Podcasts about avoidant

He was obsessed with you. Texting every day, planning the future, making you feel chosen... and then suddenly? Cold. Distant. Gone.If you've ever asked yourself "what did I do wrong?" - you didn't. You triggered his avoidance.In this raw episode, I'm breaking down the real psychology behind avoidant men - not the TikTok version. We're talking about why high-achieving, powerful women specifically attract avoidant men, why your closeness feels like a threat to him, and why chasing him will only make him run further. This is not about fixing him. This is about getting your power back. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:Why he pulled away right when things were getting goodThe 5 hidden signs you're dealing with an avoidant man (not just a busy man)The Anxious-Avoidant trap that keeps powerful women stuckWhy your success and feminine energy can actually trigger his pull-backExactly what to do when he goes cold - to stay in your soft, high-value eraIf you've ever been left confused, anxious, and overthinking a man who pulled away, this episode is your closure. It's time to stop asking why he left and start understanding why you chased.Listen now, save it, and send this to a friend who needs to hear it.

In this episode, Dr. K sits down with Dr. Kirk Honda from Psychology in Seattle for a clinical deep dive into the complex world of personality disorders. Moving beyond surface-level symptoms, they break down the developmental trauma behind Avoidant and Schizoid Personality Disorders, share personal stories of childhood bullying, and explain what a true "corrective experience" in therapy actually looks like. What to expect in this episode: Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD): How childhood neglect combined with terrifying social experiences creates a deeply rooted "perceptual distortion" where an individual believes they are fundamentally defective and inherently rejectable. Social Anxiety vs. AvPD: Why the dividing line often comes down to insight—social anxiety sufferers usually know their fear is irrational when calm, while those with AvPD are completely convinced everyone can genuinely see their hidden "defect" or ridiculousness. The Schizoid Experience: Understanding why Schizoid Personality Disorder develops as a defense against severe neglect and intermittent, intense parental invasiveness (enmeshment), leading individuals to completely turn off their emotions to avoid being "invaded". Proto-Emotions: Why adults with Schizoid PD often feel emotionally numb, like "robots," or incorrectly assume they are sociopaths, and how their feelings are actually unevolved "proto-emotions" that were never safely mirrored during childhood. Staring into the Abyss: A look at the terrifying moment in depth therapy where a patient must confront their deepest fears of brokenness, and why taking a "leap of faith" with an attuned therapist is the key to creating neuroplastic change. The Healing Power of Attunement: A profoundly personal moment where Dr. Honda has a visceral, protective reaction to Dr. K's history of childhood bullying, perfectly demonstrating the exact real-time empathy and validation that trauma survivors need to heal. The "Reenactment" Trap: Why treating personality disorders requires intense "5D chess," as patients will unconsciously try to induce the therapist to recreate their childhood trauma, such as a Schizoid patient baiting the therapist to be invasive or a BPD patient inducing abandonment. Dr. K's NEW Guide to Love, Sex, & Relationships is here! Order now: https://bit.ly/4dO3x0VHG Coaching : https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3SztHG Memberships : https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services : https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of my subscribers finally received a text from her avoidant ex. Was it a breadcrumb? Did she respond?In this episode, I analyze her journey from heartbreak to healing, and break down what happened after reached out.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidant #avoidantex #getexback #exback #nocontact #getavoidantexback

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I present the full timeline to you, the avoidant goes through when you dump them. But I also present another timeline...► Links and Resources:Why They Lose Feelings Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s No Contact Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9xqR6zfBIk&t=13s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction02:21 Stage 0: Pre-Breakup Dynamics06:28 Stage 1: Initial Breakup Shock09:59 Stage 2: Denial and Anger12:27 Stage 3: Recovery and Reflection15:27 Stage 4: Loneliness and Regret18:03 Stage 5: The Crawl Back19:35 Moving Toward Security► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you what happens when YOU dump an avoidant first.► Links and Resources:Why Avoidants Lose Feelings Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:56 The Avoidant Mindset05:02 1. Unaware Avoidant Reaction09:18 2. The Mixed Reaction14:05 3. Shock and Fear17:15 Evaluating Potential18:17 Your Perspective22:23 Building Self-Worth► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! Today I talk about the avoidant's idea of a healthy relationship.► Links and Resources:Complex Trauma, Complex Needs Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx Why Avoidants Have No Clue What They Need and Feel: https://youtu.be/YoerBrHSdUI?si=8_lsOdJd_bPAM7e7 Overcompensation Through Missing Puzzle Piece Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kGDhim-YlY ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction03:11 The Role of Needs06:55 Core Affected Needs13:50 Expressing Emotional Needs19:20 Seeking Support and Acceptance29:10 The Need for Consistency33:30 Avoidant Identity, Values and Core Beliefs47:18 Practical Relationship Advice► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share 5 early signs of healing from my own therapy-journey with you.► Links and Resources:This Makes Avoidants Actually Stay Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=1s Catastrophic Dragon Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_lwt0bcXGA ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction02:26 Sign 1: Panic Is Gone06:55 Sign 2: Trusting the Future09:27 Sign 3: Questioning Inner Beliefs13:59 Sign 4: Sharing Vulnerable Needs17:32 Sign 5: Overcoming Defiance22:59 Conclusion► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

Here is a recording of impromptu live stream I recently did. No script, no agenda, just me and the chat. And as usual, the unscheduled ones end up being the best ones.This stream turned into a full clinic on the stuff I hear from men every single day: the guy who told his wife he desired her and got nothing back. The guy 10 years into a sexless marriage who swears he "shouldn't have to" bring it up. The guy engaged to a woman who already tells him "you sexualize everything." And the one that floors the average dude — 20 years, never married, sexless, and every time he tries to leave, her tears pull him right back in.We got into why nobody has the uncomfortable conversations early (when they'd actually save you), why "she trapped me with sex" is almost never what happened, what a decade of staying teaches your partner, breadcrumbing and why that little cookie every six months keeps you quiet, and the boss-who-can-never-fire-you problem that lives inside every one of these marriages.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I reveal the full timeline of how an avoidant or emotionally unavailable ex comes back.► Links and Resources:The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://youtu.be/NkVmvMkZUI4?si=M2H195oaNQWTkl9e ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction02:33 Stage 0: Why They Leave10:12 Stage 1: No Contact14:14 Stage 2: Reconnection17:18 Stage 3: Dating Again19:56 Stage 4: The Decision24:08 Building Self-Worth► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to respond when an avoidant comes back after rejection, after a breakup or after no contact.► Links and Resources:Why Avoidants Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umBMT2pBpY&t=10s► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Intro03:30 Why Avoidants Return11:54 Ask This One Question16:15 Breaking the Chasing Pattern26:34 Developing a Solid Self30:41 The Dragon Metaphor36:05 Setting Healthy Boundaries40:40 Conclusion and Resources► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: info@understandable.net► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

What does it mean when your avoidant ex reaches out after months of silence, asks to see you, and tells you they missed you?In this episode, I discuss whether it means they want to get back together or if something else is going on. Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidantex #avoidantattachment #getexback #avoidantcameback

Why do some people keep choosing dismissive avoidant partners, even after recognizing the same painful pattern?In this deeply personal episode of You're Probably Right, MCM examines why emotionally unavailable partners can feel so irresistible in the beginning. The constant communication, rapid self disclosure, intense attraction, thoughtful gestures, and feeling of being specially chosen can create a powerful connection before the emotional distance begins.This episode explores dismissive avoidant relationships, breadcrumbing, sexual validation, overgiving, childhood rejection, fear of abandonment, and the moment a person stops being themselves and starts trying to earn love.Are you attracted to avoidant partners, or are you attached to how they made you feel before they pulled away?

That thing that turns you on but you've never quite been able to explain? Or the relationship dynamic you keep recreating? Those aren't random. And they aren't fully explained by your attachment style.This is the introduction episode for a series on attachment wounds and erotic desires. Before we get into the specific wound patterns, I'm laying the foundation — what attachment styles actually are, where they fall short, and how to understand attachment patterns beyond the standard (avoidant, anxious, disorganized or secure) boxes. We'll talk about how our childhood experiences and specific attachment wounds tend to lead to specific turn-ons. Plus, why that's good news and will help you de-shame your desires. In this episode:Why attachment styles are learned habits, not personality traits or life sentencesHow your attachment response shifts depending on who you're with, how they communicate, and the specific felt safety of that relationshipWhy the anxious/avoidant label doesn't capture the full picture — and what the deeper wounds underneath those patterns actually areA preview of the five developmental wounds this series explores: safety, dependency, trust, autonomy, and worthThe core skills that underlie secure attachment — and why they're learnable, not fixed traits reserved for people who had easier childhoodsHow early unmet needs shape not just your relational patterns but your specific erotic desires — and why that connection makes complete sense once you see itCompanion resource for this series: Dr. R. Chris Fraley's attachment quiz at yourpersonality.net/relstructures/ — the most useful tool I've found for understanding your patterns in the context of specific relationships, not just in the abstractThe Wheel of Erotic Emotions — a visual map of common erotic emotions organized by category → laurajurgens.com/wheelTopics: attachment styles and desire, anxious avoidant attachment, attachment wounds, childhood wounds and relationships, secure attachment skills, erotic desires, intimacy coach, somatic intimacy coach, feminist sex coach, attachment theory explained, attachment styles and sex life, desire and intimacy, how to become securely attached Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited. 

Are you accidentally helping your avoidant ex move on? In this episode, I analyze a real viewer's heartbreaking story and show exactly how breaking No Contact at the wrong time changed the outcome of her relationship.Her avoidant ex admitted he always runs from relationships. He regretted the breakup, questioned his decision, and even begged her not to leave. But when she reached out and started making him feel emotionally safe again, everything changed.If you're in No Contact with an avoidant ex, this video will help you recognize the subtle mistakes that can unintentionally make it easier for them to move on - and what to do instead.Get ⁠coaching!⁠Download Silenzio App: ⁠ iPhone ⁠OR ⁠Android⁠Read No Contact Secrets ⁠Book⁠⁠Instagram⁠#avoidantattachment #avoidantex #nocontact #getexback

Avoidance looks like not wanting people. It's almost always the opposite: wanting connection so badly that being seen feels like the biggest risk of all. In this episode, Dr. Greg explores avoidant personality patterns through the lens of Catholic anthropology—where the quiet tug-of-war between longing to be known and fearing rejection comes from, and how the difference between what happens in us and what we choose opens a path toward freedom. Key Topics: Why "I just need my space" can be a wall dressed up as a boundary How a childhood full of real love—not neglect—can still teach you that being seen means being blamed Why avoidant personality isn't the same as avoidant attachment, even though they share a name What the text you rewrite four times before sending is actually protecting you from Why even your anger can be an imitation of Christ, not something to hide How the difference between what "happens" in you and what you choose to do can pull you out of hiding Learn More: Previous episode on attachment theory: Ep. #63: Attachment Theory: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How It Affects Your Relationships Previous episodes on parts work (IFS): Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/ a Catholic Lens Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski Person and Act: St. John Paul II's (Karol Wojtyła's) philosophical work on the acting person, referenced in this episode Start of the Being Human series on the Antisocial Defense Patterns: Ep. #281: Control or Be Controlled: The Devastating Wounds Behind Antisocial Behavioral Patterns Start of the Being Human series on the Histrionic Defense Patterns: Ep. #274: To Be Loved Is to Perform: Inside the Histrionic Compulsion for Attention and Validation Start of the Being Human series on the Borderline Defense Patterns: Ep. #269: BORDERLINE: The Push-Pull Between a Fear of Abandonment and Annihilation Start of the Being Human series on the Dependent Defense Patterns: Ep. #265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing Start of the Being Human series on the Narcissistic Defense Patterns: Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary Got a Question for Dr. Greg? Have a topic suggestion? Want to share your thoughts? Email us at beinghuman@catholicpsych.com—we'd love to hear from you! Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment Follow Us on Socials: Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter (X) | LinkedIn

Money is in the top three reasons for divorce in America. But most couples fighting about money are not actually fighting about money. They are fighting about safety, worth, and trust. Adam Lane Smith sits down with Rachel Cruze, financial expert and bestselling author, to break down why money fights are almost never about money, what your attachment style is doing to your finances, and how to finally get on the same page with your partner before the fight becomes a crisis. What you will learn in this video: 1- Why avoidant people hoard money and anxious people overspend and why both come from the same wound  2- Why joint accounts get more hate on social media than any other financial advice and what that reaction actually reveals  3- Why the prenup conversation is not about divorce but about whether you are building a team  4- Why four generations of women were told men cannot be trusted and how that is running marriages today  5- Why money fights are marriage problems in disguise  6- Why the man who earns more and still feels worthless is an attachment problem not a financial one  7- Why working together to pay off debt improves marriages even when nobody taught a marriage class  8- What to do when one partner is a saver and one is a spender and neither can understand the other  9- Why 49 percent of Gen Z women say having children is no longer important and what is underneath that number If money has been a source of fighting, hiding, or distance in your relationship, the problem probably started long before the bank account did.

Avoidant attachment is not coldness, and it is not emotional unavailability, it is emotional unprotection. If you keep pushing away the people you most want to keep, this video shows you why it happens and the concrete steps to start healing it.Relationship and childhood trauma recovery specialist Kenny Weiss breaks down avoidant attachment as a survival pattern built in childhood, not a personality flaw. You will learn why you go cold when closeness gets real, why you can feel emotionally unavailable to the one person who matters most, and what a love avoidant, codependent person actually needs to do to heal. It speaks to the shutdown or avoidant partner, and to the over giver exhausted from loving one.Kenny teaches that the love avoidant is the falsely empowered end of the codependence spectrum, so the way out is not more independence but interdependence. He walks through the five core symptoms of codependence first named by Pia Mellody and gives one concrete healing step for each. He ties the pattern to the Worst Day Cycle™, the unconscious loop of trauma, fear, shame, and denial that keeps the avoidant stuck.Avoidant attachment is not emotional unavailability, it is emotional unprotection, a survival persona built when childhood closeness meant engulfment. The love avoidant learned that being close meant being consumed, so the adult nervous system reads intimacy as danger and withdraws to survive.Healing avoidant attachment is not about becoming more independent, because independence is the avoidant's defense. It is about building interdependence, two whole people who choose to share a life by mutual agreement.Kenny Weiss is a relationship, communication, and childhood trauma recovery specialist and the creator of the Worst Day Cycle™, the Authentic Self Cycle™, and the Emotional Authenticity Method™. He is the author of Your Journey to Success and Your Journey to Being Yourself.More from Kenny: The Two Codependent Personality Types, and Codependent vs Narcissist, 3 Critical Differences.TOPICS COVERED: avoidant attachment, emotionally unavailable, emotional detachment, why do I push people away, love avoidant, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant, how to heal avoidant attachment, codependency recovery, five core symptoms of codependence, falsely empowered codependent, enmeshment, interdependence, boundaries vs walls, attachment styles, Kenny Weiss, Worst Day Cycle0:00 — Avoidant Attachment Is Emotional Unprotection1:10 — Why You Pull Away From the People You Want2:30 — How Smothering Parents Create a Love Avoidant4:15 — Your Independence Is Codependence in Disguise5:30 — Step One, Rebuild Worth From the Inside7:00 — Step Two, Build a Gate, Not a Wall8:30 — Step Three, Say the One True Thing10:00 — Step Four, Let Someone Meet a Need11:30 — Step Five, Practice Being, Not Doing13:00 — If You Love an Avoidant, Where to Start

Have you convinced yourself that you'll never get your avoidant ex back? In this episode, I explain why silence doesn't always mean it's over, how people with avoidant attachment process breakups differently, and why your ex's breakup words aren't always their final words.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidantattachment #avoidantex #nocontact #getexback #getavoidantexback

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Just because an avoidant ex hasn't reached out, doesn't mean they don't care or that they've moved on. Sometimes, they're waiting for you to reach out.In this episode, I share 5 signs your avoidant ex may be hoping you'll make the first move, even if they haven't contacted you. You'll also learn how avoidants often signal interest indirectly.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidantattachment #getexback #exback #nocontact #nocontactrule #avoidantex

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we are exploring eroticising power in the bedroom. Listen in as Laurie and George discuss how different attachment styles may crave to be more submissive or more dominant during sex. We discuss that both roles may be freeing, relieving of responsibility and just sinking into pleasure. Avoidant partners may feel more close, connecting with vulnerability and more anxiously attached partners may feel reassured, certain and taken care of. This is not your average vanilla episode as we step into how to share these fantasies safely with your lover. Listeners will walk away with more understanding of underlying themes of power and control and safe and secure ways to communicate themes of submission and dominance. Remember to grab a copy of our book, Brave Love, Great Sex available for pre-order now. Pre-order Sale! Buy a copy of Brave Love, Great Sex from Barnes and Noble and receive 10% off! Between now and June 26th! Barnes and Noble Premium members get an additional 10% off! Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): Uberlube -- Laurie's long-time most recommended personal lubricant. Use the code BraveLove at checkout to get your discount! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Your Man Shuts Down When You Try to Talk & What to Do Instead | FT: DR. Chris DavidCONNECT WITH CHARLENE On Instagram @mscharlenebyars ([https://www.instagram.com/mscharlenebyars] On YouTube @chosentraining ([https://www.youtube.com/@lovestorieswithcharlenebyars]Work with me HERE ([https://charlenebyars.com/](https://charlenebyars.com/)) CONNECT WITH CHRIS DAVID On Instagram @evolvedbychris (https://www.instagram.com/evolvedbychris?igsh=dmpya2pwNmNqeTdp) Work With Me Here: https://linktr.ee/evolvedbychris?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQPOTM2NjE5NzQzMzkyNDU5AAGnjXAnZgX9oxHKwhMERoqK6npC7-Q0YGS0suMCBsKXtusB1v_-ak8TlVB9VD4_aem_k254pW6ZWslcuWxdOfOkzg Relationship and attachment coach Chris joins the Love Stories podcast for one of the most eye-opening conversations yet. After a tumultuous 14-year marriage, a painful divorce, and years of studying human behavior, Chris built a practice helping people understand why their relationships keep failing, and what to actually do about it. In this episode, he breaks down the real difference between an avoidant man and a man who's just not that into you, why communication alone won't save your relationship, how men and women bond completely differently, the 70-30 rule for emotionally charged conversations, why you should give your man a problem to solve instead of making him the problem, and how attachment styles are fully correctable. We Cover in this whole Episode: 0:00 — Intro & teaser clips 1:30 — Host welcomes Chris; his mission explained 3:00 — How Chris got into relationship coaching 5:00 — Marrying young at 26: chemistry mistaken for love 8:00 — Mr. Nice Guy syndrome: never saying no 12:00 — Shame wounds in men and what drives people-pleasing 16:00 — Childhood, Catholic upbringing & performative love 20:00 — Why traditional marriage counseling often fails 24:00 — The affairs, the explosion, and staying another 10 years 28:00 — Post-divorce: 5 years of dating around the world 33:00 — Meeting his current partner: friendship first 37:00 — What was different this time: mindset shift 41:00 — Avoidant vs. just not that into you — the key difference 45:00 — Dismissive avoidant explained: the "perfect family" facade 49:00 — The four types of memory & emotional unavailability 53:00 — Attachment is fully correctable — here's how 57:00 — How men and women bond differently: oxytocin vs. vasopressin 1:01:00 — How to let a woman express herself without shutting down 1:05:00 — Give him a problem to solve, not make him the problem 1:10:00 — The 70-30 rule for difficult conversations 1:14:00 — Vasopressin, acts of service & why men need to feel needed 1:18:00 — The 3 A's: attention, affection, affirmations 1:21:00 — How to work with Chris / closing resources 1:24:00 — Final message: only one reason a relationship truly can't work 1:26:00 — Outro & subscribe call to action If you've ever felt unheard, disconnected, or stuck in the same relationship patterns, this episode will change the way you see yourself and your partner.

The quote 'you either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain' springs to mind when I think of my dating life at the moment. Past experiences have formed my current actions while dating and attaching terms like 'avoidant' don't do much other than give it a label. So how can I evolve and become the version of myself that believes in love? Thank you for being here.Enjoy ☆

Sometimes bosses are afraid of conflict. They just don’t know how to handle disagreements between employees. In this episode of My Crazy Office, Kathi and Katherine discuss an interesting phenomenon: What do you do when a manager who avoids dealing with employee conflict causes more conflicts to erupt? They start with a question from someone whose boss keeps insisting that the staff resolve their interpersonal disagreements, while the employees believe they need the boss to help them work them out. Does your boss avoid conflict? Listen here.

Saul, the Avoidant Anointed - 1 Samuel 101. God gives us a calling. (Vs. 1-8)2. God confirms our calling. (Vs. 9-13)3. We avoid and hide from our calling. (Vs. 14-27)

In this episode, we talk about ways to approach a partner with an avoidant attachment style to foster understand and emotional safety. Check us out on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Coach Craig Kenneth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Craig's help personally: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.askcraig.net/take-action/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Victoria's help: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.askcraig.net/victoria⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Craig's workbook series: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Started on the Creative Healing Course: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://courses.askcraig.net/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

In this powerful episode, Lacy Phillips explores the connection between attachment styles, manifestation, and relationships. She shares how anxious patterns are often rooted in childhood conditioning—and why healing begins by returning to a grounded, secure sense of self. Through conversations about shadow work, communication, and emotional triggers, Lacy breaks down the subconscious dynamics that shape how we love and connect. This episode is a strong reminder that relationships can serve as a mirror, revealing what's ready to heal. Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top-rated podcast. With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Microdose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought-provoking conversations…all in digestible 10-minute episodes.  Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday. If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode on Spotify ⁠here⁠ and on Apple ⁠here⁠.  Sponsors: AirDoctor | Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code MICRODOSE to get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers, including the 3500, 4000, and 5500 models.

Your ex starts watching your stories, liking your posts or quietly orbiting your social media. Does it mean they miss you and want to come back?In this episode, I break down a real-life case study and explain why reacting to your ex's breadcrumbs can be one of the biggest mistakes you make after a breakup.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#getexback #exback #nocontact #nocontactrule #avoidant #avoidantattachment

In this episode, I share the lessons I've learned from dating both avoidant and anxious partners, how each relationship highlighted different areas for growth, and why the goal isn't hyper-independence or over-dependence—but healthy interdependence.If you enjoyed this episode and are ready to start creating healthier patterns in your love life, check out my Secure Self Toolkit, filled with attachment rewiring meditations, communication scripts, a trigger guide, and practical tools to help you become your most secure self.Looking for personalized support? You can also book a Free Clarity Call to learn more about working with me one-on-one.Get the Secure Self ToolkitLearn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica

Do you feel disconnected from your wife, even though you genuinely want to be close to her?For many men in pornography addiction recovery, one of the most painful parts of the journey is not only stopping porn. It is learning how to rebuild trust, emotional safety, and real connection in marriage. You may want to listen, love, repair, and show up well, but still feel like your wife does not trust you, does not see your efforts, or does not believe your intentions. You may try to explain yourself and end up sounding defensive. You may try to help and end up trying to fix her emotions. You may try to be honest and still feel like there is a wall between you.In this episode of No More Desire, I sit down with Tyler Patrick of Therapy Brothers to talk about the real reason many men feel disconnected from their wives, how avoidant men often marry anxious women, and how this anxious-avoidant marriage cycle can quietly destroy trust, intimacy, and emotional connection.Tyler is a marriage and family therapist, certified DBT skills trainer, and has specialized training in treating sexual addiction. He also shares from his own personal recovery story, including the pain of betrayal, secrecy, shame, and the process of becoming a more grounded, honest, emotionally present husband.We talk about why porn addiction and marriage problems are so deeply connected. Porn does not only damage sexual integrity. It damages emotional safety. When a man hides pornography use, lies, minimizes, or keeps secrets, his wife often begins to question everything: “Can I trust him? Is he who I thought he was? What else do I not know?” That rupture of safety is one of the deepest wounds in betrayal trauma.We also discuss why many men shut down, withdraw, get defensive, or disappear into work, screens, or isolation when their wife is upset. Often, this is not because they do not care. It is because shame, fear, and emotional overwhelm take over. The man feels like he is failing, so he protects himself instead of staying present.Tyler explains the anxious-avoidant relationship cycle in a clear and practical way. The anxious partner often moves closer, asks more questions, seeks reassurance, and tries to regain safety. The avoidant partner often pulls away, shuts down, or feels criticized. The more she pursues, the more he withdraws. The more he withdraws, the more unsafe she feels. This cycle can become exhausting for both people.But there is hope.In this conversation, we discuss practical tools for men who want to overcome pornography addiction and become trustworthy again. We talk about emotional regulation, shame resiliency, mindfulness, self-compassion, parts work, taking healthy timeouts without abandoning your wife, and learning how to respond with presence instead of defensiveness.We also talk about why cravings are often emotional signals. A porn craving is not always just about sexual desire. Sometimes it is connected to stress, shame, fear, disconnection, or even the vulnerability of feeling close to your wife. When a man learns to understand what the craving is trying to medicate, he can begin responding with wisdom instead of panic.This episode is for the man who wants to stop hiding. It is for the husband who wants to rebuild trust after porn addiction. It is for the man who wants to become emotionally present with his wife, stop shutting down during hard conversations, and create a recovery lifestyle rooted in truth, love, and masculine self-leadership.Porn addiction trains a man to escape. Recovery trains a man to stay.Stay truthful. Stay grounded. Stay present. Stay in the work.Check out more from Tyler Patrick and the Therapy Brothers at therapybrothers.org/no-more-desire, where you'll find additional resources created specifically for No More Desire listeners.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeVisit No More Desire Tools for Recovery for recovery tools and training, including my free eBook, Workshop, The RAIL Method ™ and more to help you break free from porn.If you're tired of trying to quit porn on your own, the No More Desire Academy gives you a structured path to recovery through coaching, brotherhood, practical tools, and step-by-step training. Learn more about the Academy.If you want deeper, more personalized support, I also offer 1-on-1 porn addiction recovery coaching. We'll work directly on your patterns, emotional triggers, recovery plan, and long-term growth. Apply here to explore coaching with Jake Kastleman.Support the showNo More Desire

When he was young, it seemed like my son Cooper was almost always active and agitated. I tried everything I was told to try - bubble blowing for deep breathing, emotion naming, zones of regulation, nature walks with candy as incentives - but nothing worked. Maybe the activity would occupy him once, but then he'd be agitated all over again afterwards. I thought I must be going it wrong, or just a bad mom.What I know now is that I wasn't and I'm not - and neither are you. The logic underneath those approaches just does not match how a pathologically demand avoidant nervous system actually works.In this episode I discuss the 4-S Framework I developed to help my PDA son - and the children of the many families I was working with - stay regulated. The four S's are: safe nervous system, sensory intense experience with novelty and dopamine, screens, and special interests. I talk through what each one means for a PDA brain specifically, why children in burnout can often only access some of the four, and how to use this framework to structure unstructured time so it feels less like chaos and more like a plan.Key Takeaways Why the Approaches I Was Given Kept Making Things Worse | 00:02:06 I walk through the regulation strategies I tried with Cooper before I understood PDA: sensory integration activities like bubble blowing and glitter shaker bottles, naming emotions and using the zones of regulation stoplight, and nature walks I would incentivize with sweets. Each one followed the same pattern: novelty made the first attempt work, and the second produced refusal, avoidance, or escalating behavior. But then I had an "aha" moment and made a shift that changed everything. S1: What Actually Makes a Nervous System Safe for a PDA Brain | 00:21:43 A safe nervous system for a pathologically demand avoidant child is not simply a kind or emotionally attuned person. In my work with thousands of families, I have seen loving, competent, well-trained adults be deeply unsafe nervous systems for PDA children, not because they are unkind but because they arrive with an agenda. They want to teach, engage, improve, or modify. The safest nervous system is the one that is not trying to change the child at all. I use the example of a grandma who arrives with activities and baking plans versus a grandpa who sits on the couch reading his phone with zero agenda. The PDA child will reliably gravitate toward grandpa. This is also why you may notice your child feels safer with your partner on certain days, or with a teenage neighbor who just wants to jump on the trampoline without any goal. The lower the agenda, the safer the nervous system. S2: Sensory Intense Experience, Novelty, Dopamine, and the Modern Day Alchemist | 00:26:48 The second S covers three overlapping things: physical sensory intensity like roughhousing; novelty, which is why the first time at an ice skating rink produces full regulation and the second visit produces a meltdown; and dopamine, which can show up as a fixation on sugar, screens, or the drive to transform things from one material state to another. I call this last pattern the modern day alchemist, and I see it consistently across PDA children and adults I work with. S3: Screens, Books, Podcasts, and Journaling as Regulation Tools | 00:40:02 I view screens neutrally, and I want to be clear that this S is not only about screens. For PDA children and teens who are older, or for PDA adults who grew up before constant access to devices, this S may have looked like always having a book in hand, listening to podcasts, or journaling compulsively. What all of these have in common is that they provide autonomy, allow engagement with special interests and learning without an agenda, and offer relief from the intense sensory input that comes both from the outside world and from inside a nervous system that is chronically activated. For Cooper during burnout, screens were one of only two things that kept him regulated enough to eat and exist. Now that his activation has come down, he tracks his own screen time and averages around two hours a day, half the national average for American children. That shift was not something I imposed. It happened naturally as his window of tolerance expanded. I share this because I know how much shame parents carry around screen time, and I want to offer a different frame: screens in the right season can be what keeps your child accessible to life. S4: Special Interest and How to Use the Full Framework in Practice | 00:43:45 Special interest for a PDA brain involves what researchers call monotropic focus: sustained attention toward an interest that is deeply regulating, and dysregulation when pulled away from it. For Cooper right now the three special interests are football, fishing, and friends. When I need to help him out of the "I'm bored" loop, I use the framework to identify which S's are available and stack them. In the episode I also name what this looks like in burnout: during the hardest years, Cooper could only access safe nervous system and screens. The other S's returned as his activation came down, and I want parents to hold that as evidence that things can shift.Relevant Resources Understanding PDA — Free class where I teach the nervous system disability framework and the threat perception mechanism that explains why standard regulation approaches tend to backfire for PDA childrenBurnout — Free class with context for the burnout period I describe in this episode, when only two of the four S's are typically accessibleSchool, Screens and Siblings — Free class directly relevant to the screens S and how I think about screen time as a neutral tool within the Four S Framework Monotropism: Understanding Autistic Ways of Being — Background reading on the monotropic focus I describe in the S4 section and how it shapes regulation and learning in autistic and PDA brainsMonotropic Split and Burnout — Explains what happens when monotropic focus is repeatedly fractured, directly relevant to why pulling a PDA child away from a special interest contributes to cumulative activation and burnoutMe and Monotropism: A Unified Theory of Autism — Deeper academic context for the monotropism framework I reference when explaining the fourth S

Attachment is a survival imprint that lives in the body, encoded before you had language. In this episode, Dr. Aimie Apigian walks through the 6 hidden attachment pains, the adult symptoms each one creates, and why inner work alone cannot reach where the pattern lives. ➡️ Full show notes: https://www.biologyoftrauma.com/post/episode-177-6-attachment-wounds-chronic-symptoms In This Episode You'll Learn:  02:54 — How did Dr. Aimie's adopted son become her wake-up call to attachment biology? 10:12 — How does attachment loss connect to chronic fatigue and autoimmunity? 12:27 — Why doesn't awareness or inner work change attachment patterns? 15:24 — What is autoimmunity at the level of attachment biology? 25:06 — What is Hold Me attachment pain and how does it form? 31:36 — How does Hold Me pain become IBS, autoimmunity, and fibromyalgia? 40:11 — What is Support Me attachment pain and how does it shape the brainstem? 46:58 — What is See Me attachment pain and how does it shape self-worth? 47:47 — What is Understand Me attachment pain and which chronic conditions does it create? 50:20 — What is Love Me attachment pain and how does it shape adult relationships? Resources/Guides: Attachment Pain Guide — A complete map of all 6 attachment pains, the adult symptoms linked to each, and entry points for repair.  ➡️ Full show notes with links and resources: https://www.biologyoftrauma.com/post/episode-177-6-attachment-wounds-chronic-symptoms

Ever swing between anxious and avoidant with the same person, reaching for them one minute and running the next? That's not you being broken or "too much." In week three of the Breakups by Attachment Style series, Sabrina breaks down disorganized attachment (also called fearful avoidant attachment): the push-pull, hot-and-cold, on-again-off-again pattern that makes you feel like you're losing your mind. Learn what's actually happening in your nervous system, why your relationships keep taking this shape, and why no attachment style ever excuses how someone treats you. Inside: the research on fearful avoidant attachment in adulthood, a real story of dating someone disorganized, and what the path to earned security actually looks like (slower than 90 days, and worth every bit of it). Plus the Tool of the Week, a simple somatic state check-in to start tracking your nervous system today. If you've never fit neatly into anxious or avoidant, this one on attachment theory, nervous system regulation, and breaking the cycle is for you, baby. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠ If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠  Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠  Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠  Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! Aura has a great deal for Father's Day, an exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/SABRINA. Promo Code SABRINA Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com by using code SABRINA at checkout. Experience the world's #1 blanket with Lola Blankets This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina Right now, Rythm is offering our listeners 15% off your first month and free shipping at RythmHealth.com/SABRINA ============================= Chapters: 00:00 Anxious and Avoidant at the Same Time 03:48 What Disorganized Attachment Is 06:36 Why You Can't Predict the Pattern 09:43 On Again Off Again Relationships 13:35 Hot and Cold Relationship Story 18:00 Why You Keep Going Back 21:00 How the Push Pull Cycle Works 25:03 What Causes Disorganized Attachment 28:55 How to Heal Fearful Avoidant 31:26 Somatic Practice to Self Regulate Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's crushing when your avoidant partner disappears. But why are they doing it...and what can you do. On of the most disruptive things happening in avoidant- anxious relationships is when the avoidant partner suddenly disappears without an explanation. We want to understand their motives, explain how this hurts us, try harder but perhaps if we understand why they tend to do this we can rest at ease - or make some hard decisions that will benefit us. This podcast is meant to guide you if you're going through this or if you've gone through this. For my book - From Anxious to Secure - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/from-anxious-to-secureFor my mini online program - Boundary Bootcamp - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/boundary-bootcampTo book a session with me - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/book-a-session-with-me-ui52g6pvTo Subscribe to School of Attachment - https://stan.store/DecodingAttachmentStyles/p/weekly-coaching-tools--strategiesDisclaimer: I am a certified coach with a psychology background, not a licensed therapist. The content I share is for educational and informational purposes and is based on Attachment Theory principles. I am currently funding and researching a personal project on attachment behaviors and feelings with 175 individuals. This page is not a substitute for professional therapy, diagnosis, or treatment. Please use discernment and consult a qualified mental health professional for personal advice.I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show

Are you giving someone all the benefits of a relationship while they still refuse to commit?In this episode, I explain why overgiving to an avoidant or emotionally unavailable person can keep you stuck in a situationship instead of moving toward a real relationship.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#situationship #avoidant #avoidantattachment #situationships

What you resist really does persist… and the anxiety-avoidance cycle can keep you trapped in a small life for years. If you avoid social situations, difficult conversations, travel, dating, decision-making, presentations, or anything that makes you anxious, this episode is for you. Avoidance is one of the most common coping mechanisms people use for anxiety… but it's also one of the biggest reasons anxiety continues to grow. And the problem with avoidance is you can't stop thinking about something that you're trying to avoid. In today's episode, we're unpacking the psychology of avoidance and how it ultimately reinforces fear, shrinks your comfort zone, and keeps you stuck. Tune in if you want to learn how to face your fears, build confidence in your ability to deal with stress, and live a more expansive life. We cover: Why avoidance is one of the most common coping strategies The anxiety-avoidance cycle and how it feeds anxiety Why avoiding difficult conversations creates more stress than just having them Internal avoidance: avoiding thoughts, uncertainty, decisions, and emotions How avoidance can shrink your world and limit your opportunities How Metacognitive Therapy approaches anxiety and avoidance Building tolerance for uncertainty and discomfort Using gradual exposure: the "fear ladder" Prompts to change how you think about your anxiety The Fear List exercise that helped me get unstuck If you've been feeling trapped by anxiety, fear, and avoidance, this episode is your reminder that discomfort is not dangerous… and life usually expands on the other side of the things we're afraid of.   For advertising and sponsorship inquiries, please contact Frequency Podcast Network. Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

What can a steamy hockey romance teach us about attachment styles, situationships, and emotional vulnerability? This week, Matchmaker Maria is joined by her sister and fellow matchmaker, Chrisoula Mavrianos, to break down the hit series Heated Rivalry through the lens of dating psychology. They unpack why Shane and Ilya's 7 year push-pull dynamic feels so familiar, explore fearful avoidant vs. dismissive avoidant attachment styles, and compare the show's emotional tension to Normal People, Bridgerton, and classic Jane Austen romances. Plus, they dive into the art of yearning, why women LOVE slow-burn love stories, and reveal which character they'd actually choose for a healthy relationship.   ♥️JOIN MARIA'S COMMUNITY + SUBMIT A QUESTION ❓ Ready to date with intention?

I sit down with Dr. Jennifer Huffman, a board-certified pediatric neuropsychologist, PDA woman with lived experience, and creator of the Neurodynamic Navigator System and the Neurodynamic Quotient. After twenty-five years working with children whose profiles were called often called ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), she developed a framework to make the dynamic, fluctuating nature of the PDA brain visible and usable for parents, teachers, and clinicians.We talk about her childhood as an undiagnosed PDA autistic person, why ODD as a diagnosis isn't helpful, how she assesses children who cannot come into an office, and the app she is building to help families. After all that great insight, just her closing message for parents of PDA kids in burnout makes this episode worth a listen.Key TakeawaysGrowing Up as an Undiagnosed PDA Autistic Neuropsychologist | 00:02:48 Dr. Huffman describes a childhood marked by academic failure in math from third grade, severe bullying that led her parents to drive her thirty minutes each way to attend school in a different town, and the recurring experience of being told she was not living up to her potential. She names the specific mechanism she now recognizes in herself: she cannot process on demand. If someone tells her to do something, or if it feels redundant, her brain shuts off. This is not willfulness. It is the same mechanism she has spent twenty-five years helping children and families understand. She describes finding neuropsychology in her third year of undergraduate study as a light bulb moment, not because she wanted a career but because she was trying to figure out her own brain.The ODD Buster: Why Oppositional Defiant Disorder Is So Often the Wrong Label | 00:12:39 Dr. Huffman describes spending twenty-five years working with the complex cases other clinicians could not crack, children who had been given ODD diagnoses and whom nobody wanted to work with. She calls herself the ODD buster and states directly that in her clinical experience, she has rarely seen a child who actually had ODD. What she consistently found underneath that label was high empathy, anxiety, sensory differences, social communication differences, and learning differences, often in combination. She names ODD as an example of a DSM category built by non-neurodivergent clinicians describing externalized behavior without curiosity about what is underneath it.How She Assesses Children Who Cannot Come Into an Office | 00:17:38 Dr. Huffman explains that when a child is in burnout and cannot access evaluation, the work does not begin with the child. It begins with the parent: helping them advocate with the school, coordinating with medical providers who may not understand why the child cannot leave the house, and slowly building a relationship with the child themselves. She describes spending six months to a year playing Minecraft with a child before any formal assessment data is collected, and names this as genuinely valuable clinical time. She also holds PSYPACT certification, which allows her to work with families across most of the United States without the family ever entering her office.The Neurodynamic Quotient: Making the Dynamic Nature of the PDA Brain Visible | 00:36:57 Dr. Huffman introduces the Neurodynamic Quotient, her framework for understanding why PDA children can do something one day and appear to lose the skill the next. The formula combines dynamic safety, which includes felt safety, connection, information, and autonomy, with dynamic capacity, which includes the battery, sensory load, and executive functioning scaffolding, plus motivation. She explains why autonomy functions as a multiplier: if it reaches zero, the entire product is zero regardless of how much skill or capability is present. She also names motivation as the variable parents and teachers most often misuse, pushing past natural capacity because the child demonstrated what they were capable of once.Do Not Get in Front of Your Child | 00:55:03 Dr. Huffman closes with a message for parents whose children are in burnout. She names never assuming the child is not capable as the most important thing a parent can hold onto, and shares her own story as evidence: her parents could not have predicted she would become a neuropsychologist. She uses the phrase "do not get in front of your child" to mean: if they have something they want to do, let them fly. The child who is in their room with the lights off on Minecraft is telling you what they need. Meeting that need and staying regulated yourself is what moves them through burnout faster than fighting against it.Relevant ResourcesUnderstanding PDA — Free class with context on the nervous system disability framework and the dynamic, cumulative nature of activation Dr. Huffman builds on throughout this conversationBurnout — Free class with context for the red zone experience Dr. Huffman describes and the burnout recovery process for both children and parentsParadigm Shift Program — Our signature program where parenting for autonomy, safety, and connection is taught in fullUnlocking the PDA Brain by Dr. Jennifer Huffman — Dr. Huffman's book introducing the Neurodynamic Navigator System, written as a manual for understanding and supporting the PDA brainThe Able Center — Dr. Huffman's private neuropsychology practice in IllinoisThe Baby Fold — The Illinois nonprofit where Dr. Huffman serves as Vice President of Clinical Operations, specializing in trauma and higher support needs neurodivergent childrenBeyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke — Mentioned by Dr. Huffman for understanding what is happening beneath the behavior in neurodivergent childrenDr. Huffman is also a board member of PDA North America.

Join this channel to get access to exclusive members only videos:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTAVxA4dNBCoPdHhX9nnoQ/joinJoin Members Only On My Website. 7 day free trial. Save 25% when you choose an annual Membership plan. Cancel anytime:https://understandingrelationships.com/plansJoin Members Only on Spotify:https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/coachcoreywayne/subscribeHow to know if she's a classic avoidant or if you chased her away.In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who had trouble maintaining attraction with a successful woman who owns an architectural firm. He has a small business that's a year old. She told him they could be friends with benefits until he became more successful like her. She just broke things off and he wonders if she is an avoidant or he turned her off and chased her away.If you have not read my book, “How To Be A 3% Man” yet, that would be a good starting place for you. It is available in Kindle, iBook, Paperback, Hardcover or Audio Book format. If you don't have a Kindle device, you can download a free eReader app from Amazon so you can read my book on any laptop, desktop, smartphone or tablet device. Kindle $9.99, iBook $9.99, Paperback $29.99 or Hardcover 49.99. Audio Book is Free $0.00 with an Audible membership trial or buy it for $19.95. Here is the link to Audible to get the audiobook version:https://www.audible.com/pd/B01EIA86VC/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-057626&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_057626_rh_usHere is the link to Amazon to purchase Kindle, Paperback or Hardcover version:http://amzn.to/1XKRtxdHere is the link to the iBookstore to purchase iBook version:https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/how-to-be-3-man-winning-heart/id948035350?mt=11&uo=6&at=1l3vuUoHere is the link to the iTunes store to purchase the iTunes audio book version:https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/audiobook/how-to-be-a-3-man-unabridged/id1106013146?at=1l3vuUo&mt=3You can get my second book, “Mastering Yourself, How To Align Your Life With Your True Calling & Reach Your Full Potential” which is also available in Kindle $9,99, iBook $9.99, Paperback $49.99, Hardcover $99.99 and Audio Book format $24.95. Audio Book is Free $0.00 with an Audible membership trial. Here is the link to Audible to get the audiobook version:https://www.audible.com/pd/B07B3LCDKK/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-109399&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_109399_rh_usHere is the link to Amazon to purchase Kindle, Paperback or Hardcover version:https://amzn.to/2TQV2XoHere is the link to the iBookstore to purchase iBook version:https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/mastering-yourself-how-to-align-your-life-your-true/id1353139487?mt=11&at=1l3vuUoHere is the link to the iTunes store to purchase the iTunes audio book version:https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/audiobook/mastering-yourself-how-to-align-your-life-your-true/id1353594955?mt=3&at=1l3vuUoYou can get my third book, “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations” which is also available in Kindle $9,99, iBook $9.99, Paperback $49.99, Hardcover $99.99 and Audio Book format $24.95. Audio Book is Free $0.00 with an Audible membership trial. Here is the link to Audible to get the audiobook version:https://www.audible.com/pd/B0941XDDCJ/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-256995&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_256995_rh_usHere is the link to Amazon to purchase Kindle, Paperback or Hardcover version:https://amzn.to/33K8VwFHere is the link to the iBookstore to purchase iBook version:https://books.apple.com/us/book/quotes-ruminations-contemplations/id1563102111?itsct=books_box_link&itscg=30200&ct=books_quotes%2C_ruminations_%26_contemplatio&ls=1

Subscribe to my YouTube channelIs it possible to become anxiously attached as a result of dating someone with avoidant patterns? That's the listener question I'm answering in today's Ask Steph episode. We'll talk about how our patterns can arise in response to someone else's, while also acknowledging fundamental differences in how people with secure vs. insecure attachment styles tend to respond to dysfunctional behaviour.LinksFree training for anxious attachment Follow me on InstagramTake my attachment styles quiz

Do you want your avoidant to be afraid to lose you, chase you and put in the effort they used to avoid giving?In this episode I explain the psychological shift that makes avoidants stop pulling away and start leaning back in instead.Get coachingDownload Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidantattachment #makeavoidantobsessed #getexback#getavoidantback #exback

Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-20-26&el=podcast Have you ever felt like you're doing everything to heal… reading the books, going to therapy, doing the work and still feel stuck? You're not alone. And more importantly… you're not broken. We're living in one of the most emotionally overwhelming times in history and your Attachment Style may be getting triggered in ways that make healing feel harder than ever. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down exactly why healing feels harder than ever and how this shows up differently depending on your Attachment Style. You'll learn how the modern world (social media, constant comparison, emotional overwhelm, and disconnection) amplifies your core attachment wounds, whether you're Anxious Avoidant, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, or Securely Attached. Thais walks through each Attachment Style and explains the specific challenges you may be facing in your healing journey and what you can do to start moving forward in a more grounded, empowered way. Key Takeaways ✔️ You're not failing at healing; you're healing in an overwhelming world. ✔️ Your Attachment Style may be getting triggered daily without you realizing it. ✔️ Anxious Attachment feels amplified by comparison, rejection, and fear of abandonment. ✔️ Avoidant patterns can hide behind independence, numbing, and emotional disconnection. ✔️ Fearful Avoidants may feel constant inner chaos mirrored by the outside world. ✔️ Secure Attachment isn't perfection, it's learning to regulate, reflect, and repair. Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

Lena Dunham vs Adam Driver. Cecily vs. a therapist. Avoidant vs Anxious. And then some!Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com slash rosepricks to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.Lumi Gummies are available nationwide! Go to LumiGummies.com  and use code ROSEPRICKS for 30% off your order.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation completely confused, not sure if anything was actually said?   In Episode 110 of Got Her Back, Carrie and Meg are pulling back the curtain on avoidant attachment style: what it looks like, how it shows up in dating, and why some women keep attracting the same emotionally unavailable person over and over again.   Plus, Carrie shares exciting updates on her Pretty in Pink cabin in Broken Bow, wedding planning conversations are officially heating up, and the girls float the idea of a Got Her Back girls' retreat — and honestly, we're here for all of it.   Chapters: 0:00 Cold Open — Spotting an Avoidant 0:45 Welcome Back & Cat Mom Updates 3:45 Hot Topic: Our Friend Is Dating an Avoidant (Again) 5:00 What Avoidant Attachment Actually Looks Like 7:30 They Talk in Circles — And Other Red Flags 9:30 Why Avoidants Go for Easier Targets 11:00 The Daddy Issues Connection (Attachment Roots) 13:00 "Let's Just Be Friends" — The Classic Avoidant Exit 15:00 Wedding Planning Check-In & Setting a Date 18:00 Backyard Wedding Vision & Decorator Goals 20:30 Pretty in Pink Cabin in Broken Bow 23:30 Got Her Back Girls' Retreat Idea 24:30 Final Thoughts — Don't Be an Avoidant, Put a Ring On It  

Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-15-26&el=podcast If you're dating a Dismissive Avoidant, it can feel like you're doing everything right… and still not getting the connection you want. That's because Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles experience love very differently often in ways they don't openly communicate. Understanding how they actually feel loved can completely change the way you approach the relationship without abandoning your own needs. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson shares the 5 key ways Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Styles feel loved, and why many of these needs are often misunderstood in relationships. You'll learn how honoring autonomy, creating emotional calm, maintaining independence, offering practical support, and protecting vulnerability all play a major role in helping Avoidant individuals feel safe enough to connect. Thais also explains how to balance meeting your own needs while adapting your approach — so you can build connection without reinforcing unhealthy patterns. Key Takeaways ✔️ Dismissive Avoidant individuals feel loved when their autonomy is respected ✔️ Calm, steady connection feels safer than emotional intensity ✔️ Independence and self-sourcing needs reduce pressure in relationships ✔️ Acts of practical support often communicate love more than words ✔️ Vulnerability must be met with safety, not criticism or shame ✔️ Space is often experienced as safety, not rejection ✔️ Secure communication balances both partners' needs Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

If you've ever called out an avoidant for pulling away, being distant or sending mixed signals, you may have accidentally pushed them further away.In this episode I explain why calling out an avoidant usually backfires and what to do instead if you want to stop the push-pull cycle.Get coaching!Download Silenzio App:  iPhone OR AndroidRead No Contact Secrets BookInstagram#avoidant #avoidantattachment #getexback #getavoidantback #attachmentstyle

Start Healing Core Wounds with Our Reparent Your Inner Child Course, Free with a 7-Day Trial to the Personal Development School https://offer.personaldevelopmentschool.com/reparenting-your-inner-child?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=reparenting-your-inner-child&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-13-26&el=podcast Have you ever been ghosted and felt like it must have been your fault? Like you did something wrong… or weren't enough? In this episode, we break down the real reasons why Dismissive Avoidant attachment styles pull away, and what it actually means about them… and about you. If you've ever been left confused, hurt, or chasing closure, this will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and how to take your power back. What You'll Learn in This Episode: What is a Dismissive Avoidant attachment style? The two key stages where avoidants pull away The real reasons Avoidants ghost (it's not what you think) Why being ghosted is not a reflection of your worth The subconscious patterns that keep you attracted to unavailable partners How to stop chasing and start choosing yourself Practical steps to break the cycle and build healthier relationships Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

In this episode, we explore the paradox of avoidant healing and why intimacy can feel both deeply comforting and deeply threatening at the same time.We talk about:why avoidant attachers often push away the very connection they desirethe fear of dependency, vulnerability, and losshow hyper-independence has disconnected many of us from healthy emotional reliancewhy intimacy is so much more than sexand how safe relationships can biologically reshape the way we experience love over timeThis is a raw and honest conversation about fear, closeness, healing, and learning how to slowly lean into intimacy despite the risk.Learn about 1:1 Attachment Coaching here.Get the Secure Self Kit here.

Explore Your Attachment Style With Thais Gibson. Access All Courses, Live Webinars & Q&As Free for 7 Days (Enough Time to Complete a Full Course). Limited-time Access: https://attachment.personaldevelopmentschool.com/dream-life?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=7-day-trial&utm_medium=organic&utm_content=pod-05-11-26&el=podcast Avoidant individuals don't just fear relationships they often have a very specific idea of what a relationship should look like. The challenge is that some of these expectations are healthy… and some are rooted in subconscious protection patterns that can quietly limit connection. Understanding these beliefs can help you better navigate relationships with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style or recognize these patterns within yourself. Episode Summary In this episode, Thais Gibson breaks down what individuals with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style believe a relationship should look like and which of these beliefs are healthy versus distorted. You'll learn how Avoidant individuals often prioritize harmony, independence, predictability, and low emotional intensity while also struggling with receiving needs, vulnerability, and emotional closeness. Thais also explains how preferences like needing space, minimizing dependency, and avoiding conflict can be both beneficial and limiting depending on how they are expressed in a relationship. Key Takeaways ✔️ Dismissive Avoidant individuals often prioritize harmony and low conflict ✔️ Independence and space are core needs in Avoidant Attachment Styles ✔️ Emotional closeness can feel unfamiliar or overwhelming ✔️ Avoidants may prefer meeting their own needs over relying on others ✔️ Acts of service and subtle affirmation are common love languages ✔️ Too much intensity or praise can feel uncomfortable or inauthentic ✔️ Lack of chaos can feel safe, but too much distance can limit connection Meet the Host Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she's helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships. Helpful Resources:

In the early stages of dating, it can be confusing when someone pulls away, sends mixed signals, or struggles with emotional closeness. Two patterns that often get mistaken for each other are narcissism and avoidant attachment. Here are five ways to tell the difference.►Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio ►If you're feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application ►Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate ►Get Sandy's books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook , Choice Points in Dating https://amzn.to/3jTFQe9 and Love at Last https://amzn.to/4erpj7C ►Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching ►FREE download: “Top 10 Reasons Why Men Suddenly Pull Away” http://bit.ly/whymendisappear ►FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/ ►Group Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/ ►Website → https://lastfirstdate.com/ ► Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1/ ► TikTok → https://www.tiktok.com/@lastfirstdate1►Get Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at https://getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate