Podcasts about Validation

Send us a textWhen you hear the word success, what do you think of?Most people think of results. Wins. Outcomes. Money. Titles. Validation.Very few people think of peace of mind.In this episode, I challenge that definition—and honestly, I challenge myself. Because tying success to results is one of the fastest ways to lose control, stay unsettled, and carry unnecessary weight from the past.Here's the reframe: Success isn't a result. Success is peace of mind.I break down the three disruptors that quietly steal that peace—the past, your current positioning, and your phobias (fear)—and why obsessing over outcomes keeps you stuck. You'll hear why you can do everything “right” and still lose… or do everything “wrong” and still win… and why that alone proves results can't be the scorecard.This episode is about effort over outcomes, becoming over arriving, and learning how to end the day with self-satisfaction—knowing you made the effort, regardless of how it turned out.If you've been restless, unsettled, or measuring yourself by wins and losses alone, this is a reset.Success is peace of mind. The question is: do you have it?Support the show

In Part Two of our Communication Series, EJ and Tarah Kerwin break down three of the most essential — and most misunderstood — relationship skills: validation, active listening, and repair attempts.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingMost couples don't struggle because they don't care — they struggle because they were never taught how to communicate when emotions are high. In this episode, EJ and Tarah explain why defensiveness is so common, how quickly conversations turn into arguments, and what it actually means to help your partner feel heard without giving up your own boundaries.Through real-life examples from their own relationship and years of clinical work, they explore:Why validation does NOT mean agreementHow active listening builds emotional safety (and why it's so hard)Common signs you're listening defensively instead of openlyWhy couples who avoid conflict often struggle more than couples who fightHow repair attempts can shorten conflict and prevent resentmentWhat to do when you miss the moment — because you willThis episode is practical, honest, and deeply human. If you've ever felt unheard, misunderstood, or stuck in the same argument over and over again, this conversation will give you tools you can start using today.

In the AI gold rush, most startups chase hype. Few focus on solving real problems. On the Predictable Revenue Podcast, host Collin Stewart spoke with Arvind Ramasamy, founder of StaffAgent.AI, about what actually drives traction: listening to customers, iterating fast, and doing the hard work of founder-led sales. This post breaks down that conversation into clear, actionable lessons for founders building AI products and chasing product-market fit, without getting lost in the noise. Highlights include: Finding the First Customer: Networking and Validation (07:16), Pivoting for Success: Adapting to Market Needs (09:33), Pricing Strategies: Finding the Right Model (14:17), Learning from the Journey (17:52), Navigating Funding Challenges (20:50), And more... Stay updated with our podcast and the latest insights on Outbound Sales and Go-to-Market Strategies!

AI is transforming e-discovery-but are your validation practices keeping pace? In this episode of Tech Law Talks, host Anthony Diana sits down with Kiriaki Tourikis and Marcin Krieger to tackle one of the most critical, and often misunderstood, aspects of AI-enabled discovery: how to prove your process was sound. The panel unpacks what validation really means, why it's far more than a checkbox exercise, and how it protects legal teams when opposing parties or courts come calling. They also share hard-won lessons on navigating aggressive discovery demands-and what not to agree to. Tune in for practical strategies to stay defensible as generative AI raises the stakes.

In this episode of Let's Combinate, host Subhi Saadeh breaks down the ICH Q2 guideline with a practical focus on analytical procedure validation. The discussion covers key definitions, core validation characteristics, and how ICH Q2 applies to drug delivery systems and drug-device combination products.Subhi explains how the revised ICH Q2 guideline aligns with ICH Q14 and what that alignment means for harmonizing analytical validation expectations across regions and regulatory authorities. The episode walks through key validation characteristics including accuracy, precision, specificity, linearity, and range, and clarifies the relationship between ICH Q2 and ICH Q14. Practical guidance is also provided on how to read and apply ICH Q2 efficiently, particularly for teams working with combination products.Timestamps00:00 Introduction to Let's ComBinate00:42 Purpose and importance of ICH Q203:11 Scope and product coverage06:10 Key validation characteristics08:15 Practical application and reading ICH Q210:23 Conclusion and next stepsSubhi Saadeh is the Founder and Principal at Let's Combinate. With a background in Quality, Manufacturing Operations and R&D he's worked in Large Medical Device/Pharma organizations to support the development and launch of Hardware Devices, Disposable Devices, and Combination Products for Vaccines, Generics, and Biologics. Subhi serves currently as the International Committee Chair for the Combination Products Coalition(CPC) and as a member of ASTM Committee E55 and also served as a committee member on AAMI's Combination Products Committee.For questions, inquiries or suggestions please reach out at letscombinate.com or on the show's LinkedIn Page.

Healthcare innovation still loves elegant stories. Unfortunately, elegant stories don't get funded when budgets are constrained. For years, the industry has relied on value narratives that sound reasonable but collapse under scrutiny. The most common failure is distance in the value chain. They often sound like: “If imaging quality improves, outcomes improve. If outcomes improve, costs go down.” Each step may be directionally true, but between the first link and the last sit dozens of confounding variables, including physician behavior, care pathways, payer policy, patient compliance, downstream utilization, and time. When value depends on all of them lining up, it is not value; it is a wish. 

Some families are living on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everyone seems fine. The next, it feels like the wheels are coming off. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Kate Lund, a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, and twin mom, to talk about resilience as a way of living rather than a trait you either have or do not have. Instead of seeing resilience as "you hit a challenge and bounce back," we explore what it looks like to build a steadier baseline so you can ride the waves of real life with a little more ease. Dr. Kate shares how she helps parents understand their own context first. That includes their nervous system, history, strengths, and the particular stressors they are carrying. From there, we talk about practical tools for modulating your stress response, including a simple daily relaxation practice that helps you learn what "regulated" actually feels like in your body so you can return to it more often. We also talk about timing. Kids of all ages need space to feel their feelings before they can look for possibilities or "what's next." We walk through real-life examples, including college rejections, tough games, and everyday disappointments, and how to sit with your child's emotions without rushing to fix them. A big part of this conversation focuses on perfectionism and comparison. Dr. Kate and I discuss why there is no resilience formula, why siblings in the same family can need completely different things, and how to move away from "perfect outcome" thinking and toward doing what is optimized within your own context. If you've ever wondered how to be a grounded leader in your family while still being a real human with your own feelings and limits, this episode will give you language, tools, and a more compassionate way to think about resilience for both you and your kids. Key Takeaways Resilience is a lifestyle, not a moment. Regulation becomes more accessible when tools are woven into daily life instead of saved for crises. Your nervous system sets the tone. When you are already stressed, even small challenges can overwhelm the whole family. A simple daily practice matters. A five-minute breathing practice paired with a calming word can teach your body what calm feels like. Self-awareness comes before strategy. Resilient parenting starts with being honest about your own strengths, limits, and stress patterns. Every child has their own context. Siblings can need completely different support based on their nervous systems. Validation comes before possibility. Kids need their feelings acknowledged before they can move forward. Sharing struggles builds connection. Age-appropriate honesty shows kids that resilience includes falling down and getting back up. Perfectionism blocks resilience. Growth happens when you work within your real life, not an imaginary ideal. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. Resilient families stay curious and adjust over time. Possibility lives on the other side of hard things. Holding a long view allows hope without minimizing today's challenges. About Dr. Kate Lund Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, author, and host of The Optimized Mind podcast. With specialized training from three Harvard Medical School–affiliated hospitals and more than two decades of clinical practice, she helps parents, athletes, students, and entrepreneurs thrive within their unique contexts. She is the author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life and Step Away: The Keys to Resilient Parenting. Dr. Kate also volunteers at Seattle Children's Hospital with her dog, Wally, supporting young patients facing medical challenges. About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet I'm Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home. Complicated Kids Resources and Links

If you've been working hard, growing, achieving — and still don't feel confident — you're not alone.In this episode of Your Courageous Life, Kate breaks down the hidden habits that quietly erode confidence, even in capable people. You'll learn why constantly seeking validation undermines self-trust, how humility sometimes becomes self-erasure, and why waiting to “feel ready” keeps you stuck in doubt.Grounded in psychology and courage-based practice, this episode teaches you how to rebuild authentic confidence from the inside out — one small act of self-trust at a time.Because confidence doesn't come from hype or perfection — it comes from choosing yourself.

In this week's episode, Episode 568 of The Perceptive Photographer, I spend some time reflecting on a tension many photographers experience, whether we admit it or not: the pull between photographing for ourselves and photographing for validation. At some point, often without realizing it, we start making images with an audience in mind. We think about what will be liked, shared, or understood rather than what genuinely holds our attention. Validation isn't inherently bad. It can be encouraging and even motivating, but when it becomes our north star, so to speak, when we make photographs, it quietly starts to shape our choices. Subjects become safer, risks become fewer, and curiosity gives way to performance. This comes up again and again in my work. I have it course-corrected, but a subtle change shifts it back off track. There will be periods when I am/was/will be clearly trying to impress—chasing responses rather than experiences. The camera shifted from exploration to results. Over time, that approach gets a little exhausting. I also know that when I stopped trying to impress and started paying closer attention to what actually interested me. The work became quieter. The subjects became simpler. It becomes a meaningful body of work. And while the external responses might not be immediate or loud or what I hoped for, the photographs felt more honest and more meaningful.  This isn't about rejecting social media or avoiding sharing work. It's about recognizing who you're really making photographs for and what happens when you allow your own curiosity to lead. I invite listeners to consider what they would photograph if no one else ever saw the image—and why those photographs might matter more than we think.

CalmWave is tackling ICU alarm fatigue—a problem where patients generate up to 1,600 alarms per day because clinicians lack data-driven guidance on setting vital sign thresholds. The company processes 32 million data points daily from a single 14-hospital system by fusing high-frequency vital signs from Philips InteliBridge with EMR data from Epic in real time. This represents 10 billion data points annually at current run rate. Ophir Ronen, a sixth-time founder who previously sold to PagerDuty, built CalmWave by applying enterprise IT operations patterns to healthcare infrastructure. The company secured its first comprehensive system-wide agreement within months of launch and now holds 51 patents with 20 more pending as medical device manufacturers pursue distribution partnerships. Topics Discussed Why middleware interoperability is a prerequisite for clinical safety, not a feature  The technical challenge of fusing 10x more data from vitals systems than EMR systems  Building trust through transparent AI that exposes mathematical reasoning to clinicians  Scaling from 7 million to 32 million daily data points across hospital rollout phases  How CalmWave's common signal format enables data scientists to work with clean datasets  Positioning alarm fatigue as a beachhead into broader hospital operations platforms  The innovation investment arm validation pathway for startup enterprise sales  Extending the signals-incidents-events pattern to energy, defense, and manufacturing GTM Lessons For B2B Founders Interoperability becomes your moat when it's a safety prerequisite: CalmWave couldn't provide safe alarm recommendations using only vital signs data without knowing which medications had been administered that could affect those vitals. This forced them to build bidirectional integration with both Philips InteliBridge (high-frequency vitals) and Epic EMR before addressing the clinical problem. The integration layer itself—which normalizes, enriches, and structures data into their common signal format—became defensible IP. Ophir noted that high-frequency vitals data is "erased on a rolling 30-day basis" at most hospitals, making CalmWave's fused dataset genuinely novel. Founders in healthcare or other regulated industries should identify whether data fusion across siloed systems is required for safety or efficacy, then build that integration capability as core infrastructure rather than expecting customers to solve it. Transparent AI sells better than black box AI in clinical environments: When presenting to 30 senior leaders including a notoriously difficult CMO, CalmWave walked through the mathematical basis of their algorithms—demonstrating exactly how they calculate safe alarm threshold adjustments. The CMO stood up mid-presentation and said, "You guys shouldn't even call yourselves AI. This is math and statistics. I understand exactly what you're doing. Well done. This is truly innovative." This validation from clinical leadership came from showing the work, not from accuracy metrics alone. Founders selling AI into risk-averse environments should build explainability into their core product architecture, enabling clinicians to understand why each recommendation is generated rather than treating interpretability as a post-hoc feature. Innovation investment arms provide validation pathways that bypass procurement: CalmWave's breakthrough came when an innovation investment arm from a major health system reached out after three months of due diligence, then placed them in front of clinicians. Two weeks before signing a comprehensive system-wide agreement, they presented to the C-suite. This pathway avoided traditional vendor procurement cycles. The innovation arm acted as internal champion, pre-validating the startup's approach before exposing them to decision-makers. Founders targeting large healthcare systems should identify which organizations have dedicated innovation or venture arms, recognizing these groups are measured on finding novel solutions rather than minimizing vendor risk. Beachhead problems in enterprise must be urgent enough to overcome startup friction: Ophir explicitly chose alarm fatigue because health systems with IT budgets in the hundreds of millions needed "something compelling enough to make them engage" with a startup. ICU alarm fatigue has regulatory scrutiny, patient safety implications, and nursing burnout consequences that create executive-level urgency. The problem was important enough that clinical leadership would tolerate the integration complexity and vendor risk of working with an early-stage company. Founders should evaluate beachhead opportunities not just by market size but by whether the pain point has organizational consequences severe enough to justify betting on an unproven vendor. Adjacent domain pattern recognition creates non-obvious competitive advantages: CalmWave's team came from building large-scale operations platforms at PagerDuty, where they developed expertise in processing massive streaming data, correlating events, and reducing alert noise. They recognized that ICU alarm fatigue followed the same structural pattern as IT operations alarm fatigue—too many alerts without context. This allowed them to apply a proven architectural approach (signals → alarms → incidents → events) to a new vertical where healthcare incumbents lacked that specific systems thinking. One hospital generates 7 million data points daily; their platform now handles 32 million across multiple facilities. Founders with deep operational expertise in one domain should actively map their architectural patterns to adjacent verticals where incumbents haven't solved analogous problems at scale. // Sponsors: Front Lines — We help B2B tech companies launch, manage, and grow podcasts that drive demand, awareness, and thought leadership. www.FrontLines.io The Global Talent Co. — We help tech startups find, vet, hire, pay, and retain amazing marketing talent that costs 50-70% less than the US & Europe. www.GlobalTalent.co // Don't Miss: New Podcast Series — How I Hire Senior GTM leaders share the tactical hiring frameworks they use to build winning revenue teams. Hosted by Andy Mowat, who scaled 4 unicorns from $10M to $100M+ ARR and launched Whispered to help executives find their next role. Subscribe here: https://open.spotify.com/show/53yCHlPfLSMFimtv0riPyM

Send us a text“Small t” and “big T” are common trauma terms meant to validate, but they can also trigger comparison, minimisation, or shame. In this episode, you'll learn what these labels usually mean, why they sometimes backfire, and how to replace ranking with a more compassionate, nervous-system-based framework. You'll also get a simple reframe list (cumulative, relational, chronic vs single-incident, acute) and a short grounding practice to help your system step out of comparison and back into the present.In this episode, you'll learnWhat people typically mean by big T and small t traumaWhy the “missing middle” matters (quiet, chronic, relational stress that still shapes the nervous system)How comparison keeps people stuck: “It wasn't bad enough” vs “I'm permanently damaged”A clearer alternative to ranking: impact + support + recoveryPolyvagal-informed understanding of why the nervous system doesn't rank events “on paper”A short, safe-for-most grounding practice focused on validation and present-moment safetyGentle remindersTrauma isn't a competition, and you don't need to justify your pain to deserve support.If you feel activated or numb while listening, that's a nervous system response; pause anytime.Check the website for free resources available to both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.What's nextNext episode: Before Words: Understanding Preverbal Trauma We'll explore how the body can carry trauma from experiences that happened before you had language and how to work with it gently.Support the show

Validation is the act of recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting another person's thoughts, feelings, or experiences as real and understandable—without judgment, dismissal, or the need to fix them. Why does it matter? When you have Borderline Personality Disorder you've likely experienced a profound amount of invalidation. In this episode we go into detail about why it matters to be validated by others and yourself. Send us a text message to be anonymously read and responded to! Support the showYou can find Sara on Instagram @borderlinefromhell. You can also find the podcast on IG @boldbeautifulborderline Corey Evans is the artist for the music featured. He can be found HERE Talon Abbott created the cover art. He. can be found HERE Leave us a voicemail about your thoughts or questions on the show at boldbeautifulborderline.comIf you like the show we would love if you could rate, subscribe and support us on Patreon. Patreon info here: https://www.patreon.com/boldbeautifulborderline?fan_landing=true Purchase Sara's Exploring Your Borderline Strengths Journal at https://www.amazon.com/Exploring-Your-Borderline-Strengths-Amundson/dp/B0C522Y7QT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=IGQBWJRE3CFX&keywords=exploring+your+borderline+strengths&qid=1685383771&sprefix=exploring+your+bor%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1 For mental health supports: National Suicide Pr...

In this episode, I'm sitting down with the incredible Dr. Caroline Fleck, clinical psychologist and author of the transformative new book, Validation. We often talk about allyship as a series of seemingly small, intentional actions, and some of the most profound work happens in the small, everyday moments of how we see and hear one another. Dr. Fleck joins me to pull back the curtain on validation—a skill that is frequently misunderstood but serves as a fundamental prerequisite for belonging and true connection. We dive into her "Validation Ladder" and explore how these techniques can revolutionize not just our corporate cultures, but our personal relationships and how we show up for ourselves. 3 Key Takeaways from Our Conversation: Validation is Not Agreement or Praise: One of the biggest hurdles to being a good ally is the fear that validating a perspective means you agree with it. Dr. Fleck clarifies that validation is about acknowledging the truth in someone's experience—showing them you're there, you get it, and you care—without needing to agree with their logic or offer a "good job." The "Validation Ladder" Framework: Effective validation is a tiered process. It starts at base camp with mindfulness (being fully present), moves through understanding (equalizing and contextualizing why someone feels the way they do), and reaches the top at empathy (authentically emoting and taking supportive action). The Power of Self-Validation: Especially for marginalized groups who have been conditioned to "cover" or minimize their feelings to fit in, practicing self-validation is an essential act of reclamation. Using these tools introspectively allows us to honor our own experiences as valid, which is the first step toward showing up as a confident, authentic leader. Follow Dr. Caroline Fleck and get her book at https://drcarolinefleck.com/.

America Out Loud PULSE with Dr. Randall Bock – Modern medicine falters not from ignorance, but from misplaced authority. Drawing on Greek traditions of open debate and ethical restraint, this piece argues that science and healthcare thrive when challenge precedes consensus. As paternalism replaces advocacy, trust erodes. Restoring contestable authority allows medicine and science to correct themselves without collapse...

America Out Loud PULSE with Dr. Randall Bock – Modern medicine falters not from ignorance, but from misplaced authority. Drawing on Greek traditions of open debate and ethical restraint, this piece argues that science and healthcare thrive when challenge precedes consensus. As paternalism replaces advocacy, trust erodes. Restoring contestable authority allows medicine and science to correct themselves without collapse...

Three years ago, Sabrina Zohar hit rock bottom after losing everything she thought defined her. In this raw anniversary episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show, she reflects on the journey from heartbreak, identity collapse, and losing her sense of direction to rebuilding her life through self-trust, nervous system healing, and emotional growth. This episode explores grief, attachment patterns, worthiness, and what happens when the path you were certain about disappears. Joined by her partner (romantic and business) Ryan halfway through, Sabrina unpacks anxious and avoidant dynamics, boundaries, communication, and why healing doesn't mean never being triggered again. If you've ever felt lost after a breakup, attached to outcomes, or afraid of being seen, this episode is a reminder that you're not broken. You're becoming. If you're ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! If you're serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Go to Quince.com/SABRINA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Get organized, refreshed, and back on track this new year for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Text SABRINA to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina ============================= Chapters 00:00 – When Your Life Doesn't Go the Way You Planned 03:12 – Losing Your Identity After a Breakup or Career Collapse 07:05 – Hitting Rock Bottom and Rebuilding From Scratch 10:48 – Why We Attach Our Worth to Relationships and Success 14:32 – Healthy Relationships Still Trigger Your Nervous System 18:10 – Anxious and Avoidant Attachment in Real Life 22:05 – Boundaries, Communication, and Emotional Safety 26:18 – Why Being “Too Much” Was Never the Problem 30:12 – Letting Go of Control, Validation, and External Approval 34:40 – Healing Without Perfection or Constant Positivity 38:20 – Final Takeaways: Self-Trust, Growth, and Becoming Yourself Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is communication the biggest struggle in your relationship? You're not alone.Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingIn Part 1 of our 3-part Communication Series, relationship experts and hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down why communication goes wrong so often—even when we love our partner and have the best intentions.This episode focuses on the “DON'Ts” of communication: the instinctive, automatic responses we fall into when we're tired, defensive, triggered, or overwhelmed. These reactions may feel honest in the moment, but they often shut down connection and emotional safety.Through real-life examples, personal stories, and practical reframes, Tarah and EJ show how the same situations can feel completely different when handled with validation, active listening, and emotional awareness.In this episode, you'll learn:Why emotional invalidation damages trust (even when you're trying to help)How saying “I never said that” escalates conflict instead of resolving itWhy accusations and blame shut down vulnerabilityThe hidden danger of mind reading and unspoken expectationsWhy fights about chores are almost never about the choresHow just one partner responding differently can completely change the outcome of a conflictThis episode lays the foundation for healthier communication—not perfection. If you've ever thought, “We keep having the same fight over and over,” this series is for you.Coming next:Part 2: Validation & Active Listening (the skills that change everything)Part 3: Triggers, Repair Attempts & Slowing ReactivityResources Mentioned:Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonRelationship Renovation at Home Podcast Community & MembershipMonthly live Q&A with Tarah & EJDeeper video lessonsDaily relationship tipsNow only $25/month

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or check out the fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Katie K. May, a licensed therapist and author of the book You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We discussed children/teens who are “fire feelers”, why intense emotions can lead to risky behaviours, how to respond to self-harm urges, how to stay connected or rebuild your connection with your teen, and what parents of younger children can do now to prevent challenges in their teen years.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this episode? Share it with them!We talk about:* 00:05 — What Is a Fire Feeler?* 00:06 — What Emotional Dysregulation Really Means* 00:07 — Fire Feelers Often Have Fire-Feeler Parents- Genetic and Environmental Components* 00:10 — Why Teens Are So Easily Overwhelmed* 00:12 — What Fire Feelers Do When Overwhelmed* 00:20 — How Parents Should Respond to Self-Harm Urges* 00:22 — When to Get Professional Help* 00:24 — Why Depression Looks Different in Teens* 00:25 — Teens Still Need Their Parents* 00:26 — How to Stay Connected to Teens* 00:28 — Judgment vs Validation* 00:31 — How to Rebuild Connection When Things Are Broken- Katie's Hierarchy of Connection* 00:34 — Sensitivity & Impulsivity* 00:35 — What Parents of Younger Kids Can Do Now* 00:37 — Why Control Works When Kids Are Young — and Fails Later* 00:38 — Why “Tough Love” Doesn't WorkResources mentioned in this episode:* Evelyn & Bobbie bras* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Get a free chapter of Katie's book * Katie's website Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the summer for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO: YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREEvelyn & Bobbie bras: If underwires make you want to rip your bra off by noon, Evelyn & Bobbie is for you. These bras are wire-free, ultra-soft, and seriously supportive—designed to hold you comfortably all day without pinching, poking, or constant adjusting. Check them out HEREPodcast Transcript:Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Katie May. She's a therapist and the author of You're On Fire. It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens With Self-Destructive Behaviors. We talked about why some teens are what she calls “fire feelers,” and about how best to support them—and ourselves—when emotional dysregulation is common, troubling, and can be destructive.If you don't have a teen yet, but you have a kiddo with big feelings, have a listen, because Katie also talks about what she wishes parents of younger kids knew so they didn't end up with these sorts of challenges down the road. Let's meet Katie.Sarah: Hi, Katie. Welcome to the podcast.Katie: Hey, Sarah. I'm glad to be here. Excited to talk about teens and parenting today—stuff I'm jazzed to share.Sarah: Me too. Yeah. And I loved your book. I'll ask you about that in a second—or maybe you can tell us who you are and what you do.Katie: Yeah. My name is Katie K. May. I'm a licensed therapist in Pennsylvania, and I lead a team of other therapists. We all specialize in working with high-risk teens and their parents. So every day, we're in the trenches working with teenagers who are suicidal, self-harming, have eating disorders, are not going to school, and we're helping them learn skills while also teaching their parents how to respond effectively—so the whole family is working together as a system in harmony.Sarah: And your book's called You're On Fire. It's Fine. I like it. My book—Katie: Go ahead.Sarah: No, it's a great title.Katie: Yeah. So I came to that title from this idea of biologically sensitive teens—or very sensitive teens—often feeling like they're on fire with their own emotions. And I can dig into any part of that. But the idea is that parents who are well-meaning will many times say things like, “You're fine. It's okay. Go take a nap. Go get a snack.” And it feels like a little squirt gun trying to put out this big fire of emotion. So I thought that title captured those two points initially, to bring people into the framework that I teach.Sarah: I love that. And it's funny—I had a different interpretation of the title, and my interpretation, now that you said what you meant it to be, I can totally see that. But my interpretation was more like, “You're on fire. You can handle these big feelings. It's fine.” Like, this is just—let's get used to feeling the feelings. So I guess it could be read either way.Katie: I like both interpretations, and I think your interpretation speaks to probably how you support and parent. It's nurturing and supportive of the process.Sarah: Yeah. So tell us: what is a fire feeler?Katie: A fire feeler is someone who is biologically sensitive. And what I mean by that is this is a kid who feels things very deeply. Their emotions are big and oftentimes overwhelming for them. And not just that—these are your zero-to-sixty-in-ten-seconds-flat kind of kids. They're reactive, they're easy to trigger, and when they're triggered and they're feeling their emotions in these very big ways, it also takes them a very long time to calm down or get back to their baseline.And this is important because if you think about that slow return to feeling settled or centered again, oftentimes they're being triggered again before they get back to that place of calm. And so they have a nervous system that's constantly in a state of dysregulation—constantly triggered and upset. And it is very hard to access safety or calm or feeling okay because of that.Sarah: And you mentioned emotional dysregulation, and in your book you have a very specific definition of emotional dysregulation. I thought it was a little more helpful and also a little bit more unusual. Can you give us your definition of emotional dysregulation?Katie: So when someone is emotionally dysregulated, when they are triggered, it sets off this chain of emotions for them. Again, we go back to this idea that they feel on fire with their emotions. They're often at this skills-breakdown point where it's difficult to access skills or to calm down. And when you're feeling on fire with your emotions, it makes sense that your brain comes up with escape strategies—things like self-harm, suicidal ideation, substance use—because it's so big and hard to hold that the brain would do anything to make those emotions go away.Sarah: I love that. And you also mentioned that people are biologically predisposed to be fire feelers, so I'm guessing that usually a teen's one or both parents are also fire feelers, which would add a complication to the mix.Katie: I would say so. I often find myself telling parents: some kids are born naturally good at sports. Some kids are born naturally good at music or art. And some kids are born naturally good at emotions—which means they're very attuned to emotional states or nuances in the emotions of others.And when we think about that as a genetic trait or a biological trait, it also makes sense that at least one of their parents carries this trait and is passing it down. And I think when I start to describe fire feelers—who they are and what it looks like—I regularly have at least one parent saying, “Oh, that's me,” or “That's you, honey.” They recognize it.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. So I guess that makes home more complicated too when you've got a fire feeler and a fire feeler trying to find their way together.Katie: It's almost like if you yawn and it's contagious—and the other person catches it. So if you have two people that are both biologically sensitive and they're in the same room, one of them is triggered, one of them has a high state of emotional activation, it's hard in general for another person in the room not to respond to that.So there's something that I teach. It's called the transactional model. So let's say a teenager is boiling over with frustration, and they're exhibiting it. They're bawling their fists. They're snapping back at their parent. The parent then absorbs that emotion and they're snapping back: “Don't talk to me like that,” or, “It's not okay for you to say that,” or “Don't walk away from me.” Which then influences how the teen responds. And then the teen will continue to push or yell back, which then influences how the parent responds.So we're always looking at: How is it that I am influencing how you respond? How is it that you are influencing how I respond? And if everybody feels their emotions in these very big ways, it's going to make that escalation that much bigger or faster because everyone's overwhelmed in their emotions.Sarah: So hard. I'm sure a lot of people listening can relate even when their kids aren't teenagers yet—because that happens with little kids too.Katie: Absolutely. It applies to all ages. I just happen to work with teenagers and parents.Sarah: Speaking of teens, you mentioned in your book that teenagers are more prone to overwhelm. Can you briefly explain why that is? Because I talk about that too. I always say, “The drama is real.”Katie: The drama is real. Thank you for saying that. So the way I look at it: teens are in this developmental state when so much is happening for them. They have unfully formed frontal lobes, which helps to regulate their emotions. They're also dealing with hormonal changes, developmental changes, social stressors, peer stressors. They're in school six hours a day, five days a week. There's so much stress that's placed on our teens.And so if we think about a stress cup holding stress, it's oftentimes just this one little extra drop that makes them lose control or makes them feel overwhelmed in their emotions. And I would say that's probably true for everyone—that we're all holding a lot, and it only takes a little to push us over the edge—but I think it's the brain development that makes it even more challenging.And then I'll add to that the lack of control or agency over their own lives. They don't have a lot of choice about what they do each day or what they have to do or who's telling them what to do. So there's a lot that's outside of their control, and that makes it even harder to control or manage their emotions.Sarah: I'm so glad you work with teenagers. You have such an empathetic view of what it's like to be a teenager, and I think a lot of people—just a little sidebar—teens get such a bad rap in our culture and they're so wonderful. I love teenagers. And also, I would never in a million years choose to go back to those years.Katie: I wouldn't either, but I do feel like I have a strong connection with the teen population. It's interesting—we run parent groups at my center, and that's a question that we'll ask: Do you remember being a teenager?And I think it's hard for a lot of adults to empathize with the teen experience. But being able to do so—being able to put yourself in a teenager's shoes—is going to help you support them so much more. Which is one of the things that I talk about in my book and in my work often: acceptance or validation before change. We always want to be understanding of the experience before we're trying to problem-solve or change that experience.Sarah: I want to ask you about validation a little bit later in our conversation, but before we get to that: what are some common reactions of fire feelers to overwhelm?Katie: Yeah. Some of those common reactions tend to be self-destructive because, again, if we think about this idea that fire feelers are overwhelmed with their emotions—the big, fiery, painful experience for them—it's not a conscious decision, but they would do anything to make that fire go out.So this could be self-harm. This could be thinking about suicide. This could also be lashing out at parents. It could be numbing out in front of the TV or scrolling on social media for hours because it hurts too much to feel and I need to numb myself from that. It could be cutting themselves off from friends because the experience of relationships is so painful.So a fire feeler will have a strong attunement to nuance and facial expressions and tones of voice. And so what might feel okay for one person, for a fire feeler might be interpreted as rejection or might be interpreted as “I did something wrong,” or “There's something wrong with me.” And so the natural response of a fire feeler is to do whatever it takes to protect themselves from being on fire.Sarah: I don't even know if I totally understand it—but how do, and I know a lot of people don't, how does self-harm bring relief to those feelings of overwhelm?Katie: So there's a biological response to it: when you self-harm—when one engages in a self-harm or self-destructive behavior—there is short-term relief. So if you think about emotions rising, rising, rising, what happens is it either blocks the escalation of those emotions, or it makes the emotional state come down quickly. It's body physiology.In addition to that, there are two parts to it. The first part is that it's called negative reinforcement, and that doesn't mean that something negative happens; it means it's the removal of something that's difficult. So that's what I just described. You self-harm, you start thinking about suicide—it becomes an escape. It helps you to feel a sense of relief.The second part of that is positive reinforcement, and that's the social piece. A parent finds out that I self-harmed, and all of a sudden I am given warmth. You're sitting on my bed. We're having a heart-to-heart. You're emailing the teacher to say that I don't have to go to school tomorrow.So there's this one-two stack of: I feel better in the moment because it brings my body physiology back into a state of balance or regulation. And then on top of that, I'm getting my social needs met. And therefore it makes it really hard to break that cycle because there are all of these—this chain reaction of things that happen—that make me go from feeling awful to okay, and sometimes even more supported than before.Sarah: That was such an interesting thing to read about in your book because I thought, “Oh man.” If I were a parent and had a teen that was self-harming, it would be so hard not to do that second part—the positive, what you call the positive reinforcement. So how do you support a teen without making it, “I self-harm and then I get a lot of really lovely warmth and attention”?Katie: Yeah. So it's not about removing the warmth and attention. It's about changing where you put that warmth and attention. Instead of it being directly after self-harm, maybe it's in structured and measured doses throughout the day.So maybe we're having a heart-to-heart in the morning. Maybe we're going out and spending time together or watching TV together just because—and not because I self-harmed.The other thing that I like to make sure that parents are familiar with and practiced with is how they respond when a teen shares an urge to self-harm or an urge for suicide. Because the way that it typically plays out—at least the first time a parent finds out about urges or that a behavior has happened—they're crushed. Of course. Their face falls. They're hurt. It hurts them to see that their child is hurting. They might cry. They might feel really anxious or helpless.But a teen that's witnessing that is interpreting that as, “My parent can't handle this information, and therefore I can't go to them with this information again.”And so the practice for parents is minding your tone—being calm—minding your face, being more like, “Thank you for trusting me,” than, “I'm going to fall apart right now,” and minding your pace—staying calm and regulated and not rushing forward or feeling frantic.And when we do this, what we communicate to our teens is: “I can handle this information. Therefore, in the future, you can come to me when you're having an urge and we can handle it together, rather than you taking care of it by acting on it—and then me finding out afterwards.”So that's how we change the cycle: structured and measured warmth, consistent support, ongoing—not just after an event—and also being able to handle the information, even if you're falling apart inside, because that is completely valid. But showing to your teen: “You're not going to freak me out. I'm not going to fall apart if you tell me the hard stuff. I'm here for you. Come to me and we'll handle it together.”Sarah: And find your own support elsewhere.Katie: One hundred percent. Yeah. Parents—I think any parent is going to need support, whether that's their village, their people, their partner, their friend, a therapist. Parenting alone is tough stuff, and I wouldn't recommend it.Sarah: And I should have asked you this earlier in the interview, but when—are there any signs? A parent finds out your kid is self-harming or telling you they have the urges—is it straightaway “get help,” or are there early stages you can handle it yourself as a parent? When is this 911 getting help, and when is it, “Okay, we're going to figure this out”?Katie: It's somewhere in the middle of “911” and “we're going to figure this out.” The stance would be: if your teen has already self-harmed, they need to be in therapy. It's beyond the point of handling it on your own.When you're noticing—it's such a tough line because on one hand there are these typical teen behaviors: “I'm going to spend more time in my room.” Teens are moodier. They're more irritable. They want less to do with parents. They're more private. They don't want to talk to parents. And so I don't want there to be an overreaction to typical teen behavior.But if we're starting to see a duration, intensity, and frequency of that behavior that's beyond typical—which, again, is going to look different depending on the child—my measure is usually: if my teen for two weeks is more tearful, more self-critical, more hopeless, not enjoying or engaging in activities that they used to—these are signs of depression. And that would be the point when I would want to engage more professional help to support in the process, because that's where we're going to start being proactive and head off escalation of crisis.What happens is—and especially for teenagers—the symptoms of depression can lead to self-harm because there's an overwhelm of that emotion. There's a sense of hopelessness. Suicidal thoughts are one of the descriptors of the diagnosis of depression. We don't want it to get to that point. We want to put help in place sooner.Sarah: That makes sense. I read something the other day that in teenagers depression can look different than adults and sometimes it looks like irritability.Katie: It really depends on the person. So I always go back to—we've all heard “nature and nurture,” but I think of it as biology and environment. Same idea, different words. But for some people, their environment can feel really safe to be vulnerable. It can feel really natural to express emotions, to cry, to be in that more vulnerable state. And for others, it doesn't.Or for others, they've learned that being vulnerable isn't safe for them. It isn't manly enough for them. It really depends on the culture and environment. And so it can come across as irritability. It can come across as anger—different dispositions as to whether someone internalizes their emotions or externalizes them or sends them outward to others.Sarah: That makes sense. I think it's good for parents to have an eye on things that maybe look different than they expect, just to keep track.Katie: Yeah. And parents and teens don't always express emotions the same way. I'm a very expressive and emotional person. I'm a therapist. I've also spent my whole life figuring out how to express my emotions. And I would say that my child is probably the opposite of that and doesn't like being vulnerable in front of other people. So what you think makes sense may not make sense to the brain of another person.Sarah: You were talking before about warm connection with parents, and you mentioned that it is normal for teens to want to spend more time by themselves or with peers. But one thing I wonder—and I wonder if you come across this too—parents often think that means, “My kid doesn't want to spend time with me anymore,” or, “My kid doesn't need me.” And my experience with my kids as teenagers was that wasn't true at all—that even as they were moving away and differentiating, they still did like to spend time with their parents, and they still did like to do stuff with us and be close to us. What are some ways that you find are helpful ways for parents to connect? And how do you assure them that, “Yeah, you still are important”?Katie: Yeah. As a child is growing and gaining more independence, it is such a natural experience for parents to feel grief and loss in that process because the relationship is changing. Teens do need parents less. Teens are more independent. They don't want as much time spent with parents.And so it's important, one, to recognize that as a developmental milestone, and two, to recognize that means the way that you interact and respond to your teen changes as well. And so you're not expecting the same attention or response from them as you did before.But this is a grief process because you're grieving the relationship as it used to be. You're grieving your teen as they used to be. But you're also—and this is the part we don't think about—grieving yourself as you used to be because you have to become a new version of yourself to show up for your teen in a new way.And so all of that is to say that it requires a lot of flexibility, openness to evolving, willingness to change how you see, interact, and speak with your teen. And so in thinking about that, it's helpful to think about: What is it that my teen needs from me now?They might not need me to cut up their food or call their teacher for them or set up their playdate for them. They might need me to drive them somewhere and listen to the music that they like and not be the one leading the conversation. They might need me to sit on the couch with them while they watch The Office and notice the parts they laugh at and just be there with them.And both of those examples really nicely illustrate that your teens need less from you, but they don't not need you. They need you to be more of a partner and less of a doing-for.Sarah: When my husband and I both had pretty stable teenage years, we also had parents who were working a lot and not home when we were home. And I'm not saying this to make anyone feel guilty who isn't home after school, but we really tried to structure our lives so that somebody would be home after school even when the kids were teenagers. Because our joke was: even if it's just somebody who's there that they can ignore.Katie: It's so true. But they know that you're there.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. So you talked a little bit about validation before. Can you talk a little bit about validation and its opposite—judgment—maybe starting with judgment: what to avoid when our teens are having big feelings? I mentioned before that I often say the drama is real. I think that's where some of the judgment comes in with parents sometimes. Like, “Oh, come on, you can't be that upset that the jeans you were hoping to wear are still wet in the washing machine.” Where do parents make mistakes in terms of that judgment?Katie: For me, I see judgments as the fuel to the emotional fire. So when we are seeing our teen act in certain ways, judgments are our interpretation of their experience. One of those examples might be: a teen is having a hard time getting up and going to school because they're really depressed, and they've been white-knuckling every single day, and today is just the day that they can't. They can't do it.And so judgments from a parent might look like, “Why can't you just go? Everyone else is going. Just get up. Here's the list of coping skills that your therapist gave us. Use your coping skills.”So it's this judgment that they can, and they're choosing not to.Other judgments that I hear regularly are: “They're manipulative. They're doing this on purpose to upset me. They're attention-seeking.”Oftentimes our judgments are because if we weren't judging and casting blame, we would be having to hold a really frustrating or painful reality. So if I'm not judging my teen and saying, “Why can't you just get up and go to school? Just use your coping skills. It's not this bad,” then what I'd be having to hold is: my teen is really struggling right now. My teen—the person that I love the most in the world—is thinking about wanting to die right now. And that's awful for me.And so judgments are a way of pulling ourselves out of this emotional pain, but also shifting that blame to the other person. And instead of being able to hold their experience.And if we're not judging, we're able to first just notice and name and sit with the experience, which is kind of what I described: “My teen is in a lot of pain right now. They're struggling to get out of bed and even function in their day, and that's really hard.” And when I can name that, I can feel that for myself, and it feels really hard and painful and difficult.And then the outward version of that is validating them: being able to say, “I see how hard you're struggling right now. I see the pain on your face. I hear the lack of energy. This is really hard for you right now.”So we can name the experience for ourselves with our notice-and-name, and then we can validate the experience for our teen by noticing and naming their experience.And when we do this, it does often make the emotion feel more painful because we're naming it. I think a common experience of that is: if you've ever been struggling and then someone in your life, in passing, says, “What's wrong? You look like you're going to cry right now,” and then all of a sudden the tears come because someone has named the experience. The experience was there all along, but having someone see it—having someone tell you, “This is real, this makes sense,” or “I notice what you're going through”—it makes it come to the surface.It's actually a helpful experience, because if we don't name what's happening, we're judging it, we're stifling it, we're ignoring it. And that's like holding a beach ball under water. Eventually it's going to pop out, but we can't control what happens when it does. Someone's going to get hit in the face.So we want to take ownership, we want to validate, we want to notice and name what we're experiencing, and these are the ways that we move toward acceptance of what is, so we have an ability to move toward problem-solving.Sarah: Where would somebody start who's listening to this and hearing all of the examples that you're giving of communication—if they're not even at a point where their teen is communicating with them? Like, things have gotten so fraught and feel so broken. Where would somebody start with that?Katie: It's what I call my hierarchy of connection. Oftentimes there is this big rift in the relationship because it's not just one time that something has happened—it's years or multiple experiences that have gotten them to this point, of this rift in the relationship.So the hierarchy of connection is our blueprint and our path back to connection. It starts with parent and teen being in the same room together—not interacting, but also not criticizing, not having this tension or conflict happening.The example I give often is: I'm in the kitchen putting groceries away. Teen is sitting on the couch scrolling social media or watching YouTube. But I'm not saying, “Hey, did you do your homework? Did you take your medicine? Did you do this?” I'm just existing and they're just existing. And we need to practice being in the same space together without that criticism or nagging happening.When that can happen, we can move into shared activities. This would be watching a movie together, watching TV together, driving somewhere, listening to music. Again: no tension, no conflict, no criticizing. Doing the same thing together without any of those things happening.And this could take a very long time. It's not one, two, three. It could be six months of doing the same thing at the same time before you're moving on.The final step is moving back to interactive activities. This could be something like playing a board game and talking to each other, having an actual conversation at the dinner table, or a deeper conversation about something that's a bigger experience. It could be the ability to do this within the context of therapy, so you're able to have some of those scarier conversations.But there needs to be a level of trust, and an ability not to act on urges to criticize or lead the conversation to nag or check off the to-dos. You have to be able to hold the space—to be in the space with your teen—before that can happen.Sarah: One thing that you mentioned in the book is that there's a link between sensitivity and impulsivity. Can you talk about that? I found that really interesting. Why is that?Katie: When someone is more biologically sensitive—again, there's this urge to make those emotions go away. And so when you are more overwhelmed with emotions, the idea of impulsivity makes more sense, because the desire and need for short-term relief is higher than it may be in others.And so when my emotions are really big, I also have really big urges to make those emotions go away, and it's harder for me to hold these big emotions.Sarah: That was really helpful. If you could have the parents and teens that you work with currently—if you could have had them ten years ago, because a lot of people who listen to the podcast have younger kids and they don't have teenagers—what would you like them to be practicing or working on? Is there anything preventive that you've noticed, that if people had an awareness earlier on, when their kids were younger, they might not get to this point with teenagers?Katie: Absolutely. What I find myself saying often is: parents go first. And what I mean by that is that it is a parent's job to learn emotion regulation skills, to learn how to notice and name emotions, to learn how to validate—essentially to model all of the ways that we handle really big emotions.So that when our teen is having this experience—or our child growing into our teen is having this experience—we have the skills to manage our own emotions and we know how to respond to their emotions, because that validation helps the emotion go down more quickly.When I'm working with younger children—and I don't anymore—but that is part of the process: we're working with parents first for many weeks to give them the skills before we even start working with the child.So that would be my biggest piece of advice for parents of younger children: practice the skills, know how to manage your own emotions, have your own support.And I will add to that: if you had the experience of being parented in a way that was painful for you as a child, address those issues, because they're going to show up in the teen years. In the opposite way, you're going to feel like it's karma, but it's really just generational patterns continuing—and you want to be able to change those patterns and rewrite stories that were painful for you so they don't repeat with your own teen.Sarah: I love that. It's interesting because I think when kids are little, fire feelers don't develop as teenagers, right? Like a fire feeler is a fire feeler whether they're five or whether they're fifteen. But a five-year-old—you can put them in their room and hold the door shut. Not that I'm advocating that. You can pick them up and move them places. I think parents probably—unless they're more aware of emotions and being, in my brand, a peaceful parent—they probably rely on things that then, as their kids get older, just don't work. But they maybe have missed opportunities to practice all the things that are effective as teenagers because they were relying more on external control when their kids were younger.Katie: I one hundred percent agree. I think coercive control is easier to implement when your child is younger. But practicing validation, direct communication, emotion regulation is going to pave the way for more success as a teen.And what I would say is: I think most parents recognize, when I talk about this idea of fire feelers, when they have a three-year-old. I have a sister who has two toddler girls, and she'll say, “I think they're fire feelers,” and they are.And so you know your kid. You know their disposition. You know when they're more sensitive or they're a deep feeler. And so knowing that now can help you pave the way for what's to come.Sarah: Can you speak briefly on—when I was a teenager in the eighties, there was a “tough love” approach for teens who were having a hard time: drugs and alcohol, not going to school. And the approach was like: crack down. Kick them out if they don't follow your rules. I'm pretty sure that's not what you would advocate for.And I do think there has been a shift because people recognize that doesn't work. So maybe if you could speak to that for a few minutes—why getting more strict and more controlling with a teenager who's having a hard time isn't going to be an effective strategy.Katie: I have two thoughts on that: one is about the teen, and one is about the relationship.So when we think about a teenager who's struggling, who has these big emotions, if the message in the family is, “You're too sensitive. Just suck it up. Just get it together. Why can't you do this like your siblings can?”—what happens over time is they internalize that message as, “There must be something wrong with me, that everyone else around me can do this and I can't.”And so they begin to lose trust in their own emotional experience, in their own emotion meter. And that is one of the contributors to self-harm behaviors, because then when an emotion shows up for them, their brain thinks, “Well, this must be wrong.” Everyone keeps telling me that my emotional state is the wrong thing or it's too intense, so let's make that go away quickly so that I can continue to function in my life.What I'll say is: at my center, we see hundreds of kids every week—teens and families. A lot of them are these high-achieving, perfectionistic, private-school kids, and they're self-harming and they're suicidal. And one of the reasons is that that's a strategy that keeps them going in this life that is expected of them.So I want to be really intentional about broadening the picture that we may have of the type of teen who engages in self-harm.The other side of that—the relational piece—is that when the parent is consistently giving this message of, “Just get it together. Suck it up and keep going,” it creates a rift in the relationship. The parent is no longer a safe person to come to when a teen is struggling, because they're not going to get what they need.And so if it's important for a parent to have a strong relationship with a teen—and I think that is for most parents—we need to learn the strategies that welcome open communication, that are able to hold that struggle, so that teens come to us with the little stuff and the big stuff.And I'll add to that: so that teens want to stay connected to us after they leave home.Sarah: Yeah, that makes so much sense. Before I let you go, there's a question I ask all my guests, which is: if you could go back in time to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Katie: To my younger parent self? I think what I would say is that it doesn't have to be perfect. And that's something that I learned through my own education and the theory of good-enough parenting: that you only really need to get it right twenty percent of the time, and the rest of the time it's how you repair, how you respond, and how you keep moving forward in the most loving and compassionate way for both you and your child. So that would help take the pressure off—both for younger me and also for probably a lot of other parents out there—that you don't have to get it right all the time. You just have to want to keep going and want to keep trying to get it right.Sarah: Nice. Where's the best place for folks to go and find out more about you and what you do?Katie: Yeah. To grab a free chapter of my book, You're On Fire. It's Fine, you can go to youreonfireitsfine.com. And for a therapist or media listening, katiekmay.com has all of my other projects and my counseling center and endeavors there.Sarah: Wonderful. Thank you so much, Katie.Katie: Thank you This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Are you constantly seeking validation from your wife, friends, social media, coworkers, or even your church? The truth is, the need for validation is one of the most dangerous traps destroying Christian marriages, weakening men, and pulling believers away from their true identity in Christ.In this episode of High Level Husband, Tommy exposes the validation trap and how approval-seeking leads to insecurity, people-pleasing, resentment, emotional weakness, and spiritual compromise. Many husbands don't realize that chasing affirmation from others slowly erodes leadership, damages trust in marriage, and creates emotional dependency instead of godly confidence.This teaching breaks down how validation addiction shows up in marriage, faith, work, social media, and friendships — and why it blocks intimacy, respect, and spiritual authority. You'll learn how to shift from approval-seeking to God-confidence, biblical identity, and secure leadership as a Christian husband.If you want to become a stronger man of God, lead your marriage with conviction, build unshakable confidence, and stop needing permission from people to be who God called you to be, this episode will challenge you deeply.Stop chasing validation. Start walking in identity.Desire to be a High Level Husband who is on Fire, Free, and Followed? Click the link belowhttps://www.highlevelhusband.com/bmr-blueprint

Healthcare innovation still loves elegant stories. Unfortunately, elegant stories don't get funded when budgets are constrained. For years, the industry has relied on value narratives that sound reasonable but collapse under scrutiny. The most common failure is distance in the value chain. They often sound like: “If imaging quality improves, outcomes improve. If outcomes improve, costs go down.” Each step may be directionally true, but between the first link and the last sit dozens of confounding variables, including physician behavior, care pathways, payer policy, patient compliance, downstream utilization, andtime. When value depends on all of them lining up, it is not value; it is a wish.

Ambient documentation is becoming normal in clinics. But the most interesting “voice” capability may not be transcription at all.In the latest episode of Faces of Digital Health, Henry O'Connell (Canary Speech) explains why voice biomarkers stalled for decades: the field analyzed words, not the neurological signal behind speech production.Canary's approach focuses on the “primary data layer”—how the central nervous system drives respiration, vocal cord vibration, and articulation in real conversational speech. A few details that stood out: ⏱️ ~45 seconds of conversation can be enough for assessment

What if imposter syndrome is actually a sign you're on the right track?Unpacks how feeling like a fraud often comes from being new, not being unqualifiedExplains why ethical, self-aware people are more likely to struggle with imposter syndromeShares personal stories from early speaking gigs and coaching experiencesHighlights how novelty in your environment can trigger doubt, even if your skill set is solidOffers a powerful reframe to help you move forward without waiting for external validationLinks:

Can you "turn off" a narcissist with one calm sentence? Tony unpacks the viral "narcissistic off switch" concept and discovers why tactics alone won't save you—but they might be exactly where real transformation begins. After stumbling upon behavioral expert Chase Hughes' framework for disarming manipulation using FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt), Tony initially resisted the idea. It felt too simple. But when he traced the concept back to its source, something shifted. The off switch isn't about changing them—it's about stopping the erosion of you. Through raw client stories and David Schnarch's differentiation work, Tony reveals why awareness doesn't land as insight to the emotionally immature—it lands as exposure. And exposure is a threat. What you'll learn: Recognize when FOG and CAVA (Control, Approval, Validation, Attention) are being used against you Understand why naming manipulation often backfires in deeply bonded relationships Apply Schnarch's four points of balance to stay grounded during accusations Stop defending a "reflected sense of self" and start building one that's truly yours Embrace outcome independence—saying your truth without needing their agreement Drawing from 20+ years as a marriage and family therapist specializing in emotionally immature dynamics, Tony bridges tactical awareness with the deeper work of differentiation. 00:00 Introduction and Social Media Plugs 01:11 The Lost Episode: Narcissistic Off Switch 05:27 Chase Hughes and the Concept of Prediction 16:11 Understanding Manipulation: FOG and KAVA 18:33 Real-Life Examples: Navigating Emotional Manipulation 28:46 Understanding Unhealthy Responses 29:24 The Power of Differentiated Response 30:18 Challenges in Relationships 30:42 Contrasting Views on Manipulation 32:09 Real-Life Examples of Manipulation 37:22 The Concept of Differentiation 43:35 Projection and Emotional Immaturity 46:50 The Four Points of Balance 50:53 Gridlock and Constructing Your Crucible 54:22 Final Thoughts on Emotional Autonomy Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group. And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line. To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Digital health is moving at AI speed, but evidence generation is still stuck in the past. In this episode, StartUp Health co-founder Unity Stoakes sits down with StartUp Health community member Robin Roberts, CEO & Founder of datosX Digital Health Labs, to explore how validation can become a catalyst for real-world adoption rather than a bottleneck. Drawing on his experience building the Novartis Biome and spinning datosX out of it, Robin explains why traditional CRO models no longer meet the needs of modern digital health and AI-powered solutions. Together, they discuss how datosX is helping innovators generate regulatory-grade, buyer-credible evidence while unlocking pilots and commercial traction with leading health systems. In this conversation, you will learn: Why digital health companies cannot afford to wait 18 months for validation How datosX pairs innovators with tier-1 health systems to run validation studies that double as pilots What makes the datosX model 30–60% faster and up to 8–10× more cost-effective than legacy CROs How real-world data and retrospective studies accelerate proof and decision-making Why evidence, adoption, and trust must be built together How the upcoming EVIDIA platform is turning global digital health trial knowledge into AI-powered intelligence This episode is a must-listen for founders, health system leaders, investors, and partners working to bring validated, trustworthy health innovation to market faster. Are you ready to tell YOUR story? Members of our Health Moonshot Communities are leading startups with breakthrough technology-driven solutions for the world's biggest health challenges. Exposure in StartUp Health Media to our global audience of investors and partners – including our podcast, newsletters, magazine, and YouTube channel – is a benefit of our Health Moonshot PRO Membership. To schedule a call and see if you qualify to join and increase brand awareness through our multi-media storytelling efforts, submit our three-minute application. If you're mission-driven, collaborative, and ready to contribute as much as you gain, you might be the perfect fit. » Learn more and apply today. Want more content like this? Sign up for StartUp Health Insider™ to get funding insights, news, and special updates delivered to your inbox.

What if the most transformative thing you can do for your writing craft and author business is to face what you fear? How can you can find gold in your Shadow in the year ahead? In this episode, I share chapters from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words. In the intro, curated book boxes from Bridgerton's Julia Quinn; Google's agentic shopping, and powering Apple's Siri; ChatGPT Ads; and Claude CoWork. Balancing Certainty and Uncertainty [MoonShots with Tony Robbins]; and three trends for authors with me and Orna Ross [Self-Publishing with ALLi Podcast]; plus, Bones of the Deep, Business for Authors, and Indie Author Lab. This show is supported by my Patrons. Join my Community at Patreon.com/thecreativepenn  Joanna Penn writes non-fiction for authors and is an award-winning, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of thrillers, dark fantasy, and memoir as J.F. Penn. She's also an award-winning podcaster, creative entrepreneur, and international professional speaker. What is the Shadow? The ‘creative wound' and the Shadow in writing The Shadow in traditional publishing The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author The Shadow in work The Shadow in money You can find Writing the Shadow in all formats on all stores, as well as special edition, workbook and bundles at www.TheCreativePenn.com/shadowbook Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words The following chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn. Introduction. What is the Shadow? “How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.” —C.G. Jung, Modern Man in Search of a Soul We all have a Shadow side and it is the work of a lifetime to recognise what lies within and spin that base material into gold. Think of it as a seedling in a little pot that you're given when you're young. It's a bit misshapen and weird, not something you would display in your living room, so you place it in a dark corner of the basement. You don't look at it for years. You almost forget about it. Then one day you notice tendrils of something wild poking up through the floorboards. They're ugly and don't fit with your Scandi-minimalist interior design. You chop the tendrils away and pour weedkiller on what's left, trying to hide the fact that they were ever there. But the creeping stems keep coming. At some point, you know you have to go down there and face the wild thing your seedling has become. When you eventually pluck up enough courage to go down into the basement, you discover that the plant has wound its roots deep into the foundations of your home. Its vines weave in and out of the cracks in the walls, and it has beautiful flowers and strange fruit. It holds your world together. Perhaps you don't need to destroy the wild tendrils. Perhaps you can let them wind up into the light and allow their rich beauty to weave through your home. It will change the look you have so carefully cultivated, but maybe that's just what the place needs. The Shadow in psychology Carl Gustav Jung was a Swiss psychologist and the founder of analytical psychology. He described the Shadow as an unconscious aspect of the human personality, those parts of us that don't match up to what is expected of us by family and society, or to our own ideals. The Shadow is not necessarily evil or illegal or immoral, although of course it can be. It's also not necessarily caused by trauma, abuse, or any other severely damaging event, although again, it can be. It depends on the individual. What is in your Shadow is based on your life and your experiences, as well as your culture and society, so it will be different for everyone. Psychologist Connie Zweig, in The Inner Work of Age, explains, “The Shadow is that part of us that lies beneath or behind the light of awareness. It contains our rejected, unacceptable traits and feelings. It contains our hidden gifts and talents that have remained unexpressed or unlived. As Jung put it, the essence of the Shadow is pure gold.” To further illustrate the concept, Robert Bly, in A Little Book on the Human Shadow,uses the following metaphor: “When we are young, we carry behind us an invisible bag, into which we stuff any feelings, thoughts, or behaviours that bring disapproval or loss of love—anger, tears, neediness, laziness. By the time we go to school, our bags are already a mile long. In high school, our peer groups pressure us to stuff the bags with even more—individuality, sexuality, spontaneity, different opinions. We spend our life until we're twenty deciding which parts of ourselves to put into the bag and we spend the rest of our lives trying to get them out again.” As authors, we can use what's in the ‘bag' to enrich our writing — but only if we can access it. My intention with this book is to help you venture into your Shadow and bring some of what's hidden into the light and into your words. I'll reveal aspects of my Shadow in these pages but ultimately, this book is about you. Your Shadow is unique. There may be elements we share, but much will be different. Each chapter has questions for you to consider that may help you explore at least the edges of your Shadow, but it's not easy. As Jung said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” But take heart, Creative. You don't need courage when things are easy. You need it when you know what you face will be difficult, but you do it anyway. We are authors. We know how to do hard things. We turn ideas into books. We manifest thoughts into ink on paper. We change lives with our writing. First, our own, then other people's. It's worth the effort to delve into Shadow, so I hope you will join me on the journey. The creative wound and the Shadow in writing “Whatever pain you can't get rid of, make it your creative offering.” —Susan Cain, Bittersweet  The more we long for something, the more extreme our desire, the more likely it is to have a Shadow side. For those of us who love books, the author life may well be a long-held dream and thus, it is filled with Shadow. Books have long been objects of desire, power, and authority. They hold a mythic status in our lives. We escaped into stories as children; we studied books at school and college; we read them now for escape and entertainment, education and inspiration. We collect beautiful books to put on our shelves. We go to them for solace and answers to the deepest questions of life. Writers are similarly held in high esteem. They shape culture, win literary prizes, give important speeches, and are quoted in the mainstream media. Their books are on the shelves in libraries and bookstores. Writers are revered, held up as rare, talented creatures made separate from us by their brilliance and insight. For bibliophile children, books were everything and to write one was a cherished dream. To become an author? Well, that would mean we might be someone special, someone worthy. Perhaps when you were young, you thought the dream of being a writer was possible — then you told someone about it. That's probably when you heard the first criticism of such a ridiculous idea, the first laughter, the first dismissal. So you abandoned the dream, pushed the idea of being a writer into the Shadow, and got on with your life. Or if it wasn't then, it came later, when you actually put pen to paper and someone — a parent, teacher, partner, or friend, perhaps even a literary agent or publisher, someone whose opinion you valued — told you it was worthless. Here are some things you might have heard: Writing is a hobby. Get a real job. You're not good enough. You don't have any writing talent. You don't have enough education. You don't know what you're doing. Your writing is derivative / unoriginal / boring / useless / doesn't make sense. The genre you write in is dead / worthless / unacceptable / morally wrong / frivolous / useless.  Who do you think you are? No one would want to read what you write. You can't even use proper grammar, so how could you write a whole book? You're wasting your time. You'll never make it as a writer. You shouldn't write those things (or even think about those things). Why don't you write something nice? Insert other derogatory comment here! Mark Pierce describes the effect of this experience in his book The Creative Wound, which “occurs when an event, or someone's actions or words, pierce you, causing a kind of rift in your soul. A comment—even offhand and unintentional—is enough to cause one.” He goes on to say that such words can inflict “damage to the core of who we are as creators. It is an attack on our artistic identity, resulting in us believing that whatever we make is somehow tainted or invalid, because shame has convinced us there is something intrinsically tainted or invalid about ourselves.” As adults, we might brush off such wounds, belittling them as unimportant in the grand scheme of things. We might even find ourselves saying the same words to other people. After all, it's easier to criticise than to create. But if you picture your younger self, bright eyed as you lose yourself in your favourite book, perhaps you might catch a glimpse of what you longed for before your dreams were dashed on the rocks of other people's reality. As Mark Pierce goes on to say, “A Creative Wound has the power to delay our pursuits—sometimes for years—and it can even derail our lives completely… Anything that makes us feel ashamed of ourselves or our work can render us incapable of the self-expression we yearn for.” This is certainly what happened to me, and it took decades to unwind. Your creative wounds will differ to mine but perhaps my experience will help you explore your own. To be clear, your Shadow may not reside in elements of horror as mine do, but hopefully you can use my example to consider where your creative wounds might lie. “You shouldn't write things like that.” It happened at secondary school around 1986 or 1987, so I would have been around eleven or twelve years old. English was one of my favourite subjects and the room we had our lessons in looked out onto a vibrant garden. I loved going to that class because it was all about books, and they were always my favourite things. One day, we were asked to write a story. I can't remember the specifics of what the teacher asked us to write, but I fictionalised a recurring nightmare. I stood in a dark room. On one side, my mum and my brother, Rod, were tied up next to a cauldron of boiling oil, ready to be thrown in. On the other side, my dad and my little sister, Lucy, were threatened with decapitation by men with machetes. I had to choose who would die. I always woke up, my heart pounding, before I had to choose. Looking back now, it clearly represented an internal conflict about having to pick sides between the two halves of my family. Not an unexpected issue from a child of divorce. Perhaps these days, I might have been sent to the school counsellor, but it was the eighties and I don't think we even had such a thing. Even so, the meaning of the story isn't the point. It was the reaction to it that left scars. “You shouldn't write things like that,” my teacher said, and I still remember her look of disappointment, even disgust. Certainly judgment. She said my writing was too dark. It wasn't a proper story. It wasn't appropriate for the class. As if horrible things never happened in stories — or in life. As if literature could not include dark tales. As if the only acceptable writing was the kind she approved of. We were taught The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie that year, which says a lot about the type of writing considered appropriate. Or perhaps the issue stemmed from the school motto, “So hateth she derknesse,” from Chaucer's The Legend of Good Women: “For fear of night, so she hates the darkness.” I had won a scholarship to a private girls' school, and their mission was to turn us all into proper young ladies. Horror was never on the curriculum. Perhaps if my teacher had encouraged me to write my darkness back then, my nightmares would have dissolved on the page. Perhaps if we had studied Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, or H.P. Lovecraft stories, or Bram Stoker's Dracula, I could have embraced the darker side of literature earlier in my life. My need to push darker thoughts into my Shadow was compounded by my (wonderful) mum's best intentions. We were brought up on the principles of The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and she tried to shield me and my brother from anything harmful or horrible. We weren't allowed to watch TV much, and even the British school drama Grange Hill was deemed inappropriate. So much of what I've achieved is because my mum instilled in me a “can do” attitude that anything is possible. I'm so grateful to her for that. (I love you, Mum!) But all that happy positivity, my desire to please her, to be a good girl, to make my teachers proud, and to be acceptable to society, meant that I pushed my darker thoughts into Shadow. They were inappropriate. They were taboo. They must be repressed, kept secret, and I must be outwardly happy and positive at all times. You cannot hold back the darkness “The night is dark and full of terrors.” —George R.R. Martin, A Storm of Swords It turned out that horror was on the curriculum, much of it in the form of educational films we watched during lessons. In English Literature, we watched Romeo drink poison and Juliet stab herself in Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet. In Religious Studies, we watched Jesus beaten, tortured, and crucified in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and learned of the variety of gruesome ways that Christian saints were martyred. In Classical Civilisation, we watched gladiators slaughter each other in Spartacus. In Sex Education at the peak of the AIDS crisis in the mid-'80s, we were told of the many ways we could get infected and die. In History, we studied the Holocaust with images of skeletal bodies thrown into mass graves, medical experiments on humans, and grainy videos of marching soldiers giving the Nazi salute. One of my first overseas school field trips was to the World War I battlegrounds of Flanders Fields in Belgium, where we studied the inhuman conditions of the trenches, walked through mass graves, and read war poetry by candlelight. As John McCrae wrote: We are the Dead. Short days agoWe lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,Loved and were loved, and now we lie, In Flanders fields. Did the teachers not realise how deeply a sensitive teenager might feel the darkness of that place? Or have I always been unusual in that places of blood echo deep inside me? And the horrors kept coming. We lived in Bristol, England back then and I learned at school how the city had been part of the slave trade, its wealth built on the backs of people stolen from their homes, sold, and worked to death in the colonies. I had been at school for a year in Malawi, Africa and imagined the Black people I knew drowning, being beaten, and dying on those ships. In my teenage years, the news was filled with ethnic cleansing, mass rape, and massacres during the Balkan wars, and images of bodies hacked apart during the Rwandan genocide. Evil committed by humans against other humans was not a historical aberration. I'm lucky and I certainly acknowledge my privilege. Nothing terrible or horrifying has happened to me — but bad things certainly happen to others. I wasn't bullied or abused. I wasn't raped or beaten or tortured. But you don't have to go through things to be afraid of them, and for your imagination to conjure the possibility of them. My mum doesn't read my fiction now as it gives her nightmares (Sorry, Mum!). I know she worries that somehow she's responsible for my darkness, but I've had a safe and (mostly) happy life, for which I'm truly grateful. But the world is not an entirely safe and happy place, and for a sensitive child with a vivid imagination, the world is dark and scary. It can be brutal and violent, and bad things happen, even to good people. No parent can shield their child from the reality of the world. They can only help them do their best to live in it, develop resilience, and find ways to deal with whatever comes. Story has always been a way that humans have used to learn how to live and deal with difficult times. The best authors, the ones that readers adore and can't get enough of, write their darkness into story to channel their experience, and help others who fear the same. In an interview on writing the Shadow on The Creative Penn Podcast, Michaelbrent Collings shared how he incorporated a personally devastating experience into his writing:  “My wife and I lost a child years back, and that became the root of one of my most terrifying books, Apparition. It's not terrifying because it's the greatest book of all time, but just the concept that there's this thing out there… like a demon, and it consumes the blood and fear of the children, and then it withdraws and consumes the madness of the parents… I wrote that in large measure as a way of working through what I was experiencing.” I've learned much from Michaelbrent. I've read many of his (excellent) books and he's been on my podcast multiple times talking about his depression and mental health issues, as well as difficulties in his author career. Writing darkness is not in Michaelbrent's Shadow and only he can say what lies there for him. But from his example, and from that of other authors, I too learned how to write my Shadow into my books. Twenty-three years after that English lesson, in November 2009, I did NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, and wrote five thousand words of what eventually became Stone of Fire, my first novel. In the initial chapter, I burned a nun alive on the ghats of Varanasi on the banks of the Ganges River. I had watched the bodies burn by night on pyres from a boat bobbing in the current a few years before, and the image was still crystal clear in my mind. The only way to deal with how it made me feel about death was to write about it — and since then, I've never stopped writing. Returning to the nightmare from my school days, I've never had to choose between the two halves of my family, but the threat of losing them remains a theme in my fiction. In my ARKANE thriller series, Morgan Sierra will do anything to save her sister and her niece. Their safety drives her to continue to fight against evil. Our deepest fears emerge in our writing, and that's the safest place for them. I wish I'd been taught how to turn my nightmares into words back at school, but at least now I've learned to write my Shadow onto the page. I wish the same for you. The Shadow in traditional publishing If becoming an author is your dream, then publishing a book is deeply entwined with that. But as Mark Pierce says in The Creative Wound, “We feel pain the most where it matters the most… Desire highlights whatever we consider to be truly significant.” There is a lot of desire around publishing for those of us who love books! It can give you: Validation that your writing is good enough Status and credibility Acceptance by an industry held in esteem  The potential of financial reward and critical acclaim Support from a team of professionals who know how to make fantastic books A sense of belonging to an elite community Pride in achieving a long-held goal, resulting in a confidence boost and self-esteem Although not guaranteed, traditional publishing can give you all these things and more, but as with everything, there is a potential Shadow side. Denying it risks the potential of being disillusioned, disappointed, and even damaged. But remember, forewarned is forearmed, as the saying goes. Preparation can help you avoid potential issues and help you feel less alone if you encounter them. The myth of success… and the reality of experience There is a pervasive myth of success in the traditional publishing industry, perpetuated by media reporting on brand name and breakout authors, those few outliers whose experience is almost impossible to replicate. Because of such examples, many new traditionally published authors think that their first book will hit the top of the bestseller charts or win an award, as well as make them a million dollars — or at least a big chunk of cash. They will be able to leave their job, write in a beautiful house overlooking the ocean, and swan around the world attending conferences, while writing more bestselling books. It will be a charmed life. But that is not the reality. Perhaps it never was. Even so, the life of a traditionally published author represents a mythic career with the truth hidden behind a veil of obscurity. In April 2023, The Bookseller in the UK reported that “more than half of authors (54%) responding to a survey on their experiences of publishing their debut book have said the process negatively affected their mental health. Though views were mixed, just 22%… described a positive experience overall… Among the majority who said they had a negative experience of debut publication, anxiety, stress, depression and ‘lowered' self-esteem were cited, with lack of support, guidance or clear and professional communication from their publisher among the factors that contributed.” Many authors who have negative experiences around publishing will push them into the Shadow with denial or self-blame, preferring to keep the dream alive. They won't talk about things in public as this may negatively affect their careers, but private discussions are often held in the corners of writing conferences or social media groups online. Some of the issues are as follows: Repeated rejection by agents and publishers may lead to the author thinking they are not good enough as a writer, which can lead to feeling unworthy as a person. If an author gets a deal, the amount of advance and the name and status of the publisher compared to others create a hierarchy that impacts self-esteem. A deal for a book may be much lower than an author might have been expecting, with low or no advance, and the resulting experience with the publisher beneath expectations. The launch process may be disappointing, and the book may appear without fanfare, with few sales and no bestseller chart position. In The Bookseller report, one author described her launch day as “a total wasteland… You have expectations about what publication day will be like, but in reality, nothing really happens.” The book may receive negative reviews by critics or readers or more publicly on social media, which can make an author feel attacked. The book might not sell as well as expected, and the author may feel like it's their fault. Commercial success can sometimes feel tied to self-worth and an author can't help but compare their sales to others, with resulting embarrassment or shame. The communication from the publisher may be less than expected. One author in The Bookseller report said, “I was shocked by the lack of clarity and shared information and the cynicism that underlies the superficial charm of this industry.” There is often more of a focus on debut authors in publishing houses, so those who have been writing and publishing in the midlist for years can feel ignored and undervalued. In The Bookseller report, 48 percent of authors reported “their publisher supported them for less than a year,” with one saying, “I got no support and felt like a commodity, like the team had moved on completely to the next book.” If an author is not successful enough, the next deal may be lower than the last, less effort is made with marketing, and they may be let go. In The Bookseller report, “six authors—debut and otherwise—cited being dropped by their publisher, some with no explanation.” Even if everything goes well and an author is considered successful by others, they may experience imposter syndrome, feeling like a fraud when speaking at conferences or doing book signings. And the list goes on … All these things can lead to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and embarrassment; loss of status in the eyes of peers; and a sense of failure if a publishing career is not successful enough. The author feels like it's their fault, like they weren't good enough — although, of course, the reality is that the conditions were not right at the time. A failure of a book is not a failure of the person, but it can certainly feel like it! When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Despite all the potential negatives of traditional publishing, if you know what could happen, you can mitigate them. You can prepare yourself for various scenarios and protect yourself from potential fall-out. It's clear from The Bookseller report that too many authors have unrealistic expectations of the industry. But publishers are businesses, not charities. It's not their job to make you feel good as an author. It's their job to sell books and pay you. The best thing they can do is to continue to be a viable business so they can keep putting books on the shelves and keep paying authors, staff, and company shareholders. When you license your creative work to a publisher, you're giving up control of your intellectual property in exchange for money and status. Bring your fears and issues out of the Shadow, acknowledge them, and deal with them early, so they do not get pushed down and re-emerge later in blame and bitterness. Educate yourself on the business of publishing. Be clear on what you want to achieve with any deal. Empower yourself as an author, take responsibility for your career, and you will have a much better experience. The Shadow in self-publishing or being an indie author Self-publishing, or being an independent (indie) author, can be a fantastic, pro-active choice for getting your book into the world. Holding your first book in your hand and saying “I made this” is pretty exciting, and even after more than forty books, I still get excited about seeing ideas in my head turn into a physical product in the world. Self-publishing can give an author: Creative control over what to write, editorial and cover design choices, when and how often to publish, and how to market Empowerment over your author career and the ability to make choices that impact success without asking for permission Ownership and control of intellectual property assets, resulting in increased opportunity around licensing and new markets Independence and the potential for recurring income for the long term Autonomy and flexibility around timelines, publishing options, and the ability to easily pivot into new genres and business models Validation based on positive reader reviews and money earned Personal growth and learning through the acquisition of new skills, resulting in a boost in confidence and self-esteem A sense of belonging to an active and vibrant community of indie authors around the world Being an indie author can give you all this and more, but once again, there is a Shadow side and preparation can help you navigate potential issues. The myth of success… and the reality of experience As with traditional publishing, the indie author world has perpetuated a myth of success in the example of the breakout indie author like E.L. James with Fifty Shades of Grey, Hugh Howey with Wool, or Andy Weir with The Martian. The emphasis on financial success is also fuelled online by authors who share screenshots showing six-figure months or seven-figure years, without sharing marketing costs and other outgoings, or the amount of time spent on the business. Yes, these can inspire some, but it can also make others feel inadequate and potentially lead to bad choices about how to publish and market based on comparison. The indie author world is full of just as much ego and a desire for status and money as traditional publishing. This is not a surprise! Most authors, regardless of publishing choices, are a mix of massive ego and chronic self-doubt. We are human, so the same issues will re-occur. A different publishing method doesn't cure all ills. Some of the issues are as follows: You learn everything you need to know about writing and editing, only to find that you need to learn a whole new set of skills in order to self-publish and market your book. This can take a lot of time and effort you did not expect, and things change all the time so you have to keep learning. Being in control of every aspect of the publishing process, from writing to cover design to marketing, can be overwhelming, leading to indecision, perfectionism, stress, and even burnout as you try to do all the things. You try to find people to help, but building your team is a challenge, and working with others has its own difficulties. People say negative things about self-publishing that may arouse feelings of embarrassment or shame. These might be little niggles, but they needle you, nonetheless. You wonder whether you made the right choice. You struggle with self-doubt and if you go to an event with traditional published authors, you compare yourself to them and feel like an imposter. Are you good enough to be an author if a traditional publisher hasn't chosen you? Is it just vanity to self-publish? Are your books unworthy? Even though you worked with a professional editor, you still get one-star reviews and you hate criticism from readers. You wonder whether you're wasting your time. You might be ripped off by an author services company who promise the world, only to leave you with a pile of printed books in your garage and no way to sell them. When you finally publish your book, it languishes at the bottom of the charts while other authors hit the top of the list over and over, raking in the cash while you are left out of pocket. You don't admit to over-spending on marketing as it makes you ashamed. You resist book marketing and make critical comments about writers who embrace it. You believe that quality rises to the top and if a book is good enough, people will buy it anyway. This can lead to disappointment and disillusionment when you launch your book and it doesn't sell many copies because nobody knows about it. You try to do what everyone advises, but you still can't make decent money as an author. You're jealous of other authors' success and put it down to them ‘selling out' or writing things you can't or ‘using AI' or ‘using a ghostwriter' or having a specific business model you consider impossible to replicate. And the list goes on… When you acknowledge the Shadow, it loses its power Being in control of your books and your author career is a double-edged sword. Traditionally published authors can criticise their publishers or agents or the marketing team or the bookstores or the media, but indie authors have to take responsibility for it all. Sure, we can blame ‘the algorithms' or social media platforms, or criticise other authors for having more experience or more money to invest in marketing, or attribute their success to writing in a more popular genre — but we also know there are always people who do well regardless of the challenges. Once more, we're back to acknowledging and integrating the Shadow side of our choices. We are flawed humans. There will always be good times and bad, and difficulties to offset the high points. This too shall pass, as the old saying goes. I know that being an indie author has plenty of Shadow. I've been doing this since 2008 and despite the hard times, I'm still here. I'm still writing. I'm still publishing. This life is not for everyone, but it's my choice. You must make yours. The Shadow in work You work hard. You make a living. Nothing wrong with that attitude, right? It's what we're taught from an early age and, like so much of life, it's not a problem until it goes to extremes. Not achieving what you want to? Work harder. Can't get ahead? Work harder. Not making a good enough living? Work harder. People who don't work hard are lazy. They don't deserve handouts or benefits. People who don't work hard aren't useful, so they are not valued members of our culture and community. But what about the old or the sick, the mentally ill, or those with disabilities? What about children? What about the unemployed? The under-employed? What about those who are — or will be — displaced by technology, those called “the useless class” by historian Yuval Noah Harari in his book Homo Deus? What if we become one of these in the future? Who am I if I cannot work? The Shadow side of my attitude to work became clear when I caught COVID in the summer of 2021. I was the sickest I'd ever been. I spent two weeks in bed unable to even think properly, and six weeks after that, I was barely able to work more than an hour a day before lying in the dark and waiting for my energy to return. I was limited in what I could do for another six months after that. At times, I wondered if I would ever get better. Jonathan kept urging me to be patient and rest. But I don't know how to rest. I know how to work and how to sleep. I can do ‘active rest,' which usually involves walking a long way or traveling somewhere interesting, but those require a stronger mind and body than I had during those months. It struck me that even if I recovered from the virus, I had glimpsed my future self. One day, I will be weak in body and mind. If I'm lucky, that will be many years away and hopefully for a short time before I die — but it will happen. I am an animal. I will die. My body and mind will pass on and I will be no more. Before then I will be weak. Before then, I will be useless. Before then, I will be a burden. I will not be able to work… But who am I if I cannot work? What is the point of me? I can't answer these questions right now, because although I recognise them as part of my Shadow, I've not progressed far enough to have dealt with them entirely. My months of COVID gave me some much-needed empathy for those who cannot work, even if they want to. We need to reframe what work is as a society, and value humans for different things, especially as technology changes what work even means. That starts with each of us. “Illness, affliction of body and soul, can be life-altering. It has the potential to reveal the most fundamental conflict of the human condition: the tension between our infinite, glorious dreams and desires and our limited, vulnerable, decaying physicality.” —Connie Zweig, The Inner Work of Age: Shifting from Role to Soul The Shadow in money In the Greek myth, King Midas was a wealthy ruler who loved gold above all else. His palace was adorned with golden sculptures and furniture, and he took immense pleasure in his riches. Yet, despite his vast wealth, he yearned for more. After doing a favour for Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry, Midas was granted a single wish. Intoxicated by greed, he wished that everything he touched would turn to gold — and it was so. At first, it was a lot of fun. Midas turned everything else in his palace to gold, even the trees and stones of his estate. After a morning of turning things to gold, he fancied a spot of lunch. But when he tried to eat, the food and drink turned to gold in his mouth. He became thirsty and hungry — and increasingly desperate. As he sat in despair on his golden throne, his beloved young daughter ran to comfort him. For a moment, he forgot his wish — and as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek, she turned into a golden statue, frozen in precious metal. King Midas cried out to the gods to forgive him, to reverse the wish. He renounced his greed and gave away all his wealth, and his daughter was returned to life. The moral of the story: Wealth and greed are bad. In Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is described as a “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner.” He's wealthy but does not share, considering Christmas spending to be frivolous and giving to charity to be worthless. He's saved by a confrontation with his lonely future and becomes a generous man and benefactor of the poor. Wealth is good if you share it with others. The gospel of Matthew, chapter 25: 14-30, tells the parable of the bags of gold, in which a rich man goes on a journey and entrusts his servants with varying amounts of gold. On his return, the servants who multiplied the gold through their efforts and investments are rewarded, while the one who merely returned the gold with no interest is punished: “For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” Making money is good, making more money is even better. If you can't make any money, you don't deserve to have any. Within the same gospel, in Matthew 19:24, Jesus encounters a wealthy man and tells him to sell all his possessions and give the money to the poor, which the man is unable to do. Jesus says, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Wealth is bad. Give it all away and you'll go to heaven. With all these contradictory messages, no wonder we're so conflicted about money! How do you think and feel about money? While money is mostly tied to our work, it's far more than just a transactional object for most people. It's loaded with complex symbolism and judgment handed down by family, religion, and culture. You are likely to find elements of Shadow by examining your attitudes around money. Consider which of the following statements resonate with you or write your own. Money stresses me out. I don't want to talk about it or think about it. Some people hoard money, so there is inequality. Rich people are bad and we should take away their wealth and give it to the poor.  I can never make enough money to pay the bills, or to give my family what I want to provide. Money doesn't grow on trees.  It's wasteful to spend money as you might need it later, so I'm frugal and don't spend money unless absolutely necessary. It is better and more ethical to be poor than to be rich. I want more money. I read books and watch TV shows about rich people because I want to live like that. Sometimes I spend too much on things for a glimpse of what that might be like.  I buy lottery tickets and dream of winning all that money.  I'm jealous of people who have money. I want more of it and I resent those who have it. I'm no good with money. I don't like to look at my bank statement or credit card statement. I live off my overdraft and I'm in debt. I will never earn enough to get out of debt and start saving, so I don't think too much about it. I don't know enough about money. Talking about it makes me feel stupid, so I just ignore it. People like me aren't educated about money.  I need to make more money. If I can make lots of money, then people will look up to me. If I make lots of money, I will be secure, nothing can touch me, I will be safe.  I never want to be poor. I would be ashamed to be poor. I will never go on benefits. My net worth is my self worth. Money is good. We have the best standard of living in history because of the increase in wealth over time. Even the richest kings of the past didn't have what many middle-class people have today in terms of access to food, water, technology, healthcare, education, and more. The richest people give the most money to the poor through taxation and charity, as well as through building companies that employ people and invent new things. The very richest give away much of their fortunes. They provide far more benefit to the world than the poor.  I love money. Money loves me. Money comes easily and quickly to me. I attract money in multiple streams of income. It flows to me in so many ways. I spend money. I invest money. I give money. I'm happy and grateful for all that I receive. The Shadow around money for authors in particular Many writers and other creatives have issues around money and wealth. How often have you heard the following, and which do you agree with? You can't make money with your writing. You'll be a poor author in a garret, a starving artist.  You can't write ‘good quality' books and make money. If you make money writing, you're a hack, you're selling out. You are less worthy than someone who writes only for the Muse. Your books are commercial, not artistic. If you spend money on marketing, then your books are clearly not good enough to sell on their own. My agent / publisher / accountant / partner deals with the money side. I like to focus on the creative side of things. My money story Note: This is not financial or investment advice. Please talk to a professional about your situation. I've had money issues over the years — haven't we all! But I have been through a (long) process to bring money out of my Shadow and into the light. There will always be more to discover, but hopefully my money story will help you, or at least give you an opportunity to reflect. Like most people, I didn't grow up with a lot of money. My parents started out as teachers, but later my mum — who I lived with, along with my brother — became a change management consultant, moving to the USA and earning a lot more. I'm grateful that she moved into business because her example changed the way I saw money and provided some valuable lessons. (1) You can change your circumstances by learning more and then applying that to leverage opportunity into a new job or career Mum taught English at a school in Bristol when we moved back from Malawi, Africa, in the mid '80s but I remember how stressful it was for her, and how little money she made. She wanted a better future for us all, so she took a year out to do a master's degree in management. In the same way, when I wanted to change careers and leave consulting to become an author, I spent time and money learning about the writing craft and the business of publishing. I still invest a considerable chunk on continuous learning, as this industry changes all the time. (2) You might have to downsize in order to leap forward The year my mum did her degree, we lived in the attic of another family's house; we ate a lot of one-pot casserole and our treat was having a Yorkie bar on the walk back from the museum. We wore hand-me-down clothes, and I remember one day at school when another girl said I was wearing her dress. I denied it, of course, but there in back of the dress was her name tag. I still remember her name and I can still feel that flush of shame and embarrassment. I was determined to never feel like that again. But what I didn't realize at the time was that I was also learning the power of downsizing. Mum got her degree and then a new job in management in Bristol. She bought a house, and we settled for a few years. I had lots of different jobs as a teenager. My favourite was working in the delicatessen because we got a free lunch made from delicious produce. After I finished A-levels, I went to the University of Oxford, and my mum and brother moved to the USA for further opportunities. I've downsized multiple times over the years, taking a step back in order to take a step forward. The biggest was in 2010 when I decided to leave consulting. Jonathan and I sold our three-bedroom house and investments in Brisbane, Australia, and rented a one-bedroom flat in London, so we could be debt-free and live on less while I built up a new career. It was a decade before we bought another house. (3) Comparison can be deadly: there will always be people with more money than you Oxford was an education in many ways and relevant to this chapter is how much I didn't know about things people with money took for granted. I learned about formal hall and wine pairings, and how to make a perfect gin and tonic. I ate smoked salmon for the first time. I learned how to fit in with people who had a lot more money than I did, and I definitely wanted to have money of my own to play with. (4) Income is not wealth You can earn lots but have nothing to show for it after years of working. I learned this in my first few years of IT consulting after university. I earned a great salary and then went contracting, earning even more money at a daily rate. I had a wonderful time. I traveled, ate and drank and generally made merry, but I always had to go back to the day job when the money ran out. I couldn't work out how I could ever stop this cycle. Then I read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, a book I still recommend, especially if you're from a family that values academic over financial education. I learned how to escape the rat race by building and/or accumulating assets that pay even when you're not working. It was a revelation! The ‘poor dad' in the book is a university professor. He knows so much about so many things, but he ends up poor as he did not educate himself about money. The ‘rich dad' has little formal education, but he knows about money and wealth because he learned about it, as we can do at any stage in our lives. (5) Not all investments suit every person, so find the right one for you Once I discovered the world of investing, I read all the books and did courses and in-person events. I joined communities and I up-skilled big time. Of course, I made mistakes and learned lots along the way. I tried property investing and renovated a couple of houses for rental (with more practical partners and skilled contractors). But while I could see that property investing might work for some people, I did not care enough about the details to make it work for me, and it was certainly not passive income. I tried other things. My first husband was a boat skipper and scuba diving instructor, so we started a charter. With the variable costs of fuel, the vagaries of New Zealand weather — and our divorce — it didn't last long! From all these experiments, I learned I wanted to run a business, but it needed to be online and not based on a physical location, physical premises, or other people. That was 2006, around the time that blogging started taking off and it became possible to make a living online. I could see the potential and a year later, the iPhone and the Amazon Kindle launched, which became the basis of my business as an author. (6) Boring, automatic saving and investing works best Between 2007 and 2011, I contracted in Australia, where they have compulsory superannuation contributions, meaning you have to save and invest a percentage of your salary or self-employed income. I'd never done that before, because I didn't understand it. I'd ploughed all my excess income into property or the business instead. But in Australia I didn't notice the money going out because it was automatic. I chose a particular fund and it auto-invested every month. The pot grew pretty fast since I didn't touch it, and years later, it's still growing. I discovered the power of compound interest and time in the market, both of which are super boring. This type of investing is not a get rich quick scheme. It's a slow process of automatically putting money into boring investments and doing that month in, month out, year in, year out, automatically for decades while you get on with your life. I still do this. I earn money as an author entrepreneur and I put a percentage of that into boring investments automatically every month. I also have a small amount which is for fun and higher risk investments, but mostly I'm a conservative, risk-averse investor planning ahead for the future. This is not financial advice, so I'm not giving any specifics. I have a list of recommended money books at www.TheCreativePenn.com/moneybooks if you want to learn more. Learning from the Shadow When I look back, my Shadow side around money eventually drove me to learn more and resulted in a better outcome (so far!). I was ashamed of being poor when I had to wear hand-me-down clothes at school. That drove a fear of not having any money, which partially explains my workaholism. I was embarrassed at Oxford because I didn't know how to behave in certain settings, and I wanted to be like the rich people I saw there. I spent too much money in my early years as a consultant because I wanted to experience a “rich” life and didn't understand saving and investing would lead to better things in the future. I invested too much in the wrong things because I didn't know myself well enough and I was trying to get rich quick so I could leave my job and ‘be happy.' But eventually, I discovered that I could grow my net worth with boring, long-term investments while doing a job I loved as an author entrepreneur. My only regret is that I didn't discover this earlier and put a percentage of my income into investments as soon as I started work. It took several decades to get started, but at least I did (eventually) start. My money story isn't over yet, and I keep learning new things, but hopefully my experience will help you reflect on your own and avoid the issue if it's still in Shadow. These chapters are excerpted from Writing the Shadow: Turn Your Inner Darkness Into Words by Joanna Penn  The post Writing The Shadow: The Creative Wound, Publishing, And Money, With Joanna Penn first appeared on The Creative Penn.

Rae Alexandra Enos shares her transformative journey into somatics, exploring the deep connection between the body and mind. She discusses the importance of body awareness, emotional expression through movement, and the nuances of somatic practices compared to traditional exercise. Rae emphasizes the significance of understanding personal triggers, navigating people-pleasing tendencies, and the role of pain in emotional processing. The conversation highlights the necessity of creating a somatic lifestyle that fosters a deeper relationship with oneself, ultimately leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.Product Discount Codes + LinksRe-Align Your Life WorkshopJuna: Website (Discount Code: LEIGHANN)Broc Shot: Website (Discount Code: LEIGHANNLINDSEY)Hoolest: Website (Discount Code: THEACCRESCENT10)Episode LinksFree 45 Min Somatic Coaching Session with RaeGuest InfoRae Alexandra - WebsiteRae Alexandra - InstagramRelated EpisodesPodcast Ep. 203: Anna Finck - Reconnecting to Our Bodies, Reclaiming Our Health, and Remembering Our PowerPodcast Ep. 193: Britt Piper - Body-First Healing: Somatic Pathways to Trauma RecoveryWork w/Leigh AnnLearn: What is EVOX Therapy?Book: Schedule a Session or FREE Discovery CallMembership: What is The Healing Alchemy MembershipConnect w/Me & Learn MoreWebsiteInstagram

What if the reason you feel stuck isn't lack of claritybut the habit of waiting for someone else to say yes or approve, or validate, even if it's subconscious?What happens when you give your power away to external validation, approval from partners, mentors, institutions, or the crowd, and how that quiet surrender disconnects you from your inner authority.I speak from lived experience, from years in roles that rewarded certainty and obedience, and someone, like you, lured by views and clicks and likes and social proof, to the moments I chose to trust my inner knowing and expand beyond what felt safe or familiar.This is a conversation about reclaiming intuition, self-trust, and worth from the inside out. About learning to move when the answer is already in your body, before permission arrives.This is about you honoring your YES and what happens when you do, for real.Listen with your body. Let your dream speak. Make a decision.Oh and share this with someone you know could use this power in their lives right now.******❤️‍

You've been told to chase revenue, followers, and funnels. But what if the “rules” of business you've been following are the very ones keeping you stuck?In this deep, high-energy conversation, George is joined by Kyle Nelson and Eli Libby for a raw dismantling of the business myths that burn people out, and the truth that actually moves the needle.If you've ever felt like you're doing all the things but still spinning your wheels, this episode is your permission slip to break the rules, build what works, and remember who you are.This episode is a firestorm of clarity, conviction, and calling out the lies we unconsciously buy into as entrepreneurs. Kyle, Eli, and George go deep on the dangerous addiction to validation, why “doing more” is often a trauma response, and how real transformation requires truth over tactics.You'll walk away with a renewed understanding of your voice, your power, and how to build a business that serves people and fulfills you.What You'll Learn in This Episode:The hidden lies baked into online business cultureHow trauma shows up in business (and how to heal it)Why “scaling” is not always the next best moveThe trap of chasing applause instead of alignmentThe power of honest messaging and authentic leadershipHow to stop building for others and start building for yourself Key Takeaways:✔️Your truth will outperform your tactics, every time.✔️Validation is addictive. Freedom is built in silence.✔️You don't need more funnels. You need more you.✔️Stop outsourcing your value to external metrics.✔️When you stop lying to yourself, the game changes. Timestamps & Highlights:[00:00] – Welcome & setup: How this episode came to be[04:12] – Kyle on business trauma: When high-performers hide pain[09:45] – Eli shares: The lies that kept him stuck for years[15:25] – The “validation economy” and how it messes with your head[21:50] – Unlearning the rules: When doing less opens more doors[29:00] – Why truth is the best business strategy[35:45] – The illusion of “scale” and the lie of more[43:10] – Kyle's turning point: When enough was enough[50:20] – Eli on boundaries, trauma, and transformation[58:40] – Creating from truth vs performing for applause[1:06:10] – The power of messaging that comes from integrity[1:14:50] – Final reflections + What they're building now Connect with Eli & KyleWebsite: https://soloretreat.co/Instagram: @solo_retreat_coYouTube: @soloretreatKyle NelsonEli LibbyBook on AmazonYour Challenge This Week:Which business lie have you been believing?Tag George (@itsgeorgebryant), Kyle, or Eli (@solo_retreat_co) on Instagram and share your biggest “aha” moment from this episode. Start the conversation. Someone else needs to hear what you have to say.→ Ready to build a business that scales with connection, not burnout? Join The Relationship Beats Algorithms™ Alliance for weekly momentum and support.→ Want clarity and strategy tailored to you? Apply for 1:1 Coaching and grow with guidance, not guesswork.→ Be in the room where breakthroughs happen—explore upcoming retreats at mindofgeorge.com/retreat/

There is still time to look back on the Patriots' win over the Chargers which validates how Mike Vrabel has managed the offseason and regular season. What would a win over Houston do for the already-there validation for New England? Then, Robert Kraft will be in a great light if the Pats beat the Texans for his firing of Jerod Mayo and slam dunk hiring of Mike Vrabel. And, the defense seemingly carried the Pats in their win over the Chargers, but can they do it again versus Houston?

Blake Casteel opens up about his journey from a fear-driven father repeating generational patterns to becoming a man committed to authentic connection with his six children. Blake shares the pivotal moment when he realized his older kids weren't getting the best of him, and how he's been intentionally changing the "menu" of his fatherhood over the past six years. He challenges dads to stop blaming their wives and kids, to validate their children's identity rather than just correct behavior, and to rebel against the convenience culture that's weakening families. With raw honesty, Blake discusses his work with Youth With a Mission, using fitness as a tool for discipleship, and the life-changing impact of bringing everything hidden into the light. This episode will convict you, encourage you, and equip you to show up differently for your family starting today.---------Transform Your Body with Ned & RUK Fitness: RUK FitnessThis episode is sponsored by The Adventure of FatherhoodOrder The Adventure of Fatherhood children's book hereCheck out the TEDx----------Want to learn more about The Adventure of Fatherhood?https://www.adventureoffatherhood.com/https://www.rebelandcreate.com/Each week Ned sits down with a dad and asks him to open up his field notes and share with other men who find themselves on the Adventure of Fatherhood. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review!Follow us:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fatherhoodfieldnotesYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@FatherhoodfieldnotesFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/rebelandcreate

Do you find yourself becoming obsessed with people that are hot and cold towards you - while ignoring the people that are consistently available and there for you?Do you feel like your romantic relationship or even friendships are the focus of your entire world - and if there could be a problem in one of them - it's like your entire world is crumbling and you can't focus on anything else?Do you often feel jealous and on edge in relationships? Like your brain is just scanning for signs that you're about to be rejected?If so - you're likely stuck in the validation cycle - and I'm going to talk about why it's happening and how to finally create a different experience of relationships.Mentioned in the episode:Overcome Your Fear of Rejection - Free masterclass12 week group coaching programme - DETAILSContact me directly about 1:1 coaching opportunities

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Medboard: https://www.medboard.com/EuropeEMD Mag Issue 3 - For QA RA people: https://easymedicaldevice.com/emd-mag/EU to simplify MDR and IVDR - Proposal ongoing: https://health.ec.europa.eu/document/download/25e7ea7c-cab3-40cf-86d9-d11f5e7744d8_en?filename=md_com_2025-1023_act_en.pdf  -  https://ec.europa.eu/commission/presscorner/api/files/document/print/en/qanda_25_3078/QANDA_25_3078_EN.pdf  -  https://ec.europa.eu/commission/presscorner/api/files/attachment/882087/FACTSHEET%20medical%20devices%20final%20(1).pdfTeam NB Position Paper on Annex VII - Not agreeing all EU Proposal: https://www.team-nb.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Team-NB-PositionPaper-Annex-VII-V1-20251216.pdfMDCG 2025-9 Learn Breakthrough Devices BtX - Guidance for innovative products: https://health.ec.europa.eu/document/download/edca94c7-62ab-4dd5-8539-2b347bd14809_en?filename=mdcg_2025-9.pdfInfographic: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/melazzouzi_medtech-mdr-ivdr-activity-7414590943179202560-jbxH?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop&rcm=ACoAAABZ07ABDocaBMTLJo8bsl8V3bgNSBIiZuIMDCG 2025-10 on PMS - Learn how to do it with this guidance: https://health.ec.europa.eu/document/download/a9ad86b7-1b8e-4bae-beb4-48b2b3ed2f05_en?filename=mdcg_2025-10_en.pdfNotified Body Malta Conformity Assessment - 52nd Notified Body for MDR: https://webgate.ec.europa.eu/single-market-compliance-space/notified-bodies/notifications?organizationRefeCd=SIMS_INPUT_282916&filter=notificationStatusId:1  ServicesEasyIFU - Manage your eIFU and Labels: https://easyifu.com SwitzerlandSwissdamed registration deadline - July 1st 2026: https://www.swissmedic.ch/swissmedic/en/home/medical-devices/medizinprodukte-datenbank/swissdamed-informationen/frist-produktregistrierung-in-swissdamed.html - https://swissdamed-webinar.ch/#E402A0UKMHRA Price changing -: More cost for manufacturers: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/register-medical-devices-to-place-on-the-market#fees RoWFDA: How to use Real World Evidence - Guidance Document offered: https://www.fda.gov/regulatory-information/search-fda-guidance-documents/use-real-world-evidence-support-regulatory-decision-making-medical-devicesAustralia: Preparing for UDI and AusUDID - Checklist for preparation available: https://www.tga.gov.au/sites/default/files/2025-12/preparing-for-udi-in-australia-checklist_0.pdf PodcastPodcast Nostalgia - What was discussed lastly: Episode 367 - From Engineer to Clinical Evaluation Expert - Florian Tolkmitt: https://podcast.easymedicaldevice.com/367-2/Episode 368 - Simplifying EU MDR IVDR with Adam Isaacs Rae: https://podcast.easymedicaldevice.com/368-2/Episode 369 - Last Podcast of the Year: https://podcast.easymedicaldevice.com/369-2/Episode 370 - Verification & Validation with Aaron Joseph: https://podcast.easymedicaldevice.com/370-2/

High Functioning Depression looks like coping with depression by keeping busy and distracting yourself with overwork. Learn 5 ways to overcome depression in this interview w/ Dr. Judith Joseph Learn the skills to regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Learn more about Dr. Judith's work and book: https://drjudithjoseph.com/ https://highfunctioningbook.com/ In this conversation, Dr. Judith Joseph discusses high functioning depression, a condition where individuals appear to be functioning well on the outside while struggling internally. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing this hidden depression proactively rather than waiting for a crisis. Dr. Joseph introduces her framework of the Five V's—Validation, Venting, Values, Vitals, and Vision—as a way to help individuals reclaim their joy and improve their mental health. The discussion also touches on the significance of understanding personal happiness and making small, actionable changes to enhance well-being. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books  Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Pelvic health conditions affect millions of women, yet most are told to simply cope. In this conversation, StartUp Health community member Wendy Powell shares how she built MUTU System into a clinically validated digital platform that improves pelvic floor function, core strength, and overall quality of life. She explains what clinical validation really required, how MUTU maintains accessibility and equity, and why employers are embracing pelvic health as a productivity issue. You will also hear what is next as MUTU expands through health systems, enterprise partnerships, and new personalized pathways. A must listen for anyone working in women's health, digital therapeutics, or workplace wellbeing. Are you ready to tell YOUR story? Members of our Health Moonshot Communities are leading startups with breakthrough technology-driven solutions for the world's biggest health challenges. Exposure in StartUp Health Media to our global audience of investors and partners – including our podcast, newsletters, magazine, and YouTube channel – is a benefit of our Health Moonshot PRO Membership. To schedule a call and see if you qualify to join and increase brand awareness through our multi-media storytelling efforts, submit our three-minute application. If you're mission-driven, collaborative, and ready to contribute as much as you gain, you might be the perfect fit. » Learn more and apply today. Want more content like this? Sign up for StartUp Health Insider™ to get funding insights, news, and special updates delivered to your inbox.

We've been taught that pain requires a target. Someone hurt you, so you hurt them back. Someone triggers you, so you defend yourself. The cycle repeats until you're chronically inflamed and physiologically worn down.But what if the problem is that you're treating your nervous system like it has to fight every battle you're invited to?Pain is information. Inflammation is a signal. That tightness in your chest when you get a certain kind of text message is your body reporting that something needs attention. Not retaliation. Attention.The culture trains you to look outward for resolution. Closure from the person who hurt you. Validation from the person who triggered you. Apologies, explanations, admissions of guilt. But none of that actually heals the physiological response you're having in real time. None of it stops the cortisol. None of it regulates your nervous system.Self regulation means recognizing that lashing out when you're in pain just adds another layer of damage. Knowing this, healing yourself first becomes structurally necessary.This episode covers why modern serial dating creates repeated chemical bereavement, how to redirect attack energy into healing energy, and why the “little you” inside deserves protection even when no one else is listening.Full episode: So You're Living in a Simulation podcast. Available everywhere.https://www.joliartist.com/portal#selfregulation #nervousystem #trauma #moderndating #healing #inflammation #consciousness #mentalhealth

You just walked a patient through the perfect treatment plan. The clinical exam went smoothly. Your explanation was clear. The parent nodded along. Then you open the financial folder and watch their face change. “This feels like a lot of money.” Your stomach drops. Your mind races through rebuttals. You feel the conversation slipping away. Here’s what most treatment coordinators miss: that moment is not the problem. It’s the opportunity. Every objection you hear is a patient asking you to guide them through uncertainty. When you reframe resistance as a request for leadership, everything about your consults changes. Why Patient Objections Happen In Orthodontic Consultations Orthodontic treatment is not an impulse buy. It costs thousands of dollars. It takes months or years. It requires trust in someone who just met your family twenty minutes ago. If patients could confidently make five to seven thousand dollar healthcare decisions on their own, treatment coordinators would not exist. There would be no consult rooms. No case presentations. Patients would click “buy now” and show up for their first appointment. The fact that objections exist proves people need guidance. They want the outcome. They crave confidence. They’re asking you to help them feel safe moving forward. What sounds like resistance is actually uncertainty reaching for direction. When a parent says they need to think about it, they’re not saying no. They’re saying they don’t yet have enough emotional clarity to say yes. When someone mentions cost, they’re not attacking your fees. They’re asking you to bridge the gap between price and value in a way that makes sense for their family. Patient objections in dental practices surface because people care deeply about making the right choice. They care about their child’s smile. They care about their budget. They care about whether this decision will pay off years from now. That care creates anxiety, and anxiety creates questions that sound like obstacles. Your job is not to overcome those obstacles. Your job is to guide people through them. Free Growth Session The Mindset Shift That Transforms Case Acceptance Most orthodontic teams are taught to treat objections as barriers to crush. That language alone creates a fight you don’t need to have. Patients are not pushing back to say no. They’re reaching out for validation so they can say yes. They want to know their concern is normal. That other families have felt the same way. That their fear makes sense. That someone who does this every day understands the weight of the decision sitting in front of them. When a patient says, “This feels like a lot of money,” they’re not attacking your treatment plan pricing. They’re asking if this investment delivers results worth the sacrifice. When they say, “I need to talk to my spouse,” they’re not stalling. They’re honoring the fact that financial decisions this size require partnership. Shift from defending to guiding and watch the entire tone flip. The consult becomes collaborative instead of transactional. Patients lean in instead of pulling away. The energy in the room changes because you stopped treating their concern as a problem and started treating it as a signal. That signal tells you exactly what the patient needs to hear next. Listen for it. How Orthodontic Teams Accidentally Create Resistance Here’s the truth most teams miss: resistance rarely starts when the objection leaves their mouth. It begins earlier in the patient consultation process. Patients do not suddenly decide to object at the financial discussion. Objections are the result of misaligned pacing, unmet emotional needs, or broken rapport that occurred several steps before they said a word. Maybe you rushed through the clinical explanation because you had another patient waiting. Maybe you skipped the step where you ask what’s most important to them. Maybe your body language shifted when you opened the financial folder. These micro-moments stack up, and by the time you present fees, the patient is already guarded. This is why scripts for handling objections fail. Even the best language collapses if the person delivering it feels uncomfortable talking about money or doubts the value of the treatment. Patients sense this instantly. Confidence, or the lack of it, is communicated nonverbally long before you discuss numbers. Your tone, your pace, your posture, all of it telegraphs whether you believe in what you’re offering. When you rush to explain, justify, or counter objections, patients feel unheard. When you lean on memorized responses, they feel managed. Both reactions raise resistance instead of lowering it. People do not buy when they feel guarded. They buy when they feel safe. Safety comes from connection, not convincing. Free Growth Session Why Leadership Beats Language Every Time in Patient Consultations The most effective orthodontic consultations are not driven by clever phrasing. They’re driven by calm, empathetic leadership. Patients trust certainty that’s quiet, not loud. They trust confidence that doesn’t need to prove itself. They trust professionals who believe fully in both the provider and the outcome. That belief shows up in how you hold silence, how you answer questions without defensiveness, and how you stay present when the conversation gets uncomfortable. Empathy must come before explanation. Patients decide emotionally first. Logic only works after anxiety drops. When you lead with education instead of empathy, you overwhelm people who are already nervous. You pile information on top of fear, and fear wins every time. When you lead with empathy, education becomes welcome instead of threatening. Picture a parent sitting across from you. Their thirteen year old needs braces. They’ve already Googled horror stories about pain and cost. They’re worried about whether their insurance covers enough. They’re concerned their kid will hate them for making them wear metal. They’re calculating whether they can afford this and still take the family vacation they promised. Now imagine you open with, “Let me walk you through our payment options.” You just skipped the part where you acknowledge everything swirling in their head. You treated them like a transaction instead of a person. Instead, try this: “I know this is a big decision. A lot of families feel nervous about the cost and the time commitment. That’s completely normal. Let’s talk through what matters most to you, and we’ll figure out the best path forward together.” See the difference? You just lowered their guard. You made space for their anxiety. You signaled that you’re here to guide, not pressure. Now they can actually hear what you say next. This is why objections handled with patience and validation often dissolve on their own. The patient wasn’t looking for a debate. They were looking for reassurance that someone gets it. What High Performing Orthodontic Teams Do Differently High performing teams do not eliminate patient objections. They normalize them. They understand that objections are signals, not problems. Signals that something needs to be clarified, slowed down, or emotionally supported. They don’t view objections as roadblocks. They view them as guideposts showing where the patient needs more help. These teams stay externally focused instead of retreating into their own heads. They watch body language. They notice breathing, posture, tone, and energy. They catch the micro-expressions that reveal doubt before the patient even says a word. They stay in sync with the patient instead of racing toward the close. They treat objections as moments of alignment rather than conflict. Instead of trying to win an argument, they guide the patient back to clarity. They ask open ended questions like, “What part of this feels uncertain for you?” or “Help me understand what’s holding you back.” These questions invite honesty instead of triggering defense. High performers also debrief after tough consults. They don’t just shrug off a “no” and move to the next patient. They ask themselves: Where did I lose rapport? What signal did I miss? How can I improve the orthodontic patient experience next time? This approach doesn’t feel like selling. It feels like leadership. And leadership is what patients are looking for when they walk into your practice. Free Growth Session Five Moves to Improve Case Acceptance In Your Next Consult If objections feel heavy or frequent in your orthodontic practice, start here. Reframe objections internally before responding. They’re not attacks. They’re requests. When a patient voices a concern, pause for one full breath before you answer. That pause lets you shift from defense mode to guide mode. It also signals to the patient that you’re really listening. Acknowledge emotion before explaining anything. Validation lowers resistance faster than information. Say things like, “I hear you. That makes sense.” or “A lot of families feel that way at first.” You’re not agreeing with the objection. You’re acknowledging that it’s real for them. Pay attention to where objections are being created earlier in the process. Many are preventable through better expectation setting and rapport building. If patients consistently object to cost, ask yourself: Did I build enough value before I presented fees? Did I connect treatment outcomes to what they told me they care about? Focus on connection first, solutions second. Patients cannot hear logic when they feel unseen. Spend more time in the discovery phase. Ask what brought them in today. Ask what they’ve heard about braces. Ask what concerns them most. The more you understand their world, the easier it becomes to speak directly to their needs. Build conviction in the outcome, not just the script. Confidence is felt before it’s heard. If you don’t fully believe that your practice delivers life changing results, patients won’t believe it either. Spend time remembering why you do this work. Look at your before and after photos. Read testimonials. Reconnect with the transformation you create every day. That conviction will show up in your voice, your pace, and your presence. Objections Are Where Trust Gets Won In Orthodontic Consultations In orthodontics, trust is not built by avoiding objections. It’s built by how you show up when they appear. When teams stop bracing for objections and start welcoming them, consults become calmer, clearer, and more effective. Patients feel supported instead of sold. Decisions feel aligned instead of pressured. Case acceptance rates climb because people finally feel safe saying yes. Objections are not the moment the sale is lost. They’re often the moment trust is won. Every concern a patient voices is a chance to prove you’re different. A chance to show that you’re not here to push. You’re here to partner. The practices that win are not the ones with the smoothest talkers. They’re the ones with the steadiest leaders. The ones who stay calm when patients get nervous. The ones who listen more than they speak. The ones who make people feel seen, heard, and supported through one of the biggest decisions they’ll make for their family. Your patients aren’t resisting you. They’re asking you to lead. So lead. Start today by changing how you think about the next objection you hear. See it as an invitation. Respond with empathy. Guide with confidence. Watch what happens when you stop defending and start connecting. That’s how you transform case acceptance. That’s how you build a practice people trust. That’s how you create results that stick. Free Growth Session The post Why Orthodontic Objections Disappear When You Do This! appeared first on HIP Creative.

In this episode, Etienne Nichols and guest Ashkon Rasooli explore the transformative impact of AI in the medical device industry. From AI-driven diagnostics and wearable health monitors to the future of surgical robots, they delve into how these technologies are reshaping healthcare. The discussion also touches on the challenges and opportunities in validating and regulating AI within MedTech, highlighting real-world applications and predicting future trends."Validation of AI tools in MedTech requires a staged adoption to build confidence due to the inherent uncertainty in AI outcomes." - Ashkon Rasooli00:00 - Introduction to AI in MedTech05:15 - Discussing AI's deterministic vs. statistical nature12:30 - AI in diagnostics: Radiology, Cardiology, and Neurology20:45 - Wearable health monitors and patient-driven health data28:10 - The role of AI in medical device operations and manufacturing35:00 - AI at the point of care: Enhancing patient and clinician experience42:15 - Regulatory challenges and the future of AI in healthcareKey Takeaways:1. Latest MedTech Trends:The integration of AI in diagnostics is growing, particularly in radiology, cardiology, and neurology, aiding in more accurate and quicker diagnoses.Wearable health monitors are empowering patients to take control of their health data, leading to personalized healthcare solutions.2. Practical Tips for MedTech Enthusiasts:Stay informed about the latest AI advancements and regulatory guidelines to leverage AI effectively in MedTech.Consider the ethical implications and ensure bias mitigation in AI model training and deployment.3. Predictions for the Future:Increased adoption of AI across various healthcare sectors, including surgery and patient care management.Evolution of regulatory frameworks to better accommodate and oversee AI-driven medical devices.References:Ashkon Rasooli on LinkedInashkon@engeniussolutions.comEngenius SolutionsAFDO/RAPS Working GroupEtienne Nichols on LinkedInSponsors:This episode is brought to you by Greenlight Guru, a comprehensive solution designed to streamline MedTech product development and ensure regulatory compliance. Discover how Greenlight Guru can accelerate your projects at www.greenlight.guruShare your thoughts and questions with us at podcast@greenlight.guru

Welcome back to a brand new season! In this solo episode, Kat reflects on nearly a decade of navigating a full-time art career and the subtle traps that can stall creative growth. If you have ever felt busy but unfulfilled, or found yourself saying "yes" to every group show and opportunity out of a fear of missing out, this episode is for you. Kat discusses the concept that "good is the enemy of great" and how filling our schedules with "good" opportunities often prevents us from doing the deep, legacy-building work our souls actually crave. In this episode, we cover: The "Short-Term Giggle": Why we chase immediate dopamine hits (like small group shows) instead of waiting for the "full meal" of a cohesive body of work. Deep Work vs. Shallow Validation: Moving away from the pressure to look successful on Instagram and toward creating work that truly matters. The Fear of the Empty Calendar: Overcoming the survival-brain instinct that tells us we are failing if we aren't constantly busy. Career Reflection: Kat shares her personal decision to scale back on scattered commitments to focus on producing a body of work she is truly proud of.   JOIN THE COMMUNITY We have officially opened the doors to our membership, The Create! Collective! This is our career membership for artists who want to grow together. What's Inside: Twice-monthly Zoom calls, guest speakers, and support circles. New Opportunity: Active members are invited to participate in our exclusive Artsy exhibition coming up this March. Bonus: Join for the year and receive a special sweatshirt bonus gift.   Join The Create! Collective here: https://www.createmagazine.co/collective   CONNECT WITH KAT Email: info@createmagazine.com Substack: https://createmagazine.substack.com   If you enjoyed this episode, please consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review. Cheers to pursuing greatness together!

AJ and Johnny reveal the single most important human skill to master in 2026 — and why it's the one AI will never replace: validation. As automation takes over the transactional side of work, the moments that matter most — the hallway conversation, the tense meeting, the post-date silence — depend on your ability to make people feel understood. This episode breaks down why being right often backfires, how “fixing” kills influence and attraction, and why validation is the real unlock for leadership, connection, and persuasion in the AI era. They share real-world examples from clients in tech, dating, and leadership, showing how one small shift in sequencing — acknowledging before advising — transforms every interaction. Chapters: 00:00 – Why your biggest moments now matter more than ever 03:00 – AI can't replace the human layer of influence 05:00 – People move toward those who make them feel understood 07:00 – Why being right makes things worse 09:00 – How “fixing” kills attraction and trust 11:00 – The validation sequence: acknowledge before advise 13:00 – Real examples from work, dating, and daily life 16:00 – The neuroscience of feeling safe and seen 18:00 – Validation: the leadership skill AI can't automate 20:00 – The 3-step validation protocol AI, emotional intelligence, validation, leadership, communication, influence, connection, charisma, psychology, empathy, attraction A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check out Johnny on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@Social_Intell⁠⁠⁠⁠ or on ⁠⁠⁠⁠Tiktok @social_intel⁠⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Download Stuff for free today by going to trystuff.app or by searching for “Stuff” in the App Store. You can get 50% off your first year of Extra Stuff by using code CHARM at checkout. Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CHARM at monarch.com in your browser for HALF OFF your first year. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok AI, emotional intelligence, validation, leadership, communication, influence, connection, charisma, psychology, empathy, attraction Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us aren't just struggling with low self-worth. We're struggling with where we're drawing it from.Because without realising it, we've let people, outcomes, silence, success, and even failure decide how we feel about ourselves. One good day and we're up. One bad interaction and everything crashes.In this episode, I talk about how closeness shapes identity; how whatever you spend time with slowly becomes the voice in your head. And how staying close to God doesn't just change what you believe, it changes what you internalise.Press play when you're ready to stop outsourcing your identity.

In this episode, we're breaking down one of the biggest dating myths gay men love to repeat: “My standards are too high.” But sometimes the problem isn't what you want, it's what you allow. We get into the real difference between standards and boundaries, why attraction wipes our memory clean, and how low boundaries quietly reveal your level of self-worth. If you've ever said you want emotional maturity but keep entertaining sexy chaos, this episode is going to sting a little (in a good way). Some of the topics we cover in this episode are: A clear explanation of standards vs boundaries (with examples) Why our standards collapse the second a hot man gives you attention How boundaries are actually a self-worth and self-respect practice The “crumb diet” too many gay men settle for Join us for this honest, relatable, and painfully accurate episode that might be the reset your dating life has been waiting for. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men Matt Landsiedel Come to our Monthy Community Events  Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report. Chapters (00:00:00) - Gay Men's Dating: Standards and Boundaries(00:02:54) - What's The Difference Between Standards and Boundaries(00:04:52) - Gay Women Talk About Boundaries(00:09:14) - How To Give Care To Your Partner(00:12:34) - Why High Standards Don't Matter If Your Boundaries Are Low(00:16:22) - When do you find your boundaries collapsing fastest?(00:18:58) - What Makes You Feel Valid? Validation and Control(00:23:13) - What Poor Boundaries Look Like(00:27:08) - Standards vs Boundaries(00:27:23) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Donor-funded Podcast

Verification & Validation (V&V) plays a central role in ensuring that medical devices are safe, effective, and compliant — yet it remains one of the most challenging phases for many teams.In this podcast episode, we sit down with Aaron Joseph, medical device development expert and author of the well-known article “Top 10 V&V Fails”, to explore why V&V so often becomes a source of stress — and how teams can do better.Throughout the discussion, we cover:A clear, simple explanation of Verification vs. ValidationWhy V&V must span the entire development lifecycleHow poor requirements create downstream V&V failuresThe risks of starting V&V planning too lateHow to simplify test methods without losing rigorPractical strategies for handling failed testsHow to think about traceability without fearThe future of V&V as software and AI become more prevalentThis episode is designed to educate, demystify, and inspire QA/RA professionals, engineers, and MedTech leaders looking to build stronger, more resilient development processes.Who is Monir El Azzouzi?Monir El Azzouzi is a Medical Device Expert specializing in Quality and Regulatory Affairs. After working for many years with big Healthcare companies, particularly Johnson and Johnson, he decided to create EasyMedicalDevice.com to help people better understand Medical Device Regulations worldwide. He has now created the consulting firm Easy Medical Device GmbH and developed many ways to deliver knowledge through videos, podcasts, online courses… His company also acts as Authorized Representative for the EU, UK, and Switzerland. Easy Medical Device becomes a one-stop shop for medical device manufacturers that need support on Quality and Regulatory Affairs.Social Media to follow Aaron Joseph Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajosephprofile/Monir El Azzouzi Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/melazzouziTwitter: https://twitter.com/elazzouzimPinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/easymedicaldeviceInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/easymedicaldevice

Traditional finance recruitment is at a breaking point. With a 0.7% acceptance rate at major banks and 90% of applicants using AI to "game" the system, the CV has become a redundant data point.In this episode of the Market Maker Podcast, Chief Content and Culture Officer Anthony Cheung and Lara Montefiori, VP of Product, discuss how to solve the "AI Volume Crisis." They explore why traditional methods fail and how simulation-based assessments provide a "work sample" that identifies genuine potential through behavioral data.Key Insights:The Volume Problem: Managing 600,000+ applications effectively.The Validity Gap: Why traditional tests have less than 25% predictive validity.The Simulation Solution: Using behavioral trace data to see how candidates handle real-world mistakes and market volatility.Selection Rigor: Applying elite selection frameworks (like the SAS) to early-career finance.About AmplifyME: We help financial institutions move beyond the resume to identify real-world ability through simulation technology.Contact the team at www.amplifyme.com(00:00) The Finance Hiring Crisis (03:35) How AI is Breaking CVs (08:39) Simulations for Assessments(14:23) Genuine Talent Identification(18:12) Building a Talent Ecosystem(24:19) How the Product Works(29:45) Validation & Reliability(30:27) AmplifyME Product Vision

If you're a developer or founder, you already know how to build. The hard part is building the right thing, for the right people, at the right time. In Part 1 of our interview with Samir ElKamouny, we dig into a practical market validation strategy that helps you avoid the most expensive mistake in software: investing months of effort into something the market didn't ask for. Samir's message is refreshingly grounded: big ideas are great, but execution is everything. And execution doesn't start with code—it starts with clarity, research, and small tests that tell you whether you're on the right path. About Samir ElKamouny Samir ElKamouny is an entrepreneur and marketing expert who believes execution is everything—an early lesson inspired by his father's legacy of big ideas. He's helped scale businesses by pairing strategic action with a commitment to impact, guided by values like Freedom, Happiness, Health, Family, and Spirituality. In this episode, that philosophy shows up as practical market validation: test demand and messaging before you overbuild. Market Validation Strategy: Start With "Is This Real?" Before "Can I Build It?" One of the biggest mindset shifts Samir reinforces is that your first job isn't product development—it's discovery. Before you worry about features, tech stacks, or perfect UI, you need answers to questions like: What problem are we solving—and for whom? What alternatives do people already use? Why would someone switch (or pay)? What would make this stand out in the market? This is where market research becomes your leverage. It reduces risk, sharpens your messaging, and keeps your roadmap tied to real-world demand instead of assumptions. Ideas Don't Win—Execution Wins: You can have a great idea, but if you can't clearly explain why it matters and who it's for, you'll struggle to sell it—even if you build it perfectly. Market Validation Strategy: Use Market Research to Find Differentiation Samir talks about loving market research because it forces you to look for what actually matters: differentiation. A useful way to think about this (especially for builders) is to treat your market research like a product spec—but for the buyer's brain: What are the top 3 pains people complain about? What outcomes do they want most? What language do they use to describe the problem? What do they distrust about existing options? That last point is gold: distrust is often where your positioning lives. If buyers think "all solutions in this space are overpriced and confusing," your market edge might be "simple, transparent, and fast to implement." Market Validation Strategy: Run the $5/Day Test (Before You Write Code) Here's where Samir gets extremely actionable: you don't need a perfect product to validate interest. You need a simple way to test messaging and capture intent. Think lightweight experiments: a basic landing page with one clear promise a short form ("Interested? Tell me your biggest challenge.") a tiny ad budget to test demand and messaging (Samir mentions even $5/day) a few direct conversations with the people you're building for This isn't about "launching." It's about getting signals—fast. The Goal Isn't Perfection—It's Proof: If people won't click, reply, or sign up when the idea is explained clearly, a bigger build won't fix that. Validation comes before optimization. Market Validation Strategy: Build a Funnel That Matches the Buyer's Learning Curve Samir also breaks down why funnels aren't one-size-fits-all. The funnel you need depends on how much your buyer must be educated before they can decide. If you're in a well-known category—say "CRM"—buyers already understand the problem and the solution type. Your job becomes differentiation and trust. But if your product is new, complex, or requires behavior change, you may need a longer funnel: more education, more examples, more proof, and more clarity before a buyer is ready to act. Either way, the key is to define the conversion goal (lead, consultation, free trial, signup) and build only what supports that path. Market Validation Strategy: A 48-Hour Checklist for Builders Try this quick validation sprint before you commit to a full build: Write a one-sentence offer (who it's for + outcome). Build a simple landing page (problem, promise, proof, CTA). Run a tiny ad test or post where your audience hangs out. Track clicks + form submissions (signals > opinions). Talk to 3–5 responders and ask what they expected. If the message lands, you've earned the right to build the next layer. If it doesn't, you just saved yourself months of building the wrong thing. Closing Thoughts: Execute Small, Learn Fast, Build Smart A strong market validation strategy is less about "finding the perfect idea" and more about building the habit of learning quickly. Samir's approach helps you move from assumptions to evidence—without betting your time, energy, or budget on hope. So before you spin up a repo, define your offer, test your messaging, and look for real-world signals. Once you have proof, then you can build with confidence—because you're not just building software. You're building something people actually want. In Part 2, we'll take the next step: how to diagnose funnel bottlenecks, improve clarity, and use smarter testing to increase conversions once you've got traction. Stay Connected: Join the Developreneur Community We invite you to join our community and share your coding journey with us. Whether you're a seasoned developer or just starting, there's always room to learn and grow together. Contact us at info@develpreneur.com with your questions, feedback, or suggestions for future episodes. Together, let's continue exploring the exciting world of software development. Additional Resources Branding and Marketing Fundamentals with Kevin Adelsberger Leverage YouTube For Marketing And Brand Growth How to Succeed with Digital Marketing for Small Businesses Building Better Foundations Podcast Videos – With Bonus Content

"How dare you?! People are stuck with their families." Happy New Year, NDAngels!! This week, Ann and Amanda chat about Real Housewives of SLC, Below Deck Mediterranean, and whatever else comes up along the way!We release two types of episodes -- pop culture/reality TV chats (that's this one!) and interviews. If you missed our recent interviews with Jeremy Bent and Maebe A Girl, we HIGHLY recommend you check those out!WSANDA SUBMISSIONS: wsandasubmissions@gmail.comFollow us on instagram @wesignedannda @mikiannmaddox @liffordthebigreddog so you can slither in our DMs with constructive feedback, but please, for the love of god, don't cyberbully us. We're fragile :-/If you're picking up what we're putting down and want even more Ann and Amanda comedy content, support us on Patreon. You have no idea how many times we've said "Wait, this is too batshit.....we'll put it on Patreon." Our cover art was made by America's sweetheart, producer Maddy, and our theme song features parts of "Kawaii Til I Die" by Starjunk 95 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Learn Unite to Create Site-Specific Browsers with ScreenCastsONLINE Tutorial From Surge Protectors to Mice to Displays — by George from Tulsa Building a Fiction Editing Pipeline Part 2 - Grammar — Eddie Tonkoi Support the Show CCATP #827 — Bart Busschots on Understanding Email Sender Validation Transcript of NC_2026_01_02 Join the Conversation: allison@podfeet.com podfeet.com/slack Support the Show: Patreon Donation Apple Pay or Credit Card one-time donation PayPal one-time donation Podfeet Podcasts Mugs at Zazzle NosillaCast 20th Anniversary Shirts Referral Links: Setapp - 1 month free for you and me PETLIBRO - 30% off for you and me Parallels Toolbox - 3 months free for you and me Learn through MacSparky Field Guides - 15% off for you and me Backblaze - One free month for me and you Eufy - $40 for me if you spend $200. Sadly nothing in it for you. PIA VPN - One month added to Paid Accounts for both of us CleanShot X - Earns me $25%, sorry nothing in it for you but my gratitude

LLOYD GEORGE AT THE BERGHOF Colleague Charles Spicer. In September 1936, Lloyd George traveled to Hitler's Alpine retreat, the Berghof, where he successfully charmed the dictator, who was delighted by the visit and the validation it offered. The meeting was marked by mutual goodwill, with Lloyd George finding Hitler unpretentious and well-educated, a view he later publicized in the British press. During their discussions, Lloyd George proposed reopening the Locarno treaty to address German grievances regarding Versailles, noting that Hitler responded with visceral hatred whenever the subject of Russia was raised. Although criticized in hindsight, the visit was a serious diplomatic attempt to engage the regime, leveraging Lloyd George's status as the statesman who had originally drafted the war guilt clause. NUMBER 5 1945-46 GORING AND FOUR OTHER NUREMBERG TRIAL ACCUSED

In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Kati Morton dives deep into the complex psychology of eating disorders, the lasting "blueprint" of childhood trauma, and why certain coping mechanisms feel impossible to give up. We explore the often-misunderstood need for validation in recovery, the erratic behavior of some therapists, and why mental health struggles can feel like an addictive cycle. Whether you are navigating your own healing journey or trying to understand a loved one, this episode offers professional insight into breaking cycles of shame and finding a path toward a healthier sense of self. Support the show! Check out our sponsor Remi:  Get professional quality custom night guards for 80% less than the dentist.  Go to https://www.shopremi.com/KATI and use code KATI  at checkout for 50% off Timestamps 00:00:50 – Kati discusses whether "attention-seeking" in eating disorders is actually a cry for unmet emotional needs from childhood. 00:07:02 q1 – An exploration of why childhood sexual abuse deeply impacts one's psychological foundation and sense of safety. 00:15:54 q2 – Kati explains the addictive nature of self-harm and how to discuss the fear of stopping with a therapist. 00:22:45 q3 – Insight into why a therapist might show inconsistent personalities and how to handle unprofessional boundaries. 00:31:16 q4 – Advice for a student in India facing academic pressure and unsafe living conditions while dependent on family. 00:34:53 q5 – A look at "behavioral activation" and what to do when standard depression treatments and medications haven't worked. 00:39:09 q6 – How OCD can "rob" you of your interests by demanding a level of control that makes joy impossible. 00:44:40 q7 – Why it is common to feel terrified of fully committing to recovery after years of struggling with anorexia. 00:49:09 q8 – A professional breakdown of how therapists ethically intervene when a patient self-harms or dissociates during a session. MY BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This?  (JUST RELEASED)  https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized   https://geni.us/Bfak0j   Are u ok?    https://geni.us/sva4iUY  PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman |  nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Ask Kati Anything ep. 295 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Professor Toby Wilkinson. Alexander the Great besieged Gaza, dragging its governor to death to mimic Achilles and signal his dominance. Seeking divine validation, he trekked to the Siwa Oasis, where priests confirmed him as the son of Zeus Ammon. He later founded Alexandria, orienting Egypt toward the Mediterranean. 1842 EGYPT