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Join Sam, Ellie, and special guest Susan Anderson as they explore inner and outer child dynamics, the path to authentic self-love, and overcoming abandonment issues.
In this episode, we have the very cool Andrea Ashley! We talk about what it means to be an adult child and how she realized she was one. She also talks about the concept of the inner child and the outer child and how separating the two parts of you is important. We also talk about how she has identified her inner child's messages and stopped and felt them. Here are some key takeaways from the episode: Adult children are people who respond to life with self-doubt, self-blame, and a sense of being wrong or inferior. Abandonment is a profound enough trauma to siphon off self-esteem. It is important to separate the inner child from the outer child. The inner child is the part of you that holds onto your childhood wounds. The outer child is the part of you that is trying to protect you from those wounds. It is possible to heal your inner child and break the cycle of shame. If you are interested in learning more about the inner and child, this episode is for you. ******************* Breathwork has been the modality and tool that has changed my entire life. It has allowed me to work through deep wounds, overcoming and tackling limiting beliefs, which has allowed me to create two thriving businesses while having more peace in my body and soul. Regina Lawrence is a former trial attorney and law school professor turned soulful business & life strategist and breathwork coach. You can find Regina on Instagram @reginaalawrence Want to learn more about breathwork? Check out www.breathewithregina.com to learn more about Regina's virtual breathwork membership.
Susan Anderson psychotherapist is an expert on how to overcome abandonment and its aftermath of self-sabotaging patterns. Author of four books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing, The Abandonment Recovery Workbook, and Taming Your Outer Child, she reaches out through her websites, workshops, and media to share her methods of abandonment recovery with victims of abandonment trauma, heartbreak, and loss around the world. Her groundbreaking program is the product of over thirty years of research and clinical practice. Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and groundbreaking research to working with victims of abandonment trauma. Founder of the Abandonment Recovery and Outer Child movements, she is author of Journey from Abandonment to Healing, The Abandonment Recovery Workbook, Taming Your Outer Child, and The Black Swan: 12 Lessons of Abandonment Recovery, she reaches out through her website, workshops, recordings, and media to share her methods with victims of abandonment trauma, heartbreak, and loss around the world. https://www.abandonment.net/meet-susan Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This week we're talking self-sabotage! You know that thing you always do even though you know you shouldn't? That thing that you just can't seem to shake? Well, hopefully, today's episode will loosen its hold on you just a little. It's time to learn how to live from the 'creation orientation', follow your own trail of breadcrumbs, and listen to your heart's desire when making decisions.
This week we explore the power of self-talk and how to befriend the voice in our head! So many of us are used to living with an inner voice that can be less than helpful at times. This isn't just about living with more peace, but about learning how to tap into a fully inspired life. See you there!
Today we are joined by returning guest, the QUEEN of abandonment trauma recovery, In today's episode, we discuss the difference between the Inner Child & Outer Child, how to communicate with the Inner Child to self-sabotaging ways, and why we are attracted to the available, and how abandonment trauma leads us to be subconsciously attracted to the unavailable. Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people overcome abandonment trauma and its aftermath of self sabotaging patterns. Founder of the abandonment recovery movement, she reaches out through her websites, workshops, and media to share her methods of abandonment recovery with abandonment survivors from around the world. Susan is author of four trailblazing books including The Abandonment Recovery Workbook & Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment.www.abandonment.net⬇️DAMN THE JOIN PATREON - ADULT CHILD HEALING C OMMUNITY⬇️https://www.patreon.com/adultchild
