Advantage by Barb Betts - https://therelationshipadvantagebook.comGetting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix Ph.D. - https://a.co/d/0dGm43Y3 If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  If you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps you people, please, and then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself. Lesley Logan 0:14  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 0:56  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the candid convo I had with Barb Betts in the last episode. If you haven't listened to that one, you didn't hear it, and you're not gonna understand what we're talking about, but.  Brad Crowell 1:09  Well that's true. If they didn't listen to it, then they didn't hear it. Lesley Logan 1:11  Well, we're thrilled you're here. So if this you might, this might be the first, Be It hot episode.Brad Crowell 1:17  We're so happy that you're here. Lesley Logan 1:18  You know, it's taken 665 episodes. We didn't realize maybe this is the first one, and that's why you didn't listen to it. And I shouldn't say you fucking missed out, because, like, you're new. How would you know? So welcome. This is not what my voice normally sounds like. It doesn't normally sound like I'm on the brink of a sneeze, but I have a sinus stitch, and here we are. We are gonna while you're listening to this, we are in Europe, and we have to record these things early, and so we can't wait any longer. This is how it's gonna be. So stick around.Brad Crowell 1:46  That's true. Lesley Logan 1:46  It does get better than this. It's basically just it sounds less Lesley. Today is April 9th, and it's National Unicorn Day. Brad Crowell 1:53  That's right.Lesley Logan 1:54  You're fucking welcome.Brad Crowell 1:54  You are very welcome. National Unicorn Day.Lesley Logan 1:57  There are other days that we can celebrate. But, I mean, come on, hello. National Unicorn Day is a day to celebrate the most popular mythical creature ever. Why? Because if we don't take time to celebrate a beautiful horn, rainbow, printed mythical creature, then we're most definitely missing a trick. I don't think it's trick. You've been missing out. Brad Crowell 2:17  You're missing out.Lesley Logan 2:17  You're missing out. It's missing out. The unicorn is a symbol of happiness, fantasy and wonder. It's an icon of color, of childlike splendor and magic. They often make appearances on birthday cakes and children's clothing. And let's be honest, quite a lot of US adults still dig them, too. I mean, hello, my Lisa Frank people. My Lisa Frank people, I love you probably have as a tattoo, because adults need stickers too. National Unicorn Day is your chance to express some unicorn love. So show some color and delve into the magnificence of unicorns with us.Brad Crowell 2:47  No, we're saying that word one more time.Lesley Logan 2:50  Show some color and delve into the magnificence. Brad Crowell 2:54  That is the word. Take three. Yes, you did two times. Lesley Logan 3:05  Keep sake. Alright. Oh my gosh I wish you guys knew what I'm happy about. Anyways, leave it in. Delve into the magnificence. You guys, I have a bright yellow box, kind of like a pizza box size that my dad gave me a gift in and on my 41st birthday, maybe was my 40th birthday, probably, probably my 41st anyway, in front of everybody before I had ordered a drink. I just want to put that there. There's, we're at a bar, but I have not had a drink. So it's, we can't blame anything. We cannot blame it on anything. Lesley Logan 3:49  My dad hands me this gift, and it has words on the front, and Brad goes, What does it say? And I said, it says, Keep sake. And Brad is looking at upside down.Brad Crowell 3:57  I was upside down, and I was like, Is that what it says? And I read it. And I was like, try again.Lesley Logan 4:03  I said, keep sake.Brad Crowell 4:05  Like, hello, I'm reading it. Lesley Logan 4:07  I'm reading it. Brad Crowell 4:08  Keep sake.Lesley Logan 4:09  And he's like, you want to try that one more time? And I'm like, it says, keep sake. And it's Brad said, what does it say babe?Brad Crowell 4:16  Definitely says keepsake. Lesley Logan 4:17  Keepsake. Brad Crowell 4:18  Yeah, but we'll go with keep sake.Lesley Logan 4:19  Now, anyone who was there understands how hilarious it was and signs off all text messages to me. Keep sake. I want to frame it so bad. I just don't know that I got to do it anyways. Keep sake. Lesley Logan 4:33  All right, you guys. We're on vacation right now, so I don't know why you're not, but we are. We are somewhere in France, but we're going to see you very soon. If you are in London at POT check out.Brad Crowell 4:43  Yeah we're celebrating our 10th year anniversary, actually.Lesley Logan 4:45  Yes, we are. Brad Crowell 4:46  Decided to take some time off. Lesley Logan 4:47  It's actually the exact dates that we did our honeymoon 10 years ago. So, it is. We did it in March.Brad Crowell 4:54  Of 2016, holy cow.Lesley Logan 4:56  You didn't know I that's why I said it's our second honeymoon. Because it's the same time.Brad Crowell 5:00  You're totally right. It's 10 years after the first honeymoon. Lesley Logan 5:03  I know. Brad Crowell 5:03  Wow, amazing. I didn't even put that together. Incredible. Well, we are going to be in London next week. Or actually, hold on, today is the ninth so in like two or three days, we're gonna be at POT.Lesley Logan 5:12  No, we're literally on a train from Paris to London in this moment.Brad Crowell 5:16  Yes, in this exact moment, we are traveling underwater.Lesley Logan 5:20  That's what they say. So if you want to see us, if there's any tickets left, you want to go to.Lesley Logan 5:24  xxll.co/potLesley Logan 5:26  And it's just in case you're wondering, it's xx not excess, the letters. Brad Crowell 5:33  Yes, as in kiss, kiss, hug, hug, xx and LL, because we thought that was cute. Okay, after that, we're heading back home. We're going to be back in Vegas for spring training. Spring Training is with onlinepilatesclasses.com we love to call it OPC and we do an annual event. Yeah, you know me, we do an annual, annual event. This is called Spring Training. And this year it's all about getting upside down.Lesley Logan 5:57  Yeah. OPC members, it's free for you.Brad Crowell 6:00  Free for OPC members.Lesley Logan 6:01  If you're not an OPC member, you are missing out. I'm just telling you. It really is for Pilates lovers. It really is one of the best things you could subscribe to, because you can do it in addition to your other things, like it doesn't have to be your only thing, but we actually give feedback on your form, like for exercise you're struggling with. We have a really amazing community that answers lots of questions. We can support you on the equipment choices, all that good stuff, and we help hold you a candle to your Pilates practice. And we do this fun event. It's free if you're a member, and it's not free if you're not a member, so then you have to pay for it if you're not a member, so you're gonna go to opc.me/events. To get on the waitlist for that. Actually, probably right now you can sign up for it. And I don't know how much it is on this date, but it's available for you to register for. If you go to opc.me/events it should direct you to where that is.Brad Crowell 6:46  Yes, opc.me/eventsLesley Logan 6:49  And then at the time I'm recording this, there's five spots left in my mentorship program. Just five. It could be gone by now. I have no idea. Unless you want to go to lesleylogan.co/elevate if it's sold out, I'll say so on the website. And if it's not sold out, you can apply to be in the mentorship program. Once I've accepted all the applications and they have accepted their spots, it's you have to work on 2028. Oh, geez, that's far okay. Brad Crowell 7:16  Oh, don't sit on it. Lesley Logan 7:17  Oh, my God, do not. I don't wait that long to work with you. It's way too much fun.Brad Crowell 7:21  Yeah, right. Well, before we dig into this amazing conversation that you had with Barb Betts, we have a question. Today's question is from @marthanovera on YouTube, and she was commenting on the Teaching the Hundred to Beginners video. She said, Hey, amazing tips. Quick q, when preparing for roll ups, when you say you don't like arms holding behind the knees, would it be helpful to have the client let go and reach the arms forward as they curl to their lowest point? Would it be a useful prep for an actual roll up?Lesley Logan 7:55  Trying to picture what you're saying. Sorry, it's not you, Martha, it's it's my sinus medicine. Brad Crowell 8:01  Okay, so. Lesley Logan 8:02  I understand. Brad Crowell 8:03  You do understand. Lesley Logan 8:04  You're preparing for roll ups and I don't like when people hold behind the knees because they just use their arms, which is why I don't like it. I but I understand why a half roll up exists. I have it in my flash cards. I actually have information on how to best teach it. And if they're holding behind their thighs, like close to their knees, just wanna make sure that they're not using their arms to do it. But of course, they might need but, of course, they might need to. But is it helpful for them to reach forward as they curl their lowest point like so they let go? It could be, it might be extra to be honest. Here's the problem. People make Pilates too complicated. What I mean is like, okay, curl forward. Okay. Now, right there. Stop. Reach your arms forward and keep going.Brad Crowell 8:41  I think people like, whip up. They like, you know, to get up into that roll up. That's what I did at first, for sure.Lesley Logan 8:48  All right, so what I would say, Martha is, if they're not ready for the roll up, maybe we need to do other things. Maybe they need to do some pre Pilates work.Brad Crowell 8:56  Yeah, I was gonna say everybody's favorite elbow slip will really help with the roll up.Lesley Logan 9:00  That might even be too hard. Maybe they actually get. Brad Crowell 9:02  It's really hard. Lesley Logan 9:03  Honestly, look, if they don't have access to a Cadillac, that would be a bummer, because where I'm thinking they need to go is the half roll up with the roll back bar. Actually need to use the springs that help them go down and up, versus just working on themselves. I would also say stomach massage on the Reformer would be really great. I would say push down on the Wunda Chair can be really helpful. And if they don't have access to any of that equipment, Martha, then I would put them on the wall, and I'd practice the roll up at the wall. Clearly, something is tight and something is weak. So instead of trying to modify the roll up again and again until it's almost nothing, like the roll up, which is basically like borrowing cash off a credit card, which is the highest interest rate, makes it really hard to pay back whenever you use too much modifications. Are they ever going to be able to do the actual exercise? Ever, right? It's gonna take years, it's gonna take months. So I would say, put them at the wall and work on the roll down, up and down the wall. So they go put their back and then work on exercise that would stretch the front of their thighs and strengthen the back of their legs and then add the exercise back in. It's perfectly fine for them to skip it, get better at it. And I know that that sounds terrible. Sometimes people like I'm just trying to make Pilates accessible. I'm not saying don't make it accessible. What I'm saying is.Brad Crowell 10:14  Yeah, but there are building blocks here, and maybe you haven't built the foundation necessary to be able to do the roll up without either cheating or hurting someone, right, so.Lesley Logan 10:22  Correct and here's the other thing, you remember how. Brad Crowell 10:24  Not that you're hurting them, but they could hurt themselves. Lesley Logan 10:26  Training wheels work. They like, don't actually touch the ground. It's like, if you lean to one side, a training wheel touches the ground, right, catches you. Then I saw someone's training wheels that like, touch the ground, having training wheels that touch the ground on both sides. That kid is never riding a bicycle, ever. It's never gonna happen. So you have to actually make sure that you're not putting a tripod on a bike, versus actually something that will help them test the waters. Brad Crowell 10:51  It's a great visual. Lesley Logan 10:52  Thanks. I just came up with it. Now, how did I not think about that genius example? But another thing I'll just say is, like, not every exercise is for everybody at that time, and we have to understand that, like our job as the teachers who are teaching people is to make sure that we understand, by looking at a body what they're ready for, and then prepare them for what they're ready for. And for the clients, it is understanding that if you can't do an exercise yet, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It means that we actually have to find the connections to help you get there. And for whatever reason, this is completely normal at a gym. Like, no one would go, Oh, my God, I can't bench press. You've got to make this bar lighter. Rogue should make a lighter bar. No, they're like, here are some lighter dumbbells. Here is another way you could do push ups at the wall. There's like, all these different things. You take bands and you build up your flexibility and your abilities.Brad Crowell 11:47  It's like doing pull ups, right? Like, the same thing. This is a great these are great parallels.Lesley Logan 11:50  For whatever reason, at a gym, people are understanding that they have to build up their strength to do something. But in Pilates or even in yoga, I would argue, people are like, you should make the exercise possible, no.Brad Crowell 12:00  I mean, even when you are like, I can like, even when you're like, I got this, I can do a squat with 175 pounds. You don't, your first squat is not 175 pounds. You build up your bar to get to 175 pounds, even if you know you can already do it.Lesley Logan 12:15  Today, I Dave, I back squatted 120 pounds today. Brad Crowell 12:18  Did you just call me Dave? Lesley Logan 12:20  Babe. Brad Crowell 12:20  Oh, babe. Lesley Logan 12:21  What's this with the sinus infection sounds like Dave, but it's babe. Hey, babe. Hey, Dave, I back squat 120 pounds, which you know how much I started with? Brad Crowell 12:29  Tell me. Lesley Logan 12:29  65 pounds. Did three reps then I added 20 more pounds, 85 pounds, then I got to 105 and did six reps. Now I started my rounds, and I went to 110 then 115 120 why? Because you have to get your brain connected to it. And I just, I just want to say, like, for whatever reason, people like, oh, I have to make Pilates accessible to everybody. No, you have to make everybody ready for the exercise you're gonna give them. That is your job. If you're a teacher, that's your job. If you're a teacher, and if you're not doing that, then you're not helping people. You're just putting a tripod on their bike and going see you did it. You did Pilates. That, to me, is almost lying to them. Anyways. Now I'm on a ped, I'm on a fucking like.Brad Crowell 13:06  Now you're on your own tripod. Lesley Logan 13:08  No, what do you call those things? I'm on a pedestal. I'm not pointing fingers at people, Martha, I just want to say also. Brad Crowell 13:14  Your soapbox, you mean. Lesley Logan 13:15  My soapbox. That's what I'm on. Telling you guys the day will hit. Martha, I appreciate this question. I know it comes from a place of love and wanting your clients to get it, and I love that you're trying to be creative, and so I hope I'm not. I hope you don't feel like I'm like, attacking you. I just, I want to give you different perspective of how to think about readying your clients, and I hope that gives you some.Brad Crowell 13:34  I like it. I like it. Well, that's a great question. Martha, thanks for writing that in and feel free to keep writing in questions. If you have a question, text it to us at 310-905-5534. We also love to celebrate wins. If you haven't, if it is your first episode tomorrow will be Fuck Yeah Friday, and that's gonna be amazing, so.Lesley Logan 13:52  One of, one of, one of the people who sent a win in, they're like, I don't know if it's qualifies. They're in one of our they're like, an eLevate grad and like, I know if it qualifies as a win, but I heard my win on the FYFs today that I sent in, and it's been months since I've had that win, and being able to hear it and recelebrate that is another win.Brad Crowell 14:12  Well, if you have either a win or a question, you can also send it in at beitpod.com/questions be it pod.com/questions and we can't wait to celebrate yours, so stick around. We will be right back. We're going to talk about Barb Betts. Brad Crowell 14:28  Barb Betts is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned an accidental speaking career into a full time role as a thought leader with over 20 years of experience, she helps professionals understand how relationships drive leadership, sales and long term success. She's the author of the relationship advantage, and is known for her practical, trust-centered approach to relationships, and I think her book has just come out. So we're really Barb. We've known Barb now for like, five or six years, and yeah, this is really exciting for her. So we're fired up.Lesley Logan 14:59  She's kicking ass.Brad Crowell 15:00  Yeah, fantastic. So one thing, oh, actually.Lesley Logan 15:02  It's my turn. Brad Crowell 15:03  It's your turn. Lesley Logan 15:04  I start. I always start. It's my turn. Brad Crowell 15:06  It's your turn. Lesley Logan 15:06  Yeah. She said, I love this so much. She said, to have a real relationship with anyone else, you first have to have relationship with yourself. You guys, this is like. Brad Crowell 15:14  This is like, this is like, mic drop moment, boom.Lesley Logan 15:17  Y'all. This is, like, every time I have people in my life who complain about the people who are dating, gonna go, there's something wrong with you, because you, if you keep attracting people, like one of our friends today, I'm excited for them, but like, I saw online that they're just talking about, like, this is the third person that's ghosted me, and it's like, why do you people three people in a row ghost you like what are you putting out in the world? Because one person goes to okay, that like lightning strikes once in a while, but like, three there's something going on there. So she mentioned that relationships are a mirror of yourself, you're only capable of building a relationship with someone else to the capacity you have one with yourself. So she also argued the biggest problem we have in life is we're trying to build relationships with others, and we don't even know who we are. So we show up to these relationships. Inevitably, we people please and present an inauthentic version of ourselves. And I have a series coming up on I think it's listening to your inner self. And I brought up a book called Getting the Love You Want. And I also just want to say, I have no idea if it ages well. I have no idea if that person's like a real marriage counselor. But there's this thing about in the book that talks about how when you get into a new relationship with anybody.Brad Crowell 16:28  Harville Hendrix. Lesley Logan 16:30  You, you fill in all of your holes, so to speak, you fill them in, but you think that the other person you're with fill them in, and then in a few months, when you're exhausted and tired, you don't fill them in anymore. And then you're like, you've changed. And it's like, actually, you changed because you were filling those things and you were presenting an inauthentic version of yourself. And so I just think that, like, what if you are someone who's wanting new friendships, new relationships, better clients, you know, Barb's big thing is that, like, if you have really great relationships, you can have great longevity in your business and things like that. But if you don't know who you are, you're not going to be attracting people that you want in your life, whether they're clients, friends, a romantic partner, any of that kind of stuff. You gotta know who yourself is.Brad Crowell 17:07  Harville Hendrix is a doctor. Lesley Logan 17:09  Okay, great. Brad Crowell 17:10  So they have a PhD. I have no idea in what, but it's Dr Hendrix. So yes. Lesley Logan 17:15  Yeah, I remember it being great. I also only read the first chapter. I kind of got the point. Do you ever do that you're like. Brad Crowell 17:29  I'm like, okay, got this chapter, I see where, yeah, this is like, ADHD. Am I finishing your sentences? How about I finish your book in the first, I'm like, got it.Lesley Logan 17:39  But, but I will just say, like, I appreciate that thought. And it comes to this, it's like, if you're not clear on who you are, you actually fill in these gaps, you people please. And then you're wondering, like, why you have relationships that, like, don't represent you, or don't feel right, or don't fit, it's because you didn't know who you were, and you you brought that on yourself.Brad Crowell 17:57  Yeah. Well, I got really into when she was kind of dissing the word authenticity, yeah, even though the irony is, she wants people to be authentic, and she also she acknowledged that, and she said that, but she said her big beef with it is the word authenticity is like so overused, and it's also under explored. And she said she critiques the common self-help mantra of just be yourself, you know? And she argues that to be is a verb, that the verb to be is inherently performative, right? Comparing it to deciding what to be for Halloween or when you grow up, right? So if we are going to, like, I think the Halloween parallel is perfect, like, I am going to be Iron Man for Halloween, and you're like, putting on a costume to be Iron Man for the night, but then we're also told to be authentic. And we're like, okay, I gotta, like, be authentic in this moment coming up right now, but like, in my real life, am I actually authentic, or am I putting on the costume of authenticity for this thing? I'm gonna go do whatever, right? And so I think that that was, like, that was really intriguing to me, because she said, that's, I think, how most people are thinking about it, like, okay, I got to put on my two my authenticity hat. Now, you know, she said, authenticity is not about doing anything. Authenticity is about undoing everything that is not you. Lesley Logan 19:16  I love that, and I think that that makes it a lot easier.Brad Crowell 19:18  Another mic drop moment, like, I seriously, there was some, like, really deep stuff in this episode with Barb, and she was just casually throwing out these, like, epic topics. I was like, whoa. Let's dig into that more. She started talking about comparison, and she said, comparison is actually the thief of authenticity. When you're comparing, you are now all of a sudden, adding things into your life that are not you. But if authenticity is about undoing everything that isn't you, then comparison is really the number one trap. But if you compare yourself to someone else for different reasons, you're running a race, you cannot win. She advised that to we need to reframe comparison by replacing envy with curiosity, right, which I love. Wow. Look at them. How are they doing what they're doing? Yeah, you know, rather than feeling defeated by someone else's success, we should view them as showing us that there's a path that's possible, or maybe even literally showing us the path. Oh, I could do that too, right? You know, and how you could achieve it your own way. So I just thought it was powerful. Really, really concisely well said. Lesley Logan 20:19  I mean, we've been listening to Barb talk about building great relationships for a really long time and so does that see her be able to put in a concise book that anyone because she does this on speaking. But when are you gonna go see or speak you'd have to be at one of those speaking places, right? And like, this is something anyone can use. And I think, like, I love the word authenticity, like it's a value that we have at our company, a value that I think is really important, but I agree with her, I is overused and under explored. It's kind of like the word Pilates. Gonna be really honest, it's very similar, like, I do Pilates, but most of the time, people tell me that I'm like, oh, and then I'm like, where do you do it? And they're like, I do it over this place. And I'm like, those aren't even reformers. Why is the room hot? What are we doing? Oh, and you're and your shoulders hurt later, you're not doing Pilates. But I don't want to be the person who tells them that, like, like, that's just an annoying thing. So I kind of feel like I understand, and I love Pilates, and I love being authentic. So I feel it's a predicament. I'm in a I'm in a conundrum.Brad Crowell 21:20  Conundrum. Yeah, it's something we have to remove. All right. Well, anyway, we will be right back. We're going to dig into some Be It Action Items that you covered with Barb Betts, stick around. Brad Crowell 21:30  All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Barb Betts. She said there are three things that have to be present to have a real relationship with others and even with yourself. She calls it the VVR formula, visibility, vulnerability and relatability. VVR. So visibility, are you actually showing up and being present? Visibility, are you actually showing up and being present. She links this to a really interesting law called propinquity, which I have never looked up and thought that was interesting. She said that the greater proximity increases the chance of a relationship. So if you're not in the room, you can't have a relationship.Lesley Logan 22:15  Oh, that's kind of like how Hinge, the dating app, used to start. It was based on if someone had ever been in a location that you've been to? That's how Chris and Laura got together. They both went to some area in Century City Mall, crazy. She shopped there, and his office was down there. And so they're like, you two are near each other some of the time. Brad Crowell 22:33  Love that. Well, yeah. So visibility, obviously. Vulnerability is the second thing. And I thought, again, this was another really powerful thing. And she said, there has to be some level of vulnerability in your life with other human beings. So are you willing to say, I don't know the answer to that? Or text someone and just be like, Hey, I was just thinking about you. I miss you, right? And there's that is being vulnerable. And when you do that, it really does, like let them know that they're special, that they're they care. So you know, by being vulnerable, you're helping connect the dots, and it builds relationships. The third is relatable relatability. You have to have a point of connection or common ground. She believes that this is often something forced, that people are forcing right? I mean, you know, it's like, I think actually people who get in a relationship and they they say things like, Oh, we love the same music and movies and all this kind of stuff, but, like, that's the only things that are a part of it. There's got to be more the vulnerability is, like, super important, you know, and honesty and trust and, of course, all those other things. But relatability is a definitely the beginning. It will help jumpstart all these conversations and all these things, but you know, if you're forcing it, you're not being vulnerable.Lesley Logan 23:52  I mean, that's yeah, that's kind of it. Brad Crowell 23:54  Yeah. She emphasized that if you don't have these three things, then you won't build a relationship.Lesley Logan 23:59  Yeah. I believe that. Brad Crowell 24:00  Yeah, what about you? Big takeaway. Lesley Logan 24:02  Okay, stop hiding. Let your walls down. Let people in. Admit you're not perfect. Admit where you know your vulnerabilities are. Pay attention to how you feel on social media. Pay attention to what you're looking out and how you're comparing yourself to others. I mean, these are great things to like even journal on. They kind of help with what you were talking about before, first of all, if you're listening to this podcast, you're already admitting you're not perfect. You've been listening to us. I sound like a fucking shit right now. I sound like a Bakewell. But I also think, like, when you admit those things, it you don't have to pretend, and you you can just, it doesn't mean you get to like, it's like a bus pass to like, being an asshole, but you can just be like, like, I am not an organized person. I'm not I It's not something I'm going to learn to do. I put things down. I don't put them away. I'm not a dirty person. I'm a messy person, you know. So I that means I have to know that those are my things, and I need people in my life who will put things away or keep things out of my hands so I can't fuck it up, you know. You just have to know these things. And if you do feel like shit when you're watching social media, stop doing it. One of my clients, she just, social media doesn't make her feel good, so she doesn't have any account. She just, she's like, I just, like, I have no idea what's going on, and that's okay, because, like, honestly, like, I don't it wasn't helping. The benefits of being in on, like, whatever is something that is like people are talking about don't outweigh the negatives of how I feel about myself when I watch it. So I think this is really important. And I I understand if you've been hurt before, it's hard to let your walls down, but you waiting for someone to be trustworthy enough to let your walls down. Guess how you do that? You trust them. You have to like, let your wall like the way it works you have to let your walls down first so you can trust them. Let your walls down. That's how it goes. So if people suck, go find new people. I also just want to say, like, I love.Brad Crowell 25:49  Burn those relationships or not relationships, because they're not relationships. Lesley Logan 25:54  No, I think, like, I love how Barb talks about, like, building authentic relationships. I made big fan of just like (inaudible) just don't go like, I'm amazed at how many friends you have from like, different parts of your life, and like. Brad Crowell 26:05  Who, me? Lesley Logan 26:06  Yeah, and I have I, if I saw those people in a place right now, I would not avoid them. I would absolutely go, oh my god, hi from high school, if I to be honest, and no offense even from high school, if I recognized you. I really didn't know who I was in high school, so I don't know, like, who you remember, because probably, but like, I would just say, like, I don't have those but I wouldn't be like, Oh, I don't talk to those people anymore. It's just like, I outgrew those things because I got to know myself more, and it's not a slight to them. It's just like, you keep going. So it's okay to let relationships go, if you have to show up inauthentically to be in them, yes, and I think that that's really important information, you know.Brad Crowell 26:47  I think, I think that's worth saying again, you know, like, and I it's something I struggle with, is letting a relationship go, you know, because, for me, I value relationships really highly. But I love the idea that if you have changed to the point where being in a relationship with a friend or even a family member means you have to be inauthentic to be in that you're allowed to hit pause, you know. So yeah, and it's gonna be healthy for you in the long run, and it is something that we have to protect ourselves, you know? Because, like, think about this. We talk about this all the time. When we let our friends or family, we tell them our dream, and then they shit all over it, and then we take that seriously, you know? And it's like, like, we all know that that has happened, but also too, like, clearly, there's a discord there. Doesn't mean we're firing those friends, but the point is that if we are aware, conscious enough that we should protect our dreams when we're sharing them. You know, in that way, it's also okay as you shift, change and grow. If you have to, like, pretend to be your old self to be in a relationship with someone, maybe you move on.Lesley Logan 27:53  Well, I'll just say, like the other day we were at, not the other day, the other day, but a while back, we were at an event, and I saw some people in person for the first time in six, seven years in our industry, and I used to handle the lot, and there was just a few different times they showed me, kind of like, who they were and how I needed to be in their relationship with them. And they're not bad people by the way. They just their needs and how they want to be and what they want to talk about, are things that are not something I want to do, and how I'd have to be in a conversation with them is not authentic to me. And I went up, I hugged them, I genuinely said, how are you what's going on? And they did vague, this is what's going on, even like they were not vulnerable, no. And what they did say was like. Brad Crowell 28:39  I literally know the conversation you're talking about. Lesley Logan 28:42  They were like, they were like, kind of pumping up whatever it was they were doing in a very like, I'm over here and this is over here. And I was like, yeah, I'm really glad that I'm saying hi, and I'm so glad that over the last six years we haven't been in contact, because, like, who they want me to be in that conversation is not who I am and I have voiced multiple times things that, like, I was like, ooh, I don't really like this, X, Y and Z, yeah. And guess what? So I voiced it. They didn't want to hear it, or they don't care, or they don't see it that way. You have to be a negative. It's just like, it's, we're different. And I think.Brad Crowell 29:15  But this comes back to knowing yourself. So because you know yourself, it allows you to be like, ooh. Lesley Logan 29:20  Yeah. So because of that, so it was great to just have a check in. Like, oh, did I let something go? Was it me? No, actually, we are oil and water and that is okay, and we can exist as balsamic and oil. Sometimes they're great on bread. Sometimes, there's gonna be people who glad that we're both at the exact same event, but I don't have to pour myself into their bowl for the for it to.Brad Crowell 29:45  To finish the metaphor. Yeah, love it. Awesome. Lesley Logan 29:47  All right. I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 29:48  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 29:49  You guys are amazing. I just am so grateful for you. Thanks for sticking it out with this voice. I hope that we record in a couple of days better. If it's not, you're gonna keep. Listening anyways, because you love me and we are hopefully really helpful, and so you're gonna leave a review, too, me hypnotizing you leave a review show this with a friend who needs to hear it. Until next time, go Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 30:10  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 30:12  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 30:54  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 30:59  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 31:04  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 31:11  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 31:14  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Lesley Logan 31:27  There's a gnat that is just like. Brad Crowell 31:29  I know I tried to kill him twice on my screen without shaking my camera.Lesley Logan 31:32  Flying around my face. I feel like that dog today. I'm like. Gonna wash my hair after this.Brad Crowell 31:44  Yeah, the more you keep touching it, the more amazing it looks on camera.Lesley Logan 31:53  Yeah, what is happening? Okay, that's pretty good. Nope. Do I look like a unicorn?Brad Crowell 32:09  Yes, you are always a unicorn babe. Okay, ready? Okay, let's talk about Barb. Betts. Barb is a keynote speaker, author and recovering real estate broker who turned and we are on a roll. All right, let's start that over. Brad Crowell 32:38  She said there are three things that you have to have to be present. Sorry. She said there are three things that you have to be present to have. This is fucked up. There are three things that have to be oh, that not you. It's just have to be present. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

De ce ne atrage tocmai persoana care ulterior ne frustrează cel mai tare? Diana Lupu, psihoterapeut Imago, ne arată cum agenda inconștientului ne ghidează alegerile și cum putem transforma atracția în compatibilitate reală.Diana Lupu este psihoterapeut relațional avansat Imago, ghid pentru adolescenți și autoare a instrumentului de autocunoaștere Psihodescoperiri: Jurnalul tău de creștere. Lucrează cu cupluri, părinți dar și individual pentru deprinderea limbajului relațional și construirea de relații mai sănătoase printr-o combinație de știință, dialog și empatie. Pe Diana o puteți găsi pe site și pe Instagram.Acesta este al treilea episod dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat împreună cu Pagina de Psihologie. Astăzi discutăm despre:Ce este „imagoul" și cum ne formăm matrița inconștientă a relațiilorDe ce etapa romantică e un „văl biochimic" Părțile pierdute ale sinelui — cum căutăm reîntregirea prin parteneriMaximizator vs. minimizator — cum răspundem diferit la aceleași răniConversații esențiale la începutul relației: copii, căsătorie, bani, sexDiferența între disconfortul de creștere și cel care erodeazăCum creșteți împreună când unul e mai „treaz" decât celălaltReparare, apreciere și verificarea disponibilității ca instrumente practiceResurse menționate în conversație:Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt — fondatorii terapiei ImagoPsihodescoperiri: Jurnalul tău de creștere de Diana Lupu Brené Brown — despre critică, rușine și schimbare de comportamentPCM (Process Communication Model)Episod Mind Architect despre Sinele social, cu Raluca Anton și Adela Moldovan Episodul 1 cu Gáspár György, despre etapele de dezvoltareIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect.Acest episod este produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România."(00:00) Intro""(01:50) Despre episod""(05:11) Atractivitatea: biologic, social și Disney""(08:04) Imago: de ce nu alegem partenerii rațional""(10:11) Ne naștem, suntem răniți și ne vindecăm în relații""(12:14) Matrița relațională: cum se formează Imagoul""(14:26) Ce ne atrage inițial și de ce ne enervează ulterior""(16:02) Etapa romantică: vălul biochimic""(18:22) Părțile pierdute ale sinelui pe care le căutăm în alții""(20:21) Atracție vs. compatibilitate: definiții Imago""(23:17) Imago match: trăsături, rol și dinamica relațională""(26:18) Polii sinelui social: gândire-acțiune vs. simțire-emoție""(29:16) Comunitate: nevoia neîmplinită duce la căutare sau evitare?""(30:28) Aceeași rană, altă adaptare: maximizator vs. minimizator""(33:14) Exemplu de cuplu cu stiluri opuse de coping""(35:43) Diferențele și compatibilitatea""(38:37) Inconștientul nu face diferența între trecut și prezent""(41:37) Spirala conflictului: cum mecanismele de apărare se declanșează reciproc""(45:12) Ieșirea din spirală: empatie și dialog conștient""(48:13) Cum identifici etapa de dezvoltare cea mai rănită""(52:06) Exercițiu practic: plusuri, minusuri și nevoi neîmplinite din copilărie""(54:59) Compatibilitatea: valori și personalitate""(57:44) Exercițiul de viziune asupra relației""(01:01:45) Împreună sau separat? Activități individuale și lumea celuilalt""(01:06:14) De ce e nerealist să așteptăm totul de la un singur partener""(01:08:11) Disconfort sănătos vs. distructiv""(01:15:13) Când rămâi și când pleci""(01:20:25) Responsabilitate emoțională vs. susținere""(01:25:10) Mitul partenerului perfect: de ce relațiile cer efort conștient permanent""(01:29:30) Ce funcționează: reparare rapidă, apreciere și verificarea disponibilității""(01:35:40) Conflictele și energia: de ce momentul contează mai mult decât tehnica""(01:39:53) De la monolog la dialog: cuplul conștient și conectarea reală""(01:42:18) Când un partener crește și celălalt nu: modelare, nu critică""(01:47:32) Brené Brown: critică sau umilire""(01:51:03) Încheiere și întrebări comunitate"

Cum ne modelează copilăria relațiile de la vârsta adultă? Gáspár György ne ghidează prin stadiile dezvoltării psihologice și bagajele cu care venim din familia de origine: nevoi neîndeplinite, mecanisme de adaptare, părți greu accesibile ale sinelui.Gáspár György este psiholog clinician, psihoterapeut relațional și autorul a șase cărți, între care Copilul Invizibil și Când Conflictul Are Sens. Co-fondator al comunității Pagina de Psihologie și al Academiei de Terapie Imago din România, Gáspár este una dintre cele mai cunoscute voci care promovează sănătatea relațională în spațiul public din România.Acesta este primul episod dintr-un sezon integral dedicat relațiilor, realizat împreună cu Pagina de Psihologie. Acest episod este produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România.În acest prim episod discutăm despre:Cele patru stadii de dezvoltare psihologică din perspectivă relațională (conectare, explorare, identitate, competență)Bagajele cu care venim în relații: nevoi neîndeplinite, adaptări, părți pierdute ale sinelui, tipare de relaționareTranziția de la sinele autonom la sinele relațional și metapersonalCele patru adevăruri despre relații și competența relaționalăResurse menționate în conversație:Carte: Terapia Imago — Știința Relațiilor de Harville Hendrix și Helen LaKelly HuntCarte: Copilul Invizibil de Gáspár GyörgyCarte: Când Conflictul Are Sens de Gáspár GyörgyCarte: Dăruiește Iubirea Care Vindecă, de Hendrix și HuntCarte: Păstrează Iubirea Pe Care Ai Găsit-o de Hendrix și HuntCarte: Lost Connections de Johann HariAutor: Carlo Rovelli (mecanică cuantică relațională)Autor: Carol Dweck (growth mindset)Autor: Lisa Feldman BarrettAutor: Daniel Siegel Intră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind ArchitectTimestamps & Capitole"(00:00) Introducere""(02:10) Cine este Gáspár György și de ce un sezon despre relații""(04:41) Stadiile de dezvoltare psihologică: perspectiva relațională""(05:50) Etapa de conectare și atașamentul evitant, anxios, securizant""(08:30) Adaptare și stil de atașament vs. natura noastră reală""(12:06) Etapa de explorare (2–3 ani): îndrăgostirea de lume""(14:26) Esther Perel, sinele erotic și explorarea în viața adultă""(15:00) Baza de siguranță și dansul dintre conectare și explorare""(18:29) Ce se întâmplă când explorarea e blocată sau nesusținută""(22:03) Cum deosebim temperamentul introvert de adaptarea evitantă""(23:55) Etapa de identitate (3–4 ani): cine sunt eu?""(25:35) De ce copiii au nevoie de oglindire, nu de corectare""(28:19) Copilul testează un rol problematic: cum răspundem""(32:26) Granițe rigide vs. difuze: cele două extreme""(37:41) Adaptări funcționale în copilărie dar disfuncționale ca adult""(38:37) Etapa de competență și putere (4–6 ani): feedback și perfecționism""(43:17) Pericolul comparației și al criticii în dezvoltarea copilului""(45:19) Cum ne influențează feedbackul din copilărie alegerile de viață""(49:22) Pasivitate sau perfecționism: adaptări la lipsa de încurajare""(52:02) Recomandări pentru aprofundarea subiectului""(53:20) Bagajele cu care venim în relații: nevoi, adaptări, maximizare și minimizare""(56:18) Avem nevoie să simțim, nu doar să auzim acceptarea""(01:01:05) Părți pierdute ale sinelui: cum pierdem bucăți din cine suntem""(01:06:30) Cum recunoaștem o parte pierdută: recurența ca indicator""(01:11:15) Tipare de relaționare inconștiente: ce am învățat despre relații acasă""(01:19:05) Respingerea unei părți a sinelui ca reacție la experiențele trăite""(01:24:27) Trei perspective asupra sinelui: autonom, relațional, metapersonal""(01:29:26) Cercetări: cu cât ești mai izolat, cu atât crește nefericirea""(01:34:39) Practici concrete pentru conectarea la sinele metapersonal""(01:40:12) Cele patru adevăruri despre relații""(01:53:05) Relația ca entitate vie: demonstrația cu foaia de hârtie și competența relațională"

This week, Ash is joined by Arielle Ford, love alchemist and best-selling author, for a heartfelt conversation about love, intimacy, and what it takes to create thriving relationships. Arielle shares her view of love as an art form, reminding us that each person is the artist of their own experiences. She reads a moving poem that frames love as a choice and daily practice, rooted in forgiveness, commitment, and truth-telling. Together, they explore the challenges of modern relationships, from choosing generous partners to navigating the decline of intimacy in today's culture, and the importance of building emotional and physical safety. The conversation highlights Wabi Sabi Love, the practice of finding beauty in imperfections and embracing quirks with creativity instead of expecting change. With insights from relationship experts like John Gottman and Harville Hendrix, Arielle and Ash discuss early warning signs of unhealthy dynamics, the need for value alignment, and why compromise, not efficiency is the foundation of lasting connection. They also explore how communication, truth-telling, and a willingness to forgive are essential for sustaining long-term love. Listeners are introduced to practices like “feelingizations” and reminded of the Harvard study proving that love and friendship not money or fame are the strongest predictors of happiness and longevity. The episode closes with a spotlight on Arielle's new novel, The Love Thief, a romantic spiritual thriller that brings her wisdom on love to life in a fast-paced, engaging story. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why love is both an art form and a daily practice. The role of forgiveness, truth, and commitment in lasting relationships. How to recognize deal breakers and red flags early on. The beauty of Wabi Sabi Love and embracing imperfections. Why communication and compromise matter more than efficiency. Insights from experts on warning signs of relationship struggles. How love and friendship not money are key to a fulfilling life.   Visit shopify.com/youturn and only pay $1 for your first month's trial. Connect with Arielle Ford Order The Love Thief Book here: https://www.arielleford.com/the-love-thief/ Website: https://www.arielleford.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arielleford_author/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArielleFordFanPage/   Connect with Ash: https://www.instagram.com/ashleystahl/ Want to become a professional speaker and skyrocket your personal brand?  Ashley's team at Wise Whisper Agency offers a done-with-you method to get your signature talk written and booked and it's helped more than 100 clients onto the TEDx stage! Head over to WiseWhisperAgency.com/speak

This week's episode features iconic relationship expert Harville Hendrix, PhD. We'll discuss his work in Imago Therapy and seminal book, Getting the Love You Want (A Guide for Couples). Harville Hendrix, PhD began his career as a therapist and educator at the Pastoral Counseling Center of Greater Chicago in 1965 where he was Clinical Director He received his doctorate in Psychology and Theology in 1970 and became a member of the faculty of Perkins Divinity School at Southern Methodist in Dallas, Texas where he taught for nine years. In 1979 he entered private practice as a therapist. In 1977, Harville met Helen LaKelly Hunt and they married in 1982. They are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, a couple's therapy and co-authors of three New York Times best sellers (Getting the Love You Want-(4 million copies); Keeping The Love You Find, and Giving The Love That Heals), Receiving Love, and Making Marriage Simple and six other books on relationships Imago Relationship Therapy has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey show seventeen times, one of which won for her the "most socially redemptive" award for daytime talk shows. It has also been featured on many other major television shows, in countless radio shows, newspapers and major magazines. Harville and Helen founded the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy to train therapist in the Imago process and to develop workshops for couples and singles. Later called the Imago International Training Institute, which was forty faculty members, the institute has trained over 2500 therapists who practice Imago Relationship Therapy in over 60 countries and nearly 200 workshop presenters who conduct workshops around the world. These Imago professionals founded Imago Relationships Worldwide for professional growth and development and created an international Imago community. In 2015, Harville co-founded, with Helen, an organization called Safe Conversations LLC. This training institute teaches a relational intervention based on the latest relational sciences that can help anyone shift from conflict to connection. Harville and Helen believe that Safe Conversations can contribute to a more relational world, with more gender and racial equity. To that end, the aim of SC LLC is to teach Safe Conversations, over the next 30 years, to 3.2 billion people (the tipping point of world population in 2050) with the intention of facilitating that shift from our current "individualistic" civilization to a relational civilization, the fourth stage in human social evolution.

This week's episode features iconic relationship expert Harville Hendrix, PhD. We'll discuss his work in Imago Therapy and seminal book, Getting the Love You Want (A Guide for Couples). Harville Hendrix, PhD began his career as a therapist and educator at the Pastoral Counseling Center of Greater Chicago in 1965 where he was Clinical Director He received his doctorate in Psychology and Theology in 1970 and became a member of the faculty of Perkins Divinity School at Southern Methodist in Dallas, Texas where he taught for nine years. In 1979 he entered private practice as a therapist. In 1977, Harville met Helen LaKelly Hunt and they married in 1982. They are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, a couple's therapy and co-authors of three New York Times best sellers (Getting the Love You Want-(4 million copies); Keeping The Love You Find, and Giving The Love That Heals), Receiving Love, and Making Marriage Simple and six other books on relationships Imago Relationship Therapy has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey show seventeen times, one of which won for her the "most socially redemptive" award for daytime talk shows. It has also been featured on many other major television shows, in countless radio shows, newspapers and major magazines. Harville and Helen founded the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy to train therapist in the Imago process and to develop workshops for couples and singles. Later called the Imago International Training Institute, which was forty faculty members, the institute has trained over 2500 therapists who practice Imago Relationship Therapy in over 60 countries and nearly 200 workshop presenters who conduct workshops around the world. These Imago professionals founded Imago Relationships Worldwide for professional growth and development and created an international Imago community. In 2015, Harville co-founded, with Helen, an organization called Safe Conversations LLC. This training institute teaches a relational intervention based on the latest relational sciences that can help anyone shift from conflict to connection. Harville and Helen believe that Safe Conversations can contribute to a more relational world, with more gender and racial equity. To that end, the aim of SC LLC is to teach Safe Conversations, over the next 30 years, to 3.2 billion people (the tipping point of world population in 2050) with the intention of facilitating that shift from our current "individualistic" civilization to a relational civilization, the fourth stage in human social evolution.

Imago Relationship Theory claims we all have a mental "dating app" in our subconscious where the algorithm is secretly set to "parental lookalike mode."Essentially, we swipe right on people who remind us of our parents—because why not add a sprinkle of childhood trauma to the romance cocktail, right? Shan Marchant is a couples therapist and relationship expert, who you might recognise from the BBC's Point of View, or her writing for Metro.She uses Imago Relationship Therapy, after witnessing its ability to repair and revive her own 13+ year relationship. During our conversation we delve into why we often choose partners who resemble one or both of our parents as these familiar traits spark chemistry, but the twist is that we're not just looking for love; we're signing up for a self-improvement bootcamp. According to Harville Hendrix and his partner Helen, who invented Imago, relationships are less about happily-ever-after and more about healing those childhood wounds. So, if your partner seems oddly familiar, congratulations—you've matched with your Imago! Time for the work to begin…You can find Shan here: https://www.shanmerchant.com/If you enjoy our conversation, let me know!00:00 Introduction to Imago Therapy and Its Concepts02:55 Navigating Power Struggles in Relationships06:13 The Importance of Prioritising Your Partner08:48 Recognising Relationship Patterns and Taking Action11:56 Reigniting Desire and Intimacy Over Time14:57 Understanding Infidelity and Its Implications18:11 The Role of Couples Therapy in Modern Relationships20:59 Building Emotional Intelligence in Relationships23:56 The Journey of Self-Acceptance and Affection26:57 Conclusion and Resources for CouplesIf you'd like access to exclusive features like personal posts, my new 32 page booklet, Sex Toys & Supplements for Thriving in Later Life, my private chat room, direct messaging for your burning questions, and Substack Live sessions with expert guests, consider becoming a paid subscriber! Your sex life will thank you for it. :)Annual membership is just £49.99 (a better deal than £6.99/month) and supports the work behind creating weekly podcasts, managing social media, collaborating with health professionals, and producing valuable resources. This isn't just a hobby—it's my passion and profession.Thousands of people are finally talking about intimacy, desire and pleasure without shame. Join them - subscribe now and you'll receive my freebie - Top 10 Overlooked Secrets to Better SexYour subscription helps empower older individuals to feel sexually confident and access tools for pain-free, pleasurable intimacy.What others are saying:"I just finished listening to your podcast! I felt like I was sitting around the dinner table with friends, finally able to talk about what no one else does."“First of all, let me tell you how awesome I think you are and how valuable I think your Substack is.”“Your work is one of my new found joys. Thank you.” Get full access to Sex Advice for Seniors at www.sexadviceforseniors.com/subscribe

The sisters are thrilled to welcome Dean Spade to the show! He has been working to build queer and trans liberation based in racial and economic justice for the past two decades. He is a professor at the Seattle University School of Law and author of the new book, Love in a Fucked Up World: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell, Together.Dean and Autumn and adrienne discuss holding anxiety in your body, literally touching and flirting with trees, the most exciting thing on your horizon, giving eachother what we need, self-authorizing, the dangers of isolation, why we become relationship monsters, love as a psychedelic journey, how our childhoods play into our patterns, Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, everyone needing good, quality attention, the exclusivity spell, normalizing jealousy, locating our personal sore spots and whether we're gonna be able to move together enough to stop these ecocidal maniacs bent on killing us all!---⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TRANSCRIPT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠---⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUPPORT OUR SHOW⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Endoftheworldshow---HTS ESSENTIALS⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUPPORT Our Show on Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Endoftheworldshow⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PEEP us on IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/endoftheworldpc/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠

EVEN MORE about this episode!Ready to fall in love again—at any age? Join the Golden Dating Doctors, Drs. Gloria Horsley and Frank Powers, as they share heartwarming stories and powerful insights from their book Open to Love: The Secrets of Senior Dating. From Gloria's journey of healing after losing her husband of 60 years to finding love with Frank online, this episode dives deep into the emotional, spiritual, and practical sides of dating later in life.Discover how to navigate love after loss or divorce, overcome societal stigma, and integrate new relationships into existing family dynamics. Gloria and Frank's candid reflections and personal experiences illuminate the beauty of second chances, the magic of signs from loved ones on the other side (hello, dimes!), and the incredible resilience of the heart.Whether you're newly single, dating again, or simply curious about love's evolution over time, this episode offers inspiration, humor, and real-world tips—including how a “dating buddy” can boost your confidence and how online dating can lead to unexpected joy.Guest Biography:Gloria Horsley, PhD is a licensed marriage and family therapist, clinical nurse specialist, and cofounder of the Open to Hope Foundation. She co-hosts the award-winning Open to Hope podcast and has authored or co-authored 10 books on grief and healing. A former faculty member at the University of Rochester and the Academy of Intuition Medicine, Gloria also serves on advisory boards for TAPS and the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation. Widowed after 60 years of marriage, she is the mother of four (including a deceased son) and grandmother to ten. She lives between Palo Alto, CA, and Scottsdale, AZ with her partner, Dr. Frank Powers.Frank Powers, PhD is a licensed psychologist with over 30 years in private practice in Scottsdale, AZ. A former professor and chairman of Arizona's Psychiatric Security Review Board, he trained in couples' therapy with Harville Hendrix's Imago Institute and studied under pioneering sex researchers Masters and Johnson. Frank holds degrees from George Williams College, Arizona State, Columbia, and Union Institute. An award-winning sculptor, he enjoys golf, pickleball, and tennis, and is stepfather to two daughters and a step-grandson.Episode Chapters:(0:00:01) - Golden Dating Doctors Share Their Journey(0:13:28) - Navigating Divorce, Grief, and New Love(0:26:36) - Signs and Miracles(0:29:47) - Finding Love After Loss(0:43:43) - Navigating Dating (0:50:49) - Love and Relationships After Loss(0:56:35) - Intimacy in New RelationshipsSubscribe to Ask Julie Ryan YouTubeSubscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Español YouTubeSubscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Português YouTubeSubscribe to Ask Julie Ryan Deutsch YouTube✏️Ask Julie a Question!

Have you ever had a conversation where it seemed like you and the other person kept misunderstanding one another? At some point, it may have even felt like you were speaking two different languages. This is a challenge that pops up in many marriages—after all, there's a reason why people say men and women could be from different planets!Teaching others how to have safe conversations is a passion of ours, as this skill has played a big role in taking our marriage to the next level. You may have heard us teach about this topic if you've done coaching with us or attended one of our No More Perfect Marriages Seminars. Today, we're honored to speak with two professionals whose work has significantly shaped the way couples everywhere approach healthy dialogue.Harville Hendrix, Ph.D, and Helen Hunt, Ph.D., are the creators of Safe Conversations®, a training institute focused on relational intervention. They are the co-authors of three New York Times bestsellers, including Getting the Love You Want, which has sold over four million copies. Married for over 40 years, they have six children and seven grandchildren, and they split their time between Dallas and New York City.In this episode, you'll hear:Why it's important to listen more than we speakThe elements of a safe conversationTwo things you can try during your next “negative” conversationAnd more!We are thrilled to have gotten the opportunity to sit down with the two people who laid the groundwork for our understanding of safe conversations!Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: jillsavage.org/hendrix-hunt-241Check out our other resources: Mark and Jill's Marriage Story Marriage Coaching Marriage 2.0 Intensives Speaking Schedule Book Mark and Jill to Speak Online Courses Books Marriage Resources: Infidelity Recovery For Happy Marriages For Hurting Marriages For Marriages Where You're the Only One Wanting to Get Help Mom Resources: New/Preschool Moms Moms with Gradeschoolers Moms with Teens and Tweens Moms with Kids Who Are Launching Empty Nest...

Dr Neecie Moore  Dr. Neecie has a rich history of leadership in businesses that make a difference. She has owned and operated inpatient and outpatient treatment centers; mentored start-up high tech companies; researched alternative and complimentary nutritional solutions; and consulted with the only company with a viable fuel cell technology in massive production. As an experienced and respected results-oriented trainer, she has trained coaches, wellness advocates and businesses all over the world. Dr. Neecie not only speaks authoritatively on Life / Trauma Coaching, but she is also an extraordinary trainer and motivator. She has the rare ability to connect on a deep level with an audience immediately and can take a room full of diverse opinions and meld those opinions into a solid course of action. Her warmth and humor make learning an entertaining experience. She earned her PhD in psychology as a marriage and family therapist, specializing in addiction and trauma recovery. Master Coaching Institute was born out of Dr. Neecie's desire to assist people of all ages, marriages, families, and businesses to discover and excel at their purpose and mission. She has been honored with countless awards (such as Outstanding Women of American, America's Outstanding Names and Faces, Giving Heart Award, The President's List, The Human Service Provider of the Year), and has been recognized and certified by great leaders in her field (such as Dr. Patricia Love, Dr. Harville Hendrix, Pia Mellody, Tony Robbins, Dr. John Bradshaw). In her typical fashion, while she smiles at and is grateful for such awards, she is most honored by her opportunity to personally touch the children at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro (and follow up with a project that got nutritional supplements to the village struggling with HIV). Or the privilege of serving individuals and families struggling with “hurts, habits and hang ups” through her Marriage & Addictions program. Dr. Neecie's purpose of emanating the healing power of love and healing is evidenced by her dedication to those in need of recovery from trauma. Her dedication to training and certifying Life / Trauma Coaches is part of her desire to see “no one who has experienced trauma to be left behind without the healing they deserve.” She has trained thousands of Coaches over the past 25 years. She is also a high-level health and wellness author of nine best-selling books (in her niche market). As a world-traveled lecturer, radio and television personality, business executive and consultant, professional Christian singer, interpreter for the deaf … Dr. Neecie demonstrates the power of living life with purpose and with great passion! Link to Show Notes on Website https://fabulouslyketo.com/podcast/231. Dr Neecie’s Books What’s A Nice Person Like Me Doing In A Body Like This? Bountiful Health, Boundless Energy, Brilliant Youth The Miracle in Aloe Vera The Missing Link: The Facts about Glyconutrients Designing Your Life with Designer Foods: The Facts about Phytonutrients A Long and Healthy Life: The facts about High Level Wellness Dr Neecie’s Top Tips Never settle for less than you desire and you deserve. Eat to live a long, long time. Keep your mind sharp – learn something new every day. There is something in you that will make a difference to the world. Resources Mentioned Dr Neecie mentioned my private group Connect with Dr Neecie Moore on social media Facebook Profile: https://www.facebook.com/drneecie/ Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/DrNeecieMoore/ Website Details: https://www.drneecie.com The Fabulously Keto Diet & Lifestyle Journal: A 12-week journal to support new habits – Jackie Fletcher If you have enjoyed listening to this episode – Leave us a review By leaving us a review on your favourite podcast platform, you help us to be found by others. Support Jackie Help Jackie make more episodes by supporting her. If you wish to support her we have various options from one off donations to becoming a Super Fabulously Keto Podcast Supporter with coaching and support. Check out this page for lots of different ways to support the podcast. https://fabulouslyketo.com/support Or You can find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon. com/FabulouslyKeto Connect with us on social media https://www.facebook.com/FabulouslyKeto https://www.instagram.com/FabulouslyKeto1 https://twitter.com/FabulouslyKeto Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/FabulouslyKeto Music by Bob Collum Recommend a guest We would love to know if you have a favourite guest you would like us to interview. Let us know who you would like to hear of if you have a particular topic you would like us to cover. https://fabulouslyketo.com/recommend-a-guest We sometimes get a small commission on some of the links, this goes towards the costs of producing the podcast.

In this episode, we explore the profound insights of Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix, trailblazers in relationship transformation and the minds behind the IMAGO theory.Join us as we delve into their lifelong mission of spreading dialogue that transforms not just relationships, but the world. We'll uncover their journey, from nearly divorcing to a heartfelt recommitment that underscores the power of authentic communication and positivity within couples. Together, we'll unpack strategies to turn differences into opportunities for growth and harmony, aiming for a truly connected partnership.Key Themes Discussed:- The pivotal role of dialogue in fostering healthy, transparent relationships- Understanding and embracing differences as opportunities for mutual growth- Techniques to transition from reactive feelings to proactive, compassionate communication- The transformative power of positive affirmations and creating new, positive memoriesTimestamps:01:30 The driving force behind Harville and Helen's ongoing mission10:01 Embracing and understanding difference in relationships28:20 The power of positive language and memories in nurturing a relationship40:21 Moving from reactive to creative brain through dialogue trainingWant to transform your relationship and take it to the next level?Join my online course here.Harville and Helen on InstagramHarville and Helen's WebsiteMy Socials:Nick Solaczek on InstagramNick Solaczek on YouTubeNick Solaczek on Facebook

Have you ever wondered why we are drawn to people who challenge us the most?   In this episode, I sit down with Harville and Helen Hendricks, the minds behind Imago Relationship Therapy, to explore why we unconsciously attract partners who reflect our childhood wounds. We dive into how early experiences shape our relationships, why conflict is not the problem but an opportunity, and how we can create safety and connection instead of distance and frustration.   We talk about how the brain is wired for survival, why negativity is the biggest relationship killer, and how structured dialogue can transform the way we connect. Harville and Helen share practical tools to move from blame to understanding, helping us see our differences as a strength, not a weakness. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or struggling to communicate, this episode will shift how you see love and connection.   Stick around for a conversation that challenges common myths about relationships and offers real solutions to build deeper intimacy. Plus, we discuss their new project that ensures their work will live on for future generations. If you've ever felt stuck in a relationship pattern, this is an episode you don't want to miss.   === GUEST LINKS  Instagram: @harvilleandhelen Website: harvilleandhelen.com Taplink: https://taplink.cc/harvilleandhelen === Have you watched our previous episode with my husband, Emilio? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bjHpRB-z0n0?si=aE-0dyDq5F40hge9 ==== Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this video. Copyright 2023, Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - All rights reserved.  === Website: alyssanobriga.com Instagram: @alyssanobriga  TikTok - @alyssanobriga Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6b5s2xbA2d3pETSvYBZ9YR  Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-human-potential/id1705626495

Effective communication is the foundation of every strong relationship, yet so many of us struggle to truly be heard and understood. Renowned relationship experts and authors Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt return to share their groundbreaking insights on how dialogue can transform the way we connect. Drawing from their latest book, How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations, they break down the power of Imago Dialogue, the role of safety in communication, and why curiosity is the key to bridging differences. From deepening intimacy in romantic relationships to fostering understanding in a divided world, this conversation is packed with powerful tools to help you listen, connect, and create lasting change in the way you relate to others. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally respected as couple's therapists, educators, speakers, activists, and New York Times bestselling authors, their 10 books, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Helen was installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. They have six children and eight grandchildren. —Harville & Helen's Previous Episode: https://markgroves.com/episode/the-couple-who-changed-how-i-relate-lessons-from-the-godparents-of-love/  —Harville & Helen's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/  —Harville & Helen's Website: https://harvilleandhelen.com/ —Harville & Helen's Website | Safe Conversations: https://quantumconnections.com  —Harville & Helen's Website | Imago Relationship: https://imagorelationships.org/  —Harville & Helen's Book: How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/how-to-talk-with-anyone-about-anything/  Resources: — Deepen your connections and spark meaningful conversations with the Create The Love card deck — designed to inspire self-reflection, vulnerability, and deeper intimacy in your relationships. https://createthelove.com/getcards  —Ready to transform your relationships? Download The Relationship Toolkit for free and learn the 5 essential skills to thrive in love and life! https://go.markgroves.com/relationship-toolkit-podcast   —Ready to stop chasing emotionally unavailable people? Download your free guide to break the cycle and call in the relationship you crave: https://go.markgroves.com/unavailable-people-opt-in-podcast  —Learn the connection between Attachment Styles, how it affects the Nervous System, AND how you can heal it: .https://go.markgroves.com/nervous-system-opt-in-podcast  If you want to dive deeper into Mark's content, search through every episode, find specific topics we've covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://ask.markgroves.com This episode is sponsored by: —Cozy Earth: Use code MARK for 40% off sitewide at http://www.cozyearth.com —IIN: Use code MARKGROVES20 for 20% off ALL courses from IIN & Chopra at http://bit.ly/MARKIIN —Mighty Networks: Go to http://www.markgroves.com/mightynetworks to learn how you can create your own community! Contact us at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From January 8, 1993: Oprah interviews self-help author and Oprah Show regular guest Harville Hendrix, who teaches us how to make our relationships not only last longer, but become happier. He talks about overcoming trust issues, childhood wounds appearing in adulthood and how marriage is a structure for healing. He also works with several couples on making their love last and discusses his books Getting The Love You Want and Keeping The Love You Find. Oprah explains how Getting the Love You Want helped improve her relationship with Stedman Graham. Of Harville's work, Oprah says, “I saw relationships not solely as the kind of romantic pursuit our society celebrates, but as a spiritual partnership that's meant to change how you see yourself and the world.” Harville is a New York Times best-selling author, international speaker and couples therapist with more than 40 years of experience as an educator, clinical trainer and lecturer who has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show 17 times. 

Unlocking Relationship Secrets: Communication, Childhood Patterns, and Dating Advice with Michelle Bohls Michellebohls.com About the Guest(s): Michelle Bohls is a seasoned licensed marriage and family therapist with over 15 years of experience in her field. Prior to her therapeutic practice, Michelle worked with executives to help them navigate career changes and build effective teams. She is part of an international faculty teaching "Imago," a system of relationship intelligence based on the bestselling book "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix and Helen Kelley Hunt. Michelle is deeply passionate about exploring topics such as intuition, money relationships, and romantic connections. Her insights into human interactions have helped countless individuals and couples lead more fulfilling lives. Episode Summary: In this enlightening episode of The Chris Voss Show, host Chris Voss welcomes Michelle Bohls, an expert in relationship intelligence, to discuss the core principles of building sustainable and meaningful relationships. Michelle shares insights from her extensive experience as a marriage and family therapist and touches on themes from the book "Getting the Love You Want." As the conversation unfolds, listeners are treated to a deep dive into understanding the dynamics of personal belief systems, communication challenges, and childhood influences that impact adult relationships. Michelle's expertise provides invaluable guidance for couples and singles alike, offering strategies to foster healthier connections. The episode covers essential topics surrounding relationship dynamics and personal growth. Through candid discussions, Chris and Michelle address common pitfalls in communication and the unconscious belief systems that often dictate our emotional responses and relational patterns. Michelle underscores the importance of understanding unmet needs rooted in childhood experiences, which she likens to a GPS guiding individuals' life choices. This knowledge empowers listeners to embark on a journey of self-discovery, offering them the tools to make more conscious and rewarding relationship decisions. Key Takeaways: Understanding Relationship Dynamics: Recognizing the influence of childhood experiences and unmet needs on adult relationships is crucial for fostering meaningful connections. Communication as a Skill: Effective communication is more about genuine listening and understanding rather than just solving problems or fulfilling one's own agenda. Belief Systems and Personal Development: Our belief systems, developed early on, play a significant role in how we perceive relationships and navigate life changes. Navigating Modern Dating Challenges: The current dating culture involves overcoming option overload and focusing on genuine connections instead of superficial interactions. Building Awareness and Initiating Change: A conscious approach to relationships, supported by tools such as therapy or workshops, can significantly improve personal and relational well-being. Notable Quotes: "Most couples are struggling with an attitude problem… You should be perfect. You should meet all my needs." - Michelle Bohls "Understanding what shaped us early on, what are these needs that were not met… that is operating like a GPS." - Michelle Bohls "Relationships are supposed to be a team sport… when love shows up fully ready to meet your needs, you're like, hmm, no, I gotta pass." - Michelle Bohls "We unconsciously create our greatest fears… we recreate the patterns that we lived through early on unconsciously." - Michelle Bohls "A weekend workshop is great… uncover the trauma buried pretty deep and work through it in a supportive environment." - Michelle Bohls

In this episode of So I Married a Relationship Expert, Zach and Laura get personal with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—relationship experts who don't just teach about marriage, they live it. Get ready for an intimate look at the ups and downs of their own marriage. Spoiler: it wasn't all smooth sailing!Harville and Helen open up about the times they nearly got divorced—twice! At one point, they even had divorce papers ready to go. But what saved them? They teach couples the very same techniques around the world. You'll hear how a random trip to a bookstore and a “zero negativity” experiment helped them find their way back to each other. Helen also shares a funny story about trying to "fix" Harville by reorganizing his books and closet—only to realize she was driving him crazy!From learning to approach frustrations with curiosity instead of criticism to recommitting in a powerful New Year's Eve ceremony, their journey is full of relatable moments and inspiring takeaways. It's a beautiful reminder that even experts have to work on their relationships, just like the rest of us.What You'll Learn: How Harville and Helen used their own tools to avoid divorce—twice! The story of their “zero negativity” pact and how it transformed their relationship. Why curiosity and asking your partner the right questions can change everything. The power of recommitment—even after decades together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of So I Married a Relationship Expert, Zach and Laura get personal with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—relationship experts who don't just teach about marriage, they live it. Get ready for an intimate look at the ups and downs of their own marriage. Spoiler: it wasn't all smooth sailing! Harville and Helen open up about the times they nearly got divorced—twice! At one point, they even had divorce papers ready to go. But what saved them? They teach couples the very same techniques around the world. You'll hear how a random trip to a bookstore and a “zero negativity” experiment helped them find their way back to each other. Helen also shares a funny story about trying to "fix" Harville by reorganizing his books and closet—only to realize she was driving him crazy! From learning to approach frustrations with curiosity instead of criticism to recommitting in a powerful New Year's Eve ceremony, their journey is full of relatable moments and inspiring takeaways. It's a beautiful reminder that even experts have to work on their relationships, just like the rest of us. What You'll Learn: How Harville and Helen used their own tools to avoid divorce—twice! The story of their “zero negativity” pact and how it transformed their relationship. Why curiosity and asking your partner the right questions can change everything. The power of recommitment—even after decades together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Conflict happens. Especially when differentiation and individuation are parts of your personal and relational journeys. And that's a good thing! Enter Imago Dialogue, a communication tool created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. Not only can it transform your communication, using Imago Dialogue can transform conflict into more connection. Whether you're practicing Imago Dialogue with a romantic partner, family member, or friend, the core idea behind it is something a lot of us have talked about before: I want to feel understood. I want you to understand me! We walk through the steps of Imago Dialogue, but we also go deeper and talk about how you can set yourself up for success. We talk about practical tools, like emotional regulation techniques, to use before and after your conversation, and we walk through an entire real-life, real-time example of using Imago Dialogue. Learn more about Dr. Harville Hendrix's and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt's work here: ⁠www.HarvilleAndHelen.com⁠ JOIN The Year of Opening community for a full year of learning & support. Registration is open now at ⁠⁠⁠www.TheYearOfOpening.com⁠⁠⁠ Learn the ⁠5 secrets to open your relationship the smart way⁠ Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at ⁠www.JoliQuiz.com⁠ Get the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! ⁠Sign up for an Ask Me Anything here⁠ Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠⁠Blue Dot Sessions

Send us a textGot holidays? Then you need moxie to get through them. The expectations, the standards, and the idealized version of the season can wear us down. Not anymore! This episode of Main Street Moxie with Sara Cousins is here to help you celebrate the holidays in line with your values and priorities, leaving you saner and less depleted as you enter 2025. Sara shares strategies and techniques to help us hold space for ourselves while finding connection with others during this holiday season and throughout the year.Sara is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience in private practice in Lakeville, Connecticut. For a decade, she's been the go-to mental health professional for Main Street Magazine.Sara's diverse career journey has taken her from working with Inuit youth in Alaska to serving communities through the Susan B. Anthony Project in Torrington, Harlem Hospital in Manhattan, and Victim Services of NYC. Across all her roles, she has been inspired by the resilience and vulnerability of the people she has served.Specializing in relational and couples therapy, Sara has been trained by renowned experts, including Esther Perel, Tara Brach, Orna Guralnik, Terry Real, John Gottman, and Harville Hendrix. She is also deeply committed to mindfulness and meditation, drawing on over 20 years of training with Mingyur Rinpoche. She has attended workshops and trainings with Pema Chödrön, Jack Kornfield, and Tim Olmsted.Outside her professional life, Sara embraces new challenges and adventures. She recently joined the Norfolk Curling Club to try curling, a sport much more challenging and painful than it looks on TV!This episode of Main Street Moxie is proudly sponsored by Main Street Magazine.Support the show

In this episode, I sit down with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt—pioneering relationship experts and creators of Imago Therapy—to explore the profound ways our childhood experiences shape our adult relationships. Together, we dive into the dynamics of attraction, communication, and healing, offering practical tools to help you transform your relationship into a conscious and fulfilling partnership. What you'll learn: Why we are often drawn to partners who reflect both the positive and negative traits of our caregivers—and how this impacts relationship dynamics. The role of Imago Therapy in helping couples heal past wounds and strengthen their connection. Practical communication strategies, including the "Safe Conversations" framework, to foster empathy and reduce conflict. Insights into two-way healing and how relationships can become a pathway to personal and mutual growth. Whether you're single, in a new relationship, or years into a partnership, this episode offers transformative insights and actionable advice to help you create the loving connection you've always wanted. Join us as we unpack the keys to unlocking deeper intimacy, mutual healing, and lasting love. FOLLOW: IG: https://www.instagram.com/love.uncensored.podcast/IG: https://www.instagram.com/nicolecolantonicoaching/  W. www.nicolecolantoni.com Join the private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/231424128600095 GUEST LINKS:IG: https://www.instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/W: https://harvilleandhelen.com/B: https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The type of love we receive in childhood is imprinted in our brains. Early feelings and emotions color every single action we take in our adult lives unless we rewire our neural pathways. The way we communicate and the quality of our relationships can be improved. When we understand that we deserve love, we can be our fully vulnerable, beautiful selves with our partners to create long-lasting, happy, fulfilling relationships. To discover how to transform relationships through love and connection, Harvesting Happiness Podcast host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with a couple who have done the work toward creating better relationships for themselves and others, Doctors Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Harville and Helen met 42 years ago and have since created Imago Relationship Therapy and written the eternal book, Get the Love You Want. They serve as guides for those who want to heal and transform their relationships through love and communication.

In this episode with world-famous relationship experts Harville Hendrix and Hele LaKelly Hunt, we get into the interpersonal nature of trauma and how to set the stage to heal it (or at least not retrigger it) in your most intimate relationships. We discuss: How to foster safety in your relationships The difference between how we usually talk to each other and true dialogue What nature can teach us about communication The biggest problem most couples have What our childhood trauma does to predict our future partner How to diffuse tension in your relationship Why we should make an appointment when we want to discuss our needs with our partner And so much more... Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple's therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and their newest book How to Talk with Anyone about Anything. In addition, Harville has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Harville and Helen co-created Imago Relationship Therapy to promote the transformation of couples and families by a creating relational culture that support universal equality. In addition, they've developed resources that help couples, families, and educators strengthen their relationship knowledge and skills. They are the co-founders of Imago Relationships International, a non-profit organization that has trained over 2,000 therapists and educators in 51 countries around the world. Harville and Helen are co-creators of Safe Conversations®, which helps people learn how to talk without criticism, listen without judgment, and connect beyond differences. Using a simple three-step process, they teach people how to become more present in all of their relationships. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your support is deeply appreciated! Find me, Lara, on my Website / Instagram You can support this podcast with any level of donation here. Order The Essential Guide to Trauma Sensitive Yoga: How to Create Safer Spaces for All Opening and Closing music: Other People's Photographs courtesy of Daniel Zaitchik. Follow Daniel on Spotify.

Chapter 1:Summary of Getting the Love You Want"Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" by Harville Hendrix is a self-help book focused on improving romantic relationships. The book presents the idea that many conflicts in relationships stem from unmet childhood needs and patterns that influence adult behavior. Key Concepts:1. Imago Relationship Theory: Hendrix introduces the concept of "imago," which refers to the unconscious image we carry of our ideal partner based on our early childhood experiences. This image often leads us to select partners who reflect our caregivers' traits—both positive and negative.2. Conflict in Relationships: Conflict arises when partners act out unresolved issues from their past. These patterns can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in relationships.3. Healing Through Communication: The book emphasizes the importance of conscious communication. Hendrix introduces tools like the "Imago Dialogue" process, which helps couples communicate effectively and empathetically, allowing for deeper understanding and connection.4. The Power of Empathy: By fostering empathy, couples can bridge emotional gaps and support each other's healing processes. The book guides readers in developing this crucial skill.5. Revisiting Childhood Wounds: Hendrix encourages couples to explore their childhood experiences and how they impact their current relationship dynamics, promoting healing and growth.6. Learning to Appreciate Differences: The book highlights the value of recognizing and appreciating differences in partners, encouraging a mindset that views challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats. Practical Tools:- Imago Dialogue: A structured communication technique that involves listening and reflecting back what the partner has said to ensure understanding.- Exercises and Worksheets: The book includes various exercises designed to help couples apply the concepts and improve their emotional connection.Overall, "Getting the Love You Want" serves as a practical and insightful guide for couples seeking to deepen their understanding of each other, enhance their communication, and foster lasting intimacy.Chapter 2:The Theme of Getting the Love You Want"Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" is a self-help book by Harville Hendrix, designed to help couples understand and improve their relationships through a variety of techniques and insights. While it is not a narrative work with a traditional plot, it presents key ideas about relationship dynamics, personal growth, and emotional healing. Here are some key points regarding its content: Key Plot Points (Conceptual Framework)1. Understanding Your Childhood Influence: Hendrix explores how early relationships with caregivers shape our expectations and behaviors in adult romantic relationships. Couples are encouraged to identify their childhood wounds and how these affect their current partnerships.2. The “Imago” Concept: Central to the book is the idea of the "imago," which refers to the unconscious template we develop based on our early relationships. This template influences whom we are attracted to and how we behave in romantic relationships.3. The Stages of Relationships: Hendrix outlines the various stages couples go through:- Romantic Love: Initial infatuation that evolves into deeper connection.- Power Struggle: When differences emerge and conflicts arise.- True Love: Reaching a mature connection where understanding and acceptance flourish.4. Communication Techniques: The book teaches specific communication tools, such as the "Imago Dialogue," to enhance understanding and empathy between partners. This structured communication aims to reduce conflict and promote emotional safety.5. The Role of Intentionality:...

Are you struggling to develop deep connections with others? Tune in for an inspiring discussion with Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, on their new book How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations.Moments with Marianne airs in the Southern California area on KMET1490AM & 98.1 FM, an ABC Talk News Radio affiliate! Harville Hendrix, PhD, & Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, co-created Imago Relationship Theory and co-founded Safe Conversations LLC in 2015, a training institute focused on relational intervention. They are co-authors of three New York Times best sellers, including Getting the Love You Want,  which has sold over four million copies. Married for 40 years, they have six children, seven grandchildren, and split their time between Dallas and New York City. Dr. Hendrix holds degrees from Mercer University, Union Theological Seminary, and the University of Chicago, and has received numerous honors, including the Distinguished Contribution Award. Dr. Hunt earned her doctorate in Women's History from Union Theological Seminary and was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame in 1994 for her role in the global women's movement. https://harvilleandhelen.com https://safeconversations.comFor more show information visit: www.MariannePestana.com#book #newbook #bookclub #mustread #wellbeing #mentalhealth #selfdiscover #selfhelp #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment #relationships #connection #talk #conflictmanagement #psychology #communication #socialskills 

Today, Jillian welcomes two very special guests—Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. As internationally renowned authors and relationship experts, Harville and Helen have spent decades helping people build healthier, more connected relationships, and today, we're discussing their newest book, How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations. In a world that's become increasingly divided and disconnected, their revolutionary approach to dialogue offers us a way back to empathy, understanding, and true connection. Be sure to check out their new book How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations. Pre-order Jillian's book "It Begins with You" at https://www.jillianturecki.com/book ~~ Follow the show on Instagram: @jillianonlove Email the show at hello@jillianonlove.com  Subscribe to Jillian on Love+ on Apple Podcasts or Patreon Find Resources mentioned in the show at the Jillian on Love Recommendations Follow Jillian Turecki on Instagram: @jillianturecki TikTok: @jillian.turecki X: @JillianTurecki Visit her website at jillianturecki.com ~~ Jillian On Love is brought to you by QCODE. To advertise on the show, contact us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever needed to have a conversation but felt terrified to carry it out? I'm sure that like all of us, you have. The sad thing is that few of us ever learned how to have difficult conversations. Fear not—help is here! Two people who are experts at dealing with difficult conversations are the guests on this very episode. They are no strangers to this topic, nor are they strangers to SuperPsyched! They are none other than the powerful duo of Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Many years ago, they wrote the classic book Getting the Love You Want. I give this book out frequently to people at my practice and it yields great results. And Harville has been on the Oprah Winfrey show several times, the first of which became the episode that led Oprah to her first Emmy Award! You will hear in this interview how these two masters of couple therapy have applied their tool called Safe Conversations to any type of potentially dangerous conversation: at the workplace, at home, or with friends talking about political differences that might get heated! I like thinking of Safe Conversations as being personal protective equipment to handle potentially combustible topics! Their new book is called How to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations. I loved the book and was blown away by how applicable their technology for having Safe Conversations can be to any relationship. So, listen in and learn how Harville and Helen can help you talk to anyone about anything.

Holidays and elections mean tough conversations – it'd be great to have some tools to navigate them. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt are counselors who specialize in creating safe spaces for conversations, and they join host Krys Boyd to discuss why you should avoid negative comments at all costs, how to grow with your partner to better understand their point of view and how to hear people out without becoming enemies. Their book is “How to Talk with Anyone About Anything: The Practice of Safe Conversations.” And later in the hour, we'll talk with a researcher who studies social interactions about how to navigate everything from small talk to customer service to a doctor's office visit.

E367 – "Inner Voice: A Heartfelt Chat with Dr. Foojan." In this episode, Dr. Foojan Zeine chats with Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Imago Relationship Theory and Therapy co-creators. In 2015, Harville and Helen also co-founded Safe Conversations LLC--a training institute that teaches a relational intervention based on the latest relational sciences that can help anyone shift from conflict to connection. Harville and Helen are co-authors of three New York Times bestsellers, including Getting the Love You Want, which has sold more than four million copies, and multiple other books on relationships. Harville graduated from Mercer University in Macon, Georgia, which awarded him an Honorary Doctorate of Human Letters. He holds a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary in New York and an M.A. and a Ph.D. in Psychology and Religion from The School of Divinity at the University of Chicago. Harville received several honors, including the Outstanding Pastoral Counselor of the Year Award from the American Baptist Churches and the Distinguished Contribution Award from the American Association of Pastoral Counselors. Helen earned her doctorate in Women's History from Union Theological Seminary in NYC. In addition to her partnerships with Harville, Helen is one of a small army of women who helped seed the women's funding movement. She was inducted into the National Women's Hall of Fame in 1994 for her contribution to the global women's movement and into the Smithsonian Institute for creating Women Moving Millions and her leadership in creative women's philanthropy. Today, we will discuss their latest book, "How to Talk with Anyone about Anything." Visit harvilleandhelen.com or quantumconnections.com to learn more about dialogue training and the global social movement. 20 Best California Mental Health Podcasts https://podcasts.feedspot.com/california_mental_health_podcasts/ Check out my website: www.FoojanZeine.com, www.AwarenessIntegration.com, www.Foojan.com

We live in a very noisy world. It gets louder every single day, and it seems like everybody is talking and no one is listening. And that may be the number one cause of divorce. It's not, any other issues inside the home. It's how they're dealing with those issues in the home. A couple who believe that strongly are my next guests, Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

What happens when we listen and are listened to more fully, forging a deeper connection? Decades of research tell us that the brain undergoes physiological changes when we begin to “talk without criticizing, listen without judgment, and connect beyond difference.” This is the definition of dialogue coined by today's guests, Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt and Dr. Harville Hendrix. Doctors Hunt and Hendrix are internationally recognized couples therapists, educators, speakers, and a married couple themselves. Through decades of research, they developed the Imago Relationship Therapy method, which is taught to therapists around the globe. In this episode, they speak with Dr. Alexandra about moving from monologue (turning the conversation to focus on oneself) to dialogue (keeping the conversation focused on the speaker), and how listening and ensuring true understanding of a speaker's meaning has enormous benefits to our relationships and our brains.Relevant Links:Harville and Helen's new book, How To Talk to Anyone About Anything - https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/how-to-talk-with-anyone-about-anything/Learn more about Imago Relationship Therapy - https://harvilleandhelen.com/initiatives/what-is-imago/Explore Safe Conversations, A Methodology for Connecting - https://safeconversations.com/Order Dr. Alexandra's latest book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra's NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Join Dr. Alexandra's five-day retreat with the Modern Elder Academy — Get 10% off with code 'GF10'Try Kion Aminos risk-free for 60-days with a money-back guarantee. Get 20% off at https://www.getkion.com/OSLP with the discount code OSLP.

Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach. Bio: Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

“One of the reasons why I think repair is such a powerful practice is because it involves the masculine capacities of awareness and reflection, combined with the feminine capacities of empathy and expression.” — John WinelandToday on Embodied Relationship Experience:Embracing the art of repair to build trust and safetyIntegrating masculine awareness and feminine empathy in repairsHow to sooth your partner's nervous system during repairsApplying structured frameworks for effective repair conversationsWays to incorporate breath work and embodiment in repairsHow to make consistent efforts to build trust and securityResources:Your Brain on Love by Stan TatkinFierce Intimacy by Terry RealImago Dialogue by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly HuntConnect with John:Instagram: @john_wineland Website: www.johnwineland.comStart with a zero-commitment 7-day trial at The Embodied Relationship Experience Membership PlatformJoin a free trial of ERE: theembodiedrelationshipexperience.comApply for TT: 1000hourteachertraining.comJoin the Art of Sacred Intimacy Portugal: johnwineland.com/the-art-of-sacred-intimacy-2024Private coaching - johnwinelandcoaching.comGet the book -  johnwineland.com/book-from-the-core

Acclaimed singer-songwriter shares insights from her journey of psychological and spiritual exploration through the lens of her song lyrics. Here she delves into themes of community, vulnerability, parenting, and living a life of service and curious inquiry. Morissette offers a powerful invitation to embrace our interconnectivity and keep the light in our eyes ablaze. Alanis Morissette is a multiple Juno and Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter. Her albums have sold over 75 million copies worldwide. Morissette's music explores themes of the feminine movement, leadership, spirituality, and self-empowerment. Her albums include Jagged Little Pill, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie, Flavors of Entanglement, Such Pretty Forks in the Road and The Storm Before the CalmInterview Date: 4/09/2024 Tags: Alanis Morissette, singer-songwriter, vulnerability, songwriting, wholeness, interconnectivity, empath, HSP, curiosity, trauma, attachment theory, Harville Hendrix, support, connection, agape, Peter Levine, Enneagram, The Hurried Child, Arianna Huffington, friendship, boundaries, silence, corrective experience, vulnerability, Elaine Aron, introversion, Internal Family Systems, parts work, Arts & Creativity, Personal Transformation, Spirituality, Women's Studies, Psychology, Parenting, Meditation

 Dr. Stan Tatkin, is a PsyD, MFT, clinician, researcher, developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT), and best-selling author of the relationship must have book, Wired for Love (second edition out June 2024), which is the complete “insider's guide” to understanding your partner's brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. His work has been endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow, Alanis Morrisette, Mark Groves, Scott Steindorff, among others.    He speaks and teaches around the world on how to understand, create and sustain secure-functioning relationships and more than 1.7 million people have tuned in to Dr. Tatkin's TEDx talk. He's authored six bestselling books, and trained thousands of therapists around the world.    Dr. Tatkin has been featured in hundreds of media outlets including TIME, Mindbodygreen, KATU, PIX11, The Knot, and more.   Dr. Tatkin is available to discuss a diverse range of topics such as:  How to keep your relationship full of love, intimacy and spice - for new relationships and those married forever!  Creating Your Couple Bubble: Ways to create a strong foundation for this ecosystem for partners.   Learning to Fight Better: How to fight while remaining on the same team and keeping things fair, just, and collaborative.   How to Achieve and Maintain Relationship Equanimity: Would you fall on the sword for your relationship?   Creating Joyful Rituals: How rituals can empower a relationship.   Brain Hacks for Better Relationships: How well do you know your partner's brain?   Marriage Training vs Marriage Therapy: How to set up your marriage for success and develop resilient relationships.    More on Dr. Tatkin   Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.     Any feedback or questions hit us up; Jamie@360yourself.co.uk community@360yourself.co.uk

In this episode, I have the absolute honor of welcoming legendary relationship experts Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt. I had to pinch myself when I met them – it was a full circle moment for me. I found Harville and Helen's work at a time in my life when I was deeply confused about relationships. I didn't know why I was so good at talking about everything but my feelings. I didn't know why I chose the people I chose or was the way I was. Harville and Helen's work and their book gave me context to my personal relational patterns and a framework for relating better. In this episode, Harville and Helen discuss the transformative power of dialogue in relationships and the importance of curiosity and open-mindedness. We explore the complexities of emotional healing and self-awareness in relationships, the concept of unconscious attraction in romantic partnerships, and how childhood needs and experiences shape adult behaviors and relationships. Tune in for a profound conversation that will surely impact the way you relate in your life moving forward. Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy and a social movement called Safe Conversations. Internationally respected as couple's therapists, educators, speakers, activists, and New York Times bestselling authors, their 10 books, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, have sold more than 4 million copies. Harville appeared on the Oprah Winfrey television program 17 times! Helen was installed in the Women's Hall of Fame and the Smithsonian Institute. They have six children and eight grandchildren. —Harville & Helen's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harvilleandhelen/ —Harville & Helen's Website: https://harvilleandhelen.com/ —Harville & Helen's Website | Safe Conversations: https:/quantumconnections.com —Harville & Helen's Website | Imago Relationship: https://imagorelationships.org/ —Harville & Helen's Book: Getting the Love You Want: https://harvilleandhelen.com/books/getting-the-love-you-want/ —Still Face Experiment: Dr. Edward Tronick: https://youtu.be/vmE3NfB_HhE?si=QivHWP9_jREexK3s&t=34 If you want to dive deeper into Mark's content, search through every episode, find specific topics we've covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: Authenticity, Belonging, Breakups, Relationships, Boundaries, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Health, Codependency, Dating, Attachment Theory, Transformation, Conflict, Parenting, Mental Health, Dialogue, Curiosity, Childhood Experiences, Unconscious Attraction, Relationship Development, Self-Awareness, Self-Care, Collaboration This episode is sponsored by BON CHARGE: Use code MARKGROVES to save 15% at http://boncharge.com/MARKGROVES Contact us at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/. How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our guest in this episode, Laurie Groh, applies her training from the Gottman Institute, Terry Real, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and others to help couples heal. Laurie's website is https://shoresidetherapies.com/.  Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer's newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Original Air Date: March 28, 2003Oprah Winfrey Show: Oprah sits down with author and couples therapist, Dr. Harville Hendrix to discuss his book Getting the Love You Want. We hear from two couples who were on the brink of breaking up. They spend two intense days with Dr. Hendrix applying techniques from his book to hopefully turn their relationship around. Want more podcasts from OWN? Visit https://bit.ly/OWNPods  You can also watch Oprah's Super Soul, The Oprah Winfrey Show and more of your favorite OWN shows on your TV! Visit https://bit.ly/find_OWN   

When you're overwhelmed, are you able to tell others what you need? In this episode, I talk with Lauren Selfridge, LMFT about creating emotionally safe, deep connections and navigating conflict and: • Translating and communicating our sensitive needs to others  • Creating emotionally safe, deep connections with HSPs and non-HSPs alike  • The value of taking breaks during conflicts to soothe your nervous system and create stronger connections in the process  • Reclaiming sensitivity as resiliency, not a sign of fragility  Lauren is an extroverted HSP and a licensed psychotherapist living with multiple sclerosis. Through her video therapy practice, she supports clients with chronic illness as well as individuals and couples wanting to build extraordinary relationships - using Imago Dialogue Developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt. Lauren also hosts This Is Not What I Ordered: a podcast on finding our way with chronic illness, loss, and change. She loves helping people create meaningful, deep, and joyful connections with themselves and the people they care about. Keep in touch with Lauren: • Website: https://laurenselfridge.com  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helloselfridge    Resources Mentioned: • Lauren's Free Guide: 3 Practices for Full Hearted Living with Chronic Illness: https://laurenselfridge.com/listen• Lauren's This Is Not What I Ordered Podcast: https://laurenselfridge.com/listen• Imago Relationship Therapy: https://imagorelationships.orgThanks for listening! You can read the full show notes and sign up for my email list to get new episode announcements and other resources at: https://www.sensitivestories.comYou can also follow "SensitiveStrengths" for behind-the-scenes content plus more educational and inspirational HSP resources: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensitivestrengths TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensitivestrengths Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sensitivestrengths If you have a moment, please rate and review the podcast, it helps Sensitive Stories reach more HSPs! This episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional. Some links are affiliate links. You are under no obligation to purchase any book, product or service. I am not responsible for the quality or satisfaction of any purchase.

In this conversation, Lindsay and Elizabeth discuss the importance of personal fulfillment and pursuing personal goals. They explore the idea that personal goals are often put on the back burner and discuss the challenges of prioritizing oneself. This episode is chalk full of ideas for setting boundaries, prioritizing and understanding yourself, digging into your resistance and overcoming fear.    In this episode LTM and Elizabeth will talk about the benefits of engaging in creative hobbies and the importance of enjoying the process rather than focusing on the outcome. Lindsay shares her experience of receiving insights and answers to her questions while engaging in creative activities. They encourage listeners to follow their personal desires and fill their social media feeds with content that inspires them. The conversation ends with Liz sharing her dream of hiking a substantial trail.   Elizabeth and LTM discuss their personal bucket lists, the importance of prioritizing personal fulfillment and talk about the power of habits along with the need to dig into the underlying reasons for certain habits. LTM discusses her goal of writing short, impactful books and her desire to go skydiving and backpacking through Europe with her children.   If you're not sure about what you want in your personal life or you want to know yourself better, this episode has a list of insightful questions that you can answer about your own life to help you establish some effort toward your own happiness.   Takeaways Personal fulfillment is essential and should be prioritized Engaging in creative hobbies can provide a sense of fulfillment and allow for self-expression Enjoying the process of creating is more important than focusing on the outcome Filling your social media feed with inspiring content can fuel your personal desires Taking time for self-discovery and pursuing personal goals is crucial for personal growth Prioritizing personal fulfillment is essential for a fulfilling life. Understanding the underlying reasons for certain habits can help in breaking them. Setting boundaries and making time for oneself is crucial. Having a bucket list can provide motivation and a sense of purpose. Learning a new language can be a fulfilling and enriching experience. Traveling and experiencing different cultures can be transformative. Writing short, impactful books can be a creative goal. Adventure activities like skydiving and backpacking can push one out of their comfort zone and lead to personal growth. Set personal goals and establish boundaries Spend time understanding oneself and what one wants to experience Do not rely on others for fulfillment Explore personal desires and interests Embrace self-discovery and personal growth Keywords: personal fulfillment, personal goals, creative hobbies, enjoying the process, self-discovery, social media, inspiration, hiking, bucket list, personal fulfillment, habits, national parks, language learning, Italy, writing, skydiving, backpacking, Europe, personal fulfillment, goals, boundaries, self-discovery, aspirations ----more---- LINKS: Lindsay's Instagram  Wake Up! Wake Up by Lindsay Teague Moreno The Artists Way by Julia Cameron Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi Atomic Habits by James Clear Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert The War of Art by Steven Pressfield Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. ----more---- Lindsay Teague Moreno author + speaker + podcaster WEBSITE: www.lindsaytm.com INSTAGRAM: @lindsayteague FACEBOOK: @ltmauthor PODCAST: www.wakeupthepodcast.com PINTEREST: @lindsayteague

In this episode, William Green chats with renowned hedge fund manager Guy Spier, who has run the Aquamarine Fund since 1997. This conversation has been split into two episodes. Here, in Part 2, Guy shares insights on how to succeed over the long run by avoiding dumb investment behavior, building the right relationships, and recognizing our weaknesses. This is an unusually candid conversation between William & Guy—old friends who collaborated on Guy's classic book, “The Education of a Value Investor.” IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: 00:00 - Intro 01:36 - What dumb investment behavior Guy Spier strives to avoid 05:12 - What type of companies he shuns 07:05 - Why good relationships are a key to financial & personal success 07:25 - Why we should be especially wary of leverage 15:46 - Why it's vital to find “friends along the path” who support us emotionally 29:34 - Why it's helpful to shine a light on our own weaknesses 41:18 - How he handles painful, contentious conversations 51:24 - How to engage with people whose beliefs & experiences differ from ours 1:07:05 - What role money does—or doesn't—play in a rich & meaningful life 1:11:11 - What Guy learned from Warren Buffett's exercise of writing your own obituary 1:31:39 - How reading great literature can make you wiser & happier Disclaimer: Slight discrepancies in the timestamps may occur due to podcast platform differences. BOOKS AND RESOURCES Related Episode: William Green's 2023 interview with Guy Spier | YouTube Video. Related Episode: William Green's 2022 interview with Guy Spier | YouTube Video. Related Episode: William Green's interview with Daniel Goleman & Tsoknyi Rinpoche | YouTube Video. Related Episode: William Green's interview with Chris Davis | YouTube Video. The Dishcast podcast with David Brooks on “Transcending Hate & Loneliness”. Daniel Siegel's book “The Developing Mind”. Harville Hendrix's book “Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between”. Marcel Proust's book “In Search of Lost Time”. Guy Spier's book, “The Education of a Value Investor" – read reviews of the book. Subscribe to Guy Spier's free newsletter. Guy Spier's podcast and website. Guy Spier interviews William Green about his book, “Richer, Wiser, Happier”.  William Green's book, “Richer, Wiser, Happier” – read the reviews of this book. Follow William Green on X (AKA Twitter). Check out all the books mentioned and discussed in our podcast episodes here. NEW TO THE SHOW? Follow our official social media accounts: X (Twitter) | LinkedIn | | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok. Browse through all our episodes (complete with transcripts) here. Try our tool for picking stock winners and managing our portfolios: TIP Finance Tool. Enjoy exclusive perks from our favorite Apps and Services. Stay up-to-date on financial markets and investing strategies through our daily newsletter, We Study Markets. Learn how to better start, manage, and grow your business with the best business podcasts.  SPONSORS Support our free podcast by supporting our sponsors: River Toyota Wise NetSuite Fidelity TurboTax NDTCO Linkedin Marketing Solutions Fundrise Vacasa NerdWallet Babbel Shopify HELP US OUT! Help us reach new listeners by leaving us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! It takes less than 30 seconds, and really helps our show grow, which allows us to bring on even better guests for you all! Thank you – we really appreciate it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Original Air Date: December 6, 2001Dr. Harville Hendrix helps Oprah and her guests heal their marriages and relationships. His groundbreaking tools and techniques touches on the hidden reasons we pick the partners we do. Also, we learn best approaches to navigating and overcoming tough seasons.Want more podcasts from OWN? Visit https://bit.ly/OWNPodsYou can also watch Oprah's Super Soul, The Oprah Winfrey Show and more of your favorite OWN shows on your TV! Visit https://bit.ly/find_OWN  

In this episode, Eli sits down with married couple's therapists Harville Hendrix and Helen Lakelly Hunt, to discuss the unique challenges of approaching relationships with mindfulness and empathy. Their renowned Imago Relationship Therapy model, now being taught internationally, focuses on healing the inner self and utilizing needs-focused dialogue to heal the couple.

Original Air Date: April 19, 2006Oprah's guest, Louie, admits he's been abusing his wife, Shannon, for 13 years. He was convicted of domestic violence twice: once in 1999 for punching Shannon and a second time for pushing her to the ground. He says he no longer physically abuses Shannon, but now he emotionally abuses her. Together, with marriage counselor Harville Hendrix, they try to find out the cause of the abuse. Want more podcasts from OWN? Visit https://bit.ly/OWNPodsYou can also watch Oprah's Super Soul, The Oprah Winfrey Show and more of your favorite OWN shows on your TV! Visit https://bit.ly/find_OWN  

In this episode of Go Help Yourself, Lisa and Misty discuss how to be a better partner in order to have better relationships, including advice from John Gottman, Brené Brown, and Harville Hendrix.This can be applied to better romantic relationships, better friendships, and better relationships with your family. Sign up for our newsletter at gohelpyourself.coGet in touch with us: gohelpyourselfpodcast@gmail.comFollow us on instagram at gohelpyourselfpodcastIf you like what you're hearing, leave us a review.xoAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Not all relationships on the brink of failure are hopeless. There are tools that can help you discover where the negative patterns of communication and behavior come from. This talk is a replay of a conversation between the author, Oprah, and a few couples who find out they can be vulnerable and redeem their relationships! We have a Patreon membership account! Please check out how to participate behind the scenes and collaborate on growing the podcast! You can visit www.patreon.com/unbreakmyheart.com for more information.

Enjoy this special presentation from the first-ever Whinypaluza Ultimate Marriage & Parenting Summit! As an advocate for human resilience & growth, Judy Herman inspires executive women with resistant spouses to unlock the power of their authentic selves in order to live peaceful, purposeful, & positive lives without regret. She provides keynote addresses seminars and workshops for companies that support women in leadership while honoring authentic work relationships and cultures. Her clinical and personal experiences enhance her work as an executive coach providing skills and resources that change organizations and family trees. Judy Herman has trained with world-renowned marriage and relationship experts including Drs. John & Julie Gottman, Dr. Harville Hendrix & Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, Terry Real, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. Dan Seigel.   Listen to this insightful Whinypaluza episode with Judy Herman about the ways your past impacts your thoughts and beliefs around your future relationships with others. Here is what to expect on this week's show: The story about yourself matters in how you create new stories with others. Holding onto things from past relationships will affect future relationships. Our thoughts and beliefs and how we relate to others has a bearing on who we are drawn to. Our emotions come from our thoughts and our past, but they are designed to move and flow. What are the 3 Ps? How does it determine who you choose as a partner? Think of relationships as synchronized dances in the way you are programmed to respond and how you WANT to respond. Remember that you are not perfect, and you are not alone in your struggles. Hear Judy's real and raw experiences on marriage and the epiphany she had after the end of her second marriage. The importance of being able to step back from your life and look at the bigger picture and see what lessons there are to learn.   Links Mentioned: Beyond Messy Relationships https://a.co/d/bcMjtzf Connect with Judy: Website https://www.judycounselor.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/JudyKHerman Instagram https://www.instagram.com/judycounselor/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/judykherman/ LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/judykherman/ Follow Rebecca Greene Blog  https://www.whinypaluza.com/ Book 1  https://bit.ly/WhinypaluzaBook Book 2 https://bit.ly/whinybook2 Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/whinypaluzaparenting Instagram https://www.instagram.com/becgreene5/ @becgreene5 TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@whinypaluzamom?lang=en @whinypaluzamom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: relationships, IMAGO therapy, emotional intelligence, social media, attachment theory, conflict, sex, intimacy, artificial intelligence Deeply grateful to have sat down with Nick last week to chat about all things relationships. Nick is, frankly, one of the best in the biz, and his compassionate yet no-nonsense approach has helped a great many people. If you're interested AT ALL in levelling up your intimate relationships, this is an episode to listen to. Strongly recommend you listen alongside your partner—or at least share it with them later. [00:01:04] - Nick's defining moment[00:09:48] - What made you choose IMAGO certification?[00:12:15] - Where do you see modern relationships breaking down most often?[00:15:57] - How would you say social media has affect modern relationships?[00:21:08] - What does it mean when your partner says “I'm not feeling seen”?[00:25:50] - What other ways can we support our partner in being heard?[00:28:52] - So what is IMAGO therapy based on? What tools does it deploy?[00:44:49] - What are some of main challenges couples face in the realm is sex and intimacy?[00:59:11] - Do you think AI is going to impact the future of intimate relationships?[01:07:33] - We ultimately want to bump up against each other at a deeper level[01:10:25] - What's your definition of a conscious relationship? Nick Solaczek Certified IMAGO Relationship Coach, working with individuals and couples to boost their emotional intelligence and success in romantic relationships. He emphasizes safe conversation techniques, mindfulness, authenticity, and boundary setting. Nick is based in Vancouver, Canada, and has coached Hollywood celebrities, CEO's, secret agents, high-profile lawyers, therapists, doctors, fresh partners and lifelong marriages. He's also been privileged to assist Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt (founders of IMAGO and authors of the bestseller Getting the Love You Want) in their online training for couples. Connect with Nick -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicksolaczek/-Couples Course - Romatic Relationship Reset: https://nicksolaczek.com/reset/-Website: www.nicksolaczek.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.