Podcasts about internal family systems

Do you struggle with people getting under your skin? Are you easily triggered by certain comments or topics? Hoping to create positive change? In this episode sponsored by Better Help, Dr. John explores how to stop letting people get under your skin. You'll hear about the story of Austin, a young man who lost his temper on a train. Discover approaches to counseling including EMDR and Internal Family Systems (parts therapy) as part of healing past wounds. Do you have an internal protector, deep inside, trying to keep you from the source of your hurts? If trauma and pain are part of your past, you'll want to listen to this episode. Important Links Use this link to get a special offer for listeners of the podcast with Better Help. Visit Good Therapy to learn about EMDR Link to episode 38 on how Karma wants your dreams to come true. Learn about Internal Family Systems (parts therapy). Follow Dr. John on Social Media Guy Counseling on Instagram Guy Counseling on Facebook John's website and newsletter sign up

Have you ever felt a surge of anxiety or fear or anger that feels out of balance with whatever just happened?Do you  feel things you don't want to feel? Or do things you don't want to do? Do you struggle with critical self talk that take overs and no matter what you do you can't seem to break free of them? Jenna Riemersma shares how to move towards healing and wellness and begin to break free and heal with Internal Family Systems Model . IFS helps us understand why we do things we don't want to do and feel things we don't want to feel: because we have different parts inside of us that are at war.  Jenna is the author of the best-seller, "Altogether You, Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy,"  a Harvard-educated innovator, therapist, and bestselling author who is making emotional wellness accessible. By bringing together the best of cutting-edge neuroscience and clinical treatment, she's created a dynamic paradigm shift from mental illness to mental fitness. In fact, Jenna has pioneered a simple three step process that anyone can use to reduce suffering and increase wellness. She believes this proprietary Move Toward™ approach is THE answer to todays' skyrocketing rates of overwhelm, anxiety and depression.Where to find Jenna:Her website: https://jennariemersma.com/Her book: Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapyHer Free Course: Unlock Your Inner Parent Superhero Resources 

“We all have different parts of us that show up differently as we orient through our life,” says Amy Crawford, a therapist, educator, and trauma recovery coach. In this conversation, Crawford and GP discuss a therapy model called Internal Family Systems, which, in very simplified terms, is based on the idea that each of us is made up of many parts. By connecting and changing our relationship to those parts, we can begin to understand our true and authentic selves—and live more vibrant lives—says Crawford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Inspired by this (the second) conversation with Steve Emery, I just finished listening to The teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda. In the book, Castaneda speaks a lot about ordinary and non-ordinary reality, something which my experiences through process-oriented therapy and Steve's work with Internal Family Systems sure weave a colourful tapestry of (or between?) those aspects of reality. Weird? Yeah. That's the non-ordinary aspect of it. But not less real. No less a part of reality. But I promise, there's more hands-on down-to-earth meanders here too. Like the question I posed when I gave an inspirational talk recently, wanting to provide a touch of tankespjärn: What can you remove from your life, to make it richer? One of the things I was thinking of myself when I asked this question, are all the should's. I should do this, I shouldn't do that… Think about it. Just for a minute. What have you got in your life that adds to your list of should's? It might be a thing. A summer house. A boat, a fancy motorcycle, a gym card. Or a thought. Diminishing your own self-worth, feelings of jealousy towards a colleague or best friend. Thinking you are too much. Or too little. Not enough. Like an endless commentary on the inside, making me ask: What's it for? How does it serve? I'll wager that I am far from alone in having a pile of should's to untangle. If nothing else, I've got Steve to keep me company. As strange as it might sound, we've both been helped along by the global Covid-pandemic, which has forced some things out of our lives. And when something is let go, it opens for other things to let come. Same here. Even if part of what's gotten harder during the pandemic are lovely in and of themselves, like travelling for instance. When it's not possible, or at least somewhat trickier to do, what's available close by can be explored in ways never done before. Be it the surrounding area, cities or forests, meadows or ocean fronts, or your own interior realms, I promise there are things there that can make your life richer. Hopefully, you'll find some tankespjärn too. Links: Steve Emery is most easily found on Color Sweet Tooth Internal Family Systems The Storyskills workshop You can hear Matthew Word Bain on Tankespjärn with Helena Roth too Arnold Mindell, Process-oriented therapy with Dominic Active imagination Knucklebones Carlos Castaneda and The teaching of Don Juan Alan Watts' Being in the Way podcast episode 8: Man and Nature Robin Wall Kimmerer on On Being The Creative's Workshop aka PROn (n being the number of the specific cohort)

Happy 2022! In the first episode of season 3, Anna Lutz and Elizabeth Davenport are joined by Zoë Bisbing, a licensed psychotherapist, child and adolescent eating disorder specialist and founder of The Full Bloom Project. We highlight the challenges of raising body-confident kids in today's culture and how parents can cultivate body-positive values in their families and homes. We also discuss:  The term body-positive parenting Obstacles parents face when raising body-confident kids Three steps for parents to take to foster body-confidence in their home How to know if an adolescent's dissatisfaction with their changing body is an expected part of their development or a cause for concern What to say if your child approaches you with body image concerns The connection between body-positive parenting and social justice Zoë Bisbing, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist based in New York City. She is the founder of Body-Positive Therapy NYC and has specialized in working with children, adolescents and adults struggling with disordered eating for over a decade. Zoë practices an integrative therapy approach that combines relational-psychodynamic, Internal Family Systems and Cognitive Behavioral therapies. She is certified in Family-Based Treatment and also the founder of The Full Bloom Project, a research-informed resource for parents striving to raise body-confident kids.  Links:  The Full Bloom Project The ABCs of Body-Positive Parenting Body-Positive Therapy NYC Sunny Side Up Nutrition Podcast  Lutz, Alexander & Associates Nutrition Therapy Pinney Davenport Nutrition

Summary: In this episode, we gain a deeper understanding of the experience of trauma, the impact of trauma. we clarify definitions of different aspects of trauma, various categories of trauma, the immediate and delayed signs and symptoms of trauma, and the effects of trauma.  Then I share an experiential exercise with you to help you discover potential areas that might be fruitful for future exploration of your own internal experience.   Opening Dramatic Short Brief descriptions of the experience of trauma  “Outside, the sun shines. Inside, there's only darkness. The blackness is hard to describe, as it's more than symptoms. It's a nothing that becomes everything there is. And what one sees is only a fraction of the trauma inflicted.”  ― Justin Ordoñez “My current life, I realized, was constructed around an absence; for all its richness I still felt as if the floors might give way, as if its core were only a covering of leaves, and I would slip through, falling endlessly, never to get my footing.” ― Esi Edugyan, Washington Black “I wish I'd fallen softly. Light and graceful like a feather drifting slowly to the earth on a warm and dreamy summer's day. I wish that I'd landed softly too. But there is nothing soft or graceful about that devastating moment when the worst has come to pass. The unavoidable truth is that it is hard, cold and brutal. All that you know to be true and good in life shatters in an instant. You feel like a delicate pottery bowl violently tossed from your place of rest, watching yourself crash and scatter across the hostile dark earth. The sound is deafening. Time stops. Inside, the quiet ache of shock and heartbreak slowly makes its grip known. They cut deep, these jagged edges of broken sherds. You gasp for air hungrily, yet somehow forget how to breathe.”― Jodi Sky Rogers Introduction We are born into a not only a fallen world, but a traumatized world  We not only share in a fallen human condition, but a traumatized condition.   “No matter what kind of childhood we've had, nobody escapes trauma while growing up.”― Kenny Weiss The Fall goes way back, before the world was even created, to the fall of the Lucifer, the light-bearer, the morning star and his angels -- and then the fallenness entered our world through original sin, the sin of Adam and Eve, and these are the original traumas, the fall of the angels and original sin.   You and I are together in the adventure of this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am thankful to be with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.  This podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com.   Trauma.  We are just beginning a whole series of episodes on trauma.  You've been asking for this -- so many requests for us to address trauma head on.  It's such a tough topic and such an important topic, and we are taking on the tough and important topics that matter to you. Really important to understand the inner experience of trauma -- so you can recognize it in your own life and recognize it an empathetic and attuned way in others' loves.  Part of loving them.   Today, we're going to get an overview of the best of the secular understandings of trauma.  So much has changed since I entered graduate school in 1993 -- back then there was one seminal text on trauma, Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery.  Now, especially in the last 10-15 years, there has been an upsurge of new, fresh and much better ways of understanding trauma.   Outline Impact of Trauma   Definitions of terms Definition of  trauma  Definition of Attachment injury  Definition of relational hurt  Definition of adverse experience.  Categories of Trauma  Recognizing Trauma from the Reactions, signs and symptoms.   Discuss commonly accepted effects of trauma  Go over the traumatic effects of what didn't happen, what was missing  Experiential exercise to help you identify areas of your internal experience that are impacted by trauma   Impact of Trauma From the North Dakota Department of Human Services Fact Sheet   • People who have experienced trauma are:◉ 15 times more likely to attempt suicide◉ 4 times more likely to abuse alcohol◉ 4 times more likely to develop a sexually transmitted disease ◉ 4 times more likely to inject drugs◉ 3 times more likely to use antidepressant medication◉ 3 times more likely to be absent from work◉ 3 times more likely to experience depression◉ 3 times more likely to have serious job problems◉ 2.5 times more likely to smoke◉ 2 times more likely to develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)◉ 2 times more likely to have serious financial problems 16-minute TED MED talk from How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime | Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris  September 2014 Definitions of Trauma Lots of confusion   Briere & Scott (2006) Principles of Trauma Therapy: people use the term trauma to refer to  either a traumatic experience or event  the resulting injury or stress,  or the longer-term impacts and consequences  American Psychological Association Website: Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. Problem in emphasizing the emotional aspects. It's much more than that  Misses the overwhelming aspect.   Does get the "response" part right.   Integrated Listening Systems website:  Trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms an individual's ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishes their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences.   DSM-5  PTSD, Acute Stress Disorder.  Not going to address those here, not worth the time. Highly criticized by many professionals for being very limited and behind the curve, not recognizing the nuances and categories of trauma responses.   Attachment Injury  Definition: Dr. Sue Johnson defines an attachment injury as “a feeling of betrayal or abandonment during a critical time of need.” Very relational.   Uniformed Services University Human Performance Resources sheet:  An attachment injury is an emotional wound to an intimate, interdependent relationship. It usually happens after a breach of trust—particularly in a time of need or a moment of loss or transition. Once an attachment injury occurs, it can leave one or both partners feeling betrayed or abandoned. Examples of causes of attachment injuries from John Gottman "What Makes Love Last: How to build trust and avoid betrayal" Conditional Commitment:  You or your partner are one the lookout for someone more attractive, more desirable, someone who is a better soul mate.   A Nonsexual Affair: sometimes emotional affairs - emotional connection in an exclusive relationship with someone else.   Lying: Deception, dishonesty, little white lies.   Forming a Coalition Against the Partner:  Pulling the kids in, trying to isolate the other person.  No longer collaborative.   Absenteeism or Coldness: Not prioritizing each other at a time of need -- distancing instead -- can have a devastating impact. Whether failing to support during highly stressful events or consistently missing opportunities to turn towards each other during the rigors of life, both are destructive.  Withdrawal of Sexual Interest: This can really be wounding.  Sometimes one spouse is ok with this and the other is not.   Disrespect:  quote by John Gottman… “A loving relationship is not about one person having the upper hand – it's about holding hands.” This includes refusing to acknowledge hurting your partner and a lack of willingness to apologize to your partner.  Unfairness: Dishonesty. Lack of balance in housework, lack of collaboration on finances.   Selfishness: When one partner lives mostly in a self-focused way; behaviors driven by self-absorption can be very wearing on relationship.  Breaking Promises:  Repeated disappointments around broken or unfulfilled promises results in disillusionment and undercuts trust between the spouses. The one breaking promises can unwittingly communicate the message, “You don't matter.”   Additional examples from Lana Isaacson abuse (emotional- gaslighting, power and control, economic, verbal, physical, or sexual),  refusal to forgive or accept partner or let go of resentments (includes excessive criticism, moving out of your home and refusing to return, etc.) after your partner has done significant personal and relational growth work and demonstrating change. Relational Hurts  - Lori Epting at GoodTherapy.org Relational Hurt or Attachment Injury? How to Tell the Difference April 5, 2018  Painful experiences in an attachment relationship inflicted by the other person, but that don't lead to rupture of the relationship Still a sense of love and connection between the people  Still trust and mutuality.   Still a capacity for the couple to move forward  Does the other spouse still love and care for you?  Answer:  Yes.   Examples: forgotten anniversaries, insults, or intense arguments.     Adverse Experiences:  Adverse Childhood Experiences Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) cover a wide range of difficult situations that children either directly face or witness while growing up, before they have developed effective coping skills. ACEs can disrupt the normal course of development and the emotional injury can last long into adulthood. The loss of a parent; neglect; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; and divorce are among the most common types of Adverse Childhood Experiences.   Prevalence of Adverse Childhood Experiences:  Mental Health Connection of Tarrant County fact sheet -- with studies documenting each statistics.   Four of every 10 children in American say they experienced a physical assault during the past year, with one in 10 receiving an assault-related injury. (2) 2% of all children experienced sexual assault or sexual abuse during the past year, with the rate at nearly 11% for girls aged 14 to 17. (2) Nearly 14% of children repeatedly experienced maltreatment by a caregiver, including nearly 4% who experienced physical abuse. (2) 1 in 4 children was the victim of robbery, vandalism or theft during the previous year. (2) More than 13% of children reported being physically bullied, while more than 1 in 3 said they had been emotionally bullied. (2) 1 in 5 children witnessed violence in their family or the neighborhood during the previous year. (2) In one year, 39% of children between the ages of 12 and 17 reported witnessing violence, 17% reported being a victim of physical assault and 8% reported being the victim of sexual assault. (3) More than 60% of youth age 17 and younger have been exposed to crime, violence and abuse either directly or indirectly. (4 More than 10% of youth age 17 and younger reported five or more exposures to violence. (4) About 10% of children suffered from child maltreatment, were injured in an assault, or witnessed a family member assault another family member. (4) About 25% of youth age 17 and younger were victims of robbery or witnessed a violent act. (4) Nearly half of children and adolescents were assaulted at least once in the past year. (4) Among 536 elementary and middle school children surveyed in an inner city community, 30% had witnessed a stabbing and 26% had witnessed a shooting. (5) Young children exposed to five or more significant adverse experiences in the first three years of childhood face a 76% likelihood of having one or more delays in their language, emotional or brain development. (6) As the number of traumatic events experienced during childhood increases, the risk for the following health problems in adulthood increases: depression; alcoholism; drug abuse; suicide attempts; heart and liver diseases; pregnancy problems; high stress; uncontrollable anger; and family, financial, and job problems. (6) According to the Centers for Disease Control -- root causes of many chronic diseases, most mental illnesses, and most violence.       Physical abuse    Sexual abuse    Verbal abuse    Physical neglect    Emotional neglect    A family member who is depressed or diagnosed with other mental illness    A family member who is addicted to alcohol or another substance    A family member who is in prison    Witnessing a mother being abused    Losing a parent to separation, divorce or death 61% of adults across 25 states experienced oat least one ACE --  Nearly one in six American adults experienced four or more.   Lead to increases in adulthood -- years down the road.   Physical injuries TBI  Fractures  Burns   Mental Health problems Depression  Anxiety  Suicide  PTSD   Maternal Health Unintended pregnancy  Complications in pregnancy  Miscarriage   Infectious Disease HIV  STDs   Chronic disease Cancer  Diabetes   Risky Behaviors Alcohol and Drug abuse  Sexual acting out   Loss of opportunities Education  Occupation  Income   Categories of Trauma Acute vs. Chronic, Causes:  Natural vs. Human, Big T trauma vs. little t trauma, Secondary Trauma, Acknowledged vs. Unacknowledged.   Acute vs. Chronic vs. Complex Trauma Acute Trauma: Psychology Today article Acute trauma reflects intense distress in the immediate aftermath of a one-time event and the reaction is of short duration. Common examples include a car crash, physical or sexual assault, or the sudden death of a loved one.  Chronic Trauma:   can arise from harmful events that are repeated or prolonged. It can develop in response to persistent bullying, neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), and domestic violence.  Complex Trauma: can arise from experiencing repeated or multiple traumatic events from which there is no possibility of escape. The sense of being trapped is a feature of the experience. Like other types of trauma, it can undermine a sense of safety in the world and beget hypervigilance, constant (and exhausting!) monitoring of the environment for the possibility of threat.  Big T trauma vs. little t trauma  Trauma here is used to describe the adverse experience Big T Trauma -- Big T Trauma is a reaction to a deeply disturbing, life-threatening event or situation  Powerlessness or helplessness is also a key factor of large ‘T' traumas, Examples of Big T Trauma Violent crime  natural disaster  terrorist attack  sexual assault  Combat  a car or plane accident  Death of a parent for a child   Little T Trauma: Little 't' traumas are described as smaller, more personal distressing events that disrupt our functioning and compromise our capacity to cope. These distressing events are not inherently life or bodily-integrity threatening,Examples of Little T Trauma Interpersonal conflict  Infidelity  Conflict with a boss  Job change  Geographic relocation -- moving to a new part of the country  Romantic breakup  Abrupt or extended relocation  Death of a Pet  Legal trouble  Financial worries or difficulty   Problems -- these describe the event -- as though the event measures the experience.  Not so.  Originally had some support and still do, because of the emphasis on the importance of less obvious events.     Natural vs. Human Causes  Naturally Caused (so called "Acts of God") Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Separated into the four elements Earth, Water, Air and Fire   Earth Earthquakes  Landslides  fallen boulders  Meteorites   Water Floods  Tsunamis  Avalanches  Blizzards   Air Tornadoes  Cyclones  Typhoons  Hurricanes  dust storms  fallen trees   Fire volcanic eruptions  Lightning Strikes  Wildfires   Health physical ailments or diseases  Epidemics  Famines   Human Caused -- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services  Accidental Acts Train derailment, roofing fall, structural collapse, mountaineering accident, aircraft crash, car accident due to malfunction, mine collapse or fire, radiation leak, crane collapse, gas explosion, electrocution, machinery-related accident, oil spill, maritime accident, accidental gun shooting, and sports-related death.   Intentional Acts arson, terrorism, sexual assault and abuse,(see three episode IIC series on Rape, Incest, Shame and Silence, episodes 40, 43,and 44) homicides or suicides, mob violence or rioting, physical abuse and neglect, stabbing or shooting, warfare, domestic violence, poisoned water supply, human trafficking, school violence, torture, home invasion, bank robbery, genocide, and medical or food tampering, harassment, street violence, and bullying   Actions vs. Omissions e.g. abuse vs. neglect   Secondary Trauma:  Psychology Today Article:  Secondary or vicarious trauma arises from exposure to other people's suffering and can strike those in professions that are called on to respond to injury and mayhem, notably physicians, first responders, and law enforcement. Over time, such individuals are at risk for compassion fatigue, whereby they avoid investing emotionally in other people in an attempt to protect themselves from experiencing distress. Acknowledged vs. unacknowledged trauma Frame of reference -- that just how it was  Defining trauma away -- Just because my Dad was a raging unemployed alcoholic and Mom was stressed out with her job and all the housework and we struggled financially and my parents fought all the time, that wasn't trauma, that was just normal.  I never was hit or nothing.   Not like my classmate Billy.  Billy suffered trauma.  His Dad used to hit him with a golf club and he came to school with bruises.  Now that's trauma.  Or the kids that were sexually abused.  That never happened to me.  I just had a rough childhood, but I've moved on, it's all in the past.   Recognizing Trauma from the Signs and Symptoms  -- So important.   Drawing from many sources here, but Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Trauma-Informed Care in Behavioral Health Services. HHS Publication No. (SMA) 13-4801 2014.   Chapter 3 of Understanding the Impact of Trauma  Emotional & psychological Symptoms of Trauma:  Immediate  Emotional overwhelm Characteristic of trauma   Shock  Denial, disbelief  Feeling disconnected or numb or detached  Anxiety or severe fear, even panic attacks  Guilt -- including survivor guilt  Anger, rage  Sadness  Helplessness  Mood swings -- exhilaration about surviving then survivor guilt  Emotional Constriction, Shutdown   Delayed Emotional Signs Irritability, hostility, edginess  Depression  Mood swings  Anxiety  Phobia Generalized anxiety Fears of trauma happening again  Grief  Shame  Feeling very fragile, vulnerable  Emotional detachment, disconnection -- in relationships  Hopelessness, despair  Anhedonia -- inability to enjoy anything  Difficulty experiencing positive emotions     Cognitive Symptoms of Trauma  Immediate Cognitive Reactions Disorientation  Difficulty concentrating  Ruminating, obsessing  Racing thoughts  Intrusive thoughts -- e.g. Replaying the traumatic event over and over again  Visualizations of the event.   Time Distortion  Space Distortion  Extreme alertness; always on the lookout for warnings of potential danger   New sensitivity to loud noises, smells, or other things around you  Memory problems -- unable to remember the event  Feeling out of control  Feeling unreal, depersonalized, not yourself, like you are watching someone else. Depersonalization: Persistent or recurrent experiences of feeling detached from, and as if one were an outside observer of, one's mental processes or body (e.g., feeling as though one were in a dream; feeling a sense of unreality of self or body or of time moving slowly).  Derealization: Persistent or recurrent experiences of unreality of surroundings (e.g., the world around the individual is experienced as unreal, dreamlike, distant, or distorted).  Delayed Cognitive Signs  Dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, body, from memories or sense of identity. This disconnection is automatic and completely out of the person's control.x Amnesia: Often described as "gaps" in memory that can range from minutes to years  Depersonalization: Feeling disconnected from your body or thoughts  Derealization: Feeling disconnected from the world around you  Identity alteration: The sense of being markedly different from another part of yourself  Identity confusion: A sense of confusion about who you really are   we will have a lot more to say about dissociation in future episodes, but for now -- disconnection.   Alexithymia the inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions. -- Can't put my feelings into words.  The experience of trauma can initially defy speech.   “People who suffer from alexithymia tend to feel physically uncomfortable but cannot describe exactly what the problem is. As a result they often have multiple vague and distressing physical complaints that doctors can't diagnose. In addition, they can't figure out for themselves what they're really feeling about any given situation or what makes them feel better or worse. This is the result of numbing, which keeps them from anticipating and responding to the ordinary demands of their bodies in quiet, mindful ways. If you are not aware of what your body needs, you can't take care of it. If you don't feel hunger, you can't nourish yourself. If you mistake anxiety for hunger, you may eat too much. And if you can't feel when you're satiated, you'll keep eating.”  ― Bessel A. van der Kolk  Intrusive memories -- keep coming and coming Reactivation of previous traumatic events -- those from before the most recent trauma Nightmares Confusion, distractions Highly critical of self -- blaming the self, what I could have done better Preoccupation with the event -- all I can think about Denial of the event  “The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.” ― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror  Difficulty with decision making Magical thinking that certain behaviors (including avoidance) will protect me against future harm Suicidal ideation, fantasies Physical symptoms:  Quotes “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” (p.97)” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk,    Immediate physical reactions Nausea, gastrointestinal distress  Sweating, shivering  Fainting  Muscle tremors, uncontrollable shaking  Racing heart, fast breathing, elevated blood pressure  Physical agitation  Extreme fatigue, exhaustion  Exaggerated startle responses  Headaches  Ringing in the ears   Delayed Physical symptoms Sleep disturbances, insomnia  Aches, pains, somatization of psychological distress  Appetite change  Difficult with digestion  Persistent fatigue  Elevated cortisol levels  Hyperarousal  Chronic muscle tension  Long-term health problems -- heart, liver, adrenal glands, autoimmune problems, COPD   Behavioral Symptoms:  Immediate Behavioral Reactions Exaggerated startle responses  Restlessness  Argumentative behavior  Increased use of alcohol, drugs, and tobacco  Social withdrawal and relational apathy  Avoidant behaviors   Delayed Behavioral symptoms Avoidance of activities or places that trigger memories of the even  Social relationship disturbances  Decreased activity level  Engagement in high-risk behaviors  Increased use of alcohol and drugs  Impulse control problems  Social withdrawal, which can lead to isolation   “Over time as most people fail the survivor's exacting test of trustworthiness, she tends to withdraw from relationships. The isolation of the survivor thus persists even after she is free.” ― Judith Lewis Herman Difficulty maintaining close relationships Sexual dysfunction Existential Symptoms  Immediate Existential Reactions Intense use of prayer  Restoration of faith in the goodness of others (e.g., receiving help from others)  Loss of self-efficacy   Despair about humanity, particularly if the event was intentional  Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world   Immediate disruption of life assumptions (e.g., fairness, safety, goodness, predictability of life)     Delayed Existential Reactions Feeling as though one is permanently damaged  Questioning (e.g., “Why me?”)   Increased cynicism, disillusionment, about the future, about humankind “Unlike simple stress, trauma changes your view of your life and yourself. It shatters your most basic assumptions about yourself and your world — “Life is good,” “I'm safe,” “People are kind,” “I can trust others,” “The future is likely to be good” — and replaces them with feelings like “The world is dangerous,” “I can't win,” “I can't trust other people,” or “There's no hope.”  ― Mark Goulston MD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder For Dummies     Increased self-confidence (e.g., “If I can survive this, I can survive anything”) Loss of purpose Renewed faith Hopelessness Reestablishing priorities Redefining meaning and importance of life Reworking life's assumptions to accommodate the trauma (e.g., taking a self-defense class to reestablish a sense of safety) Effects of Trauma -- Going beyond the surface level, what is more readily observable in self or others suffering from trauma  Going into survival mode  Necessity of coming out of this alive.  Very primitive, basic responses.  Drive to survive. “We don't learn things that help us to thrive when we are in survival mode. It's only when we are in sensual mode that we do.” ― Lebo Grand   Many, many people live chronically in  Increasing fragmentation -- decreasing integration Overwhelming intensity of experience.  Overwhelming Grief -- episodes 81-83 Integration much more difficult, even impossible in the current conditions  We need disconnects -- we need to not know that if A=B and B=C, then A=C, because A=C is too threatening for us Example of little girl with a sexually abusive father -- can't come to the full implications of that without being overwhelmed.  Loss of a sense of time “When something reminds traumatized people of the past, their right brain reacts as if the traumatic event were happening in the present. But because their left brain is not working very well, they may not be aware that they are re-experiencing and reenacting the past - they are just furious, terrified, enraged, ashamed, or frozen.”  ― Bessel Van Der Kolk  Identity issues  Who am I? “I felt as though everything inside me had been obliterated.   However much I tried, however much I wanted to go back to being who I was before, it was impossible--all that was left was an empty husk of my former self.” ― Shiori Itō, Black Box Shame (episodes 37-49) Trauma generates and activates and exacerbates and perpetuates shame.   Generates Shame “Shame is internalized when one is abandoned. Abandonment is the precise term to describe how one loses one's authentic self and ceases to exist psychologically.”  ― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You  Genesis 3   Activates Shame Preexisting, unresolved shame can come up.  A plausible explanation for why the adverse event happened or is happening.   Deep sense of not being loved, not being lovable -- often denied, because it's so painful.   “...one of the hardest things to admit is that we weren't loved when we needed it most. It's a terrible feeling, the pain of not being loved.” She was right. I had been groping for the right words to express that murky feeling of betrayal inside, the horrible hollow ache, and to hear Ruth say it—“the pain of not being loved”—I saw how it pervaded my entire consciousness and was at once the story of my past, present, and future.” ― Alex Michaelides  Decreased capacity for relationships Decreasing vulnerability within the self or with others  Out of touch with so much of ourselves.   Lack of Trust “The words "I love you," used to be enough for me. They used to mean the world to me, today they don't mean shit. Oh you love me? Really? Why? How? When did it start? Why? Give me reasons, show me behaviors that PROVE you love me, or get the fuck out of my way. I am not interested in diamonds and platitudes, I want to know that I GENUINELY matter to you, because I don't have time to waste on pretty lies that are ugly beneath the surface.”  ― Devon J Hall  Desperation Can lead to suicidal impulses.  Episodes 76-80.  Spiritual Effects God image issues -- episodes 23-29.   Unconscious and conscious  Problem of evil.   What didn't happen  Attunement  - Daniel Brown and David Elliott Feeling safe and protected afterward    Feeling seen, heard, known, and understood -- someone else making sense of the adverse experience “Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.”  ― Danielle Bernock, “To survive trauma one must be able to tell a story about it.” ― Natasha Trethewey, Memorial Drive: A Daughter's Memoir   Feeling comforted, soothed, calmed, reassured “Feeling listened to and understood changes our physiology. Being able to articulate a complex feeling and having our feelings recognised lights up our Limbic brain, and creates an ‘ah-ha' moment. In contrast, being met by silence and incomprehension kills the spirit.” ― Bessel van der Kolk     Feeling cherished, treasured, loved, delighted in Feeling that someone had my best interests in mind.   Experiential Exercise -- No-Go Zones.  Not therapy Pencil or pen and paper -- some way to record -- could be your phone.   Safety issues Zone of tolerance  If this doesn't suit you, don't do it.   Can stop at any time.  Take what is helpful to you.  No driving, can stop the recording until you're in a good place for it.   Asking that no part of you overwhelm you.   Not going to open up any traumatic place.  We are focused on delineating where those places are within you.   Going to the lowest place within us.   Really slowing it down Notice what is going on inside you right now.  Can you be curious Can you have a big open heart Can you accept what you find if it's not overwhelming Can you be receptive to new ways of understanding yourself.   Notice the reactions Body Sensations  Emotions  Visual Images  Memories  Inner voice  Thoughts or Beliefs or Assumptions  Impulses  Desires  Fantasies   Any concerns about this so far?  Is it OK?  If not discontinue.  Not the time.  If it's OK, then continue.   Word list -- noticing the reactions to 30 words -- write down any words that you notice reactions to and the reactions if you wish -- body sensations, especially, but also the rest of the list.  Again, we're not trying to explore any areas of trauma, but if you parts are willing, to understand a bit more about your internal world, your inner experience.   School Love Body Not being seen or heard Playground Loneliness Arguing Sickness Alcohol, Drugs Fear Safety Chaos Sex Escape Mom Help Shame Protection Pain Distress Trust Dad Wound Abandonment Abuse Sadness Nothing Guilt Anger Survival Any other words or images or thoughts or anything else in your experience.   Gratitude.     Future Directions -- where we will be zeroing in This episode was bringing to you the conventional secular understandings of trauma.  But there are two area in the secular conceptualizations of trauma that really warrant much deeper exploration.   Physiological or bodily response to trauma -- that's the next episode, episode 89  Not just about memories -- not just about psychology  Trauma involves the whole person. Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard. Angry people live in angry bodies. The bodies of child-abuse victims are tense and defensive until they find a way to relax and feel safe. In order to change, people need to become aware of their sensations and the way that their bodies interact with the world around them. Physical self-awareness is the first step in releasing the tyranny of the past. Bessel Van der Kolk   So much happens in our bodies with trauma -- and so much of that is beyond our capacity to control by sheer willpower in the moment.  “PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions.”  ― Susan Pease Banitt The Body Keeps the Score -- by Bessel Van der Kolk Polyvagal theory -- Steven Porges.  Recovery “We cannot outrun our past trauma. We can't bury it and think that we will be fine. We cannot skip the essential stage of processing, accepting, and doing the hard, yet necessary trauma recovery work. There's a body-mind connection. Trauma can manifest itself into chronic physical pain, cancer, inflammation, auto-immune conditions, depression, anxiety, PTSD, Complex PTSD, addictions, and ongoing medical conditions.”  ― Dana Arcuri   Common treatment modalities -- EMDR and other ways of treating trauma Then we will get into an Internal Family Systems approach to trauma -- episode 90 Then we will bring all this groundwork on trauma together to address the spiritual dimensions of trauma Really neglected area  So important.  How trauma impacts the spiritual life.     You are a listener to this podcast, and in that sense, you are with me.  I am also with you!  Remember, can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM for our regular conversation hours.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Time is running out -- opportunity available only until January 15. The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc.  So much information there and videos.   How did you respond to that experiential exercise?  What did you learn?  Was that interesting to you?  Can you see the potential for doing more of that kind of work?  I want to invite you to the Resilient Catholics Community  The Why of the RCC --  It's all about loving with your whole heart -- all of your being.  Getting over all the natural level issues that hold you back from tolerating being loved and from loving God and others.  It's all about your human formation, informed by Internal Family Systems and grounded in our Catholic Faith.   If you really are into this podcast, if these ways of conceptualizing the human person and integration and human formation and resilience are appealing to you, then the Resilient Catholics community, the RCC may be for you.   What of the RCC $99 nonrefundable registration fee gets you The Initial Measures Kit -- which generates a 5 page report, all about your parts  Weekly premium Inner Connections podcast, just for RCC community members --Lots of experiential exercises.   A complete course for working on your human formation 44 weekly sessions over the course of a year for $99 per month subscription  Check it out -- discernment Process   The When of the RCC We open twice per year, next time will be in June 2022, --we've extended the enrollment as far as we can, until January 15.  We are open now.  Soulsandhearts.com/rcc to register.  Call me with questions!    317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  So sign up Soulsandhearts.com/rcc. Waitlist if you get this after January 15.     

As a Certified Trauma Specialist, Emily Walton believes how important a trauma lens can be within the therapeutic relationship. In this episode, Emily shares how her relationship with her therapist and her dietitian were important in her recovery from an eating disorder, and specifically how Internal Family Systems and somatic-oriented modalities played a vital role in discovering parts of herself that needed healing. Emily also discusses the pros and cons of self-disclosure on the side of the therapist in the healing process. She is a passionate and purpose-driven graduate student on the way to becoming a therapist who has a desire to work with others in eating disorder recovery. It was wonderful to have her on the podcast!CW: eating disorder behaviors, eating disorder recovery, specific Western therapeutic modalities, family dynamics, shared lived experiences, trauma

Auf der Reise zu sich Selbst hat Steli Efti seit seiner ersten therapeutischen MDMA Erfahrung diverse neue Werkzeuge entdeckt, die ihm geholfen haben mehr über sich und seine eigene Gefühlswelt kennenzulernen. Eines dieser Tools ist IFS - Internal Family Systems. Ein therapeutisches Modell, dass die systemische Sichtweise der Familientherapie auf unsere Innenwelt als Individuum anwendet. Steli und ich sprechen über seine letzte MDMA Reise und wieso das IFS Modell für uns beide neben psychedelischen Erfahrungen so ein wichtiges Werkzeug für die innere Arbeit geworden ist. Ihr erfahrt welche Rolle dabei unser innerer Kritiker hat und wie wir es schaffen können ihn zu zähmen, damit er uns erlaubt mit unseren verletzten Kinderanteilen arbeiten zu dürfen. Steli erklärt wie ihm IFS Arbeit geholfen hat einen inneren Dialog mit seinen Anteilen zu führen, der zu wesentlich mehr Ausgeglichenheit und innerer Ruhe geführt hat und welche Lektionen ihm “die Mutter” bei seinem letzten MDMA Trip über die Liebe mitgegeben hat. --------------------------------------- Viel Spaß beim Zuhören und ich freue mich wenn ihr eine positive Bewertung da lasst und den Podcast mit Freunden teilt. Um jede Woche die neuesten Folgen und Updates per Mail zu erhalten, melde dich gerne beim Newsletter an. --------------------------------------- Link zu Steli's Company Close: https://close.com/ --------------------------------------- Hier findest du mehr über mich Newsletter & Coaching: https://www.alexanderfaubel.com/ Instagram: @alex_faubel @psychedelische_retreats

I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE HURTING RIGHT NOW. I SEE it in your messages.  I HEAR it when I talk to people.  And SOCIAL MEDIA and the NEWS are filled with stories every day of people struggling to stay afloat.  So often, we find ways to compromise as a means of living with our psychological pain and deep-seeded trauma.  Many of us have been doing it for years. But collectively, I don't think we're doing enough HEALING.   Especially lately, as the pandemic has turned our entire world upside down.  We've done our best to cope amid loved ones getting sick or dying, losing our jobs and identity, battling isolation, and an all-consuming fear of the future. This week's guest, DR. FRANK ANDERSON is a psychiatrist who has extensively studied pain and trauma.  He has made it his lifelong quest to help others heal by integrating his knowledge of neuroscience and trauma treatment with Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. His new book, TRANSCENDING TRAUMA, explores a unique, compassionate, and evidence-based approach to resolving dissociative trauma.  ARE YOU READY TO HEAL? Do you want to regain the ability to CONNECT WITH and LOVE OTHERS on a deeper level? Are you ready to help others UNDERSTAND why they're traumatized and what you can do to help them? Aside from the obvious BENEFITS of why it's important to heal, until you learn to do so and take active steps to heal from trauma, there's no way you can be the BEST POSSIBLE spouse, parent, friend, co-worker, or achieve the HIGHEST DEGREE OF SUCCESS in your career or personal life. TIME SPENT HEALING IS TIME WELL SPENT.  And as Dr. Anderson reveals to us, it's a WORTHY INVESTMENT in ourselves.

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 3 confidence builders you're missing if you collapse under stress Episode 2198: Three Confidence Builders You're Missing If You Collapse Under Stress by Ingrid Y Helander Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/three-confidence-builders-youre-missing-if-you-collapse-under-stress/  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalLivingDaily Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ABOUT THIS EPISODE:My guest Ilyse Kennedy of Moving Parts Psychotherapy is a trauma-informed therapist who has a passion for supporting and educating her clients, the general population, and fellow clinicians like myself about the myths and realities of what it means to experience trauma. In this episode, she helps us understand what trauma is and isn't, the relationship between grief and trauma, the importance of understanding our physiology, getting the right kind of trauma-informed support and so much more. Ilyse Kennedy, LPC, LMFT, PMH-C, PSEP is a trauma therapist, educator, and author located in Austin, TX. She owns a group practice, Moving Parts Psychotherapy, where she leads a team of clinicians in offering comprehensive trauma treatment to children through adults. As a trauma survivor herself, her mission is to create a more trauma informed world. This includes advocacy work on Instagram, education through courses, consultation work for other clinicians, and a forthcoming book. EPISODE RESOURCES:Visit her website Moving Parts Psychotherapy or follow her on Instagram and TikTok. Also,here is the kids' book Ilyse talked about during the episode: Death is Stupid by Anastasia HigginbothamJUMP STRAIGHT INTO:(02:13) - llyse's remembrances of grief as a child and how she talks about death with her kids (11:28) - Approaching grief and trauma from a physiological perspective (18:04) - Understanding EMDR therapy and the different layers of memory within traumatic events (23:26) - Differences between normative response to grief versus a traumatic trigger (28:09) - Internal Family Systems therapy as a way to comprehend how the mind splits when processing trauma (39:43) - On shame and why it's such a powerful emotion (46:56) - The slow process of therapy and digging up past grief while dealing with a current loss ABOUT THE SHOW:If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, the founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to best-selling authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more sign up for her newsletter or follow on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Aya Kaur is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Coach who has as absolute passion for the healing powers and benefits of Ayahuasca. She supports individuals in their pre-ceremony and post-ceremony experiences. The most common issue with the work w Ayahuasca is not appropriately preparing and/or integrating. She has created a program that incorporates tools Mindfulness, Breathwork, Somatic Experiencing, & Internal Family Systems which are vital in the preparation, during ceremony and post ceremony./integration. Connect with Aya: https://themultidimensionaljourney.org/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/themultidimensionaljourney/

Summary: In this episode, we explore the conventional secular and the traditional spiritual ways of understanding scrupulosity, bringing in the experts to define scrupulosity, tells us the signs of being scrupulous, speculate on the causes of the trouble, discuss that standard remedies in the secular and spiritual realms.  Then I share with you my views on it, looking at scrupulosity through an Internal Family Systems lens, grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We discuss how parts have different God images and the role of shame and anger in the experience of scrupulosity.    Description of Scrupulosity Suddenly my stomach tightens up, there's a choking in my throat, and my torture begins. The bad thoughts come. . . . I want to drive them out, but they keep coming back. . . . It is terrible to be in a struggle like this! To have a head that goes around and around without my being able to stop it; to be a madman and still quite rational, for all that. . . . I am double. . . . at the very time that I am trying to plan what I want to do, another unwanted thought is in my mind. . . . Distracting me and always hindering me from doing what I want to do.  --  Quoted in Albert Barbaste, “Scrupulosity and the Present Data of Psychiatry,” TheologyDigest, 1.3 (Autumn 1953) 182. Fr. William Doyle: Around 1900  “My confessions were bad. My confessor does not understand me, he is mistaken in me, not believing that I could be so wicked. I have never had contrition. I am constantly committing sins against faith, against purity. I blaspheme interiorly. I rashly judge, even priests. The oftener I receive Holy Communion, the worse I become,”  Around 1900 My story just turned 19 -- terrible bout of scrupulosity.   Around sexuality Just started dating the first woman I might consider marrying Physical touching -- romantic contact How far was too far? Thoughts of sex with her -- plagued me.   Do I break up with her?  How do I handle this?  What was sinful, what was not?  Was I on the road to hell?  Was I putting her on the road to hell?  I thought I was going crazy.   Review: I encourage you to review the last episode, number 86 -- Obsessions, Compulsions, OCD and IFS That episode went deep into obsessions and compulsions and  serves as a basis for today's episode.   Today's episode, number 87 is entitled Scrupulosity:  When OCD Gets Religion and it's released on December 6, 2021, St. Nick's Day.  I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com Overview Start out with definitions of scrupulosity both from spiritual and secular sources, really want to wrap our minds around what scrupulosity is and the different types of scrupulosity. We will discuss the connection between scrupulosity and OCD -- discussion of OCD  We will then move to the signs of scrupulosity -- how can you tell when there is scrupulosity?  Then we will get into the internal experience of scrupulosity.  What is it like to experience intense scruples?  Had a taste in the intro, but we will get much more into that.   We will discuss what religious and secular experts have to say about the causes of scrupulosity  Then what religious and secular experts have to say about the treatment of scrupulosity -- that most recommended therapy approach and the medications typically prescribed.   After we've discussed the conventional secular and spiritual approaches to treating scrupulosity, I will how I think about scrupulosity, the root causes of scrupulosity, and how scrupulosity develops and how it can be treated.  I will give you an alternative view, grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person and informed by Internal Family Systems thinking.   Definitions:  You know how important definitions are to me.  We really want to make sure we understand what we are talking about.   Scruple comes from the Latin word  scrupulum,  "small, sharp stone" -- like walking with a stone in your shoe. Ancient Roman weight of 1/24 of an ounce or 1.3 grams.     Something tiny, but that can cause a lot of discomfort.   Definitions from Spiritual Sources Fr. William Doyle, SJ.  Scruples and their Treatment  1897: Scrupulosity, in general, is an ill-founded fear of committing sin.  Fr. Hugh O'Donnell:   Scrupulosity may be defined as a habitual state of mind that, because of an unreasonable fear of sin, inclines a person to judge certain thoughts or actions sinful when they aren't or that they are more gravely wrong than they really are… Scrupulosity involves an emotional condition that interferes with the proper working of the mind and produces a judgement not in accordance with object truth, but with the emotion of fear.  Fr. James Jackson, article "On Scrupulosity"  A very good definition Scrupulosity is an emotional condition, an ultra-sensitivity to sin, which produces excessive anxiety and fear from the thought of eternal damnation…This condition is a religious, moral and psychological state of anxiety, fear and indecision. It is coupled with extreme guilt, depression and fear of punishment from God. However, each person who suffers from it does so uniquely. Fr. Marc Foley:  The Context of Holiness: Psychological and Spiritual Reflections on the Life of St. Therese of Lisieux Excellent, very psychologically informed study of the Little Flower  Not only the best psychological profile of St. Therese of Lisieux, but the best psychobiography of any saint from any author I've read.  A very in-depth look at her mother, St. Zelie as well and the limitations and lack of attunement in the Martin family  Highly recommended reading -- all of chapter 12 is on The Little Flower's scrupulosity.   Scrupulosity is an extremely painful anxiety disorder. It consists of annoying fear that one is offended God or could offend God at any moment and that God will cast her into hell. To protect yourself from eternal damnation, the scrupulous person dissects every thought, motive, and action in order to ascertain if she has send. And since she is deathly afraid that she might have sent, the scrupulous person seeks absolute certitude that she hasn't send in order to assuage her fears.   Definitions from Secular Sources Timothy Sisemore, Catherine Barton, Mary Keeley From Richmont Graduate University   Scrupulosity is a "sin phobia."  Jaimie Eckert, Scrupulosity Coach:  Scrupulosity is where faith and OCD collide.   International OCD Foundation Fact Sheet:  What is Scrupulosity?  By C. Alec Pollard:  A form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) involving religious or moral obsessions. Scrupulous individuals are overly concerned that something they thought or did might be a sin or other violation of religious or moral doctrine.   Bridging the Secular and the Spiritual Joseph W. Ciarrocchi's The Doubting Disease: Help for Scrupulosity and Religious Compulsions -- published in 1995, and still the most cited text in Catholic circles, even more than a quarter century later.   Dr. Ciarrocchi, a former Catholic priest, trained as a clinical psychologist and served as professor and chairman of pastoral counseling at Loyola University in Maryland prior to his death in 2010. Scrupulosity refers to seeing sin where there is none.   He viewed scrupulosity as a sub-set of obsessive- compulsive disorder (OCD), basically a kind of “religious OCD.”  He distinguishes  developmental scrupulosity  self-limited form of scrupulosity  often occurring in adolescents  or shortly after a conversion experience (e.g. St. Ignatius of Loyola)  Temporary, usually disappears.   emotional scrupulosity -- symptoms of OCD More enduring conditions  Can vary in intensity over time, from being overwhelming to just mildly irritating  Can last for years.    Core experience of scrupulosity:  "an intrusive idea, often associated with a sinful impulse, which the person abhors but cannot shake."  "The French label the emotional condition which is sometimes part of scrupulosity "the doubting disease."  Signs of Scrupulosity What do we see.  A lot we don't see.  Fr. Thomas Santa, past director of Scrupulous Anonymous and Author of the book Understanding Scrupulosity When people struggle with the scrupulous disorder, most of the suffering, fear, and anxiety they experience happens in isolation. Scrupulosity is mostly an interior struggle, seldom manifesting itself with easily identifiable or observable mannerisms or behaviors. You can't tell if people are scrupulous by looking at them. While some compulsions of obsessive-compulsive disorder are identifiable, most of the suffering associated with the disorder is personal. Only the sufferer fully knows its debilitating nature.   Sources IOCDF Fact Sheet  Jaimie Eckert Scrupulosity Coach  The Gateway institute website  Doubting Disease 1995 by Joseph Ciarrocchi   Obsessions -- excessive concerns about Fears of Blaspheming, accusing God of being negligent or abusive or evil, cursing God  Fears of Sacrilege, abusing our Lord in the Eucharist for example  Fears about impulses -- taking one's clothes off in Church, screaming obscenities during Mass Example of the man concerned about touching his infant daughter's genitals  Sexual thoughts about a romantic partner  Sexual thoughts or images about a religious figure -- Jesus, Mary, a saint, or possibly a priest or religious.   Fears around harming others  I might cause the death of someone if I sneeze or cough during Mass --  I coughed.  Maybe I'm sick.  Maybe I have COVID.  Maybe I'm a spreader.  A pharmacist worries she will fill prescriptions incorrectly and poison customers at her pharmacy.   Fears around aggression -- Driver goes over a bump in the Church parking lot in the dark after the parish council meeting.  Is concerned he may have run over the pastor.   Cooperating in the sins of others "Man participates in a discussion about a historical figure dead for more than 1000 years, who is alleged to have been a homosexual.  He worries that he has committed the sin of detraction." -- Example from Joseph Ciarrocchi.   Being a sinful person, dishonest, lacking integrity -- honesty  Ruminating about past mistakes, errors, past sins  Purity -- looking for moral perfection  Not Loving Others enough -- Mother worrying she doesn't love her children enough.  Going to hell  Death  A loss of impulse control   Cyclical Doubts Often about salvation, selling your soul to the devil, in mortal sin   Intrusive thoughts and images 666, Satan, Hell, pornographic images, etc.   Compulsions  Behavioral Compulsions Excessive trips to confession  Repeatedly seeking reassurance from religious leaders and loved ones  Repeated cleansing and purifying rituals  Acts of self-sacrifice  Repetitive religious behaviors  Avoiding situations (for example, religious services) in which they believe a religious or moral error would be especially likely or cause something bad to happen  Avoiding certain objects or locations because of fears they may be sinful   Mental Compulsions Excessive praying (sometimes with an emphasis on the prayer needing to be  perfect)  I compulsions about praying.  Tithing prayer.  1.6 hours vs. 2.4 hours.   Needing to pray perfectly or at least adequately enough.   Repeatedly imagining sacred images or phrases Repeating passages from sacred scriptures in one's head Making pacts with God to avoid hell or buy time or just to get a little relief in the present moment.   Intense sense of guilt-- feeling guilty all the time -- about things that don't carry moral weight.    Inflated sense of responsibility Not distinguishing between thoughts and actions.   Example: Joseph Ciarrocchi The Smith family traditionally joins hands around the dinner table to give thanks in prayer before the meal. Susie, age 4, and Billy, age 6 sometimes are fidgety (and always hungry). Mrs. Smith worries that Susie, Billy, and perhaps herself haven't not “truly prayed” due to the multiple distractions: Susie is scratching her mosquito bite, Billy is leering at the chocolate pudding, and Mrs. Smith remembers she has a school board meeting after dinner. She doubts that their prayers were “heard,” and so request of the family repeat their prayers. Sometimes she makes the whole family repeat them, and sometimes only the children. Once the children needed to repeat them four times, even the Mr. Smith tried to intervene after the second time. Mrs. Smith sought advice from her pastor who urged her not to repeat the prayers, either for herself or the children. When she attempts to follow this advice, however, her entire meal is ruined as she attempts to sort out in her head whether this is acceptable to God. She will continue to worry about it throughout the rest of the evening, including her school board meeting.   Distinguishing Scrupulosity of normal religious practice IOCDF Fact Sheet:  Unlike normal religious practice, scrupulous behavior usually exceeds or disregards religious law and may focus excessively on one trivial area of religious practice while other, more important areas may be completely ignored. The behavior of scrupulous individuals is typically inconsistent with that of the rest of the faith community.     Internal Experience of Scrupulosity  Plutarch: a first century priest for the Greek god Apollo at the Temple at Delphi. He wrote about the so-called “superstitious” man, who… And so is the soul of the superstitious man. He turns pale under his crown of flowers, is terrified while he sacrifices, prays with a faltering voice, scatters incense with trembling hands, and all in all proves how mistaken was the saying of Pythagoras that we are at our best when approaching the gods. For that is the time when the superstitious are most miserable and most woebegone....   OCD Center of Los Angeles:  One of the first documented references to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) was in a 1691 sermon by Anglican Bishop John Moore of Norwich in which he discussed men and women who were overwhelmed with unwanted thoughts, and tormented by feelings of guilt and shame over what he described as “religious melancholy.” Priests had started to notice that some churchgoers were attending confession several times a day, and repeatedly confessing to the same sins and shortcomings that they feared would result in divine judgment and eternal damnation. Their penance and absolution would provide only a fleeting glimpse of peace, and then their fears would come roaring back. William Van Ornum, A Thousand frightening fantasies: understanding and human scrupulosity in obsessive-compulsive disorder 1997 24-year-old computer programmer writes, “what worries me is that at any moment and in only a few seconds I can commit serious sin. The only remedy is confession. I worry about what I've done until I confess it; then it's all over. The problem is that I fall or worry again and need to go back.” Fr. Thomas Santa:   Being possessed by a thousand frightening fantasies Constructing a spider web in the mind. People with the disorder often feel as if they are isolated in darkness. They describe this feeling as a “cloud” that perpetually engulfs them. They feel the disorder constantly and uncomfortably, even in the background of day-to-day living.  Scrupulosity demands constant attention and can feel like a severe and unrelenting master. At best, most people who suffer with the disorder have learned to live with it. They hope it does not get more pronounced or spill into other areas of life. Relief does not exist, so any promises of relief through activities like rituals are essentially dead ends. For those who are religious, consistent spiritual practices can help and at the same time be debilitating. From Joseph Ciarrocchi's Book "Doubting Disease Bob is 28-year-old married Jewish man who works for an accounting firm. He is thrilled with the birth of his first child, a bubbly infant girl. Bob is about to be totally involved with her as a parent and share in all aspects of childcare. He was shocked by the following experience: Bob was changing his daughter's diaper when the thought, idea, or image (he wasn't quite sure which close parentheses flashed through his mind – “Touch her private parts.” The first time it happened he shuddered, tried to dismiss the idea, and hurriedly completed diapering her. All they tried not to think about it. The next time he changed her diaper, however, the idea came back, but this time in the form of a graphic picture of Bob engaging in the dreaded behavior. This time he felt nausea, became dizzy, and called his wife to finish, saying he thought he was ill and would pass out. The idea began to torment Bob. He found himself not wanting to be alone with his daughter, Les T “give in” to the simples. He refused to bathe her or change her diaper. Sensing something was drastically wrong his wife urged him to seek help. He talked to his rabbi who tried to assure him that he was not a child molester and should dismiss the thoughts.  Psychodynamic perspective  Sources Nancy McWilliams Psychoanalytic Diagnosis --  Psychdynamic Diagnostic manual   Thinking and Doing predominate over Feeling, sensing, intuiting, listening, playing, daydreaming, enjoying the creative arts and other modes that are less rationally driven or instrumental  Hold themselves to very high standards, sometimes impossibly high.   Central conflict: Rage and being controlled vs. fear of being condemned or punished.   Cooperation and rebellion Initiative and sloth Cleanliness and slovenliness Order and disorder Thrift and improvidence  Polarizations inside.   Emotion is unformulated, muted suppressed, unavailable, or rationalized and moralized.  Except anxiety and sometimes depressed mood Consign most feelings to an undervalued role, associated with childishness, weakness, loss of control, disorganization and dirt Cognition Condemning oneself for internal thought crimes -- consciously or unconsciously   Body states Hyperarousal -- expressing anxiety through the body  Often health problems due to excessive washing   Difficulties with  Play Humor  Spontaneity Pain about isolation.   Shame about being considered weird and unacceptable to others Capable of loving attachments, but often not able to express their tender selves without anxiety and shame Relational patterns -- seek relationships in which they can control the partner, sometimes partners who can reassure them  Being intimate in relationships Emotional connection  Sexuality   Causes of Scrupulosity  Spiritual Sources  Fr. James Jackson The Fathers of the Church considered scrupulosity – or psychasthenia, as the Greek Fathers called it – to be a spiritual problem which leads to a psychological malfunction.   Timothy A. Sisemore. Catherine Barton, Mary Keeley -- The History and Contextual Treatment of Scrupulous OCD  15th and 16th Century -- connected scruples to moral reasoning, addressed under conscience -- concept of erroneous conscience.  -- frees the person to act without resolving the doubt.   Secular Sources IOCDF Fact sheet:  The exact cause of scrupulosity is not known. Like other forms of OCD, scrupulosity may be the result of several factors including genetic and environmental influences.   OCDUK.com  Lots of controversy. Biological factors  Strep infections affecting the Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders associated with Streptococcal Infection  -- PANDAS   Genetic factors Runs in families -- 2001 metaanalytic review reported that person with OCD is 4 times more likely to have another family member with OCD than a person who does not have the disorder   Cognitive theory  Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts at times People with OCD have an inflated sense of responsibility and interpret these thoughts as very significant and important Caught up in a pattern of Try to resist, block or neutralize them  What is the meaning of the thought to the person?   Joseph Ciarrocchi citing David Barlow -- OCD causes Those temperamentally disposed to having high levels of nervous energy, more pronounced bodily reactions to stress, greater levels of anxiety   OCD is different from other anxiety disorders because those with OCD believe that certain kinds of thoughts are dangerous in themselves If I think certain thoughts those events will happen.  If I think certain thoughts or spontaneously imagine certain things, or if I have an impulse to do such a  thing, then I am the kind of person who would do such things.   No moral distance between the spontaneous thought or image or impulse and actually doing the act.   I must be bad.  Unclean.  Unworthy.   Model for the development of Scrupulosity Strong belief that certain thoughts are dangerous and unacceptable  Leads to the occurrence of these same intrusive thoughts  This generates significant anxiety  Leading to strong efforts to suppress the thoughts  Which accelerates the frequency of the same kinds of thought   Leading to a need to "turn off" the anxiety by any means Mental rituals  Physical rituals  These rituals are the compulsions   And then there is a temporary respite, a bit of relief.  The compulsive rituals are reinforced because they temporarily decrease anxiety.  But then we loopback to the occurrence of the intrusive thoughts again.     Psychodynamic understanding Nancy McWilliams -- Psychoanalytic Diagnosis Obsessive and Compulsive Personality styles:   Marc Foley's Approach in The Context of Holiness about St. Therese of Lisieux's scrupulosity Parental figures who set high standards of behavior and expect early conformity to them E.g. making little kids sit still during Mass   Strict and consistent in rewarding good behavior and punishing malfeasance Risk of condemning not only behaviors but the feelings that go with them Especially anger   Issues of control in families of origin.   Alternative -- a really lax family in which children are underparented Child concludes he has to model himself after a parental figure that he invents himself  Child might have an aggressive, intense temperament -- projected on to that idealized parental figure.   Self esteem comes from meeting the demands of internalized parental figures who hold them to a high standard of behavior and sometimes thought.   Value self-control over nearly all other virtues.   Discipline Order Loyalty Integrity Reliability Perseverance Is a particular religion a cause?   No: Timothy Sisemore, Catherine Barton, Mary Keeley:  A tendency to blame religion, but no more than counting OCD to be blamed on math class  Joseph Ciarrocchi "Religion doesn't cause scrupulosity and more than teach someone French history causes him to believe he is Napoleon.  All human beings exist in some cultural context.   IOCDF Fact sheet:  Scrupulosity is an equal opportunity disorder. It can affect individuals from a variety of different faith traditions. Although more research is needed to truly answer this question, there is currently no evidence to link scrupulosity to a specific religion. OCD Center of Lost Angeles It is worth noting that Scrupulosity is not partial to any one religion, but rather custom fits its message of doubt to the specific beliefs and practices of the sufferer.  Yes:  Joseph Ciarrocchi …religion may contribute when its content is presented in an overly harsh, punitive manner.  Students of such presentations are likely to associate the context of the religious message with fear and anxiety.   Jonathan Edwards, 18th Century Pastor and Theologian in the Congregational Church The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours. You have offended him infinitely more than ever a stubborn rebel did his prince; and yet it is nothing but his hand that holds you from falling into the fire every moment. It is to be ascribed to nothing else, that you did not go to hell the last night; that you was suffered to awake again in this world, after you closed your eyes to sleep. And there is no other reason to be given, why you have not dropped into hell since you arose in the morning, but that God's hand has held you up. There is no other reason to be given why you have not gone to hell, since you have sat here in the house of God, provoking his pure eyes by your sinful wicked manner of attending his solemn worship. Yea, there is nothing else that is to be given as a reason why you do not this very moment drop down into hell.   Heresies from Fr. James Jackson: Manicheanism:  Manichaeism states, on principle, that all matter is evil. If, for example, a child grows up with an extreme attitude to modesty – where the flesh is seen as evil because it is the cause of forbidden impulses – then the slightest catering to the demands or needs of the flesh can result in a torment which rejects the goodness of the body.  Pelagianism:  There was once a British monk named Pelagius, who taught that a man can observe God's laws by human effort alone, that grace was not needed to do so. If the heresy of Pelagianism works its way into the soul it is an easy step to thinking that any lack of perfection is entirely one's own fault. One thinks, “this business of salvation is my work, so I'd better be perfect when I …” Thus salvation becomes something one must achieve by personal effort instead of by cooperation with grace.   Jansenism:  Jansenism is another heresy in which scrupulosity can grow well. It emphasizes that Christ did not die for all, stresses man's sinfulness, and requires extreme penances on a regular basis. It leads to infrequent communions and flowers into scrupulosity as a matter of course. Jansenism flourished within Roman Catholicism primarily in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, but was condemned as heresy by Pope Innocent X in 1653. Jansenism was also condemned in 1713 by Pope Clement XI in his famous Bull Unigenitus.  Jansenism focuses on how it was impossible for men and women to obey the Lord's commandments and to be redeemed without God's special, divine, irresistible grace. Jansenism taught that Christ died only for the elect -- a real sense of predestination  Fr. Marc Foley agrees:  Jansenism identified as the "remote cause: of St. Therese of Lisieux's troubles growing up.   Biographer Conrad de Meester: "Zelie's mother, who taught her daughters an excessive fear of offending God, used to harp on the phrase 'that's a sin' to curb the least imperfections."   Zelie had an excessive fear of sin and hell. Zelie was terrified that her five-year-old daughter Helene was in purgatory or perhaps even in hell, because she once told a lie.   Spiritual Means of Recovery Joseph Ciarrocchi “Scruples in the History of Pastoral Care” (chapter four of the Doubting Disease) puts scrupulosity in the context of church history before it was viewed through the modern lens of psychiatric diagnosis.  He describes several principles for the treatment of scruples from the pastoral care tradition. Act contrary to the scruples.   Follow the example of others without lengthy and burdensome moral reasoning.  Rely on the guidance of one spiritual advisor rather than consulting multiple spiritual authorities.  Put oneself in situations that trigger the obsessional thought.  Avoid religious rituals/prayers, which serve as compulsions.   Ciarrocchi writes that these main pastoral principles “contain  the seeds of modern behavioral treatments” that include modeling by  others,  exposure to the upsetting situation, and blocking the compulsive response. Fr. William Doyle 1873-1917 -- more than 100 years ago.   General Remedies from Fr. William Doyle Prayer -- pray in temptation  Vigilance  Struggle against depression -- sadness increases scrupulosity   Obedience to an experienced confessor -- perfect, trustful and blind obedience Obedience of action putting into practice the freedom of conscience  Obedience of understanding -- soul remaining in revolt and persisting in its own erroneous ideas. Vanquishing errors of the intellect.   Generosity in Self-Conquest -- acts of self-denial   Particular remedies from Fr. William Doyle 19th century Doubts must be ignored  Belief in the easiness of forgiveness  Presuming decisions (of the spiritual director)  Lenient view of one's faults -- magnifying glass  Promptness in acting on decisions  Broad-minded interpretation of advice -- broadening the way.   Not piling up questions   Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous -- Fr. Thomas Santa, CSsR (2013) Without exception, you shall not confess sins you have already confessed.  You shall confess only sins that are clear and certain.  You shall not repeat your penance or any of the words of your penance after confession—for any reason.  You shall not worry about breaking your pre-Communion fast unless you put food and drink in your mouth and swallow as a meal  You shall not worry about powerful and vivid thoughts, desires, and imaginings involving sex and religion unless you deliberately generate them for the purpose of offending God  You shall not worry about powerful and intense feelings, including sexual feelings or emotional outbursts, unless you deliberately generate them to offend God.  You shall obey your confessor when he tells you never to repeat a general confession of sins already confessed to him or another confessor.  When you doubt your obligation to do or not do something, you will see your doubt as proof that there is no obligation  When you are doubtful, you shall assume that the act of commission or omission you're in doubt about is not sinful, and you shall proceed without dread of sin   You shall put your total trust in Jesus Christ, knowing he loves you as only God can and that he will never allow you to lose your soul Pastoral approach here.  Predestination for heaven, Jesus will make us go to heaven.  A lot of scrupulous clients are well enough formed to not believe that.   Secular means of recovery IOCDF:  Scrupulosity responds to the same treatments as those used with other forms of OCD.  Cognitive behavior therapy featuring a procedure called “exposure and response prevention” is the primary psychological treatment for scrupulosity. A certain kind of medicines called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) is the primary drug treatment for OCD. Treatment for scrupulosity may also include consultation from  leaders of the patient's faith tradition.  Exposure and Response prevention See the last Episode   Difficulties with ERP for scrupulosity. Joseph Ciarrocchi "Doubting Disease":  My opinion, based on the clinical and theoretical aspects of scruples, is that scruples are resistant to change because their religious nature places many of them in the domain of overvalued ideas. In other words, the person sees the stakes are so high in religious doubts (i.e. salvation depends and being correct) that the senselessness of the behavior is less evidence. After all, faith itself implies looking beyond sensory experiences in the surface meaning of reality. Scrupulous people usually know that their peers do not act the way they do. But since religious salvation is such an individual experience, can one really take a chance and ignore that's “inner voice”? Therefore, the religious aspects of scruples create a motivational drive around the symptoms which become overvalued ideas, and hence resistant to change.  Jaimie Eckert Scrupulosity Coach:  ERP can feel like it has deep moral and spiritual implications. Although it is a method that is helping you develop a normal spirituality, it can feel terribly frightening. For example, the woman who prays compulsively, repeating her prayers dozens of times until she feels they are done “right,” might be asked to pray only once and then stop, no matter how she feels. This can easily feel like a denial of faith. So scrupulous sufferers begin dropping out of treatment when ERP gets more intense.  Kevin Foss, Founder of the California OCD and Anxiety Treatment Center in Fullerton, CA:   People suffering with Religious Scrupulosity struggle with the ERP process because they fear that exposure therapy will result in a genuine sin, convey that they are OK with sin and that they do not respect God or God's will. Furthermore, Scrupulosity sufferers are generally knowledgeable of their faith's doctrine and Biblical texts, so they are quick to present chapter and verse explaining why they should avoid exposure and give in to compulsive acts. Despite my reminders of clients' logical arguments, they respond with “But you never know” and “But what if God mistakes my intention in the exposure and I'm now really guilty of sin?” So, to do anything that could potentially put that into question or undermine it was experienced as possibly damaging the practice of faith, challenging one's fundamental belief in God, or leaving one vulnerable to shifting beliefs and a slippery slope into sin. Psychodynamic approaches for treating OCD but can be applied to scrupulosity.  McWilliams  Ordinary kindness -- they know they are exasperating for reasons that are unclear to everybody Priests get frustrated.   Parents get frustrated   Do not hurry them, advise them, criticize them.   Avoid becoming the equivalent of the controlling, demanding parent -- no power struggles  But still relate warmly.  A lot of acceptance.   Avoid intellectualization  Help them express anger.   Discover their emotions and help them enjoy them.   Joseph Ciarrocchi. Doubting Disease Treatment program is laid out in his book, Doubting disease.  It is essentially exposure and response prevention.   Target the scruples you want to change Identify your obsessional scruples through self-monitoring.  Write them down.   Identify you compulsive scruples -- write them down.  Avoidance acts to reduce anxiety  Record the circumstances surrounding the scruples  Making ratings of the intensity of the anxiety triggered by each of the obsessions and compulsions.   Record the amount of time spent worrying about the scruples  Lots of forms and charts, all in the book.   Increase your Motivation to Change Looking at how motivated you are, and where you are in Prochaska and Di Clemente's stages of motivation to change.   Developing a Personal Motivation Plan Listing the Benefits of eliminating scruples  Listing the Costs of not changing scruples   Preparing for Change Setting up the plan for repeated exposure to the feared object or condition.   From the very start of the fear response, the body actually starts a counter-response mean to return the body to normal activity levels. Habituation.  Nervous system gets bored with the danger, returns to normal.   Example of jackhammer breaking up the asphalt on your road.   Exposure must be prolonged Exposure must generate significant anxiety Exposure must be repeated The compulsive response must be blocked.  Prevented from happening so it breaks the cycle of some relief from the compulsion.  Blocking the physical compulsion or the mental compulsion.   More charts and forms What I think about scrupulosity.  IFS-Informed Approach  I'm going to start with the bottom line.  I think scrupulosity is generated by a desperate attempt to find safety from a terrible, dangerous and uncaring God for shameful, undeserving, despicable sinner Scrupulosity is a twisted, frantic attempt to find some kind of safety from an angry, heartless God for me, a reprobate, a delinquent, an evildoer.  At the core, scrupulosity starts with really appalling, awful God Images -- and the scrupulous person usually isn't aware of the how terrible his or her God images really are, because they are not allowed into conscious awareness.   I discuss God images at length in episode 23-29 of this podcast, a seven episode series, all about God images, so check that out.   God Images =  My emotional and subjective experiences of God, who I feel God to be in the moment.  May or may not correspond to who God really is.  What I feel about God in my bones. This is my experiential sense how my feelings and how my heart interpret God. God images are often outside of our conscious awareness  Initially God images are shaped by the relationship that I have with my parents.     My God images are heavily influenced by psychological factors  Different God images can be activated at different times, depending on my emotional states and what psychological mode I am in at a given time.   God images are always formed experientially; God images flow from our relational experiences and  Also how we construe and make sense of those images when we are very young.  My God images can be radically different than my God concept. God Concept  = What I profess about God.  It is my more intellectual understanding of God, based on what one has been taught, but also based on what I have explored through reading.  I decide to believe in my God concept.  Reflected in the Creed, expanded in the Catechism, formal teaching.   Now I'm really going to apply IFS to Scrupulosity, grounding it in a Catholic understanding of the human person.  Discussed Robert Fox and Alessio Rizzo's Internal Family Systems approach to OCD in the last episode -- number 86 -- Obsessions, Compulsions, OCD and Internal Family Systems. Brief review:  Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God.   You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.   Brief review:  Self:  The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   Here is the critical idea:  Each Part has a God Image -- each part has a way of understanding God based on its limited experience and how it understands that experience We have as many God images as we have parts.   How God images form in parts.  Parts have distorted God images for three main reasons:  Parts learn via experience and the ways they interpret experience, especially in their spiritual inferences, can be markedly different than what God has revealed about Himself through the Catholic Church -- for example, a part whose role is to be dissociated from the rest of the system so as not to overwhelm the core self and other parts with its burden of interpersonal trauma may see God as distant, disconnected and uncaring, in a Deistic way;  Parts may be very afraid of, angry at, disappointed with or disinterested in God and therefore refuse to connect with Him, preventing them from having needed corrective relational experiences of a loving God Part's understandings of God can vary wildly.  One part may be angry and rejecting of God, another parts may be terrified of God, a third grieving the loss of God, a fourth distant and cold toward God and a fifth part, in the same person, may not believe that God even exists.   As different parts come up and blend with the self, becoming more prominent in the system, they bring their God images into conscious awareness.  That explains how our conscious perspectives of God can shift.  Whichever part of us has taken over, which ever part of us has blended and is driving our bus, that part's God image is dominating in the moment So, in my view, a scrupulous person's parts are in a life and death battle with each other about God.  It's more than physical life or death.  It's about spiritual life or death, eternal life or death, the stakes couldn't be higher.   The scrupulous person's managers believe that if they don't suppress parts with negative God images, the consequence could be to be damned to hell for all eternity.   Manager parts are trying to appease God -- seek his approval, make things all right, strive to meet his demands, to be perfect Fr. Thomas La Santa:  I will make God love me by becoming perfect.  In this way God will have to love me.  An enormous amount of energy is wasted by the scrupulous person trying to "fix" himself or herself or trying to become perfect.   Fr. Marc Foley: The command "Be ye perfect..." does not enjoin us to strive for a flawless performance in the various tasks of life, but to do them as God wills us. We feel driven to do an A+ job on projects in which we have overinvested our egos. But doing God's will often demands the courage to do a C+ job because God bids us to spend our time and energy on other tasks.  In order to do that, the manager parts have to suppress or exile the parts that have "offensive" God images or who may otherwise seem inappropriate or unacceptable to God.   Those that are angry at God Those that are disappointed in God Those who are disgusted with God. Those that are indifferent toward God. Those that don't believe God exists.   All those ways of construing God makes sense if you understand the part's experience and how it construes its experience.  They are not accurate, they don't correspond to how God really is, but the part doesn't know that.   Those that generate impulses to get God's attention via acting out in negative ways.   Manager parts reject any part that experiences God in any negative way.   Parts seeing other parts as evil, harmful, and terrifying.   Demons  Lepers Tax collectors Prostitutes Dangerous sinners -- banishing them.   Manager Parts can speak for God -- they assume they know what God wants.  Not in relationship with him, though.  Really following a code or a list of rules or expectations.  It's not about relationship, really.   First two conditions for secure attachment -- 1) felt safety and protection; 2) feeling seen known, heard and understood.  Drawing from Daniel P. Brown and David S. Elliott 2016 book Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair.   Felt safety and protection In Scrupulosity, there is no felt sense of safety and protection for so many parts, because of their God images and their fears about the God images of other parts being expressed.  .   The first primary condition of secure attachment is not met.   The most basic relational need is not met -- no felt safety, no felt protection. The first primary condition for secure attachment is felt safety and security.  It has be felt.  And not just by other parts, but by the target part.   We all have heretical God images.   Pastor Jonathan Edwards:  The wrath of God is like great waters that are dammed for the present; they increase more and more, and rise higher and higher, till an outlet is given; and the longer the stream is stopped, the more rapid and mighty is its course, when once it is let loose. It is true, that judgment against your evil works has not been executed hitherto; the floods of God's vengeance have been withheld; but your guilt in the meantime is constantly increasing, and you are every day treasuring up more wrath; the waters are constantly rising, and waxing more and more mighty; and there is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, that holds the waters back, that are unwilling to be stopped, and press hard to go forward. If God should only withdraw his hand from the flood-gate, it would immediately fly open, and the fiery floods of the fierceness and wrath of God, would rush forth with inconceivable fury, and would come upon you with omnipotent power; and if your strength were ten thousand times greater than it is, yea, ten thousand times greater than the strength of the stoutest, sturdiest devil in hell, it would be nothing to withstand or endure it.  How are you going to feel safe with a God like that?   Feeling Seen, Known, Heard, Understood   because there is no feeling of safety and protection for some parts, they don't want to be seen, heard, known and understood by God.  They don't want to be near God, they don't trust him And that makes sense, given how they see God.   Some parts may want to be seen heard known and understood by God, even if they don't feel safe -- they are desperate for attention, any kind of attention from God, even negative attention, so they signal distress by intense impulses toward acting out, especially in ways designed to get God's attention -- blasphemy, for example.  Just like a neglected little kid, desperate for some kind of attention from his father may act out.   Scrupulosity is the son of anger and the grandson of shame.  Core issues of shame that are suppressed and generate anger.  Anger is suppressed and generates fear and scruples.   Shame -- the root of so much psychological and emotional distress -- whole 13-epsiode series on shame, from episode 37 to 49.  All goes back to identity.  Who am I and Who is God.  Scrupulous individuals have a very hard time allowing their anger with God to emerge into conscious awareness and with anger in general.  Dangerous emotion But look at the unreasonably demanding and exacting God images their manager parts have -- Their God images are unjust.   Who would want to be with a God like that?  No part has a really positive God image Not wanting hell  But not really wanting heaven either -- to be face to face with a God like that for all eternity?  So God has no opportunity to show the scrupulous person, in relationship, who He really is.  Self-perpetuating. I wrote a blog on this on the Souls and Hearts website last week, on Inner Pre-Evangelization: A Focus on Internal Trust.  My Approach Lead from Self --The core of the person, the center of the person.  This is who we sense ourselves to be in our best moments, and when our self is free, and unblended with any of our parts, it governs our whole being as an active, compassionate leader.   We want to be recollected, we want the self governing all of our parts Like the conductor -- leading the musicians in an orchestra Like the captain -- leading and governing all the sailors on a ship.   When we are recollected, in self, 8 C's Calm  Curiosity  Compassion  Confidence  Courage  Clarity  Connectedness  Creativity  Kindness   Self as the secure internal attachment figure for the parts.  Parts coming to trust the self  -- Blog on  Working collaboratively with the parts -- contracting with them to not overwhelm Really accepting the parts right now, where they at.  Trusting that God is good enough to understand and tolerate our parts' feelings.   Scrupulosity as a gift, a signal. Look for the disorder underneath it.  Not a question of willpower.   Diabolical aspects Leaving people to their own devices  Discouragement, inward focus, despising self,  Spiritual Approach Not about overcoming scrupulosity  Blessed are the merciful for mercy shall be theirs  Childlike Simplicity and trust lessens our burdens.  Parvulos.  Little Children.  Dust and ashes.   Example of a parent -- would you prefer your child to be working on self-perfection  Perfectionism draws us to be big, perfect, competent, having it all together.  Jacques Phillipe:  The Way of Trust and Love -- particularly helpful for those struggling with scrupulosity.    p. 7 :  The heart of Christian life is to receive and welcome God's tenderness and goodness, the revelation of his merciful love and to let oneself be transformed interiorly by that love.   “We would like to be experienced, irreproachable, never making mistakes, never fall, possess unfeeling good judgment and unimpeachable virtues. Which is to say, we would like to have no more need of forgiveness or mercy, no more need of God and his help.  41 If we accept ourselves as we are, we also accept God's love for us. But if we reject ourselves, if we despise ourselves, we shut ourselves off from the love God has for us, we deny that love. 48-49 We need to practice gentleness toward ourselves so as not to get discouraged and condemn ourselves when faced with their weakness while also nurturing a great desire for holiness. But not a desire for extraordinary perfection. Holiness is different; it is a real desire to love God and our neighbor, and, issuing a kind of halfway love, go to loves extremes. 52 …we shouldn't fall into a kind of stubborn “therapeutic obstinacy,” with the aim of ridding ourselves absolutely of all imperfections or healing every wound. In doing that, we risk becoming impatient and concentrating our efforts on something God isn't specifically asking of us or, ultimately, paying more attention to ourselves than to him. 56-57 The more we accept ourselves as we are and are reconciled to our own weakness, the more we can accept other people and love them as they are. 49 What this podcast is all about.   Contrast that with Pastor Jonathan Edwards -- sinners in the hand of an angry God:  The bow of God's wrath is bent, and the arrow made ready on the string, and justice bends the arrow at your heart, and strains the bow, and it is nothing but the mere pleasure of God, and that of an angry God, without any promise or obligation at all, that keeps the arrow one moment from being made drunk with your blood.  Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  The Resilient Catholics Community at Soulsandhearts.com/rcc.  So much information there and videos.   I want to invite you to the Resilient Catholics Community The Why of the RCC --  It's all about loving with your whole heart -- all of your being.  Getting over all the natural level issues that hold you back from tolerating being loved and from loving God and others.   Who  Who is the Resilient Catholics Community for? It's for you. If you really are into this podcast, if these ways of conceptualizing the human person and integration and human formation and resilience are appealing to you, then the Resilient Catholics community, the RCC may be for you.   I am looking for listeners who want to be with other like-minded Catholics on the journey, on this adventure of human formation with me.   Who deeply desire a personal, intimate relationship with God and with Mary, a real human, close connection  And who recognize they have some natural-level impediments to that deep relating  and  who are willing to make sacrifices in time, effort, money, humility and courage to grow in human formation and overcome natural-level impediments to being loved and to loving  What want to shore up their natural foundation for the spiritual life, because grace perfects nature.   Who want to become saints.   Who are willing to be pioneers at the cutting edge in this adventure of human formation.  Really at the tip of the spear, the first explorers of this human formation ground for laymen and laywomen.   First of all the RCC is My Tribe, my people, bringing together two groups into one First, faithful, orthodox, serious Catholics who are wounded and suffering and know it  And Second, who are psychologically minded (or at least want to be psychologically minded), who believe in the unconscious and who embrace the unity and multiplicity of the human person  And who want to see through the lens of a core self and parts.  Unity and multiplicity make sense.   What of the RCC $99 nonrefundable registration fee gets you the The Initial Measures Kit -- which generates the Individual Results Sheet and the Personalized Human Formation Plan 5 pages of results about your parts  -- we've done about 70 of these now, and our members are amazed at the results, how accurately we are in helping them identify their parts and how their parts relate to each other, and the why behind their parts' desires and impulses.   Weekly premium Inner Connections podcast, just for RCC community members --Lots of experiential exercises.   A complete course for working on your human formation 44 weekly sessions over the course of a year for $99 per month subscription  Daily check ins with your companion -- accountability and structure  Weekly company meetings with 7 or 8 other members in your small group.   Office hours with me  Conversation hours with me  All this for $99 per month.  And we make it financially possible for anyone who is a good fit for the RCC to join through write-offs and scholarships.  The fees are not the tail that wags the dog.   And there also is opportunities for some parts-based individual coaching as well.   Essentially, the What of the RCC is a pilgrimage together.   The When of the RCC We open twice per year to new members in December and June, open until December 31..  We are open now.  Soulsandhearts.com/rcc to register.  Call me with questions!    317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  So sign up Soulsandhearts.com/rcc.   

In this episode Mark Feenstra guides me through his 'accompanying' process. This process, which Mark has developed after 25 years of experimentation, is something like a systems collapse aware mixture of Circling, Internal Family Systems, and Imaginal practice...but really it's totally unique (and very potent!). Mark is offering a workshop on this approach on December 11th/12th. If you'd like to join you can click here: https://public.3.basecamp.com/p/3domHkJiNhPctmd6zboebQhb --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/emerge/support

Kat Lee shares about doing the things you are supposed to do, but feeling empty and burnt out. You'll also hear about: How your Dao can help you remember who you were, before your wounding How Kat worked with the 5 elements to build an aligned business On why you don't need a guru The limitations of talk therapy  ♥♥♥ Join The Earth Speak Collective Membership! Join like-hearted folks in a sacred container and community where you'll: Connect deeply to yourself, others, nature & spirit Learn to trust your intuition Activate your Earth magic Expand your healing & divination skills Put your intuition into practice in everyday life Stop feeling lonely on your spiritual path Embody & express your creative power & truths Experience safe space without agenda or judgment When you join the Collective, you get access to all of our past workshops, any live workshops happening while you're a member, live weekly energetic reset calls, monthly community rituals, all the secret episodes, member-run meetups to explore magical topics, and a lively members-only forum (that's not on FB!). ▶▶▶ Learn more and sign up for the Collective membership here: https://www.earthspeak.love/collective ***** Kat Lee is a Trauma-Informed Emotional and Somatic Alchemy Coach, host of The Empowered Curiosity Podcast, and Creator of The Heart Lab. She guides her community to rewrite their relationship to safety, love, trust, and belonging so they are able to cultivate conscious relationships and manifest their Dao (purpose).  Kat believes that healing is a deep remembrance of who you are + recognizing that you are not broken. She believes that the Body, Mind, and Soul are interconnected and respond best to an integrated approach where all the parts of you are remembered. She believes in leaving room for magic. For slowing down to allow your intuition and Truth to rise to the surface. For finding validation through being rather than doing. For flowing through life being actively allowing rather than grasping. Kat's role as coach and space-holder is to be your mirror and share tools and techniques that lead you back to the clarity of your own Heart and autonomy to make choices that are best for you, your body and your Spirit.    In this episode, we talk about: Being a second-generation Korean-American woman On doing the things you are supposed to do, but feeling empty and burnt out The story of how Kat came to her work in the world Van life Embodying Daoist philosophy The ancient Daoist philosophers as the first somatic therapists How your Dao can help you remember who you were, before your wounding Breaking out of the should How our stories and conditions have kept us safe Why your wounding is so closely tied to your Dao On why you don't need a guru Kat shares about working with yarrow and reading her I Ching Nature as our greatest teacher The five elements and how they relate to emotional cycles and seasons Why we need anger How Kat worked with the 5 elements to build an aligned business Setting boundaries in business to avoid burnout On finding the Dao within ourselves Why Kat is no longer aligned with the practice of acupuncture On looking at your body as the storyteller of your life How Kat chose to create her own curriculum in her journey to become a coach Blending Daoist theory with western science On symptom-based treatment within capitalism Shifting our signs and symptoms, by looking within  and prioritizing our Dao and our mandate On being ok with not having it all figured it all out On learning to survive in a world that doesn't feel safe Love and light, and spiritual bypassing The duality of good and bad The limitations of talk therapy Kat shares about her upcoming workshop with Earth Speak And so much more! Secret Episodes! Get access to past secret episodes at https://www.earthspeak.love/secret. Links: Join the Earth Speak Collective Membership at https://www.earthspeak.love/collective Learn more about Kat's offerings at www.empoweredcuriosity.com Connect with Kat on Instagram @empoweredcuriosity // https://www.instagram.com/empoweredcuriosity/ Connect with Kat on Facebook @empoweredcuriosity Listen to The Empowered Curiosity Podcast Get the secret episodes at https://www.earthspeak.love/secret Join Holistic Business Academy with Sarah Chappell for soul-centered entrepreneurs to find their ideal clients, increase their income and impact, and build a supportive life of self-care and service. https://holisticbusinessacademy.com/join/ref/14 Sign up for the FREE webinar with Sarah where you'll learn how to attract your ideal customers without doing all the things https://holisticbusinessacademy.com/attract-es/ref/14 Purchase a one-time pass to the live Alchemy of Fear Workshop - https://www.earthspeak.love/workshops?loxi_pathname=%2Flist%2Ffuture%2F1 Become an Earth Speak Sponsor and reach more of the people you're meant to serve www.earthspeak.love/sponsor Support us and purchase our T-shirt || https://www.earthspeak.love/shop?utm_campaign=shownotes&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=organic&utm_term=shirt Support Earth Speak and make a donation https://www.earthspeak.love/checkout/donate?donatePageId=61a04698829f5f05eaac54e5&utm_[…]notes&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=organic&utm_term=donate  References: Natalie + Shawna || Episode 65 https://www.earthspeak.love/shows-1/natalie-and-shawna-65  Empowered Curiosity Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/empowered-curiosity-podcast/id1513669179 Native Land https://native-land.ca/ Acupuncture https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acupuncture Taoist philosophy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taoism Guru https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guru Yarrow https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achillea_millefolium Tarot cards https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarot I Ching book https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Ching  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bifurcation 5 elements https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wuxing_(Chinese_philosophy) Bessel van der Kolk https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bessel_van_der_Kolk Somatic healing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_experiencing Peter Schwartz https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Schwartz_(futurist) Internal Family Systems https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internal_Family_Systems_Model Polyvagal theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvagal_theory Jessica Benstock https://jessicabenstock.com/the-phoenix-path/ Sympathetic system https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathetic_nervous_system Parasympathetic system https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasympathetic_nervous_system IBS https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irritable_bowel_syndrome Coeliac https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coeliac_disease Tums https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tums Elizabeth Gilbert https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Gilbert     ► Leave us a written review on iTunes, and get shouted out on the show! Theme music is “It's Easier” by Scarlet Crow http://www.scarletcrow.org/ and “Meeting Again” by Emily Sprague  https://mlesprg.info/ ► Join the Earth Speak Collective Membership at https://www.earthspeak.love/collectiveFollow Earth Speak on Instagram and tag us when you share @earthspeak https://www.instagram.com/earthspeak

Today's episode is a replay of the most downloaded episode in the last 6 months with Dr. Frank Anderson. Dr. Anderson completed his residency and was a clinical instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He is both a psychiatrist and psychotherapist. He specializes in the treatment of trauma and dissociation and is passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with the IFS model of therapy. He is the author of the book, Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems, out now. Feedback & questions for the show: https://epiphanyvault.com/ Book - “Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family Systems” by Frank Anderson, MD - https://amzn.to/3xEdDsz Website - https://www.frankandersonmd.com/ Connect with Dr. Frank Anderson on IG: https://www.instagram.com/frank_andersonmd/ Connect with Lilli on IG: https://www.instagram.com/lillibewley/

Adena Bank Lees is a licensed clinical social worker and a board-certified expert in traumatic stress. She is an internationally recognized authority on trauma related to childhood sexual abuse, in particular Covert Emotional Incest (CEI). Adena's work has helped thousands of therapists effectively support clients recovering from the emotional and spiritual wounds of childhood sexual abuse and other traumas. Adena's work and contact info can be found at https://adenabanklees.com.

Welcome back to this week's #FridayReview where I can't wait to share with you the best of the week!   I'm looking forward to reviewing: Activated B-Complex Giveaway Redmond Real Salt New Line (product review) Internal Family Systems Therapy (book review) Johnson & Johnson & Neutrogena Sunscreen Recall (article) Pfizer $2.3 Billion settlement (article) For all the details tune into this week's #CabralConcept 2107– Enjoy the show and let me know what you thought! - - -   Show Notes & Resources: http://StephenCabral.com/2107 - - - Dr. Cabral's New Book, The Rain Barrel Effect https://amzn.to/2H0W7Ge - - - Join the Community & Get Your Questions Answered: http://CabralSupportGroup.com - - - Dr. Cabral's Most Popular At-Home Lab Tests: > Complete Minerals & Metals Test (Test for mineral imbalances & heavy metal toxicity) - - - > Complete Candida, Metabolic & Vitamins Test (Test for 75 biomarkers including yeast & bacterial gut overgrowth, as well as vitamin levels) - - - > Complete Stress, Mood & Metabolism Test (Discover your complete thyroid, adrenal, hormone, vitamin D & insulin levels) - - - > Complete Stress, Sleep & Hormones Test (Run your adrenal & hormone levels) - - - > Complete Food Sensitivity Test (Find out your hidden food sensitivities) - - - > Complete Omega-3 & Inflammation Test (Discover your levels of inflammation related to your omega-6 to omega-3 levels)

In this week's episode, I'm sharing the concept of Internal Family Systems therapy. I also share a very intimate insight of how my internal system (my firefighters) were trying to get my attention when I was in an unhealthy relationship. Ready to heal the effects of trauma on your brain and body? Click HERE to join the waitlist to work with me  January 2022. To follow me on Instagram, go here. https://www.instagram.com/anabell.ingleton/To grab my Triggers & Glimmers freebie, go here. https://anabellingleton.com/freebiePre roll disclaimer Disclaimer

Alicia Kay is a psychotherapist, holistic counselor, and coach. She talks to us specifically about Internal Family Systems. IFS is an approach to psychotherapy that is of the view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete sub-personalities, each with its unique viewpoint and qualities. Now, the reason I started this Soul Seekr pod, was to share my own experiences. I wanted to share from an authentic and vulnerable place. I wanted to do this so I could invite healing for others as well. So I'm a little nervous about this episode! Toward the end, we get real, and we get deep when she works on me with some things I share!  Let me know what you think. LINKS & RESOURCESWant to Start Your Own Podcast? I've used Buzzsprout to produce all of my podcasts and love it! Buzzsprout is the easiest platform to get your podcast onto all the major apps... iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, etc... It's FREE to sign up, but if you decide to upgrade to one of the paid plans later, you and I will both get a $20 Amazon gift card! That's a pretty sweet win-win deal if you ask me! Just use this link for either a free or paid plan: https://cutt.ly/ScbUtFWWizard Teams (Virtual Teams For YOU Managed by US) | https://cutt.ly/xmVsYTe Check out my Review of Pixar's "SOUL" Movie | https://cutt.ly/OmVsUNe Wizard Websites - Learn to Build a Website w/ Virtual Assistants | https://bit.ly/3lCw2kU Defiant Mushroom Coffee (Use "Sam15" for 15% OFF!) | https://defiantcoffee.co/ Permission to Podcast (Simply Show Up & Record): https://bit.ly/2N2NUoI FREE Guide on How to Uncover Your Gifts & Share them with the World | https://buff.ly/3gmml7t Spiritual Blogs & More | https://buff.ly/2Sq6Gtl Start Your Dream Business | https://buff.ly/2xpy2ITFreeup | https://cutt.ly/txFc7eV Go here if you need to hire reliable VA's. (you'll also get a $25 coupon PS. It's free to sign up!)SwagStore by SwagWorx | https://cutt.ly/bbeEK0Q Connect w/ Alicia | https://cutt.ly/tTuweE3 Alicia's Website | https://cutt.ly/RTuwt9w Book a FREE 60-min session w Alicia | https://cutt.ly/oTuwibE LET'S BE SOCIALJoin the journey — come hangout on social mediaInstagram | https://www.instagram.com/samkabert/ Join the Soul Seekr Facebook Group | https://buff.ly/2yi8ldA Twitter | https://twitter.com/soul_seekr_ LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/kabert/  YouTube | https://buff.ly/3e4kXUO  ASK me ANYTHING: Email is Sam@CloneYourselfU.com and you can book a FREE business strategy call with me by going to Calendly.com/CLONE.THANK YOU!SamSupport the show (http://soulseekrz.com/medicine)

Description: Tired of feeling at war with yourself? Ready to experience a deep sense of inner-harmony? You've come to the right place! Today on the show, I'm chatting with Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder and developer of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapeutic model. Trained as a family therapist, Dr. Schwartz became curious about why, after rearranging his clients' external environments, they weren't experiencing the internal-relief he hoped they would. Digging deeper, he began asking his clients what was keeping them stuck. They spoke of “parts” dialoguing within themselves, who were in conflict with one another. Client after client spoke to this phenomena, and Dr. Schwartz discovered that there was a way in which these parts related to one another that was universal from one client to the next. This was the beginning of IFS! Now an evidence-based form of psychotherapy, IFS is a model designed to help individuals heal their inner-family of parts who get burdened and exiled through traumatic experiences, and are forced into roles they don't want to play. When these parts feel safe to relax and release their burdens, one is able to access a state of being characterized by a sense of calm, clarity, wisdom, and confidence- or the "Self, as Dr. Schwartz he came to identify it. The Self exists in all of us, and it can't be damaged by trauma. Internal Family Systems is designed to support individuals to access, and lead their inner and outer worlds from, the “Self.” In the Episode: - His shift from practicing as a family therapist to creating the Internal Family Systems model - Listening to your parts as “inner assets” - Parts get forced into extreme roles that then lead to inner-distress - Through working with one of Erika's parts, Dick gives a demo of how he uses IFS with clients - The role of the “Self” in the IFS model - The universal qualities of the Self- the part of us that can't be damaged by trauma and knows how to heal hurting parts - How to differentiate between parts and the Self - The three categories of “roles” that parts get forced into playing: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters - How IFS can be used with children and in couples therapy - How to lead your life from Self and relate to your inner-family, in a loving way, as a daily practice ...AND more!!! Connect with Dick: Books Website Connect with Wirth Wellness: Website Instagram Virtual "Hiking" with a Healer! Sign Up! This episode is sponsored by: Anchor -Anchor is one of the easiest ways to start a podcast. Download the Anchor App, or go to www.anchor.fm to get creating! Please Note the Following Disclaimer! By listening to this podcast, you understand that the topics discussed are intended, solely, for informational purposes. The information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should not be relied on as such. In listening to the podcast, you also agree that Wirth Wellness is not responsible for any outcomes or decisions you make, relating to any information presented on the show. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wirthwellnessbyerika/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/wirthwellnessbyerika/support

Jo-Ann Venezia Phillips is a Clinical Social Worker and Psychotherapist currently running a private practice in Medway Massachusetts. Jo-Ann's interests fall heavily on the somatic and depth psychologies, mindfulness, meditation, and the emerging field of relational neuroscience. Educated in social work at both the undergraduate and graduate levels at Salam State University, she believes in a holistic view of the self, looking at a person from a bio-psych-social- and spiritual perspective. Jo-Ann's approach integrates developmental, psychoanalytic, and relational psychologies incorporating contemplative, meditative and mindfulness-based approaches to her practice. Over the last 20 years Jo-Ann has trained and practiced in a variety of settings and modalities, primarily with adults and adolescents focusing on the exploration and understanding of the human experience. Jo-Ann has extensive experience, education and training in addiction recovery and trauma. She specializes in working with high-risk behaviors, anxiety, stress, depression, issues with relationships and coping challenges. Her strengths are in teaching adaptive coping skills, exploring underlying causes and identifying and implementing solutions. She has an integrative approach using the theoretical frameworks of Internal Family Systems, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness- Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Motivational Interviewing and EMDR. In the last several years she has focused on Trauma and Post Traumatic Growth. Using the relational field, Jo-Ann invites her clients to enter into the therapeutic relationship with the spirit of collaboration, exploration and compassion. Grounded in the understanding that a strong therapeutic relationship is vital to the healing and transformation process, Jo-Ann uses play, humor, compassion and warmth to foster a deep connection with those she works with. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/steven-opalenik/support

Dr. Richard Schwartz PHD is the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapy, and in this podcast he brings me into a vulnerable and emotional reconciliation with an aspect of my Self. IFS is a transformative model of psychotherapy that seeks to integrate fractured ‘parts' of our identity that are developed from experiential wounds (trauma) occurring early on in life. The idea is to acknowledge the adaptive role that these parts have played, and invite them to integrate back within our core Self, so that we can re-capture our fullest expression. This is an extremely powerful show. A special thank you to the Psychedelic Coalition for Health for inviting me to host my show on their platform.    Connect with Dr. Richard Schwartz Website | https://ifs-institute.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/internalfamilysystems/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/IFS_Model Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/InternalFamilySystems/   This episode is sponsored by:   World View  claim your seat on a journey from the world's most amazing destinations to the edge of space thewholeworldview.com   Plunge get $111 off your Cold Plunge Tub by visiting https://thecoldplunge.com/pages/amp and use the promo code "AMP" at checkout   Onnit Get 10% off Onnit products |  https://www.onnit.com/Aubrey/   Connect with Aubrey: Website | https://www.aubreymarcus.com/ Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/aubreymarcus/ Twitter | https://twitter.com/aubreymarcus Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/AubreyMarcus/ YouTube | https://bit.ly/2DLctpk   Check out  Own The Day Own Your Life by Aubrey Marcus|  https://bit.ly/2t6x4hu   Subscribe to the Aubrey Marcus Newsletter:  https://www.aubreymarcus.com/pages/email   Subscribe to the Aubrey Marcus Podcast: iTunes | https://apple.co/2lMZRCn Spotify | https://spoti.fi/2EaELZO Stitcher | https://bit.ly/2G8ccJt IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/3CiV4x3 Google Podcasts | https://bit.ly/3nzCJEh Android | https://bit.ly/2OQeBQg  

We've all heard about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, often referred to — and even minimized in today's lexicon  -- as PTSD. It is a psychiatric disorder that sometimes occurs in people who have experienced or witnessed a horrific event, such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act (think 9/11) war or combat or rape, or who have been threatened with sexual violence or serious harm. Our grandfathers and great-grandfathers may have come across PTSD in the form of combat fatigue or shell shock. But trauma doesn't just befall combat veterans. In today's podcast episode, Dr. Tanner Wallace, in her most transparent and beautiful self, explores how trauma experienced as a child from abuse or neglect impacts our lives as adults in our relationships with our spouses and lovers, our children, our friends, and colleagues. Unrealized trauma experienced as children wreaks havoc on our adult lives, often toxifying the very relationships we hold the most dear. “Trauma is always context-bound,”  she says. Tanner spent 20 years studying human development before she pivoted to work exploring the nature of childhood trauma. The pivot came about as a result of big problems in her second marriage and her parenting in which Tanner's own trauma resurfaced from sexual assaults as an adolescent and teenager and some abuse at the hands of a parent. The realization sent Tanner off on a completely new path, utilizing what she learned about human development. She created a platform called the Relational Healing Lab. She uses her podcast and Instagram to talk the language of childhood trauma. Tanner has unlocked the voices for thousands of childhood trauma survivors. Ultimately, Tanner says, you can heal from childhood trauma through the right kind of work. I'll let Tanner explain. In our conversation, Tanner is brutally honest about her own struggle to heal and what she learned about the immense difficulties of healing. This conversation is very personal and that is probably why it is among the most transformative conversations I've ever had on Interesting Humans. For the past six months, I've been in therapy to address some difficult challenges in my personal life.  I've uncovered my own unrealized childhood trauma caused by neglect from my parents, including anger and violence from my father, who is now deceased.  I'm so grateful the universe sent Tanner across my radar. She offers insight, hope, and love on the way to finding peace for childhood trauma survivors. I hope you enjoy meeting Dr. Tanner Wallace. Links:Dr. Tanner Wallace's podcast: Relational Healing PodcastDr. Tanner Wallance on Instagram: @drtannerwallaceGabor Mate film: The Wisdom of Trauma (to be released December 2021)Richard C. Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems approach to trauma therapyPete Walker, From Surviving to Thriving, a book on addressing childhood traumaJustin Martin, IFS therapistIntro and outro music provided by WILDES

Psychologist Jim Hopper and I discuss the neurobiology of trauma, MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD, the critical role embodied treatment modalities play in trauma healing, and use of Buddhist psychology and Internal Family Systems (IFS) for trauma resolution. He fully explicates the process used in the FDA-approved and MAPS-sponsored MDMA phase 3 trials, discusses the results, and clarifies for whom MDMA, Ketamine or psilocybin sessions could be adjunctive trauma treatment. We also discuss a habit model of understanding trauma response as well as an updated ethical view of addiction. Jim is a consummate communicator. That, coupled with his depth and breadth of knowledge about trauma therapy, make this episode a critical listen for every clinician working in the trauma field. JIm's websiteJim's publicationsJim Hopper, PhD is most often sought for his expertise on the neurobiology of trauma and sexual assault, and on the unique experiences and needs of males who have experienced sexual abuse or sexual assault. He trains others in contemplative practices that transform the brain to bring healing and genuine happiness, and is co-editor of Mindfulness-Oriented Interventions for Trauma: Integrating Contemplative Practices. He is a sub-investigator at the Boston site of the FDA-approved and MAPS-sponsored phase 3 trial of MDMA-Assisted Therapy for PTSD. Jim is a Teaching Associate in Psychology in the Department of Psychiatry of Harvard Medical School, and a consultant to the Outpatient Addictions Service of the Cambridge Health Alliance.

Join Dr. Peter to go way below the surface and find the hidden meanings of obsessions, compulsions and OCD.  Through poetry and quotes, he invites you into the painful, distressing, fearful and misunderstood world of those who suffer from OCD.  He defines obsessions and compulsions, discusses the different types of each, and evaluates two conventional treatments and one alternative treatment for OCD.  Most importantly, he discusses the deepest natural causes of OCD, which are almost always disregarded in conventional treatment, which focuses primarily on the symptoms.   Lead-in OCD is not a disease that bothers; it is a disease that tortures. - Author: J.J. Keeler   “It can look like still waters on the outside while a hurricane is swirling in your mind.” — Marcie Barber Phares  Poetry or word picture (prayer of the scrupulous)  Aditi Apr 2017  Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  OCD.  That is what we are addressing today. Here is what OCD is like for Toni Neville -- she says:  “It's like being controlled by a puppeteer. Every time you try and just walk away he pulls you back. Are you sure the stove is off and everything is unplugged? Back up we go. Are you sure your hands are as clean as they can get? Back ya go. Are you sure the doors are securely locked? Back down we go. How many people have touched this object? Wash your hands again.”  Introduction We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com  Today, we are getting into obsessions and compulsions -- a really deep dive into what's really going on with these experiences.  I know many of you were expecting me to discuss scrupulosity today -- And you know what?  I was expecting I would be discussing scrupulosity well, but in order to have that discussion of scrupulosity  be well-founded, we really need to get into understanding obsessions and compulsions first.  I have to bring you up to speed on obessions and compulsions before we get into scrupulosity, and there is a lot to know The questions we will be covering about obsessions and compulsions. What are Obsession and Compulsions? Getting into definitions.   Also What are the different types of obsessions and compulsions, the different forms that obsessions and compulsions can take What is the experience of OCD like?  From those who have suffered it.   Who suffers from obsessions and compulsions -- how common are they?  Who is at risk?  Why do obsessions and compulsions start and why do they keep going?  How do we overcome obsessions and compulsions?  How do we resolve them?   What does the secular literature say are the best treatments"  -- Medication and a particular kind of therapy called Exposure and Response Prevention Alternatives   Can we find not just a descriptive diagnosis, but a proscriptive conceptualization that gives a direction for healing, resolving the obsessions and compulsions  Not just symptom management. Definitions  Obsessions  DSM-5: Obsessions are defined by (1) and (2): Recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or impulses that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or distress.  The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action (i.e., by performing a compulsion).  Not pleasurable   Involuntary My compulsive thoughts aren't even thoughts, they're absolute certainties and obeying them isn't a choice. - Author: Paul Rudnick  To resist a compulsion with willpower alone is to hold back an avalanche by melting the snow with a candle. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. - Author: David Adam   Individual works to neutralize the obsession with another thought or a compulsion.   From the International OCD Foundation:  Obsessions are thoughts, images or impulses that occur over and over again and feel outside of the person's control. Individuals with OCD do not want to have these thoughts and find them disturbing. In most cases, people with OCD realize that these thoughts don't make any sense.  Obsessions are typically accompanied by intense and uncomfortable feelings such as fear, disgust, doubt, or a feeling that things have to be done in a way that is “just right.” In the context of OCD, obsessions are time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values.  Common Obsessions  Sources What is OCD? Article by the International OCD Foundation on their website  WebMD article How Do I Know if I Have OCD? By Danny Bonvissuto February 19. 2020  Northpointrecovery.com blog What Types of OCD Are There? Get the Breakdown Here by the Northpoint Staff from May 3, 2019  Article entitled Common Types of OCD: Subtypes, Their Symptoms and the Best Treatment by Patrick Carey dated July 6, 2021 on treatmyocd.com   Contamination Body fluids --- blood, urine, saliva, feces -   I gave my baby niece a serious illness when I held her --  I'm sure I got a disease from using the public restroom.   Germs for communicable diseases -- may be afraid to shake hands, worried about catching gonorrhea  Environmental contaminants -- radiation, asbestos  Household chemicals -- cleaners, solvents  Dirt  If you put the wrong foods in your body, you are contaminated and dirty and your stomach swells. Then the voice says, Why did you do that? Don't you know better? Ugly and wicked, you are disgusting to me. - Author: Bethany Pierce   Losing Control Giving in to an impulse to harm yourself --  I could jump in front of this bus right now.   Fear of acting on an impulse to harm others -- what if I stabbed my child with this knife?  Fear of violent or horrific images in your mind  Fear of shouting out insults or obscenities --  Fear of stealing things   Harm Fear of being responsible for some terrible event (causing a fire at an office building)  Fear of harming others because of not being careful enough (leaving a stick in your yard that fell from a tree in a wind storm that may trip and hurt an neighbor child)   Relationships Doubts about romantic partner -- is she the right one for me?  Is there a better one I am supposed to find?  What if we are not meant to be together, but we wind up marrying each other?  Is my partner faithful?   Unwanted Sexual Thoughts Forbidden or perverse sexual thoughts or images  Sexual obsessions involving children  Obsessions about aggressive sexual behavior toward others   Obsessions related to perfectionism Concern about evenness or exactness   need for things to be in their place Arranging things in a particular way before leaving home   Concern with a need to know or remember  Inability to decide whether to keep or discard things  Fear of losing things  Fear of making a mistake -- may need excessive encouragement from others  Needing to make sure that your action is just right -- I need to start this email over, something is not wright with the wording.   Obsessions about your Sexual Orientation Obsessions about being embarrassed in a public situation Getting a non-communicable disease such as cancer Superstitious ideas such as unlucky numbers or certain colors Religious Obsessions (Scrupulosity) Concern with offending God  Concerns about blasphemy  Concerns about right and wrong, morality.   Compulsions  Definitions  DSM-5 Compulsions are defined by (1) and (2): Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly.  The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or prevent, or are clearly excessive.  Most people with OCD have both obsessions and compulsions.   From the International OCD Foundation Compulsions are the second part of obsessive compulsive disorder. These are repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person uses with the intention of neutralizing, counteracting, or making their obsessions go away. People with OCD realize this is only a temporary solution but without a better way to cope they rely on the compulsion as a temporary escape. Compulsions can also include avoiding situations that trigger obsessions. Compulsions are time consuming and get in the way of important activities the person values.   Common Compulsions in OCD  Sources What is OCD? Article by the International OCD Foundation on their website  WebMD article How Do I Know if I Have OCD? By Danny Bonvissuto February 19. 2020  Northpointrecovery.com blog What Types of OCD Are There? Get the Breakdown Here by the Northpoit Staff from May 3, 2019  Article entitled Common Types of OCD: Subtypes, Their Symptoms and the Best Treatment by Patrick Carey dated July 6, 2021   Washing and Cleaning Washing hands excessively or in a certain way  Excessive showering, bathing, toothbrushing, grooming  Cleaning items or objects excessively   Checking Checking that you did not or will not harm anyone  Checking that you did not or will not harm yourself  Checking that nothing terrible happened  Checking that you did not make a mistake  Checking specific parts of your body   Repeating Re-reading or re-writing   Repeating routine activities Going in and out of doors  Getting up and down from chairs   Repeating body movements Tapping  Touching  Blinking   Repeating activities in multiples Doing things three times, because three is a good, right or safe number   Mental Compulsions Mental review of events to prevent harm (to oneself others, to prevent terrible consequences)  Praying to prevent harm (to oneself others, to prevent terrible consequences)  Counting while performing a task to end on a “good,” “right,” or “safe” number  Cancelling” or “Undoing” (example: replacing a “bad” word with a “good” word to cancel it out)    Putting things in order or arranging things until it “feels right” or are in perfect symmetry Telling asking or confessing to get reassurance Avoiding situations that might trigger your obsessions  Obsessions and Compulsions go together  The vicious cycle of OCD -- Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at helpguide.org Obsessive thought  --  I could stab my nephew with this knife.  Anxiety -- that would be a terrible thing to happen, I can't let that happen  Compulsion -- Locking all the knives away, checking to make sure they are all accounted for when your sibling and her family are visiting  Temporary relief -- the knives are all there.  “A physical sensation crawls up my arm as I avoid compulsions. But if I complete it, the world resets itself for a moment like everything will be just fine. But only for a moment.” —  Mardy M. Berlinger Harm Obsession     Compulsion:  Keeping all knives hidden away somewhere What if I killed my nephew and I just can't remember?  Repeatedly going back to check if you ran someone over DSM-5 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Presence of obsessions, compulsions, or both:  The obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.  The obsessive-compulsive symptoms are not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or another medical condition.  The disturbance is not better explained by the symptoms of another mental disorder   Specify if: With good or fair insight: The individual recognizes that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are definitely or probably not true or that they may or may not be true.  With poor insight:  The individual thinks obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are probably true.  With absent insight/delusional beliefs: The individual is completely convinced that obsessive-compulsive disorder beliefs are true. 4%  With Tic disorder up to 30%   What is the experience of OCD Poem By Forti.no   Quotes: “You lose time. You lose entire blocks of your day to obsessive thoughts or actions. I spend so much time finishing songs in my car before I can get out or redoing my entire shower routine because I lost count of how many times I scrubbed my left arm.” — Kelly Hill  “Ever seen ‘Inside Out'? With OCD, it's like Doubt has its own control console.” — Josey Eloy Franco  “Imagine all your worst thoughts as a soundtrack running through your mind 24/7, day after day.” — Adam Walker Cleveland  “Picture standing in a room filled with flies and pouring a bottle of syrup over yourself. The flies constantly swarm about you, buzzing around your head and in your face. You swat and swat, but they keep coming. The flies are like obsessional thoughts — you can't stop them, you just have to fend them off. The swatting is like compulsions — you can't resist the urge to do it, even though you know it won't really keep the flies at bay more than for a brief moment.” — Cheryl Little Sutton  “It's like you have two brains — a rational brain and an irrational brain. And they're constantly fighting.” — Emilie Ford   Who 12 month prevalence is 1.2% with international prevalence rates from 1.1 to 1.8%  NIH Women have a higher prevalence 1.8% than men 0.5%.  Males more affected in childhood.  Lifetime prevalence 2.3%   Risk Factors:  DSM-5  Temperamental Factors Greater internalizing symptoms  Higher negative emotionality  Behavioral inhibition   Environmental Factors Childhood physical abuse  Childhood sexual abuse  Other stressful or traumatic events   Genetic Monozygotic concordance rates --.57  Dizygotic concordance rates .22   Physiological  Dysfunction in the orbitofrontal cortex, anterior cingulate cortex, and striatum have been implicated.   Streptococcal infection can precede the development of OCD symptoms in children Therapy  Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) -- Developed originally in the 1970s Stanley Rachman's work a type of behavioral therapy  that exposes the person to situations that provoke their obsessions causing distress, usually anxiety which leads to  the urge to engage in the compulsion  that gives them the temporary relief.   The goal of ERP is to break the cycle of obsessions --> anxiety --> compulsion --> temporary relief.  So you are exposed to you anxiety provoking stimulus, and have the obsession, but you prevent the compulsive response, and you don't get the temporary relief.  Basic premise: As individuals confront their fears and no longer engage in their escape response, they will eventually reduce their anxiety. The goal is to habituate, or get used to the feelings of the obsessions, without having to engage in the compulsive behavior.  This increases the capacity to handle discomfort and anxiety.  Then one is no longer reinforced by the temporary anxiety relief that the compulsion provides.   Patrick Carey writes that: Any behavior that engages with the obsession– e.g. asking for reassurance, avoidance, rumination– reinforces it. By preventing these behaviors, ERP teaches people that they can tolerate their distress without turning to compulsions. It thereby drains obsessions of their power.  Division 12 of the APA   Essence of therapy: Individuals with OCD repeatedly confront the thoughts, images, objects, and situations that make them anxious and/or start their obsessions in a systematic fashion, without performing compulsive behaviors that typically serve to reduce anxiety. Through this process, the individual learns that there is nothing to fear and the obsessions no longer cause distress. From the IOCDF :  With ERP, the difference is that when you make the choice to confront your anxiety and obsessions you must also make a commitment to not give in and engage in the compulsive behavior. When you don't do the compulsive behaviors, over time you will actually feel a drop in your anxiety level. This natural drop in anxiety that happens when you stay “exposed” and “prevent” the compulsive “response” is called habituation. Instead, a person is forced to confront their obsessive thoughts relentlessly. The goal is to make the sufferer so accustomed to their obsessions that they no longer feel tempted to engage in soothing compulsions. Types of Exposure -- GoodTherapy.org article Imaginal Exposure: In this type of exposure, a person in therapy is asked to mentally confront the fear or situation by picturing it in one's mind. For example, a person with agoraphobia, a fear of crowded places, might imagine standing in a crowded mall.  In Vivo Exposure: When using this type of exposure, a person is exposed to real-life objects and scenarios. For example, a person with a fear of flying might go to the airport and watch a plane take off.  Virtual Reality Exposure: This type of exposure combines elements of both imaginal and in vivo exposure so that a person is placed in situations that appear real but are actually fabricated. For example, someone who has a fear of heights—acrophobia—might participate in a virtual simulation of climbing down a fire escape.   Steven Pence, and colleagues in a 2010 article in the American Journal of Psychotherapy:  "When exposures go wrong: Troubleshooting guidelines for managing difficult scenarios that arise in Exposure-based treatment for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder The present article reviews five issues that occur in therapy but have been minimally discussed in the OCD treatment literature:  1) when clients fail to habituate to their anxiety -- they don't calm down2) when clients misjudge how much anxiety an exposure will actually cause3) when incidental exposures happen in session -- other fears in the fear hierarchy intrude.  4) when mental or covert rituals interfere with treatment -- covert compulsive behaviors5) when clients demonstrate exceptionally high anxiety sensitivity.  Stacey Smith Counseling at stacysmithcounseling.com -- ERP failures Utilizing safety behaviors  Not sitting with the anxiety until it dissipates -- distracting yourself  Not working through all the irrational, unhelpful thoughts  Not practicing often enough.   ERP criticisms  Can be really unpleasant for clients -- repeated exposures to terrifying stimuli -- can there be a better way? Concerns about safety and security   Concerns about flooding with anxiety  Ben Blum: Inside the Revolutionary Treatment That Could Change Psychotherapy Forever  elemental.medium.com July 21, 2020 Robert Fox is haunted by a memory of a germophobic woman with OCD whom he met once while she was hospitalized. As part of her ERP therapy, the therapists took her into the bathroom and had her wipe her hands over the toilet and sink and then rub them through her hair. She wasn't permitted to shower until the next morning.   Concerns about dropout rates.   Dropout rate of 18.7% across 21 ERP studies with 1400 participants Clarissa Ong and colleagues in 2016 article in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders Dropout rate of 10% among youth for ERP in a 2019 meta-analysis by Carly Johnco and her colleagues in the Journal "Depression and Anxiety" 11 randomized trials I'm concerned that it doesn't go deep enough  Not getting to root causes -- staying at the symptom level -- seeing symptoms as nonsensical One thing which I can't stress enough is that OCD is completely nonsensical and will not listen to reason. This is one of the most frightening things about having it. I knew that to anyone I told, there are Salvador Dali paintings that make more sense. - Author: Joe Wells   What is the fear really about.  Let's not just ignore it.  Fear is a response to something. Tracing back layers, going back through grief and anger, all the way to shame.  Shame episodes 37-49.   Doesn't get to any spiritual issues Medication  International OCD Foundation Drugs and dosages High doses are often needed for these drugs to work in most people.   Research suggests that the following doses may be needed:  fluvoxamine (Luvox®) – up to 300 mg/day  fluoxetine (Prozac®) – 40-80 mg/day  sertraline (Zoloft®) – up to 200 mg/day   paroxetine (Paxil®) – 40-60 mg/day   citalopram (Celexa®) – up to 40 mg/day*   clomipramine (Anafranil®) – up to 250 mg/day  escitalopram (Lexapro®) – up to 40 mg/day   venlafaxine (Effexor®) – up to 375 mg/day   How Do These Medications Work?  From the International OCD Foundation.  It remains unclear as to how these particular drugs help OCD. The good news is that after decades of research, we know how to treat patients, even though we do not know exactly why our treatments work. We do know that each of these medications affect a chemical in the brain called serotonin. Serotonin is used by the brain as a messenger. If your brain does not have enough serotonin, then the nerves in your brain might not be communicating right. Adding these medications to your body can help boost your serotonin and get your brain back on track.   Discussion of conventional approaches  Medication  I am not a physician -- I'm a psychologist and I don't have prescription privileges I don't give advice on medication choices or on dosages or anything like that.  If you think your medication is helping your OCD, I'm not going to argue with you about that --  I don't want to try to dissuade anyone from taking medication for psychological issues if they think it's helping them.   Here's the thing, though.  So much of your thinking about medication depends on what you see as the cause of the problem It makes sense to take medication if you think the obsessions and compulsions pop up because of chemical imbalances.   You take the medication to restore the chemical balance and reduce the symptoms.  So many of treatments for OCD treat the obsessions and compulsions as meaningless, as irrational, as just the random epiphenomena of consciousness, or just as nonsensical expressions of miswiring in the brain or just the effects of poorly balanced neurochemical in the brain.     And so these approaches, like ERP that and medication that target the obsessions and compulsions for eradication, that seek to vanquish them result in multiple problems  I think that is a major, major mistake.   And here is what I want to emphasize.  Obsessions and Compulsions are symptoms.  They are symptoms.  Obsessions and compulsions, as painful and as debilitating as they are for many people, those obsessions and compulsions are not the primary problem.  They are the effects of the primary problem.  Obsessions and compulsions happen late in the causal chain.  I see meaning in every obsession and in every compulsion.  I see a message in every obsession and compulsion.  A cry for help, a signal of deeper distress.   There are cases in which a psychological problem can be purely or primarily organic -- due to a medical condition -- for example due to head trauma that causes brain damage.  Or a brain tumor on the pituitary gland that disrupts your whole endocrine system, resulting in mood swings. But, Most of the time, though, psychological symptoms have psychological causes.   As a Catholic psychologist, I want to move much further back in the causal chain.  I want to address and resolve the underlying issues that give rise to the obsessions in the first place.   Self Help  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) at helpguide.org  Identify your triggers Can help you anticipate your urges  Create a solid mental picture and then make a mental note. Tell yourself, “The window is now closed,” or “I can see that the oven is turned off.”  When the urge to check arises later, you will find it easier to re-label it as “just an obsessive thought.”   Learn to resist OCD compulsions by repeatedly exposing yourself to your OCD triggers, you can learn to resist the urge to complete your compulsive rituals --  exposure and response prevention (ERP)  Build your fear ladder -- working your way up to more and more frightening things.   Resist the urge to do your compulsive behavior The anxiety will fade You're not going to lose control or have a breakdown Practice Challenge Obsessive thoughts Thoughts are just thoughts   Write down obsessive thoughts and compulsions Writing it all down will help you see just how repetitive your obsessions are.  Writing down the same phrase or urge hundreds of times will help it lose its power.  Writing thoughts down is much harder work than simply thinking them, so your obsessive thoughts are likely to disappear sooner.   Challenge your obsessive thoughts. Use your worry period to challenge negative or intrusive thoughts by asking yourself What's the evidence that the thought is true? That it's not true? Have I confused a thought with a fact?   Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?  What's the probability that what I'm scared of will actually happen? If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?   Is the thought helpful? How will obsessing about it help me and how will it hurt me?   What would I say to a friend who had this thought?   Create an OCD worry period. Rather than trying to suppress obsessions or compulsions, develop the habit of rescheduling them. Choose one or two 10-minute “worry periods” each day, time you can devote to obsessing.  During your worry period, focus only on negative thoughts or urges. Don't try to correct them. At the end of the worry period, take a few calming breaths, let the obsessive thoughts go, and return to your normal activities. The rest of the day, however, is to be designated free of obsessions.  When thoughts come into your head during the day, write them down and “postpone” them to your worry period.   Create a tape of your OCD obsessions or intrusive thoughts. Focus on one specific thought or obsession and record it to a tape recorder or smartphone.  Recount the obsessive phrase, sentence, or story exactly as it comes into your mind.  Play the tape back to yourself, over and over for a 45-minute period each day, until listening to the obsession no longer causes you to feel highly distressed.   By continuously confronting your worry or obsession you will gradually become less anxious. You can then repeat the exercise for a different obsession.   Reach our for support Stay connected to family and friends.  Join an OCD support group.  Manage Stress Quickly self-soothe and relieve anxiety symptoms by making use of one or more of your physical senses—sight, smell, hearing, touch, taste—or movement. You might try listening to a favorite piece of music, looking at a treasured photo, savoring a cup of tea, or stroking a pet.   Practice relaxation techniques. Mindful meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and other relaxation techniques can help lower your overall stress and tension levels and help you manage your urges. For best results, try practicing a relaxation technique regularly. Lifestyle changes Exercise regularly  Get enough sleep  Avoid alcohol and nicotine   Not sure this is going to work.  Doesn't get to root causes.   IFS as an alternative From Verywellmind.com  What is Internal Family Systems?  By Theodora Blanchfield, August 22, 2021    What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy? Internal family systems, or IFS, is a type of therapy that believes we are all made up of several parts or sub-personalities. It draws from structural, strategic, narrative, and Bowenian types of family therapy. The founder, Dr. Richard Schwartz, thought of the mind as an inner family and began applying techniques to individuals that he usually used with families.  The underlying concept of this theory is that we all have several parts living within us that fulfill both healthy and unhealthy roles. Life events or trauma, however, can force us out of those healthy roles into extreme roles. The good news is that these internal roles are not static and can change with time and work. The goal of IFS therapy is to achieve balance within the internal system and to differentiate and elevate the self so it can be an effective leader in the system.   Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  Robert Fox and Alessio Rizzo  have done the most work with IFS to work with obsessions and compulsions.    Sources IFS and Hope with OCD with Alessio Rizzo and Robert Fox -- Episode 102 of Tammy Sollenberger's podcast The One Inside -- September 17, 2021  Podcast IFS Talks:  Hosts Aníbal Henriques & Tisha Shull  A Talk with Robert Fox on OCD-types -- Robert Fox   February 20, 2021   Robert Fox, IFS therapist with OCD  Ben Blum: Inside the Revolutionary Treatment That Could Change Psychotherapy Forever  elemental.medium.com July 21, 2020 https://elemental.medium.com/inside-the-revolutionary-treatment-that-could-change-psychotherapy-forever-8be035d54770   Robert Fox, a therapist in Woburn, Massachusetts, also wishes more people knew about IFS. Diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder at age 21 after a lifetime of unusual compulsions, he spent 23 years receiving the standard care: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure response prevention (ERP). Neither had much effect, especially ERP, which involved repeatedly exposing himself to things he was anxious about in the hopes of gradually habituating to them. “When you think about it, it's a very painful method of therapy,” he says. Fox discovered IFS in 2008. Before, he had always been encouraged to think of his compulsions as meaningless pathologies. Now, for the first time, they began making sense to him as the behavior of protectors who were trying to manage the underlying shame and fear of exiles. After two particularly powerful unburdenings, his symptoms abated by 95% and stayed that way. “[OCD] used to be almost like kryptonite around my neck when I would have serious flare-ups,” he says. “I feel a lot of freedom and peace and I really owe it to Dick [Schwartz] and the model.” Concerns about ERP  ERP doesn't bring the curiosity -- why did this happen?   Obsessions are not irrational and Compulsions are not meaningless Alessio Rizzo Conventional OCD diagnosis and treatment ERP and medication -- nothing points back to underlying causes. Alessio Rizzo:  Evidence-based approaches for OCD that work -- they work by drawing a manager part into a role of suppressing OCD symptoms  Needing to continue ERP.   Causes:  Fox Repressed anger. -- not a parent who could witness   Intense shame that is dissociated Shame from childhood -- exiled  Shame from the OCD itself.  -- sarcasm from others, especially from his older brother.   “OCD is like having a bully stuck inside your head and nobody else can see it.” — Krissy McDermott   We hide what we are ashamed of -- not easy to treat.   Fox on his treatment:  Right. I didn't see it myself until one day I was out for a walk with my dog Gizmo around my block, walking around the block with him and I had been to all these lectures about shame and I was walking one day and all of a sudden it was like, it just came to me “Holy, Holy, Holy shit. I carry that shame.” And it was like a dark cloud that was overhead and just kind of followed me wherever I went. And it was actually not an awful thing to realize. That's what had been basically walking around on my back for so long. It was this deep shame. In agreement with how central I think shame is to OCD Obsessions and compulsions develop gradually and experiment with different ways of drawing attention away from the intensity of underlying experience.  All happens in silence in the inner world.   An obsession or compulsion distracts us from the pain of an exile.  If I'm worrying about the gas in the lawnmower overflowing and blowing up the house -- takes me away from the shame of feeling inadequate at work.   Needs to be powerful enough to hijack my mind So many layers of protectors  -- takes time Alessio Rizzo Post dated March 3, 2021 entitled "IFS and OCD -- A Comparison Between CBT and IFS for OCD.  https://www.therapywithalessio.com/articles/ifs-and-ocd-how-does-the-ifs-method-work-for-ocd In IFS, we use the language of parts to describe how we function. As a consequence, the OCD is considered a part of the person. This means that, even if the OCD seems quite a strong presence in the client's life, there is much more to a person than OCD.  At this stage CBT and IFS might look similar because CBT also encourages clients to label the anxieties and the intrusive thoughts that form the OCD and not engage with them.  The main difference between CBT and IFS is in how we relate to the OCD part.  One of the foundational elements of IFS is that all parts are welcome, and, therefore, the OCD part is not dismissed or ignored, but it is respected. Respect does not mean that the client will believe the content of intrusive thoughts or that they will follow up on whatever behaviour the OCD wants. IFS gives us a way to make sure that there is enough safety and calm before offering respect to the OCD part. This might take a different amount of attempts depending on the severity of the OCD, and on the strength of the relationship between therapist and client.  Healing OCD with IFS  The main difference between CBT and IFS is in the definition of “cure” of OCD.  CBT therapy has the ultimate goal of empowering the client to overcome OCD thoughts and anxieties by never engaging with them or by using exposure therapy to demonstrate that the OCD fears and obsessions have got no evidence to exist.  IFS believes that healing is the result of the re-organisation of parts so that extreme behaviour is substituted by more functional ways of thinking and acting, and, above all, IFS aims at healing the traumatic events that have led to the development of OCD symptoms.    The result of healing the trauma that fuels OCD is a spontaneous decrease of OCD anxieties and intrusive thoughts and, in my opinion, this form of healing is preferable to the one described by CBT. Using IFS language, the CBT approach aims at creating a new part in the system that is tasked with managing the OCD, while there is no attention paid to discovery and healing of the trauma that is fueling the OCD.Choosing the method that best suits you There is no way of saying what method works best for a person.  Therapy outcomes depend on many factors and not only on the method used. Sometimes the quality of the therapeutic relationship is the biggest healing factor, and it is ultimately up to the client to find the best combination of therapist and method that can best suit them. Colleen West, LMFT LMFT  December 20 post on her website colleenwest.com  Treating OCD with Internal Family Systems Parts Work Just a word about treating OCD with IFS versus Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Treating obsessive and compulsive parts with IFS is diametrically opposed to treating it in the Exposure and Response Prevention, the most commonly recommended approach. IFS treats OCD parts as what they are--managers and fire fighters, they have jobs to do. If you can help the exiles underneath these protectors, there will be less need for the OCD behaviors. (This might be complicated if there are still constant stressors in the client's life, for which they need the protection.)   IFS does work, and I have successfully treated people with full blown OCD who now have about 5% of their original symptoms only during moments of high stress, and they do not consider themselves OCD anymore. These clients have been helped by taking SSRIs as well, which I will say more about below.ERP works to suppress those same protectors that IFS seeks to understand/care for. It does "work", as people get a strategy for the thoughts that are driving them nuts, but the folks I know who have gone through this treatment find they have to do their 'homework' forever or the OCD comes back, and they always feel it threatening. In short, it is stressful, and the fight is never over.For anyone doing ERP, they have to commit fully to that approach, the homework is hours a day, and one cannot be halfhearted about it or it won't work. The good thing about ERP is that it gives people some control, which they strongly desire, because they feel so powerless. Next episode Episode 87, will come out on December 6, 2022 Scrupulosity --  I have such a different take -- Scrupulosity is what happens with perfectionism and OCD get religion.   Spiritual and Psychological elements.   In the last episode we really got into understanding perfectionism.  In this episode, we worked on really getting to know about obsessions and compulsions.  Next episode, we get much more into scrupulosity.  My own battle with scrupulosity.   Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Resilient Catholics Community.  Talked a lot about it in episode 84, two episodes ago.  We now have 106 on the waiting list.  Reopening the community on December 1 for those on the waiting list first.  Can learn a lot more about the RCC and you can sign up at soulsandhearts.com/rcc.  We have had heavy demand.  We may have to limit how many we bring in.  I am working to clear time in my calendar to review the Initial Measures Kits and help new members through the onboarding process -- all the individual attention takes time.  I'm also hiring more staff to help.   Pray for me.  Humility.  Childlike trust   Invocations        

Anti-diet therapist and Binge Eating Disorder expert Amy Pershing joins us to discuss how our fatphobic culture hinders recovery, how diet culture steals our personal power, the healing that can be found in getting angry, the role of restriction and trauma in binge eating, and so much more! Plus, Christy answers a listener question about quick ways for primary-care providers to talk to patients about intuitive eating and HAES. (This episode originally aired on March 26, 2018.) Amy Pershing LMSW, ACSW is the Clinical Director of the Center for Eating Disorders (CED) in Ann Arbor. In 1993, she developed “Bodywise™,” a comprehensive treatment program to serve a growing population of clients coming to the center with binge eating disorder (BED). In 2008, Pershing and Chevese Turner, CEO and founder of Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), joined forces to found Pershing Turner Consulting LLC which offers training to clinicians treating BED nationwide. Pershing has pioneered an integrated approach based on almost 30 years of clinical experience. Her approach is strengths-based, incorporating Internal Family Systems, mindfulness strategies, Self Compassion interventions, and a range of somatic trauma techniques. Her approach also integrates intuitive eating and movement and a “health at every size” philosophy. Pershing offers two- and three-day Intensives for those in recovery, as well as “Hungerwise™,” a 10-week program for ending chronic dieting and weight cycling offered jointly with with St. Joseph Mercy Health System in Michigan. Pershing lectures internationally and writes extensively on the treatment of BED and her own recovery journey for both professional and lay communities. She has been featured on numerous radio and television programs speaking about BED treatment and recovery, relapse prevention, weight stigma, and mindful eating and movement. She is the winner of BEDA's Pioneer in Clinical Advocacy ward. Pershing has also served on a variety of professional boards and is the Past Chair of the Binge Eating Disorder Association. Her book, published by Taylor and Francis, will be out in late summer 2018. She maintains a clinical practice in Ann Arbor. Find her online at TheBodyWiseProgram.com. Subscribe to our newsletter, Food Psych Weekly, to keep getting new weekly Q&As and other new content while the podcast is on hiatus! If you're ready to break free from diet culture once and for all, come check out Christy's Intuitive Eating Fundamentals online course. You'll get all your questions answered in an exclusive monthly podcast, plus ongoing support in our private community forum and dozens of hours of other great content. Christy's first book, Anti-Diet, is available wherever you get your books. Order online at christyharrison.com/book, or at local bookstores across North America, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand. Grab Christy's free guide, 7 simple strategies for finding peace and freedom with food, for help getting started on the anti-diet path. For full show notes and a transcript of this episode, go to christyharrison.com/foodpsych. Ask your own question about intuitive eating, Health at Every Size, or eating disorder recovery at christyharrison.com/questions.

For some people, loving relationships seem impossible. Our culture has given us many lies about love and intimacy, like the idea that we should be able to find our soulmate or that true love is easy. Unfortunately, many of us also suffer from complex PTSD due to relational trauma and have not seen or been a part of a healthy, secure relationship. So, has your past trauma made you incapable of having a healthy relationship? What if you've been abused so severely in childhood or adolescence or adulthood that you wonder if you can trust other people again?In this podcast episode (final one for Season 4), Ameé speaks with Dr. Frank Anderson, a psychiatrist and brain-based psychotherapist about an innovative way to work with complex PTSD from abuse called Internal Family Systems. This therapy helps heal relational trauma by addressing the parts of yourself who have been hurt and haven't healed yet. By identifying these parts and listening to their stories, they can begin to let go of old wounds and learn new ways of being in relationships without re-experiencing past traumas.Resources:https://www.frankandersonmd.com/https://catalog.pesi.com/item/transcending-trauma-preorder-80361Amazon Link: Transcending Trauma: Healing Complex PTSD with Internal Family SystemsLinks to buy The Fearless Woman's Guide to Starting a BusinessAmazon (Audio, Print, Kindle Versions): https://amzn.to/3daO7nABarnes and Noble- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomansGuideBookshop- https://bit.ly/FearlessWomanBookshopVisit https://www.ameequiriconi.com/ for more articles about self-help, healing from trauma, leadership, business, and more!

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 4 reasons that worry scares you and how to be more fearless Episode 2148: 4 Reasons Worry Scares You and How to Be More Fearless by Ingrid Y Helander on Anxiety Relief Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/4-reasons-worry-scares-you-and-how-to-be-more-fearless/  Gusto is making payroll, benefits, and HR easy for small businesses. Get 3 months free once you run your first payroll with our link: Gusto.com/OLD Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalLivingDaily Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the last week of domestic violence awareness month, so I wanted to explore the topic of narcissistic trauma and recovery. Caroline Strawson helps us understand the complexities of narcissistic trauma and the healing journey that is necessary for those of us who have suffered from it.  Caroline Strawson is a multi award winning narcissistic trauma informed therapist and coach and best selling author of Divorce Became My Superpower. She has completely transformed her life from being at rock bottom after her divorce to a narcissist; and now works on helping others process the trauma of narcissistic abuse for post traumatic growth. Show Highlights Caroline shares her story of divorce from a narcissist and her transformation. (7:45) The narcissist is the abuser. Trauma is what you hold in your body about the narcissist. (15:20) You can't change the abuse, but you can change your experience and what you say to yourself about the abuse. That's the key element to healing. (18:29) Caroline explains the traffic lights of tolerance analogy and how it ties to our normal nervous system response to trauma or abuse. (20:01) The root of codependency and narcissism is trauma. (27:56) How to support a friend or loved one as they heal from narcissistic trauma. (38:07) The three stages for healing from narcissistic trauma. (42:25) Why Caroline says you can't co-parent with a narcissist. Instead, she says choose parallel parenting. (44:41) Learn More About Caroline: Caroline Strawson is a multi award winning Trauma Informed therapist and coach, #1 best selling  author and #1 iTunes rated podcast, The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast. She specialises in helping heal the trauma of narcissistic abuse at a deep nervous system level. She uses a unique integration of therapy and coaching including EMDR, Brainspotting, RTT, Breath work, Internal Family Systems and positive psychology. She was diagnosed with complex PTSD, depression, anxiety and self harm in 2011  and was in over $100,000 debt and had her home repossessed after a narcissistic marriage. She  has now helped thousands of women globally with her Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme and her Narcissistic Trauma Unlocking Method™.  She has appeared in national newspapers, magazines, television and BBC Radio to give hope to  others and lift the guilt and shame associated with the trauma of narcissistic abuse.  Resources & Links:For links and resources also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/narcissistic-trauma-recovery-with-caroline-strawson The Divorce Survival Program is here.  Learn more or purchase! Caroline's website  The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast Caroline on Instagram Caroline on Facebook TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: THE DIVORCE SURVIVAL PROGRAM As one of the pioneers of the divorce coaching industry, I've been helping women (most of whom are moms) navigate the divorce process for the last decade. AND NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL OF MY DIVORCE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE IN ONE ONLINE PROGRAM. This program is 100% for you if… You're a mom looking for a clear roadmap to a divorce that won't destroy your kids You're looking for answers and a roadmap You understand that divorce is a long game You're willing to put away your boxing gloves You want this to be a respectful and collaborative process in service of your kids You understand that divorce is, first and foremost, an emotional process and you're ready to ‘go there' Are you ready to learn from one of the world's top divorce experts and set yourself on the path towards the best possible outcome? YEAH, Y'ARE!!! JOIN THE SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO FACEBOOK GROUP

Deaconess Heidi Goehmann, LCSW, joins Andy to talk about understanding different types of therapy, what is happens in a typical session, and how they may be useful. In this episode, we discuss the Gottman Method of relationship therapy, play therapy, Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Neurofeedback therapy.  Hear Mental Health Mondays each Monday at 9am CT! Find all episode with the tag "Mental Health Monday." View Deaconess Heidi's Mental Health Playlist on Youtube, listen to the Life in Relationship Podcast, and find all of her writings and resources at heidigoehmann.com.

Listen in as Elizabeth Cush journeys deeper into the Internal Family Systems model as a way to tap into Self energy. “When we're stepping into a new environment, or doing something that's a little bit out of our comfort zone, parts show up that maybe we weren't aware of.” — Biz Cush You can find the full show notes, resources and more at AwakenYourWiseWoman.com

Episode 82: Radical Self Compassion, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Learning To Love All Parts of Yourself with Jami Lynn Bula IFS or Parts Work for Binge Eating and Sugar Addiction ***Internal Family Systems Written Explanation Below About Jami Lynn Bula: Jami Lynn is a relationship and sexuality therapist practicing in Austin, TX. Jami Lynn is an IFS, Internal Family Systems practitioner. She is also the founder of Practice Intimacy, an online educational platform designed to help people create intimacy in their mind, body, and relationships. Connect With Jami Lynn: Instagram @PracticeIntimacy Website: www.jamilynnbula.com Jami Lynn Boundaries Course: Boundaries: Create Your Peace (online training available at www.jamilynnbula.com/boundaries Mindfulbellie 21 Day Reset: January 2022 Registration Mindfulbellie.com/21dayreset 1:1 Coaching with Ellie Set Up A Strategy Session calendly.com/Mindfulbellie ***The Internal Family Systems Model Outline from Internal Family Systems Website: https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/internal-family-systems-model-outline I. BASIC ASSUMPTIONS OF THE IFS MODELIt is the nature of the mind to be subdivided into an indeterminate number of subpersonalities or parts. Everyone has a Self, and the Self can and should lead the individual's internal system. The non-extreme intention of each part is something positive for the individual. There are no "bad" parts, and the goal of therapy is not to eliminate parts but instead to help them find their non-extreme roles. As we develop, our parts develop and form a complex system of interactions among themselves; therefore, systems theory can be applied to the internal system. When the system is reorganized, parts can change rapidly. Changes in the internal system will affect changes in the external system and vice versa. The implication of this assumption is that both the internal and external levels of system should be assessed. THE SELF: Curious, compassionate, calm part of you that is always there. GENERAL GROUPS OF PARTS EXILES Young parts that have experienced trauma and often become isolated from the rest of the system in an effort to protect the individual from feeling the pain, terror, fear, and so on, of these parts If exiled, can become increasingly extreme and desperate in an effort to be cared for and tell their story Can leave the individual feeling fragile and vulnerable MANAGERS Parts that run the day-to-day life of the individual Attempt to keep the individual in control of every situation and relationship in an effort to protect parts from feeling any hurt or rejection Can do this in any number of ways or through a combination of parts -- striving, controlling, evaluating, caretaking, terrorizing, and so on. FIREFIGHTERS Group of parts that react when exiles are activated in an effort to control and extinguish their feelings Can do this in any number of ways, including drug or alcohol use, self-mutilation (cutting), binge-eating, sex binges Have the same goals as managers (to keep exiles away) but different strategies --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/mindfulbellie/support

Christian psychologist, author, and speaker -  Dr. Alison Cook -  joins the podcast today. Dr. Cook specializes in the integration of faith and psychology.  She does groundbreaking work in the area of Internal Family Systems through a Christian lens. She is also the co-author of “Boundaries for Your Soul”. Dr. Cook leads us into a discussion on codependent relationships and God. She assists us in understanding how God wants to launch us into a healthy and spiritually maturing relationship with Him. Dr. Cook gives practical insight on how it looks in our lives when we are in a codependent place with God. Tune in to this powerful and liberating episode with Dr. Cook. You will indeed be blessed! Information for Dr. Alison Cookhttps://www.alisoncookphd.com/https://www.facebook.com/alisoncookphdhttps://instagram.com/alisoncookphd?utm_medium=copy_linkhttps://www.alisoncookphd.com/boundaries-for-your-soul-book/#preorder-bookInformation for Dr. Gadson https://www.drmoniquesmithgadson.com/Link to order “Session Notes:  Intimate Times with God":https://www.drmoniquesmithgadson.com/store/p/k8psfln7jh72diw8i36txniwi2e05xFollow us on social media: https://www.facebook.com/And-The-Church-Said-Podcast-106848090932637https://instagram.com/drmoniquesmithgadson?igshid=1bmt2hei1j6i8https://twitter.com/DrMoSmithGadsonSupport And The Church Said:Cash App:  https://cash.app/$andthechurchsaidPayPal:  https://paypal.me/andthechurchsaid?locale.x=en_US

Ingrid Y. Helander talks about how to manage feelings of worry and use them to your advantage Episode 1120: Your Worsening Worry Wants Your Help to De-Stress by Ingrid Y. Helander on How Worrying Helps You Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/your-worsening-worry-wants-your-help-to-de-stress/   Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com  Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Internationally renowned therapist and bestselling author Jenna Riemersma shares her simplified introduction to Internal Family Systems, a leading-edge approach to addiction treatment.

Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why he learned that they were plagued by what they called “parts.” These patients became his teachers as they described how their parts formed networks of inner relationships that resembled the families he had been working with. He also found that as they focused on and, thereby, separated from their parts, they would shift into a state characterized by qualities like curiosity, calm, confidence and compassion. He called that inner essence the Self and was amazed to find it even in severely diagnosed and traumatized patients. From these explorations, the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s. IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms. In 2013 Schwartz left the Chicago area and now lives in Brookline, MA where he is on the faculty of the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. List of Books: https://ifs-institute.com/store/category/11/author/4 Featured Articles: https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/evolution-internal-family-systems-model-dr- richard-schwartz-ph-d https://ifs-institute.com/resources/articles/larger-self

In this episode, Mikey Noechel offers a talk on practicing kindness and acceptance to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions which may be viewed as wrong, bad, or evil. Mikey offering a loving kindness meditation with the phrases:May you be at easeMay you be at peaceMay you be kind and gentle with yourselfMay you be filled with loving kindness

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 4 new ways to convert worry to confidence Episode 2125: Four New Ways to Convert Worry to Confidence by Ingrid Y. Helander on Accessing Your Calm and Confident Self Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/four-new-ways-to-convert-worry-to-confidence/  Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalLivingDaily Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 4 new ways to convert worry to confidence Episode 2125: Four New Ways to Convert Worry to Confidence by Ingrid Y. Helander on Accessing Your Calm and Confident Self Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here:   Interested in advertising on the show? Visit 

Joe Hawley Newsletter: https://www.joe-hawley.com/ (https://www.joe-hawley.com/) Want access to the extended episode? Subscribe to the podcast onhttps://quantumcoffee.supercast.tech/ ( Supercast). Want to watch this episode? Subscribe to myhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH-fGbXb-BCZ2d7c1LIXjdg ( Youtube Channel) If You Enjoy This Show Please Subscribe and Give Us a 5-Star Rating ★★★★★ and Review onhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/quantum-coffee-with-joe-hawley-podcast/id1526131260 ( Apple Podcasts) This week we have Jordan Rahme on the podcast! Jordan is a transformation coach, Human Design teacher, writer, DJ, and men's leader. His no-BS approach to self-development guides others into clarity, personal mastery and uniquely authentic expression of Self. He bridges ancient Eastern wisdoms with modern Western technologies to deeply understand our inner + outer worlds, rewire our behaviors, and design a life fueled by Purpose.   As founder ofhttps://evolvedmasculine.co/ ( Evolved Masculine) and a certified Shamangelic healer, Jordan supports humanity through men's embodiment + integration work, inner-child healing, non-violent communication, transmuting old traumas and re-writing limiting belief systems.   In this episode, Jordan and I dive into Internal Family Systems, creating safety around shame, and how inner child work can heal wounds of our past. Jordan also gives a detailed description of Human Design and we both discuss how we've used it to understand ourselves on a deeper level. Tools and works discussed in this episode: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1632243250&sr=8-1 (The Body Keeps the Score) - Bessel Van Der Kolk Episode 61 on https://youtu.be/T5PEeEq-g5c (YouTube)   Connect with Jordan Rahme: Offerings | https://evolvedmasculine.co/ (Men's Work) & https://jordanrahme.square.site/ (Human Design bookings) (use code: JOE at checkout for 10% off) Instagram |https://www.instagram.com/jordanrahme/ ( @jordanrahme) Twitter |https://twitter.com/JordanRahme ( @jordanrahme) Instagram |https://www.instagram.com/evolved.masculine/ ( @evolved.masculine) Connect with Joe Website |http://www.joe-hawley.com/ ( www.joe-hawley.com) Website |https://www.thehartcollective.com/ ( The Härt Collective) LinkedIn |http://linkedin.com/in/joe-hawley ( Joe Hawley) Instagram |https://www.instagram.com/joe.hawley/ ( @joe.hawley)   Looking for remote work? Check outhttp://www.growmotely.com/companies?afmc=thc ( growmotely.com)   Former pro athlete? Looking for community? You're not alone. Check outhttps://manvandogblog.us19.list-manage.com/track/click?u=969247962f6f6290a6a25a27f&id=57d147c59e&e=f05c590f0c ( The Härt Collective).   Hart Collective Retreats:https://www.thehartcollective.com/events ( https://www.thehartcollective.com/events)   Check out my reality based podcast,https://www.lovenlifepodcast.com/ ( Love 'n Life)   Checkhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-beyond-the-game/id1533171572 ( Life Beyond the Game), where I talk to former professional athletes about their transition out of sports   If You Enjoy This Show Please Subscribe and Give Us a 5-Star Rating ★★★★★ and Review onhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/quantum-coffee-with-joe-hawley-podcast/id1526131260 ( Apple Podcasts) Quantum Coffee is a show that provides deep, powerful, insightful conversations with top thought leaders and experts in the field of holistic healing in all areas including the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. We curiously discuss esoteric topics, spirituality, alternative healing modalities, sacred plant medicine and psychedelics along with personal stories of transformation, healing and growth with the intention to share the wisdom, knowledge and personal experiences of the these leaders who are paving the way in...

Many of us carry around the belief that therapy is about "fixing" the parts of ourselves that are broken or wrong. Here at Onsite, we say it's not fixing what's wrong with you, but rather about uncovering what is right with you. Today's guest, Laura Ramey, therapist and Executive Director of Milestones at Onsite, joins Miles and Lindsey to unpack a unique therapeutic modality called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Through curiosity and compassion, this modality creates room to connect with all the parts of ourselves—even the ones that we feel are "broken" or "wrong." Throughout the episode, Laura shares the practical ways she applies the modality of Internal Family Systems with her clients at Milestones and personally in every area of her life—including parenting, partnership, and leadership.   Use code PODCAST and get $40 off any of our emotional wellness master classes: onsiteworkshops.com/classes  

  Join me as we discover explore all the elements of perfectionism, from its root causes to its surface manifestations, through an Internal Family Systems lens, grounded in a Catholic world view.  Through poetry, quotes, research findings, personal examples and the current professional literature, I pull together many strands into a unified whole to help you deeply grasp the internal experience of perfectionism. Intro The Quintessential Persona    Leanna Smith   We are together in this great adventure, this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am honored to be able to spend this time with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, we are taking on the tough topics that matter to you.   We bring the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith.    Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com Let's get into answering the questions -- the who, what, where, when, why, and how of perfectionism.  This is episode 85 of the Interior Integration for Catholics Podcast it's titled:  Perfectionism:  Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How Perfectionism -- a major, major problem for so many Catholics.   A major, major problem for so many of us.  Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill  2019 Psychological Bulletin Article:  Perfectionism Is Increasing Over Time: A Meta-Analysis of Birth Cohort Differences From 1989 to 2016 reviewed dozens of studies from a 27 year timespan all using the same instrument  the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale by Hewitt and Flett  164 study samples comprising more than 41,000 college students in the US, Canada and Great Britain between 1989 and 2016  Results:  there is no doubt.  Perfectionism among college students is on the rise.  Between 1989 and 2016,  the scores for socially prescribed perfectionism —  or perceiving that other have excessive expectations of me — increased by 33%.  Other-oriented expectations — putting unrealistic expectations on others — went up 16% and self-oriented perfectionism — our irrational desire to be perfect — increased 10%   The Who of Perfectionism -- the Parts The What of Perfectionism -- What is it?  What are the different kinds of perfectionism, what are the elements? Where Does Perfectionism Come From Within Us When Does Perfectionism Get Activated? Why Does Perfectionism Start and Why Does it Keep Going? How Do We Overcome Perfectionism?  How do we resolve it?  Not just a descriptive diagnosis, but a proscriptive conceptualization that gives a direction for healing, resolving the perfectionism.  Not just symptom management, this is your cross nonsense.  There are real crosses that God gives us. Yes.  But those crosses fit well.  The crosses we impose upon ourselves do not fit well.    What -- What is perfectionism?  You know that I want precise definitions when we dive into deep topics together.  I think it's ironic that there is a lot of unclear, sloppy thinking about perfectionism by perfectionists.  Shining a bright clear light on it.   Definition of Perfectionism Brene Brown:  The Gifts of Imperfection:  Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels the primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize painful feelings or shame, judgment and blame  Marc Foley O.C.D.  Editor of Story of a Soul: Study Edition  There is an unhealthy striving for perfection which psychologists call perfectionism. Perfectionism is the state of being driven to achieve a standard of perfection in an area of life that is fueled by either the fear of failure or the need for approval. This unhealthy striving is not the type of perfection to which God calls us.   So you may have perfectionistic parts that would like to challenge me on this.  Your perfectionistic parts may say to me  So, Dr. Peter, Mr. Catholic Psychologist, you want us to have low standards, huh?  You think that would be better, for us to be lazy, to be weak, to take our ease, to relax, to give up the fight, to be mediocre, to be lukewarm, huh?  Is that what you are saying?  Didn't St. Jerome say:  Good, better, best, never let it rest, 'till your good is better, and your better's best  First off, let's start with your quote.  Often attributed to St. Jerome, but there's no evidence for it in his writings:  Fr. Horton addresses this alleged quote on his blog fauxtations.   September 26, 2016 post.  "Good, better, best: St. Jerome?" Oldest google books attribution is from 2009.   1904 Dictionary of Modern Proverbs  1897 Christian Work: Illustrated Family Newspaper.   Others attribute it to Tim Duncan, NBA all-star player, often considered the greatest power forward of all time.   I want you to pursue excellence.   Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence or a commitment to self-improvement. There is a critical distinction between striving for excellence and perfectionism.   Let's discuss what perfectionism is not.    Brene Brown:  Perfectionism is not self-improvement./ Perfectionism is, at it's core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance  Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Healthy striving is self-focused – How can I improve? Perfectionism – is other focused – What will they think?” End quote.  What will they think? Brene Brown  Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead:  “Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth. Perfectionism is a defensive move. It's the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.”  Agnes M. Stairs, Smith, Zapolski, Combs, and Settles:  Clarifying the construct of perfectionism Assessment 2012  732 people 15 different perfectionism measures -- Factor analytic modeling  Found nine different personality traits associated with perfectionism:  Need for Order, Need for Satisfaction of a Job Well Done, Details and Checking, Perfectionism toward Others, High Personal Standards, Black and White Thinking about Tasks, Perceived Pressure from Others, Dissatisfaction with Personal Performance, Reactivity to Mistakes.   9 personality traits  Order  I like things to be neat  Things should always be put away in their place  I like to be orderly in the way I do things   Satisfaction I feel satisfied with my work after I do something well  I get excited when I do a good job  I feel great satisfaction when I feel I have perfected something   Details and Checking I often check my work carefully to make sure there are no mistakes  It takes me a long time to do something because I check my work   many times Perfectionism toward Others I have high standards for the people who are important to me  I expect a lot from my friends   I expect others to excel at whatever they do   High Standards I set extremely high standards for myself  I expect high levels of performance from myself  I have very high goals   Black and White Thinking about Tasks and Activities I will not do something if I cannot do it perfectly  There's no point in doing something if I cannot do it perfectly   Perceived Pressure from Others People expect high levels of performance from me  Others expect me to be perfect  I often feel that people make excessive demands of me   Dissatisfaction It feels like my best is never good enough   I often don't live up to my own standards  I rarely feel that what I have done is good enough   Reactivity to Mistakes When I make a mistake, I feel really bad  If one thing goes wrong, I feel that I cannot do anything right  I feel like a complete failure if I do not do something perfectly   Signs of Being a Perfectionist  GoodTherapy.org article last updated 11-05-2019  Not be able to perform a task unless they know they can do it perfectly.  View the end product as the most important part of any undertaking. As a result, they may focus less on the process of learning or completing a task to the best of their ability.  Not see a task as finished until the result is perfect according to their standards.  Procrastinate. People with perfectionism may not want to begin a task until they know they can do it perfectly.  Take an excessive amount of time to complete a task that does not typically take others long to complete.  Examples of Perfectionistic Behaviors -- GoodTherapy.org article last updated 11-05-2019 Spending 30 minutes writing and rewriting a two-sentence email.  Believing that missing two points on a test is a sign of failure.  Difficulty being happy for others who are successful.  Holding oneself to the standards of others' accomplishments or comparing oneself unfavorably and unrealistically to others.  Skipping class or avoiding a chore because it is pointless to make an effort unless perfection can be achieved.  Focusing on the end product rather than the process of learning.  Avoiding playing a game or trying a new activity with friends for fear of being shown up as less than perfect.   The Who of Perfectionism -- the Parts Definition of Parts:  Separate, independently operating personalities within us, each with own unique prominent needs, roles in our lives, emotions, body sensations, guiding beliefs and assumptions, typical thoughts, intentions, desires, attitudes, impulses, interpersonal style, and world view.  Each part also has an image of God and also its own approach to sexuality.  Robert Falconer calls them insiders.  You can also think of them as separate modes of operating if that is helpful.   Types of perfectionism -- Jay Early IFS therapist Self-Therapy Volume 3.  Four types of perfectionist parts -- Not-enough perfectionist  Creative Block perfectionist  Control perfectionist  Inner Critic   Not-Enough perfectionist Always must do more on your projects -- not good enough yet.   Working right up to deadlines, perfecting.   Afraid to finish project because your perfectionistic parts believe this will expose your shortcomings and led to being judged  and ridiculed -- humiliation.   Creative Block Perfectionist Need to be perfect the first time  Ideas are not good enough  Fear of being judged and rejected.   Mike Litman:  You don't have to get it right.  You just have to get it going.  This podcast is an example.  Didn't know what I was doing.  Early episodes were very different.  Learning curve.  How many people listened?  Not many.   Control perfectionist World must be perfectly in control and in order.   I must always do the right thing.   I must always make the right choice   Rigid control over behavior Saps vitality  Obliterates sponteneity   Need predictability to feel safe   Inner Critic  Enforces the goals of being perfect Judges and shames about your work, your life, your spiritual practices  Labels you stupid, incompetent, sloppy, inadequate or bad.   Good intention:  to help you avoid being judged or shamed for mistakes.   Types of Inner Critic:  Jay Earley Personal-Growth-Programs.com  -- Transforming your Inner Critic.  Freedom from your Inner Critic.   Perfectionist This critic tries to get you to do things perfectly.  It sets high standards for the things your produce, and has difficulty saying something is complete and letting it go out to represent your best work.  It tries to make sure that you fit in and that you will not be judged or rejected.  Its expectations probably reflect those of people who have been important to you in the past.   Guilt-Tripper This critic is stuck in the past. It is unable to forgive you for wrongs you have done or people you have hurt.  It is concerned about relationships and holds you to standards of behavior prescribed by your community, culture and family  It tries to protect you from repeating past mistakes by making sure you never forget or feel free.   Underminer This critic tries to undermine your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you won't take risks.  It makes direct attacks on your self-worth so that you will stay small and not take chances where you could be hurt or rejected.  It is afraid of your being too big or too visible and not being able to tolerate judgment or failure.   Destroyer It makes pervasive attacks on your fundamental self worth.  It shames you and makes you feel inherently flawed and not entitled to basic understanding or respect.  This most debilitating critic, comes from early life deprivation or trauma.  It is motivated by a belief that it is safer not to exist.   Molder This critic tries to get you to fit into a certain mold based on standards held by society, your culture or your family.  It wants you to be liked and admired and to protect you from being abandoned, shamed or rejected.  The Molder fears that the Rebel or the Free Spirit in you would act in ways that are unacceptable. So it keeps you from being in touch with and expressing your true nature.   Taskmaster This critic wants you to work hard and be successful.  It fears that you may be mediocre or lazy and will be judged a failure if it does not push you to keep going.  Its pushing often activates a procrastinator or a rebel that fights against its harsh dictates.   Inner Controller This critic tries to control your impulses: eating, drinking, sexual activity, etc.  It is polarized with an Indulger –addict who it fears can get out of control at any moment.  It tends to be harsh and shaming in an effort to protect you from yourself.  It is motivated to try to make you a good person who is accepted and functions well in society.   Three Main Manager Roles Contribute to Perfectionism in Catholics.   Often in serious Catholics there is a triumvirate of managers who govern the system if there is not sufficient self-energy.   Triumvirate   trium virum, genitive plural of tres viri "three men," from tres "three" (see three) + viri, plural of vir "man"  a group of three men holding power, in particular ( the First Triumvirate ) the unofficial coalition of Julius Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus in 60 BC and ( the Second Triumvirate ) a coalition formed by Antony, Lepidus, and Octavian in 43 BC. Standard Bearer, Primary Manager and the Inner Critic.   Talking only about Catholics here, Catholics who take their faith seriously. I'm going to simplify this down.  Three roles.    Most people are mostly blended most of the time.   Rare for someone to be really recollected at a natural level And most of the time with reasonably well functioning people, the blend is with a manager.   Managers are the parts who run our systems in such a ways as to proactively minimize exiles being activated and breaking through Managers handle the day-to-day activities Some of these managers are very, very competent, very good at what they do.  Efficient, effective.  They work strategically, with forethought and planning to keep in control of situations and relationships to minimize the likelihood of you being hurt.  They work really hard to keep you safe. controlling, striving, planning, caretaking, judging,  Can be pessimistic, self-critical, very demanding.    Three major roles in perfectionism.  The standard bearer, the primary manager, and the internal critic.   Standard Bearer  Definition of a Standard for a military unit -- Wikipedia:  A bright, colorful flag acting as a strong visual beacon to the soldiers of the unit -- -- it doesn't always have to be a flag.  The standard for a Roman Legion was their aquila -- their eagle. The standard of the Roman Legion, the eagle had quasi-religious importance to the Roman soldier, far beyond being merely a symbol of his legion.  To lose a standard was extremely grave, and the Roman military went to great lengths both to protect a standard and to recover it if it were lost   Is the standard the deep and loving relationship with God?  Nope. Is the standard the close, intimate relationship with our Mother Mary?  Nyet.   What is the standard that the standard bearer carries aloft The standard is the unwritten list of rules and expectations that the standard bearer has come up with by his or her own limited vision, about what he or she things Gods wants from us.   The standard is the code of conduct that the standard bearer wishes to impose on all the parts The standard might be quite unreasonable, especially in the extreme cases of perfectionism and scrupulosity  And the standard needs to be interpreted -- other parts are not deemed capable of deciphering the standard.  Oh no.  Who needs to decipher and interpret the standard?  That's right, you've got it -- the standard bearer.  In the tripartite Freudian model of the mind, The standard bearer corresponds to the superego.   The standard bearer wants to act in the role of conscience, giving directives to the system.  Why?  To keep us safe and secure.  That's the goal.  Safe from internal enemies (such as exiles with their burdens -- especially shame -- the exiles with their burdens are Freud's Id) and external enemies.  Satan, demons, villains of all kinds  And also to keep us safe from God's Wrath.  Or God's Apathy.  Or God's disappointment.  Or Something Undesirable from God -- you like, like being smited with a thunderbolt.   Good Boy in my system  IIC 71 -- A New and Better Way of Understanding Myself and Others If blended.  That's key if he blends with me, takes over with other managers, he will lapse into this role of being a standard bearer.  Otherwise, he's not like that.   Primary Manager This is a part that is blended and in charge almost all the time in fairly "well-adjusted people."   When there seems to be a consistent single "personality" you are often seeing what I call the primary manager part.   This part can have a lot of self-energy, and only blend to certain degree.   This part can also believe that it is essentially the self, or that it needs to function in the role of the self  Primary manager parts either Doesn't trust the self  Or forget.  Lapse back into old patterns  Or get caught up when exiles are activated.   Collaborator in my system -- formerly the Competent One Inner Critic Evaluator in my system.  Formerly my Internal Critic.  My internal critic's attitude toward farms growing up in Wisconsin.   If I ever have a farm.   Now I have a farm.  Radical new views.  Never painted my barn.   How my parts work together on this podcast episode When I am blended and have taken over the self, I set the standards.  I speak for God. I am in the role of standard bearer.   When I am blended, I shielded Good Boy from the unreasonableness of his demands.  I goaded Collaborator, pressed him on to ever better performance.  I am the workhorse.  Executing.  Trying to make it all happen   I'm a firefighter.  I get angry and rebel against the triumvirate of managers -- YouTube time.   Other firefighter activity -- Chocolate, video games, masturbation, porn, food, shopping, chocolate.   Backlash exacerbates the polarization.     I work to protect us.   Where Does Perfectionism Come From Perfectionism is a symptom.  It's an effect of a deeper issue. Still a problem in itself.  Curran and Hall:  Our findings suggest that self-oriented perfectionism, socially prescribed perfectionism, and other-oriented perfectionism have increased over the last 27 years. We speculate that this may be because, generally, American, Canadian, and British cultures have become more individualistic, materialistic, and socially antagonistic over this period, with young people now facing more competitive environments, more unrealistic expectations, and more anxious and controlling parents than generations before.  Pete Walker  “Perfectionism is the unparalleled defense for emotionally abandoned children. The existential unattainability of perfection saves the child from giving up, unless or until, scant success forces him to retreat into the depression of a dissociative disorder, or launches him hyperactively into an incipient conduct disorder. Perfectionism also provides a sense of meaning and direction for the powerless and unsupported child. In the guise of self-control, striving to be perfect offers a simulacrum of a sense of control. Self-control is also safer to pursue because abandoning parents typically reserve their severest punishment for children who are vocal about their negligence.”  Jay Earley:  Self-Therapy Vol. 3 chapter on perfectionism.   Fear Need for approval Marie Forleo, Everything is Figureoutable “Perfectionism at its core isn't about high standards. It's about fear. Fear of failure. Fear of looking stupid, fear of making a mistake, fear of being judged, criticized, and ridiculed. It's the fear that one simple fact might be true:  You're just not good enough. Michael Law  “At its root, perfectionism isn't really about a deep love of being meticulous. It's about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.” Hiding -- driven by shame.  Genesis 3.  Chinonye J. Chidolue  “Perfection is a faux. It's a mask carved by our own poor esteem to hide who we really are and make others see what really isn't us.”  But what's behind those?  Let's go deeper Shame.  Deep sense of fundamental inadequacy.  Not being loved.  Not being lovable.  Essentially flawed.  Being bad.  Unworthy.   Episodes 37-49     When Does Perfectionism Get Activated?   Some are perfectionistic all the time Some are episodic. Some of the time.  Situation factors or internal factors activate Shame.   Fear Anger Shame is:  a primary emotion, a bodily reaction, a signal,  a judgement, and an action.   Why Does it Keep Going?  Self Images Shame -- that is the main driver of perfectionism.  I am unacceptable as I am right now.  I have to engage in a self-improvement program.   That's what he took away from experience.  Not just taught, but construed.   The potential to become good enough to earn the love -- provides hope for the future in the short run.   But hamster on a wheel.   Breeds rebellion, acting out.   Perfectionistic parts always get what they don't want.  Winding up alienated, isolated, alone Glennon Doyle Melton  "We can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved."  Ze Frank -- salty quote:  “Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he's a bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties.”  How Do We Overcome Perfectionism?  Standard Advice -- focused on symtpoms  Oregon Counseling Become more aware of your tendencies toward perfectionism  Focus on the Positives  Allow yourself to make mistakes  Set more reasonable goals  Learn how to receive Criticism  Lower the pressure you put on yourself  Focus on meaning over perfection  Try not to procrastinate  Cut out negative influences  Go to therapy.   Others Sharon Martin, LCSW in California Practice self-compassion  Adopt a growth mindset  Instead of focusing on outcomes, enjoy the process  Be true to yourself rather than trying to please everyone  Be more assertive with your own needs  Love your imperfect self.   Tanya Peterson Choosing Therapy.com Keep track of your thoughts  Practice mindfulness  Focus on your strengths  Stop comparing yourself to others  Find your own meaning and purpose  Rekindle your sense of pleasure and gratitude  Think about your life at age 100  Let yourself experiment.   These are almost all symptom based approaches.  Superficial.  Likely to not get to the root cause.  Sound good.  Hard to accomplish though because of the perfectionism and its roots.   Two major types of approaches  Treat perfectionism as an enemy to be ignored, dismissed, fought against, or overcome.  Byron Brown based on the Diamond Approach 1999 Souls without Shame.   Robert W. Firestone and colleagues in their Voice Therapy approach  Conquer your Inner Critical Voice  Rick Carson in his 1983 book Taming Your Gremlin   By far the approach most serious Catholic favor in dealing with perfectionism and scrupulosity Will power  Suppression  Domination over the undesireable internal experience.  Triumph of the will!  Victory.  Never works.  Not for long.  And when it seems to work, it's unstable, tenuous, shaky.   Revenge of the repressed.   But what if perfectionism and the parts around it have something important to say to you?   Treat perfectionism as an ally to be seen, heard, to be accepted, befriended, understood, and ultimately transformed.   Hal and Sidra Stone based on Voice Dialogue,  1993 Embracing your inner critic: turning self-criticism into a creative asset Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss based on Internal Family Systems therapy 2010 Self-therapy for your inner critic: transforming self-criticism into self-confidence Ann Weiser Cornell based on Inner Relationship Focusing in her 2005 book The Radical Acceptance of Everything Pat Allen also takes this approach in her 1995  book Art Is a Way of Knowing.[14]  These approaches see the inner critic as attempting to help or protect the person—but in a covert, distorted, or maladaptive way. This perspective makes it possible to connect with the critic and transform it over time into a helpful ally.  Earley's approach.    Getting to the root.  Shame IIC 37-49.   Engage with the parts burdened with shame.   Neural Networks -- one neural network Dan Siegel's interpersonal neurobiology.   Lee Health IFS is considered a brain-based psychotherapy designed specifically to access and modify neural networks through intentional interactions via a guided meditative processes.  These brain based interactions are the key to helping create different pathways often referred to as “rewiring” or “remapping”. IEADP Foundation These processes serve to engage the brain stem, limbic system and prefrontal cortex simultaneously in the safe and emotional tolerable setting of the therapist's office. This increase in the individual's ability to stay in the window of tolerance while being present with strong emotional states, body sensations and memories allows the client to engage the “witnessing mind” and increases the response flexibility to the strong emotional states that previously would elicit eating disorder behaviors Experiential Exercise What did you think -- let me know call or text 317.567.9594. Also, if you have found great resources that were helpful for your scrupulosity or perfectionism let me know.   Next episode Episode 86, will come out on November 1, All Saints Day Scrupulosity --  I have such a different take -- Scrupulosity is what happens with perfectionism gets religion.   One more element that we haven't discussed that is so central to scrupulosity, that make scrupulosity much more than a religious spiritual perfectionism.   My own battle with scrupulosity.   Grandpa Roberts:  God helps those who help themselves.   Today we laid a foundation for understanding perfectionism.  Next episode, we get much more into Solutions for scruplosity and perfectionism.   Remember, you as a listener can call me on my cell any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM.  I've set that time aside for you.  317.567.9594.  (repeat) or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com.  Resilient Catholics Community.  84 on the waiting list.  Greater discussion of that in the last episode, episode 84.  We have been working through the Individual Results Sheet for dozens of RCC members -- amazed at how our Initial Measures Kit can provoke all kinds of new thinking about their parts and their internal worlds.  Work with Catholic Standard Bearers, Primary Managers and Inner Critics Catholic therapists or therapists in training -- If you are really interested in Internal Family System and you want to be with me and other Catholic therapists, working on your human formation with your colleagues, The Interior Therapist Community is for you.  We have a couple more spots open in the last Foundations Experiential Group for the fall of 2021, so check out all our offerings at soulsandhearts.com/itc.          

They're back: GP catches up with Erica Chidi, CEO and cofounder of LOOM and cohost of The goop Podcast. They reflect on some big takeaways they've had in the past year at work and at home, how they're learning to pause and connect with themselves, the value of an orgasm, what they're listening to, and other things they're excited about right now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Richard Schwartz introduced IFS or Internal Family Systems many years ago. Since then, the process has been used to heal, strengthen, and align the minds of many people — including myself. I use IFS daily in meditation as well as in my coaching practice to help clients confront their fears and get out of their own way. When it comes to being productive, I've found that IFS works much, much better than forcing our way through resistance. And it's amazingly effective at helping us cut through the noise so we can connect to what some may call our essential or spiritual Self. Schwartz has a new book called, “No Bad Parts” and today we're going to explore the inner critic, our addiction to achievement, and getting out of our own way. https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2021/09/richard-schwartz-no-bad-parts You don't have to settle. Click here to learn the same mindset principles that Tripp Lanier uses with his coaching clients — including Navy SEALs, executives, and entrepreneurs. The Daily Toolkit is available for immediate download. https://thenewmanpodcast.com Most men will let fear get the best of them. This book is not for most men. This Book Will Make You Dangerous is a swift kick in the ass that will make you laugh out loud. It's a practical guide to play for what we truly want, to get over ourselves, and have a ton of fun along the way. This Book Will Make You Dangerous is now available at DangerousBookstore.com. http://dangerousbookstore.com

In this week's episode, I'm sharing the concept of Legacy Burdens.  For the full show notes, go here. https://anabellingleton.com/2021/09/24/ep-49-legacy-burdens/Ready to heal the effects of trauma on your brain and body? Click HERE to join the waitlist to work with me October 2021. To follow me on Instagram, go here. https://www.instagram.com/anabell.ingleton/To grab my Triggers & Glimmers freebie, go here. https://anabellingleton.com/freebiePre roll disclaimer Disclaimer

In this episode, we discuss narcissists in relation to addictions. We will use the Internal Family Systems approach to understand how addictions can serve as protective parts. We will also learn how addictions can distract and soothe away narcissists from suffering from their self-worthiness wounds.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why addictions are considered protective parts in Internal Family Systems - How the narcissist's interpretation of other people's actions and reactions lead to addictive behaviours - How a better understanding of narcissists' addictions can help us on our trauma recovery journey Self-worthiness wounds are created during childhood, and the interpretation of the world and other people's behaviour forms what is called an exile in Internal Family Systems. Addiction to drugs, porn, sex, or work can act as protective parts the brain uses to protect people from feeling that pain again. Between being distracted by an external stimulus or feeling miserable, the brain chooses what it considers less painful.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 6 helpful steps to follow when you're stressed out and frazzled Episode 2090: Six Helpful Steps to Follow When You're Stressed Out & Frazzled by Ingrid Y. Helander on Stress Management Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here: https://ingridyhelanderlmft.com/six-helpful-steps-to-follow-when-youre-stressed-out-frazzled/ For a better way to improve cognition, support your gut health, add more greens to your diet, or simply looking for a cleaner source of protein to fuel your workouts, go to Yourmemore.com/OLD and get 30% off Please Rate & Review the Show! Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com and in The O.L.D. Facebook Group Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts and join our online community: OLDPodcast.com/group Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalLivingDaily

Ingrid Y. Helander shares 6 helpful steps to follow when you're stressed out and frazzled Episode 2090: Six Helpful Steps to Follow When You're Stressed Out & Frazzled by Ingrid Y. Helander on Stress Management Ingrid began her career in Marriage and Family Therapy after she had her three children. After her youngest son was diagnosed with a chronic illness, she decided that she wanted to train to work alongside people as they work through life's difficulties. She has a Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Central Connecticut State University. Ingrid specializes in Internal Family Systems and and Intimacy from the Inside Out Couples Therapy. The original post is located here:   For a better way to improve cognition, support your gut health, add more greens to your diet, or simply looking for a cleaner source of protein to fuel your workouts, go to and get 30% off  and in    and join our online community: Interested in advertising on the show? Visit 

This episode of Dear Gabby BIG TALK is incredibly transformational! I sat down with Dr. Richard Schwartz, founder of Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS). This therapeutic practice has changed my life. IFS has helped me heal from trauma, brought me back to inner safety, and radically improved my relationships with others and myself. I'm so psyched for you to learn about it here! You'll learn: An introduction to IFS How to explore SELF in your own life The 3 types of parts we all have Why we are so reactive when we're triggered Why we sometimes turn to addictive behavior The intersection between IFS and spirituality What it means when we spiritually bypass And ... stick around to the end of the episode! We finish our conversation with Richard walking us through an amazing meditation. He guides all of our parts into an open space where healing can begin. It's so beautiful!   Press play now to hear our transformational conversation! RESOURCES:   The following are helpful resources and books I mention within the episode:  Listen to more Dear Gabby here: www.deargabby.com  About Richard Schwartz, PhD: https://ifs-institute.com/about-us/richard-c-schwartz-phd More about the IFS Institute: https://ifs-institute.com/ MIRACLE MEMBERSHIP Want even more support? I created the Miracle Membership to help you design a spiritual practice you can stick to—so you can feel connected, supported and inspired every day. Each month I deliver brand new workshops, guided meditations, live group meditations, community connection and so much more. Plus, it's easy to access on your phone, computer or tablet. Click here to join: https://bit.ly/2UTRcCt BOOKS No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz, PhD  https://amzn.to/2TH4mSC Greater than the Sum of Our Parts by Richard Schwartz, PhD https://amzn.to/36e28Ng Internal Family Systems Therapy by Richard Schwartz, PhD https://amzn.to/3qQ7uaQ MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES Safety, Recovery and Mental Health Resources: https://bit.ly/2UWRxEu Mental Health Resources and My Story of Recovery from Postpartum Anxiety and Depression  https://bit.ly/37aBe9i     PARNTERS  For listeners of the show, Calm is offering a special limited time promotion of 40% off a Calm Premium subscription at CALM.COM/deargabby   Show your skin you care with the Athena Club Razor Kit! Sign up today and you'll get 20% off your first order! Just go to AthenaClub.com and use promo code deargabby.   Experience your new favorite clean skincare line with a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order with promo code GABBY at OSEAmalibu.com.   Produced by Dear Media.