We've all heard of our inner child, right? That wounded inner child who is still reckoning with incidents occurring in our childhood. But, have you ever heard of your “outer child”? Tell me if this sounds familiar: You are going back home to visit your family and the minute you get around your parents, it's like you're 16 all over again. You're angsty, everything is unfair, and you just want to burn incense and listen to music, yet hanging out with your fam makes you want to lash out and yell and scream and maybe break a lava lamp. And suddenly all of the coping mechanisms you've learned in decades of therapy are out the window. This, my friend, is your Outer Child. It's a way in which we regress to earlier versions of ourselves and act out from that place when surrounded by triggering people. And, let's face it, it's often our family. In this week's episode, I dial up Alexa Rae Schiefer, Trauma Coach and former mental health clinician, to ask her some heavy-hitting questions around the trauma we incur from our primary caregivers. We dig into the concept of “Parentification Trauma”, the inner and outer child, what trauma responses tend to look like, and what the hell a Window of Tolerance is and why we should be aware of it. Alexa Rae and I also discuss what it means to self-soothe and how that process can vary depending on what trauma you are up against. We chat about processing the trauma of our childhoods and how, more often than not, we are trying to pretend we don't have any trauma. Yeah, ok. How's that working out? We even talk about what-the-hell trauma even is. If you know you've got a wound, or two, or twenty, to process from your childhood, be sure to grab a pen and paper. This is a good one. This pod explores: The definition of trauma and how we all pretty much have it Understanding Parentification Trauma and how that influences your behavior later on in life What common trauma responses look like and what you can do about them Understanding Abandonment Wounds and how they show up in our lives _______ HIRE ME TO SPEAK AT YOUR EVENT! ACCESS ‘ENOUGHNESS'. POWERFULLY NAVIGATE FEAR. SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF. I have three battle-tested (and badass) keynote speeches that are ready to be delivered to your company, organization, group, or association. If you or anyone you know could benefit from me droppin' some gems (um, like, who couldn't use some new tools?) please send them to THIS FANCY INFO PAGE on my site where you/they can message me directly about specific needs. ______ PERKS FOR THE POD-IENCE This podcast is sponsored by LetsGetChecked and The Bold-Faced Truth Podcast listeners get a whoppin' 30% off their first test kit of choice at tryglc.com/boldtruth or simply enter code boldtruth at checkout. Hello!! Getting necessary medical testing can be simple, safe, and easily done in the privacy of your own home. Check out this killer offer from LetsGetChecked and save 30% on your first test kit! Check it out ~> _____ ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: Nadine Burke Harris TED Talk: How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime Standing up for yourself with Amy Green Smith on Authentically You with Alexa Rae! ___ THIS WEEK'S ‘DIAL AN EXPERT' GUESTIE: Alexa Rae (she/her) is known online as the “Authenticity Healer” and woman who decided to shake up the healing game in mental health. Her full first name is Alexa Rae and she used to go by Alexa until Amazon stole her name. Now she goes by “Alexa Rae” or “A. Rae” for short. She is living her purpose on earth to help as many women as possible connect to their authentic selves. She is renowned for her ability to deeply connect with women, help them see their worth, and for being a down-to-earth healer. In her former life, Alexa Rae was a professional mental health clinician who worked in a variety of areas – acute mental health, trauma, forensics, eating disorders, adolescents, education, and more. She left this realm as she struggled working in a field full of gaps in healing and wanted to shake up the mental health game. Since quitting her career to follow her purpose, she has gone on to help hundreds of women reconnect with who they are meant to be on this planet and heal the relationship with themselves and their bodies. Alexa Rae has traveled the country speaking to women at various events, is a part-time professor in a mental health and substance use graduate program where she educates the up and coming clinicians to approach mental health differently, and runs a podcast called “Authentically You.” Grab Alexa's “Get Out of Your Own Dang Way” free email series. Visit Alexa's website for healing programs, courses, and resources. ___ HOW TO LEAVE APPLE PODCASTS REVIEWS: Click the “Subscribe on Apple Podcasts” button below or go HERE Click on blue button that reads “view in Apple Podcasts” which will open the podcast into your personal Apple Podcasts account Click “Ratings & Reviews” under the show title Click the star rating of choice and then click the “Write a Review” button You can also click “Subscribe” under the podcast photo to be automatically notified of new episodes ______ WANT TO SUBMIT A SHOW TOPIC? Swing by THIS PAGE and let us hear what you would like us to sound off on!
Today's episode I share my thoughts on the concept of the inner child, and how we can choose to be a wise inner parent to this small and fragile side of ourself. Join the conversation on Instagram: become_rooted Email: getrootedpodcast@gmail.com Book mentioned in the podcast: "Taming the Outer Child" by Susan Anderson --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/getrootedpodcast/support
Many people never even consider the emotional blockages that stem from their childhood as an inhibitor in their current life struggles, and it's easy to be skeptical. In this episode we discuss the science of why our childhood is a poignant time to revisit when trying to heal our bodies and souls.Take the free ACE quiz: https://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/Take my free inner child wellness course: https://www.eclecticwellnesssd.com/freecourseGet $200 OFF my Higher Consciousness Codes with code "FALL21": https://eclectic-wellness-by-nia.teachable.com/p/spiritually-curiousThis sale has been extended until 12/15 for those who want to take advantage of the savings. Payment plays are available!!Join our FB community: www.facebook.com/groups/nutritionforthesoul
Welcome to Mr. Saunders' Sand Box! In this episode, Jeff Saunders talks about his outer child, which is most likely just an elaborate excuse to be silly and goofy. Help support childhood cancer research: https://stbaldricks.org/teams/ShAVINGLIVES2021 Find all of our links below: Bit.ly/FTMlinks --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/feeding-the-monster/message
As adults, we have the bad habit of shutting down a child's process, and our inner child is no exception. Eden takes us through the 3 dimensions of attuning to your inner and outer child. Attunement is how we create safety in relationship so we can create positive, secure connection. Awareness, empathy, and responsiveness allow us as parents (to our children and ourselves) to offer care in a way that nurtures a secure connection in relationships. For more on this episode and more on attachment between episodes, follow Eden on Instagram at @edenhyder or visit https://www.insideoutcollaborative.com/attached-enough
We all have heared the inner child and the need to heal. But, did you know that we have to tame our outer child before it continues to sabotage our life. Reference: Taming Your Outer Child, Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment Author: Susan Anderson You can find Chicana Moms Podcast on Instagram @chicanamomspodcast --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
In the Hawaiian teachings the Higher Self is called the Aumakua or “utterly trustworthy parental self”. Just as our Higher Self is our “utterly trustworthy parental self”, we are meant to become the “utterly trustworthy parental self” for our real children and inner child! Our job is to teach our outer children to become the “utterly trustworthy parental self” for themselves! Which brings us to the subject of inner parenting! We all have a relationship to ourselves! What is this self? Another name for this self is the inner child or child consciousness. Each person must learn to parent their child, and this applies, as we have learned, inwardly and outwardly! There are two ways of parenting either ourselves or a real external child⎯the Spiritual way or the egotistical way. The Spiritual way of parenting is to be firm but loving, so yin and yang are balanced. We explore the 7 types of Inner Child from a full spectrum prism Higher Octave Understanding
What makes us break our diets, or run up our credit cards, or be attracted to all the wrong people? We know these aren’t healthy things to do, but sometimes we just can’t help it. In this inspiring conversation, psychotherapist Susan Anderson says that our self-sabotaging behaviors come from an aspect of our personalities that most people aren’t consciously aware of—their Outer Child. She explains the many ways that the Outer Child can wreck havock on our adult lives, and offers a three-pronged program for stopping its self-defeating behavior.
Susan Anderson is the author of The Abandonment Recovery Workbook, as well as Taming Your Outer Child and The Journey from Abandonment to Healing. The founder of the Outer Child and Abandonment Recovery movements, she has devoted the past 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people resolve abandonment and overcome self-sabotage. Visit her online at http://www.abandonment.net. The word abandonment conjures up children left at birth, fathers packing up and moving out, sudden lovers betraying one another’s hearts, and sudden death. But abandonment breaks our hearts in subtle ways, too, as when we are not recognized for our accomplishments, dismissed by a friend, or not invited to a party. It is a challenge that everyone must eventually face at one level or another. In The Abandonment Recovery Workbook: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss (New World Library, August 15, 2016), psychotherapist and bestselling author Susan Anderson helps readers heal the wound of abandonment through a step-by-step process of personal recovery. She guides them through the five stages of abandonment — shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — by offering practical tools and exercises designed to help them find greater life and love than ever before. The Abandonment Recovery Workbook will help readers: • Overcome the heartbreak caused by the loss of love • Heal the underlying abandonment wound from past or present losses • Build self-esteem and overcome fear of rejections • Resolve issues of mistrust and insecurity • Identify self-defeating behaviors of the outer child • Make better choices and build new connections • Increatae the capacity to love ____________________________________________ About Path 11 Productions: You can find DVDs of our films on our website at thepathseries.com or by streaming on vimeo.com, gaia.com & itunes find us on facebook and follow us on twitter, @thepathseries
For Life on Purpose Episode #57, my guest is author and psychotherapist Susan Anderson, who has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and research to working with the victims of abandonment trauma, grief, and loss and teaches people around the world how to overcome abandonment and its aftermath of self-sabotaging patterns. Susan joined me for a powerful chat about her new book, The Abandonment Recovery Workbook: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss, as well as how her own life journey paved the way for her most powerful work, and MUCH more! “Learning the steps to take after surviving a great loss is a hopeful process. You discover your ability to benefit from the experience rather than be diminished by it,” says Anderson. “Many of you are going through heartbreak, getting separated or divorced, or feel isolated and alone. Many of you are grieving over someone close to you who has died. Some seek recovery from childhood wounds that impinge on the quality of your current life. But our journey will take us beyond the specifics of your loss, all the way to the underlying source of the fear and despair —abandonment — the crux of the human condition.” About: Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist who has devoted over 30 years of clinical experience and research to working with the victims of abandonment trauma, grief, and loss. Author of Taming your Outer Child: Overcoming your Self Defeating Patterns; Journey from Abandonment to Healing; Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery; and The Abandonment Recovery Workbook, she is founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, a worldwide program of techniques and support groups that help people heal their abandonment wounds past and present, overcome their self-defeating “Outer Child” patterns, and find greater life and love. Through extensive clinical research, group work, and scientific study, she has developed a treatment protocol specific to overcoming the impact of abandonment trauma in adults and children. Her five universal stages of abandonment recovery (Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting) are based upon scientific findings related to the psychobiology of separation and attachment. Through her books and public appearances, she shares her own experiences with abandonment, grief, and recovery, speaking passionately from personal and professional experience. In addition to her national tours to promote abandonment recovery, she continues in private practice in Manhattan and Long Island. To learn more about Susan and her work, visit: http://www.abandonment.net/.
Psychotherapist and bestselling author, Susan Anderson, is a returning guest with a new book - The Abandonment Recovery Workbook. The founder of the Outer Child and Abandonment Recovery movements, Susan has devoted the past 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people resolve abandonment and overcome self-sabotageThe word abandonment conjures up children left at birth, fathers packing up and moving out, sudden lovers betraying one another’s hearts, and sudden death.But abandonment breaks our hearts in subtle ways, too, as when we are not recognized for our accomplishments, dismissed by a friend, or not invited to a party. It is a challenge that everyone must eventually face at one level or another.In The Abandonment Recovery Workbook: Guidance through the Five Stages of Healing from Abandonment, Heartbreak, and Loss (New World Library, August 15, 2016), Anderson helps readers heal the wound of abandonment through a step-by-step process of personal recovery.She guides them through the five stages of abandonment — shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — by offering practical tools and exercises designed to help them find greater life and love than ever before.The Abandonment Recovery Workbook will help readers:• Overcome the heartbreak caused by the loss of love• Heal the underlying abandonment wound from past or present losses• Build self-esteem and overcome fear of rejections• Resolve issues of mistrust and insecurity• Identify self-defeating behaviors of the outer child• Make better choices and build new connections
Here is the interview on Youtube https://youtu.be/3HRJyTz05O4From www.abandonment.netThis book takes Abandonment Recovery to the next level. It serves as a guidebook and includes checklists, Outer Child inventories, questionnaires, and healing tools – new information and lots of support to get you through the anguish of heartbreak.It guides you step-by-step through the healing programs of Outer Child, Akeru, S.W.I.R.L., and Swan Lessons. It extends the information provided in JOURNEY FROM ABANDONMENT TO HEALING and BLACK SWAN: 12 LESSONS OF ABANDONMENT RECOVERY.It breaks with new insight about the patterns that plague your relationships, those cycles of re-abandonment so many of you are caught up in, i.e.“Abandoholism” (attracted only to unavailable lovers)– Being “love challenged” (difficulty loving a willing partner. Does this describe your abandoner or you?) Insecurity, fear, and emotional hunger causing you to self-sabotageIt shows you how to finally break your Outer Child patterns and make healthy new connections.abandonment issues symptoms,abandonment issues in men,dealing with abandonment issues,abandonment issues definition,fear of abandonment,abandonment issues gta 5,abandonment issues in children,overcoming abandonment issues,
Why do we do self-defeating things like eating an entire sleeve of cookies when we are supposed to be on a diet? Or running up charges on our credit cards when we’re already struggling to make the minimum payment? Or acting out in ways that sabotage our relationships? In Taming Your Outer Child:Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing From Abandonment (New World Library, February 10, 2015), psychotherapist and author Susan Anderson says that these self-sabotaging behaviors come from an aspect of our personalities that most people aren’t consciously aware of — their Outer Child. Learn about the proven three-pronged program for stopping the Outer Child’s self-defeating behaviors that gratify in the moment but hurt over the long term. Let go of past disappointments and self-recrimination and get on with the essential work of healing, building boundaries, and acquiring the skills to reach your goals.
Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist who has devoted over 30 years of clinical experience and research to working with the victims of abandonment trauma, grief, and loss. Author of Taming your Outer Child: Overcoming your Self Defeating Patterns; Journey from Abandonment to Healing; Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery; and Journey from Heartbreak to Connection, she is founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, a worldwide program of techniques and support groups that help people heal their abandonment wounds past and present, overcome their self-defeating “Outer Child” patterns, and find greater life and love.Her books are translated into German, Japanese, French, Spanish, Korean, and sold internationally. Her websites www.outerchild.net and www.abandonment.net reach out to both abandonment survivors and clinicians throughout the world to promote group and individual support.Through extensive clinical research, group work, and scientific study, she has developed a treatment protocol specific to overcoming the impact of abandonment trauma in adults and children. Her five universal stages of abandonment recovery (Shattering, Withdrawal, Internalizing, Rage, and Lifting) are based upon scientific findings related to the psychobiology of separation and attachment. Through her books and public appearances, she shares her own experiences with abandonment, grief, and recovery, speaking passionately from personal and professional experience.
"Taming Your Outer Child: the Self-Sabotaging,Bungling, and Impulsive Part of Your Personality" Show Guest: Dr. Susan Anderson Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality that blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans. Susan Anderson's new book, Tame Your Outer Child, give all of us action steps that act like physical therapy for the brain - calms your Inner Child, strengthens your Adult Self, releases you from the self-blame and shame at the root of Outer Child issues, and paves new neural pathways that can lead to more productive behavior. The result is happiness, fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-love.
"Taming Your Outer Child: the Self-Sabotaging,Bungling, and Impulsive Part of Your Personality" Show Guest: Dr. Susan Anderson Chances are, you've already had run-ins with your Outer Child - the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality that blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans. Susan Anderson's new book, Tame Your Outer Child, give all of us action steps that act like physical therapy for the brain - calms your Inner Child, strengthens your Adult Self, releases you from the self-blame and shame at the root of Outer Child issues, and paves new neural pathways that can lead to more productive behavior. The result is happiness, fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-love.
Ready to take control of your life? Maybe it starts with taming your outer child – The self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality! Find out more in a dynamic interview with Teri and Susan Anderson
Join Scott on FACEBOOK Scott Cluthe LIVE tonight with Susan Anderson on Taming Your Outer Child. Call in: 347-308-8478 Meet your Outer Child, the self-sabotaging nemesis of your personality – the part that breaks your diet and gets attracted to all the wrong people. Whereas your Inner child is all about feelings, your Outer child is all about behavior. Outer Child acts out your inner child’s feelings – especially your abandonment feelings – without giving you, the adult, a chance to intervene. When you feel hurt, angry, or insecure, Outer acts out these feelings in ways that sabotage your relationships. Outer works like a bungling undercover agent to protect (overprotect) you from potential hurt. Stealthy, quick, and misguided, it intercepts love before you ever know what happened. Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist who has devoted the past 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people overcome their “outer child” patterns of self-sabotage and resolve their underlying abandonment wounds. She is author ofJourney from Abandonment to Healing; Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery; and the WORKBOOK: Journey from Heartbreak to Connection. Her latest book, Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Defeating Patternscan ordered now. Her books are translated into German, Japanese, French, Spanish, Korean, and sold internationally.
About the book: Chances are, you’ve already had run-ins with your Outer Child — the self-sabotaging, bungling, and impulsive part of your personality. This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans. Now, in a revolutionary rethinking of the link between emotion and behavior, veteran psychotherapist Susan Anderson offers a three-step program to tame your Outer Child’s destructive behavior. This dynamic, transformational set of strategies — action steps that act like physical therapy for the brain — calms your Inner Child, strengthens your Adult Self, releases you from the self-blame and shame at the root of Outer Child issues, and paves new neural pathways that can lead to more productive behavior. The result is happiness, fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-love. About the author: Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and research to helping people overcome abandonment trauma and its aftermath of self sabotaging patterns. Founder of the abandonment recovery movement, she reaches out through her websites, workshops, and media to share her methods of abandonment recovery with abandonment survivors from around the world. Anderson is author of four trailblazing books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing and Taming Your Outer Child which guide people through a protocol specific to healing abandonment, heartbreak, and loss. People can contribute to Susan’s ongoing research project by submitting (confidentially) your personal stories to her website www.abandonment.net/submit-your-personal-abandonment-story. The websites www.abandonment.net and www.outerchild.net reach out with help and information. You are welcome to contact the author directly.
In today's episode, we delve deep into the realm of self-sabotage with renowned therapist and abandonment trauma expert, Susan Anderson, exploring her groundbreaking concept of the "Outer Child."What You'll Learn:The Concept of the Outer Child: Explore how the Outer Child, distinct from the Inner Child, acts out deep-seated fears and unresolved issues through self-defeating behaviors.Roots of the Outer Child: Susan describes how past abandonment and insecurity fuel the Outer Child, leading to behaviors like procrastination and relationship difficulties.Strategies to Manage the Outer Child: Learn about effective steps and exercises to control the Outer Child, promoting improved self-regulation and healthier relationships.Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat