Flat 29's Big Book of Everything - Flat 29

Flat 29 are back with a new podcast for 2021. It’s been a long time and we shouldn’t have left you (without a dope beat to step to…) Talking of dope beats, this chapter sees the return of Flat 20-Rhymes with 3 brand new songs for you. But don’t worry, it’s also a quiz/game/chat and this time it’s all about Spring. As ever, we cover all the main topics including how many PS5’s are there in the Vatican, the role of the slinky proprietor and a new private detective come garden furniture based duo - Rowlinson and Plumley.

FURNITURE! It’s exciting isn’t it!? In this chapter Dan keeps a seat available for the Traveling Wilburys, Charlie wins a pitch to develop a new IKEA themed Marvel character, and Rich misses his perfectly designed office.

In this meteorological chapter, Dan plays bollock bingo, Rich invents a velcro gun and Charlie gets 'Wind' of Earth Wind and Fire fame to take the legends slot at his weather-based festival.

In this historic chapter, Charlies fantasy dinner party lacks ROFLs, Dan imagines a Sonic 1 themed fridge and Rich has some significant thoughts in the Natural History Museum. PLUS a big musical announcement! Listen to the new EP ‘Memories of a Cruise’ on 8th May 2020 available on all good streaming platforms! http://ffm.to/memoriesofacruise

In this brand NEW episode for a brand NEW year we welcome the return of Flat 20 Rhymes! That's right, a brand NEW song from Flat 29! Meanwhile, Rich gifts a calligraphy experience, Dan gets down with the kids and Charlie attaches laser-canons to babies for the impending apocalypse. We also announce the launch of Secret Handshake on a streaming service near you from 25th January 2020!

In this chapter we call Axel F, Dan messes with Rich’s Amazon suggestion algorithms and Charlie hugs the front row of an Ed Sheeran concert.

Bienvenue au restaurant. Bon appétit! In this episode, Charlie administers a post-meal stomach and buttock massage, Dan dresses as a Lasagne Merman, and Rich asks the question that’s on everyone’s mind - how’s that powered? En Garde!

In this episode, Charlie alphabetises the supermarket aisles, Rich tries to turn the shopping experience in to Crystal Maze situation and Dan promises to explain how to get free coffee from Waitrose. The stakes are high, who will win the opportunity to bring back Supermarket Sweep to our screens!?

Happy New Year! Flat 29 are back for an exciting new year of podcasting fun in 2019! In this episode Rich submerges himself in rice, Charlie launches a colour enthusiasm hotline and Dan starts a new festival to improve couples relationships which is essentially a queue with a samba band.

Feeling hot hot hot! In this scorcher of an episode, we send Mr Klumpz up in to space to turn down the sun, strip down to our skeletons to keep cool and drink shed loads of Lilt to get our music to the top of the charts!

Flat 29 are back with a new podcast for 2018. In this episode, Dan eats croissants in charge of heavy machinery, Rich reveals his ideas about ‘The Cake Diet’, and Charlie invents the next breakfast sensation in the form of ‘Baguettefast’ (the meal), not to be confused with ‘Baguettemas’ (the new national holiday).

In this episode Charlie shares his coping strategies for stony beaches, Rich gets taunted by his sea shoes and Dan gets creative with his flip flops! Any one fancy a game of ‘Besty Deaths’? ….Thought not ;)

In this house-related episode (not the music genre or TV show!) Charlie moves next to a Super Club, we start a new band called 'Ambient Simon' and Dan gets judged on his arc rather than his individual performance causing him much anger and distress.

BUY, BUY, BYE! In this chapter we explore the origin of the Werther Original, discover the pinnacle of western music and get a little giddy talking about lenticular photographs. Well, Dan does, everyone else is fine. Perplexed even.

In this packed Christmas special we attempt two full quizzes, a new song, a play from the archive, plus festive chat about bowel movements! Happy Christmas Everyone!

This week we’re talking insects; bugs and shit! Charlie drinks a few cans of Stella with a wasp, Rich workshops a bad pun; AntyPasty (Antipasti) and Dan acts as chaperone to a ladybird visiting the STD Clinic.

In this frightful chapter Charlie romances a ghost on a hot air balloon, Rich haunts his nemesis by turning on data roaming and Dan talks about Lionel Richie's 'Hello', NOT the hit single from the 1990 motion picture 'Ghost'!

In this "beige mulch" of an episode we talk a shitload about pens and push the boundaries of the rules by issuing minus points, pity points and humility points. On the bright side we have done a song to make up for it! Sorry it's been a while guys.

In this swashbuckling adventure we try to revolutionise the classic game Pop-Up Pirate, Dan legitimately downloads Dirty Dancing, and we argue about the Superman theme tune. Plus plenty of references to Game of Thrones much to Rich’s annoyance!

Flat 29 are back with their first podcast in 2016 (we know, it took a while!) In this episode we discuss jousting cats, whatever happened to firewire and plot the demise of Ant & Dec. Plus we talk over the jingles! Say waaaa? SO unprofessional.

Ho ho ho Merry Christmas! In this special festive chapter we come up with a formula for how much is too much when it comes to Christmas decorations, Dan improves upon one of the existing Christmas hits and we lace the crackers with cocaine and a mulling kit, which you could use on everything up to, and including, your own piss. We have also written some new Christmas songs for you to enjoy! Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! See you in 2016 xxx

DICTIONARY! DDDD... DICTIONARY! In this special episode of the podcast Dan, Charlie and Rich take a look at the "other" big book of everything; the English Dictionary. Just 3 guys, 3 dictionaries and 1 microphone, what could possibly go wrong? Turns out quite a lot!

In this chapter Charlie makes a card replica of his uncles face, Rich designs a crude business card for Dan, and as for Dan; "He's doing alright!" If you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this podcast please email us on podcast@flat29.com

In this chapter Rich is ridiculed for doing some Google research, we break the news of the deaths of "Cheekychops" and "Cheekychops 2" to five-year-old Dan, and we stitch an elephants trunk to a pigs back to give birth to "Detective Pigaphant"! Also Charlie writes a new song in the long awaited return of Flat Twenty Rhymes.

Flat 29 are back after a year of silence. In this chapter we listen to Marvin Gaye’s new song; “Brushing Past A Woman-Child”, order the new Dominos ‘Infinity Meats’ Pizza and LIKE Pythagorus' Facebook Page! And for good measure we put nipples on three, eight and pretty much any other number we feel like.

Curl up in a panini and enjoy Chapter 49 - Adventures, taking you on a bus journey to nowhere, visiting a guinnie pig nursery, and going to a Madness gig with Hitler. Happy July everyone!... almost...

Almost a year after our last chapter WE ARE BACK to talk about EASTER just A FEW WEEKS after the Easter festivities have COMPLETELY FINISHED. Re-live the chocolate-based magic with Chapter 48, fired directly into your mouth at high velocity from a satellite orbiting the Earth. Delicious!

In this mini-chapter we get a free thing, and Ringo solves a crime.. who saw that coming? Not Paul.

In this chapter we investigate a murder mystery involving all of Rich's family, fondly recount our best ever wounds, and question the continuity of cereal box characters.

Recorded before an audience of real life Americans, this chapter includes talk of Clone Cleanliness, the Queen's open-door psychiatry policy, and the triumphant yet physically demanding return of On The Wonk!

In this chapter we reminisce about free space pens, devise a complicated wishing-well-based online payment system involving dragons and CEOs wallowing in pennies, and spend quite a long time refining an equation for calculating the appropriate value of cash gifts. ITS A LAUGH RIOT!

In this chapter Rich misunderstands the geography of the ocean, we keep tidal waves at bay with a wall of crusty bloomers, and Clive the Starfish collects antiques in space.. available now for sega megadrive

In this, our third annual live podcast for the Pride 48 weekend, we take the seven deadly sins to task, bravely calling out The Bible just a couple of thousand years after it's release date. So sue us, Moses! Have a listen first though, it's basically some idiots misunderstanding the concept of sin, so it might be fine.

Flat 29 member Rich has gone and done a wedding! In this chapter of our Big Book of Everything we reflect on the big day, the highs and lows, the naked breakdancing and the uncontrollable bleeding. We enjoy some interviews with key wedding personnel, and marvel as Rich becomes totally leathered before our ears. After all that, we kick back and talk about The Matrix, pros and cons of marrying your cousin, and wether the RnB skankmaster remix of Mysterious Girl by Peter Andre is appropriate for a first dance. Happy wedding Rich!

In this chapter we exclusively reveal the shady, secret life of holiday reps, the shameful, secret bin/zumba antics of Dan, and the terrifying secret of The Castle of Rabid Monkeys (brown sign attraction)

For this mega-chapter of Flat 29's Big Book of Everything we are joined by Sara Davis of podcast How Much Do We Love, and Emily Davis (no relation) who you will have heard in various guises in loads of previous Flat 29 podcast chapters. With these excellent dudes, we talk about phones in potatoes, calling your eggs and eating pizzas around your neck.

In the first Chapter of Volume 3 of our Big Book of Everything, we identify the Novelty Homer Simpson Bottle Opener as the best item to have in the event of a nuclear holocaust, Rich throws sticky orange drinks all over the queen, and we invent an app for remotely neglecting a dog while staring in to its sad, sad eyes.

A brief introduction to Flat 29's Big Book of Everything Volume Three

This may not be Flat 29's Big Book of Everything Chapter 39 - Albums, but it does contain instructions on how to get it! Simply go to flat29.com, click on Music, and buy our new album SECRET HANDSHAKE for music, extras, and the elusive podcast chapter 39!

Another bonus podcast to keep you going until the start of Big Book of Everything Volume Three! Dan's Xmas Mixtape 2011 features Dan of Flat 29 with his brother Tristan talking about melting down plastic toys into a swimming pool, knitting a liquorice jumper, and a bit about Christmas music too. Also features a false confirmation of when the new podcast series will start, and a brand new Flat 29 Christmas Song!

In this LIVE chapter on Las Vegas, Digital Dan and Robot Rich talk us through the etiquette of giving your own eulogy at an inpromptu Las Vegas funeral, and explain why George Clooney looks like the sort of man who would operate a fairground attraction. Meanwhile Charlie pops in to marry his father. All in gloriously variable audio quality.

In this, the final chapter of Volume Two of our Big Book of Everything, we selflessly become superstar DJs to serve our country, Rich reprises his role as Santa in his school play, and we replace the toys in Kinder Surprises with a line of bleak poetry to teach children about the futility of life.

In this chapter, we take an open top bus load of tourists through a labyrinth to slay a minotaur and help us bond as a team, Rich writes a self help book mostly fully of Sudokus, and we build up a Christmas army to help us storm Santa's castle, deck the elves, and save Christmas. Or destroy it. We can't remember which. Also features a game of On The Wonk with Jason from the Milk Bar Podcast and Dan's brother Tristan.

In the sexiest of chapters, charlie leads an angry mob, rich changes fashion to make the crotch more accessible, and we discuss the eternal question whats better - flexi time or sexy time. We also play a game of work-in-progress quiz On The Wonk with Colin and Matt from Amazing Radio's The Saturday Show.

In this chapter we convince Martin Bashir to take up a new career as a cashier, introduce a complicated pay and display system whereby you share your science project in lieu of money, and launch a range of savory scondiments, perfect accompaniments to your favourite savoury scones. Also includes the semi-successful pilot of new wonk-based quiz, On The Wonk. So have a listen! Or, as a nice lady once shouted at Rich... what's the matter, don't you like fun?

In this chapter Rich shares an intermittently sexy cockney story, a Stephen Fry lookalike mouths audiobooks at us as we drift off to sleep, and guest host Tristan presents his new angle-based chat show, On The Wonk.

In this chapter we give historical heroes a reassuring tickle, Rich dreams of impressing his family with a cup and ball trick, and we investigate ways of hiring the concept of maths into our ever expanding staff. And rumour has it there may be some news as to the fate of a certain time travelling professor...

No new chapter this week I'm afraid! Instead, we have been digging through our bins, and have found a whole collection of clips that didn't make it into previous chapters.

In this chapter Flat 29 share their boring passions in an effort to convert one and other to their boring way of life. Rich looks at - but never touches - electrical leads, Charlie talks about the decline of CD sales in too much detail, and Dan's passion for software updates confuses and terrifies us all.

In this chapter Charlie imagines a life where his dad is a cup of tea, Rich tries to get a drugged up owl back on the straight and narrow, and Dan overenthusiastically promotes Sleeping Lunches, or Slunches, in which office workers cuddle up with a colleague, selected at random every lunchtime, after a tough mornings work.

In this chapter we send drawings of items we have bought on ebay to their previous owners, enjoy an orchestral arrangement of the dialup modem theme, and a teenage Rich googles David Bowie, while unbenownst to him, David Bowie googles him right back.