Podcasts about emdr

What if the symptoms you've been battling are your body's way of asking for a different story? We sit down with Shannon—a wife, mom of three, nurse turned functional medicine coach—to trace a path from postpartum autoimmunity and burnout to gut healing, sobriety, and a faith-fueled life that actually works. Her journey starts with a doctor who asked better questions and a decision to believe the process could work. From there, everything shifted: inflammation dropped, brain fog cleared, weight released, and joy came back online.We unpack why gut health is the master key—how removing inflammatory triggers, treating infections like H. pylori, and restoring minerals can resolve skin flares (including hidradenitis), balance hormones, and steady mood. Shannon shares how quitting alcohol was less about deprivation and more about reclaiming her nervous system, her marriage, and her spiritual clarity. Alcohol is a toxin and a microbiome disruptor; letting it go created space for genuine healing and a clear mind. AA, community, and surrender to God anchored the change and gave her a roadmap that holds during vacations, busy seasons, and life's mess.Trauma weaves through this conversation with honesty and care. We explore how the body keeps the score, why fear blocks healing, and how tools like EMDR and somatic work help release stuck patterns. Most of all, we keep it simple: belief plus action beats perfection. Start with hydration, protein, fiber, sleep, and one courageous step—remove the thing you know is hurting you. Our coaching sisterhood brings structure, testing, IV nutrient therapy, and weekly support so you're never alone. If you're tired of trying to out-supplement exhaustion, this story will show you a kinder, proven way back to energy, confidence, and faith.If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review to help more women find a path to real healing.If you're ready to move beyond trying harder and start living more aligned, you're invited to join Empowered by Faith — LIVE, a guided 5-day reset led by Dr. Tabatha that helps women reset body, mind, and spirit through simple, faith-centered rhythms.

In this episode of The Observatory Podcast, hosts Scott and LaRae Wright sit down with Bobby Ahlander for an expansive and deeply human conversation about suffering, healing, and what it means to truly come home to yourself. Bobby shares his journey growing up in a rigid religious environment marked by instability and fear, living much of his adult life on “autopilot,” and eventually reaching a breaking point that included leaving the Church, divorce, job loss, and a prolonged season of depression with suicidal ideation.Through therapy, psychiatry, EMDR, Buddhist study, and eventually plant medicine, Bobby describes the slow and nonlinear rebuilding of his inner world. He introduces a personal “numbers” framework that helped him track emotional states — from survival, to “fine,” to happiness, joy, bliss, and ultimately a state he later names cosmic union. At the heart of this conversation is the embodied realization that arrived not through force or fixing, but through surrender: peace feels good.Timestamps [01:10] Introducing Bobby Ahlander and the theme “peace feels good”[04:05] Childhood in a conservative religious home marked by instability[08:45] Learning invisibility, safety, and survival as a child[14:55] Living adulthood on “autopilot” and inherited identity scripts[20:15] Becoming a bishop and the weight of enforcing institutional rules[25:35] LGBTQ+ policy conflict and values colliding with authority[31:50] Leaving the Church, divorce, and relocation all at once[36:40] Wiping the slate clean and questioning every belief[41:05] First acts of autonomy and reclaiming personal choice[46:00] Discovering Buddhism and non-dual thinking[51:40] First psilocybin experience and expanded awareness[58:45] COVID, job loss, unhealthy relationship, and emotional collapse[01:05:40] Suicidal ideation and surviving for his children[01:12:30] Therapy, medication, and the “numbers” emotional scale[01:20:10] Ayahuasca: opening a door that never closes[01:27:30] Integration, healing, and learning to live at “fine”[01:33:40] Oregon coast turning point and happiness returning[01:38:10] Discovering joy, bliss, and something beyond the scale[01:41:00] Embodied peace, “peace feels good,” and what comes next[01:41:58] Closing message and listener invitationNotable Quotes“You have just opened a door that can never close again.” — Scott Webb (quoted by Bobby Ahlander) [00:36:08]“I don't want to die, but I don't want to be alive.” — Bobby Ahlander [00:31:58]“The whole choice to awake puts you on a path.” — Scott Wright [01:13:33]“So we honor you for being there and being able to express that.” — LaRae Wright [01:29:42]“The cost of the new is the old.” — Scott Wright [01:32:36]“Turbulence is just a reminder you're flying.” — Bobby Ahlander [01:34:42]“You will continue to suffer until you've learned the lesson that the suffering is trying to teach you.” — Bobby Ahlander [01:38:18]“This is peace.” — Bobby Ahlander [01:23:57]“Peace feels good.” — Bobby Ahlander [01:25:01]Relevant LinksBobby's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyahlander/Subscribe to the podcast: Apple Podcasts

How many Christian women think trauma healing happens and how it actually does happen are often not the same thing.  Today, Michelle shares how to look at healing so that you can be encouraged rather than feel defeated.  Listen in!   FREE RESOURCE: If this episode resonated, you might be interested in my free resource.   I created a free, faith-honoring guide that gently explains how healing happens in the body and why you're not failing.  Free Trauma Healing Resource Guide   WORK WITH MICHELLE CROYLE, LPC: If you are a Christian woman who feels ready for deeper, focused trauma healing than typical weekly talk therapy can offer, you may want to consider an EMDR-based Therapeutic Intensive with me.  I clear my schedule to work with you over the course of one to three days for three to six hours per day on a focus target of your choosing.  Intensives are designed to support meaningful change in the way the nervous system feels safest, not rushed into an hour here and there.  Ready for deeper healing?  If you live in Pennsylvania or are willing to travel to Pennsylvania for a therapy intensive, you can learn more or schedule a reserve a free consultation by clicking here: Learn More or Reserve a Free Consultation

Welcome to Real 7 the best of 2025 part 2. there is much more information and inspiration left in the second part of of the season. From tackling grief to addressing the seriousness of the eating disorder known as binging. Each episode moves you closer to the tools you need to achieve mental health for real. So, Relax and injoy the last best of till next year.Big Boys Don't Cry - Handling GriefA deeply honest exploration of grief, fear, and the universal reality of losing the people we love. This conversation with Becky McCoy doesn't shy away from the hard edges; instead, it opens space for tenderness, courage, and the slow work of healing. Becky brings her lived experience as a young widow, her training in spiritual formation, and her trauma informed approach to guide listeners through what it means to suffer, to question, and to keep going. …let's listen in.Producing Dopamine - A Healthy Alternative— a powerful and eye‑opening conversation with Andy Y. West, who takes us inside her journey from the depths of long COVID and cognitive decline to a full, vibrant recovery by learning to work with the brain's dopamine system instead of against it. Drawing from her books Planet Dopamine, Dopamine Mountain, and Anhedonia Wastelands, Andy breaks down how dopamine shapes our behavior, why harmful coping mechanisms can feel so compelling, and how intentional, science‑backed habits can retrain the brain toward healthier, sustainable sources of motivation and joy. Together, we explore the neurobiology behind drive, the biochemical loop of self‑harm, and practical tools for rewiring mindset, rebuilding momentum, and lifting ourselves out of depression and anxiety. It's an energizing, hopeful, and surprisingly fun deep dive into reclaiming our mental health in a world overloaded with negativity — and a reminder that unity, love, and intentional change can reshape everything …let's listen in.Hi, I'm God - Recovery and Thriving with SchizophreniaWe revisit a conversation with Dale Walsh, a man who has not only lived through schizophrenia but transformed that experience into a source of clarity, purpose, and service. Drawing from his rare “inside‑out” perspective, Dale guides families navigating the realities of serious mental illness, helping them bridge emotional distance and rediscover connection. His LIVELOVE method offers caregivers a way to communicate with compassion while reclaiming their own identity in the process. This segment honors the resilience, honesty, and humanity at the heart of mental health stories — and the power of lived experience to illuminate a path forward.Warrior Mom Rising- Story of Recovery from PTSD using EMDR is Next.We revisit a conversation with Jenn Robb—author, coach, and a mother forged in the fire of her daughter's anxiety, depression, and trauma. With two decades in acute care medicine and training in functional and integrative approaches, Jenn brings both clinical grounding and lived compassion to the families she serves. Her book Warrior Mom Rising chronicles the moments when she felt lost, overwhelmed, and unsure how to help, yet still kept fighting for connection, clarity, and hope.Just a Person - Living Authentically through ADHD, PTSD, using CMIWe revisit a...

Is trauma-informed counseling biblical—or is it undermining the sufficiency of Scripture?In this episode of Remnant Radio, we take a careful, biblical look at trauma-informed care, responding to recent critiques from pastors, biblical counselors, and theologians who argue that trauma-informed counseling is harming the church. Some claim that if Christians would simply repent, trust Jesus, and obey Scripture, trauma-informed approaches would be unnecessary—or even dangerous.So how should Christians think about trauma, trauma-informed counseling, and trauma-informed therapy?In Part One of this two-part discussion, we begin by defining trauma and trauma-informed care, ensuring we are speaking clearly and accurately. We then distinguish between trauma-informed pastoral counseling and trauma-informed therapy, including approaches such as EMDR, somatic experiencing, internal family systems, and polyvagal-informed therapy.We examine whether trauma-informed counseling is supported by Scripture by turning to the Book of Job, one of the Bible's most extensive treatments of suffering, trauma, and pastoral response. Job's condemnation of his friends as “miserable comforters” provides a sobering warning against theologically misinformed counsel that intensifies suffering rather than alleviating it.This episode also addresses key theological concerns, including:-The sufficiency of Scripture for salvation and sanctification-The doctrine of common grace and its relationship to medicine, psychology, and therapy-Whether trauma-informed care excuses sin or undermines repentance-How physiological trauma responses differ from sinful anxiety-Whether modern psychology should ever be subordinate to biblical authorityPart Two will move into practical application, offering a biblical framework for trauma-informed care that upholds Scripture, guards against theological compromise, and equips pastors, counselors, and Christians to care well for those who have suffered trauma. To be released next week!0:00 – Introduction0:10 – Public Critiques of Trauma-Informed Care1:53 – Defining Trauma3:16 – Defining Trauma-Informed Care4:29 – Is Trauma-Informed Counsel Biblical?7:39 – Three Ways Trauma-Informed Care Goes Wrong10:26 – Is Trauma-Informed Therapy Biblical?12:01 – The Sufficiency of Scripture15:20 – God Gives Common Grace19:41 – Common Grace and Obedience21:48 – ConclusionSubscribe to The Remnant Radio newsletter and receive our FREE introduction to spiritual gifts eBook. Plus, get access to: discounts, news about upcoming shows, courses and conferences - and more. Subscribe now at TheRemnantRadio.com.Support the showABOUT THE REMNANT RADIO:

In this clinically grounded episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh is joined by Kina Wolfenstein, LCSW, therapist, educator, and certified trainer in Coherence Therapy, for a deep dive into a lesser-known but incredibly powerful trauma modality.Together, they explore what coherence therapy is, how it differs from more familiar approaches like EMDR, CBT, and IFS, and why it can be especially effective for birth trauma, medical trauma, and complex attachment wounds.Kina explains how coherence therapy views symptoms not as pathology, but as coherent responses rooted in emotional learnings and how true healing happens through memory reconsolidation, an innate brain process that allows those learnings to be updated at the root.This episode speaks directly to survivors who say, “I understand why I feel this way, but nothing changes,” and to clinicians looking for more precise, bottom-up tools for trauma healing.In this episode, we discuss:✨ What coherence therapy is and why so few people have heard of it

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What if this life after divorce never gets better?What if this is just how it is now?What he ruined everything? What if I can't be healed?If those thoughts have been looping in your mind after divorce, this episode is for you.In the Season 5 premiere of Dear Divorce Diary, we're opening a powerful six-week series devoted to naming the thing under the thing—the deeper, often invisible forces that keep women stuck in anxiety, overthinking, and emotional exhaustion after divorce.And today, we begin with one of the scariest experiences of all:the fear that the way you feel right now is permanent.Here's what most of us have never realized:Those thoughts aren't coming from weakness or fear.They're coming from a nervous system trying its best to keep you afloat while you're completely collapsed.In this episode, we're not fixing anxiety—we're explaining it.Because understanding what your body is doing is often the first moment it finally exhales.In this episode, we explore:Why divorce anxiety often intensifies after the divorce is finalThe difference between panic… and the deeper fear of permanenceHow anxiety gets mistaken for identity—and why that mattersWhat happens when trust has been wounded by loss, betrayal, or overwhelmWhy solutions often arrive from places you never could have predictedHow protective, pessimistic parts can reject help—and how to soften that patternYou'll also hear personal stories from Dawn, Joy, and Tiffini about moments when they couldn't see a way forward—until something unexpected showed up and changed everything.And at the end of the episode, we debut a new community segment: ✨ Small Wins, Big Shifts ✨ where we share listener-submitted moments that prove healing after divorce doesn't have to be dramatic to be real.If you've been afraid that this feeling will never end… If you've wondered whether you'll ever trust yourself—or life—again… Let this episode remind you:Nothing you're feeling means you're broken. It means your system learned how to survive.And survival is not the end of the story.

Owen's salty sailor mouth is beginning to be a problem and I'm wondering if I should give EMDR another go. Daniel is anxious but he doesn't want to get into it. We take your calls and I recount the recent Peter saga. Plus our annual Elf Dinner! Plus we did a round of JMOE, HGFY and Podcast Pals Product Picks. Get yourself some new ARIYNBF merch here: https://alison-rosen-shop.fourthwall.com/ Subscribe to my Substack: http://alisonrosen.substack.com Podcast Palz Product Picks: https://www.amazon.com/shop/alisonrosen/list/2CS1QRYTRP6ER?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsflist_aipsfalisonrosen_0K0AJFYP84PF1Z61QW2H Products I Use/Recommend/Love: http://amazon.com/shop/alisonrosen Check us out on Patreon: http://patreon.com/alisonrosen   Buy Alison's Fifth Anniversary Edition Book (with new material): Tropical Attire Encouraged (and Other Phrases That Scare Me) https://amzn.to/2JuOqcd You probably need to buy the HGFY ringtone! https://www.alisonrosen.com/store/ Try Amazon Prime Free 30 Day Trial

Welcome back to Restoring the Soul! In this episode, Michael John Cusick and Julianne Cusick dive deep into the world of intensive counseling, unpacking what makes Restoring the Soul's approach unique and transformative. You'll hear about the practical structure of their intensives—meeting with individuals and couples in three-hour blocks over one or two weeks—and what sets this method apart from traditional weekly counseling. They explore the importance of stepping away from daily life to create space for profound healing, the individualized attention each client receives, and the holistic integration of soul care, psychological expertise, and contemplative spiritual practices.Throughout their candid conversation, Michael shares stories of how Restoring the Soul began, while Julianne offers reflections on the power of holding sacred space for clients' stories. If you've ever wondered what intensive counseling really means, or how a focused, custom-tailored process can spark breakthroughs in just two weeks, this episode will give you clarity and inspiration.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

In this episode, Dr. Debi shares why unhealed betrayal is the hidden barrier preventing your clients from achieving breakthrough results—and how the PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Certification equips coaches, healers, and practitioners to create deeper, more predictable transformations.  What You'll Learn:  Why time doesn't heal betrayal (and what actually does)  The shocking statistics: How unhealed betrayal impacts health, work, and relationships  Why your best coaching strategies fall short when betrayal is at the root  The research-backed framework that moves clients through the 5 predictable stages from betrayal to breakthrough  How PBT® certification complements (not replaces) your existing coaching tools  Simple diagnostic questions to identify unhealed betrayal in your clients  Key Statistics Revealed:  84% of those who've experienced betrayal struggle to trust (impacting team collaboration and leadership)  81% feel a loss of personal power (leading to self-sabotage)  68% can't focus or concentrate (reducing workplace productivity)  47% experience weight and digestive issues (that no diet can fix)  80% are hypervigilant (preventing intimate connections)  Who This Certification Is For:  Life, health, business, and leadership coaches  Relationship and mindset coaches  Healers, therapists, counselors, psychologists  HR leaders working with impacted employees  Practitioners using modalities like yoga, reiki, EMDR, or EFT  Benefits of PBT® Certification:  Specialize in a massive, underserved niche  Increase income (specialist vs. generalist positioning)  Gain 4 ICF CEUs  Join our certified coaches directory for client referrals  Access retreat opportunities, podcast features, and ongoing mentorship  Bring research-backed credibility to your practice  Current Enrollment Bonuses:  $500 discount with code GIFT500  Listing in the PBT® Certified Coaches Directory  First 10 enrollees: Guest feature on the top 1.5% ranked "From Betrayal to Breakthrough" podcast  PBT Pro Program Add-On Includes:  Featured spotlight in the directory  Podcast guest feature  Discounted retreat pass ($1,800 value)  PBT® Assessment Toolkit with 5 ready-to-use client assessments  Learn More: Visit thepbtinstitute.com/get-certified     Dr. Debi Silber is the Founder and CEO of The PBT Institute, a PhD researcher who discovered Post Betrayal Syndrome®, and creator of the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough™ framework. With 34+ years of experience, she's helped thousands transform their most painful experiences into unprecedented growth. 

Today's special guest features Mrs. Sandra Stanford Is a trauma specialist from Florida. As an LMFT, she obtained her masters in psychological counseling, and Sandra is certified in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). She is also an EMDR certified trainer or EMDRIA Basic Trainer and Consultant. She hosts trainings in both Florida, New York, and online. You can learn more here:https://centralfloridaemdrtraining.com/ To reach out to Sandra directly, you can contact her through her counseling website:https://sandrabstanfordcounseling.com/ Sandra interweaves biology and psychology to help us understand our nervous systems and how we can heal them FOR good! If you are interested in weekly videos on spiritual health, mental wellness, home workouts, and holistic nutrition- check out our memberships at:https://www.theselahspace.org/ To reach out to me directly, you can contact me at:https://www.movedbygracecounseling.com/ Have a happy new year my friends! See you next week on The Regulated Woman Series ♥️

What if the reason you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally drained isn't because life is “too much” … but because no one ever taught you the mental wellness skills that make life manageable—and peaceful?In this inspirational & motivational episode, Reginald D sits down with MJ Murray Vachon, a licensed clinical social worker, certified EMDR therapist, mental wellness educator, & host of Creating Midlife Calm Podcast. MJ has over 36 years of experience & 50,000+ clinical hours helping people heal.This powerful conversation blends faith and motivation, emotional resilience, practical mental wellness tools that can transform the way you think, feel & respond to life. MJ breaks down what mental wellness really means, why it matters more than ever in today's high-stress world & how your emotional state impacts not only you—but everyone around you.People are carrying silent stress, emotional overload, anxiety, trauma & unresolved pain—especially after the pandemic & the nonstop noise of social media. You may feel like you're trying to hold it together while life keeps throwing curveballs. This episode is for you if you want to feel more stable, more grounded, and more spiritually aligned without pretending everything is fine.Press play now to get the inspirational, motivational mental wellness tools that can help you find calm, strengthen your faith & start feeling emotionally stronger starting today. MJ's  info:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vachonmjmurrayFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/mj.murrayvachonWebsite: https://mjmurrayvachon.com Mental Wellness• Ep. 130: 1 Simple Coping Skill To Stop Stress & Anxiety From Spiraling Out Of Control & Derailing Midlife Calm -   https://pod.fo/e/2ae1c9• Ep. 131: 5 Simple Words That Will Transform Stress, Anxiety & Chaos Into Calm, To Make Better Midlife Decisions -  https://pod.fo/e/2af7fa• Ep. 1: What Is Mental Wellness -  https://pod.fo/e/35013e• One-Pager: What Is Mental Wellness -  https://tinyurl.com/mvrth7tvmotivational speech, faith and motivation, mental wellness, emotional health, emotional regulation, inspirational stories, motivational speeches, anxiety help, trauma healing, EMDR therapy, resilience, self improvement, healing journey, creating calm, coping skills, menSend us a textSupport the showFor daily motivation and inspiration, subscribe and follow Real Talk With Reginald D on social media:Instagram: realtalkwithreginaldd TikTok: @realtalkregd Youtube: @realtalkwithreginald Facebook: realtalkwithreginaldd Twitter Real Talk With Reginald D (@realtalkRegD) / TwitterWebsite: Real Talk With Reginald D https://www.realtalkwithreginaldd.com Real Talk With Reginald D - Merchandise

We read emails from listeners, including one about us being doxed again.Link to BOOKS — System SpeakNOTE:  We also talked in the community about how the year of the horse does not start until later in the winter due to following the lunar calendar.  For me/us, that coincides with my "new year" (birthday, actual, not when celebrated) as well as our "new year" from when we moved last time (which brought the celebration back to actual). That led to a greater discussion about other cultures that also follow the lunar calendar, including both indigenous and Jewish calendars (with a new year in the fall instead of winter).  We talked about how sometimes “jumping calendars” can be helpful when dealing with hard days or anniversaries.Article about Hebrew calendar: Hebrew calendar - WikipediaArticle about Indigenous calendar: Samish 13 MoonsOur website is HERE:  System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

In this first episode of 2026, Karen shares a raw, chronological wrap-up of the most powerful lessons 2025 taught her—through health, emotional healing, nervous system regulation, faith, Human Design, boundaries, and self-worth. This episode is a lived-experience transmission about what happens when you stop bypassing your emotions, stop playing small, and finally learn the difference between surrender and fear-based giving up. What you'll hear in this episode Why Karen records when the message is ready—not on a schedule—and how that's aligned with her Human Design How 2025 felt like “six lifetimes in one year”… and why the lessons finally integrated in November/December The surprising way a physical cleanse became a metaphor for an emotional cleanse What “as within, so without” looked like in real time (symptoms, signals, patterns, clues) How nervous system regulation revealed a truth she couldn't “mindset” her way around The core wound that linked everything: the invisible girl / making herself too small Why being “easygoing” was actually self-abandonment in disguise A deeper definition of surrender: trusting the outcome after you've expanded your self-worth capacity The difference between boundaries from authenticity vs boundaries from ego The line that changed everything: “Your personality is your personal reality.” Why Human Design helped her finally understand her energy sensitivity, timing resistance, and emotional permeability The “upper limit” problem: why you can get close to what you want… but can't hold it or repeat it The lesson of reciprocity: giving endlessly without receiving as a mirror (not a character flaw in others) The spiritual arc of the year: from being mad at God… to making peace, and trusting again The 2025 lessons Karen names (organized + titled) 1) The Cleanse That Turned Into a Life Cleanse What started as a liver/health cleanse became a full-body “truth cleanse”—revealing how much the body holds emotionally. 2) Your Body Keeps Score (Even If Your Mind Thinks You're Fine) She realized she had mastered “silver lining mindset”… but her nervous system and body were still carrying what she hadn't processed. 3) Nervous System Regulation Isn't a Vibe—It's a Before & After Somatic work, EMDR-inspired practices, energy work, reflexology, and body awareness showed her what regulation actually feels like. 4) The Bad Door: The Emotions You Avoid Hold the Keys Once the door opens, it's an avalanche—but also the beginning of freedom. 5) Surrender vs Fear-Based Exhaustion Surrender isn't “fine, I'll tolerate it.” It's alignment with an outcome you're truly expanded enough to hold. 6) Upper Limits: Why You Can't Keep What You Don't Believe Is Possible If you can't repeat the outcome, you haven't expanded enough to sustain it. The work is widening your capacity. 7) The Invisible Girl Pattern Making yourself small, “low maintenance,” endlessly accommodating… creates a reality where people don't see you—because you trained them not to. 8) Reciprocity and Self-Worth Giving without receiving wasn't kindness—it was a nervous-system safety strategy and a self-worth wound. 9) Boundaries Without the Chip on Your Shoulder Boundaries from authenticity are powerful. Boundaries from ego still keep you trapped. 10) Be For Something, Not Against Something Energy aimed at resentment and “showing them” blocks outcomes. Energy aimed at what you're building expands outcomes. 11) Human Design as a Practical Roadmap Understanding her sensitivity, timing, and energetic permeability helped her stop personalizing everything—and start protecting her system.   “I thought it was going to be the year of ease… and then I got waylaid with tests on tests on tests.” “It wasn't ‘ease' as in easy… it was ease as in I could finally move through the lessons and finish them.” “Your body will tell you what problems you actually have—emotionally and physically.” “Mindset change isn't enough. It's not behavior. It's energetic.” “If you can't repeat the outcome, you haven't expanded enough.” “I wasn't invisible because people were mean. I was invisible because I made myself microscopic.” “You can't be against something. You have to be for something.” “2025, you sucked… but you made me powerful in the happiest way.” If you're in a season of shedding, recalibrating, or learning how to stop abandoning yourself—please don't do it alone. I've got openings right now through The Experience Project for women who want grounded, practical support: readings, workshops, and ways to connect in community.  See what's available: EVENTS | kbaldridge       #Mindset #SelfCare #GrowthMindset #PersonalGrowth #SelfWorth #NervousSystemRegulation #HealingJourney #FaithJourney #WomenSupportingWomen

This is not a lesson about divorce healing.It's not advice.It's a pause.Day 12 of the 12 Days of Divorce Christmas is simply a blessing—offered to you exactly as you are.If these last 12 days stirred grief, relief, exhaustion, hope, or something you can't quite name, this episode is here to hold that with you.No fixing.No reframing.No pushing forward.Just a few quiet moments of being witnessed.You've been strong longer than you should have had to be.You've carried more than most people ever saw.And nothing about what you needed was wrong.As we step into a new year, this is our prayer for you:That you feel chosen.That you feel wanted.That your nervous system learns what safety feels like again.And that you remember—you were never meant to do this alone.Let yourself rest here. Sending all our love,Dawn, Joy & TiffiniFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnInstagram: (@dawnwiggins)Instagram: (@coachtiffini)On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.comA podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.Support the show✨Join the Cocoon Community - your people are waiting! ✨

In Part 2 of our conversation with Elicia Ybarra, she unpacks her path to healing through EMDR trauma therapy. She realized how buried triggers from years of grooming and abuse sabotaged her marriage and self-defense curriculum development, leading to a near-separation and inability to be touched even by her son. She broke down her "Pretty Hands, Hard Punches" empowerment model. We also discussed why stats show 975/1000 sexual assault perpetrators walk free, the red flags of abuse, multi-layered boundaries (emotional, time, social), and the "think, yell, run, fight, tell" progression with simple, realistic strikes like palm heels to the nose (tested by board-breaking!).Elicia shared red flags for parents: how to check for safe martial arts schools (check one-star reviews, watch instructor interactions, run background checks via Academy Safe, avoid MMA locker-room culture), how unquestioning obedience grooms kids to ignore gut instincts, and practical family rules like no adult secrets with children and always respecting "no" to hugs.Be sure to follow Elicia on her website, prettyhandshardpunches.com, or on Facebook or Instagram @prettyhandshardpunches.Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual assault statistics and low conviction rates, trauma triggers/panic attacks, strangulation, and stalking/harassment.Also…let it be known that:The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad.**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book hereCheck out our amazing sponsorsJoin A Little Bit Culty on PatreonGet poppin' fresh ALBC SwagSupport the pod and smash this linkCheck out our cult awareness and recovery resourcesWatch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, ScarredCREDITS:Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony AmesProduction Partner: Citizens of SoundCo-Creator: Jess TardyAudio production: Will RetherfordProduction Coordinator: Lesli DinsmoreWriter: Sandra NomotoSocial media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke KeaneTheme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel AsselinSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If you are tired of beating yourself up inside for trying harder and harder to make traction toward your emotional and mental freedom but feel like you are simply going in circles and feeling defeated, you may be asking yourself, "What is Wrong with Me?"  However, the problem isn't you!  The problem is that you are asking yourself the wrong question, and assuming that the problem is somehow you.  This leads to shame, frustration, and hamster wheel running that keeps you from making traction toward your healing.  To heal, you need to ask a different question, and I'll tell you what that is in this episode.  Listen in!   FREE RESOURCE: If this episode resonated, you might be interested in my free resource.   I created a free, faith-honoring guide that gently explains how healing happens in the body and why you're not failing.  Free Trauma Healing Resource Guide   WORK WITH MICHELLE CROYLE, LPC: If you are a Christian woman who feels ready for deeper, focused trauma healing than typical weekly talk therapy can offer, you may want to consider an EMDR-based Therapeutic Intensive with me.  I clear my schedule to work with you over the course of one to three days for three to six hours per day on a focus target of your choosing.  Intensives are designed to support meaningful change in the way the nervous system feels safest, not rushed into an hour here and there.  Ready for deeper healing?  If you live in Pennsylvania or are willing to travel to Pennsylvania for a therapy intensive, you can learn more or schedule a reserve a free consultation by clicking here: Learn More or Reserve a Free Consultation

Join Jay Gunkelman, QEEGD (the man who has analyzed over 500,000 brain scans), Dr. Mari Swingle, Joshua Moore, John Mekrut, Anthony Ramos, and host Pete Jansons for a packed discussion on cutting-edge trauma approaches, avoiding neurofeedback pitfalls, and how to pick qualified practitioners.✅ Deep Brain Reorienting Explained: A new somatic approach pioneered by Dr. Frank Corrigan targets brainstem-level early childhood attachment trauma via visual orientation and superior colliculus, going deeper than EMDR or exposure therapy—exciting experts like Sebern Fisher for developmental trauma recovery.✅ Neuroinflammation Deep Dive: Inflammation causes brain ischemia and hypoxia; overtraining inflamed brains risks headaches, nausea, tics, or even cell death—clinicians stress gentle starts, short sessions, monitoring symptoms, and addressing diet/nutrition first.✅ Choosing Pros Insights: Beware cheap equipment and unqualified practitioners; seek BCIA-certified or licensed pros with medical-grade gear—experience, mentorship, and clear "what & why" explanations matter more than pretty images.✅ Additional Topics:

“The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting. What to listen for: Maternal health is crucial for every human being The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting “Unhealed wounds don't disappear when you become a parent; they show up.” Parenting activates old patterns you didn't even know were still there Triggers often come from your past, not your child's behavior Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.” Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation. Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience A regulated parent creates a regulated environment About Anne Wallen Anne is a respected figure in women's health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide. https://www.maternitywise.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/ https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.91)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now. Anne Wallen (00:10.602)I’m good, how are you? Nick McGowan (00:25.614)So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Anne Wallen (00:34.382)Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the… An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17. and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is This is gonna be a fun one. Nick McGowan (02:29.229)Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child. Anne Wallen (02:50.412)Hmm. Nick McGowan (02:59.039)And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean? Anne Wallen (03:05.325)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (03:13.356)Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So. Nick McGowan (04:22.764)And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know? Anne Wallen (04:24.863)No! Anne Wallen (04:37.355)Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean, Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do. That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:43.52)could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach. And here we are, we’re like, you and my mom at a party or whatever. It’s like, but I, one of the big reason why I wanted to have you on is to be able to talk about how the psychology of that ties into not just people that have kids, but people that were kids. Cause even your emails back in the conversations, you were like, yeah, everybody was born. And then what we do from there and how that all ties into it. So why don’t, why don’t you kind of get us started off with like, not only what you see with, people that are having kids. but also the people that are concerned about having children and what that ties into just the rest of life. Anne Wallen (06:53.121)Well, kind of as we were talking about before we started recording, getting ready for having a baby, well, having a baby, you really need to put in the work, you need to prepare. And it’s not just about eating the right foods or avoiding the wrong foods and getting enough water and whatever else. There’s a lot of psychological preparation that people need to do. And we all walk around with our own traumas. We all walk around with our own disappointments and wounds. you’re gonna carry that into your parenting. And if there is one situation that you’re gonna find yourself in as kind of just this automatic robot, it’s as a parent. You don’t realize all these scripts and all this just unprepared, you know, in the moment reactions that you’re going to have to your own child until you’re there. And then you’re like, Nick McGowan (07:26.218)Hmm. Anne Wallen (07:52.961)I sound just like my mom or my dad used to say that and I still sometimes even you know I’m on kid number six at this point she’s nine and I still will say things you know two wrongs don’t make her right or whatever little sayings that you grow up with and I realize wow I got that from this scenario or I learned that during this moment when I got in trouble or whatever and it can it can really make a difference Nick McGowan (07:54.515)Ha ha. Anne Wallen (08:22.669)being aware and intentional with your parenting. And when I say aware, I just mean if you’ve got wounds or if you’ve got trauma or if your parents were abusive, if there was something else going on, you know, in those immediate, the first weeks, months of your life, it is really, really important to meet that baby’s needs immediately or as quickly as possible, right? So, There are things like crying it out. There are things like scheduled feeds. And they’re actually, we’re not just talking about a physical experience that this baby’s going through. It’s a psychological experience. And so we can get deeper into that if you want to, but a lot of people, they’ll hear from their parents when they become parents, they’ll hear things like, put the baby down, don’t spoil that baby. Or, they should be sleeping all night and they should be doing this or they should be doing that. You know, we let that baby cry it out. We gave you formula. You turned out fine. Whatever it is, right? Whatever this thing is that might be the response to whatever the parents are wanting to do. You know, the grandparents and well-meaning aunts and uncles, they’ll have some retort usually, right? And advice from your elders is always helpful. And having, just having elders around to… support your efforts is beautiful and helpful, but sometimes they don’t know what’s best for your baby. And the only person who really knows what’s best for the baby is the parent, especially the parent who’s bonded to the baby. Usually that’s the mom when they’re really, really small. And that’s usually because there’s breastfeeding going on or whatever it is, the main caretaking duties usually falls to the mother. So if that mother is well attuned to the baby, baby’s getting their needs met, this is teaching the baby that they can trust, right? It’s teaching the baby about relationships. It’s teaching the baby that I’m valuable. I am worth listening to. I am protected. I’m safe. All these different things, right? If you’ve got a baby who is routinely put down after, you fed for 15 minutes, now we put you down. You cry? Too bad, baby. We read the book that said, Anne Wallen (10:47.18)put you down, right? Or we heard from grandpa that said put you down, whatever it is. That baby crying so desperately, that’s their only way to communicate that they have a need. So if they’re crying so desperately, I’m still hungry, I’m cold, I just want to be held, I’m scared, I’m alone, whatever it is, I have gas pains, whatever it is, they’re trying to communicate that they have a need. And if we ignore that, if we say, no, I’m going to spoil the child if I pick them up again. This is programming their brain, right? This is programming their mind to say, no matter how hard I cry, I’m going to be ignored. What does that, for you, Nick, what does that translate to? What does that, what would that tell you? Nick McGowan (11:17.928)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (11:31.148)Trauma as a little kid, you’re just instantly, you’re shoved to the side it feels. And that’s, I think that’s an interesting thing to be able to point out, because look, babies are not gonna listen to this podcast. They will when they get older, but like they’re not listening right now. In fact, none of these episodes are for children at all, primarily because of my mouth at times, I’m sure. But the parents, or the new parents, or the people that are thinking about having kids. Anne Wallen (11:34.102)Yeah. Nick McGowan (11:58.088)or the people that feel like they have to have kids because the system tells them, their family system, you have to, which that’s another thing that ties into the psychology of it. Like if somebody says, you, hey, you have to have a kid because you have to keep our lineage going. You have to keep our last name going. You have to do this. You have to do that. okay. And then they go and have the kid and then put everything onto that kid or there’s already some pain that goes along with it. I think the big thing you pointed out that stood out to me and especially for the show, Anne Wallen (12:01.015)Mm. Anne Wallen (12:14.614)Hmm. Nick McGowan (12:27.61)is the work that has to be done before that. I’ve talked to different people that have had kids and they’re like, hey, we planned. We did all these things. We read all these books. We then got pregnant when we wanted to and shit was still crazy because they’re parents and like life and people and like things happen. And then there are people that just accidentally had a child and you know, it’s all, it doesn’t matter if you plan it or not plan it, it seems, but going into a big situation of having a child and Anne Wallen (12:30.572)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (12:57.552)sticking it through for at least 18 years or so, it doesn’t seem to me like a lot of people really think about the work they need to do until like after the fact. Like I met with somebody recently who’s got a young kid and he was offered to go on tour with some band and he was like, I can’t because I am attached and I can’t leave my child. And I can see that he’s such a good dad. But he had said to me, like, things changed as soon as I had the kid, as soon as the kid came into my life. And I hear that from a lot of different people. Like as soon as this happened, then I changed. I stopped smoking or I stopped doing this or I started doing more of whatever it was. And that’s great. But what about the deeper work that’s unseen? Like the trauma that comes from your parents or your parents’ parents or the things that happened that you were a kid that was just crying because you wanted to be held and your parents are like, I can’t. Shut up in there. How does that then tie into we as people that could potentially then have kids and not see that stuff needs to be worked on? Anne Wallen (13:54.688)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (14:05.161)Yeah, so having a baby is a great motivator for lifestyle changes, right? So if you are, if you have unhealthy habits, having your baby might make you think about your mortality and how, you need to eat better or stop smoking or whatever it is so that you can live longer so you can be there for your child. When you are going through pregnancy, even, you know, no matter what the family dynamic, mom, mom, mom, dad, whatever you’ve got going on. both partners, or even if you’ve got a single mom going on, the person who is in the relationship thinking about when this baby gets here, what are we gonna do? The kind of deeper work that they really need to be doing includes psychological preparation for just how they feel about themselves, number one, just simply because whether they feel worthy, whether they feel rejected by their parents, if there’s any kind of abandonment issues, Which abandonment issues start with, you know, crying it out in the crib? We, let me go, can I get a little sciency with you for just a second on that? So, crying it out, they’ve actually done brain scans and they see that crying it out creates a change in the brain structure. So our frontal lobe is the solutions, you know, forward thinking we call it, right? The creative, ambitious forebrain. The hindbrain is the survival primal, Nick McGowan (15:10.31)Please. Anne Wallen (15:30.955)aggressive, it’s the hunter-gatherer brain. And when you have a baby who is, who their needs are met consistently, their forebrain grows and their hindbrain does not grow. Not that it doesn’t grow, but it doesn’t, the balance is more forward-thinker, right? A baby who is left to cry it out, a baby whose needs are not met consistently. And that’s this, we’re not talking about a baby who has like just a crying spell and we put the baby down. for safety’s sake, you know, and we walk away so could take a breath and then we come back, you know, we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about a routinely left to cry baby. That hind brain actually grows and the forebrain can shrink. So now you’ve got a kid who’s got the more aggressive, primal survival skills, more violence prone, more prone to, you know, ADD and some other issues that are, you know, really all about them feeling that they need to survive, right? It’s just such primal, instinctual behavior. So now you have a kid who physically, chemically is growing up with this need to survive, this like fear, right? It’s like I’m on alert, I’m hypervigilant all the time. Now you make them a parent, right? They go through life and they probably have Nick McGowan (16:55.877)Hmph. Anne Wallen (16:58.187)plenty of issues, right, because of that hypervigilance, because of that, you know, fear that’s kind of like their root chakras in like a high alert mode all the time. So you get into this parenting situation, you’ve got a baby coming, right? You need to be able to say, I’m okay, I can advocate for my needs, I can prepare for the birth experience itself, because the birth experience could be traumatizing. And then, how am gonna care for this baby once it’s out, knowing that, or subconsciously, knowing that they were treated with a neglectful-ish, not that parents always are neglectful intentionally, but they don’t always know that the baby is just trying to communicate. And there’s a lot of, we’re not gonna go religion, but there’s a lot of religious. Nick McGowan (17:47.951)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (17:54.09)books out there on parenting that talk about babies, you know, being manipulators and things like that. You got to train them to be good, right? Which is ridiculous. anyway, that in itself is traumatizing just to just to read that if I was a, know. Yes. Yeah. Nick McGowan (18:09.252)Yeah, basically calling your baby a little demon. Don’t you do it little demon. It’s like, I just want some love. I don’t understand. Anne Wallen (18:17.267)Honestly, and there are books out there that have caused babies to become really, really, really sick and even pass away because they’re telling parents, like, you need to have this regimented feeding schedule and you shouldn’t be holding your baby, etc. And, you know, the abandonment issue is huge in our culture. If you go to other places in the world, you’re not going to see people with abandonment issues quite like you do in America. But in America, we have the Juvenile Manufacturing Association who really, really promoted getting babies out of your bed and using all these furniture pieces, right, for baby swings and cribs and, you know, bouncy seats and all these things that are not the mother, not the parent. And the only thing that a really a baby wants when they come out is that relationship. They are looking for a face when they come out. They’re looking for a face and if they don’t get a face to connect to, they’re three months behind in their developmental milestones on average. So the face, the connection with another human being is so important. It’s so important just to their brain development. It’s important to their psychological development. And it’s really important for the parents’ development too because when you create this bond, There’s something in you that softens. And even if you’ve had a ton of trauma, it’s like this little, I don’t know, it’s like this little knowing wakes up inside of you. And you just know, this instinct just shows up and kind of helps guide you in how to meet the baby’s needs in a way that’s healthy and appropriate for the baby. And a lot of times when you look at and you study mom-baby dyads, there’s this, unspoken language between them, right? It happens during sleep. Dr. James McKenna wrote a bunch of different studies over the last 20 to 30 years on watching moms and babies sleep. And when babies, know, vitals go too low, mom stirs and sometimes they even wake up and touch the baby and the baby perks back up again. It’s very SIDS preventive, you know? So like, Nick McGowan (20:41.197)Hmm. Anne Wallen (20:42.58)there’s these things that we have these superpower abilities to connect with other human beings and we don’t even realize it. And the thing that oftentimes gets in the way of that is trauma, other people’s well-meaning but bad advice. And how do we like get ready for all of that? So that’s where pregnancy, thank goodness we have nine months. to get ready for when the baby comes, right? We have nine months to work through our core hurts and figure out how did our parents’ parenting style affect us? And do we want to repeat that or do we want to have a different parenting style, right? And what is best for a baby? And a lot of times, you know, when you just read mainstream information, you know, there’s some real… Nick McGowan (21:10.945)Hahaha Anne Wallen (21:37.873)Sorry, Nick, I know you’re a man, but there are some masculine solutions or frameworks for very feminine processes and that’s not always the best way to go, right? And you can say your baby needs to eat every three hours. We wanna keep baby alive, right? So we’re gonna make sure baby eats every three hours. But what if baby’s hungry before that? You can’t make them wait. Hunger is one of those things that psychologically, if you are left to be hungry, Nick McGowan (21:48.419)Does it make sense? Anne Wallen (22:08.154)It actually causes so much stress on the body. Adrenaline goes up, cortisol goes up, like all these things, chemical reactions that really are trauma reactions. If you look at it that way, they happen in the body when you’re left to be hungry. So just something as simple as the baby needs to be fed can cause lifelong impairments, psychologically speaking. Nick McGowan (22:36.93)I think something to point out here for people that are listening to this, and if you’re about to have a kid, don’t let her scare you off the ledge. Like go do it because it seems like, look, no matter what happens, people are going to make the decisions they’re going to make. But I think the biggest thing you pointed out is the human aspect of it. That the mom or the parents just in general that are connected with their children can feel that, can be connected with their kids. Anne Wallen (22:39.22)Yeah. Anne Wallen (22:46.419)No! Anne Wallen (22:55.732)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:02.664)Yes. Nick McGowan (23:05.474)The fact that you pointed out like, well, capitalistic society was like, how do we make money off this? Well, we want to get the kid out of the bed. We can get them into a whole plethora of their own little suite over here and we can make a whole bunch of money and we might as well push this thing. There’s information that comes from the external world like that. Like, oh, well, baby shouldn’t be in your bed for longer than X amount of time. We should have a crib and like all people have that stuff basically when they have their shower at this point and they get it and they… Anne Wallen (23:17.962)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (23:35.381)have like three to $10,000 worth of stuff that just sitting in there for the baby, when the baby probably needs to be deeply connected with them, but every baby is different. And it’s wild to think about how those systems, the family system that tells us, well, when you were a kid, this is what we did. You made the decisions you made. And that’s to be said that way. But then the other systems that say, you need to have this, you need to have that, you need to have that. Anne Wallen (23:47.092)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:57.15)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (24:05.024)themselves to block all that madness out. Like, thanks for your feedback, grandma. Thanks for your feedback, Capitalistic Society. That person needs to be so deeply entwined with themselves and to understand about themselves. So based on the research you’ve done or the information that you’ve seen, how many people are actually doing that deeper work? Like, hey, I’m pregnant now. I wonder how fucked I was as a child based on the dumb things that happened. How do I not deliver that onto this child? Anne Wallen (24:10.814)Yeah. Nick McGowan (24:33.963)how many people are actually doing that work? Or is that part of the reason why we’re having the conversation? Because more people need to have that internal conversation. Anne Wallen (24:41.096)We really need our society, especially in America, to be doing that work more. Because a lot of people are just, like I was saying before, you’re kind of in this automatic robot mode. If you don’t do the work and you don’t have any kind of self-awareness, you’re just gonna do the things that you don’t even realize you learned to do. So like as an infant, even though you’re not sitting there taking notes on how your parents are parenting you, you’re learning how to be a parent by experiencing their parenting. And if you look around, we have a lot of entitled people walking around and a lot of broken people walking around who are really just living out their traumas and trauma reactions day to day, rather than looking at them, understanding that that’s what it is. You know, it took me till I was in my 40s to even understand what narcissistic abuse was, because it felt so familiar. Walking around the planet, being raised by someone who was narcissistically abusive. Now back then, 50 years ago, they didn’t have those words, right? But a lot of people have experienced that and they don’t know what it is. And they’re kind of, you know, either perpetuating it as the narcissist in their relationship or continuing to be used by the narcissist for their supply, right? And this is such a hot button, like, I don’t know, like a really popular terminology nowadays and everyone’s gonna, you know, everyone walks around kind of saying, I know a narcissist or that guy’s a narcissist or whatever, right? So it’s word that gets thrown around a lot. But the deeper issue is when you are not cared for, Nick McGowan (26:12.609)Hmm. Anne Wallen (26:36.859)in a way that shows you that you’re valuable, right? Then you grow up trying to prove to yourself how valuable you are, your whole life. And so that’s gonna put you into two camps. You’re either gonna be more like a narcissist, right? Trying to get source from people, trying to get that love and acceptance and to prove yourself worthy, right? Or you’re gonna become more of the enabler, more of the empath type. Nick McGowan (26:57.066)Yeah. Anne Wallen (27:05.925)Sometimes it’s just how we’re wired when we’re born, but a lot of it’s learned, right? And so you walk around trying to fix everybody else, trying to pre, what’s the word I’m looking for? Like you’re anticipating what they need, right? And you’re jumping in and taking care of everybody else. And neither one of those makes a good parent. So when you have a kid, you’re going to… Please don’t get me wrong, public, okay? Not all babies are coming out as narcissists, but all babies do come out needing someone to meet their needs. And so they look like little narcissists, right? Because they’re calling out, they’re crying, you you have to do everything for them. And as they’re growing, you’re trying to boost their self, right? And if you have additional kids around between age two and three, that’s a huge hit to the self-esteem of the toddler. You know, so then you’re trying to like fix that and soothe that and so there’s this whole chain of events that happens between zero and about seven, eight years old. And there’s ways to feed the little narcissist monster that you might be growing or there’s ways to help the child become self-sufficient and self… Nick McGowan (28:03.466)Yeah. Anne Wallen (28:31.529)self-aware, but also, you know, like help them to develop empathy and help them to develop compassion for others. But a lot of this is not by word. It’s in modeling. And again, we go back to if you haven’t dealt with your shit before you have your baby, it’s going to walk around showing your child how to not be a grownup, but they’re not going to know the difference. Nick McGowan (28:51.529)Yeah. Nick McGowan (28:58.527)And just keep going. Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:00.167)Right, and so even though trauma can be passed on from DNA, right, and it can be passed on cellularly, right, but it’s also passed on just by modeling. Modeling what that reactivity looks like, modeling what that unhealed wound looks like. So, go ahead. Nick McGowan (29:16.329)Yeah. Well, it’s interesting with how the, think about often how the body keeps the score. Bessel van der Kerk wrote about that and there are other people that say, I don’t agree with it and that’s fine. You can say whatever you want. I’ve experienced it. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be able to have bodily reactions at things when my mind’s going, the fuck are you doing? Like, what is this? And it’s like, that ties back literally to my mom as I was a little kid. Anne Wallen (29:24.349)Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:39.315)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (29:45.596)and watching and going, she seems to fly off the handle of things. Note to self, guess that’s how it’s done. Cool, that’s what I’m gonna do. And then you learn later and you’re like, no, that’s not it. she was coming from generational trauma and chaos and wondering how do I pay for this thing? And what the fuck are you crying about? And what’s this? And sometimes that would come out of her mouth. Like, the fuck are you crying about? To go, I don’t know. And maybe she’s just overwhelmed. So even pointing out that people will look. Anne Wallen (29:51.922)Right? Anne Wallen (29:58.568)Hmm. Anne Wallen (30:09.831)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (30:11.727)and say like, yeah, a lot of people are calling people narcissists at this point because it’s like they learned a new word and they go, well, this looks similar. I’m glad that you’re pointing out that it’s actually deeper and not exactly the same thing at all, but sure, there are tendencies to it. Like the babies need us. Aren’t we like the only organisms that really do that though? Like all other mammals basically are like, cool, you’re born, go get it, have at it. And we need people. Anne Wallen (30:26.728)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (30:38.844)Yeah. Nick McGowan (30:41.606)And those people also need the babies because of that connection. It’s wild to think about how things that’ll happen just on a day to day that a parent might think, I was just a little upset or a little cold or whatever, that could change so much with that child. And especially in the formative years. I learned a handful of years ago about a theory called the subconscious winning strategy. that we develop a strategy as a child to go, oh, note to self, this is how I win. This is how I get love. Like my core wounding personally is to not be abandoned or unloved. That comes from being a child. So I figured out, oh, I can make people laugh and I can do these different things that then show up in a certain way. And I learned that about myself, I don’t know, at 38 years old and was like, oh my God, my entire life I’ve been doing this because it just deeply ingrained in us. Anne Wallen (31:15.784)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (31:36.914)Hmm. Nick McGowan (31:39.891)You pointed out self-awareness. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve noticed in every single episode I’ve had on this show, every conversation I’ve had that’s peripheral to the show. If you’re aware of something, you can only then become more aware of it as you’re more aware of it. But you can also push things to the side. I’ve watched parents go, I can’t. I’ve had friends that are parents that they’re like, man, some nights I just fucking can’t even. Anything. Like everybody needs to leave me alone and I just need to stare at the ceiling for a little while. or they dive into some vice, alcohol or something else. So what advice do you have for people that are trying to figure out, I either have a kid and I need to and want to be a better parent, or we’re thinking about having kids, or I’m still kind of reeling from being a kid, and how do they then work through their stuff? Anne Wallen (32:33.106)So I think you could, you know. Anne Wallen (32:39.752)I’m hearing some interference. Are we still together? Nick McGowan (32:42.974)We’re good. Anne Wallen (32:45.128)Okay, this could go off on so many, you’re like the tree trunk just now and there’s so many branches and things that we could just go into off of that. I think one of the things that you have to understand is that narcissism, for example, is a spectrum, right? And so, one end is kind of it’s a healthy self-awareness, self-love, self-protecting, self-serving, right? The other end is where you’re using people in a malignant way. Now, a newborn, I always make jokes with my students, like the newborns don’t read the books, right? They don’t know what the parents think that they’re supposed to be doing. But when they are little and they’re trying to communicate, right? We can, if we’re cold, for example, we can go and manipulate the thermostat, right, to make it whatever we want. If we’re hungry, we go and manipulate the refrigerator door and get a snack. Babies can’t do those things, so they’re not manipulators, right? But what they are is desperately trying to communicate with us, and we have to put aside, and you see many a mom who’s had sleepless nights, dads too, Nick McGowan (33:41.842)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (34:04.029)where they’re just doing whatever it is that the baby seems to be needing and it might just be an overnight, know, shit fast story. You’re just, nobody’s getting sleep, everybody’s crying, like everybody’s crying. And you just have to get through it, right? But the fact that you are trying, the fact that you haven’t just put the baby away and said, I can’t do this anymore, you know, good luck kid, right? The fact that they’re not doing that, Nick McGowan (34:30.332)You Anne Wallen (34:33.224)the baby and informs the baby, I am worth trying for. And so even if they aren’t fixing it, I can see they’re trying. Right? Now, do you need to step away? Do you need to be able to eat, you know, shower, take a crap by yourself? Yeah, of course. Right? And you need to be able to take care of yourself in order to take care of somebody else. And you need to be able to set boundaries and say, you know, Nick McGowan (34:37.445)Hmm. Anne Wallen (35:02.464)I am, and we talked a little bit about personality types before, but I’m an introvert, right? And when you’re looking at the Myers-Briggs, introverts need time alone, away from everybody, away from touch, away from sound in order to rebuild their battery. Extroverts, they need other people to recharge their battery. And so if you’ve got babies who are almost all extroverts in that Nick McGowan (35:15.846)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (35:30.638)stage of their life. They need somebody else for something at all times usually. And you’ve got an introvert parent who’s like, I am all tapped out. I’m in the negative. Like kid, I can’t help you right now. I cannot do anything right now. I need to go, you know, just take a bath or something in silence. Everyone leave me alone. Knowing that about yourself and knowing that this whole scenario is going to change. Because before baby came, You probably had self-care mechanisms or habits or whatever in place that you can say like, okay, I am drained. I went to that party. I’ve been at work all day. I need to just have like an evening of quiet. Well, when you have a baby, there’s no such thing. So being able to plan ahead for stuff like that, knowing yourself, being self-aware enough to say, I know what my needs are in a general way, putting a person into this know, sphere of my everyday life, what do I need to do to keep myself sane while still caring for the needs of this other human being? And being able to build some kind of structure around that. It could be, do I need to live closer to my parents so my parents can help me? Does it mean I need to hire a postpartum doula or a nanny or somebody that’s gonna be able to help take care of the child so that I can take care of me? You know, just, and that’s not selfish. That’s not being a bad parent saying, well, I can’t always meet the baby’s needs 100 % of the time. Who can? Like we have this really unrealistic expectation, this leave it to be for mom mindset, right? Where it’s like, she’s just gonna do everything. She somehow wakes up with makeup on, with her clothes pressed and you know, like she never spent any time on that, right? Well, that’s kind of what we’re expected to do as parents is we’re expected to just be up and ready for the world and ready to take care of this baby 100 % without having any kind of prep or any kind of get ready time? No, that’s not how it really works. But then you have that expectation which makes people then feel like they’re failing. And that’s not fair either. That’s where if you look at postpartum depression, it has gone up and gone up and gone up and it’s in its highest Anne Wallen (37:57.818)in places where, or in family dynamics where nobody’s getting sleep, you know, there’s sleep deprivation going on and there’s no social support. And those are the two key factors. And a third key factor is babies who cry a lot. And babies don’t just cry a lot. So if you know how to meet your baby’s needs, you can understand your baby’s language, if you can anticipate their needs and just kind of, you know, Nick McGowan (38:04.699)Hmm. Anne Wallen (38:27.781)Be prepared as we just keep, I keep saying preparation, preparation, right? But being prepared and understanding what does this cry sound mean? Does it mean hungry? Does it mean pain? Does it mean sleepy, right? What do these cry sounds mean? And then being able to appropriately respond to the baby’s needs and making sure that the baby’s needs are met quickly. These all feed into a satisfied, healthy, happy baby, which, creates calm, satisfied, happy, healthy family, right? And then if you are dealing with trauma triggers where maybe the baby crying is a trauma trigger for you, right? And you haven’t figured out what this baby’s need is, you’re gonna be spiraling and that spiral’s gonna, you’re gonna have anxiety, you’re have the depression, you might even develop other issues. And let me just say one really quick little piece. Nick McGowan (39:08.922)Yeah. Anne Wallen (39:26.823)The news a lot of times says, you know, when a mom kills her babies, right? The news will a lot of times say, oh, she had postpartum depression. That’s not postpartum depression, that’s postpartum psychosis. So postpartum depression and anxiety and OCD and all these other different kinds of mental health disorders, they can turn into psychosis. But psychosis is when you have suspended the connection to reality in such a way that you would do that heinous act, right? And why does it get to that point? Because we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re not supporting our families, not, you know, we’re not like creating this wrap around care for families. And dads need it too, you know, like we think, mom’s got postpartum depression. Dads get postpartum depression too. Nick McGowan (40:09.091)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:22.797)sleep deprivation will do it to anybody. You don’t even have to have a baby. You sleep deprived somebody for long enough and they’re gonna experience depression and anxiety. And so being aware, preparing for having that help afterward, understanding what is it that your personal wounding might look like and how might that affect the way you’re gonna care for your baby. So for example, you mentioned abandonment. A lot of people have… Nick McGowan (40:30.456)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:49.807)abandonment issues because of the whole put your baby to cry it out in the bed philosophy that was taught for a long time. It’s not taught anymore, shouldn’t be taught anymore, we know better now. But there’s a lot of adults walking around that that was the way they did it and they’re gonna hear from their mom and dad and everyone, you know, that’s how you should do it. So it feels really unnatural for a reason. Nick McGowan (40:54.585)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (41:09.026)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (41:14.435)It’s that little instinct, that little knowing that awakens in us when we have a baby that tells us, no, that’s not okay. My baby needs me, my baby. That sound is really grating on me. Why? Because it’s meant for us to do something about it. And so being able to look at, there’s a tool that I sometimes will use, it’s called the self-redemption cycle. Nick McGowan (41:27.543)Yeah. Anne Wallen (41:39.705)And you’re really, it’s like this little circle, right? It informs who you are. It informs yourself about who you are. But it takes the core hurt. Have you ever heard of this? So it takes the core hurt and then it looks at what emotions are drawn from that core hurt. And then it says, what are you seeking? What do those emotions tell you about what you’re seeking? And then what kind of behaviors are you gonna do to meet the thing or find the thing that you’re seeking? And then a lot of times those are unhealthy behaviors too. Nick McGowan (41:57.016)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:08.398)So then you create a new core hurt for yourself, only to do it all over again. And so it’s important for us to really be aware of what are the triggers, right? What are the things that make us feel abandoned or unloved or whatever our thing is, right? And then be able to work through those things because first of all, going into a birth situation, Nick McGowan (42:08.546)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:36.91)You have to advocate for yourself. You have to be able to speak for yourself. You have to be informed enough because we live in a profit driven medical society and you cannot, it’s not that you can’t trust doctors as individuals, but you can’t trust the system to have your back. The system is not built to your wellness. The system is to profit and wellness doesn’t bring profit. And so, Nick McGowan (42:55.81)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (43:06.616)You have, you know, a whole system that I don’t want to say is like designed against you, but you have to be wise going into that. If you’re going to have your baby in a hospital, which not everybody’s having babies in hospitals, I’ve had three at home myself, but if you are going to go into a hospital, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into. You have to know how to handle it. And it’s not the time to be defending yourself or standing up for yourself. you have to feel so safe to be vulnerable, to be able to open your body to let your baby out. And if you don’t, your labor will be dysfunctional. And that psychological piece, which is, I was saying before, like 80 to 85 % of your whole birth experience, it’s not physical. Physically, we breathe, we digest our food, we use the bathroom. We don’t need anybody to coach us how to do those things. We don’t need to read books on how to do those things. Our bodies know how to do it. And it’s the same way with birth. Our bodies know how to give birth. But there’s safety mechanisms built into the process, survival mechanisms. And one of those survival mechanisms is, is it safe out there? Is it safe for the baby who’s super, super vulnerable? Like you said, you know, we’re the only species that’s like, our baby comes out and they are completely and utterly dependent upon us for everything. Nick McGowan (44:30.444)Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:32.068)And so if our subconscious says, it’s not safe for that little vulnerable person to come out, it will shut down labor. And you can give it all the drugs you want. You can give it all the pitocin you want. It’s not gonna receive it. Your brain’s gonna shut down those pitocin receptors and say, nope, it’s not safe out there. She doesn’t like the doctor. Or the lights are too bright. Or yeah, or whatever the reason that’s triggering her. Nick McGowan (44:51.03)Politics. Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:58.884)you know, making her feel unsafe. And it could just be there’s a male doctor and she doesn’t feel comfortable around males in that way, right? And so it could be all kinds of things. As a doula and as a doula trainer, I have seen thousands of different scenarios where, you know, she might love her doctor and feel super safe with her doctor, but she gets to the hospital and guess what? It’s the person on call and she’s never even met them. Right, and now we have a hurdle to get over. And does she feel strong enough and confident in her ability enough to not let that affect her? Or is she, or does she not feel that way? Right, and in the moment, you’re just trying to hang on for dear life. You’re just having labor. You’re just trying to get through it, right? And so all these other psychological factors are really tough to have to. Nick McGowan (45:50.678)Peace. Anne Wallen (45:54.488)navigate, that’s why you’ve got to prepare ahead of time and really have somebody there, whether it’s your partner who’s very well versed and really, you know, knows what you want and is willing to stand up for you, or a doula, or you’re home with your midwife, you know, whatever your scenario, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but it’s also not for someone who is just kinda coming at it willy nilly like, yeah, I got pregnant, yeah, I’m gonna have a baby, and yeah, we’re gonna do this thing called parenting. I mean, you can do it that way, but you’re gonna be on autopilot the whole time. Your reactions to things are not gonna be intentional and worked through the way that they should be for the betterment of your baby, right? Nick McGowan (46:32.246)Hmm. Nick McGowan (46:41.731)yeah. Anne Wallen (46:44.803)The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start, right? Nick McGowan (46:50.324)Yeah, what a good way to put that. And especially all of this ties in to so many different pieces, but it’s all similar. Like you go into some big situation, you have to be prepared, but you also need to understand about yourself. And there are people I’m sure that try their best to be as prepared as they can be. Again, I’ve had a few friends that are like, I’ve read every fucking book I could. I talked to everybody I could. Anne Wallen (46:58.522)Mm. Anne Wallen (47:14.777)Yeah. Nick McGowan (47:16.278)And I still expect to screw this kid up in some sort of way, because I’m going to say something weird or whatever. it’s like totally, like you’re just going to do what you’re going to do and your kid’s going to go how they’re going to go. But that’s the sort of like anti-matter in the middle of it. That’s like, well, all that stuff is just going to happen. But as long as you’re best prepared, you’re going to do what you can. Those people that are kind of wandering around that are like, well, we had a baby and like, I still don’t know my stuff or what’s going on. That. Anne Wallen (47:36.558)Yeah! Nick McGowan (47:45.714)level of self-awareness takes many, many, many blocks to get through to be able to get to that point. So the whole purpose of this show is to be able to help people on their path towards self-mastery and really figuring themselves out and living the best life that they can. So for the people that are on that path towards self-mastery, wanting to have a kid or have a kid or are still kind of reeling through the stuff that they’ve been through as a kid, how… What’s your advice for somebody that’s on their path towards self mastery that’s kind of going throughout all that? Anne Wallen (48:19.747)So the number one thing that you can do is to just nurture yourself, right? Nurturing and making it okay to get things wrong. Having self-forgiveness, having self-grace. Because as you go through these blocks, I could tell you just from my own personal experience that going through different, you know, looking at what has happened to me and saying, okay, this event, and I’m gonna sit with how this event makes me feel. until I can take away the power from it. And some people use counseling for that, some people use EMDR. I found EMDR super helpful. I think too, know, alongside having self-grace and having self-forgiveness, being with other people who are healthy psychologically is really important. If you are in a situation or a relationship that is kind of keeping you in I don’t want to say in abuse because maybe the relationship isn’t abusive, but maybe in a situation where you are constantly triggered or you are continually kind of repeating bad habits, right? And you’re recognizing that, but then you’re in this situation where they’re just triggering you and triggering you and triggering you. You got to get away from it to be able to heal it. It’s so tough. to be able to heal something while you’re in the midst of reaction. And honestly, you know, we talked about the word narcissism and the word trauma and things like that. One of the most powerful ways that I feel like people can heal from stuff and actually keep digging into their past and finding the next thing, right? Like, okay, well, I healed from this and now what? What’s the next thing? Nick McGowan (50:17.15)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (50:17.325)You’re subconscious, two things. One, I really believe that your subconscious will always answer you. And before you even finish the sentence, right, you know the answer. That’s your intuition, you can trust it. Right, so being able to say, what’s the thing that is really holding me back right now? You know it, your subconscious just told you what it was, right? And then going through that, working on that, focusing on that. The other thing is, is that for people, A really powerful tool for us to get understanding about something is labeling. So when you are, let’s say narcissism, when you are looking at narcissism, you can say, hey, here’s a behavior. This makes me feel uncomfortable. What is this? Why does this make me feel uncomfortable? it’s gaslighting. I’ve got a word for that. Nick McGowan (50:52.861)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (51:08.148)hehe Anne Wallen (51:09.977)Right? I’ve got a word for the bandwagoning technique. I’ve got a word for flying monkeys. I’ve got a word for all these different things. Right? And so being able to look at your shit and having a label for the different things that you’re experiencing, having a label for the different reactions that you might be having. Number one, it helps you to understand it. It helps you have a little more power over those things rather than it having power over you. But then also, you know, we can Google it. If you have a word that you’re like, my goodness, you know, this thing is really just triggering me. Why does it trigger me? Okay, comes, I can see that it’s stemming back from this thing that happened to me. And like I said, just ask yourself the questions. Just keep asking yourself the questions. And when your subconscious tells you this is what it was, then you can look it up, right? One of the reasons why I learned about narcissism is because I was Googling, why doesn’t my husband like me? How sad is that that you got to ask that question? But I soon found out that it’s one of the list of things in the narcissistic playbook. And so then you start to realize, this behavior happened at this point in my life and at that point in my life and at that point in my life. And because you have a label for it, you can start to identify the root cause. And that’s where you can kind of start taking your power back. Nick McGowan (52:35.719)Yeah. Anne Wallen (52:38.456)and you can rework the programming that’s going on in your head. And so then you’re no longer a robot, just on autopilot. You can have a moment, you could take a moment to pause and say, I’m not gonna respond like that anymore. I’m gonna, I look, I see it for what it is now. And I’m not gonna let that do this thing to me. And I’m not gonna let that do that thing to my child, because I’m not gonna respond the same way anymore. Nick McGowan (52:54.547)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (53:08.132)And I’ll tell you what, every kid, I really believe this, every child is born to bring the balance. So like if you have, and I apologize for all the noise in the background, I am in New York City. I don’t know if you hear the sirens. They’re about to come right in front of my building, I could tell. All right, they’re gone. Okay, so. Nick McGowan (53:08.231)Yeah. Nick McGowan (53:30.483)Alright. Anne Wallen (53:35.074)give them a second. So when you have, you know, these, this labeling and when you have this balance that the child is bringing into the family, you know, you, you might say, that kid’s a, that’s a wild child or whatever. A wild child compared to what? Maybe you have very placid parents, right? And then the child’s just bringing the balance. They bring in the party. Or you have parents who are, you know, maybe really Nick McGowan (53:35.155)They’re good. Nick McGowan (54:00.989)you Anne Wallen (54:05.061)just super extroverted and then you get this little introverted child because they’re bringing the balance or you have two kids, right? I’ve had my two boys, they’re kind of like in the early middle of the six of them and I had one that was like large muscle. You tell him to dig a hole, he’s gonna be like, how deep and how big and tell me where to go and I’m on it, right? And then you got the next kid. who was very small motor skills, very artistic, you know, just like super minute focus, right? And you tell him to dig a hole and he’d be like, I don’t know how to dig a hole, right? So like they’re opposites, but this is what happens in family structures. It’s like the kid comes in and they fill the gap of what’s missing. This can get tricky if you have stuff that you haven’t worked on in the past, because guess what? Nick McGowan (54:48.443)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (55:02.852)Kids also bring the triggers. So for example, my nine-year-old, love her to pieces, she’s really different from me. It’s a challenge sometimes to be her parent because I don’t know what to do with her half the time because she’s just so different from me. And so that in itself is a little bit of a trigger. And so as a parent, when you are trying to learn, because a lot of times we think, oh, we’re here to Nick McGowan (55:18.096)Hmm. Nick McGowan (55:24.272)Yeah. Anne Wallen (55:32.696)you know, mold and shape this person. But I want to challenge that perception. I think we’re really here to figure out who this person is and help them to be the best of whoever it is that they’re supposed to be. And we’re not really supposed to be directing that all that much at all. Right. And so that also can be really tricky if you don’t know who you are. Right. If you’re if your stuff Nick McGowan (55:57.893)Yeah. Anne Wallen (56:01.496)goes into identifying as, I worthy? Should I speak up? Do I have to fight for stuff? All the different things that go on as a child inside of you, your child, it’s gonna be mirrored back to you. And if you haven’t figured those things out, if you didn’t figure them out as a child, how are you gonna have answers for your kid when they’re going through the same thing? So. getting into and really just there’s actually a book for if you’re pregnant now or if you’re looking at getting pregnant, there’s a book called birthing from within. It’s kind of a whole system. I really like it because it kind of digs into the psychological aspect of, you know, this labyrinth of how were you created mentally, emotionally, and then how are you going to walk or step into parenthood, you know, as a person who can be there for your kid in all these different ways that you’re gonna have, it’s gonna be demanded upon you whether or not you have the skills to meet the needs or not, right? Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:05.967)Yeah, whether you like it or not. man, there’s so much to that. And again, I’m not going to have kids ever. I’m no longer equipped to. And I can think about how these things relate to us as people without kids because we were kids at one point and this ties back. Even the two kids that you have that you talked about, you literally just described my brother and myself. And my dad was like, Anne Wallen (57:25.112)Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:34.359)I understand the one who can dig the holes. I don’t understand why you’re building things and you’re painting. What the hell is this about? I’m gonna stick with the one over here because that makes sense and parents can go to that. They can look at that and they can do those things. But I really appreciate that you’re challenging people to understand the most about themselves and where their things have come from so that they don’t really bring them into anything further unless they go, hey, I learned this before cause I went through some shit. Anne Wallen (57:56.334)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (58:03.077)Here’s how you go about it a little differently, but you do you kid and I’m here to support you. I think that’s a crucial thing that you really pointed out and I appreciate you pointing that out. This has been awesome to have you on today and I appreciate you being with us. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:08.109)Yeah. Nick McGowan (58:27.194)Did I totally cut out there? Awesome. So I’d asked where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:36.484)Well, I am like I said the director of maternity wise you can find me there. That’s easy maternity wise calm just like that And you can also find me. I’m a contributor to brains magazine So I have several articles published there and if you want to find me on LinkedIn, I’m Anne Wallen. So hey Nick McGowan (58:58.896)Again, Ann, it’s been great having you on today. I appreciate your time. Anne Wallen (59:01.988)Thank you.

If New Year's resolutions have never worked for you...especially after divorce, it's not because you lack discipline, motivation, or follow-through.It's because the version of you who survived divorce is not wired to safely become the woman you're trying to create.After divorce, most women try to change their lives by changing their behavior.But behavior never sticks when the nervous system doesn't feel safe expanding.In this New Year's Day episode, we break down why resolutions fail specifically after divorce—and what actually creates change instead.We talk about:Why “New Year, New You” language backfires on a nervous system shaped by lossHow inherited roles, survival strategies, and emotional suppression block capacityThe real reason desire alone isn't enough to create changeWhy your brain will offer a thousand excuses—and why that doesn't mean you're failingWhat permission has to do with confidence, worthiness, and follow-throughYou'll be guided through a powerful journaling exercise we call the New Year Permission Slip—not focused on what you want, but on who you're willing to become to receive it.Because the woman who calls in a fuller life after divorce:has more capacityfeels safer being seentrusts herself more deeplyand no longer abandons herself to stay comfortableAnd she doesn't arrive by accident.

Send us a textThe most downloaded conversation of the year returns for a reason: it's the raw, practical guide first responders and their families keep asking for. We sit with Sgt. Michael Sugrue—Air Force security forces veteran, Walnut Creek Police sergeant, and author of Relentless Courage—to talk about the weight of hundreds of traumatic calls, how a 2012 shooting upended his life, and the exact steps that pulled him back from the edge.Michael breaks down why suicide remains the top threat for police, fire, EMS, and dispatch: a culture that prizes invincibility, training that skips mental readiness, and an identity so fused to the job that retirement can feel like free fall. He explains how “silent” suicides hide in line‑of‑duty risks, why official counts underreport the crisis, and what leadership must do to turn the tide. We go deep on solutions: culturally competent therapy, confidential peer lines, retreats like West Coast Post‑Trauma Retreat and Save A Warrior, and daily practices—meditation, gratitude, strength work, honest conversations—that sustain real resilience.We also challenge common myths. Therapy doesn't take your gun; it gives you your life back. EMDR helps many but not all; the real power is a personalized toolkit. Early intervention keeps stress acute and treatable; waiting turns injuries into entrenched patterns that cost careers and families. Michael's book, co‑authored with Dr. Shauna Springer, bridges the gap between gut‑level storytelling and clear psychology, giving responders and loved ones a shared language to start hard conversations and map a path forward.If you serve—or love someone who does—this is a roadmap to stay in the fight without losing yourself. Hit play, share it with a partner or teammate, and let's normalize help as a standard of care. If the episode resonates, subscribe, leave a quick review, and pass it to one person who needs to hear it today.You can reach Michael on LinkedIn at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sgtmichaelsugrue?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_appSupport the showYouTube Channel For The Podcast

Is SEO still worth your time as a therapist in a world dominated by AI and constant algorithm changes? In this replay of one of our most downloaded episodes of the year, I sit down with SEO expert Chris Morin from Moonraker to break down what actually moves the needle when it comes to getting your private practice website to rank on Google. We talk honestly about whether Google is still relevant, how AI fits into modern SEO (without turning your website into generic fluff), and why content creation is still one of the most powerful and accessible marketing strategies for therapists today. In this conversation, Chris shares a refreshingly practical approach to SEO that feels doable even if you're juggling a full caseload. We dive into how people are really searching for therapy, the biggest mistakes therapists make with service pages, and how to structure your site so Google actually understands what you do, who you help, and where you're located. If SEO has ever felt overwhelming, confusing, or like a total black hole of effort, this episode will help you see a clear path forward and remind you that you don't need to do everything to see results. Topics Covered in This Episode: 3:58 - Why Google rankings are far from "dead" (even with ChatGPT in the mix) 7:14 - The single SEO strategy that delivers the biggest ROI for therapists 9:32 - How clients actually search for therapy (and why "individual therapy" might be hurting you) 12:48 - The surprising power of modality-based pages like EMDR, CBT, and IFS 15:41 - How to use AI strategically without publishing generic, low-value content 21:44 - The hidden SEO mistake almost everyone makes inside their blog posts 24:03 - What backlinks really do and how many you actually need 29:10 - The trust signal Google cares about most (and how to build it ethically) If you're ready to stop guessing and start building a marketing strategy that actually supports your practice growth, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in, take notes, and then choose one thing you can implement this month. And if this conversation clicks for you, join us in the Practice Accelerator and get started for $100 off using our special promo code for podcast listeners, ALLIN!   Resources Mentioned: Needing more private pay clients in the New Year and wanting to dive in deeper on SEO? Join the Practice Accelerator here to get started with our podcast listeners getting $100 off using the code ALLIN! https://www.theentrepreneurialtherapist.com/practice-accelerator-sales-page  Find out more about Alma here: helloalma.com/danielle Take 50% off your first 4 months of Simple Practice + a 7 day free trial using the link: simplepractice.com/danielle

It's New Year's Eve, and if you're feeling anything other than excited, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.This isn't your typical "new year, new you" pep talk. It's for the trauma survivors who are exhausted by the pressure to transform, who feel like they're failing because they didn't have some massive breakthrough this year, or who are just relieved the dumpster fire of 2025 is over.In this episode, I talk about why New Year's can be so hard when you're healing from complex trauma, why your nervous system doesn't care about artificial timelines, and what actually supports healing (spoiler: it's not punishing yourself into productivity).I also get real about my own year, what I'm hoping for in 2026, and the moment I realized I've been so busy overfunctioning that I don't even have hobbies.Plus, a sneak peek at what's coming in 2026: narcissism in families, religious trauma, emotional neglect, dissociation, and betrayal trauma.Whatever you're feeling tonight, it's allowed. You're allowed to be exactly where you are.Happy New Year....Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

New Year's Eve has a way of turning self-criticism up to full volume after divorce.The comparisons.The sense that you should be further along.The quiet question of what's wrong with me that this still hurts?If you find yourself being unusually hard on yourself today, this episode isn't here to tell you to “think positive” or try harder.It's here to explain why this happens—and what your nervous system is actually doing when self-doubt takes over.In this episode, we talk about:Why divorce retrains your nervous system to scan for failure instead of progressWhy pride and self-validation feel uncomfortable or even unsafe for so many womenHow New Year's Eve amplifies comparison, loneliness, and internal pressureA simple practice to help your system start noticing what is workingThis is not about forcing confidence or pretending you're okay.It's about understanding why self-criticism shows up when safety feels fragile—and how to interrupt the spiral without shaming yourself for being in it.

Ever catch yourself thinking, “Why does this feel so weird without a drink?” You're not alone. In this episode, Coach Cole walks with Sally through the swirl of social pressure at kids' sporting events and helps her spot the doors that open when the “alcohol door” closes. Coach Soraya sits with Ava, who's noticing a growing gap between her knowledge and her actions. Together they explore sensitivity, fear, and the habits that keep us looping. We also name the common pain point—why quitting alcohol makes you feel alone—and show you how to replace isolation with honest connection. These Alcohol Freedom Coaching conversations are a sneak peek at life inside The Path. In Sally's Session: Feeling "stuck and lost" when navigating an alcohol-free life Challenged by feeling "different and stuck, separated from people" in social situations The pervasiveness of alcohol in healthy activities. Reframing being lost as an opportunity for self-discovery How curiosity acts as an antidote to shame about past drinking Using core personal values as guideposts when the path is unknown And more In Ava's Session: When insight doesn't equal action—what's actually missing Sensitivity as a superpower (not a liability) Habit loops vs. cravings: noticing “action → reaction” patterns Creating safety so change feels possible Trying tiny experiments that respect your nervous system Gentle supports: IFS, EMDR, and compassionate self-talk And more… Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. For years, he felt lost and used alcohol as a way to cope, until he decided to go alcohol-free and focus on finding his purpose. Through curiosity, self-compassion, and adventure, he transformed his life. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps young men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/ Soraya Odishoo is a compassionate Certified This Naked Mind Coach who blends somatic healing with therapeutic models to support recovery. She serves people who feel disconnected from their true selves and want freedom from substances or behaviors that no longer serve them. She takes a trauma-informed, heart-centered approach with a strong focus on accessibility for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities. Learn more about Coach Soraya: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/soraya-arjan-odishoo-alpc/ Episode links: nakedmindpath.com Related Episodes: Why do I feel detached when I'm not drinking?-Reader Question- E122- https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/ Finding Yourself Without Alcohol-Nisha's Naked Life-E836- https://thisnakedmind.com/how-do-you-socialize-without-alcohol-nishas-naked-life-e836/ Who Am I Without Wine?-Alcohol Freedom Coaching-E801- https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/ Ready to take the next step on your journey? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, & more. Until next week, stay curious!

Does your teen wake up in the middle of the night overwhelmed with worries they can't shut off? Have you noticed that everything feels so much bigger for teens at 2:00 AM than it does in the light of day? There's been a surge in what experts are calling the “2 AM Spiral”—a late-night loop of overthinking fueled by screen time, academic pressure, social stress, and the natural sleep-cycle shift that happens during adolescence. In this episode, Colleen talks with therapist Kevin Logie about what's really happening in teens' brains during these late-night spirals, why sleep deprivation intensifies anxiety, depression, and irritability, and how parents can respond with more curiosity and less control. You'll learn why this isn't “teen drama,” how phones and lack of downtime play a major role, and practical, compassionate strategies to help teens regulate, reset, and sleep better—without turning bedtime into a nightly battle. Kevin Logie is an associate therapist who brings creativity, warmth, and flexibility to his work with children, tweens, teens, and families. With a background in the arts and improv, Kevin blends narrative and person-centered therapy with evidence-based tools such as CBT, EMDR, ABA, and mindfulness practices. He specializes in helping clients rewrite unhealthy narratives, build emotional awareness, and develop resilience. Kevin is also a dad to a 12-year-old son, bringing both professional insight and lived experience into his work.

In this Day 8 episode of 12 Days of Divorce Christmas, Coach Tiffini joins me to unpack what actually happens inside your nervous system when you try to bring old traditions into a new life after divorce...especially in this in-between week between the holidays and the New Year.Through an IFS (Internal Family Systems) lens, we talk about the protective parts that step in when traditions carry grief, memory, and expectation. Not because you're doing it wrong—but because your system may not feel safe enough yet to repeat what once belonged to a different life.This isn't about mindset. It's not about trying harder. And it's not about forcing yourself to “make it meaningful.”It's about understanding why recreating traditions after divorce can backfire—and how to stop fighting the resistance long enough to listen to what your body is actually asking for.If the holidays after divorce feel emotionally confusing, muted, or harder than you expected—especially as New Year approaches—this episode will help you make sense of that without judging yourself or rushing the process.Your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do.Join Dear Divorce Diary Premium to access the full 12 Days of Divorce Christmas.Capacity builds in connection. Hugs ❤️Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnInstagram: (@dawnwiggins)Instagram: (@coachtiffini)On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.comA podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.Support the show✨Join the Cocoon Community - your people are waiting! ✨

How ya doing babe? We're on day 7 of "The 12 Days of Becoming HER Again" and it's all pretty raw.Today we're talking about loneliness after divorce...not as something to fix or outrun, but as something that moves in waves.For many women, loneliness doesn't stay constant. It rises. It crests. And when it hits, it can feel overwhelming.In this episode, Joy and I talk about:Why loneliness after divorce often comes in wavesHow many women try to drown it out instead of ride itThe difference between feeling lonely and being unsafeWhat actually helps when the wave risesWhy resisting loneliness often makes it strongerHow to stay present without collapsing into itThis conversation is about learning how to ride the loneliness wave — letting it move through you without letting it take you under.You don't have to force yourself to feel better. You don't have to make it mean something about your worth. You just need a way to stay with yourself when it shows up.If loneliness has been hitting hard this holiday season, this episode is for you.

Internalized negative self-talk trapping ND lives? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, host April unpacks Complex PTSD/ADHD mental health with Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero, NYC/FL psychotherapist (25+ years social work/child welfare/intergenerational trauma/CPTSD expert). Using EMDR/IFS/Polyvagal/somatic therapies, Karen undoes limiting beliefs for authenticity/goals; life coaching for non-NY/FL via TikTok, plus parent support for emotional regulation. Key insights: Negative self-talk: Childhood messages (e.g., "lazy" from ADHD struggles) internalized—higher CPTSD risk in ND (adverse experiences like unmet needs). CPTSD vs. PTSD: Relational/micro-traumas (e.g., single-parent absences/narcissistic abuse) vs. single events (war/accidents); leads to anxiety/depression/avoidance. Polyvagal theory: Bottom-up body focus (window of tolerance/fight-flight-freeze/dorsal shutdown); regulate via sensations (e.g., neutral feet vs. chest tension)—ADHD/autism concrete (EMDR eye movement/tappers). EMDR for ND: Bilateral stimulation desensitizes trauma memories; evolving for autism/ADHD (virtual/no light bar); process emotions concretely ("what happened next?"). Rewriting stories: Narrative/motivational interviewing challenges origins ("is it true? strengths? passions?"); experiment authenticity (small steps like "hi" to vendor). Attachment styles: Healthy (communication/vulnerability); avoidant (infidelity/avoid intimacy); anxious (constant doubt/people-pleasing); disorganized (both)—ND rejection sensitivity amplifies. Addictions/substances: Beyond alcohol/drugs (food/shopping/exercise/secrets); red flags (hiding behaviors); regulate dopamine healthily (breaks/routines). Advocacy/relationships: Therapy fit crucial (ask trainings/referrals); healthy dating (experiment/vulnerability); parents model regulation to minimize messages. For autistic/ADHD young adults navigating independence/trauma, Karen's vibe: "You're not broken—rewrite for worth." Free resources at kdtesoriero.lcsw.net; email coffeewithkaren@gmail.com. Subscribe for ND trauma hacks! Rate/review on Podbean/Apple/Spotify. Linktree: (socials/shop/Podbean). Holiday merch sale: 30% off tees/hoodies with code BLACK25 at adultingwithautism.shop—rewrite your style fierce! #CPTSDADHDND #NegativeSelfTalkAutism #PolyvagalNervousSystemNeurodivergent #EMDRTraumaRecoveryADHD #AttachmentStylesYoungAdults #RewritingStoriesNeurodiverse #AdultingWithAutism #HealthyBoundariesAutistic #PodMatch #Podcasts #BTSNeurodivergent #BTSArmy   Episode: CPTSD & ADHD in ND with Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero [00:00] Intro: ND Negative Self-Talk Trap [00:30] Karen's Expertise: 25+ Years CPTSD/ADHD Trauma Work [02:00] Negative Messages: Childhood Internalization (ADHD/Autism Struggles) [05:00] CPTSD vs. PTSD: Relational/Micro-Traumas (Adverse Experiences) [08:00] Polyvagal Theory: Bottom-Up Regulation (Window of Tolerance/Freeze) [11:00] EMDR for ND: Bilateral Stimulation/Desensitization (Concrete Processing) [14:00] Rewriting Stories: Narrative Interviewing (Challenge Origins/Strengths) [17:00] Attachment Styles: Healthy vs. Avoidant/Anxious/Disorganized (ND Rejection) [20:00] Addictions/Substances: Beyond Drugs (Food/Shopping/Secrets/Red Flags) [23:00] Healthy Relationships/Dating: Experiment/Vulnerability/Communication [26:00] Outro: Authenticity Takeaways & CTAs Resources: Website: kdtesoriero.lcsw.net (therapy/life coaching) Email: coffeewithkaren@gmail.com TikTok: (life coaching outreach) Linktree:  (socials/shop/Podbean) Subscribe on Podbean/YouTube for ND mental health tips! Share your rewrite win in comments. #NDCPTSD #AutismNegativeTalk #ADHDPolyvagal #EMDRNeurodivergent #AttachmentYoungAdults #AdultingWithAutism

Today's convo is about a specific kind of holiday pain after divorce... the Christmas cards knowing exactly how to **send you.The smiling families.The matching outfits.The quiet comparison that starts to creep in and makes you feel like you no longer belong to the world you used to be part of.In this episode, Joy and I talk about:Why Christmas cards trigger comparison so deeply after divorceHow performance culture keeps women disconnected from themselvesThe grief of rebuilding your life in truth while others appear “settled”Why comparison pulls you off your own healing pathWhat it means to shift from me vs. them to me vs. meWhy becoming yourself can feel lonelier before it feels betterWe also offer a simple, creative practice for working with the cards themselves...not from bitterness, but from transformation (well maybe a little from bitterness) as a way to reclaim your power and your perspective.This episode isn't about pretending the comparison doesn't hurt. It's about choosing not to let it delay your becoming.If the Christmas cards have been making you feel like an outsider this season, come hang with us!Join Dear Divorce Diary Premium to access the full 12 Days of Divorce Christmas.Or stay with us here today — and come back tomorrow.Capacity builds in connection. Hugs ❤️Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnInstagram: (@dawnwiggins)Instagram: (@coachtiffini)On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.comA podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.Support the show✨Join the Cocoon Community - your people are waiting! ✨

From the absurd (snakes through sunroofs) to the profound (the fear of being unlovable), we're diving into the vivid world of adult anxiety. This episode categorizes our fears into three distinct lanes: practical risks that need a plan, anxiety loops that need a nervous-system reset, and tender wounds that require compassion and community.We explore why "white-knuckling" through phobias doesn't work and how tools like EMDR and exposure therapy can rewire your brain. Whether you need a checklist, a deep breath, or a witness to your story, this framework helps you balance grit with gentleness. Tune in to learn how to turn your "what-ifs" into actionable, brave steps.

Wendy B. Correa is a former music industry insider, radio DJ and now author with the release of her new book: My Pretty Baby  (She Writes Press, Nov. 2025). Approximately 64% of adults in the U.S. have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE) before age 18, and nearly 1 in 6 people (17.3%) report experiencing 4 or more, according to the CDC. Wendy is on a mission to destigmatize and educate about ACEs and their effect on mental health through her new book. Meet former music industry insider, radio DJ and now author Wendy Correa. In My Pretty Baby, Wendy writes about her own riveting journey with ACE, including her time in celebrity circles, spiritual practices and a lifetime of healing from childhood trauma. The book is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and an urgent reminder that healing requires honesty, community and hope. Correa writes about being traumatized as young woman escaping a violent home, moving to California to discover herself, and along the way finds a career in the music industry, dates celebrities – Guns N' Roses' Slash would sit on the edge of her desk and flirt with her, hangs with music legend Joni Mitchell, meets Beatle's drummer Ringo Starr at her first AA meeting, and becomes journalist/author Hunter S. Thompson's assistant - only to uncover a devastating family secret decades later. In this episode we discuss: CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS & SELF-WORTH: How Ringo Starr, Joni Mitchell, and Hunter S. Thompson shaped Wendy's journey of self-discoveryRECLAIMING LIFE AFTER TRAUMA: Her 40+ year healing journey using Buddhism, Native American practices, 12-Step programs, EMDR therapy, plant medicine and moreFAMILY ESTRANGEMENT & FORGIVENESS: How uncovering a long-hidden truth brought the closure she had always sought and discovering, finding and getting to know her half-sister.A CULTURAL CALL TO ACTION: Why our society must do more to address ACEs and support trauma recoveryBATTLE WITH ADDICTION: her journey abusing alcohol, nicotine and cocaine, and the turning point to become soberAbout the book: After escaping a turbulent home life, Correa's path of self-discovery encompasses Buddhism, yoga, meditation, plant medicine, Native American sweat lodges and vision quest, 12-Step programs, and psychotherapy. Along the way, she had extraordinary experiences: singing “Give Peace a Chance” on the Rose Bowl stage with rock 'n' roll royalty, working at A&M and Geffen Records, and spending time rock legends (mentioned above). Her life changes when she moves to Aspen and becomes a radio DJ and assistant to legendary writer Hunter S. Thompson. There, she meets her future husband and begins to build the family she had longed for her whole life. Despite her newfound peace, she is repeatedly drawn back into her family of origin's dysfunction. It is only after her mother's death that Wendy uncovers a painful family secret that finally answers her lifelong question: What really happened to my family?NYT bestselling author Sharon Salzberg says of Wendy's book: “In her deeply personal and candid memoir, My Pretty Baby, Correa's vivid storytelling penetrates the depths of her suffering with honesty and compassion, reminding readers that it is never too late to heal our traumas to live a life based in loving awareness."Wendy is also a yogi, hiker as well as a licensed massage therapist. Wendy holds bachelor's degrees in psychology and theater arts and has contributed articles to Mothering magazine. A wife and mother, she resides in Denver, Colorado. For more info: www.wendybcorrea.comhttps://www.instagram.com/wendybcorrea/https://www.threads.com/@wendybcorreahttps://substack.com/@wendycorrea

If you're here today, it means your kids aren't with you...and that absence lands in the body, not just the heart.This episode is for the moms navigating holidays, weekends, or long stretches without their children after divorce. The quiet. The ache. The way your nervous system doesn't know where to settle when the people you're bonded to aren't home.Joy shares from lived experience what it's like to be deeply, trauma-bonded to your children — through pregnancy, birth, illness, caregiving, and survival — and then suddenly have to function without them physically present.In this conversation, we talk about:Why missing your kids after divorce can feel physically destabilizingHow maternal bonding and trauma bonding affect the nervous systemThe urge to stay busy, numb out, or dissociate — and why that makes senseWhat actually helped during the hardest hours (movement, EFT tapping, nature, structure)Why “doing nothing” can feel unbearable — and what to do insteadA simple candle ritual to honor the bond when your kids aren't with youHow to stay connected without collapsing or abandoning yourselfThis episode is not about fixing the grief or rushing you through it. It's about staying present with the truth that their bodies may be absent — but their love is not.If you're missing your kids today, you don't have to disappear to survive it. You're allowed to grieve and stay with yourself.

The family talks about our experience in the PNW flood.Our website is HERE:  System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE.  Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine.  We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes.  Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

If slowing down makes you feel more anxious instead of calm, this episode explains why.  You'll learn how trauma trains the nervous system to equate safety with staying busy, in control, or on guard - and why true safety isn't something you need to seek after, but something your body experiences. In this episode, we explore how to orient your nervous system to the present moment, why rest can feel unsafe after trauma, and how a felt sense of safety allows real healing to begin.  This gentle, faith-integrated conversation helps you understand why your body struggles to relax -- and what it actually needs instead.   FREE RESOURCE: If this episode resonated, you might be interested in my free resource.   I created a free, faith-honoring guide that gently explains how healing happens in the body and why you're not failing.  Free Trauma Healing Resource Guide   WORK WITH MICHELLE CROYLE, LPC: If you are a Christian woman who feels ready for deeper, focused trauma healing than typical weekly talk therapy can offer, you may want to consider an EMDR-based Therapeutic Intensive with me.  I clear my schedule to work with you over the course of one to three days for three to six hours per day on a focus target of your choosing.  Intensives are designed to support meaningful change in the way the nervous system feels safest, not rushed into an hour here and there.  Ready for deeper healing?  If you live in Pennsylvania or are willing to travel to Pennsylvania for a therapy intensive, you can learn more or schedule a reserve a free consultation by clicking here: Learn More or Reserve a Free Consultation

Christmas after divorce can hit your body before your mind ever catches up.You can know logically that other people's celebrations have nothing to do with you—and still feel the ache, the comparison, the quiet grief in your chest when you wake up.Today's episode is different.This is a short quantum healing track designed to help your nervous system release the emotional charge that gets activated when you imagine other families celebrating—and then turn back toward your own reality.Quantum healing works by bringing awareness to how your body responds to emotional contrast, then gently clearing the stored stress response without forcing positivity or bypassing grief.By the end of this track, many women notice: – less heaviness in the chest – a softening of comparison and loneliness – a calmer, more grounded nervous system – more space to meet Christmas Day as it actually isNo fixing. No reframing. Just relief.Press play when you're somewhere quiet and let your body do what it already knows how to do.Join Dear Divorce Diary Premium to access the full 12 Days of Divorce Christmas.Capacity builds in connection. Hugs ❤️Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawnInstagram: (@dawnwiggins)Instagram: (@coachtiffini)On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.comA podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.Support the show✨Join the Cocoon Community - your people are waiting! ✨

That weird week between the holidays and New Year's hits different. You've survived the holiday chaos, the family dynamics, the endless to-do lists, and now you're supposed to just... exist? Enter: the emotional hangover.In this episode, we break down why that post-holiday crash feels so brutal and what actually helps when you're running on empty.What We Cover:Why 80-90% of adults report increased stress during the holidays (and why the crash afterwards is inevitable)The real reason that week between Christmas and New Year's feels like floating through spaceHow family dynamics amplify emotional exhaustion (hello, suddenly being 12 years old again)Five practical ways to take care of yourself when you're emotionally hungoverWhy grief shows up in unexpected ways during this seasonHow to honor your actual capacity instead of pushing throughKey Takeaways: Research shows more than half of adults need weeks to feel regulated after the holidays. If you're crashed on the couch questioning everything, you're recovering. That's what your nervous system is supposed to do.Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Welcome to Day 3 of the 12 Days of Divorce Christmas...also known as the 12 Days of Becoming Her Again.Today we're talking about one of the hardest moments after divorce: going to the holiday party alone.The explaining.The questions you don't want to answer.The way your body tightens when you walk into a room where you used to belong as part of a couple.For many women, this isn't just social anxiety — it's identity grief. You were someone's wife. You had a role. You had a place.And now you're figuring out who you are without rehearsing strength or pretending you're fine.In this episode, Joy and I walk you through how to prepare for being single at the holiday party in a way that actually supports your nervous system — instead of leaving you depleted before you even arrive.We talk about:Why your brain naturally rehearses what you don't want to happenHow that rehearsal increases anxiety and self-protectionA simple journaling practice to shift from fear to preferenceHow to decide how you want to feel — without trying to change other peoplePractical grounding tools you can use before and during the eventWhat to reach for when you feel yourself starting to disappearThis episode isn't about performing confidence. It's about staying in Self.You don't need the night to go perfectly. You just need a way to stay connected to you while you're there.And we'll walk you through that — step by step.

In today's longest episode ever, we go through the backstory of Brandi, who is a Developmental Psychology PhD and whose husband came out as transgender after years of marital dysfunction. What I love about Brandi, who I also knew in grad school, is how she owns her own contribution to this dysfunction, looking at her part through an attachment lens. Anyone who has been involved with an avoidant partner, who was lied to or cheated on, or who was in a sexless marriage that was later explained by something that could have been shared with you sooner (an affair, sexual orientation that wasn't disclosed, porn/sex addiction) will love this episode. Brandi credits her recovery and remarriage to EMDR, IFS therapy, and working on herself, but I also think her sense of humor and ability to be objective about herself and her situation played a huge part! Buckle up for this amazing episode and follow Brandi here, where you can learn all about the details of her story: https://www.tiktok.com/@brandistupicaJoin the Midlife Women's group here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drpsychmom.com/mwg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe if you love the DPM show! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent: "Give A Gift To The Partner You HAVE, Not The Partner You WISH You Had!"For my secret Facebook group, the "best money I've ever spent" according to numerous members: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/drpsychmom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For coaching from DPM, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For therapy or coaching, contact us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Welcome to Day 2 of the 12 Days of Divorce Christmas...also known as the 12 Days of Becoming Her Again.Today we're talking about something no one prepares you for after divorce: when the house is too quiet.Not peaceful quiet.Not restful quiet.The kind of quiet that feels heavy, deafening, and impossible to sit in.When the house feels too quiet, most of us instinctively want to:distractdissociateget busyscrolleatspendnumbAnything to avoid being alone with the silence.But today, Joy and I offer a third option...one that doesn't involve running away or forcing yourself to sit still and “process.”We talk about why:Silence after divorce can dysregulate your nervous systemStillness isn't always calming when you're grievingMany women forget how to play, make noise, and take up space when they're aloneAnd then we invite you into something different.This episode is about:Using sound, volume, and movement as nervous system medicineReclaiming your right to be loud in your own homeReleasing stored emotion through music, voice, and playReconnecting to parts of you that were silenced — as a child, as a wife, as a womanThis is not about being productive. It's not about doing healing “right.”It's about aliveness.If the quiet has been breaking you, this episode will help you meet it differently — with energy, humor, and permission to be big.

Grab a copy of Dr. Ingrid Clayton's book here — https://amzn.to/48Semw4Want to listen on Audible? Get a free Premium Plus trial here: https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp(As an Amazon associate, I receive a small commission on purchases made through the links on this channel. Thanks for making this show possible!)Ingrid Clayton, PhD, is a writer and clinical psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles, California. She's the author of Fawning: a powerful to the often-overlooked piece of the fight-flight-freeze reaction to trauma, Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma, where she uncovers her personal experience of childhood trauma from a psychologist's perspective, and Recovering Spirituality: Achieving Emotional Sobriety in Your Spiritual Practice. Ingrid is a regular contributor to Psychology Today, where her article “What is Self-Gaslighting?” is considered an essential read!With a Masters in transpersonal psychology and a PhD in clinical psychology, Ingrid has a holistic approach to psychotherapy, incorporating trauma-informed modalities like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, and other experiential ways of working with the nervous system. Ingrid has been using a relational approach to therapy since 2004, bringing her whole self to the work—including her personal experience, intuition, and education. This enables her to be in real connection and collaboration with her clients.✖️✖️✖️Support the Show: Patreon.com/PreacherBoys✖️✖️✖️If you or someone you know has experienced abuse, visit courage365.org/need-help✖️✖️✖️CONNECT WITH THE SHOW:preacherboyspodcast.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoyshttps://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/https://twitter.com/preacherboysdochttps://www.instagram.com/preacherboyspodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@preacherboyspodTo connect with a community that shares the Preacher Boys Podcast's mission to expose abuse in the IFB, join the OFFICIAL Preacher Boys Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1403898676438188/✖️✖️✖️The content presented in this video is for informational and educational purposes only. All individuals and entities discussed are presumed innocent until proven guilty through due legal process. The views and opinions expressed are those of the speakers.✖️✖️✖️Music by Lou Ridley — “Bible Belt” | Used with permission under license.This episode is sponsored by/brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/PreacherBoys and get on your way to being your best self.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/preacher-boys-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We share a therapy update about reconnecting to ourselves, and how that reconnects our timeline, too.Our website is HERE:  System Speak Podcast.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE.  Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine.  We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, movie groups, social events, and classes.  Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Welcome to Day 1 of the 12 Days of Divorce Christmas...also known as the 12 days of becoming her again.If you're listening today, there's a good chance part of you feels like: “I can't do this.” Not the holidays. Not the decisions. Not the weight of doing this alone.This episode isn't here to convince you otherwise.It's here to help you understand that when you feel like you can't, it's not weakness or victimhood — it's a capacity issue, not a character flaw.In today's episode, we talk about:Why feeling like “I can't do this” often means your system is depleted, not brokenHow divorce grief and the holidays quietly drain nervous system capacityWhy being “too strong for too long” eventually leads to collapseWhat actually increases capacity (and what doesn't)A short, gentle vagal breathing practice to help your body downshift in real timeThis is not a big breakthrough episode. It's a grounding episode.Water.Food.Breath.Connection.The basics that matter when everything feels like too much.You don't need to fix your life today.You just need enough capacity to stay present.And today, that's enough.

Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR. ______ -BetterHelp: If you're struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105

In this episode of the Tactical Living Podcast, hosts Coach Ashlie Walton and Sergeant Clint Walton explore one of the deepest truths in first responder life (Amazon Affiliate) — there is always that one call that never fully lets you go. It may have been early in your career. It may have blindsided you years later. It may involve a face you still see, a sound you still hear, a decision you still question, or a moment you still relive in the quiet. Some calls fade. Other calls get stored in the nervous system like a permanent tattoo. This episode unpacks why certain incidents imprint so deeply and what you can do when a moment from the past keeps interrupting your present.

Send us a textI am Aylin Webb, psychologist, CBT & EMDR therapist, and resilience coach.  If the podcast conversations resonate with you, check out my book Perfectly Imperfect here: https://amzn.to/46sLwysIn this episode, “Fearless Finance for Perfectionists: Letting Go of Money Anxiety”, I'm joined by Lori Atwood, founder and CEO of Fearless Finance and a CFP® professional. Lori created Fearless Finance to offer expert, fiduciary, hourly financial planning with no sales, no minimums, and no judgement, after more than 25 years in investment banking, asset management, and private equity.We talk about how perfectionism and anxiety show up as financial anxiety, avoidance, and all-or-nothing thinking around saving and investing. Lori explains how to think more calmly about risk, stock market ups and downs, and emergency savings, and why you don't need a lot of money or a perfect plan to start investing.We also explore why unhappiness is very expensive, how emotional distress leads to overspending, and why it's never too late to take small, imperfect steps toward financial freedom and a healthier relationship with money.Find out more about Lori: https://www.linkedin.com/in/loriatwoodWatch it on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LMzp-WrddHkDon't forget to "Like and Subscribe", so we can reach more people to help.Visit www.mindandmood.co.uk, email info@mindandmood.co.ukor call us on +44 (0)207 183 6364 to find out more.#FearlessFinance #Perfectionism #MoneyAnxiety #FinancialFreedom #FinancialPlanning #FiduciaryAdvisor #HourlyAdvice #InvestingForBeginners #MentalHealthAndMoney #AnxietyReliefSupport the show

Flood. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

What if the deeper purpose of your career, relationships, or home wasn't about the goal itself, but about reconnecting with the truest version of you?In this heartfelt conversation, actress Beth Behrs (Two Broke Girls, The Neighborhood) joins Jessica to explore the evolution of her manifestation practice—from hyper-specific manifestation lists in her 20s to soul-rooted simplicity in her late 30s. Through TBM tools, EMDR, the grounding presence of horses, and motherhood, Beth shares how healing childhood wounds of feeling “not enough” helped her redefine purpose, release perfectionism, and rediscover joyful creativity.Though there's no single roadmap to success in creative fields, Beth's story offers powerful expansion for anyone with a deep drive who's willing to follow the universe's signals toward aligned expression. It's a reminder that passion and purpose are allowed to evolve—and that anchoring into authenticity is what life is truly about.This episode is an invitation to soften, surrender, and reconnect with the artist, the child, and the soul within.Find the complete show notes here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast Resources: Big End of Year SALE - 30% off Annual and Monthly Subscriptions Return to Magic - 15 Day Manifestation ChallengeA 15-day guided journey to reparent your inner child, reconnect with your magic, and step into this new year as your most confident, regulated, and magnetic self yet. Join our membership to access. (Available Now!)The Pathway Membership gives you unlimited access to all of our manifestation workshops—including How to Manifest, Unblocking Your Inner Child, Shadow, Love, Money, Rock Bottoms, Ruts, and Energetic Updates —plus 70+ self-hypnosis tracks designed to unlock your full potential.LEARN MORE HERE Get the latest from TBMJoin the Pathway now - NEW Return to Magic Challenge available now! Big End of Year SALE - 30% off New to TBM? Free Offerings to Get You StartedLearn the Process! Expanded Podcast - How to Manifest Anything You Desire Get Expanded! The Motivation - Testimonial LibraryReady to find out what's holding you back? Try our Free Clarity Exercise Be an EXPANDER! Share Your Manifestation StorySubmit to Be a Process GuestWhat did you manifest during the Money Challenge? Share a voice note of your question, block, or Process to be featured in an episode! This Episode is brought to you by: Anima Mundi - Use code TBM20 for 20% off purchaseRitual Candle Collection Osea - 10% off with MAGNETIC10Undaria Algae™ Body OilUndaria Algae™ Body ButterDream Night CreamHoliday Sets In this episode we talk about:The surprising way Beth's manifestation lists have evolved over the last decadeThe root of overachieving: not-enoughness, people-pleasing, and perfectionismThe shift from chasing validation to trusting magnetic alignmentWhy simplicity and surrender are Beth's new manifestation mantrasHow Beth's passion and connection with horses has become her most authentic hobby – and the honesty this therapeutic connection revealsWhy presence and play are essential to her nervous system and creativityThe real cost of inauthentic striving (and the power of letting go)Revisiting dreams with a more grounded, integrated selfHow parenthood reshaped her priorities and boundariesReleasing “Cool Kids Club” dynamics from both Hollywood and childhoodBuilding a new definition of success rooted in embodiment and joyThe importance of community, creativity, and living your version of freedom Mentioned In the Episode: Expanded Podcast - How to Manifest Anything You Desire HOW TO MANIFEST by Lacy Phillips Find our Money Challenge plus all our workshops and all workshops mentioned inside our Pathway Membership!  (Including the Worst Case Scenario DI, Safe DI, and Purpose & Soul's Essence DI) Connect with Beth!Beth Behrs on IGBeth on Tiktok HOW TO MANIFEST by Lacy Phillips (with exercises by Jessica Gill)Available now! The Expanded Podcast, from To Be Magnetic™ (TBM), is the leading manifestation podcast rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and energetics. Hosted by TBM's Chief Content Officer Jessica Gill, with monthly appearances from founder Lacy Phillips, Expanded is where science and the mystical meet to help you manifest in the most grounded, practical, and life-changing way.At TBM, we've redefined manifestation through Neural Manifestation™—our proven, science-backed method developed with neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart. This process helps you reprogram limiting beliefs at the subconscious level so you can create the life most aligned with your authenticity.Each week, we take you inside the TBM practice to help you expand your subconscious to believe what you desire is possible. Through expert interviews, thought leader conversations, TBM teachings, and real member success stories, you'll learn how to: – Rewire your subconscious mind and step into your worth – Heal your inner child and integrate shadow work – Set boundaries, strengthen intuition, and reclaim self-worth – Manifest relationships, careers, abundance, and experiences that align with your true selfWith over than 40 million downloads and a global community in over 100 countries, Expanded has become the gold standard in manifestation content. Think of it as your weekly practice for expanding your mind, believing what you want is possible, and manifesting the life you're meant to live.Past guests include leading voices such as Mel Robbins, Lewis Howes, Jenna Zoe, Martha Beck, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Gabor Maté, Mark Groves, and Brianna Wiest. Where To Find Us!@tobemagnetic (IG)@LacyannephillipsLacy Launched a Substack! - By Candlelight - Join Here@Jessicaashleygill@tobemagnetic (youtube)@expandedpodcast