Podcasts about Attachment

What if our phones aren't just distracting us from our lives, but helping us avoid feeling them AND from feeling all the feelings that tend to make life feel messy? Now THAT'S a big “what if”, right? This week I'm talking with Shannon Algeo about his book "The Power in Your Hands" - a book you NEED on your shelf. One thing to note: Shannon's book isn't a call to throw away our phones; it's an invitation to examine our relationship with technology and reclaim our attention, our creativity, our relationships, and (ultimately) our ability to be fully present for this one wild and precious life that we get to live. This was one of the more vulnerable conversations I've had on the podcast. I hope you'll listen with an open heart. -- About Shannon Algeo Shannon Algeo is a psychotherapist, yoga and meditation teacher, writer, and author of The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology. His work explores the intersection of psychology, spirituality, embodiment, creativity, and our increasingly complicated relationship with technology. -- SHANNON ALGEO: www.shannonalgeo.com  THE POWER IN YOUR HANDS: https://amzn.to/4zgjsNE MY NEW BOOK: https://a.co/d/fsUTllj ART STUDIO: https://www.whatifproject.net/art SUPPORT THE SHOW: https://www.whatifproject.net/support (**NOTE: these show notes contain Amazon affiliate links. If you use these links to buy something I may earn a small commission)

It’s the end all over again. We relive the Korrasami ending and recount what it was like to experience it at the time, revisit Korra’s recovery arc, Kuvira, and more on our Legend of Korra Book 4 Balance rewatch podcast. Hosts for this podcast: Dylan, Mel, Aly, Jeff, & Ben. 0:00 – Podcast Intro 1:43 – Intro to Korra Book 4 5:15– How was rewatching Book 4? 16:45 – Attachment to Characters/MVP of Book 4 40:45 – Korra’s Recovery Arc 1:08:10 – Kuvira 1:47:25 – Korrasami 3:03:45 – Asami & Hiroshi 3:14:15 – Bolin 3:18:40 – Fandom Theories 3:24:15 – Other things from Book 4 Referenced in the podcast: From the Spirit World live reactions podcast right after the finale aired: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5jcSZ7wqQY Korrasami reaction compilation featuring Aly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY1foCVjrM0 We popping bottles original post: https://tonraq.tumblr.com/post/105503926675/avatarskorra-we-popping-the-biggest-bottles

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Most couples have deep desire for sensual and intimate love in the bedroom, and today we're looking at perhaps. the biggest shadow, your attachment shadows in the bedroom with best-selling author Dr. Laurie Watson, Ph.D, (2-9 pairing). We get to talk personality a bit here as Dr. Laurie learns about the Enneagram with us but the foremost (and fascinating) conversation here is about how to bring you safer connection, whether you're anxiously or avoidantly attached. We're also bringing you Laurie's brand new and #1 release book, Brave Love, Great Sex: Harnessing Attachment Theory for Passionate Relationships on attachment and your sex life here! https://a.co/d/0dGyNQ0g. You don't want to miss this fresh and brave conversation about true intimacy! Watch on YouTube! Laurie's podcast, Brave Love, Great Sex is Here! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brave-love-great-sex-couples-therapy-podcast/id1083324677 Get Inside Your Sexy September Intimacy Vault Here!⁠ ⁠Get inside the Enneagram and Marriage Coaching and Masterclass classroom here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠ https://www.enneagramandmarriage.com/the-e-m-coaching-masterclass Use the code COACH for $250 off - or - use a payment plan!! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get inside the FREE Wholehearted Summit for Weary Women Sept 9-11 here!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.simplywholehearted.com/a/2148302131/MhoTboBT Find Amy here at her website! www.simplywholehearted.com Find more about your type, the pod, freebies, and SO much more at our website right here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.EnneagramandMarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Take the E + M Quiz at www.QuizforCouples.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Love what you're learning on E + M? Make sure you leave us a podcast review so others can find us, too⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Christa's Best-Selling Book, The Enneagram in Marriage, here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://a.co/d/df8SxVx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Who are you when your role at work changes? Psychologist and author Marisa Franco, PhD rejoins us to discuss her new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Attachment. We explore self-worth, identity, relationships, and the challenge of becoming someone new. She explains why our sense of worth often becomes attached to achievement and professional identity, and why major transitions such as retirement can shake that foundation. Marisa Franco offers a different approach: develop a sense of worth that isn't dependent on remaining who you've always been. ________________________ Bio An enlightening psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and TED speaker, Dr. Marisa G. Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. Dr. Franco works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make – and Keep – Friends and her new book Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Attachment. She writes about relationships for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. Dr. Franco speaks on how to build relationships with yourself and others at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities across the country, including Harper Collins Publishers, Cisco, American Association for the Advancement of Science, and The Department of State. _________________________ For More on Marisa G. Franco, PhD Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Attachment Website Her first visit with us on her book Platonic about making friends as an adult ___________________________ Open to another take on worth? (Highly recommend) Taylor Mali – What Teachers Make (3 minute video) ___________________________ Other Retirement Podcast Conversations You’ll Love Self-Compassion – Dr. Kristin Neff Shift – Ethan Kross ___________________________ Wise Quotes  On Contingent Worth “We're very much taught to have a contingent sense of self-worth: I am worthy if… I'm worthy if I have this job. I'm worthy if I'm in this relationship. I'm worthy if I have this financial stability perhaps. And so that contingent self-worth means that when we don't have those things, we no longer feel worthy. What I am proposing is a non-contingent sense of self-worth—a sense of self-worth that is there no matter who you are, no matter what happens to you.” On Identity & Reinvention “What I counterintuitively suggest is to allow yourself to not know yourself. You can allow your sense of self to be fluid in each moment, and you don't have to be who you've always been, but you can still have high regard for yourself. Whoever I am in each moment is okay.” On Possibility Within Loss “If you were to see this loss as an offering in some way, what would make this an offering? Is this giving you more time to spend with your friends? Is it taking you out of a workplace that maybe wasn't working for you? Is it allowing you more time to engage in an interest or passion that you've always wanted to engage in?” _______________________ About The Retirement Wisdom Podcast There are many podcasts on retirement, often hosted by financial advisors with their own financial motives, that cover the money side of the street. This podcast is different. You'll get smarter about the investment decisions you'll make about the most important asset you'll have in retirement: your time. About Retirement Wisdom I help people who are retiring, but aren't quite done yet, discover what's next and build their custom version of their next life. A meaningful retirement doesn't just happen by accident. Schedule a call today to discuss how the Designing Your Life process created by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans can help you make your life in retirement a great one — on your own terms. About Your Podcast Host Joe Casey is an executive coach who helps people design their next life after their primary career and create their version of The Multipurpose Retirement.™ He created his own next chapter after a 26-year career at Merrill Lynch, where he was Senior Vice President and Head of HR for Global Markets & Investment Banking. Joe has earned Master's degrees from the University of Southern California in Gerontology (at age 60), the University of Pennsylvania, and Middlesex University (UK), a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his coaching certification from Columbia University. In addition to his work with clients, Joe hosts The Retirement Wisdom Podcast, ranked in the top 1% globally in popularity by Listen Notes, with over 2 million downloads. Business Insider recognized Joe as one of 23 innovative coaches who are making a difference. He's the author of Win the Retirement Game: How to Outsmart the 9 Forces Trying to Steal Your Joy. _________________________ The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Retirement Wisdom Podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the policy or position of the host or Retirement Wisdom, LLC. The Retirement Wisdom Podcast covers the non-financial aspects of retirement. From time to time we may invite guests who discuss other aspects of retirement planning, solely for educational purposes. Listeners are advised to consult qualified financial and/or medical professionals on those matters.

What if the thing standing between you and your next level isn't what's happening around you but what you're holding onto within you?In this episode of Real Talk, I sit down with Mr. Mind, founder of Mind Is Everything, for a powerful conversation about the mind, identity, authenticity, spirituality, and what it really takes to transform your life.Drawing from his own journey of failure, rebuilding, addiction, and self-discovery, Mr. Mind explores some of the patterns that shape who we become, including ADHD, emotional patterns, trauma, relationships, and the stories we carry about ourselves.We dive into vulnerability versus authenticity and why being authentic doesn't mean exposing every thought, feeling, or wound. Sometimes it means knowing yourself deeply enough to choose what you express and allowing the highest version of yourself to lead.And then we go deeper.We talk about surrender. Attachment. Manifestation. Intuition. Stillness. Taking risks. And what can happen when you stop trying to control exactly how your life is supposed to unfold.In this episode, we explore:

​ ⁨@CosmicSkeptic⁩   ⁨@ChrisWillx⁩   What's The Real Truth About Religion? - Alex O'Connor https://youtu.be/XaRj1B05jyg?si=HRcQ5uTjPIIJIsz3 Raised Catholic, Became and Atheist, Found God, Almost a Messianic Christian if he were Jewish https://youtu.be/s_6Ps2dQuow?si=xdq3D9-PKEC7u-Gn  ⁨@GrimGriz⁩   Absentia Celebratia - 20260915 https://www.youtube.com/live/rU7M6ty_eZY?si=iK9KsDAY7AtRBXxk The Involvement/Attention Sphincter and Opponent Processes https://youtu.be/1nZQB2UjJks?si=s51Wv_x74o2XG2xS  ⁨@unsolicitedadvice9198⁩   How the Internet Changed Our Relationships, Permanently | Professor Doug Campbell https://youtu.be/UZ0nfyliIkM?si=rtclpU2rHznNlocK "Blaming a God for Ubiquitous Suffering but People are Innocent in Theory" https://youtu.be/lengt-gurtE?si=KOlhh1C7mRRDdODZ  Sacramento Estuary Conference Oct 16 and 17 https://www.livingstonescrc.com/events/sacramento-estuary-conference-2026/2026-10-16 What is the TLC? ("This little corner of the Internet" also know as "the corner" https://youtu.be/Y3vqSjywot8?si=IVS3bnriwje5syPO TLC Search tool. https://thislittlecorner.net The Flotilla List: https://thislittlecorner.net/channels https://www.livingstonescrc.com/give Paul Vander Klay clips channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCX0jIcadtoxELSwehCh5QTg https://www.meetup.com/sacramento-estuary/ My Substack https://paulvanderklay.substack.com/ Bridges of meaning https://discord.gg/UKg8k93c Estuary Hub Link https://www.estuaryhub.com/ There is a video version of this podcast on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/paulvanderklay To listen to this on ITunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/paul-vanderklays-podcast/id1394314333  If you need the RSS feed for your podcast player https://paulvanderklay.podbean.com/feed/  All Amazon links here are part of the Amazon Affiliate Program. Amazon pays me a small commission at no additional cost to you if you buy through one of the product links here. This is is one (free to you) way to support my videos.  https://paypal.me/paulvanderklay Blockchain backup on Lbry https://odysee.com/@paulvanderklay https://www.patreon.com/paulvanderklay Paul's Church Content at Living Stones Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCh7bdktIALZ9Nq41oVCvW-A  

Our smartphones offer extraordinary benefits, yet many of us sense they have become more than useful tools. Psychotherapist Shannon Algeo explores how attachment theory sheds new light on our relationship with technology and offers compassionate practices for reclaiming our attention, creativity, and human connection.Shannon Algeo is an American and Irish writer, psychotherapist, researcher, poet, and Yoga Nidra teacher based in California. Shannon is on the faculty of the Esalen Institute and the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, where he leads digital liberation workshops and offline retreats that help participants reclaim their attention, creativity, and relationships in an increasingly digitized world. Named one of Wanderlust's "35 Under 35 in Wellness to Watch," Shannon has spoken at the United Nations and the Museum of Contemporary Art. His work integrates attachment theory, neuroscience, mindfulness, poetry, and depth psychology to help people cultivate greater presence, resilience, and authentic human connection in the digital age. He is the author of:Trust Your Truth: Heal Self-Doubt, Awaken to Your Soul's Purpose, and Live Your Badass Life ( New Harbinger Publications 2021)The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology (Broadleaf Books, 2026)Interview Date: 6/5/2026 Tags: Shannon Algeo, technology addiction, smartphone addiction, attachment theory, digital wellbeing, digital liberation, attention, creativity, neuroscience, relationships, secure attachment, parenting, nature, mindfulness, social media, presence, inner child, Mary Main, Dr. Daniel Siegel, Anne Lamott, Mark Coleman, David J. Wallin, Paul Hewson, Mary Oliver, Nikki Myers, Marianne Williamson, Seane Corn, Victor Ochen, John Bowlby, Psychology, Personal Transformation, Technology, Relationships, Parenting, Community

What does it means to know enough, and why do so many of us have our sense of self-worth tangled up with the need to appear certain, informed, and never wrong? The common obstacles of perfectionism, yearning for power and to feel "special," along with anxiety are fueled by a world of constant information, public scrutiny, and the subtle pressure to prove our intelligence. It makes a tough environment to come back to the wisdom Socrates shared 2,500 years ago: real wisdom lives in knowing what you don't know.  The good news: getting comfortable with being wrong is a practice, not a personality trait. And the more you do it (starting small and safe), then the more your nervous system learns that doubt isn't dangerous.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes: Ep. 215: Are You Curious to Learn or Confirm?  Ep. 285: Why Doing Enough Is Enough + Why Perfectionism Predicts Burnout, Depression, & Anxiety, Not Performance Ep. 284: Having Enough: Why Acquiring More Will Never Fill the Hole in Your Self-Worth Ep. 283: You Are Enough: The Science and Practices of Enoughness Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406  Lynn Twist's Book: The Soul of Money   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I feel like I have to know everything and never be wrong... and how do I stop? A: This episode traces the drive to perform knowledge back to things like anxiety about judgment and the desire for specialness, along with the amygdala hijack that makes being wrong feel like a survival threat, and offers a practical strategy: exposure. Practice being wrong in small, safe ways until your nervous system recalibrates and realizes it isn't catastrophic.   Q: Can you actually be too certain? Isn't confidence a good thing? A: Being too certain can be detrimental. This episode unpacks the differences between genuine knowledge, intellectual humility, and the performance of certainty for reasons outside of genuine knowledge.     Key moments: [00:30] Setting the scene: Athens, 2,500 years ago — a friend asks the Oracle of Delphi who is the wisest person in the city [02:30] Socrates' conclusion: maybe he was wiser because he knew what he didn't know, and didn't shy away from that unknowing; kept asking questions [03:30] Intellectual humility: holding your beliefs loosely, staying curious, genuinely believing you might be wrong [04:00] The Enoughness layer: the belief that you have to prove your knowledge to be worthy; knowing more makes you enough [05:00] It's exhausting to feel like you need to know all the answers, to be right all the time — and none of us can actually succeed at it [05:30] Two drivers: anxiety (fear of being judged for being wrong) and the desire for power or certainty as protection from vulnerability [07:00] The desire for specialness: inflating self-esteem through the performance of knowing it all [07:30] Research on narcissism and conspiratorial thinking: conspiracy theories offer the feeling of uniqueness — "I know something you don't" [10:00] Henry: a small pitch for narcissism — a little bit isn't bad; we all want to feel special sometimes; full-blown narcissists wouldn't be listening to this anyway [11:00] The belonging need: we don't have to stand out to belong, but we do need to be seen as worthy of inclusion — so we avoid sticking our neck out and being wrong in front of others [11:30] Social media amplifies this: anything put out publicly can be validated or challenged — rarely challenged without feeling diminished [14:00] The internet requires a new kind of resilience and emotional regulation we haven't trained before in human history — much of which is what Joy Lab works on [15:30] Being wrong is so often worse in our heads than in real life — especially when we're willing to admit it; humility actually strengthens connection [17:30] Henry: when the fear of being wrong tips into clinical anxiety or mood problems — perfectionism creates a downward spiral [18:00] The amygdala hijack: the midbrain can't distinguish between a perceived threat (being wrong in front of others) and a real physical threat — fight or flight activates as though lives are at stake [18:30] How to get out: exposure — practice being wrong in small, safe ways; when your nervous system learns it isn't catastrophic, it recalibrates  [20:30] Good news: we have many opportunities every day to practice being wrong — the more you check in, the more you notice them [21:00] The Experiment for this episode works on getting more comfortable with being wrong   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

Send us Fan MailOn-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe Attachment That's Really Avoidance — Why Closeness Can Feel Like a ThreatWhy Some People Feel Closest When They're Actually Furthest Away DESCRIPTION:What looks like attachment — staying, showing up, saying the right things — can actually be a form of detachment. Many people in relationships with addiction stay closely tied to the routine and the role, while emotionally checking out from the relationship itself.In this video, Gary unpacks the hidden psychology behind this pattern: why intense involvement in a relationship doesn't always mean genuine emotional connection, and how addiction, trauma, and self-protection can produce something that looks like closeness but functions as distance.Gary trained under Thaddeus Birchard, founder of ATSAC (The Association for the Treatment of Sex Addiction and Compulsivity) — the body that shaped how sex and porn addiction is treated clinically in the UK. He works with both addicts and their partners through separate, specialist pathways, trains and supervises other therapists in this field, and hosts The Sex Addiction Podcast (66K+ downloads, 189 episodes).TAGS:Core/broad:attachment vs detachment, relationship psychology, emotional detachment, addiction and relationships, betrayal traumaSpecific/technical:attachment styles, avoidant attachment, emotional unavailability, detachment in relationships, addiction and emotional distanceIntent-based:why do I feel disconnected in my relationship, signs of emotional detachment, why does closeness feel threatening, attachment vs avoidanceCredibility/framework tie-in:trained by Thaddeus Birchard, ATSAC therapist, sex addiction specialist UK, accredited sex addiction therapistLong-tail:why attachment can look like detachment, hidden psychology of emotional distance, addiction and attachment issuesSupport the show

"Success is satisfaction with what you are and have."In this episode of The Quest for Success Podcast, Jam and Dylan Pathirana sit down with Buddhist monk Ven Thalpavila Kusalagnana for a profound conversation on success, happiness, mindfulness, and what it actually means to live a meaningful life.Ven Thalpavila Kusalagnana explores the Buddhist view of gain, loss, praise and blame, and why success should be defined as satisfaction rather than accumulation. He walks us through three ways to understand yourself, mindfulness, virtue and wisdom, and explains the difference between healthy goals and the kind of craving and clinging that leads to suffering. He also addresses a common misconception directly: that Buddhism rejects wealth or success. Instead, he explains the principle of right livelihood, earning and living in an ethical way rather than a harmful one.The conversation moves into some of life's hardest questions. What does it mean to truly understand that everything, our bodies, our minds, our relationships, is temporary? How do you stay steady through the eight worldly conditions of gain and loss, praise and blame, fame and disrepute, pleasure and pain? Ven Thalpavila Kusalagnana offers practical wisdom on fear, failure and authenticity, and speaks candidly about how Buddhist principles intersect with modern mental health challenges, including stress, depression, anxiety and overthinking.He also shares a simple morning practice anyone can start today, guidance on choosing good people, good thoughts and good habits, and how to begin approaching Buddhism as a practical way to overcome suffering, regardless of religious background.This is one of the most reflective and genuinely useful conversations we've had on the show. Sometimes the deepest wisdom is also the simplest.What we cover:The Buddhist view of gain, loss, praise and blameSuccess defined as satisfaction rather than accumulationThree ways to understand yourself: mindfulness, virtue, wisdomHealthy goals versus craving and clingingWealth, lay disciples, and why Buddhism does not reject successRight livelihood and earning in an ethical wayWanting things while accepting their temporary natureThe impermanence of body, mind and relationshipsThe eight worldly conditions and staying steady through changeWhat a good life looks like in BuddhismWhat a trained mind notices that an untrained mind missesA simple morning practice for lay peopleChoosing good people, good thoughts and good habitsFear, failure and being authentic in interviews and workBuddhism, mental health, stress, depression and anxietyOverthinking, OCD, and not feeding unnecessary thoughtsLetting go after breakups and other lossesHow to begin exploring Buddhism and what it means to be a good humanBuddhism as a practical way to overcome sufferingSome of our favourite quotes:"Success is satisfaction with what you are and have." "Being content with your thoughts and actions is success.""Understand that all things are temporary." Chapters:00:00 The Buddhist view of gain, loss, praise, and blame03:02 Success defined as satisfaction rather than accumulation06:26 Three ways to understand yourself: mindfulness, virtue, wisdom08:35 Healthy goals versus craving and clinging10:46 Wealth, lay disciples, and why Buddhism does not reject success12:47 Right livelihood and earning in a harmful versus ethical way15:35 Wanting things while accepting their temporary nature17:15 Impermanence of body, mind, and relationships20:35 The eight worldly conditions and staying steady through change22:04 What a good life looks like in Buddhism25:53 What a trained mind notices that an untrained mind misses30:35 A simple morning practice for lay people33:10 Choosing good people, good thoughts, and good habits34:42 Fear, failure, and being authentic in interviews and work38:13 Buddhism, mental health, stress, depression, and anxiety42:15 Overthinking, OCD, and not feeding unnecessary thoughts44:30 Letting go after breakups and other losses45:48 How to begin Buddhism and what it means to be a good human48:15 Buddhism as a practical way to overcome suffering52:02 The one takeaway: be happy and live in this moment#QuestForSuccess #Buddhism #Mindfulness #Success #Happiness #Contentment #Impermanence #Wisdom #MentalHealth #Spirituality #LifeLessons #Podcast #Inspiration #SriLanka #MeditationFollow us on all your favourite platforms:Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheQuestforSuccessPodFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/The-Quest-For-Success-Podcast/61560418629272/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thequestforsuccesspod/Twitter: https://x.com/quest4success_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-quest-for-successTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thequestforsuccesspodWebsite: www.thequestforsuccesspodcast.com Please share this around to anyone you think will get value from it : )

What does it mean to live faithfully when life feels heavy?Life is a gift, but that doesn't mean it always feels like one. We experience beauty, joy, relationships, and moments of deep meaning alongside anxiety, disappointment, grief, uncertainty, and seasons when simply making it through the day can feel exhausting.In this episode of Doable Discipleship, Jason explores the tension between the burden and the gift of living. Rather than offering easy answers or pretending that faith makes the difficult parts of life disappear, this conversation considers how we can honestly acknowledge the weight we carry while remaining open to the goodness, grace, and presence of God.In this episode, we explore:* Why life can feel like both a burden and a gift* How our faith makes room for the full range of human experience* What to do when anxiety, sadness, or difficulty feel overwhelming* Why acknowledging struggle is different from surrendering to hopelessness* How to recognize goodness even in difficult seasons* What it looks like to receive life as a gift without minimizing its painFollowing Jesus doesn't require us to pretend everything is okay. Instead, we can learn to hold joy and sorrow, beauty and brokenness, gratitude and grief together—and discover that God is present with us in all of it.Doable Discipleship is a podcast produced and hosted by Jason Wieland.Resources Related to This Episode:https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Out-Bed-Burden-Living/dp/1514004437/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0Subscribe to the Doable Discipleship podcast at Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...) or Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/1Zc9nuw...)Intro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Escape From The Town by SHANTIhttps://tunetank.com/track/267-escape...Outro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Peace by VictorWaynehttps://tunetank.com/track/5040-peace/ (00:01) - INTRO (01:42) - Marker 02 (03:26) - INTERVIEW (06:50) - PRAYER (32:31) - Marker 01

Good news! You can build your emotional competence.God designed our brains to run on the fuel of joy, and we have the ability to grow our capacity for joy as long as we live.In this episode, we're in Chapter Three: The Elevator in Your Brain where we look at Jesus Christ as a wonderful example of emotional competence and then unpack the four levels of the Joy Elevator. When these functions are working properly, everything else about how we operate goes more smoothly.So, let us walk you through the Attachment Center, the Assessment Center, the Attunement Center, and the Action/Identity Center in your brain. How does it all flow together and lead to more emotional competence? The goal of this series is to equip you to live and lead with more emotional intelligence and resilience on your walk with God. The book Rare Leadership by Marcus Warner & Jim Wilder combines theology, brain science, and decades of counseling and consulting experience to equip you to cultivate maturity in yourself and others, develop strong group identity, keep relationships bigger than problems, and more! Over the course of this series, we'll be unpacking the four habits of a rare leader: Remain relational. Act like yourself. Return to joy. Endure hardship well. Check out the free discussion guide for this book in the description links.  

It’s time for the GOAT! We revisit Book 3 Change of The Legend of Korra as a whole as we dive into topics like Zaheer’s Ideology, Korrasami build-up in Book 3, and the Avatar as an enforcer for the status quo. Hosts for this podcast: Dylan, Mel, Jeff, & Ben. 0:00 – Podcast Intro 2:00 – Intro to Korra Book 3 4:30 – How was rewatching Book 3? 10:45 – Attachment to Characters/MVP of Book 3 30:00 – Zaheer’s Ideology 1:11:15 – Korra in Book 3 1:25:15 – Korrasami 1:58:15 – Fandom Theories 2:11:40 – Story of a Leak 2:22:10 – Other things from Book 3

In this episode of The Agents of Recovery Coach Blu and Coach Wendell explore the complex dynamics of attachment styles and their impact on relationships, especially in recovery. They discuss how early childhood experiences shape adult behaviors, how attachment styles influence emotional responses, and practical ways to foster secure attachments.Listen as they explore secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful, avoidant attachment styles. They take a deep dive into their own specific understanding of what attachment styles Dave themselves are dealing with in this very real and very intimate conversation.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the episode and guest01:54 The influence of childhood attachment on adult relationships03:50 Understanding anxious attachment and its signs07:03 The role of early bonding and generational trauma10:10 Attachment styles and nervous system responses12:51 Differences between anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles17:05 How past experiences shape current relationship behaviors22:01 Strategies for developing secure attachments28:00 The importance of self-awareness and communication34:04 Practical tips for managing attachment triggers41:06 The ongoing journey of growth and self-discoveryJoin Coach Blu and Team Addict II Athlete and begin your recovery with a tram behind you! Our online addiction and mental health program provides live group sessions with Coach Blu, our weekly Home Base, recovery meeting, therapeutic assignments, and educational information at a fraction of what a therapeutic treatment program would require. Take You Mark, Get Set, Let's Go and click the link below. https://www.skool.com/addict-ii-athlete-5988/about?ref=9090e81114674311874340c02b1095d0Please join Addict to Athlete's Patreon support page and help us turn the mess of addiction into the message of sobriety!https://www.patreon.com/addicttoathletePlease visit our website for more information on Team Addict to Athlete and Addiction Recovery Podcasts.https://www.AddictToAthlete.orgBlu@AddictToAhlete.OrgWendell@AddictToAthlete.Org

In this episode I am once again joined by Leigh Brasington, Buddhist meditation teacher and author of “Right Concentration, A Practical Guide to the Jhanas”. Leigh discusses his new book “Love, Compassion, Joy, Equanimity: The Brahma Viharas – Suttas, Stories, Practices, Hidden Gems” in which he delves into the Pali canon of Buddhist scripture to shed new light on how to understand and practice these potent meditations. Leigh gives detailed descriptions of each of the four brahma viharas. He draws from his decades of teaching experience, as well as scriptural and commentarial literature, to offer his best advice for how to utilise these methods in meditation practice. Leigh reveals how far the brahma viharas can take you towards enlightenment, reflects on the trivialisation of love in today's culture, and I challenge Leigh to retire what I describe as a tired cliché of Western Buddhist pedagogy. … Episode link in bio. Also available on Youtube, iTunes, & Spotify – search ‘Guru Viking Podcast'. … Topics Include: 00:00 - Intro 01:05 - Why Leigh wrote the book 05:50 - How far towards enlightenment can brahma vihara practice take you? 08:54 - Entering the jhanas with the brahma vhiaras 11:48 - Defining “brahma vihara” 13:41 - Paucity of sutta evidence to link the four attitudes with the term “brahma vihara” 14:12 - The Buddha did not invent the brahma viharas 16:43 - Using phrases is a much later development 18:14 - The pervading practice 19:51 - Ayya Khema's metta practice method 22:32 - Steve's brahma vihara story 25:46 - Real or fake? 28:19 - Brahma vihara as antidote practice 32:25 - Steve challenges Leigh on mudita claims 37:17 - Suttas do not teach mudita as appreciative joy 37:44 - Leigh's disappointment in the English language 39:25 - How to practice appreciative joy 40:43 - Can we retire the cliche? 42:30 - Does the West lack the concept of appreciative joy? 44:13 - Metta, unconditional love 47:27 - Problems with “unconditional love” 47:54 - Trivialisation of love 50:34 - Attachment vs love 53:07 - How to practice metta in daily life 56:43 - How metta reduces personal suffering 59:17 - Less thinking, more loving 01:03:25 - Late night reading and being a night owl 01:04:15 - Karuna, compassion and kindness 01:07:42 - Compassion is active 01:10:40 - Do gooders and dumb compassion 01:14:52 - Compassion burnout 01:20:01 - Does compassion need results? 01:21:16 - Ambiguity of sickness 01:22:56 - Upekkha, equanimity 01:25:28 - Leigh's stories of equanimity 01:32:54 - Equanimity vs apathy 01:36:14 - States, traits, and the equanimity range 01:39:12 - Antidote to freak out 01:43:32 - Bias and practicing equanimity with political enemies 01:45:47 - Exchanging self and other and reducing self clinging 01:49:10 - Will brahma vihara lead you to enlightenment? 01:54:17 - Leigh's mahasiddha story 01:55:49 - The beauty of the metta sutta 01:57:40 - Leigh reads the metta sutta … Previous episodes with Leigh Brasington: - https://www.guruviking.com/search?q=brasington To find our more about Leigh Brasington visit: - http://www.leighb.com/ For more interviews, videos, and more visit: - https://www.guruviking.com Music ‘Deva Dasi' by Steve James

A practitioner in Florida, USA examines the problem of becoming sleepy and understands it to be interference born of attachments to comfort and an addiction to watching videos on her mobile device. Upon deeper introspection she finds it imperative to improve her xinxing, or moral character, in order to move past these challenges. This and […]

Summary Jayla and Shaye explore the challenges of changing habits, the programming of our beliefs, and how environment influences transformation. They share personal stories, insights from experts, and practical tips for embracing change and living authentically. Keywords habit change, behavior, transformation, environment, mindset, self-improvement, programming, confidence, fear, growth  Key  topics The difficulty of changing habits due to deep programming The role of environment and surroundings in supporting change The importance of self-compassion and giving oneself grace during transformation The impact of belief systems and labels on behavior Strategies for building confidence and reducing fear in new endeavors The concept of attachment to self-improvement and analysis paralysis The influence of social environment and community on growth Practical tips for embracing change and living authentically Takeaways Change is hard because it requires reprogramming deeply ingrained beliefs. Surrounding yourself with supportive environments and people accelerates transformation. Giving yourself grace and empathy is crucial during the change process. Belief systems and labels can limit or support your growth. Confidence grows as fear diminishes through evidence and experience. Attachment to self-improvement can become a barrier to living fully. Seeking out environments with like-minded people fosters growth. Progress involves giving up parts of your old identity and story.  sound bites 00:00 Introduction and personal updates 347:12:23 Shopping, fashion, and fall vibes 6305:32:29 Online estate sales and vintage finds 9999:59:15 Weekend trip to Canton and soccer tournament 14944:26:08 Chile's fruits and avocados 16527:46:11 Introduction to Carol Meese and behavioral change 18666:39:36 The programming of beliefs from childhood 20083:19:38 The challenge of transforming deeply ingrained habits 21527:46:20 The importance of environment and surrounding support 23722:13:02 The power of community and big picture thinking 24916:39:44 Next steps for personal growth and podcast expansion 26444:26:27 Transformation requires giving up parts of your identity 28083:19:48 Supporting children in healthy habits and choices 29999:59:50 The role of social environment in change 31555:33:10 The difficulty and necessity of giving oneself grace 33166:39:51 The danger of attachment to self-improvement 34777:46:34 Living and trusting your inner instincts 36333:19:55 Building confidence through evidence and experience 38694:26:38 Seeking out environments with like-minded people 40277:46:40 Closing thoughts and encouragement to embrace change

Professor Jeremy Holmes — a clinician, author, leading Attachment expert and four time speaker at The Weekend University. In this interview, we discuss the fascinating science of attachment theory, and how it can be applied to enhance therapeutic practice, including: — The “dodo bird” verdict in psychotherapy — The concept of the secure base and the extent to which it remains flexible throughout the lifespan — How the relationship between caregivers and infants in early life influences attachment styles in later years. And more. You can learn more about Professor Holmes' work and books by going to: bit.ly/jh-books --- Professor Jeremy Holmes is a clinician, author, leading Attachment expert, and three-time speaker at The Weekend University. For 35 years, he was Consultant Psychiatrist/Medical Psychotherapist at University College London (UCL) and then in North Devon, UK, and Chair of the Psychotherapy Faculty of the Royal College of Psychiatrists 1998-2002. He is visiting Professor at the University of Exeter, and lectures nationally and internationally. In addition to 200+ peer-reviewed papers and chapters in the field of psychoanalysis and attachment theory, his books include John Bowlby and Attachment Theory, Exploring In Security, Attachment in Therapeutic Practice, and most recently: “The Brain has a Mind of Its Own”. He was the recipient of the Bowlby-Ainsworth Founders Award 2009. --- 3 Books Professor Jeremy Holmes Recommends Every Therapist Should Read: — Attachment in Adults - Mario Mikulincer and Phillip Shaver - https://amzn.to/3VwsZ1G — The Role of Mentalizing and Epistemic Trust in the Therapeutic Relationship - Peter Fonagy and Elizabeth Allison - https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2014-14624-001 — Attachment in Therapeutic Practice - Prof. Jeremy Holmes and Arietta Slade - https://amzn.to/3IT0zYw

Summary Jayla and Shaye explore the challenges of changing habits, the programming of our beliefs, and how environment influences transformation. They share personal stories, insights from experts, and practical tips for embracing change and living authentically. Keywords habit change, behavior, transformation, environment, mindset, self-improvement, programming, confidence, fear, growth  Key  topics The difficulty of changing habits due to deep programming The role of environment and surroundings in supporting change The importance of self-compassion and giving oneself grace during transformation The impact of belief systems and labels on behavior Strategies for building confidence and reducing fear in new endeavors The concept of attachment to self-improvement and analysis paralysis The influence of social environment and community on growth Practical tips for embracing change and living authentically Takeaways Change is hard because it requires reprogramming deeply ingrained beliefs. Surrounding yourself with supportive environments and people accelerates transformation. Giving yourself grace and empathy is crucial during the change process. Belief systems and labels can limit or support your growth. Confidence grows as fear diminishes through evidence and experience. Attachment to self-improvement can become a barrier to living fully. Seeking out environments with like-minded people fosters growth. Progress involves giving up parts of your old identity and story.  sound bites 00:00 Introduction and personal updates 347:12:23 Shopping, fashion, and fall vibes 6305:32:29 Online estate sales and vintage finds 9999:59:15 Weekend trip to Canton and soccer tournament 14944:26:08 Chile's fruits and avocados 16527:46:11 Introduction to Carol Meese and behavioral change 18666:39:36 The programming of beliefs from childhood 20083:19:38 The challenge of transforming deeply ingrained habits 21527:46:20 The importance of environment and surrounding support 23722:13:02 The power of community and big picture thinking 24916:39:44 Next steps for personal growth and podcast expansion 26444:26:27 Transformation requires giving up parts of your identity 28083:19:48 Supporting children in healthy habits and choices 29999:59:50 The role of social environment in change 31555:33:10 The difficulty and necessity of giving oneself grace 33166:39:51 The danger of attachment to self-improvement 34777:46:34 Living and trusting your inner instincts 36333:19:55 Building confidence through evidence and experience 38694:26:38 Seeking out environments with like-minded people 40277:46:40 Closing thoughts and encouragement to embrace change

Do you feel like you have to prove your worth through the shear amount of work you do or prove your value by making sure you're seen as busy, always hustling, and super productive? Do you feel burned out, overwhelmed with work, or simply feeling that you're just doing too much? If so, this is the "doing enough" episode, and we hope you come away acknowledging that you're wired to do enough (often more than enough) and that the pressure to do more is something we layer on top of that natural wiring, and it is likely more harmful than good. We'll dig into perfectionism and how it can push us into doing too much and its association with anxiety and depression. We'll also explore more of the burnout research and how perfectionism and the myth of productivity are related to burnout. Importantly, we'll talk about some practical strategies to help you identify what might be driving you to do too much and how you can soften your expectations. Additionally, feeling burned out and overwhelmed with work can have less to do with the amount of work you're doing and more to do with the lack of support from your employer and other key factors related to burnout. This is that canary in the coal mine phenomenon. If you can relate to that, we also have some strategies to consider.     About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible)   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes: Ep. 223: Breaking Free From Pathological Productivity  Ep. 206: Time Poverty & Busyness: Too Busy to Be Well  Ep. 201: Balance Perfectionism & Do-Too-Muchism Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406  Sonnetag, S., & Fritz, C. (2014). Recovery from job stress: The stressor-detachment model as an integrative framework. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.1924 Tricia Hersey's website Lynn Twist's Book: The Soul of Money   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I feel guilty or anxious when I'm not being productive, even when I know I need a break? A: We are naturally wired to engage and do, and then we layer on extra expectations, perfectionism, and the belief that our worth is tied to visible busyness. It's essential to first bring awareness to what's driving us to do more than enough. This episode offers strategies for that mindful awareness and ways to come back into more balance.     Q: Is burnout really just about working too many hours, or is there something deeper going on? A: Dr. Christina Maslach's six-factor burnout model shows that most of what drives burnout has nothing to do with logged hours. Lack of control, insufficient rewards, breakdown of community, absence of fairness, and value conflicts are additional factors. This episode explains how we have to look at the big picture (rather than just blaming ourselves) to create real change.     Key moments: [00:00] Welcome — Enoughness Ep 3: doing enough [00:30] The two-week vacation thought experiment: what comes up in your body when you imagine truly stepping away? [01:00] Itching to check email just in case, guilt about doing nothing, loss without a to-do list — all very normal, and worth examining [01:30] We are already wired to do enough — the pressure to do more is something we layer on top of that natural drive [02:00] We attach our doing to our worth, and to what others can see: always busy, always achieving, always on [03:00] Henry: email changed everything — from 9-to-5 availability to always-on; the inbox that empties for 10 minutes and then refills [04:30] Text messaging took it further — the expected response speed keeps accelerating. The result: a state of constant alertness, constantly scanning for something important, hard to resist the impulse to check [05:30] We've trained ourselves to react immediately to the relentless drumbeat of more — mindfulness emphasizes being over doing, but there's so much pulling against it [06:30] 150 years ago, news took weeks to cross the country by horse, ship, or foot — always-on is entirely new territory for our nervous systems. We apologize for a three-day email delay — when it would have taken six weeks round-trip to even get the apology back [07:30] Recap of Hewitt and Flett's three perfectionism types; self-oriented perfectionism connects most directly to "doing enough" [08:00] Even self-oriented perfectionism doesn't operate in a vacuum — we write stories about how others are judging our response times [09:30] Henry: perfectionism usually starts in childhood — good report card means a parent is proud; fitting in becomes the price of admission to belonging; We internalize: "I am worthy if I accomplish enough; if I perform well enough; if I don't fail" [10:30] Perfectionism is a losing game because the standard always moves — there's always another rung on the ladder [11:00] Did high achievers get there because of perfectionism? The evidence says they likely got there in spite of it [11:30] 2018 meta-analysis: "Is Perfect Good?" — teases apart excellence-seeking vs. failure-avoiding perfectionism [12:00] Excellence-seeking: weak, inconsistent relationship with performance — small effect with many disclaimers [12:30] Failure-avoiding: did not predict improvements in performance; 2025 Bellam et al. meta-analysis: overall relationship inconclusive [13:00] What perfectionism does predict: moderate-to-large associations with anxiety, depression, and burnout [13:30] You can strive for greatness, have high expectations, work really hard — and that is very different from believing your worth is at stake if you don't hit perfect [14:00] Henry: perfectionism predicts suffering, not performance — reviewing your work at midnight for the third time out of terror is not diligence; it's hurting yourself [14:30] Aimee: doing enough is enough — this is not about shirking responsibility; personal drive and responsibility can exist without perfectionism [15:30] Dr. Christina Maslach's six factors of burnout: work overload, lack of control, insufficient rewards, breakdown of community, absence of fairness, value conflicts [16:00] Most of burnout has nothing to do with logged hours — the other five factors point to things much deeper [16:30] The canary-in-a-coal-mine analogy: if the bird stops singing, it's not because the bird isn't resilient enough; it's a sign something is wrong with the mine [17:00] We are the canaries — and we need to ask: what is happening in the mine? Does it ignore the conditions and just tell you to fly faster? [17:30] The most toxic mines are built from feelings of not being enough — and some of those mines were built for us and we're expected to fly in them anyway [18:30] Henry: the canary doesn't belong in a coal mine; we've built a toxic personal mine where worth is entirely dependent on what we produce or achieve [19:00] The solution isn't to make yourself stronger or tougher — it's to change the mine, or get out of it [19:30] Psychological detachment: Sonnentag and Fritz research — people who mentally detach during off-hours report less exhaustion and more energy the next day [20:00] Being physically home but mentally rehearsing tomorrow's problems means you don't get restored the same way — the Experiment will work with this [20:30] Rest is your right and your biological need — in a culture of side hustles, grindsets, and constant optimization, it is essential [21:00] Tricia Hersey, "The Nap Bishop": "Rest is resistance" — it's what will fight some of those toxic mines [21:30] Henry: choosing to rest is choosing to say "my worth isn't measured by what I produce; I'm enough even when I'm doing nothing" [21:45] "Sometimes I sits and think, and sometimes I just sits" — sometimes putting it in simple terms is exactly what's needed [22:00] Head to JoyLab.coach to access the Experiments — this week's works on psychological detachment and sitting [22:30] Closing wisdom from Tricia Hersey: "Rest is not a reward or luxury reserved for those who make a certain amount of money. Rest is a right. Rest is our divine right, and no capitalist agenda can have access to it."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

What if one of the most beloved songs in American music is also a remarkably precise psychological portrait of childhood shame? For the closing chapter of The Songs That Made Us, Gunter turns to Dolly Parton's deeply personal “Coat of Many Colors”—a song born from poverty, childhood humiliation, a mother's love and one little girl's attempt to understand why something she treasured became a reason for others to ridicule her.At its heart is a powerful psychological distinction:The coat wasn't what created the shame. The schoolyard did.Through Dolly's childhood story, Gunter explores the social psychology of humiliation, attachment, memory and what happens when children begin seeing themselves through the judgments of others.But Dolly's story contains something else.Before she ever enters that schoolyard, her mother gives the coat meaning.Through storytelling, love and reassurance, something created from material deprivation becomes an object of pride.Psychologically, that act resembles reappraisal and co-regulation—a parent helping a child interpret an experience in a way that can protect their developing sense of self.It doesn't prevent the humiliation that follows.But it gives Dolly another story about who she is.The episode examines the important separation between poverty and shame. Material deprivation is one experience. Being taught by other people that your circumstances make you less worthy is another.And childhood shame can linger precisely because it is social. We learn something about ourselves by watching how other people respond to us.Yet Coat of Many Colors ultimately demonstrates another extraordinary human ability:We can retell the story.Dolly transformed an experience of childhood humiliation into music. The music became recognition for millions of people. And a deeply personal memory became part of a much larger cultural legacy. Perhaps that is one reason the song has endured.It doesn't simply tell us what happened to Dolly Parton. It gives language to something many people have lived themselves.Key TopicsDolly Parton and the story behind Coat of Many ColorsChildhood poverty, shame and humiliationWhy deprivation and shame are different psychological injuriesAttachment and the protective role of parental reassuranceReappraisal and co-regulationThe social psychology of the schoolyardThe “looking-glass self” and how children internalize others' judgmentsChildhood experiences and adult identityStorytelling as a way of transforming painful memoriesHow personal experience becomes cultural legacyWhy recognition gives certain songs extraordinary staying powerChapter HighlightsIntroduction: Coat of Many Colors and Its SignificanceThe Song's History and Original RecordingDolly Parton's Childhood and the Story Behind the CoatChildhood Shame, Attachment and IdentityHumiliation and the Looking-Glass SelfReappraisal, Co-Regulation and Emotional ResilienceTransforming Personal Stories into Cultural LegacyWhy Coat of Many Colors Continues to EndureObjects, Shame and Changing the NarrativeClosing Reflections and Mental HealthGratitudeWe want to extend a huge thank you to our listeners in Denver for bringing Colorado up to #10 on the Top 10 USA listeners list. And to our Global Listeners, we extend our gratitude to our listeners in Beirut for bringing Lebanon to #20 for the very first time! And to our listeners in Modena for pushing Italy to #19! CONGRATULATIONS!! you made the Top Listeners List.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/inspire-change-with-gunter--3633478/support.PatreonIf this episode resonates with you and you'd like to go deeper into practical exercises and guided reflection, Gunter offers extended self-development resources and exercises through our Patreon community: www.patreon.com/inspirechangeSponsorDistil UnionThis episode of Inspire Change with Gunter is brought to you by Distil Union, creators of beautifully designed, functional everyday carry accessories that help bring organization, simplicity, and intention into your daily life.Distil Union blends craftsmanship with thoughtful design to help you carry what matters most — without the clutter.

There's a question at the heart of the new book “Delighting in Jesus” that caught my attention: it says, “I know I should read by Bible and pray every day, but I'm just not consistent. For many Christians, ‘daily devotions' and ‘spiritual disciplines' strike guilt and shame in our hearts. But what if we got it all wrong? What if our Christian experience hinges not on perfect spiritual disciplines, but on the perfect love of a Father who delights in us?”  This has been a topic I've been interested in for a while now: what does relationship with Jesus really mean. And now there's a new word entering the conversation: delight. We often talk about joy or happiness, but I'm so grateful to my guest today, Asheritah Ciuciu, for focusing in on the word delight. Asheritah is the host of the Prayers of Rest Podcast and author of many books including Full, Bible & Breakfast, Walking with God, and her latest, Delighting in Jesus. In this conversation, Asheritah and I talk about why “delight” is an important word when thinking about our relationship with Jesus, why we don't need to be afraid of being broken, how to build your joy center in your brain, and much more. I want to note too, in the show notes for episode you'll find links to purchase Delighting in Jesus (which I highly recommend) and also a link to a devotional personality quiz that will help you understand better how God created you to feel most connected to him. I hope you enjoy both of these resources.Doable Discipleship is a podcast produced and hosted by Jason Wieland. Resources Related to This Episode:https://www.asheritah.com/https://www.delightinginjesus.com/Devotional Personality Quiz - https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/65654f1a7d4c35001488e815Subscribe to the Doable Discipleship podcast at Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...) or Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/1Zc9nuw...)Intro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Escape From The Town by SHANTIhttps://tunetank.com/track/267-escape...Outro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Peace by VictorWaynehttps://tunetank.com/track/5040-peace/ (00:01) - INTRO (01:42) - Marker 02 (03:26) - INTERVIEW (06:50) - PRAYER (32:31) - Marker 01

Fear isn't the enemy.It's trying to protect you.But what happens when the danger is no longer in front of you and your mind or body is still responding as if it is?In Part 2 of HeatherAsh Amara's conversation with Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., they dive into his newest book, The Poisoned Arrow, and the personal experiences that transformed it from an intellectual exploration of fear into something much more intimate.While writing the book, Miguel was navigating an extraordinarily difficult season with his autistic son, caregiver fatigue, a concussion, and eventually his own experience with PTSD. Those experiences changed the way he understood fear and what it means to heal.Miguel shares a powerful distinction between real fear, irrational fear, and PTSD. Real fear lives in the body and responds to an immediate threat. Irrational fear begins when the mind projects its "what ifs" into the future and responds as though those imagined dangers are already happening. And trauma can leave the nervous system responding to a danger that has already passed.The answer isn't to become fearless.It's to learn how to recognize fear, respect what it's trying to do, and stop using it against ourselves.This conversation explores what becomes possible when we stop judging ourselves for being afraid, give ourselves permission to heal, and slowly rebuild the trust that allows us to move forward.In This EpisodeThe personal experiences that transformedThe Poisoned Arrowwhile Miguel was writing itWhy the function of fear is to protect us, not control usThe difference between real fear and the fears created by our mindsHow our "what ifs" can keep the body responding to dangers that aren't actually happeningMiguel's experience recognizing PTSD in his own nervous systemWhy acknowledging fear can give us more choice in how we respond to itHow shame and judgment can become barriers to healingWhy rebuilding trust in ourselves is essential for moving out of "freeze"What it means to respect fear without letting it run our livesMentioned in This EpisodeThe Poisoned Arrowby Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.The Five Levels of Attachmentby Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.The Mastery of Selfby Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.The Mastery of Lifeby Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationshipsby Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. and HeatherAsh AmaraAbout Don Miguel RuizDon Miguel Ruiz Jr. is a Toltec Master of Transformation, speaker, and author of The Mastery of Self, The Five Levels of Attachment, co-author of The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships, and The Mastery of Life.Raised in the Toltec lineage by his father, don Miguel Ruiz, and grandmother, Sarita, Miguel Jr. has spent his life integrating the deep spiritual teachings of his ancestors with practical tools for awakening.He speaks around the world, helping people break free of illusion and live from the heart.

Love gives freedom. Attachment demands reassurance. Love sees the other person as they truly are. Attachment sees what they provide. Love can grieve and still let go. Attachment clings because letting go feels like losing part of oneself. The question is, "Can I care for them without needing to possess, control, or change them?"  

Toto je zkrácená verze (98 min). Celý díl (160 min) a bez reklam jen za 100,-/měsíc si můžeš pustit⁠ ⁠⁠zde a odemknou další⁠⁠: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2oUO32EpsQIMQRC6Ynpa6e?si=3279826f175e48daHonzu s námi můžete vidět live na našem Brain We Are Mini festu už 8.10.! Lístek a víc info k eventu ⁠tady⁠: ⁠https://goout.net/cs/brain-we-are-laska-and-zivotni-transformace-honza-vojtko-and-kasia-korda/szgxemy/⁠Co je vlastně láska, když ji přestaneme redukovat na zamilovanost a romantický vztah? S Honzou Vojtkem jdeme od evoluční funkce lásky přes bezpečí, blízkost a zranitelnost až k tomu, proč jsme na jednoho partnera naložili role, které dřív zastávala celá komunita. Mluvíme o přátelství, samotě, sexu, důvěře, autonomii i o tom, proč zdravý vztah nemusí být vztah bez bolesti.Ve druhé části jdeme hluboko do attachmentu. Jak se raná zkušenost s bezpečím propisuje do dospělých vztahů, kdy se naše vazebné strategie skutečně projeví a proč nejsou definitivním rozsudkem. Honza ukazuje, že vztahy mohou být korektivní zkušeností, partner ale nemá být terapeutem. A končíme možná nejjednodušší otázkou celého dílu: kde všude ve svém životě máme lásku, aniž bychom ji tak vůbec pojmenovávali?Parťáci Epizody:Magniflex.cz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Máme velkou radost, že jsme narazili na celosvětově patentované velmi kvalitní matrace od italské značky Magniflex. Magniflex je dělají z těch nejkvalitnějších materiálů a spolupracují s odborníky na biomechaniku a lékaři. Navíc mají nadstandartně dlouhou záruku proti proležení a to až 12 let. Já mám konkrétně matraci magnistretch s patentovanou technologií, která dokáže tělo při tlaku na ní trošičku protahovat a nemůžu si jí vynachválit. Tak jdi na ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Magniflex.cz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ a udělej další krok ke kvalitnějšímu spánku a zdraví s Magniflexem.Nakladatelství Audiolibrix V Brain We Are si uvědomujeme, jak je důležité to, čemu věnujeme pozornost. No a čím máme kvalitnější infromační dealery, tím lepší. Proto jsme vybrali ty nejzajímavější tituly, které už roky čteme a ke kterým se vracíme. Najdeš je tady: https://nakladatelstvi.audiolibrix.cz/brainweare/Použij kód BWA20 přímo v košíku a dostaneš 20% slevu!Kam dále?⁠⁠Uplife.cz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ -Zadej kód "BWA" pro slevu 10% na vybrané zboží na eshopu ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.uplife.cz/brain-we-are/⁠⁠Zadej kód "BWA" pro slevu 10% na vybrané zboží na eshopu ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠uplife.cz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠herbal-store.cz⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Sledujte Brain We Are na sociálních sítích: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ( ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/brain_we_are⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ) nebo⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Facebook⁠Minutáž:00:00 Úvod03:04 Význam tetování Ganéši09:34 Proč vznikla kniha o lásce?25:39 Je láska základní lidskou potřebou?36:25 Zranitelnost a budování důvěry39:26 Neexistuje pouze romantická láska49:16 Past pseudoseberozvoje a tlaku na výkon01:00:02 Režim vlastnění vs. režim bytí01:06:25 Mýty o sebelásce a sebepoznání01:13:00 Vztahová křehkost současné společnosti01:17:55 Proč bychom měli milovat své přátele?01:26:12 Tajemství jako klíčový základ vztahu01:32:01 Pět hlavních zdrojů psychické odolnosti01:44:24 Chalíl Džibrán: Úryvek o lásce01:48:52 Autorské básně z Potetované duše01:51:12 Mikroerotická rozhodnutí a hloubka prožitku01:52:30 Sartre, de Beauvoir a svoboda ve vztahu02:05:10 Teorie citové vazby (Attachment styles)02:23:28 Jak poznat, kdy odejít a kdy zůstat?02:34:52 Proč je tak těžké říct si o pomoc?02:39:42 Závěrečná výzva posluchačům

Something new is in the works at Dr. Sarah Hensley Relationship Coaching Services—and in this episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley and Raina are giving you the first sneak peek. For months, the team has been developing a new project designed to take Dr. Hensley's relationship coaching and attachment science to an entirely new level.We can't reveal everything just yet, but here's what we can share.Imagine having Dr. Hensley's coaching framework and relationship tools in one place—along with the ability to assess your attachment patterns using scientifically grounded data, track your own progress over time, and even begin measuring changes within your relationship and partner dynamic.Instead of another online attachment style “quiz” that gives you a label and sends you on your way, this project is being built around real relationship science, measurable progress, and actual behavior change. In this episode, Dr. Hensley and Raina pull back the curtain on: • The new project currently being developed behind the scenes• Why Dr. Hensley wanted to create something beyond traditional attachment quizzes• How attachment and relationship progress could actually be measured over time• The possibility of tracking progress for both you and your partner• How Dr. Hensley's coaching program and tools will fit into the experience• The bigger vision for where relationship coaching—and relationship science—could go nextThere's still a lot we can't share yet. But this is your first look at what's coming next.Subscribe to The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show to follow the project as it develops and be among the first to hear what's coming.Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today's world. For more information on Dr. Hensley's offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShowDr. Hensley's Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coachingIndividual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.Purchase Dr. Hensley's online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensleyFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

Si te has preguntado si lo que sientes es amor, apego o dependencia emocional, hablarlo con un profesional puede ayudarte a entenderlo mejor. ❤️‍

Episode 16: When Attachment Gets Activated Self-Regulation, Co-Regulation, External Regulation & the Ways We Seek Safety What happens to us when a relationship suddenly feels uncertain, disconnected, or unsafe? Some of us move closer. We want to talk, understand, repair, reconnect, and receive reassurance. Others move away. We need silence, distance, independence, or space before we can feel settled again. And some of us move back and forth between the two. In Episode 16 of What We Were Never Taught, Dr. Daniel van Ingen explores what happens when our attachment system becomes activated and how our attachment tendencies influence the ways we try to regulate ourselves. Rather than treating attachment styles as fixed categories, this episode looks at anxious, dismissive-avoidant, fearful-avoidant, and secure patterns as tendencies that can emerge differently depending on the person, relationship, circumstances, and level of emotional activation. The episode also explores an important distinction between self-regulation, co-regulation, and external regulation. Healthy relationships allow us to receive comfort, reassurance, and connection from another person without making that person entirely responsible for our emotional stability. At the same time, someone who seeks distance when overwhelmed may not care or love any less than someone who seeks closeness. Distance and proximity can both become strategies the nervous system uses in an attempt to regain safety. When one person regulates through closeness and another regulates through distance, relationships can easily fall into a painful pursuit-withdrawal cycle. The more one person reaches, the more the other retreats; the more the other retreats, the more urgently the first person reaches. Understanding these patterns gives us a different question to ask. Instead of simply wondering, What is my attachment style?, we can begin asking: What does my nervous system ask me to do when my attachment system becomes activated? Because secure attachment doesn't mean never becoming activated. It means developing greater freedom in what we do once we are.

A couple of beers, one old song, and suddenly I'm right back in the headspace that kicked off Manchester Madness.But before I even set foot in the UK, there's a pretty big blind spot in this story that I need to own. This isn't just my story. It's also the story of a woman who got pulled into the chaos of my untreated, untamed Borderline Personality Disorder — and wore far more of the emotional fallout than anyone should have had to carry.I rewind to the lead-up to my student exchange, the Manchester Metropolitan University group chat, and the bigger, louder version of myself I started creating online. Then a psychology student goes from being “someone interesting” to, somehow, “the one”, before we'd even met.Looking back, the warning signs were everywhere: idealisation, obsession disguised as purpose, intense attachment and a desperate need for connection that I simply didn't understand at the time.I also unpack what BPD felt like from the inside, while being brutally honest about some of the more cringe-inducing parts of this story. Because if I'm going to tell Manchester Madness properly, I can't polish the uncomfortable bits or pretend my mental health only affected me.This is where the story really begins.--Follow The Dysregulated Podcast: Instagram – @elliot.t.waters Facebook – The Dysregulated Podcast YouTube – The Dysregulated Podcast (Official Channel)Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience. Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.

In this episode, spiritual director John Bruna offers a clear presentation of antidotes to the five hindrances to shamatha meditation and our path of awakening. He speaks specifically to cultivating love and appreciation rather than attachment, as well as some key antidotes to deluded doubt, which is a tricky stumbling block on our path. This episode was recorded on August 19th, 2026.Welcome to the Way of Compassion Dharma Center Podcast. Located in Carbondale, Colorado, the Way of Compassion Dharma center's primary objective is to provide programs of Buddhist studies and practices that are practical, accessible, and meet the needs of the communities we serve.  As a traditional Buddhist center, all of our teachings are offered freely. If you would like to make a donation to support the center, please visit www.wocdc.org.  May you flourish in your practice and may all beings swiftly be free of suffering.

Many men and women today feel existentially isolated and alone, even if they're surrounded by loving people. Attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith has been seeing this problem grow for years, and today he shares 4 steps to build vibrant, secure attachment with ourselves, others, and God to bring meaning and joy back to our lives. Link to Adam's website: https://adamlanesmith.com/NEW: Check out our Merch store! https://shop.lilaroseshow.com/Join our new Patreon community! https://patreon.com/lilaroseshow - We'll have BTS footage, ad-free episodes, and early access to our upcoming guests.A big thanks to our partner, EWTN, the world's leading religious network! Discover news, entertainment and more at https://www.ewtn.com/ Check out our Sponsors:-EveryLife Women: https://www.everylife.com/lila Buy diapers and women's health products from an amazing company and use code LILA10 to get 10% off!-Seven Weeks Coffee: https://www.sevenweekscoffee.com Buy your pro-life coffee and Save up to 25% with promo code 'LILA' & get a free gift: http://www.sevenweekscoffee.com-Presidio Healthcare: Healthcare and doctors who share your values. Visit: https://www.presidiocare.com/lila -We Heart Nutrition: https://www.weheartnutrition.com/ Get high quality vitamin supplements for 20% off using the code LILA.

Tonight's thesis is blunt. Your relationship history is not private weather. It is the visible record of what your bloodline refused to say and what your spirit agreed to forget in order to have a local life. The person you kept meeting may have arrived because a purpose your people never finished living had no other door. That claim is not a sky-contract. It is a test. Psychology already knows the mechanism. Attachment sequences repeat with a fidelity that feels like fate. Pair-bonding research can call the first shock “recognition” while it is only a template match. Epigenetics can load stress into a body that then hunts a familiar face. None of that cancels the older maps. Yoruba thought names an inner head that outranks the shrine. Bohm names an undivided movement that unfolds as you and as them. Hawkins names degrees of forgetting so a mouth can say God while the life still runs on fear. John 10 and Psalm 82 warn that a word can reach you and you can still walk dark. So the hour does not ask whether love is real. It asks who chose. The adult with a name. The Sunday silence behind that name. The aperture that knelt before it had a biography. If the Source is one field, it does not need your romance to learn a missing fact. It needs a body long enough to fail, repeat, and notice. Earth supplies duration. Duration supplies history. History supplies a partner who makes the unspoken stand up and demand a reply. Count the faces. Name the assignment the line dropped. Say whether that lover recovered it or helped you bury it in better language. The hearer can break what the word cannot. That gap is why a world exists, and why this history will not stay quiet.

Have you been in a misogynistic relationship for years without ever naming it?You might have called it a difficult marriage, a controlling husband, a spiteful partner or "just a complicated dynamic." Maybe you're only now able to say the word misogyny out loud. If so, this episode is for you.What most people don't realize is that the recent rise in misogyny didn't start with an election or a headline. Researchers tracked the pattern building for nearly two years before it reached the mainstream — quietly moving into ordinary marriages long before anyone had a name for it.In this solo episode, I walk through the rise in misogyny, why your nervous system chooses the partners it chooses, and the specific steps that support healing afterward.You'll learn:Why the rise in misogyny didn't start with a headline — and how long researchers tracked the pattern before it went mainstreamHow childhood trauma and old attachment wounds teach your nervous system what to accept in a partner, long before you ever meet themHow early conditioning determines who you choose as a partnerWhat happens in your body during the fawn response — and why it develops as a survival strategyHow psychological abuse predicts PTSD more often than physical abuse, based on the researchWhy boundary setting can start with something as small as rescheduling a dinner when you're tiredHow body awareness practices — a hand on your chest, noticing your feet on the floor — help regulate the nervous system after it activatesWhat parts work, or Internal Family Systems, reveals about the specific roles different parts of you took on to keep you safeThe difference between your essential self and your social self, and how to find your way back to who you were meant to beHow self-trust rebuilds through small, repeated actions — like saying a true statement in a low-stakes conversationIf you're looking for more self-trust, want to find your essential self, or are working through trauma and divorce recovery, this conversation walks you through the rise in misogyny, why you chose the partner you chose, and what it takes to heal — starting with your own nervous system.Much love and freedom,LaurieFree ResourcesClick here to schedule a FREE inquiry call with me.Click here for my FREE “Beginner's Guide to Somatic Healing”Click here for my FREE Core Values ExerciseWant to try somatic work for free? Download my somatic exercises on Insight Timer and start reconnecting with your body today.Connect with me:If you're local to the South Bay, join me at Harmony Yoga in Hermosa Beach for a four-week somatic and yoga course — Thursday evenings from 6:30 to 8 p.m. starting September 3rd.Click here to purchase my “Nervous System Regulation Starter Kit” it's $29.99Click here to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting GoWebsiteInstagramSubstackRevisit my past conversations with Kate:Listen to part one of my conversation with Kate on The Divorce Survival Guide podcast here.Episode 228Is it Time to Leave: How do I know if Divorce is the right choice for meFeel Safe Again in Love: How Somatic Healing Supports Secure RelationshipsPlease leave me feedback. I cannot respond so if you'd like me to respond, please leave your email***********************DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

How phones, social media, and texting culture reshape (or distort) attachment behaviors. How are romantic, platonic, and work relationships impacted? How does it impact intimacy and feelings of abandonment or dismissal? How can we use technology in ways that don't trigger our attachment wounds or create new ones?

What if love doesn't require attachment? What if grief doesn't have to become suffering? And what if discernment—not judgment—is what actually protects our peace? In this episode of Coffee with John & Joni, John English and Joni Lerner respond to a thoughtful listener question about several powerful Toltec concepts before diving deeply into Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements. Together, they explore: • Attachment vs. Love — the difference between unconditional love and the expectations, conditions, and stories we attach to relationships. • Suffering vs. Grief — how grief can become an expression of how deeply we love rather than another story about what has happened to us. • Judgment vs. Discernment — moving away from making people or situations "good" or "bad" and instead asking a much more useful question: Do I want this in my life? Then John and Joni unpack the Four Agreements: Don't Take Anything Personally Other people do what they do for their own reasons. Their projections don't have to become our reality. Don't Make Assumptions Our minds create stories based on our filters and beliefs. What happens when we stop pretending we know how things will turn out? Be Impeccable With Your Word The words we speak to others—and the words we speak to ourselves—have power. What would change if we became kinder to our own internal dialogue? Always Do Your Best Your best changes from day to day. Letting go of perfectionism and simply showing up fully can free us from the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" cycle. At the heart of this conversation is a simple but powerful invitation: Stop. Look. Choose. Pause. Become aware of what is happening. Notice the story you're telling yourself. And then choose how you want to participate in your own life. If you're ready to explore these teachings more deeply, join John and Joni at Paradise Ranch Retreat in Trinidad, Colorado, or explore Joni's book, STOP LOOK CHOOSE: Your Journey to Peace and Freedom.

It's easy to feel like you don't have enough; it's the message we constantly receive through media and advertisements. It's the message that once you have this thing, or make this much, then you will be happy... all of your dreams will come true! The truth is actually the opposite as this kind of grasping for more is associated with mood problems, anxiety, and stress.  We'll dig into this trap of "having enough" and how we can break free from it and embrace our enoughness.  About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Listen & follow the Joy Lab Podcast on your favorite listening app: Spotify | Apple | YouTube   Full transcript   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes:   Ep. 236: The Power of Good Enough Parenting & Calling Out Our Moms Our Grief series starts here: Ep. 252: The Grief of What Should Have Been & The Loss of Not Being Truly Seen (Grief Recovery & Healing Series part 5) More on Savoring:   Ep. 44: Savoring Your Past Without Ruminating or Romanticizing Ep. 45: Mindfulness, Savoring the Present Moment, & Overcoming FOBO (it's kinda like FOMO) Ep. 46: Savoring the Future: A Refreshing Skill to Boost Mood & Help Navigate Depression Ep. 47: Mindsets & Mental Health: How Thoughts About Yourself & The World Impact Your Wellbeing Ep. 197: How Savoring Shifts Your Mood, Mindset, & Behaviors Ep. 198: Unfractured Focus: Mastering the Art of Savoring in a Distracted World Our Authenticity series starts here: Ep. 216: Unmasking Your True Self: Exploring Authenticity and Awe Ep. 268: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth It for Mental Health Ep. 273: How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet)  Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406  Lynn Twist's Book: The Soul of Money   Questions this episode was made for: Q: Why do I keep thinking that getting more money, success, or recognition will finally make me feel okay? And why doesn't it ever work? A: This episode explains the psychology of contingent self-worth and the neuroscience of hedonic adaptation: when you stake your value on external things, the bar always moves, the reward always fades faster than expected, and there is never enough; understanding the mechanism is the first step to stepping off the treadmill.   Q: Someone I love seems to measure their worth entirely by what they have or what they've achieved — how do I understand that, and is there a way out? A: Henry's story of his patient and Aimee's story of her father both illuminate how the having-more strategy develops and why it becomes impervious to reason; this episode also names the false-self as the construction that drives the endless proving, and points to the inner compass that is always there underneath it. The good news is that there is a way out and this series explores those paths to enoughness.    Key moments: [00:00] Welcome — Enoughness part 2: having enough [00:30] Having enough isn't really about the amount — it's the belief that acquiring this much will make the bad feelings go away  [01:00] Conditional acceptance and love: growing up having to produce, perform, or prove before being given love — the untended grief that drives the proving [01:30] Francis Weller: what happens when we aren't born into a village with a full, joyous welcome of our gifts  [02:00] Henry's story: a venture capital executive, clearly depressed, sent to therapy against his will  [04:00] CBT couldn't break through — his thinking was so distorted he was impervious to reason; he clung to the belief that he added no value whatsoever  [05:00] The lesson Henry learned viscerally: it is futile to try to fill a hole in self-worth by accumulating money or anything else we value  [05:30] If you believe external achievement proves your worth, there will never, ever be enough — and what a drain on one's energy and vitality  [06:00] Aimee's father: grew up needing to grasp for more, family lived week to week — so grasping for more was genuinely what they needed to survive  [06:30] AImee Prasek "Money can absolutely buy relief from misery, but it doesn't buy happiness or joy with the same predictability."  [07:00] The neuroscience: dopamine tracks more with anticipation of getting the thing than with actually getting it — the reward at arrival is inconsistent and can be short-lived  [07:30] Most things can be taken away — a shaky foundation if you've built your identity or worth on them  [08:00] Aimee's father attached his worth to signs of success — culture pushes this onto us too  [09:00] His business fell apart and everything came crashing down — Aimee believes his contingent self-worth collapsed with it [09:30] Watching strangers take back the repossessed items — cars, boats, pieces of him; everything he'd staked his value on, gone in a day  [10:30] Henry: a prolonged grieving right there — it's the universal human experience [11:30] Hedonic adaptation, or the hedonic treadmill: big life events shift our mood temporarily, then we return to baseline  [12:30] Like Sisyphus: pushing the same rock up the hill, same outcome every time — all that effort does not create lasting change  [13:30] Hedonic wellbeing (drive toward pleasure, avoidance of pain) vs. eudaimonic wellbeing (meaning, authenticity, self-acceptance, personal growth) — it's not one or the other; you don't have to give up pleasure  [14:30] Socially-prescribed perfectionism added to the mix: contingencies of self-worth + hedonic treadmill + belief that others demand your perfection = perfect storm  [15:00] The belief that you can and should live without pain, full of only pleasure, proving it all the time — and it is just not true  [15:30] Henry: where the false-self gets born — when we learn that our worth is conditional on performance, appearance, or achievement, we hide the real self  [16:00] We construct a version of ourselves we believe will be acceptable, lovable, worthy of belonging — and it is exhausting to maintain  [16:30] Constant vigilance: am I saying the right thing, do I look right, am I achieving enough? Always the fear of being exposed as a fraud  [17:00] The paradox: the more we invest in the false-self, the less we're actually being loved for who we are — and deep down, we know this [17:30] Donald Winnicott's work on the false-self — link in show notes; also: the Authenticity series and the episode on feeling enough as a mom  [18:00] The false-self is like holding up a complex lie — cognitively and physically exhausting  [18:30] The inner compass is always there underneath the false-self — that knowing of our worth is never lost; it's never too late to come back to it  [19:00] Head to your Experiment in the Joy Lab Program to work on having enough; head to JoyLab.coach to access the Experiments [19:00] Closing wisdom from Lynne Twist: "Sufficiency isn't an amount at all. It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough, and that we are enough."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

We've all heard it said - sleep training helps moms, right? Moms are tired and overworked and need those babies to sleep so even if there is some risk associated with it, isn't it for the greater good? This is something we hear all the time, but does the research actually support this? Joining me today is Dr. Kathy Kendall-Tackett. Dr. Kendall-Tackett is a health psychologist and International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant, and the Director of Praeclarus Press, a small press specializing in women's health. For the past 10 years, Dr. Kendall-Tackett has been Editor-in-Chief of Psychological Trauma. She is Fellow of the American Psychological Association in Health and Trauma Psychology and Past President of the APA Division of Trauma Psychology. Dr. Kendall-Tackett specializes in women's-health research including breastfeeding, depression, trauma, and health psychology, and has won many awards for her work including the 2019 President's Award for Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Trauma Psychology from the American Psychological Association, and is a member of Sigma Xi, the Scientific Research Honor Society. Dr. Kendall-Tackett has authored more than 500 articles or chapters and is author or editor of 42 books, including the recent Breastfeeding Doesn't Need to Suck. Dispelling Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Myths and What To Do Instead: https://amzn.to/4y5mKTy Dr. Kathy Kendall-Tackett: https://kathleenkendall-tackett.com/ Dr. Kathy Kendall-Tackett at the Uppity Science Chick: http://www.uppitysciencechick.com/kktbio.html Breastfeeding Doesn't Have to Suck (Book): https://amzn.to/4vhBLPB Dr. Kathy Kendall-Tackett Books: https://amzn.to/3SN4gac Praecalus Press: https://www.praeclaruspress.com/

Porn addiction and loneliness are often more connected than we realize. What feels like a powerful sexual craving may sometimes be your brain reaching for something deeper: connection, belonging, emotional relief, or the experience of feeling wanted and known.In this episode, I sit down with Chris Coursey of Thrive Today to explore why pornography can begin to feel like a form of connection—and why that “connection” ultimately leaves us hungry for more.Chris introduces the concept of “pseudo-joy,” a counterfeit version of the relational joy our brains are designed to experience with real people. Porn can offer stimulation, attention, fantasy, and temporary relief without requiring vulnerability, patience, rejection, conflict, or the other challenges of genuine relationships. But because it cannot provide real attachment or belonging, we can walk away feeling even more lonely and disconnected than before.We also explore the relationship between porn addiction and attachment, why some men struggle to recognize or express their emotional needs, and how earlier relational experiences can shape the ways we respond to loneliness, stress, rejection, and overwhelm.One of my favorite parts of this conversation is that Chris does not leave us with insight alone. We talk about practical relational and emotional regulation skills that men can begin developing right now.We also discuss something I believe is incredibly important for porn addiction recovery: relational skills are recovery skills. Learning how to listen, receive feedback, recognize when another person needs space, stay emotionally present, and build genuine relationships can reduce our dependence on counterfeit forms of connection.The goal is not simply to remove pornography from your life. It is to build a life increasingly filled with the things pornography was trying to imitate—joy, belonging, emotional safety, rest, purpose, love, and real connection.CHRIS COURSEY LINKS:>> RELATIONAL TEMPERATURE FREEBIEThis free assessment measures your ability to stay relationally engaged:Identify your particular triggersRecognize when you're losing joyLearn how to stay in joy!>> CHRIS' ONLINE FEATURESWhether podcast or video interviews, articles or book reviews, you'll find Chris Coursey spreading joy and encouragement all over the internet!Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeVisit No More Desire Tools for Recovery for recovery tools and training, the free online community, my free eBook, Workshop, The RAIL Method ™ and more to help you break free from porn.If you're tired of trying to quit porn on your own, the No More Desire Academy gives you a structured path to recovery through coaching, brotherhood, practical tools, and step-by-step training. Learn more about the Academy.If you want deeper, more personalized support, I also offer 1-on-1 porn addiction recovery coaching. We'll work directly on your patterns, emotional triggers, recovery plan, and long-term growth. Learn more about working 1-on-1 with Jake Kastleman.My gratitude for the music in this episode (in order of appearance) goes to Ievgen Poltavskyi, Andrii Poradovskyi, and Aleksey Voroninfrom Pixabay.Note: No More Desire provides coaching, education, community, and recovery support. This content is not therapy, medical care, psychiatric treatment, or couples counseling.Support the showNo More Desire

Attachment repair is a skill, not just insight. Swedish clinical psychologist and SecureBase Lab founder Martin Jonsson explores how attachment healing extends beyond individual therapy and into relationships and community. Martin shares how peer support, shared experiences, and practical secure-relating skills can create opportunities for attachment repair, while exploring the roles of spirituality, sexuality, and belonging in building deeper, more secure connections. “Community is about horizontal empathy, not hierarchy.” – Martin Jonsson Attachment Isn't Solo Work: Healing Through Community with Martin Jonsson (310) 02:21 Spirituality and its role in therapy 09:21 Community as a space for attachment repair 11:23 Difference between groups and communities 14:54 Horizontal empathy and attachment in community 19:56 The integration of attachment theory in recovery models 22:26 Peer support and corrective emotional experiences 25:52 Language of attachment and shared understanding 28:27 Accessibility and inclusivity in attachment work 30:44 Sexuality and attachment patterns 34:09 Impact of attachment on intimacy and boundaries 40:44 Working with unconscious shadow aspects in community 45:16 The role of mentalization and affect regulation 49:38 Resources and upcoming workshops About our Guest – Martin Jonsson  Martin Jonsson is a licensed clinical psychologist, educator, and founder of Secure Base Lab, an attachment-informed therapeutic community integrating attachment science, experiential psychotherapy, and relational approaches to support psychological growth and relational wellbeing. For more than twenty years, Martin has worked at the intersection of psychotherapy, education, and transformational learning. Alongside his clinical practice, he has facilitated groups, trained professionals, and designed experiential learning programs across healthcare, education, social services, and personal growth. His academic training includes degrees in Clinical Psychology and Sexology, complemented by extensive postgraduate training in attachment-based therapies, including experiential dynamic therapies, as well as supervision training. His work is further informed by contemporary attachment research, affective neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology, and experiential psychotherapy. Today, Martin combines clinical practice, teaching, writing, and facilitation with the ongoing development of Secure Base Lab. His work is dedicated to bridging rigorous psychological science with the timeless human need for belonging, helping people move beyond understanding themselves toward experiencing—and creating—the kinds of relationships in which lasting change becomes possible. Click Here to see Martin’s full bio.  Resources for Attachment Isn't Solo Work: Healing Through Community with Martin Jonsson (310) The Secure Base Lab – Website, resources, workshops and more @TheSecureBaseLab – Official Instagram page Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all!  SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists. If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Beyond Attachment Styles – Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships Course available NOW!  LIVE Q&A SEPTEMBER 25TH! Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves).  This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated!  Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout. As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount. Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023) for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating. Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone.  If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun! You are invited!  OK for those of you who refer others to the pod, use it professionally or consider yourself nerdy and just love this stuff, hello, you are our people! Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corportate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples.  Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! 

“Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.” - John 15:12-13We live in a time when it has become incredibly easy to disengage. It's easier to stay home. Easier to keep scrolling. Easier to avoid someone else's mess. Easier to say “I'm sorry you're going through that” than to actually enter into what they're going through.But easier doesn't always mean better.In this episode of Doable Discipleship, Jason explores an idea he calls “moving in”: intentionally choosing engagement over isolation and moving toward people rather than away from them. Scripture repeatedly calls followers of Jesus to value others, carry one another's burdens, love our neighbors, and enter into meaningful relationship with one another.  In this episode, we explore:-Why our culture makes isolation and disengagement increasingly easy-What it means to intentionally “move in” toward other people-Why meaningful friendships require choosing engagement even when it's inconvenient-What the Good Samaritan teaches us about compassion that actually costs something-How technology can contribute to isolation, but doesn't have to determine our choices-Why carrying one another's burdens is central to following Jesus-How Jesus Himself modeled a life of moving toward peopleIn the story of the Good Samaritan, two people saw a hurting man and kept moving. The Samaritan saw the same man, felt compassion, stopped, and entered into his need. His decision cost him time, energy, resources, and money, but he chose the harder and better path.  Moving in is a choice. We can choose what is comfortable and convenient, or we can choose relationship. We can stay on the sidelines, or we can enter into someone else's life. We can see people as interruptions, or we can see them as invitations to love.And ultimately, we move toward others because Jesus first moved toward us. He didn't remain distant from our brokenness. He came close, took on flesh, bore our burdens, and entered our mess. As followers of Jesus, we're invited to reflect that same heart by loving deeply, serving generously, and building the kind of community that reflects His Kingdom.  If this episode encouraged you, consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with someone you want to intentionally “move in” toward.Key Scripture: Philippians 2:3-4, Galatians 6:2-3, John 15:12-13, Matthew 22:39, Luke 10:25-37Doable Discipleship is a podcast produced and hosted by Jason Wieland.Subscribe to the Doable Discipleship podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and to the Doable Discipleship Youtube channel. Intro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Escape From The Town by SHANTIhttps://tunetank.com/track/267-escape...Outro Music:Royalty Free Music from Tunetank.comTrack: Peace by VictorWaynehttps://tunetank.com/track/5040-peace/ (00:01) - INTRO (03:26) - INTERVIEW (06:50) - PRAYER

Experiences with stress, depression, and anxiety are often paired with feelings of not measuring up or that you're not enough. However, feeling that you're lacking in some way is not limited to a mental health diagnosis; these feelings are actually very common and, unfortunately, they make our lives smaller. We're working on our Element of Enoughness in this episode, identifying Enoughness as an inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are at this moment, without giving up on where you're headed. We'll start by identifying some obstacles to that knowing through two powerful research frameworks. The first is Dr. Jennifer Crocker's "contingencies of self-worth." This is the idea that we stake our self-esteem more heavily on certain domains than others, and when we do, our worth rises and falls with our performance in those areas.   The second framework is Drs. Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett's three typologies of perfectionism: self-oriented (impossible standards for yourself), other-oriented (impossible standards for others), and socially-prescribed (believing others are demanding your perfection). Henry also names the common root for our feelings of not being enough: the fundamental fear of not belonging.  This is the start of our series on Enoughness, so be sure to stick with us for the next episodes as we talk about and gain skills related to having enough, doing enough, knowing enough, and being enough.   About: The Joy Lab Podcast is an Ambie-nominated podcast that blends science and soul to help you cope better with stress, anxiety, and depression. It's hosted by integrative psychiatrist Dr. Henry Emmons and holistic mental health researcher Dr. Aimee Prasek. The podcast is best paired with the Joy Lab App.   Bonus: spread some joy and keep this podcast ad-free by donating (Joy Lab is powered by the nonprofit Pathways North and your donations are tax-deductible).   Full transcript here   Sources and Notes for Our Element of Enoughness: Related Joy Lab Episodes:    Ep. 268: Humility Can Be Stressful... But Worth It for Mental Health  Ep. 273: How to Build Confidence (When You Don't Feel Confident Yet)  Bellam, S., Curran, T., Hill, A. P., & Stoeber, J. (2025). Perfectionism and work performance: A meta-analysis. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12570 Carver, C. S., Lawrence, J. W., & Scheier, M. F. (1999). Self-discrepancies and affect: Incorporating the role of feared selves. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025007002  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). The costly pursuit of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.131.3.392  Crocker, J., & Park, L. E. (2004). Reaping the benefits of pursuing self-esteem without the costs? Reply to Schmuck and Sheldon (2004), Sheldon et al. (2004), Pyszczynski et al. (2004), and Kernis (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.430 Crocker, J., Karpinski, A., Quinn, D. M., & Chase, S. K. (2003). When grades determine self-worth: Consequences of contingent self-worth for male and female engineering and psychology majors. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.3.507 Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.108.3.593 Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2004). Avoiding death or engaging life as accounts of meaning and culture: Comment on Pyszczynski et al. (2004). https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.473 Freudenberger, H. J. (1974). Staff burn-out. Journal of Social Issues, 30(1), 159–165. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1974.tb00706.x  Harari, D., Swider, B. W., Bujold Steed, L., & Breidenthal, A. P. (2018). Is perfect good? A meta-analysis of perfectionism in the workplace. https://doi.org/10.1037/apl0000324 Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.60.3.456 Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.94.3.319 Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2005). Positive adjustment to threatening events: An organismic valuing theory of growth through adversity. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.3.262 Kernis, M. H. (2005). Measuring self-esteem in context: The importance of stability of self-esteem in psychological functioning. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00359.x Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2001). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. O. Fletcher & M. S. Clark (Eds.), Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Blackwell. Leary, M. R. (2000). Sociometer theory and the pursuit of relational value: Getting to the root of self-esteem. https://doi.org/10.1080/14792772043000045  Maslach, C. (1981). The measurement of experienced burnout. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.4030020205   Park, L. E., & Crocker, J. (2005). Attachment styles and contingencies of self-worth. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205277030 Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why do people need self-esteem? https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435 Schaufeli, W. B., Leiter, M. P., & Maslach, C. (2009). Burnout: 35 years of research and practice. https://doi.org/10.1108/13620430910966406    Questions this episode was made for: Q: What does "you are enough" actually mean? Isn't that just an excuse to stop growing? A: Enoughness, as Joy Lab defines it, is the inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are, without giving up on where you're headed. Enoughness is distinct from self-esteem (which rises and falls with performance) and is closer to unconditional self-worth; this episode explains the distinction and why believing you are enough actually makes you more open to genuine growth, not less.   Q: Why do I feel so driven to prove myself even when I know it's exhausting and not working? A: That's the contingencies of self-worth in action. When we stake our self-esteem on certain domains, we strive or perform not to learn or grow but to prove our worth; this episode explains the mechanism, its real costs, and why loosening those contingencies is not giving up on goals but can help free yourself from letting outcomes dictate your value.    Key moments: [00:00] Welcome to the brand new Element of Enoughness  [00:30] Opening fact: you are enough — and the Zen teaching Henry loves: "You're perfect as you are, and you could use a little improvement"  [01:00] Aimee's working definition: Enoughness is the inner knowing that you are enough just as you are, with acceptance of where you are, without giving up on where you're headed  [01:30] Contentment spiked with hope — Enoughness is not a ceiling, it's a foundation  [02:00] Why Enoughness is hard to define operationally — but viscerally familiar; we know what having it and lacking it feels like  [03:00] Henry: this topic lives in the conversation around scarcity and abundance — how much is enough is a question we don't give enough thought to  [03:30] Most of us carry on as though we don't have or aren't enough — striving, or feeling bad for what we think we lack  [04:00] The rare person who feels comfortable in their own skin: receives praise but doesn't need it — and stands out for it  [04:30] Four dimensions to explore: having enough, doing enough, knowing enough, and being enough  [06:00] Two key frameworks for the month: contingencies of self-worth (Dr. Jennifer Crocker) and typologies of perfectionism (Drs. Hewitt and Flett) [06:30] Contingencies of self-worth: we don't stake self-esteem equally on everything — certain domains carry more of our worth  [07:00] Three key claims: contingencies motivate where we put attention and effort; they influence how we react in those domains; they can lead to fragile self-esteem linked to higher depression and anxiety  [07:30] Contingencies turn "I feel good about myself" into "I feel good about myself if..."  [08:00] Crocker's college student study: students who tied self-worth to academic performance studied more hours — but extra studying did NOT predict a higher GPA  [08:30] They were studying to prove worth, not to learn — and reported more conflict, more academic struggle, more dissatisfaction by end of freshman year  [09:30] Key takeaway: you can be motivated to do well without attaching self-worth to the outcome — that's actually the more effective route  [10:00] Loosening contingencies isn't surrendering goals — it's refusing to let outcomes or others' judgments dictate your value  [10:30] Henry: inadequacy is closer to the truth than insecurity — the belief that we're not enough permeates almost everything  [11:00] Buddhist psychology: grasping — endless grasping — as the manifestation of not-enoughness  [11:30] No matter how much we get of the thing we think will fill us up, it doesn't last — this tragic gap drives anxiety and depression  [12:30] Aimee: feeling inadequate shakes our sense of security and safety — evolutionary roots, we need the group to survive  [13:00] Important distinction: self-esteem (rises and falls with performance), fragile self-esteem (staked on outcomes we grasp onto), and self-worth (intrinsic, not performance-dependent)  [14:00] Baumeister's challenge to the self-esteem movement of the '80s and '90s — hollow self-esteem building is at best unsubstantiated, potentially harmful  [14:30] Baumeister and Vohs, "Narcissism as Addiction to Esteem": chasing self-esteem through reality-detached praise creates a dopamine-like loop — feels good briefly, drops quickly, tolerance builds, need more and more  [15:30] The addiction pattern: constantly chasing the next hollow boost, convinced it'll finally hold — and it never does [16:30] Henry: why do we give our lifeblood chasing what we know deep down won't give us what we want?  [17:00] The fundamental human drive: to belong — to be seen, appreciated, cared about — once basic biological needs are met  [17:30] The tension: deep need to belong vs. the illusion that we are separate and must go it alone  [18:00] Neuroscience of belonging: newly born neurons immediately extend to connect with others — if insufficiently connected, they shrivel and die; same for us  [19:00] Introduction of perfectionism typologies from Drs. Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett  [19:30] Type 1 — Self-oriented: punishing standards for yourself, intense drive to be perfect and avoid failure  [19:45] Type 2 — Other-oriented: same rigid standards applied to others — hard on relationships, linked to more loneliness  [20:00] Type 3 — Socially-prescribed: believing others are demanding your perfection and will judge you if you fail — most linked to depression, hopelessness, and possibly suicidal ideation  [21:00] Henry: socially-prescribed perfectionism feels like the loneliest of the three — you're playing by rules you didn't design, trapped in a system you didn't agree to  [21:30] All three stem from the same root: the fundamental fear of not being enough, of not belonging  [22:00] Self-oriented: "If I'm not perfect, I'm not worthy of belonging" — attacking yourself to earn your own permission to exist  [22:30] Other-oriented: projecting the fear outward — demanding others meet standards because that's what you believe it takes to matter  [23:00] Socially-prescribed: the loneliest — responding to what you believe the world demands, even though that belief deserves to be questioned  [23:30] Most of us carry all three — when we can name these patterns, we have a choice; we can loosen the grip  [24:00] Aimee: all of these types come from a good place — wanting to matter, wanting others to matter — it's driven by a desire for connection  [25:00] Pushback addressed: will believing you're enough make you lazy, entitled, or narcissistic? No — Enoughness is not the same as self-esteem  [25:30] Enoughness is a neutral, solid ground — you can feel bad about a mistake and still feel like enough as a person  [26:00] When you feel like enough: you can take criticism without your value collapsing; apologize without self-destruction; make mistakes and still belong  [27:00] Joy Lab Program Experiment for Enoughness — head to JoyLab.coach  [27:30] This is a collective experiment — to feel like enough, we have to offer that to others  [28:00] Closing wisdom from Lao-Tzu: "When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you."   If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review us wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts!    Please remember that this content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice and is not a replacement for advice and treatment from a medical professional. Please consult your doctor or other qualified health professional before beginning any diet change, supplement, or lifestyle program. Please see our terms for more information. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call the NAMI HelpLine: 1-800-950-6264 available Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET. OR text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email NAMI at helpline@nami.org. Visit NAMI for more. You can also call or text SAMHSA at 988 or chat 988lifeline.org. Find more mental health resources here. 

Dr. Jim Wilder has been thinking about the relationship between brain science and spiritual formation since before most people knew the question existed. He trained under one of the inventors of the EEG machine, spent years working alongside Dallas Willard, and has spent decades building what he calls the Life Model — a unified account of what it looks like to grow up into the likeness of Christ, neurologically and spiritually. This conversation is an hour inside that work.Michael and Jim talk about why the right brain runs faster than the conscious mind — and what that means for every Christian who has tried to think their way into a changed life. They talk about why joy isn't a rare gift but the baseline the brain was designed to run on, and what happens when it isn't. They discuss identity, shame, and what it means for the brain to perceive itself only through how other people see us. And Jim tells the story of a professor who looked at a kid who couldn't spell and said, "You might want to consider being a writer." Eighteen books later, that moment still explains everything.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

We revisit Book 2 of The Legend of Korra after podcasting on the show every week 14 years ago! This is Part 1 of our discussion on revisiting Book 2: Spirits of Korra as a whole. We dive into topics like the did the season work any better for us this time around, Korra’s Character in Book 2, the love triangle, and Korrasami. Hosts for this podcast: Dylan, Mel, & Ben. 0:00 – Podcast Intro 1:45 – Intro to Korra Book 2 6:00 – How was rewatching Book 2? 25:35 – Attachment to Characters/MVP of Book 2 43:00 – Korra the character influenced 50:15 – Korra the character’s violence 1:06:20 – Love Triangle Drama 1:18:55 – Korrasami & Queer Coding 1:43:45 – Frustrations with Boleska and Bolin

Why do people read? In The Love of Books: Attachment to a Changing Cultural Object (Manchester University Press, 2026)  María Angélica Thumala Olave, a Senior Lecturer in Sociology at the University of Edinburgh's School of Social and Political Science, explores people's relationship to books and to reading, demonstrating the pleasure and importance books provide in contemporary life. Moving beyond a narrow focus on the social status offered by books and reading, the analysis shows the role of material objects, along with the emotional engagements and social bonds forged by the practices associated with books and reading. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

After a four-year sacred pause spent becoming a psychotherapist and writing his second book, The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology, Shannon Algeo returns to SoulFeed for one last conversation. This finale is an intentional closing ritual: six years, 313 episodes, and a global community of soul warriors. Joining Shannon as a surprise guest is the show's co-founder, back for a reunion that traces the whole arc, from early brainstorming sessions in Harlem to a packed launch night at Lululemon on the Upper West Side of NYC. Together they talk about their personal evolutions, the creative differences they moved through, and the therapeutic art of a good goodbye. This episode is less of an ending than a graduation. A blessing of ultimate aliveness for anyone stepping into their own next chapter. Stay tuned for the next chapter

Summary In this episode, Andy sits down with Dr. Jeremy Pollack, a social-organizational psychologist and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, author of Wired for Peace: Using 7 Neuroscience-Based Principles to Resolve Conflicts. Jeremy looks at conflict through the lens of the brain and nervous system, which helps explain why disagreements escalate so quickly and why the fixes we reach for often make things worse. Andy and Jeremy talk about why de-escalation has to come before problem-solving, since solutions and stress do not mix. Jeremy walks us through his Sapien Model of six basic psychological needs, giving us a far more useful lens than labeling a stakeholder difficult, defensive, or resistant. You will hear how memory and prediction shape the way we read the person in front of us, what a team learns when its leader consistently avoids conflict, and why changing our experience of conflict requires new experiences, not just new beliefs. Jeremy also shares how this shows up at home, in marriage and parenting. If you're looking for a practical, evidence-based way to handle the conflicts that come with leading, this episode is for you! Sound Bites "The most fruitful relationships from what I've seen at work, at home, et cetera, are those that can weather storms without the real fear of abandonment." "That was pretty interesting to me to see how much of the science is telling us that, like, our brain is mostly a predictive machine." "Anytime we're in an escalated or emotionally charged state, there's something going on in our brains, usually subconsciously, that's tracking a threat or an impediment to our basic needs." "It's de-escalate first because solutions and stress just don't mix." "What I'm feeling right now is not a result of what the person's saying. It's a result of the way my body is responding." "I call it an experiential thumbprint. It's completely unique to you and no one else has your nervous system, and you don't have anyone else's." "If we have a negative experience with someone and we go into a place of fear or pain or anger or something like that, the way that we see them going forward can change very, very quickly, and it's a lot harder to get us to unsee that." "We access memories in edit mode. And so after we retrieve it, and when we write it back, it's not always quite the same thing, and that's always made me question not is that memory correct as much as is it completely correct." "All conflict is an opportunity for learning." "The threat of abandonment is the big thing to really watch for when we're having arguments." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 02:27 Start of Interview 02:35 The Family Cultures That Shaped How Jeremy Sees Conflict 05:51 In Awe of How Much We Still Do Not Know About the Brain 07:49 The Brain as a Prediction Machine 09:55 The Salad Lady and What Sits Underneath Defensive Behavior 12:45 An Introduction to the Sapien Model 16:19 Why a Framework Beats a Label 16:58 De-escalate First: Catching Yourself Before It Is Too Late 20:54 When Our De-escalation Attempts Backfire 22:43 Empathy Without Having to Agree 25:03 How Memory Distorts the Person in Front of Us 27:46 We Do Not Access Memory as Read-Only 30:45 Joe, the Conflict-Avoidant CEO, and What a Team Learns 33:03 Taking Inventory When Nobody Pushes Back 34:53 New Experiences of Conflict, Not Just New Beliefs 38:08 Tell Me More: Creating a Gap Between Stimulus and Response 40:31 Peace Starts in Small Ways 42:49 Interrupting the Pavlovian Pattern 44:19 Bringing It Home: Marriage, Parenting, and Attachment 47:17 End of Interview 47:57 Andy Comments After the Interview 51:57 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Jeremy and his work at CoachJeremyPollack.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 371 with Amanda Ripley. Amanda is an amazing writer, and her book High Conflict is a great follow-up to today's discussion. Episode 148 with Dan Shapiro. The title of his book Negotiating the Nonnegotiable sounds like it's about negotiating, but it's really about navigating the conflicts that suck the life out of us. Episode 61 with Mike Roberto. That discussion was over 15 years ago, and there are ideas from it that Andy still uses to this day. Chat with PMeLa You can chat directly with PMeLa, the podcast's AI persona, to get episode recommendations and answers to your project management and leadership questions. Visit PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com/PMeLa to chat with her. Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader–that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks! Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills Topics: Leadership, Project Management, Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience, De-escalation, Psychological Safety, Emotional Regulation, Memory, Stakeholder Management, Team Culture, Accountability, Parenting The following music was used for this episode: Music: On Point by Steven O'Brien License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Energetic Drive Indie Rock by WinnieTheMoog License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

A woman from a large family in China shares how through practicing the teachings of Falun Dafa she was able to embody the patience and kindness of a practitioner with her family members, and also display selflessness when dealing with her difficult landlord. This and other experience-sharing on the Minghui website.Original Articles:1. Taking Fame and Gain Lightly and Putting Others First2. Looking Inward Helped Me Become a Better Coordinator3. Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy Toward My Husband To provide feedback on this podcast, please email us at feedback@minghuiradio.org

Send us Fan MailWhat if the thing you reach for dozens or hundreds of times a day isn't simply a tool?In this episode of Queerly Beloved, Wil sits down with psychotherapist, author, and teacher Shannon Algeo (he/him), MA, AMFT, APCC, author of Trust Your Truth and the new book The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology.Shannon's work offers a fascinating lens on our increasingly intimate relationship with technology: the connection of compulsive smartphone use with insecure attachment patterns. Our phones can become something like surrogate attachment figures- reliable places to seek stimulation, soothing, connection, validation, or escape when being present with ourselves or another human feels harder. Wil brings his own recent exploration into the conversation, sharing discoveries about the ways his social-media algorithm seems to hook different “parts” of him- parts afraid of missing out, being manipulated, or not being enough. Together, Wil and Shannon explore a deliciously provocative question: What might your algorithm reveal about you? And if the things that repeatedly capture your attention are pointing toward unmet needs, fears, desires, or wounds, could noticing those hooks actually become part of a healing practice? They also explore how social media can interfere with the very capacities human beings need for deep relationship: sustained attention, spaciousness, solitude, emotional presence, and the willingness to tolerate the glorious inefficiency of another human being.Together, they explore: How attachment theory can help explain compulsive smartphone use  Why intermittent rewards keep us checking apps over and over  The difference between having a desire and having an algorithm manufacture one  What our personalized feeds reveal about our fears, fantasies, wounds, and needs  How phones can become an escape from uncomfortable emotions  Why real human relationships require friction, inconvenience, and vulnerability  The importance of reclaiming solitude, creativity, wonder, and unstructured time  Practical tools like one sec, app blocking, digital sabbaths, and simpler phones  The possibility of joining a growing renaissance of rehumanizationNear the end of the conversation, Shannon offers perhaps the most hopeful reminder of all: this way of living is remarkably new. We are not permanently wired for endless scrolling. Our relationship with technology can change.When we reclaim our attention, we also reclaim room for what matters: creativity, intimacy, embodiment, purpose, play, and the messy, inconvenient, miraculous people right in front of us. Connect with ShannonShannon Algeo: shannonalgeo.com The Power in Your Hands: https://www.shannonalgeo.com/book Trust Your Truth: http://www.trustyourtruthbook.com/Resources Mentionedone sec: one-sec.app The Light Phone: thelightphone.com Brick: Get Brick Strother School of Radical Attention: School of Radical Attention The Offline Club: The Offline Club Johann Hari / Stolen Focus: Johann HariStay Connected with Queerly BelovedWebsite: https://www.wil-fullyliving.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wilfish99/If this conversation moved you, please subscribe to Queerly Beloved, leave a review, and share the episode with someone who might be ready to reclaim a little more of their attention—and their life.Support the show

You're listening to Voices of Your Village, and today's episode is part of our summer series, Honoring the Individual. Over the summer months, we'll be revisiting some of our favorite conversations—episodes that remind us of a core truth: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting children. Today I got to sit down with my dear friend, Eli Harwood, who you may know as @attachmentnerd over on Instagram, to dive into a topic that comes up so often, school refusal. We talk about what's really going on beneath school refusal, how to meet our kids with connection and structure, and why scaffolding their nervous system matters more than forcing compliance. This episode is full of practical strategies that help us show up differently for our kids and ourselves. Stay tuned in September for an exciting announcement that will make it easier than ever to move beyond generic advice and access support tailored to the individual child, student, or family you're supporting. Alright folks, let's dive in. Connect with Eli: Instagram: ⁠@attachmentnerd⁠ Website: ⁠https://attachmentnerd.com/⁠ Order the book: ⁠Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience⁠ Podcast: ⁠https://attachmentnerd.com/podcast⁠ Connect with us: Instagram: ⁠@seed.and.sew ⁠ TikTok: ⁠@seedandsew⁠ Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: ⁠Take the Quiz⁠ Order ⁠Big Kids, Bigger Feelings⁠ and ⁠Tiny Humans, Big Emotions⁠  Website: ⁠seedandsew.org⁠ Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: ⁠Ruby Adams⁠ and  ⁠Bensound⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices