Clerk & Dagger

And we're back! It's the season finale, the top of the 6th inning, and the Lizard People are up 6-5. The world order is at stake! So we have one question for you: Are you ready for some soft...ball?

It's the first part of the season finale, so get your pennants and softball caps ready! It's the Lizard People vs. the Illuminati! Who will win control of the Illuminati Office and the Earth? 

The Moleman's prophecies were true! Elder Lizard Prime and her loyal lounges of lizards are drawing up battle plans and ascending from the Inner Earth in their fleet of Magmabusses to conquer the Illuminati once and for all!

Ahoy! Mystery Ken and Trouble the Cat are marooned in a pipe sticking out of the vast underground ocean, until a mysterious day care boat arrives in their time of need. Will our two lost souls become guests aboard this eerie ship, or will they join the ranks of the captive orphans? 

Mazes! Minotaurs! Musicals! The unhinged, subterranean Moleman traps our small party of Illuminati coworkers with a dangerously imaginative game of his own design!

Down we go into HR Giger's dungeon to check out his expansive VHS collection for clues about the Lizard People. Perhaps our intrepid office workers will find the answers they seek in the home movies of HR's old unhinged friend - the Moleman!

Deception! Impostors! Lizard People! Turns out the new interns were scouts sent up from the Lizards in the Inner Earth to infiltrate our beloved Illuminati! Let's take them to court! Everybody, into the conference room for a quick courtroom parody sesh...

Ruh-Roh! It's a midseason finale! Jaime Buffet & his buddy Roadie stumble upon a body, Chaad & Mikey aka the Bizness Boyz are back in action to solve the crime, and secrets are revealed about the mysterious new interns!

Hank and Lloyd have a special treat for their new intern Guy Fieri! He's in for a cosmic whirlwind of flavor!

Tonight on a very special Clerk & Dagger, Satan is in disguise and on the ground floor in the newest episode of the hit reality TV show Incognito CEO! Will the workers at the Illuminati figure out it's him? Will Satan learn a valuable lesson about life as a low-level employee? What cool gifts will Satan dish out at the end? Find out tonight on Incognito CEO!

It's Clawsday in the depths of the Inner Earth, so you know what that means! Let's all go to the Human Zoo! Yes, it's the perfect day for all the lizard boys and girls to listen in on the human specimens go about their business in their natural sitcom habitats. Be sure to pay a visit to one of the newest captives known as…Mystery Ken.

Sam and Jimothy meet this mysterious new batch of interns and divvy them out to train under other coworkers. Keep an eye out on these fresh new faces!

No one escapes the office of the Illuminati! Clerk & Dagger returns to find Samantha Newberg settled into her well-earned role of "All-Star Intern" and overseeing a company carnival and picnic jamboree. New food is invented! Four new interns arrive! Tammy reveals a secret!

In this second and final part of the season finale, Sam goes to the depths of bathrooms to find a mystical object long thought to be non-existent and quite possibly the only object that could stop Mystery Ken's evil plan -- The Rule Book!

Sam awakens from the Dream Machine into a world of Casual Friday - a world of shorts, lime-a-ritas, and some jams! How is Sam going to get through the first part of this super-casj Clerk & Dagger Finale?

While locked and knocked out within the Dream Machine, Sam appears inside HR Giger's weird dream. She must find her way out with the help of Lil Dream Giger to investigate Mystery Ken's mysterious plan.

Sam is distracted from her task of gathering signatures to follow a mysterious sound. What secrets will she uncover? What lives in the foul depths of the office park?

Chaad and Mikey take it over and go through the office to solve a mystery in their own kickass way! Y'all ready for this?!

Gary quests for an outlet for the scavenger hunt to win Gail's affection, customer service gals Sallie Mae and Chevrolette hang out in the breakroom and take everybody down a peg, and Sam returns from the Cryptozoo!

After waking up from a long nap/sedation, Sam is placed in a room to watch an old copy of "New Employee Safety and Training" video.

Tammy's favorite day of the week has finally arrived: Monday! In order to keep the internet on, she must lead the weekly ritualistic bloodletting and lasagna potluck to appease the Wise One.

Everybody's gotta go to the bathroom sometime during the workday! While you're there, chat it up with everyone's favorite Bathroom Priest! You don't have much of a choice, he's always there for you! Samantha confesses her progress to the Bathroom Priest, and the mysterious evil mastermind truly behind the petition for Casual Friday emerges...

Gary hasn't made a single phone call in customer service for years because of his D20-based contract. He's been on an incredible three-year luck streak! He spends most of his lonely days in his head as his heroic, high-fantasy self. However on this day of all days - Gambling Day - his luck is about to change!

After getting a secret mission from the Bathroom Priest, Sam's new job is to go around the office to get a mysterious petition signed. Her first stop: The Department of Synergy, which just barely contains the very energized, buzzword-inventing Hank and Lloyd!

Uh oh! Looks like Samantha's actions landed her into the biomechanical lair of Human Resources, which is managed by none other than HR Giger!

Samantha Newberg starts a strange new job she found on Craigslist and meets her absurd coworkers.