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Stop renting space for stuff you've forgotten. Plus a simple framework for starting a new tradition. Try This at Home: Make a new tradition — Why creating a deliberate, recurring ritual can strengthen relationships and make scheduling easier. [03:24] Happiness Hack: Treat yourself like your own daughter — The latest in the “treat yourself like a___” series. [11:41] Happiness Stumbling Block: Your storage unit is costing you more than you think. [12:52] Listener Question: How do you set aside worry for a whole season? [20:15] Demerits & Gold Stars: Gretchen's demerit: ongoing battle with foot exercises; Elizabeth's gold star: using the Design Your Summer tool in the Happier app. [28:30] Mentioned in This Episode: Design Your Summer tool Atlas Obscura app Habits for Happiness quiz The Wreck of the Mentor by Eric J. Dolin (Amazon, Bookshop) The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes (Amazon, Bookshop) Connect with Us: Email: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Website: gretchenrubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin | @lizcraft Learn more about Gretchen's Four Tendencies framework and take the free quiz. Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or rate us on Spotify — it helps other listeners find the show! Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A letter from Churchill demonstrates the value of courtesy, even—or perhaps especially—at moments of highest battle. Connect with Us: Email: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Website: gretchenrubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin | @lizcraft Learn more about Gretchen's Four Tendencies personality framework and take the free quiz. Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or rate us on Spotify—it helps other listeners find the show! Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Why summer is the perfect time to revisit your goals for the year. Gretchen and Elizabeth share a hack for making socializing easier. Build Your Social Muscles: The more you socialize, the less mental energy it costs [00:39] Spotlight on a Tool: July 2nd is the halfway point of the year, so it's a great time to revisit the goals and lists you made in January [18:24] I've Been Meaning to Ask You: We talk about happiness all the time. Does we ever get tired of thinking about how to be happier? [10:56] I've Been Meaning to Tell You: Gretchen finds reassurance in Elizabeth's recent take on the challenge of watching TV [19:14] Mentioned in this Episode: Design Your Year / Halfway Day resources When Zero Isn't Nothing: The Fresh Eyes of a Basketball Beginner Connect with Us: Email: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Website: gretchenrubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin | @lizcraft Learn more about Gretchen's Four Tendencies personality framework and take the free quiz. Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or rate us on Spotify—it helps other listeners find the show! Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're halfway through the year. Gretchen and Liz share how to treat July 2 as a built-in reset to reflect on what's working and what isn't. Try This at Home: Prepare for Halfway Day — Use “Halfway Day” on July 2 to review your aims for the year [05:48] Happiness Hack: Name Your Days of the Week — To make work easier, give a name to each day of the week [21:34] Listener Question: When Abstainers Try to Moderate — Can an abstainer occasionally indulge in moderation? [24:29] Question for Listeners: What Works with Rebels? — If you live or work with a Rebel (or are one), what insights or strategies have made a difference? [30:18] Demerits & Gold Stars — Elizabeth's demerit: a missed opportunity to schedule doctor appointments. Gretchen's gold star: the New York Knicks [31:32] Mentioned in this Episode: Wedding readings collection You with the Sad Eyes by Christina Applegate — (Amazon, Bookshop) The Virginia Woolf Diaries, Vol. 2 — (Amazon, Bookshop) Take the Four Tendencies quiz Connect with Us: Email: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Website: gretchenrubin.com Instagram: @gretchenrubin | @lizcraft Learn more about the Four Tendencies framework and take the free quiz Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or rate us on Spotify—it helps other listeners find the show! Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In part two of the Stuck Series, Lesley Logan unpacks why feeling stuck rarely has anything to do with a lack of motivation and what's really keeping you frozen. She breaks down how mismatched systems, unrealistic expectations, and unspoken fear quietly drain your energy, and offers a practical framework for moving forward. Find out how messy action, not motivation, is what finally gets you unstuck. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:The role outsourcing and systems play in getting unstuck.How motivation is fickle and why you can't rely on it.Why mismatched expectations vs. reality requires a rebuildNaming the fear underneath the freeze, plus building a backup plan.Tactile tools: two-minute rule, friction reducers, and messy action.Episode References/Links:The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin - https://a.co/d/0fgVJtiKTiny Habits by BJ Fogg - https://tinyhabits.comEp. 613 Habit Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep613Ep. 614 Habit Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep614Ep. 616 Habit Series 3 - https://beitpod.com/ep616Ep. 617 Habit Series 4 - https://beitpod.com/ep617Ep. 619 Habit Series 5 - https://beitpod.com/ep619Ep. 620 Habit Series 6 - https://beitpod.com/620Ep. 622 Habit Series 7 - https://beitpod.com/ep622Ep. 623 Habit Series 8 - https://beitpod.com/623Ep. 256 with Rory Vaden - https://beitpod.com/ep256Ep. 688 Outgrowing Series 1 - https://beitpod.com/ep688Ep. 689 Outgrowing Series 2 - https://beitpod.com/ep689Ep. 93 with Jillian Flodstrom - https://beitpod.com/ep93Ep. 589 with Brad Bizjack - https://beitpod.com/ep589Cambodia Retreat Waitlist - https://crowsnestretreats.comSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questionsIf you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00 Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck, is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this, is we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just like wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. Lesley Logan 0:21 Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:04 Hi, Be It babe, welcome back. We're back on our stuck series, so we're getting unstuck today. So last episode we actually talked about what does feeling stuck actually feel like, and is it actually that we're stuck? And we kind of realized that we're not stuck, right? We might just be overwhelmed or lacking support or tools to get to where we want to go. We might have overwhelmed ourselves, or we might be putting pressure on ourselves, and that might be why we're feeling this way. It might be like being a perfectionist again. Sometimes it sneaks back up on us, right? So, the one thing that I hear people say that they need when they're feeling stuck is motivation, and we have to talk about motivation, because motivation is not the thing. Lesley Logan 1:37 I used to think that I'm just a super motivated person. When I was younger, I was like, "Oh my god, if I said I was gonna do something, I do it," right? And what you realize when you read The Four Tendencies book by Gretchen Rubin, you discover like, "Oh no, that's just a tendency I have." If I say I'm gonna do something, I do it, whereas other people need an accountability partner, or some people need to be able to make decisions. I'm gonna do what I said to do. So, as I got a little bit older and a bit in the stage of my life where I was running my businesses and there were things going on and I was struggling to do them, I thought, "Oh my god, I just need motivation to work on that." And because of the ADHD brain, I was probably just seeking dopamine hits, and that's how I was getting things done. As I worked on myself and got to know myself and stopped overwhelming and overloading myself with things to do, I actually just became a person who was, I don't know, whelmed. It wasn't motivation that I needed, but systems to help me continue to do the things that I said I wanted to do, and also with systems, making sure that I wasn't saying yes to things just because they were cool. Lesley Logan 2:41 So because I know me better, I have better boundaries, and because I understand how motivation works, I don't actually wait for the motivation to do the things. I understand how to set myself up so I can take one step at a time, celebrate what I did do, and then go again the next day. I'm no longer a person who's like, "I have to get my to-do list done every day," because that pressure actually slows me down, and it makes me not feel like I'm me doing the thing, right? I'm not a patient person. So, in case you're like, "Oh, I wish I was you," I'm not a patient person. So, if I can do it, if I can take action on the things that I want to do, if I can help myself move the needle one millimeter forward in a day, you can do it too, right?Lesley Logan 3:27 Because we don't need motivation. And if you didn't hear our episodes in December of 2025 about habits, where I talked about motivation as a very fickle girlfriend, and you can learn more about this in BJ Fogg's book, Tiny Habits, but essentially motivation is needed when something is very difficult to get started. Like when you turn on a car, you have a starter, right? I think that's what it is, and it helps get the car started. You also use more gas to get the car started, right? Planes are the same thing. And so you need motivation to get rolling, but then once you're rolling, you don't use as much gasoline, as much energy, or you don't need those things, right? So, motivation is best to be used when something is a bigger deal, or is going to require more of us than we are used to, but then once we have gotten started, ideally we're not waiting on motivation to just keep the ball rolling. That's where systems come into place, right? Lesley Logan 4:21 Motivation also is not something you can just go up, tap in, hit the motivation button, "I'm ready to go." Motivation is actually a fickle friend. It's kind of like my ADHD focus mode without Adderall. Yes, sometimes it hits, and I'm like, "Oh my god, I just got so much done," but mostly it doesn't ever hit at the time that I want it to hit. It's not going to hit because something's due tomorrow; it hits because of my ADHD, but it won't hit like, "I want to do it now and not under pressure." It doesn't hit then, right? So I can't wait for it. I talked about this in our habit series, motivation, you have to think of as like a really great friend that you go to parties with, but that you don't actually rely on to pick you up at an airport to take you to an important meeting. You would never do that. Lesley Logan 5:03 So, if the tasks that you are asking yourself to do don't match your energy, you are likely doing things that do not bring you joy, and if they did before, they don't now. Oftentimes we're doing things that we think we should be able to do, or we think we have to do, or we don't have the money to delegate it out, but just because you have done that before doesn't mean you have to keep doing it. What I will just say is part of getting out of a rut is looking at the responsibilities you feel you are supposed to be the person to take those on and actually ask yourself, "Is this something that I need to be doing? Does this have to be done right now? Does it have to be done today?" Because it may be time to outsource some of the things that you need to happen in your life, so that you can have the time and energy to do what you said you wanted to do. Lesley Logan 5:56 If you come on my retreats, oftentimes I'm like, "Hey, we can outsource. You can have groceries delivered. You can just save all your time driving to the grocery store, going up and down the aisles. You could just have them delivered. You can have a housekeeper clean your house, right, especially for the deep cleans." But honestly, we have that every week. Why? Because one, I like a clean house, because I want to work in that environment, but I don't like to clean the house. Because I don't like to clean the house, it makes me exhausted when I do it, and then it's done, I have this clean house now. Guess what? I don't want to work in it because I'm exhausted. So the tasks that you have on your plate don't match the energy, and then they're draining you, and that makes you feel stuck. So you can come on a retreat with me in Cambodia to learn how to figure out what you should get off of your list, but if you don't want to wait till that, I just want you to take a look.Lesley Logan 6:43 What are all the things that you think you should be doing? Are there tools now that would make those things easier? Pick the one that you least want to do, you avoid doing, and that lives rent-free in space in your head, right? How can we get rid of it, or get someone else to support us on that? Your systems that you're relying on often aren't matching the brain that you operate with. I have ADHD, and in order to get my work done, I have support from a psychiatrist. So, I do take an Adderall, and when I take it, I actually can focus, and then I can actually use the tools that I have put in place to help me get my work done. I definitely can tell days when I have it versus when I don't. I don't take it on my days off, but I can tell that trying to do the things that I need to get done on a workday without it, I end the workday more exhausted and wondering, "Why do I do what I do? Am I doing the right thing? Am I aligned? Do I even love this job anymore?" because it took so much out of me to get it done than when I have the support that my brain requires, right?Lesley Logan 7:46 But whether or not you have ADHD, the more you can understand how you think, how you operate, and have systems that match that, you know? If you are making to-do lists and never using them, then that's not helping you. You need to figure out a different tool. If you are making the projects that you have to do on your to-do list so big "build a website" of course, you're gonna feel stuck. That's a humongous task that will not get crossed off for four to six weeks at least. So we have to figure out, what are the ways that you operate? How do you meet expectations? I mentioned it before, but Gretchen Rubin's book, The Four Tendencies, is an excellent read. It helps you understand how do you meet the expectations you have, or that others have, and then when you know that, you can put systems in place. Lesley Logan 8:24 For example, Brad is a rebel, and Brad will say, "Oh, I'm going to get up early tomorrow and do yoga." Okay, but if I wake him up and go, "Hey, you wanted to get up early this morning and do yoga," he will say, "No, I don't want to do it," because he wants to have choice. He must have choice, right? Because he's a rebel, that's how you meet the expectations. So, if I say, "Hey, babe, yesterday you had mentioned that you wanted to get up and do some yoga, so did you still want to do that, or did you want to sleep for a little longer?" When I present it to him like that, he always is like, "Oh, no, I'm going to do the yoga," because he does want to do it, but he wants to have choice, right? If you're an obliger, you are someone who needs accountability to get things done, so you need to find ways in your systems to have accountability to get things done, so you get them done. I'm an upholder, so if I said it I'm going to do it, which is also why if I say no to you, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I know I won't be able to get it done. I will never backtrack on an agreement, right? So if your systems don't match how you operate, then you are going to get stuck and overwhelmed. Lesley Logan 8:25 Okay, another way to get out of the rut is matching your expectations with reality, so you're not unmotivated, you're mismatched. Like if you have an expectation like, "Okay, tomorrow I'm gonna get up early. I know I'm not a morning person, but I'm gonna get up early, and I'm gonna go run two miles." But one, you're not a morning person, and you haven't run in a year. You're not doing those things, and that's going to feel like, "Oh my god, I just wasn't motivated." No, you are not that person. You are not someone who wakes up early. You are not someone who runs.Lesley Logan 9:57 So we actually have to make sure that the expectations that we have placed on ourselves actually match the reality of what systems we have in place today, right? So, if you're like, "I want to make 10,000 a month with my business," but you're not even making 1,000 a month, those expectations don't match reality. You actually have to first make 1,100, and 1,200, 2,000, and then 5,000. You can have the goal that "I want to make 10,000 a month," but you can't do it next month if you have never done it before, right? They don't match reality, so you basically have put pressure on yourself and overwhelmed yourself, and put yourself in a stuck position. Versus if you took time to go, "Okay, what are some realistic expectations that I can place on myself that I can do this week, and then I could do tomorrow and I can do today?" working backwards, then you actually don't need motivation; you'll have broken things down in a way that allows you to get them done. Lesley Logan 10:51 So, I will say, like the ADHD, we talked about this a moment ago, but yes, it has that super focus mode, but like the motivation, we can't wait for it. So what I highly recommend to my ADHD people is you really can't lean on motivation. You can't wait for those focus modes. You have to learn your brain, and you have to learn the systems that help you. And there are some great experts out there. You know, Brad piles the mail all in this one place, so every day we pick up the mail, that's a win for an ADHD couple, and we put it in a pile. We don't put it anywhere, we put it in a pile, and then on Mondays he actually goes through it, right? That's the system that works. I mean, you'd be surprised, I know you think you don't operate well with systems, but when you get the systems that work for you, they work for you, and so it really helps you remain unstuck and not leaning on motivation or focus mode to help you like clean everything. Because what we know you're gonna do is organize a cupboard and then not have cleaned anything, and now we have a messier kitchen. I know. Hello, I know me. Lesley Logan 11:49 Fear is another real reason to feel stuck. So, if you're listening to this because the outgoing episode really got your attention, you've outgrown an old version of yourself, but you're feeling stuck right now because of fear, fear of loss, fear of responsibility, fear of failure. Right, that's real. It's real, and it's important that we don't diminish the fear that we have. If that is what the problem is, because anyone telling you there's nothing to be afraid of, it's not helpful, right? It's like someone telling me like, "Calm down." You're like, "Do you want to see me calm down?" So, what I know about fear in the studies that I've done on it, the really important things that you can do is, one, call it out. What are you afraid of? What are you afraid is going to happen? If you don't want to say it out loud, write it down. If you don't know what it is, but you know there's a fear there, then just keep writing until it comes out, right? What is this thing that I'm afraid is going to happen? "I'm afraid no one's, everyone's gonna... no one's gonna like me." No one is gonna like you. And then you're like, "Why am I afraid about that? Why do I think that's gonna happen?" right? Like, take some time to really understand why you have this fear, because if you can actually identify it, then we can create an exit strategy, right? A backup plan. Because the truth is that nothing ever is as bad as or as good as we want or fear. "Oh my god, if I do this thing, I'm gonna die." Well, that's not happening, because you just listened to this. "Oh my god, if this goes so well, I'm gonna have a million dollars." Well, maybe you do, but most of the time we land somewhere on a spectrum, and so take some time to like really truly go, "What am I actually afraid of?" Lesley Logan 13:22 So you can have a backup plan, so then you can move forward, right? Because these practical shifts, they actually help, because an all-or-nothing mindset is what's keeping you stuck, right? Like, this practical... like, "Okay, I'm afraid that if I do this thing, I'm gonna lose everything." You're gonna lose everything, okay? All of it. Like, if this thing goes wrong, you're not gonna have any of this to back up on? Then you start to realize, "Well, no, actually, I'll just lose $1,000. I'll lose $3,000." Okay, that's a legit fear. I don't want to lose $3,000 ever. I don't want to lose $3. So, what things can help me realize if I'm on the wrong path? What are some signs or KPIs that could help me before it goes the wrong way, so I could stop it and turn the ship around? Or if that does happen, then what will I do? Because when you have that, all of a sudden you have clarity. Because get this: action is the antidote to fear. Taking the action, taking an action that helps get you unstuck is the antidote to fear, and it brings clarity. Action brings clarity. That's the hardest thing about all of this: we're all waiting for motivation, or for us to just wake up one day unstuck, but truthfully, we have to take a step, take some messy action to actually get unstuck. Lesley Logan 14:35 So, I did want to give you guys a couple of tactile things, like some "be it" things. So, one is like a two-minute rule. Sometimes a two-minute rule can be, "I can feel this way for two minutes and I'm gonna get started," or "I can do this thing over here in two minutes at a time, or I'll get started." That's helpful. Also, you can break down all the tasks you want to do into two minutes. We had Jillian Flodstrom on as a guest, and I think she said it in the podcast, but she might have done it in a webinar for us. Anyway, you should listen to her episode. She said like, "I break all tasks into something I can do in two minutes, because that makes it really easy. I'm waiting two minutes, I can do one thing. Okay, I can do this next thing," right? Lesley Logan 15:08 Reducing friction, so this is going to be just like taking a moment to see how many things that you have going on that are actually causing friction in your life. Are you trying to get too much stuff done in a day, or in a morning? Are you trying to be a morning person? How can we reduce that friction, so that it's just a little easier to get things done, right? Maybe it's the deadlines that you placed on yourself. How can you do that? Or perhaps it's like, "Okay, I cook for everybody all week long, but I just can't." Okay, how do we ask for help? So, just reduce the friction. And this is crazy, I know some people at the Be It Till You See It podcast are gonna say this, yeah, lower your expectations. Lower expectations of yourself, especially because sometimes we set the bar at 150%. Honey, you can be at 100% and you're still gonna slay more than most people. Most people don't take action. Most people have the same thoughts every single day. So, if you could just actually operate on an actual scale of 100%, not 150%, you would be unstuck tomorrow, yesterday, right? Because you don't need to do the whole thing, you don't need to be able to do all the things that will help get you unstuck.Lesley Logan 16:19 You just need to begin to do one thing, take one step. And I said this already a couple of times, take this messy action, because if motivation isn't the thing that's going to get us moving, because it's not, I mean, it might get us started on something really difficult, but it's not going to be the day-to-day, then what we actually need is messy action. And you hear that in every intro of all of our podcasts: "take messy action." And the reason is because you get some good feedback. So we will have some messy action episodes coming up for you soon in a future series, but until then, I'd love for you to take a moment, maybe revisit the first episode, and really identify like, "Am I actually stuck or am I in overwhelm, or do I have outdated systems, or do I just need a little bit of clarity to get started on this next thing? Or am I afraid?" Once you have identified how you're stuck and what's going on, you can take the first next steps to anything, and that means being it until you see it. Lesley Logan 17:17 All right, my loves, send this to a friend who needs to hear it. Thank you so much for being you. Send in any questions or aha moments at beitpod.com/questions, and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 17:27 That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 18:10 It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 18:14 It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 18:19 Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 18:26 Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 18:29 Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3006: Adina Soclof explores Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework to help parents better understand how children respond to rules, expectations, accountability, and independence. By recognizing whether a child is an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, parents can communicate more effectively, reduce conflict, and build stronger, more supportive relationships at home. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://parentingsimply.com/childhood-personality-types/ Quotes to ponder: "Questioners are the children who are constantly asking for explanations of why they have to do what they are doing." "Rebel children need love and understanding." "You can just put a little on your plate, or you could just take one and taste it." Episode references: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin: https://gretchenrubin.com/books/the-four-tendencies/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We talk about why you should treat yourself like a grandchild (or a toddler, puppy, professor, or factory), and we share a helpful tip if you're trying to do certain things every day. Plus we discuss a listener's question about meeting inner and outer expectations as an Upholder. Resources & links related to this episode: My Four Tendencies personality framework Take the "Four Tendencies" quiz Colleen Moore's Fairy Castle Graduation Gift Guide Simon Haisells "slow reads" My book Secrets of Adulthood makes for a great graduation gift Elizabeth: The Mona Lisa Vanishes by Nicholas Day (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen: ‘Salem's Lot by Stephen King (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.
Natalie Marcotullio & Mark Kilens invited me on their podcast GTM News Desk.We discuss:How do you build messaging that actually sticks across every team that touches it? How do you know when an "insight" is genuinely worth acting on or when it's just a pattern dressed up in fancy words? What does it take to teach AI to think like you, not just write like one version of you?Mojo Founder Eric Holland and I reveal what's really broken about how B2B companies develop and distribute their messaging. We dig into why most customer research is pulled from the most biased data available and how to document your decision-making, not just your knowledge, so AI can actually replicate your judgment. We also provide answers to why chasing every new AI workflow is making most marketers worse, not better. Eric and I challenge the idea that volume of insights equals quality of insights, arguing that a single finding that changes how your whole company goes to market is worth more than a hundred tagged Gong quotes.Jump in:(00:00) We need a higher standard for b2b research(00:35) What CMOs are actually talking about at conferences right now(04:40) How shame and fear became the default AI adoption strategy(08:41) The difference between AI-exhausted and AI-excited teams(12:44) Four Tendencies and what it means for AI adoption(16:31) Why B2B messaging is broken even at well-funded startups(19:14) What separates Mojo from just pointing Claude at your Notion(27:26) What good writing actually feels like and whether AI can get there(32:17) The solar plexus test and how to know when your copy is working(34:05) Why nuance and emotion are the real gap in AI writing(39:27) Why most insight tools are just pattern-matching machines(44:19) How to check if your researcher is actually any good(47:30) The danger of everyone using the same workflows to find the same "insights"(50:01) What B2B marketing gets wrong that B2C figured out long ago(53:21) Go deep on one thing for a quarter(55:22) Why you should only build what you already know in your sleepConnect with Eric: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-holland-not-a-marketer/ Connect with Anna: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annafurmanov/ Mojo: https://mojopmm.com/Mojo + Moxie: https://mojo-and-moxie.com/Natalie: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-marcotullio/Mark: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markkilens/
Summary In this episode of Frontline Innovators, Nancy Green shares expert insights on AI governance, organizational change, and effective technology adoption strategies. Discover how trust, communication, and tailored engagement are key to successful AI implementation in large enterprises. Key topics - Difference between utilization and adoption of technology - Building trust during change initiatives - Effective communication strategies for large-scale change - Role of frontline leadership in AI implementation - Measuring trust and engagement at scale - Handling resistance and skepticism towards AI - Designing scalable training and enablement programs - The importance of governance and responsibility in AI projects Chapters 00:00 Introduction to AI Governance and Change Management 04:08 Utilization vs. Adoption of Technology 07:19 The Importance of Trust in Change Management 10:00 Building Trust Through Communication 11:53 Engaging Frontline Leadership 14:59 Identifying Change Champions 18:14 Understanding Resistance to Change 20:50 Addressing Anxiety Around Change 23:35 Honesty in Communication During Change 26:29 Incentives and Performance Metrics 28:23 Motivation and Technology Adoption 32:23 Personalization in Change Management 34:26 Supporting Technologically Reluctant Workers 36:20 Minimum Viable Proficiency in Training 37:56 Bite-Sized Learning and Agile Development 40:04 User Involvement in Development 45:06 Addressing AI Concerns and User Fears 48:48 Evolving Job Roles in the Age of AI 52:15 Human Judgment in AI Utilization 56:00 Governance and Responsibility in AI Projects Resources Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K4X7Q4QAI Governance Frameworks - https://www.oecd.org/going-digital/ai/ai-governance/ Guest links LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancygreen Website - https://nancygreen.com
A massive hangover cured someone of her fear of flying. What's the lesson? Resources & links related to this episode: Four Tendencies personality framework You can take my quiz here to find your tendency. Happier at Home Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.
We talk about why clutter causes so much conflict at home—and how thinking about Clutter-Blindness, the Endowment Effect, and the Four Tendencies can help you handle it more effectively. Plus, practical strategies for living with a messy family member and saying goodbye to sentimental clutter. Resources & links related to this episode: Visit my Organization Hub for 9 practical tips for deciding what to keep Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.
We talk about a specific, easy way to reduce the unworn clothes in your closet, and we also share a listener's clothes-related hack for keeping track of lost items. We explore an interesting distinction: are you a nostalgic person or an expectant person? Resources & links related to this episode: Take the "Four Tendencies" quiz Check out my book Outer Order, Inner Calm Check out the I Want You To Know journal for a Mother's Day Gift Elizabeth: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen: Nonesuch by Francis Spufford (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.
I talk with professional organizer Cassandra Aarssen, creator of the viral Clutterbug “Organizing Styles” (Bee, Butterfly, Ladybug, Cricket). In her work, she sees the same problem over and over: people can get organized, but they can't keep it that way. We explore why—and how the Four Tendencies can help. Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app.
Decluttering, organizing, and building habits that stick — today I'm talking with Gretchen Rubin (author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies) about why clutter keeps coming back, how to finally follow through, and how to get your home under control for good. If you struggle to start, procrastinate, or can't maintain a tidy house, this episode will change how you see your expectations, yourself, and the systems you use. Gretchen Rubin is one of my biggest heroes. Her work changed my life when I was drowning, and in this conversation we go deep on the ideas that help you actually do the thing. Maintenance sometimes feels like the hardest part of home management, and that's what we tackle in this episode. Gretchen breaks down The Four Tendencies (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel) and explains how she discovered this framework by noticing a simple pattern: the same person can do something effortlessly in one context and feel totally stuck in another. We talk about what it means to meet or resist outer expectations (deadlines, other people) vs inner expectations (the promises you make to yourself)—and why that difference matters so much when you're trying to declutter or keep up with everyday housework. You'll hear why I'm an Obliger (and how outer accountability helped me grow my business), how to “speak someone's language” instead of trying to force your system onto them, and why Rebels often feel trapped by routines—even the ones they choose. We also dig into something I'm obsessed with right now: the perfectionism/procrastination loop that keeps people stuck, and my approach to breaking through the roadblock so you can finally get momentum. We cover Obliger Rebellion—that moment when you've been giving and giving… and suddenly you go nuclear. If you've ever snapped, quit, cut someone off, or hit a breaking point that felt like it came out of nowhere, Gretchen's explanation will make you feel seen (and give you a better way forward). If you've ever thought, “I know what to do . . . I just can't make myself do it,” this is the episode you've been waiting for. Want to get organized? Learn 6-Step The Clutterbug Method: https://clutterbug.thinkific.com/courses/Clutterbug-Method You can find more Clutterbug content here: Main YouTube Channel: @Clutterbug Website: http://www.clutterbug.me TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clutterbug_me Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Clutterbug.Me/ For more with Gretchen Rubin, please visit https://gretchenrubin.com/ And here is the direct link for Clutterbug's collaboration with Gretchen: https://gretchenrubin.com/move-26-in-26-with-clutterbug/ Gretchen's photo by Allie Coyle #clutterbug #podcast #ClutterbugPodcast #CasAarssen #GretchenRubin #TheFourTendencies #FourTendencies #HappinessProject #Decluttering #DeclutterYourHome #HomeOrganization #OrganizingTips #GetOrganized #OrganizedHome #Clutter #ClutterFree #HouseholdManagement #HomeManagement #CleaningMotivation #Habits #HabitBuilding #FollowThrough #Procrastination #Perfectionism #ProgressNotPerfection #Accountability #OuterAccountability #Obliger #RebelTendency #Questioner #Upholder #ExecutiveFunction #Productivity #Motivation #Expectations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
If you've ever thought, “Why can I not get my life together when it comes to time?”—you are absolutely not alone.This conversation felt like such a breath of fresh air because we're not talking about rigid schedules, perfect planners, or waking up at 5am (thank goodness). Instead, we're digging into what actually works for real moms with real lives… you know, the kind where kids interrupt everything and plans fall apart before lunch.I had so much fun hearing about Anna's real-life experiences in the professional world, SO different than my life, and wait until you hear what we both have in common when it comes to being POOR at time management! I couldn't believe her confession about getting in trouble at work for a time-related issue…What I love most is that Anna brings so much grace and practicality to this topic. She doesn't expect perfection; and honestly, that might be the most freeing part of all.In this episode, you'll learn:Why time management isn't really about your planner (and what actually matters instead)A simple “mind sweep” method to instantly reduce overwhelm and clear your mental clutterHow to figure out what actually deserves your time (and what you can let go of)Practical ways to involve your kids so you're not doing everything yourselfWhat to do when your plans fall apart (because… they will)A simple framework to handle those chaotic, stressful moments without spiralingIf you've been feeling scattered, behind, or just plain overwhelmed, this episode is going to meet you right where you are, and give you a few doable steps to move forward.Resources We Mention for Time Management for MomsGet Anna's Blueprint to Balance hereBuy Anna's book, Time Management Essentials: The Tools You Need to Maximize Your Attention, Energy, and Productivity on Amazon or Bookshop.orgWhen we talk about being an “upholder” or a “rebel,” that's from Gretchen Rubin's book The Four Tendencies.Learn more from my interview with Megan Sumrell about managing your time, and check out her TOP program for a free training on getting your life together!Check out the cookbook FOR kids, BY kids at kidscookrealfood.com/chefjr. Get four free life skills workshops now at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/skillsKitchen StewardshipRaising Healthy Families follow Katie on Instagram or FacebookSubscribe to the newsletter to get weekly updatesYouTube shorts channel for HPHFind the Healthy Parenting Handbook at raisinghealthyfamilies.com/podcastAffiliate links used here. Thanks for supporting the Healthy Parenting Handbook!
Conflict with a sweetheart or a child can be hard to resolve. In this Revisited episode, we share some of our most useful conversations for using the Four Tendencies to stop the same fights from happening again. Resources & links related to this episode: Take the Four Tendencies Quiz here Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Why is it so hard to keep an exercise habit, even when we want to? We discuss what the Four Tendencies reveals about finding the approach that works for you—and the single strategy that almost anyone can use to make exercise stick. Spoiler: it's not motivation. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Some people have no trouble meeting expectations for others but struggle to follow through on what they want for themselves. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. We revisit the Four Tendencies to explore the three biggest challenges Obligers face—shame, exploitation, and rebellion—and what actually helps. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In honor of No-Spend February, we talk about why it’s a good time to turn in your coins and to use up your gift cards. We also talk about the juggler vs. aerialist distinction, and how the Four Tendencies framework can illuminate an experience of family estrangement. Resources & links related to this episode: Coinstar Wall Street Journal article by therapist Rachel Glik Elizabeth is reading: Strangers by Belle Burden (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Pnin by Vladimir Nabokov (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Why is it so hard getting yourself to do what you want to do? This overview of the Four Tendencies explains why motivation works differently for different people and how understanding how you respond to expectations can make follow-through easier. Resources & links related to this episode: Four Tendencies Framework Take the Four Tendencies quiz here Order The Four Tendencies here Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Procrastination isn't a character flaw—it's data. In this training, Sarah Olivieri shares how to turn "I can't make myself do it" into a practical clue about what needs to change: your expectations, the size of the task, or whether it even belongs on your plate. You'll learn a simple mindset shift (Wabi-Sabi procrastination), how the Four Tendencies can explain your patterns, and a few quick ways to redesign work so you actually get it done—without forcing yourself to become a different person. Episode Highlights 01:13 Today's Topic: Positive Procrastination 01:32 Personal Procrastination Story 03:21 Understanding Procrastination 06:19 The Four Tendencies Framework 08:38 Breaking Down Tasks 10:43 Delegation and Zone of Genius Resource The Board Clarity Club A monthly membership for boards that provides training and live expert support to help your board have total clarity on how to be the best board possible. Learn More >> About Your Host Have you seen Casino Royale? That moment when Vespa slides in elegantly, opposite James, all charming smile, razor-sharp wit and mighty brainpower, and says, "I'm the money"? Well, your host, Sarah Olivieri has been likened to Vespa by one of her clients – not just because she's charming, beautiful and brainy– but because that bold statement "I'm the money" was, as it turned out, right ON the money. Sarah helps nonprofits transform their organizations from failing to thriving. And she's very, very good at it. She's brought nonprofits back from the brink of insolvency. She's averted major cash-flow crises, solved funding droughts, board conflicts and everything in between… and so she has literally become "the money" for many of the organizations she works with. As the former director of 3 nonprofits and founder of 5 for-profit businesses, she understands, deeply, the challenges and complexities facing organizations and she's created a framework, called The Impact Method®️, which can help you simplify operations, build aligned teams and make a bigger impact without getting overwhelmed or burning out – and Every. Single. One. Of her clients that have implemented her methodologies have achieved the most incredible results. Sarah is also a #1 international bestselling author, holds a BA from the University of Chicago with a focus on globalization and its effect on marginalized cultures, and a master's degree in Humanistic and Multicultural Education from SUNY New Paltz. Access additional training at www.pivotground.com/funding-secrets or apply for the THRiVE Program for personalized support at www.pivotground.com/application Be sure to subscribe to Inspired Nonprofit Leadership so that you don't miss a single episode, and while you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! Let us know the topics or questions you would like to hear about in a future episode. You can do that and follow us on LinkedIn.
Why You Keep Starting Over (And The Habit System That Actually Works)If you keep starting over with your workouts, nutrition, or routines and you're starting to think the problem is your motivation or discipline, this episode will completely change how you think about habits.Because the truth is: willpower isn't the problem. Most people are using a habit system that doesn't match how they're wired. And when that happens, even the best plan eventually falls apart.In this episode of the Redefining Strength Podcast I sit down with Gretchen Rubin, one of the world's leading experts on habits, happiness, and human nature and the New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies.Together, we'll break down:Why some people need accountability, some need freedom, some need clarity, and why forcing yourself into the wrong system keeps you stuckThe Four Tendencies framework (Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels) and how each type should build habits differentlyWhy identity can either support your goals or secretly sabotage themThe simple One-Minute Rule that can dramatically reduce mental clutter and build momentumHow to stop blaming yourself and finally build habits that actually stickIf you've ever said:“I'm great for a few weeks and then I fall off.”“I know what to do, I just can't stay consistent.”“I feel like I'm always starting over.”This episode is for you.
We talk about why the realization “I could this this task better myself” can help us identify possible opportunities. We also talk about how to give a bad review in a nice way, and share imaginative accountability strategies. Resources & links related to this episode: Obituary for John Charles Craft Take the "Four Tendencies" personality quiz Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill In Our Time podcast by the BBC Elizabeth is reading: Full House by Janet Evanovich (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Possession by A. S. Byatt (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Why are you unhappy, even when everything in your life looks “fine” from the outside?In this episode, happiness expert and bestselling author Gretchen Rubin breaks down the real reasons people feel unhappy, unfulfilled, or stuck, and why traditional advice about happiness often fails. We talk about the hidden causes of unhappiness, the habits that quietly drain joy, and the practical changes that actually lead to lasting happiness.You'll learn why happiness is not a personality trait, why chasing happiness can make you feel worse, and how to build a happier life in a realistic, sustainable way, without toxic positivity or pressure to “just be grateful.”If you've ever asked yourself “Why am I unhappy?” or “Why don't I feel happy even though my life is good?”, this conversation will change how you think about happiness.In this episode:Why people feel unhappy even when life is going wellCommon happiness myths that make people feel worseThe habits that quietly reduce happinessHow to increase happiness in everyday lifePractical advice from Gretchen Rubin's researchAbout Gretchen Rubin:Gretchen Rubin is a bestselling author, Founder of The Happiness Project, and one of today's leading experts on happiness, habits, and human nature. Her books include The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, The Four Tendencies and Outer Order, Inner Calm and more.Gretchen's links:Happier with Gretchen Rubin PodcastWebsiteNewsletterQuizzes(00:01:02) Welcome Gretchen Rubin to the podcast.(00:05:00) Gretchen's beginnings and journey from law student to happiness expert.(00:09:27) What IS happiness anyways? Can we define it?(00:14:50) Can you control our own happiness? What if bad stuff happens?(00:19:40) Gretchen bestsellers: “Better Than Before” and “The Four Tendencies” (00:27:10) Why you shouldn't fight your fundamental natural tendency.(00:36:27) Why we need to know ourselves for better communication and how not to judge others but see them.(00:42:25) Change is hard. And what to do when lonely.(00:51:38) Is being unhappy a default human setting?(00:59:39) Do we need hobbies to be happy?(01:08:06) Where to find and hear more from Gretchen Rubin.Want to leave the TTSL Podcast a voicemail? We love your questions and adore hearing from you. https://www.speakpipe.com/TheThickThighsSaveLivesPodcastThe CVG Nation app, for iPhoneThe CVG Nation app, for AndroidOur Fitness FB Group.Thick Thighs Save Lives Workout ProgramsConstantly Varied Gear's Workout Leggings
In the replay of this popular episode, HETRA CEO Edye Godden is sharing with us how HETRA manages a healthy work culture. Tune in for real-world tools and reflections to help you lead with intention and keep what matters most at the center. Hear what tools we have used for staff development too!:Clifton Strengths Finder Gretchen Rubin's ‘Four Tendencies' Quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/Stay Interview - Get the copy of our questions on Patreon! patreon.com/notjustaponyrideLink for more information about the NEW mini course launching January 15: Trail to Sustainability: Securing Your Programs Future https://hetrauniversity.mykajabi.com/TrailtoSustainabilityMiniCourseFollow us on social and plug in here: https://hetrauniversity.mykajabi.com/HETRAUniversityLinks
Today, we're thrilled to share a conversation with New York Times bestselling author and happiness expert Gretchen Rubin, where we explored one of her most practical and game-changing frameworks: the Four Tendencies.Gretchen explains that we all face two types of expectations—outer expectations, like a church calling or a request from a boss or family member, and inner expectations, like a personal goal or habit. She observed that people tend to respond to these expectations in one of four consistent ways. She defines these responses as the Upholder, the Questioner, the Obliger, and the Rebel.Gretchen believes that understanding this one aspect of your personality can bring surprising clarity to your habits, relationships, and responsibilities.In faith communities, expectations often come from many directions—God, leaders, our ward family, and ourselves. This framework offers a gentle way to understand why some people feel energized, while others quietly burn out.Gretchen shares clear, practical strategies for each tendency so you can work with your nature, not against it. Whether you're navigating a calling, serving a mission, experiencing doubt, or trying to build a consistent scripture study habit, she shows how to avoid burnout and follow through.We've been so excited to share this episode. Once you start seeing yourself and others through the lens of the Four Tendencies, things shift. You'll begin to understand why your spouse loves checklists, why your teen needs to do things their own way, or why it can be so hard to say no. Gretchen explains that these patterns aren't flaws—they're clues, blueprints that can help us make better choices, lower stress, and show up more fully in our lives.We hope it's as eye-opening for you as it was for us.If you want to go deeper into the Four Tendencies or explore more of Gretchen's work, you can check out her book The Four Tendencies or her other bestsellers The Happiness Project and Better than Before. She also hosts an award-winning podcast called Happier with Gretchen Rubin where she and her sister dive into practical ways to build habits, boost happiness, and live with more intention. Thanks again for listening.
On this episode of Restorative Reading & Writing for Wellness, I'm diving into my favorite personality framework as a tool to help you build and grow your reading life: the Four Tendencies Framework created by Gretchen Rubin. Come listen as I share why right now is the perfect time of year to dive into this work, provide a quick overview of the Four Tendencies Framework and list ways you can boost your reading habits based on your particular tendency. I promise you, this episode could be a game-changer for your reading life.You'll find the show notes for the episode with links to all of the books and resources mentioned right here: https://www.alitlife.com/2025/12/02/how-the-four-tendencies-can-grow-your-reading-habit/Love this podcast and want more? Consider this your invitation to join my Get Lit(erate) Substack community! Each month, we take a deep dive into one bookish theme and work to bring it to life in our own lives. You'll get bonus episodes, book calendars, live book club and notebook sessions, special events and much more. Learn more at www.getliterate.co. Get your own Get Lit(erate). notebook to take notes on the books you want to read and notebook ideas you want to try: https://amzn.to/44wELKNIf you'd like to support the podcast, consider purchasing some Get Lit(erate). merchandise from my Zazzle store: https://www.zazzle.com/store/alitlifeAll earnings are funneled right back into the podcast expenses and maintenance fees. Thanks for your support!Follow Stephanie:Website: http://www.alitlife.com/ Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AffinitoLitTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/AffinitoLitInstagram: http://www.instagram.com/AffinitoLit
In this direct, practical conversation on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik explores how the four cardinal virtues—prudence, justice, fortitude, and temperance—become a usable framework for real-world mental and spiritual well-being. Guest Matthew Jandernoa, founder of Steadfast Life, reframes virtue from “rules” into a map for becoming fully human. You'll hear why freedom requires formation, how appetites shape choice, and a simple on-ramp: identify your “champion virtue” using Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies to build momentum. Matthew shares a client story showing how the prudential sub-virtue of alertness can reduce panic attacks by widening focus and restoring creativity. If you want a clear, non-fluffy path to calm, confidence, and integrity, this episode lays out the steps. About the guest Matthew Jandernoa is a husband, father, and founder of Steadfast Life, a movement helping people make virtue human again—practiced daily by families, leaders, and believers seeking wisdom, discipline, and love. Key takeaways: Virtue is human tech: The root of “virtue” (from vir, “human”) frames it as a map for being fully human, not a moral checklist. Four domains, four anchors: Prudence = thinking well Temperance = desiring well Fortitude = meeting fear well Justice = acting/interacting well Freedom needs formation: Unordered appetites distort reality; rightly ordered appetites increase true freedom and durable happiness. Start where you're strong: Use Four Tendencies to find a “champion virtue”: Upholder → Temperance Questioner → Prudence Obliger → Justice Rebel → FortitudeGrowing one virtue lifts all. Anxiety tool: alertness (prudence): Replace tunnel vision with creative option-generation to neutralize intrusive thoughts and regulate the nervous system. Everyday practice: Choose honesty over comfort, courage over fear, balance over excess, and fairness over ego—small, repeatable acts compound. Resources mentioned: steadfastlife.net, Institute of Catholic Culture's course on the Four Cardinal Virtues, Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies. Connect with the guest Website: steadfastlife.net Email: matthew@steadfastlife.net First call is free for introductions and questions about the virtues. Want to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? DM on PM - Send me a message on PodMatch DM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik Disclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only. The views expressed are the personal opinions of the guest and do not reflect the views of the host or Healthy Mind By Avik™️. We do not intend to harm, defame, or discredit any person, organization, brand, product, country, or profession mentioned. All third-party media used remain the property of their respective owners and are used under fair use for informational purposes. By watching, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer. Healthy Mind By Avik™️ is a global platform redefining mental health as a necessity, not a luxury. Born during the pandemic, it's become a sanctuary for healing, growth, and mindful living. Hosted by Avik Chakraborty—storyteller, survivor, wellness advocate—this channel shares powerful podcasts and soul-nurturing conversations on: • Mental Health & Emotional Well-being• Mindfulness & Spiritual Growth• Holistic Healing & Conscious Living• Trauma Recovery & Self-Empowerment With over 4,400+ episodes and 168.4K+ global listeners, join us as we unite voices, break stigma, and build a world where every story matters.
We discuss why a weekly "Saturday Synch-up" can reduce squabbling and make coordinating schedules much easier. We also share happiness lessons learned from six months of living with a puppy. Plus, we answer a listener question about the best way for an Obliger to ask questions of a Questioner without causing resistance. Resources & links related to this episode: Listen to the new podcast Since You Asked with Lori Gottlieb and Gretchen Rubin Check out the new Happiness Project tools Take the Four Tendencies quiz: Are you an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? Elizabeth is: So busy that she's not reading anything right now Gretchen is reading: Millions by Frank Cottrell Boyce (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Send us a textThe Four Tendencies in Birth: How Knowing Yourself Shapes Your ExperienceIn this episode of The Ultimate Birth Partner Podcast, I explore how Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework can help women, partners, and birth professionals better understand how we respond to expectations — and why that matters so much in pregnancy and birth.I share real-life examples of how each Tendency (Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel) might prepare for birth, how they may respond in the moment, and the unique challenges or strengths they bring into the birth room.You'll hear:✨ Why self-awareness is one of the most powerful tools you can take into labour✨ How partners can better support by recognising their own style and their loved one's needs✨ Why birth professionals and doulas benefit from tailoring their approach depending on the woman or family they're working with✨ What to do if you don't know your care provider's Tendency — and how to get your point across clearly in the moment✨ How to express your own Tendency in your Birth Manifesto® so your values, priorities, and boundaries are unmistakably clearThis episode is full of stories, practical strategies, and even scripts you can use to explain yourself to others, helping you strengthen your inner compass and stay aligned with what matters most.Resources & Links:Learn more about creating your Birth Manifesto® in my Discover Your North Star course - https://payhip.com/b/8PSYiGretchen Rubins The Four Tendencies Quiz - https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend or leave a review — it makes such a differenceIf you love the podcast and would like to support it, then please use the link to 'buy me a coffee' - https://bmc.link/sallyannberesfordIf you would like to buy a copy of either of the books that accompany this podcast please go to your online bookseller or visit Amazon:-Labour of Love - The Ultimate Guide to Being a Birth Partner - click here:-https://bit.ly/LabourofloveThe Art of Giving Birth - Five Key Physiological Principles - https://amzn.to/3EGh9dfPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth' - Black and White version https://amzn.to/3CvJXmOPregnancy Journal for 'The Art of Giving Birth'- Colour version https://amzn.to/3GknbPFYou can find all my classes and courses on my website - www.sallyannberesford.co.uk Follow me on Instagram @theultimatebirthpartner Book a 1-2-1 session with Sallyann - https://linktr.ee/SallyannBeresford Please remember that the information shared with you in this episode is solely based on my own personal experiences as a doula and the private opinions of my guests, based on their own experiences. Any recommendations made may not be suitable for ...
In this episode, I explore the themes and invitations of autumn, focusing on self-care for women in midlife season of life.In this episode, you'll discover:If you're a highly sensitive person, you may notice that grief and melancholy arise in autumn—even when you haven't experienced an obvious loss. Here's why this happens and what it meansHow you can listen to your difficult emotions as wise messengers rather than problems you need to fix or push awayWhy autumn invites you to strip away, let go, and engage in truth-telling about what no longer serves youThe reason holding onto old identities and patterns keeps you stuck—and how you can recognize when it's time to release themHow you can navigate the vulnerable "in-between space" when you've let go of what was but haven't fully stepped into what's nextIf you love rhythm and routine but also have a rebel streak, here's how you can honor both by building intentional breaks into your lifeHow you can use this seasonal transition as an opportunity for meaningful self-care and inner explorationResources Mentioned:Free autumn resource with reflection prompts and self-care exercises: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/Podcast episode about grief/Samhain: listen on apple podcasts
What does it truly mean to be happy—and how do we make time for it amidst the chaos of daily life? On this episode of That's Total Mom Sense, I sit down with one of the most influential observers of human nature, Gretchen Rubin. She's a five-time New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Better Than Before, and The Four Tendencies and host of the beloved Happier podcast. We explore her childhood, family influences, and how she turned her curiosity into a career that's transforming how millions approach habits, relationships, and self-understanding. From practical happiness hacks to the surprising psychology behind everyday choices, this episode will leave you feeling seen, inspired, and ready to reclaim your joy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We explore whether it's better to seek out new experiences or enjoy familiar favorites when traveling. Plus, we share a surprising hack about alternatives to flossing, and how we’re approaching fall routines. Resources & links related to this episode: Learn your Tendency and learn more about the "Four Tendencies" framework "Dentists know you hate flossing. Try this instead." GUM soft-picks Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sometimes, to be happier, we need to confront one enormous, daunting goal that we would really prefer to avoid. We discuss what those kinds of intimidating goals might be, offer suggestions for how to approach them, and share many encouraging examples from listeners. Resources & links related to this episode: Are you a marathoner or a sprinter, in your work pace? Quiz for the Four Tendencies personality framework Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to stick to goals that matter to you, but you can follow through easily when someone else is counting on you? Or why one of your children seems to resist every rule, while another lives for structure and routine? This week's guest, Sarah Joslin, walks us through a personality framework that has the power to transform the way we see ourselves and our kids. Based on The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin, this simple but powerful model explains how we each respond to expectations—and how we can use that understanding to build better routines, boundaries, and relationships in our homes. In this episode, you'll hear:
Struggling to stick to your goals? THIS could be why. In this episode, I sit down with happiness expert and bestselling author Gretchen Rubin to break down one self-awareness tool that will help you finally build the habits that WORK for you. We dive into the Four Tendencies framework behind why some people need accountability and others need freedom to thrive. We talk about why understanding your type completely changes how you show up for your goals, your relationships, and your career. Get ready to unlock your tendency and build better habits! In This Episode You Will Learn IDENTIFY your tendency and BUILD habits that actually stick. How to STOP relying on motivation and START taking action. Why ACCOUNTABILITY works for some but not for others. How RESISTANCE to rules can be your greatest strength. The #1 question to ENSURE your resolutions MATCH your tendency. How to use OUTER ORDER to create more INNER CALM. What to do when you're STUCK in a rut. How your relationships, work style, and even daily routines improve with more SELF-AWARENESS. Resources + Links Take the Four Tendencies Quiz: quiz.gretchenrubin.com Grab Gretchen's book “Outer Order Inner Calm” HERE Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Download the CFO's Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Want to do more and spend less like Uber, 8x8, and Databricks Mosaic? Take a free test drive of OCI at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Get 10% off your first Mitopure order at timeline.com/CONFIDENCE. Get 15% off your first order when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout at jennikayne.com. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553! Visit heathermonahan.com Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/ Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Follow Heather on Instagram & LinkedIn Gretchen on Instagram & LinkedIn
In this episode, I sit down with Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author and happiness expert, to explore the intricacies of personal happiness, self-understanding, and ways to live your happiest life. Gretchen shares the inspiration behind her book "The Happiness Project," and the journey to finding her own personal happiness. We dive deep into her Four Tendencies Framework and how our personality types and habit forming affect our happiness. We discuss the impact of sensory experiences on our well-being, the complex relationship between money and happiness, and the joy of reading as a form of self-care.Key Takeaways / Points:What sparked “The Happiness Project” and Gretchen's own journey to finding personal happinessHow personality type plays a role in habit forming and personal growthUnderstanding “The Four Tendencies” framework and how to create effective resolutions based on your tendencyWhy sensory experiences are crucial for happiness and how to manage sensory overloadThe role our five senses play in our well-being and what our favorite sense isCan money buy happiness?Practical tips for improving relationships and happiness in your daily lifeReading for pleasure and how to make time for itSponsors:Cotton: Learn more at TheFabricOfOurLives.comVenmo: Visit Venmo.me/debit to learn more and sign up todayArya: Go to Arya.Fyi/Cameron to get 15% off your first orderThrive Market: Go to ThriveMarket.com/cameron, to get thirty percent off your first order, plus a FREE sixty dollar gift just for signing up.LMNT: Right now LMNT is offering a free 8-count Sample Pack of their most popular drink flavors with any purchase. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/cameronCaraway: Visit Carawayhome.com/CAMERON and take an additional 10% off your next purchaseFollow Gretchen:Instagram: @gretchenrubinTwitter: @gretchenrubinWebsite: gretchenrubin.com Podcast: Happier with Gretchen RubinTake the Four Tendencies quiz HEREFollow me:Instagram: @cameronoaksrogers and @conversationswithcamSubstack: Fill Your CupWebsite: cameronoaksrogers.comTikTok: @cameronoaksrogers and @conversations_with_camYoutube: Cameron RogersProduced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
We discuss how to make use of counterintuitive research that shows that our ability to change our minds often makes us less satisfied with our choices. We share a helpful smartphone hack for scheduling text messages. Plus we continue our discussion about handling a spouse who makes hurtful "jokes," with practical advice from listeners who've successfully addressed this issue. Resources & links related to this episode: Take the Four Tendencies quiz to find out whether you're an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Sign up for Bookshop's summer reading challenge on the homepage at gretchenrubin.com Download the Happier app Elizabeth is reading: The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Round the Bend by Neville Shute (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
In the “Four Tendencies” personality framework, tech legend Steve Jobs was a Questioner. At a crucial moment, his question was ignored—with profound consequences. Resources & links related to this episode: Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We discuss why it’s useful to identify the "ugliest thing" in your life—i.e., what aspect needs the most attention? We also share an easy hack about enhancing family memories, and we explore a Four-Tendencies situation involving a young-adult son's surprising reaction to his father's lateness. We wrap up with listener suggestions for creative before-and-after photo books. Resources & links related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood After Hours with Jamie Rubin podcast The Four Tendencies Take The "Four Tendencies" Quiz Download the Happier app Elizabeth is reading: Climbing in Heels by Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Two Serious Ladies by Jane Bowles (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential observers of happiness and human nature. In addition to hosting the award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she shares practical strategies for building a happier, healthier, more creative life, Gretchen is also the bestselling author of The Happiness Project, The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, Life in Five Senses, and now Secrets of Adulthood, a delightful collection of her signature aphorisms—concise, thought-provoking truths gathered from her own experiences and reflections on human nature. Today, Gretchen shares a wealth of bite-sized, digestible truths with Jen and Amy that acknowledge problems everyone faces. “What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.” “Outer order contributes to inner calm.” “A strong voice repels as well as attracts.” “Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.” And our personal favorite, “Choose the bigger life.” Gretchen also delves into the Four Tendencies and helps Jen and Amy unpack their profiles to better understand whether they are an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel. Anyone want to take bets? Thought-provoking Quotes: “Happier people are more interested in the problems of the world. And they're more interested in the problems of the people around them. They're more likely to volunteer. They're more likely to vote. They're more likely to donate their time or their money. They're more likely to help out if someone needs a hand. When we're happier, we're able to turn outward and to think about the problems of the world.” – Gretchen Rubin “Action is the antidote to anxiety.” – Gretchen Rubin “There's really no more eloquent way to put this: one of the best ways to make friends is to make friends with the friends of your friends.” – Gretchen Rubin “When we're doing something hard, it feels like the times are hard." – Gretchen Rubin Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Camino de Santiago Pilgrimage - https://santiago-compostela.net/ Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives by Gretchen Rubin - https://amzn.to/4kq8TzF The Happier App - https://thehappierapp.com/ David Sedaris The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin - https://amzn.to/3S9OXox The Four Tendencies Quiz - https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/ The English Understand Wool by Helen DeWitt - https://amzn.to/43iUOgg The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt - https://amzn.to/43tjDaF 5 Things Making Me Happy Newsletter - https://gretchenrubin.com/newsletter/5-things-making-me-happy-september-16-2022/ Sandwich: A Novel by Catherine Newman - https://amzn.to/4m9KGiy Guest's Links: Website - https://gretchenrubin.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/GretchenRubin TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@gretchenrubin Connect with Jen!Jen's Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen's Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen's Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen's Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen's YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
We bring you my interview with NPR's Life Kit where I discuss that the key to happiness is actually to know yourself better and what questions to ask yourself. We also discuss my Four Tendencies framework and one of my favorite "try this at home" hacks: the one minute rule. Resources & links related to this episode: Four Tendencies Quiz One-minute rule Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We talk to the brilliant Suzy Welch about her new book, “Becoming You,” and her Values Bridge quiz which can tells us how we rank fifteen core values—and we explore why knowing our values is such a key element to creating happier lives. Resources & links related to this episode: Becoming You by Suzy Welch (Amazon, Bookshop) "The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver The Values Bridge quiz The Four Tendencies quiz List of some of my favorite graduation books Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We discuss why it’s useful to dust off unused items--and either start using them or give them away. We also share a happiness hack from a listener who explains why it can be very valuable to give physical therapy another chance. Finally, we explore the Secret of Adulthood about cultivating friendship, and we answer a listener's question about how and why fictional characters often embody the Four Tendencies framework. Resources & Links Related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood A Little Happier: Easy Answers or Hard Truths: Whom Do You Trust? Organization Hub Take the quiz for the Four Tendencies personality profile Elizabeth is reading: King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Pick the Lock by A.S. King (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We explore why making a list of your favorite words ("whimsy," "crackle," "latibulate") and using them can boost happiness. We share a simple hack that makes packing easier, and we reflect on a dog-related Secret of Adulthood. We also tackle a listener question about how to manage Obliger-rebellion when facing increased workload after coworker layoffs. Resources & links related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Sign up for the Happier in Hollywood Substack newsletter Happiness Hack: Ratio method of 3:1 Quiz for the Four Tendencies personality framework I Want You to Know journal Elizabeth is reading: Lights Out by Navessa Allen (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: The Catastrophe Hour by Meghan Daum (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
➡️ Like The Podcast? Leave A Rating: https://ratethispodcast.com/successstory In this "Lessons" episode, Gretchen Rubin, Happiness Expert, breaks down the four tendencies framework that illuminates how responses to expectations shape behavior. Learn why identifying whether you're an upholder, questioner, obliger, or rebel is vital for self-awareness, and understand how this insight empowers better decision-making and personal growth.➡️ Show Linkshttps://successstorypodcast.com YouTube: https://youtu.be/sBxJD-Hn9JIApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gretchen-rubin-nyt-bestselling-author-podcaster-speaker/id1484783544Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2VINQSxl2eynFL1K8FZLks➡️ Watch the Podcast on YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/c/scottdclary
Getting Curious just got a Queer Eye makeover all its own! Today we're entering a new era of the podcast - Getting Better! We're so excited you're joining us on this next chapter. This podcast will help guide you through life's shared challenges—and leave you feeling a little bit better. This week JVN and Gretchen explore the art (and science) of feeling optimistic in an era of stress, burnout, and uncertainty. Together, they unpack the difference between real optimism and toxic positivity, why small daily habits have an outsized impact on our well-being, and how understanding ourselves can lead to a more joyful life. From finding delight in the ordinary to overcoming the “optimism drought” so many of us are feeling, Gretchen shares actionable insights that will leave you inspired to cultivate happiness—on your own terms. Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential voices on happiness, habits, and human nature. She's the author of multiple bestsellers, including The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies, and the host of the Happier podcast. In her newest book, Secrets of Adulthood (out April 1st), she distills decades of research and personal insight into practical wisdom for living a fuller, more meaningful life. Full Video Episodes now available on YouTube. You can follow Gretchen on Instagram @gretchenrubin. You can find more information about Gretchen, here and you can listen to Happier wherever you get your podcasts, and check out Gretchen's YouTube for more video content! Follow us on Instagram @CuriousWithJVN to join the conversation. Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN. Find books from Getting Curious guests at bookshop.org/shop/curiouswithjvn. Our senior producer is Chris McClure. Our editor, engineer, & videographer is Nathanael McClure. Production support from Julie Carrillo, Anne Currie, and Chad Hall. Our theme music is composed by Chris McClure & Nathanael McClure. Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
We explore a helpful approach for handling important tasks that can’t be dealt with at present, by stashing them in the metaphorical "messy closet" without guilt. Our happiness hack offers expert advice for managing social situations with difficult people. We also feature a special interview with legendary author Judy Blume about fostering a love of reading, her experiences with book banning, and insights from owning an indie bookstore. Resources & Links Related to this episode: Pre-order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Join me on book tour starting April 1, 2025 Take the Four Tendencies quiz Elizabeth is reading: Code Girls: The Untold Story of the American Women Code Breakers of World War II by Liza Mundy (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Stone Yard Devotional by Charlotte Wood (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We explore the powerful practice of distilling your hard-earned observations into concise "Secrets of Adulthood,” such as "Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination" and "The more I write, the more I write." We also talk about the simple pleasure of physical magazines, and we tackle a complex Four Tendencies question about supporting an Obliger mother-in-law whose helpfulness contributed to her health problems. Resources and links related to this episode: A Little Happier: The Power of Telling the Truth--What Nebraska's and Oslo's Tourists Know Pre-order my new book, Secrets of Adulthood Take the Next Novel quiz Take the Four Tendencies quiz Elizabeth is reading: Fruit of the Dead by Rachel Lyon (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Give War and Peace a Chance: Tolstoyan Wisdom for Troubled Times by Andrew Kaufman (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
We explore how advice meant for college freshmen—from practical packing tips to strategies for making friends—can benefit all of us. (Special guest: Gretchen’s daughter, currently a college freshman.) We also offer suggestions for a Rebel who struggles with late-night snacking, and share hacks for being a considerate houseguest and for getting more pleasure of reading. Resources and links related to this episode: Happier in Hollywood Substack newsletter Happiness Project shop "Five Things" newsletter Four Tendencies quiz Elizabeth is reading: Shred Sisters by Betsy Lerner (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: The Crow Trap by Ann Cleeves (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.