Inside Out Podcast with Therapist & Mom Eden Hyder

Have you ever wondered why we love people who hurt us or treat us badly? Eden answers this question from an attachment perspective. ⁠We also so desperately want to do right by our kids, not mess them up, or damage the parent-child relationship. Knowing what to do and how to do it during high stress moments can be challenging, particularly if you are an insecurely attached parent yourself. Get tips on how to weather the tantrums of your young kiddos, and implementing consequences in helpful and meaningful ways.⁠

Michael and Eden add on to the last episode about relationships as they enter a conversation on parenting. They discuss their differences, struggles and strengths as anxious and avoidant attached. Through relatable stories, Eden and Michael share about times of feeling disconnected from their kiddos (rupture), the struggle and importance of reconnecting (repair) and, in between, building a foundation of positive interactions.  

Eden dives into a more personal conversation with her husband, business partner and fellow therapist, Michael Hyder. Eden identifies as an Anxiously-Attached wife partnering with Michael, an avoidant-attached husband. Michael is a Licensed Professional Counselor, a licensed Supervisor and EMDR Certified Trauma Specialist who utilizes EMDR, Internal Family Systems and Polyvagal Theory in his work as a therapist and in life. Eden and Michael discuss their partnership, their relational patterns and how they have survived conflict and worked toward deeper intimacy in the relationship. Both Eden and Michael offer a honest picture of relationship and invite us all into the hard work of attaching deeply with others.   Michael's Therapy Practice https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/about-michael-hyder-inside-out-collaborative-dallas   More about Polyvagal Theory https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/resources/Beginner's%20Guide.pdf   Michael's Blog on EMDR & IFS (Internal Family Systems) https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/blog/anxious-part-exercise   Michael's Blog on Healing Trauma through EMDR https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/blog/resolving-trauma-a-different-approach-to-healing-with-emdr   More about IFS (Internal Family Systems) https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline   More about Parts Work in IFS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuJLv98ks-I  

After last week's episode focused on the parents, this week Eden looks at insecurely attached kids. She addresses how each style presents in a toddler, elementary-aged child, and teen. She also suggests ways that we, as parents, can support our kids with a more secure attachment.    For more on mental health, relationships, and parenting, follow me on Instagram at @edenhyder or sign up for the Inside Out Collaborative newsletter.

Eden jumps into the topic of parenting with a couple key notes: 1) that insecurely attached parents are at higher risk for parenting struggles which makes doing this attachment work yourself all the more impactful, and 2) that as parents, we don't have to be perfect — that our imperfect parenting can actually benefit our children. She then gives examples of what a parent with each attachment style (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized) looks like and tips on how to move toward security.    For more on mental health, relationships and parenting, follow me on instagram at @edenhyder or sign up for the Inside Out Collaborative newsletter.

As adults, we have the bad habit of shutting down a child's process, and our inner child is no exception. Eden takes us through the 3 dimensions of attuning to your inner and outer child. Attunement is how we create safety in relationship so we can create positive, secure connection. Awareness, empathy, and responsiveness allow us as parents (to our children and ourselves) to offer care in a way that nurtures a secure connection in relationships. For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough

Ever wonder where those negative thoughts and beliefs come from? Some of it may come from the quality of our attachment relationship. Eden shows us how attachment shapes those beliefs about ourselves and the world. Eden takes us backwards, from adulthood into childhood, to figure out what those beliefs are and how they functioned. She helps us to understand that As a child, those beliefs help make sense of pain and help with survival. But that, as an adult, the belief itself becomes the source and perpetuation of your pain. For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough

Eden walks us through 5 core attachment needs that we all have from birth: Safety, Security, Comfort, Relief and Validation. What is it to feel safe and secure in an attachment relationship? How does the need for validation from your attachment figure as an infant impact life as an adult?  For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough

Eden builds on the last episode by breaking down the four attachment styles: Secure, Ambivalent, Avoidant, and Disorganized. She gives us examples of what each looks like in infants and toddlers and how each style may lend to certain challenges. Eden shares about the attachment process with her 5 month old puppy and applies these styles to puppy training. For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough

Eden Hyder gives us a basic understanding of what attachment is, the role that safety plays in attachment, and how secure attachments vary from insecure attachments. She helps us to see how our attachment to a parent in childhood can impact our relationships and ourselves later on in life.    For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough

Join Eden Hyder for the first Season of Attached Enough, as she brings her experience as a therapist, boss, wife, daughter, mother, friend and talks openly about learning to understand and love yourself and communicating your needs as you work towards building meaningful relationships. Eden walks us through the basics of attachment and how attachment issues from the past, can force their way into the present and ensure an undesirable future. But working to understand our attachment styles and struggles, then frees us up to respond consciously, communicate effectively, and move into a future that is hopeful and fulfilling. 

Relationships can be the most painful and most fulfilling part of life. For any of you who have struggled with stubborn relational patterns, emotional reactivity, parenting your kids, growing intimate relationships, addiction, eating disorders, depression, anxiety —  this podcast is for you.   Join Eden Hyder for the first Season of Attached Enough, as she brings her experience as a therapist, boss, wife, daughter, mother, friend and talks openly about learning to understand and love yourself and communicating your needs as you work towards building meaningful relationships. Eden walks us through the basics of attachment and how attachment issues from the past, can force their way into the present and ensure an undesirable future. But working to understand our attachment styles and struggles, then frees us up to respond consciously, communicate effectively, and move into a future that is hopeful and fulfilling. Connect on Instagram @edenhyder Visit insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough