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Dr. Alison Cook, bestselling author of Boundaries for Your Soul, returns to Typology to talk about her new book, The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy. Alison is candid about her own lifelong wrestle with insecurity as an Enneagram Three, and we dig into two of her book's central characters: the controller, the part of us trying to earn love by managing how we're perceived, and the shadow, the part left holding everything we couldn't afford to feel. Drawing on Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and contemplative Christian tradition, Alison offers a different way to think about the soul — not as a machine to fix, but as a mountain to explore, one shadowy valley at a time. Along the way: Gabor Maté's idea that children are forced to choose between attachment and authenticity, why "I am loved even here" might be the whole gospel in five words, and the real difference between fixing yourself and healing. About Dr. Alison Cook: Dr. Alison Cook is a psychologist of religion, licensed therapist, and host of the top-ranked The Best of You Podcast. She is the author of several bestselling books, including Boundaries for Your Soul. Known for her work at the intersection of faith, psychology, and spiritual formation, she helps people cultivate a secure inner life– healing past wounds, strengthening a grounded sense of self, building healthy relationships, and experiencing God as a steady and loving presence in their lives. She and her husband, Joe, are the parents of two adult children and call the mountains of Wyoming home. Facebook Instagram Website The Best of You Podcast
This week, Thomas sits down with award-winning researcher, author, and science communicator Britt Wray to discuss the need for collective care, systemic action, and spiritual introspection in addressing the climate crisis and its psychological effects.Britt offers an approach to climate anxiety, called “Transformational Resilience,” that focuses on channeling emotional distress into meaningful action and care, rather than resorting to denial or returning to an unhelpful baseline.She and Thomas also explore how climate action is like a relay race, where action is sustained over time by passing the baton, and how acting in alignment with environmental values reduces cognitive dissonance and fosters emotional well-being.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Why does it sometimes feel like different parts of us are pulling in opposite directions? How do we begin to notice, understand, and care for the parts of ourselves that are trying to cope with pain, loss, and grief?For psychologist and author Dr. Audrey Davidheiser, understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) has transformed both her personal and professional journey. Through her own experiences—including the loss of her father—and years of helping others navigate grief, she has seen how IFS offers a compassionate framework for understanding the many parts that make up our inner world. Rather than viewing these parts as problems to be fixed, IFS invites us to approach them with curiosity, compassion, and care, recognizing that each part is often trying to protect us or help us survive difficult experiences. In her book, Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soul, Dr. Davidheiser explores how the principles of IFS can be applied to the grieving process through a thoughtful Christian lens, offering practical tools for healing and growth.In this conversation, Davey and Dr. Davidheiser discuss what Internal Family Systems is, how different parts can emerge in response to grief and hardship, and how understanding these parts can help us move toward deeper healing and wholeness.If you've ever felt torn between conflicting emotions, wondered why one part of you wants to move forward while another wants to hold back, or struggled to make sense of your reactions in seasons of loss, this episode will encourage you to approach yourself with greater compassion. You'll discover that every part of you has a story to tell, and that through the healing presence of Jesus, those parts can be understood, cared for, and brought toward greater wholeness. Website: https://www.aimforbreakthrough.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/draudreyd Book: Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing to Every Part of Your Soulhttps://amzn.to/3RSmiax Not living the story you expected? Pain changes us but doesn't have to define us. Discover where you are on your healing journey and get a personalized pathway for your next steps: nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: nothingiswasted.com/coaching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
You would never call it worship. You'd call it being responsible. But look at what you organize your life around, what you reach for the second the ground shifts, the thing you cannot fall asleep without having settled. You have built an altar to certainty, and you bow at it every time fear whispers that if you could just get control of this, you'd finally be safe. It isn't faith. It's control wearing faith's clothing, and underneath it is a version of you who learned a long time ago that holding everything together was the only way not to get hurt. Dr. Alison Cook joins me for a conversation that goes straight underneath that pattern. A therapist, host of The Best of You podcast, and author of the new book The Secure Soul, Alison has spent two decades helping people tell the difference between security and certainty, and see why the two were never the same thing. We talk about what it means to be held by a God whose first gift is not a map but His presence, about the control we mistake for faith and the caretaking we mistake for love, and about the wilderness seasons that strip away every scaffolding we built to feel safe so that something truer can finally hold us. If you are the strong one, the capable one, quietly white-knuckling a life that looks impressive from the outside and feels hollow underneath, this conversation will not hand you a better way to manage it. It will ask you to take your hands off the thing you have been worshiping. To let yourself be seen before you have earned it, loved before you have fixed it, held before you have figured any of it out. The security you are aching for is real. It was never on the other side of control; it is found in the presence of the One who has never once asked you to carry it alone, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. Guest Bio Dr. Alison Cook is a therapist and the host of the top-ranked The Best of You podcast, where she helps people heal past wounds, develop a strong sense of self, and experience a God who is for them. She earned her BA at Dartmouth College, her MA at Denver Seminary, and her PhD at the University of Denver, where she specialized in integrating psychology and theology. Certified in Internal Family Systems, she is the author of The Best of You, coauthor of Boundaries for Your Soul, and the author of the new book The Secure Soul: Finding Inner Strength and Connection When Trust Doesn't Come Easy. Show Partner(s) SafeSleeve designs a phone case that blocks up to 99% of harmful EMF radiation—so I'm not carrying that kind of exposure next to my body all day. It's sleek, durable, and most importantly, lab-tested by third parties. The results aren't hidden—they're published right on their site. And that matters because many so-called EMF blockers on the market either don't work or can't prove they do. We protect our hearts and minds—why wouldn't we protect our bodies too? Head to safesleevecases.com and use the code WINTODAY10 for 10% off your order. Episode Links Show Notes Buy my book "Healing What You Can't Erase" here! Invite me to speak at your church or event. Connect with me @WINTODAYChris on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
In the midst of the polycrisis - or the meta crisis, depending on your point of view - what is the key to the inner change each of us can make that will help us shift our perspective so that we can begin to create the total systemic change we need? In this solo podcast, Manda explores the Three Pillars of the Heart Mind laid out in the Accidental Gods modules - Gratitude, Compassion and Joyful Curiosity…and then adds a fourth: Honouring all aspects of the Web of Life. How does it feel to honour everything: the things we take for granted, the things we judge as being bad or wrong, the things that disturb us, as well as the things whose loss we grieve so deeply? Manda explores the idea that shifting to a place of honouring can transform our entire worldview and help us to find meaning and purpose in a world on fire.
This week, Thomas shares a teaching on what fuels your life energy and how this connects to your spiritual health and sense of purpose.Thomas focuses in on the idea of interdependence, or interconnectedness, and how your vitality is dependent on relational dynamics, co-regulation, and collective wellness.He explores healing modalities and spiritual practices that can recharge your energetic battery, with wisdom on how to shift from repetitive, stagnant patterns to emergent, authentic movements.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Most of us were taught to treat emotions like distress, numbness, and burnout as private failings to manage and move past, rather than normal responses to living within a world full of crises. The unintended result is a distrust in our own bodies and mind, further leading to more confusion about what is 'normal.' One framework offers a potential path to living in harmony with all of the mind's distinct parts, breaking the defensive and counterproductive loops we tend to get stuck in. What sort of systemic ripples might become possible if we stop trying to smother uncomfortable parts of ourselves, and begin embracing them as critical pieces of our own mental ecologies? In this episode, Nate is joined by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, the therapist who developed Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Steffi Bednarek, a climate psychologist applying that same model to organizations, governments, and culture at large. Dick walks through the origins of IFS, which describes the mind as naturally made up of "parts" – protectors and exiles – with their own histories, fears, and roles, which are all held by an underlying "Self." Steffi extends the model outward to show how institutions and even entire countries can be read as systems of exiles and protectors, and shares how she uses IFS with governments, financial institutions, and wealth holders to defuse shame and effectively guide toward pro-social behavioral change. Together, they explore why healing our relationship to our own most despised parts may be inseparable from healing our relationship to the rest of the living world. How can looking inward to our own thought processes and patterns help us better understand and relate to others, especially those whose behavior we find hardest to accept? As we continue through challenging times, how can we balance critical physical and policy work with the internal work of healing our relationship to the mental parts we shy away from? And would our decisions and actions change if more and more humans began to lead from curiosity and compassion, instead of fear, and could that be enough to shift the larger system? (Conversation recorded on August 5th, 2026) About Richard C. Schwartz: Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, is the creator of Internal Family Systems, a highly effective, therapeutic model with a growing evidence base, that de-pathologizes the multi-part personality. Richard is also the Founder of the IFS Institute that primarily offers training for professionals. He is currently a Teaching Associate in Psychiatry, at Cambridge Health Alliance, a Harvard Medical School teaching affiliate. Richard has authored or co-authored more than ten books on Internal Family Systems and related topics, including No Bad Parts and Internal Family Systems Therapy. He lives near Chicago with his wife Jeanne, Vice President of the IFS Institute, close to his three daughters and six grandchildren. About Steffi Bednarek: Steffi Bednarek is a gestalt psychotherapist, trauma therapist, and climate psychologist. Her work explores the interface between climate change and mental health. With twenty-five years of experience in depth psychology, complexity thinking, climate psychology, and grief tending, Bednarek has worked for national governments and global institutions to prepare leaders and organizations for the psychological dimension of climate change in decision-making processes. Her work has been featured in the Huffington Post, BBC, David Milliband's "Reasons to be cheerful" podcast and numerous international publications. She is the co-founder of "Explorations into Climate Psychology" journal and an associate member of the American Psychological Association's climate change group. Show Notes and More Watch this video episode on YouTube Want to learn the broad overview of The Great Simplification in 30 minutes? Watch our Animated Movie. --- Support The Institute for the Study of Energy and Our Future Join our Substack newsletter Join our Hylo channel and connect with other listeners
This week, Thomas shares a teaching on becoming grounded to integrate ancestral wisdom and initiate yourself into the digital age in a spiritually centered and holistic way.He explores the perspective shifts that occur in both healing and spiritual awakening, and how we can harness this transformative power to heal collectively and evolve technologically without abandoning spiritual connection.Thomas also discusses the importance of embracing uncertainty to expand your consciousness, what it means to truly process the past, and how to open yourself to your unique, higher calling.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Can recovery itself become a form of avoidance?This week, Alana Gordon explores a pattern that can quietly interfere with healing from compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal: using individual recovery work to avoid relational repair—or using couples work to avoid personal accountability.Listen in to learn how to avoid these pitfalls and gauge if your recovery work is actually healing you and your relationship.Journaling prompts for the person who acted outside their values: Am I asking for space to regulate or to escape accountability? How is my individual work helping me become more relationally available? Am I initiating repair or am I requiring my partner to still pursue me? Can I hear my partner's experience without explaining my own first? What changes should my partner realistically expect to see from me, and am I doing that?Journaling prompts for the injured partner: Is this space creating stability or prolonged uncertainty? Is my partner returning when they say they will? Are they initiating the repair? Am I seeing greater empathy, accountability, and engagement? Is the individual work changing behavior or are they only explaining it? What do I need to do in order to remain emotionally safe? LAST CHANCE TO REGISTER!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
We are joined by spiritual director and trainer, Marty Boller, discussing the intersection of Internal Family Systems and spiritual direction. IFS has been a helpful tool in therapy and Marty explores ways it can be beneficial in a contemplative context.Mentioned in this episode:https://contemplative-activist.com/ifs/https://www.centerforengagedcompassion.com/Movies: Inside Out and Inside Out 2The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. Introduction to Internal Family Systems by Richard SchwartzSign up for our newsletter: https://thecontemplativelife.substack.com/subscribeSome of our show notes contain affiliate links. We want to save you the effort of looking up resources + we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support.
If you are up most nights worrying about money scenarios that may or may not happen, this episode is for you. I know how hard it is… In this episode, we explore why financial uncertainty can feel so overwhelming, especially when our capacity is already depleted by caregiving, grief, burnout, health concerns, work pressure or major life transitions.You'll learn how the nervous system responds to uncertainty, how reduced capacity can turn a future possibility into a present emergency, and how to distinguish useful preparation from fear-based forecasting.We'll also explore the certainty-seeking loop: the cycle of one more calculation, one more scenario and one more question, all in the hope that enough thinking will finally make us feel safe.Because some money stress needs a plan.Some money stress needs care.And often, it needs both.In this episode, we explore:Why even exciting uncertainty can activate the nervous systemHow capacity affects our ability to tolerate financial unknownsThe window of tolerance in ordinary, everyday languageThe difference between practical preparation and fear-based forecastingHow to identify the specific problem your worry is trying to preventWhy every possible future scenario does not require a plan todayHow one small practical step can build agency and self-trustWhat to do when your mind continues asking, “But are we absolutely sure?”An IFS-inspired* practice for meeting the part of you that carries financial fear*The guided reflection in this episode is inspired by Internal Family Systems and is offered for education and gentle self-reflection. It is not a substitute for mental health treatment or individualized financial advice.⭐️ Book Your Introductory SessionIf you're tired of wondering why money feels harder than it should, I invite you to book a 1:1 Financial Wellness Session.Together, we'll explore the emotional, behavioral, and nervous system patterns driving your financial decisions, identify what's getting in the way, and create a practical path forward that actually works for your real life.Because I BET you don't need more financial advice... you need help understanding why you're struggling to do what you already know would help.You can book your session here. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ If this episode made you think, gave you a new perspective, or helped you feel a little less alone, would you do me a favor?Leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and email me a screenshot. Reviews help this little podcast reach more go-getters who need it. And because I appreciate you, I'll send you a special thank-you gift in return ♥️~Podcast theme song by The Jilted Irony
This week, Thomas sits down with Ashanti Kunene, an activist, slam poet, writer, and the founder of Learning 2 Unlearn, for a conversation about spiritual alignment and integrity in leadership and the connection between individual healing and systems change.In a time when we're all faced with the repercussions of intergenerational trauma, oppressive systems, and unethical leadership, those of us who feel called to facilitate change must first confront our personal narratives, ethics, and shadow-self so that our actions align with our inner spiritual and moral compass.Ashanti and Thomas explore what that really looks like, what people in positions of power are truly responsible and accountable for, and what we can learn from the good AND the bad deeds of those who came before us.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Betrayal doesn't just break trust—it can completely reshape how you experience rejection.In this conversation, Amie and Alana unpack why rejection sensitivity becomes so intense after betrayal trauma, how comparison steals peace, and why rebuilding self-trust is one of the most important parts of healing.You'll learn:Why betrayal attacks your sense of worthHow rejection becomes stored in the nervous systemHow to rebuild self-trust after betrayalWhy healing isn't about avoiding rejection—but refusing to abandon yourselfChapters03:08 Personal Story of Shattered Self-Worth10:33 Rejection Before and After Discovery13:46 Comparison and Hypervigilance18:07 Self-Objectification25:40 Rebuilding Self-Trust and SafetyWe'd love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
128. Ancestral Trauma & Psychedelic IntegrationA 45-year psychedelic guide on ancestral trauma, Internal Family Systems, and why integration, not the ceremony, is the real medicine.Episode SummaryMost conversations about psychedelics stay at the level of the ceremony: the dose, the visions, the breakthrough. This episode goes somewhere else. Sand Symes has spent 45 years supporting women, first as a social worker, then as what she calls a modern medicine woman, and she doesn't talk about psychedelics as a fix. She talks about them as a way back to parts of yourself that got buried decades ago and never fully addressed. In this live recording from Psychedelic Salon at Town Hall Seattle, Sand walks through Internal Family Systems, the neuroscience of fear memory, the "trauma of overdoing" that hides inside high-functioning women, and why psychedelic integration for women is the part almost everyone underestimates. If you've ever wondered what actually happens after the journey ends, this is that conversation.
There are no bad parts, only parts that need to be integrated. SOURCE: https://www.enotalone.com/article/mental-health/therapy/10-tips-to-harmonize-your-inner-world-with-ifs-therapy-r13980/https://www.mentallyfitpro.com/c/free-therapy-worksheets/internal-family-systems-worksheetsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Home. Family. Belonging. Love. What does it mean to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family? Gerry Crete and Theresa Robinson join us to explore that question: “What does a thriving marriage and flourishing in family life look like? We bring in Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, perfectionism, the importance of family members delighting in each other, parents' vows and scripts, how loving children involves more than the will, and the importance of “being with” each other. Check out Theresa Robinson's practice, Greenhouse Counselling, here: https://www.greenhousecounselling.com/ And Dr. Gerry Crete's practice, Transfiguration, is here: https://www.transfiguration.co/ Episode 85 is all about perfectionism: https://youtu.be/bw-zUp2h_TA Check out our Resilient Catholics Community – the RCC offers structured programming to help orthodox Catholic flourish in life by working on our human formation: https://members.soulsandhearts.com/rcc If you are a Catholic therapist, coach, spiritual director, priest, or in another role where you accompany others in their human formation, consider the Formation for Formators Community (FFF). The FFF is all about the personal, human formation of the formator, so that you can better receive and give love in how you accompany others. More here: https://members.soulsandhearts.com/fff And our daily sister podcast, Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts is all about helping our listeners integrate inside, heal from emotional burdens, and grow to flourish in accepting being loved and loving yourself in an ordered way. https://www.youtube.com/@ScriptureForYourInnerOutcasts Key moments: 0:00 The home and family as a human treasure and source of joy4:30 The core question for this podcast series11:10 What does it mean to have a healthy marriage and family?13:30 The importance of the family, the “domestic church”21:00 Parts' expectations for family life – flourishing does not equal perfection25:00 Dr. Peter was a great parent right out of the gate, but then things got much more real. 25:56 Perfectionism in family life – how “the best is the enemy of the good.” Attachment needs and integrity needs in family life. Dr. Gerry wanted to provide his children everything so that they would be happy. 29:41 Eudaimonia is about a life well-lived, not perfection, a place where children can rest in the security of love33:30 Unconditional love in the family vs. a focus on “achievement”36:20 What is flourishing in marriages and family life? 40:42 The importance of joy and delighting in children45:45 How mothers and fathers can parents from a position of self-protection; the importance of pausing49:15 Parents' vows and scripts are often reactions to their experience of their own parents50:53 Parents often take too much responsibility for their children's behavior57:25 Balancing wanting the best for our kids with the need to “let go”1:00:10 Even heroic acts of the will are not enough in loving children10:01:30 How understanding parts make family relationships much easier1:04:20 Self-led parenting1:05:19 Parts language and family life1:09:00 How parts work helps with forgiveness in family life1:18:40 Some reassurances about parenting: how earthy parents are not the primary parents of their children, God's providence is active1:19:20 “Being with children” is more important than solving their problems1:22:30 Reversal with children and identification/counter-identification with parents1:26:00 Earthly parents are secondary parents, redux. God has a plan for every miscue, every mistake. He's willing to rewrite the family symphony, to take on the bad notes and turn them into good notes in His Providence1:28:25 Flourishing in a family is about creating an ecology or environment of worth and delight1:30:20 For each mom to remember that she is a beloved little daughter of God.
Why does your child's meltdown sometimes bring out a version of you that sounds exactly like your own parent?Marriage and Family Therapist Todd Creager breaks down self-led parenting, a concept rooted in Internal Family Systems, and why so many parents end up reacting instead of responding when a child pushes their buttons. Todd separates the wounded, protective parts of us — the manager, who worries about looking good and getting it right, and the firefighter, who explodes or shuts down — from the calm, confident "self" that can actually hold a boundary without losing warmth.He shares two stories to make the idea concrete. The first is personal: watching his three-year-old daughter get turned away by other kids on her first day of preschool, and realizing his own strong reaction as a parent had more to do with his own childhood than with what was actually happening to her. The second involves a client whose fear around her own childhood health struggles gets triggered every time her son won't listen about food, and how naming that pattern is helping her respond to him differently.Todd's point isn't that parents need to be calm all the time or get it perfect. Self-led parenting means noticing when a part of you has taken over the moment, and coming back to yourself before you respond. That shift is what lets you set a limit without making your child feel small, and let them sit with a hard feeling without needing to fix it or shut it down right away.If you've ever said something to your kid that you swore you'd never say — and heard your own parent's voice come out of your mouth — this episode gives you a way to understand what's actually happening in that moment, and a starting point for handling it differently next time.Follow Todd Creager for more conversations on relationships, parenting, and healing the younger parts of ourselves, because raising kids well often starts with parenting the parts of us they trigger. Making the World Safe for Love. If this episode resonates with you, please share it with someone who could benefit and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to transform their lives.Check out my complete program "From Bickering & Escalating to Connecting & Loving" for more in-depth guidance: https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/loving-connecting-masterclassTodd Creager, LCSW, LMFTTodd is a sex expert and therapist in Huntington Beach. He provides relationship coaching to couples throughout the world and in Orange County including Irvine, Newport Beach, Corona del Mar, Laguna Beach, Seal Beach and Long Beach. (714) 848-2288.You can find more tips and resources from Todd Creager at: https://toddcreager.com HELPFUL LINKS:Get your FREE copy of Healing Infidelity From The Inside Out https://www.toddcreagertraining.com/heal-infidelity Secrets to a Sexy Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/sexy-marriage-secrets7 Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage: https://toddcreager.kartra.com/page/optin-DPYMBe...
Relationships are messy, and when you re-imagine life with three instead of two, well, let's just say the complexity multiplies in ways you might not expect, even if you've been practicing non-monogamy for decades. So what does it actually take to build a throuple that both honors each person's individuality and creates a beautiful togetherness? And how do you navigate that when each person brings their own neurodivergence, relationship history, and vision of what love should look like?This week, we're sitting down with Margo, Chris, and Jodi—affectionately known as "the Throupledom"—to talk about their journey of building a relationship that defies easy categorization. These three incredible humans are Year Of Opening® alums, and what unfolded inside their cohort was nothing short of transformative. They've experimented with living arrangements, deconstructed couples privilege from multiple angles, navigated different timelines of NRE wearing off, and created space for one partner to explore mono-amory while staying in a throuple.If you've ever wondered whether it's possible to be in a committed multi-partner relationship while honoring radically different relationship orientations, or if you're curious about what it really takes to dismantle default relationship structures, this conversation is for you.In this episode, we talk about:— How Chris and Margo's 20+ years of "messy" non-monogamy didn't fully prepare them for the game-changing nature of this triad— Why Jodi falling in love for the first time brought up all the "mono normie Disney princess brouhaha" neither of them expected— The pivotal moment when Jodi admitted, "I was trying to break you two up," and how that radical honesty became a turning point— How neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, PTSD) shapes each person's relationship needs and why recognizing these patterns was essential to their survival as a throuple— The difference between bifurcating yourself across relationships versus showing up as your whole self—and why that shift was so challenging for Chris— What happened when the NRE wore off at different times for different dyads (spoiler: it got really hard)— How they've experimented with "multi-nesting" and why they've tried everything from all together in a one bedroom apartment to living separately five minutes apart— Why taking breaks from each other wasn't a sign of failure but actually a crucial tool for growth— The power of parts work (Internal Family Systems) in helping each person recognize patterns without shame— How they're creating space for Jodi to explore monoamory within a thruple, and why that's not actually a contradiction— The difference between equality and equanimity in relationships, and why that distinction was a game-changer— Why they describe themselves as "scientists" in their relationship—constantly experimenting, adjusting, and trying again without attachment to any single outcome— How psychedelic journeys helped Margo recognize the soul-level connection with Chris that gave her confidence to keep choosing this relationship— What it means to find security not through conditionality (marriage, cohabitation, exclusivity) but through the ineffable thread that connects them— Why "home" became such a complicated word for them, and how they're navigating the search for a shared physical spaceJOIN The Year Of Opening® community for a full year of learning & supportLearn the 5 secrets to open your relationship the smart wayAre you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.comGet the answers you want to create the open relationship of your dreams! Sign up for a Playing With Fire Community Call hereMusic: Dance of Felt by Blue Dot Sessions
In this special episode of IFS Talks, we welcome Richard C. Schwartz, Martha Sweezy, David Lovas, and Sunny Strasburg, authors of Psychedelic Medicine and Internal Family Systems Therapy: A Clinical Skills Manual.Together, we explore why IFS and psychedelic-assisted therapy can be naturally complementary, and why the medicine itself is only one part of the therapeutic process. Our guests discuss the importance of preparation, respect for protectors, internal consent, careful pacing, therapeutic presence, clinical safety, and ethical practice.The conversation examines how therapists can distinguish Self-energy from altered or dissociative states, decide when to intervene during challenging experiences, and respond to fear, overwhelm, shutdown, and protector backlash. We also consider sensitive questions concerning touch, boundaries, therapist readiness, personal experience with psychedelic medicines, and the assessment of clients for whom this work may not yet be safe.Finally, we turn to integration: how IFS can help people make sense of psychedelic experiences, reconnect with every part of their system, and translate insight into meaningful and sustainable change.We believe this is a thoughtful and clinically grounded conversation about the possibilities of bringing IFS and psychedelic medicine together, without losing sight of humility, consent, safety, and respect for the client's inner healing intelligence.This episode is intended for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice or encourage the use of psychedelic substances outside appropriately qualified, ethical, and legal settings.We are excited to celebrate the launch of IFS Collected Wisdom: Conversations with Experienced Voices in Internal Family Systems a book that brings together voices, reflections, and lived experience from across the IFS community. This book was created from a desire to honor those voices, and to acknowledge that wisdom in IFS doesn't live in one place or one person. It lives in relationship, in experience, and in the field as it evolves. Thank you for being a listener, for being part of this community, and for continuing to explore what becomes possible when Self leads. We hope that IFS Collected Wisdom can become a companion in your IFS journey. Here is a link to the IFS Collected Wisdom book contents.
In the therapy aspect you tend to work on learning to sit with each of the parts, hearing and respecting their roles, so you can better understand your own system and how to work alongside it. centered self: Compassionate, curious, calm, clear, courageous, confident, creative, connected. Present, patient, playful, persistent, and keeps perspective Exiles: wounded and carrying pain. Abandonment, fear, loneliness, shame, anxious, Protectors: firefighters and managers. Firefighters deal with immediate threats, Distract, avoid, dissociate, Mangers work to keep you from future problems. Hyper-vigilant, avoidant, The goal is to access the qualities of the Centered self to work with these wounded parts to Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sarah Ann Saeger, LPC, LCADC, LAMFT, is an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist who specializes in complex trauma, addiction, and relationships. She is trained in IFS and an array of somatic,attachment-informed therapies. Sarah shares psychoeducation and reflections on parts work and the healing journey on her Instagram and Substack platforms. She is dedicated to helping survivors embrace the wisdom of their whole selves, and she supports survivors in her PA-based therapy practice.In this episode, we explore parentification: what it is, how it develops, and the ways it can continue to shape our lives after childhood.We discuss what can happen when a child grows up feeling responsible for the emotional well-being of others, learns to suppress their own needs, and takes on roles that were never theirs to carry. We also unpack the many nuances of these experiences, recognizing that family, culture, and generation has its own context. In addition, we talk about what it can look like to incorporate Internal Family Systems (IFS) into the work of complex trauma and parentification. We discuss how these early roles can show up in adult relationships through familiar relational patterns and reenactments. This includes why we may find ourselves drawn to partners who reinforce what once felt familiar, along with the grief that can come from recognizing what we needed but didn't receive.FOLLOW SARAH:INSTA: @sarahannsaegerMORE INFO: LinktreeWORKBOOK: The Internal Family Systems Workbook For CPTSDSTAY CONNECTED:INSTA: @trustandthriveTIKOK: @trustandthriveTHREADS: @trustandthriveFACEBOOK: bit.ly/FBtaramontEMAIL: trustandthrive@gmail.com
Episode 93: Why do so many devoted mothers feel like they are falling short? In this episode, host Debra Sloss explores the emotional pressure mothers face when real parenting collides with idealized images of what motherhood is supposed to be. She is joined by psychotherapist and author Jessica Tomich Sorci, creator of the “Mom Parts Method,” and guests Amber Reis and Karen McWilliam. Using an Internal Family Systems lens, they explore guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, and self-criticism as “Mom Parts” that carry pain and unmet needs. They also discuss how meeting these parts with curiosity can support repair, self-compassion, and healing.
This week, Thomas sits down with mythologist Michael Meade for a conversation about initiations, awakenings, and how to access your innate gifts to be a transformative force in a world in crisis.Michael shares about his formative experience as a conscientious objector during the Vietnam War, and how the confinement, isolation, and trauma that he endured informed his spiritual development and life philosophy.He and Thomas look at the current uncertain state of the world where old structures are collapsing as a liminal space where the new world has not yet been born. Michael argues that healing and evolving into a better world requires us to be present with conflict, sustain soulful connections, maintain creative and contemplative practices, and find the courage from our heart to lean into our authentic, imperfect selves.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Rejection sensitivity can quietly shape addiction, relationships, and recovery.In this episode, we discuss why individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior often experience intense fear of rejection—not as an excuse for harmful choices, but as an invitation to deeper healing.You'll learn:Why rejection sensitivity developsHow shame reinforces addictive cyclesWhy recovery requires emotional resilienceThe difference between accountability and identityPractical ways to build emotional capacity and secure attachmentHealing isn't about becoming rejection-proof—it's about learning to experience discomfort without escaping it.Chapters02:48 Rejection as a Symptom 04:03 Childhood Roots07:32 Neurodivergence09:15 Addiction as Escape11:35 Secrecy and Shame Loop15:58 Identity vs Behavior19:13 Emotional Immaturity22:49 How to Heal RejectionWe'd love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Ep. 238 | In this brilliantly articulated and illuminating conversation, renowned international facilitator Thomas Hübl shares his deep understanding of the dynamics of collective trauma as well as practical wisdom about how we can heal the large, often inherited, wounds we carry. Thomas conveys the magnitude of problems created by shoving our collective wounds out of sight and mind, perhaps the worst consequence of which is when we do this, we are destined to repeat the same horrors over again. What we need, Thomas explains, is to develop an architecture that would provide a healing space to deal with our wounds (racism, genocide, and immigration, to name a few). Meeting our collective pain in this way would allow us to mature to a level of forgiveness where we could collaborate globally on urgent issues like AI and climate change. Without this healing, Thomas says, the energy that can forgive remains frozen in the wound.The dialogue becomes profoundly hopeful as Thomas describes someone who has met their pain and healed themselves of individual and collective trauma. Listening is like receiving a transmission—for a moment we feel ourselves to be this person: integrated, authentic, vulnerable, fully attuned to our reality, at peace with both the beauty and the difficulties, free of false hopes and unrealistic dreams. If we could embrace the power of collective healing that Thomas has witnessed again and again in his work, and “melt the permafrost of our collective trauma,” we could step out of the never-ending cycle of violence, cruelty, and misunderstanding that will otherwise continue to haunt us. This conversation goes right to the heart of things: if we recognize our interrelatedness and find a way to practice interdependence, we can grow beyond our individual and collective pain into a tremendously more hopeful future. Recorded October 30, 2025.“Unconscious information is destiny. Conscious information has a choice, has a future.”Topics & Time StampsIntroducing teacher, author & facilitator Thomas Hübl, who offers a deep understanding of collective trauma—and collective healing (00:49)How is Thomas able to stay attuned and hold this large field he works with? (02:43)Attunement is another way to say interdependence (05:56)A grounded spiritual practice helps to hold the space & learn from the process, rather than direct the process (06:57)How does Thomas understand the healing process? (10:51)Bringing awareness to a collective wound allows it to give its gift (14:03)Has Thomas found a way of working with the Israel/Gaza situation? (16:03)Hot trauma is different from historical or ancestral trauma (21:55)Without processes to deal with large wounds, the repetition compulsion will keep happening (23:00)How to deal with authoritarian regimes whitewashing history? (25:47)Huge trauma wounds in the U.S.: racism, genocide, and now immigration (27:07)We need a collective healing space; everybody who is alive has been born into this legacy and it has become normalized (28:22)In this global village, there is no “them” anymore (30:25) Cultural amnesia allows us to live with violence; nonviolence is a natural consequence of realizing interdependence (32:06)Ethics and health are inherently interrelated (34:17)You cannot erase history; it's a felt experience in our bodies (36:14) The exaggeration of separation & self-righteousness by social media (37:11)The reality we create with each other is painful; hope lies in a sense of agency (40:16) How can we forgive horrific violations of life? Melting the permafrost of our collective trauma (42:58) What does a person look like who has faced these deep issues and healed? (49:08) The power of healing collectives is very hopeful for accelerating social transformation (55:58)Resources & ReferencesThomas Hübl's website: https://thomashuebl.com/Thomas Hübl's podcast: Point of RelationThomas Hübl, Healing Collective TraumaThomas Hübl, Attuned: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—and Our WorldThomas Hübl & Richard Schwartz (founder of Internal Family Systems), Releasing Our Burdens: A Guide to Healing Individual, Ancestral, and Collective TraumaGlobal Restoration Institute, promoting global interconnectivity & long-term peace through integrating innovative trauma-informed practices with conflict resolution & prevention methods---Thomas Hübl, PhD, is a renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator who works within the complexity of systems and cultural change, integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. Since the early 2000s, he has led large-scale events and courses on the healing of collective trauma.Thomas is the author of Attuned: Practicing Interdependence to Heal Our Trauma—and Our World, Healing Collective Trauma: A Process for Integrating Our Intergenerational and Cultural Wounds, and most recently, co-author of Releasing Our Burdens: A Guide to Healing Individual, Ancestral, and Collective Trauma, with Richard Schwartz. Hübl has served as an advisor and guest faculty for universities and organizations, as a coach for CEOs and organizational leaders, and is currently a visiting scholar at the Wyss Institute at Harvard University.---Podcast produced by Vanessa Santos and Show Notes by Heidi Mitchell
This week, Thomas sits down with Dharma teacher and author Kaira Jewel Lingo to explore how we can heal our deeply fractured relationship with the Earth and break out of the modern digital trance.Kaira shares her unique experience of transitioning out of monastic life as a nun and back into a fast-paced digital world. This experience gave her a unique perspective on how technology consumes our attention, and what's needed to reconnect to our relationships, ourselves, our spirituality, and the earth.She and Thomas discuss how face-to-face connection can help us reclaim our presence, why our global crises stem from our disconnection with nature, and what's needed for a collective re-awakening into an interconnected and embodied life that's defined by care and curiosity instead of an isolated existence fueled by exploitation and inattention.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Writing an impact letter can feel overwhelming, emotional, and even re-traumatizing.So why do it?Amie and Alana unpack the purpose behind this powerful recovery tool, explain how it fits into therapeutic disclosure, and discuss why the greatest healing often comes from validating your own experience—not trying to convince your partner to understand.Chapters02:17 Where It Fits in Disclosure03:41 Timing and Personalization07:19 Grief and Ongoing Healing09:03 Your Story and Shared Grief16:44 Writing Makes It Real18:10 Stop Minimizing20:55 Write For You, Not ThemWe'd love to hear from you!Fill out this brief survey to let us know your feedback about the podcast!Register Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT. Housing accommodations available here.
Turning 40 inspired me to stop and reflect in a deeper way. In that reflection, I asked a question I hadn't asked in a while: which ideas have actually changed the way I live? Four rose above the rest (convenient since it was my 40th!), and one thing that surprised me is how they build on each other, almost like a manual for how to live. In this solo reflection, I walk through all four, along with the single thread that connects them: awareness/mindfulness comes before change, every time. Key insights include: Why alignment, not achievement, has been the biggest unlock for me, and ways to know when something is truly aligned. How meditation became less about reaching some blissful end state and more about being still enough to hear what's actually true (with a nod to "self vs. parts" from Internal Family Systems). Why identity is built through repetition, and how treating life as an ongoing experiment turns results into feedback instead of judgment. How your standards, what you're willing to tolerate on your lowest day, quietly shape your health, relationships, business, and even the standards your team accepts. The balancing act of not postponing your life for a "someday" that may never come, and why success should expand your life rather than delay it. Tune in for an honest look at how a decade of small shifts, and one big birthday, changed the way I make decisions - plus a simple one-question challenge to carry into your week. TRANSCRIPT: Garrett Salpeter (00:00.974) Hello, New Fit Nation. Welcome back to the Undercurrent Podcast. This is the first episode that I am recording in my 40s. I just turned 40, and that is actually the theme of today's episode because it certainly feels like a milestone. It has caused me to stop and reflect, and I'm going to share some of those reflections with you here today. In the recent years of Gone through periods of transition in business, in life, my kids have hit new milestones. This year, my daughter, older daughter started high school. I've also gone through some personal transitions with a separation and divorce. And all of this has caused me, especially in combination with with a significant birthday like this, caused me to look up from the day to day and ask some bigger questions and wonder if I'm living my life in the way that I wish to be living my life. I I look at and I think about. How I'm responsible for what has happened and is happening in my life. The one that immediately led to this episode, I also thought about and asked myself what ideas and principles have influenced me and actually changed the way that I live? And when I sat with that question, there's four principles that rose above the rest. So I was, as you can imagine, I was very excited to see that having four corresponds well with a 40th birthday. I'm glad the numbers work out. I also saw a common thread and realized that they're not necessarily four separate lessons, but that they build on each other. And there's almost a sequence that for me is like a manual for how to live. And that is what I want to share with you today. And before I get into that, a couple notes. One is that if you're familiar with me, with our work at Newfit, you know that for nearly 20 years now, for me it's it's all come back to one thing, which is the nervous system. And when we're Talking about the new fit method and the newbie, it all comes down to helping people retrain their nervous system. It's the operating system of the body. We want the whole system to be running better. And I, in reflection on these, I see how I've been doing the same type of thing with myself, trying to get my operating system to work better. And one of the biggest things that, as you know, the nervous system does it's to make us aware, aware of our internal and external. Garrett Salpeter (02:22.486) environments and so awareness is a thread that also ties together these four lessons that I'm going to share with you because each one of them is preceded by or begins with awareness with noticing noticing where I am where I'm not in alignment noticing what my habits are and how they're influencing my life noticing what I'm accepting or tolerating in my life and also noticing for me areas in which I've been postponing my life and waiting for something to happen so I could achieve something and then feel a certain way, things like that that that I'll get into here. So these are the four, I don't necessarily want to say lessons, but I'd say the four biggest shifts in how I've lived that really stand out to me as being very impactful. And my intention here and sharing them with you is that they'll also be worthwhile to you in some way. So on to the first shift. For me, it's all about alignment. This is number one, I'm choosing this first because choosing to share this first because I feel like alignment has been the biggest unlock for me in the sense that finding where I feel aligned or where I haven't felt aligned and how the decisions I made from that, I can see how things play out. And one of the first times where I really realized the the dark side of this of acting out of alignment was an issue with a a person I had worked with and I knew deep down inside that there wasn't alignment. It wasn't a good cultural fit. And I overrided or overrode that in part because of people pleasing tendencies, because it was difficult for me to have hard conversations and and let this person know what was problematic, what was not working, what needed to change, difficulty for me setting boundaries. And I also had this, this was very early on in my career, also had this sort of scarcity mindset as opposed to abundance mindset of like, gosh, can I ever find anyone else to work with me? You know, so there's this feeling of not being worthy, not being good enough, noticing these things certainly all influenced it. But in overriding that, I allowed to continue Garrett Salpeter (04:49.91) situations and dynamics that ended up costing far more in the long run, emotionally and monetarily, costing a lot more than the initial pain and cost or the immediate pain and cost would have been having a hard conversation up front or getting rid of a person, you know, who wasn't a good fit years ahead of when I finally found the courage and clarity to do it. And when I Look at at other times where I've made decisions that have come out of alignment. Like, for example, coming out of college, I had a physics undergraduate degree, and I was set to go to engineering graduate school at the University of Texas here in Austin, which is how I got down here. And it was a fabulous experience, and I'm so glad I did it. And I had options to take jobs. I had a job offer with a big consulting firm out of college. I had an opportunity to interview with a large, very well-known investment bank, which I may or may not have gotten a job, but I decided that I wanted to pursue this because it felt more aligned with who I was and what I was interested in doing. And that ended up being a great decision. And that engineering background ultimately gave me the the experience and the perspective to be able to lead the team that ultimately created the newbie device and do the things that I'm doing now. It was a big part of that journey. So I'm I'm so glad that I did it. Also early on in my career back when I was working in a clinic and I had this hundred and twenty square foot office in the chiropractic office, chiropractic clinic of the guy who was the U T Longhorns chiropractor, his private practice. I was using older versions of electrical stimulation. That's part of what led me to ultimately creating the newbie. And I you know, very young doing this, it wasn't sure no one was really sure where this was gonna go. Me l me most of all. but I I knew that I really want to do it. And there was a moment there when when Brianna and I, my former wife, got pregnant with our first daughter. And I was still in my early twenties and I was honestly scared. And there were some suggestions, like my father, for example, very reasonably and lovingly encouraged me to take my master's degree in engineering and go get a stable. Garrett Salpeter (07:13.814) job so I can provide for my family. And I understand and appreciate why he said that. And for me, I sat with that and realized that what I really wanted to do was to follow my heart and pursue this work, doing this clinic and this type of work that led to new fit and everything that that we're doing now. And I'm so glad I did it. And it came from alignment. So those are some examples of acting from alignment or overriding the internal knowing. and acting from a place of misalignment. So that to me, that really is the f foundational framework. And a big catalyst for me understanding this has been my experience in meditation over the last couple years. I probably first got interested in meditation From listening to and reading Sam Harris's work and conversations with my friend Wesley Cress, who's been on this podcast, and hearing his experiences and his his explanations of meditation really helped it resonate with me in a way that it got me interested in pursuing it. And I've done more formal work both with Shauna Shapiro and Corey Muscara. Shauna's been on the podcast as well. And I highly recommend both of their books and their online work and courses or in-person work and courses because For me, meditation has been the way to really clarify and crystallize this concept or operationalize this and bring it into my daily life, where a lot of times we think that meditation is about sitting still until we get to a place of bliss or happiness where nothing bothers us. But what it's really about, as I've learned from people like Corey and Shauna, what it's really about is Have being still enough so that we can be aware enough or mindfulness, right? Mindful enough to be aware of what's going on in our own experience. So that I can actually feel when something I'm contemplating doing is aligned or is not aligned. And the the framework that I really love here that I have started using w whenever I can is understanding when I'm making a decision. Garrett Salpeter (09:28.44) From a place of self or parts, using the language of internal family systems. Another great book recommendation is No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, Dick Schwartz, that describes this concept of internal family systems. When I'm making decisions from my true self, which you have a true self, I have a true self. We all have this true self, this place within us that is our deepest truth, where we feel clear and calm and confident and courageous and creative. And connected. There's these different C words that describe this state. Even just hearing those, you may feel some energy resonating. And the the parts are the different different patterns within ourselves that I alluded to earlier in my own experience, where I learned to act a certain way, you know, in people pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries. I had also learned that I felt like I had to achieve something in order to be worthy of love. And so these are the patterns. These patterns are parts. Of me and different parts can be online at different times and they can interact in certain ways, and I can be acting from certain parts or acting from self, those different places. And so meditation for me allows me to have the opportunity to slow down enough to drop in deeply enough to get clearer on what is my true motivation for doing something and making a decision. Is it aligned? Is it coming from a place of self or is it coming from a place of parts? And so the the question I really love to ask myself, which I got from Corey Muscara and his teaching is am I doing this? Am I considering doing this thing because I already feel complete as a person and it's aligned with my true desires? Or am I feeling empty inside and I'm choosing this thing as an attempt to grasp at something that might fill me up? Because we all know that that you know, getting past a certain point at least getting more money or getting a nicer house or a nicer watch or a nicer car, you know, we feel like that's gonna that's gonna be the thing that finally gets us happy. And we know that it doesn't work that way. But there's these patterns that I even will notice sometimes that I fall into. And it's the kind of underlying awareness of this alignment dynamic that helps me navigate this. And there's a few examples where I've seen my ego that Garrett Salpeter (11:50.307) that that part many many examples where I've seen that you know I was I was just reflecting in preparation for this like one for example doing what I do for work I I admittedly take a lot of pride in helping people get get results in sports medicine and rehabilitation and things like that and and with myself I put off for many years getting a hip surgery that I likely should have gotten earlier, and that I finally did get, and that was helpful. I got bone shaved down, bone spurs shaved down off the neck of my femur where I had a femoral acetabular impingement FAI. And I you know, I'm so glad I did it. But I put it off for a long time. I also noticed really interesting, after my first meditation retreat. I, as you likely can tell, you know, I read a ton of books, and I think a lot of the the where I am and what I've learned and who I've become is positively influenced by the books that I've read. And so I think that's wonderful. And I also at the same time observed that a lot of that came from a place of feeling somewhat empty or incomplete and thinking that if I was just a little bit smarter, If I knew a little bit more, then I'd be better, then I'd finally be worthy of some sort of status or love or belonging, some sort of internal drive like that. And I learned that some of that consumption of you know books, podcasts, etc., was some of that grasping trying to fill me up inside. And it was so interesting that after my first meditation retreat with Corey Muscara for a couple months. I I noticed that desire was significantly diminished. Where I you know, instead of always wanting to listen to a podcast or a book on tape audio book when I'm in the car, book on tape, they're not on tape anymore, but when I noticed that I would actually just enjoy sort of doing a breathing exercise or sitting and listening to music, things like that. It was it was an interesting shift. And so now I still read. Garrett Salpeter (13:59.679) And I ask myself if I'm doing it from some sort of compulsive desire to fill a perceived void, or if I'm doing it from a place of true interest and alignment. And it often is from a place of interest and alignment, but I really like that framework, and I felt compelled to share that with you. So I think the big, the big question that I would ask, and that I encourage everyone listening to this to ask, is It's not necessarily about following your passion, but following your alignments. I would ask you if what you're contemplating doing is truly aligned. And one exercise that that I have done in the past is actually close my eyes and consider a path A, consider a path B, and see how they feel in my nervous system. Because that often will give us a clue. It'll, you know, sometimes it's as dramatic as one path. will feel very constricting energetically and one will feel expansive, like it's giving us energy. And I've that's one thing that I've found is that if I'm doing things that could be objectively hard, even if it even if it is hard, it feels somewhat easier to me because that sense of alignment gives me energy and and it doesn't feel as hard. It makes makes having a going through difficult times in business or having a a a workout program sustainable. So I would ask myself and encourage you to ask yourself, where in my life am I choosing from emptiness rather than from fullness? Whatever, whatever that means to you. So that's the first the first one is is understanding alignment. And we really have to understand our identity, our true selves, who we are, what is most important to us, what we value, what what is in alignment with us at that deepest level. And then This second shift principle that I want to wanna share is how our identity is built through repetitions, how we are a culmination of our habits. And I think a lot about my life as an ongoing experiment. I think about my inputs that I do in my in my training and lifestyle, in my business, how I show up with my family and what you know what I do with my kids. And I look at the results that that come out of that. Think about it as as sort of one big ongoing experiment. There's also this great quote. Garrett Salpeter (16:25.578) Of attributed to Aristotle of we are what we repeatedly do. He talks about excellence is not an act, but it's a habit, because what we repeatedly do adds up to who we are. And so I think also in this sort of scientific ongoing experiment, results are feedback. They're not necessarily judgment. We don't fail, we gather information. I think that's a good mindset shift. I also think a lot about this in terms of Fitness and and health, which I think is a great metaphor for anything, because in fitness there is this balance of of work and and recovery and rest and regeneration. There's this this balance of delayed gratification of having to work for a period of time to see a result that comes later, of having to have faith in the process of of getting help and support and coaching and learning and and finding the most effective way, not the shortcut, but the most effective and direct path to your goal. So there's all these different lessons that I think extrapolate beautifully to all areas of life. And I I think a lot about the the way that what how what I do every day, how to have a daily routine. That helps me get to the levels of health and fitness and physical and mental performance and vitality that I wish to achieve for myself. So one thing that I'm working on is I'm generally very stiff. I have a background of ice hockey. As Greg Cook says, I was was one of these examples of someone building fitness on top of dysfunction. I didn't have my core movement fundamentals down, and yet I built a fair amount of size and strength and speed on top of that. And so couple that with playing ice hockey and being locked in that kind of half squat position with hips and external rotation, very little foot and ankle movement because the feet are locked in a in boots, you know, ice hockey boots, the skates, and all that leads to significant mobility restrictions that now I want to work on. And so I think about how my habits influence that. And there's things that I do to work on hip internal rotation. Garrett Salpeter (18:38.638) And I do those six or seven days a week. I work it into my plan. And over time, it's been so cool to see my hip internal rotation go from generously zero degrees to you know 15, 20 degrees. It's still not, you know, anatomically ideal, but it's gotten a lot better. And it's cool to see the progress, even in something that's as slow to change as structural remodeling of joint capsules. And I think this is a great. prompt for us all to look at our habits. You know, if someone all also going back to fitness, there's a great a great quote that the body you have is the body you've earned. So how if we're if we're not as strong in a certain area or we're several pounds overweight or you know, there's there's likely some reason for it. And it's sometimes not the individual's fault. Sometimes there's there's toxic exposure or things like that that's out of their control that's causing more inflammation that That throws things off or some disease state. And oftentimes once once we know about it, then there's things that we can do about it. So there's certainly the I think a lot of value in understanding that our life now is the culmination of our habits and really examining and evaluating those and making sure that yes, they are aligned. So we have number one being alignment, number two being habits, repetition, how that how that builds upon and cements our identity. And then related is number three, which is the standards. There's this great saying that we get what we tolerate. There's there's our our standards really shape our lives. And so for me right now, I actually just keeping on the fitness metaphor, one of my standards is being able to to sprint all out. And I'm dealing with an Achilles injury that is very frustrating to me because I'm currently not able to meet my own standard. And because I take that standard seriously, it creates within me a sense of urgency where I'm rehabbing my Achilles very diligently. And it's difficult for me to be patient and understand that it can take, you know, several months for tendon tissue to remodel. And that's actually the subject of what will probably be the next podcast we release. a little bit of a foreshadowing there. Garrett Salpeter (21:02.536) on on Achilles tendon injuries and recovery from surgery and that whole topic. That's something that I'm diving into, trying to l really learn as much about as I can, both out of interest and a desire to share it and this personal desire to get back to my standard, where by the end of this summer, I intend to be able to get back to at least my weekly sprinting. So that's something that I I I think a lot about and that is is very important to me in terms of what we tolerate there that's both within ourselves and it's with you know the people that work within our businesses. It's fit within family members and friends and things like that. It's sort of this not just what we do on our best day or when we hit our stretch goal, but it's what do we tolerate on the the floor on our the lowest day. And it's important in in business. You know, we're not going to hit our stretch goal every every week, every month, every quarter, every year, but if there's a minimum number of calls that we're going to make or if there's a minimum number of some effort that we're going to make. If we hold ourselves to that, chances are we're going to better over time. Same thing in the gym. If you you're not going to set a PR every day, but if you're going to continue working and getting better and following the program, that often leads to a great place in the long term. for me, one one standard is my bedtime. I will occasionally occasionally stay out late for a special event or something like that. If I really feel like and this plays into number four where I I'm I'm focusing on yes, delayed gratification is important, but I don't want to delay everything for a someday that may never come. So every once in a while I'll do this. But generally speaking, I'm very diligent about my bedtime because I know that if I if I don't go to bed on time, I'm not gonna be as effective the next day. It's gonna throw off different aspects of my vitality and energy and and mental and physical ability. And so if I have something to do, one, having a being more strict with my bedtime, it forces me to prioritize getting shit done during the day, pardon my language. And it also, you know, it makes it clear for me if I have something that I need to work on, I I will choose to to go to bed earlier and then work get up earlier and work on it in the morning rather than stay up and and do it that night. Garrett Salpeter (23:25.196) because that will I know that the outcome is gonna be better if I go to bed now and get up and do it in the morning in in in many ways. So there's a lot a lot of ways that That affects me. And that's one that's important for me. You know, for some people, it's a minimum number of pages that they're going to read in a book per day or whatever it might be. People have a devotional or they just want to read different different things. Or meditation. For me, I think about the minimum number of minutes per day or days per year that I'm going to meditate. But the standards that we hold ourselves to apply everywhere in health and recovery, in relationships, in our self-talk, in our environment and our finances and our businesses and the standards that I as a leader accept from myself become the standards that our team accepts too. So especially for those of you who are leading teams and businesses or leading leading within your family and home life, this is this is very important as well. So I think it's best summed up in that the the quote that I've heard many places, I don't know where it originally came from, but we don't get what we want, we get what we tolerate. So I encourage you to ask what what you and I will ask myself, what have I quietly or not so quietly started to tolerate that I never used to or that is not in alignment with who I wish to be and how I wish to live my life and how I wish my business to be and how I wish my family to be, et cetera. And that segues into the fourth shift. And this is, you know, if we talk about alignment with our identity, we talk about reinforcing that identity and number two, through our habits. We talk about preserving that through the standards and what we're willing to accept. Number four is about rounding out that identity because I know that I was, especially in the early New Fit years, I was very much in this trap of optimizing everything for later. Garrett Salpeter (25:23.31) Putting off most of everything now, thinking that once this business grows, once I achieve a certain level of success, then I'll be able to enjoy my life, then I'll be happy, then this, then that. So it's this notion of journey over destination, process over outcome, or something like that. So I I just I want to also frame this up as a continuum, because on one hand, there's what I just described, there's putting off entirely putting off the future, d entirely delayed gratification, and not enjoying anything right now. And then on the other end, there's like total nihilism or or not caring about later and just wanting just enjoying today and not planning for the future at all. And so what I'm proposing where I've settled on this balance for myself and it can be personal for everybody, where I've settled on this is is somewhere in between. Where I do I do work hard now for where That will bring our business and and my family in the future. I work hard now for where my that will bring my health in the future, right? I want to be healthy and vital in my next decade, in the decade after that, and the decade after that, which God willing I will live to see. And I I so I wanna I want to strike that balancing act. But there's there's a great book that I highly recommend called The Happiness Advantage by sh I believe it's Sean Acor. and it it talks about how many of us fall into this same trap of thinking that if I if I achieve this now, this promotion or make this amount of money or have this or that, then I'll be happy. And it's so amazing that he shifts that on his head. He talks about the r how the research says quite the opposite. How if if we're happy now, we're actually more likely to achieve the thing that we wish to achieve. Because Generally speaking, happiness makes people healthier, more resistant to getting sick, more effective, more creative, gives them more energy, more health and vitality. And that, of course, makes it more likely that they will achieve the thing that they're setting out to achieve, assuming it is back to number one, assuming it is aligned with their true selves and deepest desires and and all that. And so for me, this has really Garrett Salpeter (27:50.669) manifested in a couple of ways. It's something that I I read about and I I I was aware of this notion and it just sort of gradually hit me that I was putting off so much of my life for later. And so I I finally just somehow, some way crossed over that threshold where I realized that I do need to make time to enjoy life now. along the way, even as I'm practicing delayed gratification in certain important areas. And so taking my kids several years ago on a trip to Spain over the summer for a week and a half was an amazing memory. Taking them this year to Disney World, you know, creating these memories while my kids are still young enough to to make these memories, there's a great concept of memory dividends. I forget the I think I first heard about this from the guy who wrote Die with Zero. I've gosh, I can see his face. I forget his name now. He's here in Austin. Cool, really cool guy. And he talks about this notion of Die with Zero being that if we accumulate all this money, we should actually enjoy it in this life. You should give it away because that will create joy. We should also invest in experiences because it creates these memory dividends. You know, having the memories from these different trips with my kids is worth is worth so much more. I'm getting a return on that investment, more than if it was sitting an account earning interest somewhere. Also for me, I joined EO and and a forum. EO is an entrepreneurs organization, similar to YPO if you're familiar that. And it's all all founders, all business owners. And so I'm in this forum with anywhere from seven to nine other guys. And we do these adventure trips every year. And that was something that I sort of I realized along the way that I just wasn't I was putting off for later the idea of having you know friendships and social relationships. And I finally realized, you know what, I I would like to have more of that in my life now. I would like to prioritize and make some time for that. And we've done these amazing adventure trips. We've gone hiking twenty miles through the narrows in Zion National Park and kayaking and fishing in the San Juan Islands between Seattle and Vancouver. And just this year, camping and fishing and Garrett Salpeter (30:05.624) Hiking in Colorado along the Gunnison River. You know, my first time I was kind of a city kid. these trips allowed me to go camping for the first time in my life, which was amazing. And so I I encourage you to consider what this right balance is for you. Again, it's very individual. Consider where this where this where you fall along that spectrum. And if if it falls into wanting to play more golf now rather than waiting until you're retired, give me a call and play a r play around of golf. So again, it's not not about like being anti discipline or being reckless. There are areas where we still have to sacrifice. It is it is a balancing act. And I think there's there's this sense that success should expand our lives, not necessarily postpone it. So I will Ask you, what are you postponing in your life that you actually could start living now? And as we wrap this up here, I will end where I started with talking about turning 40. And when I was younger, I was so focused on on life and on focusing my life on becoming successful, whatever that meant at the time. And I really believe that if I just worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, delayed enough that Everything else, the happiness, relationships with life, would it would all sort itself out later. Now I I I'm grateful that that younger version of me put so much time and effort into learning and and beginning, building the early stages of new fit and all that. And now I I am grateful for the added perspective and experience too, where I realize that it's not it's not just about becoming more. accomplished and achieving more, it's also about alignment. And when I think about alignment, that actually helps produce more success than than some of the other tactics and strategies and and mindsets too. So it's interesting how these four can also interact as well. And again, this was Garrett Salpeter (32:28.576) not necessarily a a dramatic overhaul, but it came from noticing from awareness. And so I I hope that you can have some sort of practice, and perhaps you already do, that has been as meaningful to me as this meditation practice in in becoming aware of these different dynamics in my own life. And in closing, I'd like to leave you with one small challenge. Pick one of these four that hit you the hardest, whether it be focusing on alignment, your habits, your standards, and what you tolerate, and or balancing. work now sacrificing now for something later figure out which of those four hit you the hardest and this week ask yourself the question where are you choosing from act from empty instead of full? What are your daily inputs building you into? What have you started to tolerate that you no longer intend to tolerate? Or finally, what are you putting off? that you feel like deep inside you really would be better served by doing now. So I I really appreciate you spending this time with me. If this one resonated, I'd love to hear your comments on the social media or direct message, anything like that. And I look forward to seeing you on the next episode of the Undercurrent podcast.
This week, Thomas shares a teaching on creating conscious inner spaciousness to process life's challenges and use them as engines for personal and spiritual growth.By opening up space for a larger “cup” to hold our wounds and traumas, we can address and understand them without being defined by them. Having this space also allows us to shift from a state of habitual, past-focused attention to one of conscious presence.Thomas shares how integrating the past in this way brings in new light and new possibilities, enables us to mature and grow (both personally and collectively), and disrupts patterns of intergenerational trauma.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
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It's one of the most common—and heartbreaking—questions after betrayal trauma.This week Amie and Alana discuss what healing actually looks like after betrayal trauma, why recovery often feels painfully slow, and the practices that truly help. They explore support groups, self-compassion, psychoeducation, nervous system healing, somatic work, family-of-origin healing, and the obstacles that can quietly keep us stuck.Most importantly, this episode offers hope. Even if you can't see it today, healing is possible. If you're in the middle of the darkness, keep listening.Chapters01:14 Will I Ever Heal?2:00 Personal Story05:01 Darkness to Sunrise Metaphor07:47 Early Stage Healing Tools11:03 Real Self-Care Explained16:51 Psychoeducation and Roadmap21:24 What Hinders Healing25:14 Advanced Somatic Work32:15 There is HopeRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
When you've been brought up in a culture of right versus wrong polarity, how do you navigate your way out of that maze as it's falling apart all around you? Gazit Chaya is here to share wisdom gained from leaving fundamentally evangelical Christianity, and building a life truly worth living that honors their core values. Join us to find out more! Gazit Chaya has survived several traumatic brain injuries and decades of anxiety, neurodivergence and depressing thoughts of self harm. Gazit has experienced the challenges of divorce, lived with postpartum depression, gotten through a stay in a psych hospital and survived a suicide attempt. For over 15 years, Gazit Chaya was a speech language pathologist in public schools trained specifically to work with children with autism. Gazit is also a mental health Coach, a YouTuber, a Public Speaker, and an Educator, teaching workshops about trauma recovery and nervous system regulation. They are the founder of The Luria Center, a resource for personal development as well as the Author of Holy Shit. Gazit Chaya helps clients by using a combination of the following protocols; Certified Somatic Parts Work, Safe and Sound Protocol, Values Based Integration Process, The work of Byron Katie, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and Internal Family Systems. Watch or listen to the show to learn how you can build a life truly worth living. You’re Invited! GAZIT CHAYA BIO Gazit Chaya Nkosi (they/m) is guided by the Rumi line, “Out beyond right doing and wrongdoing there is a field—I'll meet you there.” Their first 35 years were spent trying to be good while navigating chronic anxiety, suicidality, sensory sensitivity, and social communication mismatches. Postpartum depression brought them to a rock bottom that became a portal to a place where “good” was no longer the goal. This led to a new paradigm in which they began creating a life truly worth living, one filled with special interests, plenty of free and unstructured time, and work that is truly aligned. Gazit Chaya now sojourns with other souls interested in letting go of culture and coming back to Self, meeting one another in the field beyond right and wrong through somatic parts work, The Work of Byron Katie, the Values Based Integration Process, and the Safe and Sound Protocol. LINKS Web: www.therootedcoop.com YouTube: www.youtube.com/@therootedcoop LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gazitchayankosi/ YOUR GUIDE TO SOUL NECTAR: KERRI HUMMINGBIRD Kerri Hummingbird, Medicine Woman, Mother and Mentor, is the Founder of Inner Medicine Training, a Mystery School that shares potent ancient traditions from the Andes and Himalayas for owning your wisdom and living your purpose. 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As a medicine woman, I guide you to the next deepest understanding and embodiment of yourself as a spiritual being. Whether you receive a shamanic healing session, participate in the Reinvent Yourself Training program, or join us for Inner Medicine Training, one thing is certain: you will connect more deeply with your true self and learn to navigate the changes in your life from an empowered space within. SCHEDULE A FREE DISCOVERY SESSION: https://tinyurl.com/SoulNectarChat JOIN SOUL NECTAR TRIBE! https://kerrihummingbird.com/membership In Soul Nectar Tribe, we are joining forces to influence a new conversation on the planet…one that respects and honors all of life and looks forward seven generations to ensure the consequences of our actions are what we choose to create for our descendents. When we join our sparks together in community and comraderie, we become a powerful beacon of light and hope. FREE GIFTS! 1. Receive the free Reinvent Yourself ebook and guided meditations at http://www.kerrihummingbird.com/gift 2. Receive the Second Wave Guided Meditation Pack for free at http://www.thesecondwave.media LINKS FOR KERRI HUMMINGBIRD Website: www.kerrihummingbird.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kerri.hummingbird.sami Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kerri.hummingbird/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@soulnectarshow LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerrihummingbird/
Support the boys:PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypodMERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.comPsychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value!BetterHelp: If you're struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsoredIf you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsoredhttp://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women's reproductive resources_____We unpack why rejection hurts even when you don't want what you were rejected from. What begins as a conversation about not being invited to a wedding turns into a deeper exploration of ego, attachment, validation, friendship, and the stories we tell ourselves when we feel left out.Then the conversation shifts into an eye-opening therapy session using Parts Work (Internal Family Systems / IFS), where hidden emotional "parts" begin to reveal themselves. Anxiety, anger, people pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict all collide in an honest discussion about why expressing anger can feel so dangerous—and how childhood conditioning can shape the way we react as adults.If you've ever struggled with rejection sensitivity, conflict avoidance, emotional regulation, overthinking, anxiety, or understanding your own emotional triggers, this episode will probably feel uncomfortably familiar.BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.comFollow us here:http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypodhttp://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypodContact us:secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com818-850-2448PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105Cover Art Design: Louie PaolettiTheme Music: Jamie FranksTopics include: Parts Work (IFS), Internal Family Systems therapy, anxiety, anger, emotional healing, rejection, friendship, people pleasing, attachment, emotional regulation, trauma responses, boundaries, therapy, self-awareness, vulnerability, relationships, personal growth, mental health, emotional intelligence, and healing childhood patterns.
Parts Work, Self Energy & Healing in Difficult Environments: Q&A with Mike, Part TwoMe and Mike are back, and this one goes deep.We received so many beautiful, brave questions from listeners after our first conversation about parts work and Internal Family Systems. So we sat down together and worked through four of them in real time, the way we always do, naturally, honestly and without a script. This is one of those conversations that kept surprising me as it unfolded.This episode is for you if:You understand parts work intellectually but struggle to actually access self energy when you need itYou find it easy to feel compassion for others but the moment you turn it inward, a critical or shaming part takes overYou are trying to heal while still living in the environment where the wounds happenedYou experience compulsive movement and feel stuck between knowing what you need and being unable to act on itYou want to understand how to use your own anger, determination and drive as fuel for healing, not just obstacles to overcomeIn this episode, we cover:✨ How to access the compassionate parent part when a critical protector keeps taking over✨ Why the part that reminds you of your dad showing up in self-work makes complete and understandable sense✨ The difference between being caught up in a part and being in self, and why it is often far more subtle than we expect✨ Why the one asking the questions and noticing what is happening is already self✨ Healing while living with emotionally unavailable parents: is it possible, and what does it actually look like✨ Grief and acceptance as the real foundation of healing in a triggering environment✨ How to use triggers as invitations to turn towards the parts that need you, rather than evidence that you are failing✨ The question to ask every single part that wants to do something harmful: what are you afraid would happen if you didn't?✨ Compulsive movement, the biological migration response and the parts work layer underneath✨ Why self never tells a part what it should or should not do, and why the voice saying "stop this behaviour" is probably another part✨ Using anger, resentment and the overachiever energy to fuel recovery, and why that is not anti-parts work at all✨ Why parts never really want to do the harmful things they do, they just do not yet know there is another way✨ What it looks like when a part finally trusts self enough to stop the behaviour it has been using to stay safePowerful quotes from the episode:
Send us Fan Mail Trauma isn't only what happens to you. Sometimes it's what happens inside you when you keep witnessing the unbearable and still decide to serve. I'm joined by David Small, who has spent the last decade working alongside the Burma Rangers in Myanmar's long-running civil war, and who recently wrote *Nameless Faceless People* about that journey. We get honest about what repeated exposure to violence, displacement, and loss does to the mind and body, especially when you voluntarily step into a conflict zone. We talk about why “trauma” can feel like a buzzword in the West, and how that cultural noise can make it harder to admit the real thing. David offers a clear lens: trauma grows when an experience is both overwhelming and out of your control. He shares a simple daily check-in question he used with his team, plus the “backpack of rocks” metaphor for how stress and grief accumulate quietly until you feel stuck, numb, or exhausted. From there, we move into grief that comes in waves, the role of purpose and calling, and the reality of coping behaviours like alcohol dependency among young soldiers and displaced students. David also shares what he's learned running the Jungle Discipleship School, including a powerful link between nutrition, food security, and mental health: when students know they'll eat tomorrow, they can finally start dreaming about next year. We close with practical hope through community, counselling, and Internal Family Systems ideas about welcoming every part of ourselves without losing our way. If this conversation helps you name what you're carrying, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find it. Connect With David Small: Website: junglediscipleshipschool.com Book: Nameless Faceless People: Ten Years With The Free Burma Rangers — available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble Instagram: instagram.com/junglediscipleshipschool Facebook: facebook.com/junglediscipleshipschool X: x.com/davidsmallxJDS Support the show Want to Be a Guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life?
Have you ever felt like you've done all the inner work... yet one fear refuses to leave? In this compassionate and eye-opening coaching session, Christine works with Ilaria, who has spent years in therapy, practicing breathwork, nervous system regulation, and inner child healing. Yet one fear continues to consume her: the overwhelming fear of losing her parents. As she approaches her mid-thirties and begins thinking about creating a life of her own—finding a partner, becoming more independent, and stepping into her future—the fear grows even stronger. Why? Because underneath the anxiety isn't simply a fear of loss. It's a younger part of her that believes worrying is the only way to protect the people she loves. Christine introduces Ilaria to the powerful framework of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Parts Work, helping her recognize that this fear isn't all of who she is—it's one protective part that's been trying to keep her safe since childhood. Together they explore acceptance, self-compassion, nervous system healing, and why sometimes the greatest breakthrough comes not from trying harder to fix ourselves, but from changing how we relate to the parts of us that are hurting. If you've ever felt trapped by anxiety, worried constantly about the people you love, or wondered why years of healing haven't made a particular fear disappear, this episode offers a deeply hopeful new perspective. Press play to discover how accepting your fear—rather than fighting it—may be the very thing that finally brings you peace. Consider / Ask Yourself Is there a fear you've been trying to eliminate for years without success? Do you constantly worry about losing the people you love? Have you confused your anxiety with your identity? Could one protective part of you be trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how? Key Insights and A-Ha's Anxiety doesn't define you—it may simply be one protective part of your inner world. Healing isn't always about eliminating fear; sometimes it's about changing your relationship to it. Love and fear often become intertwined, making it difficult to experience one without the other. Parts Work (IFS) helps create compassion for protective patterns instead of fighting against them. Nothing truly heals through judgment—acceptance creates space for transformation. How to Deepen the Work Notice when fear shows up, and gently ask yourself, "Which part of me is speaking right now?" Practice separating your identity from your anxious thoughts: "This is a part of me, not all of me." Explore Parts Work or Internal Family Systems with a trained practitioner if this approach resonates. Allow yourself to fully experience love without assuming fear must always accompany it. Resources Mentioned in This Episode Featured Sponsor: Peluva Barefoot Shoes Christine shares why she loves Peluva, a minimalist five-toe shoe designed to strengthen the feet, encourage natural movement, and improve overall foot health. Use code CHRISTINE for 10% off your first pair. Visit: peluva.com Internal Family Systems (IFS) Christine recommends learning more about Parts Work (Internal Family Systems) and references her previous podcast conversation with Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, along with his book: No Bad Parts These resources offer a deeper understanding of how protective parts shape our emotional lives and how compassion can create lasting healing. Social Media + Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler @ChristineHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Email: jill@christinehassler.com — For information on any of my services! Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show! Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches!
If you've ever wondered why insight alone hasn't been enough to heal your trauma, this episode is your answer. We're going all the way back to fundamentals with a real somatic therapy 101, covering what somatic therapy actually is, how the nervous system holds onto trauma, and why healing from CPTSD requires more than just understanding your story.In this episode, we cover:Why trauma is a biological response, not just a psychological one (and what that means for your healing)The actual definition of somatic therapy, and the myths the internet keeps getting wrongA quick look at nervous system states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal, and why they matter for complex trauma specificallyWhat your window of tolerance is, and why it can narrow over timeTitration and pendulation: how somatic therapists help your body approach painful material safelyHow parts work (Internal Family Systems) connects directly to your nervous system statesWhy EMDR is a somatic therapy, not just "the eye movement thing"A nuanced conversation about The Body Keeps the Score and where current research agrees and pushes backWhether you're a trauma survivor trying to understand your own healing, or a fellow therapist looking for a clear, clinically grounded refresher, this episode is built to meet you where you are.Mentioned in this episode: Fawning as a Trauma Response episode Inner Child Healing and Reparenting episodeThanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform.Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcswLearn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim TherapyThis podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
Wait...I Can Transform My Relationship in Just 42 Days? Join us on this episode of Shameless Sex as we give away all of the prime tips from the game-changing Intimacy Rewired course with the masterminds behind it, Ian Stratton and Amy Baldwin. You'll get the inside scoop on their 6-week program that has already changed the lives of many, and we're giving away the top takeaways so you can start applying the life-changing tools right now. Here's what you'll learn: * The pillars of Intimacy Rewired and how they can help you break free from patterns that hold you back and go from good to great in the bedroom and beyond * How to master the art of communication and become a pleasure expert in the bedroom * Techniques to kick shame to the curb and move towards deep love and connection * How to integrate active learning and practical tools that actually stick to transform your intimacy Ian Stratton, a seasoned healing expert with a passion for making personal growth accessible, and Amy Baldwin, with her signature enthusiasm, have joined forces to create a program that's not just informative but also fun and engaging. With their unique blend of Internal Family Systems, somatic psychotherapy, and more, they'll guide you through the journey of transformation. As a listener, you'll not only get the exclusive lowdown on Intimacy Rewired, but you'll also score a special discount when you sign up. Just head to https://intimacyrewired.com and mention the show to get started and get a special discount. Tune in to this episode to get ready to rewire your intimacy and transform your relationship. We give you the tools. Now all you have to do is listen and start to practice! Come to our October 2026 Couple's retreats! Learn more and reserve your spot here: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat Do you love us? Do you REALLY love us? Then order our book now! Go to shamelesssex.com to snag your copy Support Shameless Sex by sending us gifts via our Amazon Wish List Follow us on IG @shamelesssexpodcast Other links: Up-level your life and get at least 15% off any annual membership at http://masterclass.com/shameless Get 10% off + free shipping with code SHAMELESS on Uberlube AKA our favorite lubricant at http://uberlube.com Get 15% off the best sex toys with code SHAMELESSSEX at http://purepleasureshop.com Work with some of our favorite sexual health and hormone specialists at https://swanmd.com + mention Shameless Sex for a discount
This week, Thomas sits down with the CEO of the Grameen Foundation, Zubaida Bai, for an inspiring conversation about amplifying oppressed voices, economically empowering women, and creating cultural and systemic changes to end poverty.Zubaida has spent decades working within impoverished communities across the globe to create adaptive, localized strategies to change outdated attitudes, make childbirth safer, and get women much-needed access to capital to ensure their long-term financial viability. Her holistic approach to poverty alleviation combines empathetic, culturally sensitive relationship building with a deep understanding of climate change, technology, and financial access. She and Thomas discuss how to create sustainable interventions and innovations for those in impoverished areas, and why it's so important to uplift the voices and struggles of women and mothers in the fight against poverty.✨ Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube:
Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing
Why does accountability feel so difficult after betrayal?For many betrayed partners, the answer seems obvious: if someone truly understood the pain they caused, they would simply own it.But healing is often more complicated.This week Alana explores why accountability can feel emotionally threatening for those who have betrayed a partner—not as an excuse, but as a pathway toward understanding the barriers that prevent true repair.You'll learn:The role shame plays in defensivenessHow nervous system responses can block empathyWhy self-hatred isn't accountabilityWhat betrayed partners should watch for when accountability never comesIf you're navigating betrayal trauma, compulsive sexual behavior recovery, or rebuilding trust after infidelity, this episode offers practical insights grounded in trauma-informed care.Chapters01:40 Why Accountability Feels Threatening03:22 Identity Death and Safety11:11 Grieving the False Self13:20 Mistakes Mean Rejection18:44 Emotional Capacity for Repair25:07 When Accountability is Missing28:25 How Betrayers Build AccountabilityRegister Now!***Use code PODCAST150 to get $150 off any Choose intensive or retreat in 2026!***Courage to Thrive - Join us for this healing retreat for women who have experienced betrayal trauma. It offers a safe, supportive space to process pain, reconnect with yourself, and begin moving forward with strength and hope. Through guided workshops, therapeutic support, and restorative experiences, women leave feeling seen, empowered, and less alone. August 25-28, 2026 in Spanish Fork, Utah. Reclaimed: A Men's Parts-Work Intensive - A transformative 4-day intensive for men in recovery from problematic sexual behaviors, using the Internal Family Systems model to help participants deepen emotional healing, reduce shame, understand their inner world, and live with greater authenticity and wholeness. August 18-21 in Spanish Fork, UT.
Download a PDF of Dr. Amalu's dissertation: https://www.mediafire.com/file_premium/8yt9aur8ixed59q/Amalu_Final_Dissertation.pdf/fileHis private practice: https://www.deeprenewalpsychotherapy.com/Dr. Peter Martin's practice: https://www.immaculateheartcounseling.org/The CCMMP is here: https://divinemercy.edu/department-integrative-studies/catholic-christian-meta-model-of-the-person-ccmmp/Dr. Anthony Flood's book: https://www.cuapress.org/9780813234205/the-metaphysical-foundations-of-love/Dr. Monty De La Torre's article on the 8 Cs and virtue: https://www.soulsandhearts.com/blog/8cs-of-ifs-and-their-connection-to-the-virtues/IIC 169 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM3OcGYDJE8Summary: Measuring IFS by the gold standard of Catholicity for therapeutic approaches – that's what Catholic psychologists Christian Amalu, Peter Martin, and Peter Malinoski are exploring today. The Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person (CCMMP) by Dr. Paul Vitz, Dr. William Nordling, and Dr. Craig Titus systematizes the 11 essential dimensions of a person that need to be respected in seeking to heal and change. How does IFS stack up to those dimensions? How must it be adapted to be fully Catholic? And how can IFS even inform the CCMMP in some important ways? Join us and find out. Key moments:11:55 Dr. Amalu and Dr. Peter meet for the first time..14:15 The very beginnings of the Catholic Christian Meta-Model of the Person in 200517:10 What the CCMMP offers: 1) a true and authentic representation of all of the elements that when put together is the human person; 2) providing a normative framework that defines what a human being ought to be and what flourishing looks like; 3) bringing together a Catholic understanding of philosophy and theology, and grounding psychology in what we know to be true by Divine Revelation28:30 Dr. Amalu describes his dissertation, evaluating IFS through the lens of the CCMMP, bringing IFS into dialogue with the Catholic Faith.32:40 How can IFS engage in the Christian project of healing? 40:24 The dissertation can help Catholics understand why they can trust parts and systems approaches, including IFS, with some modifications, which Dr. Amalu lays out45:19 Catholic virtue from an IFS perspective, bringing in the 8 Cs and the 5 Ps of IFS51:45 Dr. Richard Schwartz: “The parts are crying out for redemption.”55:00 How Schwartz stumbled onto a naturalistic religion.57:50 How IFS helps us not only to love our parts in an ordered way, but to like our parts59:15 The importance of playfulness and delight. “It's wonderful that you exist.”1:03:36 How so many people leave the Catholic Church because they don't believe it has the answers to the human formation issues that trouble them1:05:00 Does IFS nuance, extend, or expand any of the premises of the CCMMP? Some limitations of the CCMMP. How IFS and the CCMMP could inform each other. Trauma, the unconscious, parts and systems thinking, and the relationship to self (self-love) are not addressed in the CCMMP. Does IFS nuance any of the premises of the CCMMP?1:16:51 Progression from self-awareness to self-possession to self-gift as the US Bishops describe. 1:18:50 St. Maximus describes the human person is a microcosm of the cosmos, a small little cosmos within that reflects the entirety of all creation. Humankind is the nexus point of the contact between created reality and the divine. If you do our own internal work, it's going to lift everybody else up in the Mystical Body of Christ, and it will have a positive impact on the rest of the cosmos.1:23:30 The importance of mercy in whatever model of the human person you use. 1:25:30 What helps all of you to flourish? Including your exiled parts. 1:03:40 Pope Benedict: Healing is an essential dimension of the mission of Christianity. Healing is holiness. “Love each other from an undivided heart.”
One of our most-loved conversations is back! In this powerful episode, somatic practitioner Sarah Baldwin joins Jessica for a masterclass in understanding the invisible walls that hold us back, building the capacity to receive more goodness, and becoming the loving protector our younger selves needed. They explore the often-missed connection between manifestation, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, and self-worth, unpacking the invisible patterns that keep us stuck in procrastination, self-sabotage, and fear—even when we know exactly what we want. Through personal stories, vulnerability, and practical insight, Sarah and Jessica reveal why so many of us struggle to take aligned action toward love, purpose, abundance, visibility, and fulfillment—and what it takes to finally move forward. If you've ever wondered why you can envision your future but struggle to embody it, why success can feel overwhelming, or why your deepest desires trigger your deepest fears, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap forward. This conversation shines a light on the subconscious and nervous system blocks we're actively working through in the Be Seen Challenge. Take the kickoff quiz in the TBM app and take the first step toward becoming your most visible, authentic, and magnetic self. Find the complete show notes here → https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast Resources: The Be Seen Challenge Stop playing small in your career, relationships, and life and step into your magnetic, expressed power. Now LIVE inside The Pathway. Summer Sale: $23/Month Start your manifestation journey at our lowest price of the season: $23/month! Join now and step into the Be Seen Challenge with us before this offer ends. Free Masterclass: Step Into Your F*ck It Energy If you missed our live masterclass with Lacy and Jessica — don't worry, you can still watch the replay! Learn how to step into your f*ck it energy and feel genuinely safe being seen. Join the Pathway Membership Use code EXPANDED for 20% off your first month! The Pathway Membership gives you unlimited access to all of our manifestation workshops—including How to Manifest, Unblocking Your Inner Child, Shadow, Love, Money, Rock Bottoms, Ruts, and Energetic Updates —plus 70+ self-hypnosis tracks designed to unlock your full potential. LEARN MORE HERE Get the latest from TBM Join the Pathway now - Return to Magic Challenge, Money Challenge, and Nervous System Reset available now! New to TBM? Free Offerings to Get You Started Learn the Process! Expanded Podcast - How to Manifest Anything You Desire Get Expanded! The Motivation - Testimonial Library Ready to find out what's holding you back? Try our Free Clarity Exercise Be an EXPANDER! Share Your Manifestation Story Submit to Be a Process Guest What did you manifest during the Return to Magic Challenge? Share a voice note of your question, block, or Process to be featured in an episode! This Episode Is Brought to You By: Bon Charge - 15% off with code MAGNETIC Infrared PEMF Mat The BON CHARGE Infrared PEMF Mat is my absolute go-to product! I use it almost daily to ground my nervous system, drop in deeper into my meditations & help my body recover after big hikes. The highest quality and most biohacking stacked mat I've seen on the market! Use code MAGNETIC at checkout for 15% off. us.boncharge.com/MAGNETIC Anima Mundi - Use code TBM20 for 20% off purchase CEREBRUM Tonic | Nootropic + Cognitive Support* RELAX Tonic | Support for Balance + Calmness* In this episode we talk about: Why your nervous system is the true gatekeeper of manifestation The three states of regulation: sympathetic, dorsal vagal, and freeze The “invisible wall” that shows up when you try to uplevel Why manifestation often feels uncomfortable before it feels good Building capacity to receive more goodness in your life The role of parts work in unblocking and reparenting Vulnerable parts vs. protective parts — and how they work together Why procrastination, perfectionism, and overachieving are protectors Becoming a “competent protector” for your inner child The lioness metaphor: soft and attuned, yet ferociously protective How adult self-energy creates safety for expansion Why intuition is quiet and unbothered (and how to distinguish it from fear) Why shining big is an act of healing — not selfishness Mentioned In the Episode: Find our Be Seen Challenge plus all our workshops and all workshops mentioned inside our Pathway Membership! (Including the Fight or Flight DI, Inner Child DI, Safe to Be Seen DI) Connect with Sarah Baldwin! @sarahbcoaching on IG https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/ You Make Sense on Apple Podcasts You Make Sense - Sarah's somatic healing program - join the waitlist HOW TO MANIFEST by Lacy Phillips (with exercises by Jessica Gill)Available now! The Expanded Podcast, from To Be Magnetic™ (TBM), is the leading manifestation podcast rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and energetics. Hosted by TBM's Chief Content Officer Jessica Gill, with monthly appearances from founder Lacy Phillips, Expanded is where science and the mystical meet to help you manifest in the most grounded, practical, and life-changing way.At TBM, we've redefined manifestation through Neural Manifestation™—our proven, science-backed method developed with neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart. This process helps you reprogram limiting beliefs at the subconscious level so you can create the life most aligned with your authenticity.Each week, we take you inside the TBM practice to help you expand your subconscious to believe what you desire is possible. Through expert interviews, thought leader conversations, TBM teachings, and real member success stories, you'll learn how to: – Rewire your subconscious mind and step into your worth – Heal your inner child and integrate shadow work – Set boundaries, strengthen intuition, and reclaim self-worth – Manifest relationships, careers, abundance, and experiences that align with your true selfWith over than 40 million downloads and a global community in over 100 countries, Expanded has become the gold standard in manifestation content. Think of it as your weekly practice for expanding your mind, believing what you want is possible, and manifesting the life you're meant to live.Past guests include leading voices such as Mel Robbins, Lewis Howes, Jenna Zoe, Martha Beck, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Gabor Maté, Mark Groves, and Brianna Wiest. Where To Find Us!@tobemagnetic (IG)@LacyannephillipsLacy Launched a Substack! - By Candlelight - Join Here@Jessicaashleygill@tobemagnetic (youtube)@expandedpodcast
I don't know about you, but even though I use AI almost every single day, there is still a part of me that gets nervous about it. I love nothing more than sitting across from a friend with a cup of coffee, driving in the car with my kids and husband to Seattle to see a World Cup Game (yep, I went), or being out in nature with nothing but my own thoughts, no machine, no screen, just me. I am deeply passionate about human connection. So passionate that I did a TED talk on The Power of Human Connection. So when I think about what AI might mean for how we relate to each other, it concerns me. And yet here I am, using AI daily, and if I am honest, loving it. That conflict lives inside of me, and it is exactly what led me to this conversation with today's guest, Jack Swift.I met Jack about two years ago. I was up in the hills outside of Los Angeles, spending the day at a conference on human performance, and at dinner that night I ended up sitting next to Jack. Within minutes we were talking about Jungian psychology, Internal Family Systems, and the nature of the soul. That is just who Jack is. He goes deep fast, and with such warmth that you don't realize how far you have gone until you come up for air. Something about him immediately put me at ease about what it means to be human in this moment.Jack grew up in Hope, Arkansas (yes, the same town as the Clintons), where something was planted in him early around service and possibility. That thread carried him to West Point as a DI athlete, to the Army as an Airborne Ranger, into institutional finance, and eventually to co-found and lead TIFIN. On this AI-native fintech platform, he grew the team from 30 to over 300 people and oversaw JPMorgan's acquisition of 55ip. When Jack talks about AI, he is not theorizing. He has lived it from the inside.And yet what strikes me most about Jack is not his resume. It is that alongside all of that, he co-founded Sangha, a community I am lucky enough to be part of. A collective of heart-centered leaders, small circles of people who meet regularly, grow together, and integrate their inner work into every part of life. It tells you everything you need to know about who Jack really is.What makes his story so human is that through his success, he was also quietly struggling. Leaning on alcohol to numb emotions he didn't have words for, stuck in fight-or-flight, measuring his worth by what the world reflected back to him. He shares all of this openly, including the one moment with his daughter that finally changed everything. That part of our conversation stopped me in my tracks.Here is a taste of what we get into:✨Leading from the inside out and why knowing your own truth is the most important leadership skill right now✨The “resentment trap” and what a story about music in a car taught me about relationships✨Why “I don't know” and “I made a mistake” are the two most powerful things a leader can say✨How Jack uses AI agents as thought partners, including helping his own son figure out his next career chapterIf you have ever worried about jobs, wondered what to tell your kids to study, or felt like this technology is moving faster than you can keep up with, this episode is for you. Jack does not dismiss that fear. He meets it with honesty and reframes it in a way that gave me hope. As someone who carries caution around what AI means for human connection, I can tell you this conversation with Jack left me feeling more hopeful about AI, about people, and about life itself.xoMollyJack's Resources and LinksLevel 7 Leadership: The Blueprint for the Human+Machine Era by Jack Swift, and L7 AI agent at l7leadership.comLinkedIn Website Sangha
Did you know that you are one human made up of multiple personalities, or parts, that interact internally, much like people interact in the external world? This is what Internal Family Systems (IFS) teaches us. These parts are responsible for the bulk of your habits, so when you understand these parts or personalities better, you have the secret to understanding your habits. This week, discover how your habits can be explained as thoughts, feelings, and actions that originate from distinct parts of yourself. I'm giving you an overview of IFS, and sharing a practical exercise that will help you notice and name the parts of yourself that contribute to your specific habits. Get the full show notes and more information here: https://habitsonpurpose.com/75 Join the Habits on Purpose newsletter for extra tools, prompts, and stories between episodes: https://habitsonpurpose.com/
This week, Thomas explores how to connect with your deepest purpose and uncover your ‘karmic blueprint' through embodied presence and contemplative practices.He shares how purpose is not an external object to be found, but an internal truth that's revealed by working through life's challenges, healing your individual wounds, and integrating the wounds of those who came before you.When we learn to see challenges not as obstacles, but as opportunities to encounter our core creativity and break unhealthy patterns, our path forward becomes much clearer. Thomas also explores the importance of finding community on this journey, and how our personal transformations have ecosystemic impact.There's still time to join Thomas this month for a new 7-Day Journey: ✨ Unlocking Your Purpose: Deepen Your Connection to your Innermost Calling ✨Through 7 days of teachings, meditations, and practices led by Thomas, you'll discover your life's purpose as a mystical, emergent, and ongoing dialogue between your inner creative spark and the needs of the world.It all takes place in our membership community, The Mystic Café. Join now, and you'll get your first month of membership for just $1! Learn more and start your journey here
For years we've been told that healing trauma means talking about it. But what if talking isn't enough?In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Harvard-trained psychiatrist and world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Frank Anderson to explore why trauma isn't simply stored in your memories. It's stored in your body.We discuss why so many women find old wounds resurfacing during perimenopause and menopause, why food often becomes a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma, and why traditional talk therapy doesn't always create lasting healing.Dr. Anderson shares the science behind trauma, nervous system regulation, EMDR, Internal Family Systems, psychedelics, and the small daily experiences that help your brain and body finally feel safe again.If you've ever wondered why you keep reacting the same way despite years of personal growth, this conversation will help you understand what your body has been trying to tell you all along.In this episode you'll learn:• Why talking about trauma doesn't always heal it• How trauma becomes stored inside the body• The surprising reason menopause often brings unresolved trauma to the surface• Why emotional eating is often a protective response• How fasting reveals hidden emotional patterns around food• Why triggers are valuable clues instead of something to fear• The role of EMDR, Internal Family Systems, somatic therapies, and psychedelics in trauma recovery• Simple daily practices that begin creating lasting healingResources MentionedThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der KolkTranscending Trauma by Dr. Frank AndersonTo Be Loved by Dr. Frank AndersonInternal Family Systems (IFS)More on Dr. Frank AndersonDr. Frank Anderson is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, internationally recognized trauma expert, and author of Transcending Trauma and To Be Loved. He trained alongside trauma pioneer Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, serves on the board of the Trauma Research Foundation, and has spent decades helping people heal through an integrative approach that combines neuroscience, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, and body-based therapies.Website: frankandersonmd.comInstagram: @frank_andersonmdDr. Frank Anderson's BooksFor more resources related to today's episode, visit the podcast episode page: https://www.drmindypelz.com/ep33XConnect with Dr. Mindy:Join Reset AcademyWatch the episodes on YouTubeFollow Dr. Mindy on InstagramSubscribe to Dr. Mindy's newsletterDisclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, fasting routine, or lifestyle.
In this reflective solo episode, Krista explores the hidden ways self-development and spiritual work can sometimes become rooted in the belief that we need “fixing.” She shares how healing isn't about becoming someone new—it's about learning to love yourself more deeply. Through conversations on manifestation, Internal Family Systems, and self-worth, Krista reflects on the “hungry ghost” that drives so many people to constantly seek more. This episode is a reminder that healing begins when we fully accept who we are. Morning Microdose is a podcast curated by Krista Williams and Lindsey Simcik, the hosts and founders of Almost 30, a global community, brand, and top-rated podcast. With curated clips from the Almost 30 podcast, Morning Microdose will set the tone for your day, so you can feel inspired through thought-provoking conversations…all in digestible 10-minute episodes. Wake up with Krista and Lindsey, both literally and spiritually, Monday-Friday. If you enjoyed this conversation, listen to the full episode on Spotify here and on Apple here. Sponsors: AirDoctor | Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code MICRODOSE to get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers, including the 3500, 4000, and 5500 models.
Tammy Sollenberger, LCMHC, is a licensed clinical mental health counselor and a certified IFS consultant. She is also the author of the book "The One Inside: 30 Days to Your Authentic Self” and host of The One Inside Podcast.For more information about Tammy Sollenberger's book, podcast, and resources related to Internal Family Systems, visit https://tammysollenberger.com/FB: https://www.facebook.com/theoneinsideIFSIG: https://www.instagram.com/ifs.tammy/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.---Thank you for listening!If you want to support the show, I've got three options and every bit helps.$5.00 PayPalhttps://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/NPKS32G8KVSN2$10.00 PayPalhttps://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/495AMDFXQFC3L$15.00 PayPalhttps://www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/M7V5RREUKVD8JThank you to our Sponsors: Jane App - use code GUY1MO at https://janesoftware.partnerlinks.io/ngvcwcxqt2jx-4afv8i (https://jane.app/book_a_demo)Novo Psych - novopsych.com/traumapodcastRebound - https://hellorebound.com/tt
OCD isn’t just about managing symptoms—it’s about understanding the parts beneath them In the third and final part of our OCD series, expert Melissa Mose explores the complexities of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), discussing evidence-based treatments like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can complement traditional approaches. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, Melissa shares practical strategies for navigating OCD, while highlighting the roles of self-leadership, compassion, and understanding the different “parts” that influence thoughts, fears, and behaviors. “ERP has been shown to be the most effective treatment. Exposures help the brain rewire and learn resilience.” – Melissa Mose Time Stamps for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303) 00:12 Introduction to OCD and treatment 02:58 Understanding exposure and response prevention (ERP) 08:13 The role of the therapist in ERP 10:45 Integrating internal family systems (IFS) with ERP 13:30 The impact of shame in OCD 16:09 Differentiating reassurance from compulsions 36:25 Understanding exiled parts in therapy 40:58 Obsessive and compulsive parts: A closer look 43:38 Navigating the helicopter parent dynamic 47:40 Differentiating between anxiety and OCD 55:45 The connection between attachment and OCD About our Guest – Melissa Mose, LMFT Melissa Mose is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Los Angeles since 1995. She has specialized in the treatment of OCD and anxiety since 2011 and currently trains and supervises associates in her group practice. Melissa is also an Internal Family Systems therapist. She is Level 3 trained and Certified and an IFSI-approved clinical consultant. She has served on staff as a PA for multiple Level 1 and Level 2 experiential IFS trainings through the IFS Institute. Melissa's experience as the parent of a child with OCD led her to specialize in the treatment of individuals with anxiety and OCD as well as their families. She is a graduate of the IOCDF's general, pediatric and advanced Behavior Therapy Training Institutes (BTTI) as well as the Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) program and Cognitive-behavioral Intervention for Tics training (CBIT). Her fifteen years of experience prior to that specialization provided a broad foundation of skills and approaches that infuse her integrative approach. With a background in family systems and mindfulness practices, she became driven to find more compassionate and accessible treatment for OCD. Melissa has developed an integrative approach that utilizes an IFS framework to provide evidence-based exposure therapy for OCD. She is an international speaker and educator on obsessive compulsive disorder and its treatment, and she is currently the president of the board of directors of OCD Southern California, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. In her role on the board of OCD SoCal advocates for individuals with OCD, hosts speakers' series, trainings, and one of largest virtual OCD conferences worldwide. It is her mission to raise awareness, improve early identification and greater treatment accessibility for individuals with OCD and their families. Resources for The Hidden Parts of OCD: ERP, IFS, and Self-Leadership with Melissa Mose (303) Melissa’s website – Resources & information IFS for OCD Clinician’s Guide – Melissa’s book – Internal Family Systems for OCD: A Clinician’s Guide www.OCDSoCal.org – Melissa is president of OCD Southern California Beyond Attachment Styles course is available NOW! Learn how your nervous system, your mind, and your relationships work together in a fascinating dance, shaping who you are and how you connect with others. Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount. You are invited! Join our exclusive community to get early access and discounts to things we produce, plus an ad-free, private feed. In addition, receive exclusive episodes recorded just for you. Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!! Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! A coffee alternative with 4 adaptogenic mushrooms and ayurvedic herbs. With only a fraction of caffeine as a cup of coffee, you get energy without the anxiety, jitters, or crash of coffee Go to mudwtr.com/tu to support the show and use code TU for 15% off
You're not just a people pleaser. You're running a survival response your nervous system learned to keep you safe. Most of us were taught that being agreeable, flexible, and endlessly giving was a virtue. Meg Josephson, a licensed psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestselling book Are You Mad At Me?, says that pattern is actually a trauma response, and it's running your relationships, your sense of self, and your inner world without you even realizing it. The fawn response is the fourth threat response, alongside fight, flight, and freeze. It's the one we never get punished for. We get applauded. And that applause is exactly what makes it so hard to break. Meg breaks down the six archetypes it can take: the peacekeeper, the performer, the perfectionist, the chameleon, the caretaker, and the lone wolf. What it costs you isn't just your time or your boundaries. It's your identity. When you spend years morphing yourself to be liked in every room, you stop knowing what you actually want, feel, or believe. Meg went to a store after college and realized she didn't know her own favorite color. That's the depth of self-erasure people pleasing creates. The path out starts with one counterintuitive skill: learning to tolerate discomfort. Not fixing, not performing, not self-optimizing. Just pausing long enough to notice what's happening beneath the fawn response, and choosing something different. Are You Mad At Me? Amazon Ebook Audiobook Meg's Instagram Meg's TikTok Meg's Substack Meg's Website In this episode you will: Understand how complex trauma and generational patterns keep the approval-seeking cycle alive across lifetimes Build the tolerance for discomfort that breaks the people pleasing pattern and lets you show up as your full self Discover the fawn response and why it is the one threat response society actively rewards instead of corrects Identify which of the six people pleaser archetypes is quietly running your behavior in relationships and at work Learn the critical difference between reassurance seeking and genuine validation, and why only one of them actually heals the root For more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1942 For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960 Follow The Daily Motivation for essential highlights from The School of Greatness More SOG episodes we think you'll love: Lewis Howes Solo [Stop Helping Everyone But Yourself] Emily McDonald Dr. K TOPICS Meg Josephson, people pleasing, fawn response, internal family systems, complex trauma, reassurance vs. validation, people pleaser archetypes, shame and self-blame, nervous system healing, generational trauma, Are You Mad At Me Get More From Lewis! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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