Podcasts about Attachment

Attachment repair is a skill, not just insight. Swedish clinical psychologist and SecureBase Lab founder Martin Jonsson explores how attachment healing extends beyond individual therapy and into relationships and community. Martin shares how peer support, shared experiences, and practical secure-relating skills can create opportunities for attachment repair, while exploring the roles of spirituality, sexuality, and belonging in building deeper, more secure connections. “Community is about horizontal empathy, not hierarchy.” – Martin Jonsson Attachment Isn't Solo Work: Healing Through Community with Martin Jonsson (310) 02:21 Spirituality and its role in therapy 09:21 Community as a space for attachment repair 11:23 Difference between groups and communities 14:54 Horizontal empathy and attachment in community 19:56 The integration of attachment theory in recovery models 22:26 Peer support and corrective emotional experiences 25:52 Language of attachment and shared understanding 28:27 Accessibility and inclusivity in attachment work 30:44 Sexuality and attachment patterns 34:09 Impact of attachment on intimacy and boundaries 40:44 Working with unconscious shadow aspects in community 45:16 The role of mentalization and affect regulation 49:38 Resources and upcoming workshops About our Guest – Martin Jonsson  Martin Jonsson is a licensed clinical psychologist, educator, and founder of Secure Base Lab, an attachment-informed therapeutic community integrating attachment science, experiential psychotherapy, and relational approaches to support psychological growth and relational wellbeing. For more than twenty years, Martin has worked at the intersection of psychotherapy, education, and transformational learning. Alongside his clinical practice, he has facilitated groups, trained professionals, and designed experiential learning programs across healthcare, education, social services, and personal growth. His academic training includes degrees in Clinical Psychology and Sexology, complemented by extensive postgraduate training in attachment-based therapies, including experiential dynamic therapies, as well as supervision training. His work is further informed by contemporary attachment research, affective neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology, and experiential psychotherapy. Today, Martin combines clinical practice, teaching, writing, and facilitation with the ongoing development of Secure Base Lab. His work is dedicated to bridging rigorous psychological science with the timeless human need for belonging, helping people move beyond understanding themselves toward experiencing—and creating—the kinds of relationships in which lasting change becomes possible. Click Here to see Martin’s full bio.  Resources for Attachment Isn't Solo Work: Healing Through Community with Martin Jonsson (310) The Secure Base Lab – Website, resources, workshops and more @TheSecureBaseLab – Official Instagram page Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all!  SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists. If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Beyond Attachment Styles – Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships Course available NOW!  LIVE Q&A SEPTEMBER 25TH! Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves).  This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated!  Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout. As a listener of this podcast, use code BAS15 for a limited-time discount. Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023) for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating. Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone.  If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun! You are invited!  OK for those of you who refer others to the pod, use it professionally or consider yourself nerdy and just love this stuff, hello, you are our people! Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corportate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples.  Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!! 

Dr. Jim Wilder has been thinking about the relationship between brain science and spiritual formation since before most people knew the question existed. He trained under one of the inventors of the EEG machine, spent years working alongside Dallas Willard, and has spent decades building what he calls the Life Model — a unified account of what it looks like to grow up into the likeness of Christ, neurologically and spiritually. This conversation is an hour inside that work.Michael and Jim talk about why the right brain runs faster than the conscious mind — and what that means for every Christian who has tried to think their way into a changed life. They talk about why joy isn't a rare gift but the baseline the brain was designed to run on, and what happens when it isn't. They discuss identity, shame, and what it means for the brain to perceive itself only through how other people see us. And Jim tells the story of a professor who looked at a kid who couldn't spell and said, "You might want to consider being a writer." Eighteen books later, that moment still explains everything.Support the showENGAGE THE RESTORING THE SOUL PODCAST:- Follow us on YouTube - Tweet us at @michaeljcusick and @PodcastRTS- Like us on Facebook- Follow us on Instagram & Twitter- Follow Michael on Twitter- Email us at info@restoringthesoul.com Thanks for listening!

We revisit Book 2 of The Legend of Korra after podcasting on the show every week 14 years ago! This is Part 1 of our discussion on revisiting Book 2: Spirits of Korra as a whole. We dive into topics like the did the season work any better for us this time around, Korra’s Character in Book 2, the love triangle, and Korrasami. Hosts for this podcast: Dylan, Mel, & Ben. 0:00 – Podcast Intro 1:45 – Intro to Korra Book 2 6:00 – How was rewatching Book 2? 25:35 – Attachment to Characters/MVP of Book 2 43:00 – Korra the character influenced 50:15 – Korra the character’s violence 1:06:20 – Love Triangle Drama 1:18:55 – Korrasami & Queer Coding 1:43:45 – Frustrations with Boleska and Bolin

After a four-year sacred pause spent becoming a psychotherapist and writing his second book, The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology, Shannon Algeo returns to SoulFeed for one last conversation. This finale is an intentional closing ritual: six years, 313 episodes, and a global community of soul warriors. Joining Shannon as a surprise guest is the show's co-founder, back for a reunion that traces the whole arc, from early brainstorming sessions in Harlem to a packed launch night at Lululemon on the Upper West Side of NYC. Together they talk about their personal evolutions, the creative differences they moved through, and the therapeutic art of a good goodbye. This episode is less of an ending than a graduation. A blessing of ultimate aliveness for anyone stepping into their own next chapter. Stay tuned for the next chapter

Summary In this episode, Andy sits down with Dr. Jeremy Pollack, a social-organizational psychologist and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding Systems, author of Wired for Peace: Using 7 Neuroscience-Based Principles to Resolve Conflicts. Jeremy looks at conflict through the lens of the brain and nervous system, which helps explain why disagreements escalate so quickly and why the fixes we reach for often make things worse. Andy and Jeremy talk about why de-escalation has to come before problem-solving, since solutions and stress do not mix. Jeremy walks us through his Sapien Model of six basic psychological needs, giving us a far more useful lens than labeling a stakeholder difficult, defensive, or resistant. You will hear how memory and prediction shape the way we read the person in front of us, what a team learns when its leader consistently avoids conflict, and why changing our experience of conflict requires new experiences, not just new beliefs. Jeremy also shares how this shows up at home, in marriage and parenting. If you're looking for a practical, evidence-based way to handle the conflicts that come with leading, this episode is for you! Sound Bites "The most fruitful relationships from what I've seen at work, at home, et cetera, are those that can weather storms without the real fear of abandonment." "That was pretty interesting to me to see how much of the science is telling us that, like, our brain is mostly a predictive machine." "Anytime we're in an escalated or emotionally charged state, there's something going on in our brains, usually subconsciously, that's tracking a threat or an impediment to our basic needs." "It's de-escalate first because solutions and stress just don't mix." "What I'm feeling right now is not a result of what the person's saying. It's a result of the way my body is responding." "I call it an experiential thumbprint. It's completely unique to you and no one else has your nervous system, and you don't have anyone else's." "If we have a negative experience with someone and we go into a place of fear or pain or anger or something like that, the way that we see them going forward can change very, very quickly, and it's a lot harder to get us to unsee that." "We access memories in edit mode. And so after we retrieve it, and when we write it back, it's not always quite the same thing, and that's always made me question not is that memory correct as much as is it completely correct." "All conflict is an opportunity for learning." "The threat of abandonment is the big thing to really watch for when we're having arguments." Chapters 00:00 Introduction 02:27 Start of Interview 02:35 The Family Cultures That Shaped How Jeremy Sees Conflict 05:51 In Awe of How Much We Still Do Not Know About the Brain 07:49 The Brain as a Prediction Machine 09:55 The Salad Lady and What Sits Underneath Defensive Behavior 12:45 An Introduction to the Sapien Model 16:19 Why a Framework Beats a Label 16:58 De-escalate First: Catching Yourself Before It Is Too Late 20:54 When Our De-escalation Attempts Backfire 22:43 Empathy Without Having to Agree 25:03 How Memory Distorts the Person in Front of Us 27:46 We Do Not Access Memory as Read-Only 30:45 Joe, the Conflict-Avoidant CEO, and What a Team Learns 33:03 Taking Inventory When Nobody Pushes Back 34:53 New Experiences of Conflict, Not Just New Beliefs 38:08 Tell Me More: Creating a Gap Between Stimulus and Response 40:31 Peace Starts in Small Ways 42:49 Interrupting the Pavlovian Pattern 44:19 Bringing It Home: Marriage, Parenting, and Attachment 47:17 End of Interview 47:57 Andy Comments After the Interview 51:57 Outtakes Learn More You can learn more about Jeremy and his work at CoachJeremyPollack.com. For more learning on this topic, check out: Episode 371 with Amanda Ripley. Amanda is an amazing writer, and her book High Conflict is a great follow-up to today's discussion. Episode 148 with Dan Shapiro. The title of his book Negotiating the Nonnegotiable sounds like it's about negotiating, but it's really about navigating the conflicts that suck the life out of us. Episode 61 with Mike Roberto. That discussion was over 15 years ago, and there are ideas from it that Andy still uses to this day. Chat with PMeLa You can chat directly with PMeLa, the podcast's AI persona, to get episode recommendations and answers to your project management and leadership questions. Visit PeopleAndProjectsPodcast.com/PMeLa to chat with her. Join Us for LEAD52 I know you want to be a more confident leader–that's why you listen to this podcast. LEAD52 is a global community of people like you who are committed to transforming their ability to lead and deliver. It's 52 weeks of leadership learning, delivered right to your inbox, taking less than 5 minutes a week. And it's all for free. Learn more and sign up at GetLEAD52.com. Thanks! Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast! Talent Triangle: Power Skills Topics: Leadership, Project Management, Conflict Resolution, Neuroscience, De-escalation, Psychological Safety, Emotional Regulation, Memory, Stakeholder Management, Team Culture, Accountability, Parenting The following music was used for this episode: Music: On Point by Steven O'Brien License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Music: Energetic Drive Indie Rock by WinnieTheMoog License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

A woman from a large family in China shares how through practicing the teachings of Falun Dafa she was able to embody the patience and kindness of a practitioner with her family members, and also display selflessness when dealing with her difficult landlord. This and other experience-sharing on the Minghui website.Original Articles:1. Taking Fame and Gain Lightly and Putting Others First2. Looking Inward Helped Me Become a Better Coordinator3. Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy Toward My Husband To provide feedback on this podcast, please email us at feedback@minghuiradio.org

Send us Fan MailWhat if the thing you reach for dozens or hundreds of times a day isn't simply a tool?In this episode of Queerly Beloved, Wil sits down with psychotherapist, author, and teacher Shannon Algeo (he/him), MA, AMFT, APCC, author of Trust Your Truth and the new book The Power in Your Hands: Liberate Yourself from Attachment to Technology.Shannon's work offers a fascinating lens on our increasingly intimate relationship with technology: the connection of compulsive smartphone use with insecure attachment patterns. Our phones can become something like surrogate attachment figures- reliable places to seek stimulation, soothing, connection, validation, or escape when being present with ourselves or another human feels harder. Wil brings his own recent exploration into the conversation, sharing discoveries about the ways his social-media algorithm seems to hook different “parts” of him- parts afraid of missing out, being manipulated, or not being enough. Together, Wil and Shannon explore a deliciously provocative question: What might your algorithm reveal about you? And if the things that repeatedly capture your attention are pointing toward unmet needs, fears, desires, or wounds, could noticing those hooks actually become part of a healing practice? They also explore how social media can interfere with the very capacities human beings need for deep relationship: sustained attention, spaciousness, solitude, emotional presence, and the willingness to tolerate the glorious inefficiency of another human being.Together, they explore: How attachment theory can help explain compulsive smartphone use  Why intermittent rewards keep us checking apps over and over  The difference between having a desire and having an algorithm manufacture one  What our personalized feeds reveal about our fears, fantasies, wounds, and needs  How phones can become an escape from uncomfortable emotions  Why real human relationships require friction, inconvenience, and vulnerability  The importance of reclaiming solitude, creativity, wonder, and unstructured time  Practical tools like one sec, app blocking, digital sabbaths, and simpler phones  The possibility of joining a growing renaissance of rehumanizationNear the end of the conversation, Shannon offers perhaps the most hopeful reminder of all: this way of living is remarkably new. We are not permanently wired for endless scrolling. Our relationship with technology can change.When we reclaim our attention, we also reclaim room for what matters: creativity, intimacy, embodiment, purpose, play, and the messy, inconvenient, miraculous people right in front of us. Connect with ShannonShannon Algeo: shannonalgeo.com The Power in Your Hands: https://www.shannonalgeo.com/book Trust Your Truth: http://www.trustyourtruthbook.com/Resources Mentionedone sec: one-sec.app The Light Phone: thelightphone.com Brick: Get Brick Strother School of Radical Attention: School of Radical Attention The Offline Club: The Offline Club Johann Hari / Stolen Focus: Johann HariStay Connected with Queerly BelovedWebsite: https://www.wil-fullyliving.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wilfish99/If this conversation moved you, please subscribe to Queerly Beloved, leave a review, and share the episode with someone who might be ready to reclaim a little more of their attention—and their life.Support the show

You're listening to Voices of Your Village, and today's episode is part of our summer series, Honoring the Individual. Over the summer months, we'll be revisiting some of our favorite conversations—episodes that remind us of a core truth: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to supporting children. Today I got to sit down with my dear friend, Eli Harwood, who you may know as @attachmentnerd over on Instagram, to dive into a topic that comes up so often, school refusal. We talk about what's really going on beneath school refusal, how to meet our kids with connection and structure, and why scaffolding their nervous system matters more than forcing compliance. This episode is full of practical strategies that help us show up differently for our kids and ourselves. Stay tuned in September for an exciting announcement that will make it easier than ever to move beyond generic advice and access support tailored to the individual child, student, or family you're supporting. Alright folks, let's dive in. Connect with Eli: Instagram: ⁠@attachmentnerd⁠ Website: ⁠https://attachmentnerd.com/⁠ Order the book: ⁠Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy, and Resilience⁠ Podcast: ⁠https://attachmentnerd.com/podcast⁠ Connect with us: Instagram: ⁠@seed.and.sew ⁠ TikTok: ⁠@seedandsew⁠ Seed and Sew's NEW Regulation Questionnaire: ⁠Take the Quiz⁠ Order ⁠Big Kids, Bigger Feelings⁠ and ⁠Tiny Humans, Big Emotions⁠  Website: ⁠seedandsew.org⁠ Credits: Host: Alyssa Blask Campbell Co-host: Rachel Lounder Production/editing: Kristin Mork-McVeigh Graphics: Kayla Kurland-Davis/ Beki Rohrig Music by: ⁠Ruby Adams⁠ and  ⁠Bensound⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You asked Albiona where she stands on gentle parenting, attachment theory, highly sensitive kids, and strong-willed vs. defiant. She answered. This is the take you won't hear from most people in the parenting space — no sides taken, no approach put on a pedestal, and no parent left feeling like they're doing it wrong. Inside, she explores: Gentle parenting: what Albiona genuinely likes about it, where it tends to go sideways in practice, and why over-explaining often makes defiance worse instead of better Attachment theory: why it can leave parents burned out, how to take what works without adopting the whole framework, and what she looks for before bringing any guest into this space Strong-willed, defiant, highly sensitive, big feeler — what these labels actually mean, why Albiona thinks all kids are deeply feeling, and what to ask instead of reaching for a term Connect with Albiona: Book a Free Discovery Call (1:1 Coaching) — https://www.theparentingreframe.com/coaching Follow Albiona on Instagram — @theparentingreframe Join Albiona's Paid Substack Community — https://albiona.substack.com Email Albiona directly — albiona@theparentingreframe.com Loved this episode? Rate, review, and share with a parent who's drowning in parenting approaches and doesn't know which one to trust. Sometimes the answer is simpler than the label. Until next time, Albiona

In this episode, we're exploring the difference between temperament and attachment and how qualities like independence, sensitivity, introversion, emotional intensity, or a need for connection can interact with our attachment wounds. We'll also talk about what happens when two people's temperaments continually trigger each other, and how to distinguish between something that needs healing and a genuine compatibility issue.For further support:The Secure Self Toolkit:https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/secure-self-kitPersonalized Attachment Coaching:https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2

You're not a hypocrite for being patient with strangers and short with the people you love — you're depleted. This episode breaks down the three real forces behind that pattern: the emotional labor of managing your face and tone all day, the way unresolved frustration gets displaced onto safer targets, and the deeper truth that the people closest to you get your worst moments partly because they're the one place you feel safe enough to stop performing. Brett Ingram introduces "the threshold" — a single conscious pause between your outer life and the people you love — as the practical alternative to just trying harder to be nice at the door. What You'll Learn in This Episode Why you spend your best patience on strangers who mean nothing to you, while the people you love get the leftovers What "emotional labor" actually is, and why faking calm all day drains the same tank you need at home The psychology of displaced aggression — why a small thing at home (a dish, a lost set of keys) can trigger a reaction wildly out of proportion to the moment The real reason the people you love get your worst side: because they're safe, not because you love them less Why the standard advice — "just be more patient at home" — quietly makes the pattern worse The "threshold" — a single conscious pause between your day and your door, and why it works better than willpower A simple 10-second practice, and three reflection questions, to start changing the pattern this week Episode Timestamps [00:00] The moment at the door: kind to strangers, sharp with the people you love [01:00] Introducing optYOUmize and today's question [02:00] The quiet shame nobody talks about — and why it happens to good, loving people [03:00] Three real forces at work, and why they stack [04:00] Force #1: Emotional labor and the limited supply of "managing yourself" [07:00] Force #2: Displaced aggression — the psychology of kicking the dog [08:00] Force #3: Why safety, not love, explains the pattern [10:00] Why "just be more patient at home" backfires [12:00] The threshold: making the crossing from world to home conscious [15:00] The practice: the threshold pause and three reflection questions [17:00] The caveats — this isn't a pass for harm, and when the real problem is upstream [19:00] Closing: what to carry out of this episode Episode Summary Most people who snap at the people they love aren't cruel — they're the ones who held it together all day for everyone else. That's the paradox at the center of this episode: the same person who was gracious with a difficult coworker, patient with a stranger who took their parking spot, and warm in an email they didn't feel like writing can walk through their own front door and go flat, sharp, or gone the moment someone they love asks an ordinary question. Brett Ingram argues this isn't a character flaw. It's the predictable result of three forces stacking on top of each other, and understanding them changes what you actually do about it. The first force is emotional labor — a term the sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined in 1983 for the work of managing your feelings to match what a situation demands: the customer service voice, the meeting face, the "I'm fine" you say a dozen times before lunch. That management draws on a real, limited supply. Research on "surface acting" — performing an emotion you don't actually feel — has found it genuinely depletes people, and that depletion spills over: a day of faking it at work has been linked to more tension and less warmth at home that same night. You didn't run out of love. You ran out of regulation. The second force is displaced aggression — the psychological version of kicking the dog. When you're provoked somewhere you can't respond (you can't snap at your boss, you can't yell at traffic), the frustration doesn't disappear. It waits for a safer target. A 2000 meta-analysis by Amy Marcus-Newhall and colleagues confirmed this is a real, reliable effect — and found that displacement lands hardest when a small thing at home adds a spark to frustration you were already carrying in from somewhere else. The person at home didn't start the fire. They just struck the match. The third force is the one that reframes the whole pattern: safety. Drawing on attachment researchers John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, Brett describes the people closest to you as a "safe haven" — the one place you're allowed to stop performing. That's the entire point of intimacy. But the same safety that lets you finally exhale is also the safety that makes home the place you leak your unmanaged, depleted self. The people getting your worst are getting it partly because you trust them not to leave. That reframe is also why the standard advice — just be more patient at home — makes things worse. It asks you to add one more room of performance to a tank that's already empty. Instead, Brett introduces the threshold: a single conscious pause, wherever it fits your day, between the world and the people you love. One honest question — "what am I carrying, and do I want to hand it to them?" — turns an automatic crossing into a deliberate one. It's not a program or an app. It's ten seconds, once a day, at whatever boundary works for you: the last stretch of the commute, the hand on the front door, the moment you close the laptop. Brett is careful to draw two lines around this idea. First, this isn't permission to perform calm or swallow real feelings — sharing that you're depleted is connection; dumping it on someone is collateral damage. Second, "I was tired" explains a short tone, but it never excuses cruelty, contempt, or anything that makes home unsafe for the people in it. And if you're chronically arriving at zero, the pause at the door won't fix a life that's structurally over capacity — that's a different, upstream conversation about what you've said yes to. Resources Mentioned Arlie Hochschild — Sociologist who coined the term "emotional labor" in 1983 to describe the work of managing feelings to fit social expectations Amy Marcus-Newhall et al., 2000 meta-analysis — Research review confirming displaced aggression as a real, reliable psychological effect John Bowlby & Mary Ainsworth — Attachment researchers whose work on the "safe haven" concept underlies the episode's third force Everything Everywhere All at Once — Film referenced for the character Waymond's line on kindness as a strategy, not a weakness Frequently Asked Questions Why am I kinder to strangers than to my own family? It's usually not about loving your family less — it's about depletion. By the time you reach the people you love, you may have already spent the day's supply of patience managing your face, tone, and reactions for people who mean nothing to you. The people closest to you also feel safe enough that you stop performing around them, which means your unmanaged, tired self shows up there first. What is emotional labor, and why does it drain me before I even get home? Emotional labor, a term coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in 1983, is the work of managing your feelings to match what a situation demands — the customer service voice, the meeting face, saying "I'm fine" when you're not. That management runs on a limited supply, and research on "surface acting" shows the exhaustion spills over into evenings at home, even though the cause has nothing to do with the people there. Why does a small thing at home, like a sink full of dishes, trigger such a big reaction? This is displaced aggression: frustration from somewhere you couldn't respond — a boss, traffic, a bad meeting — waits and comes out later on a safer target. A 2000 meta-analysis found the displacement lands hardest when a small irritation at home adds a spark to frustration you were already carrying. The dish isn't the real source of the reaction; it's just what happened to be there. Why do the people I love the most get my worst moments? Because they're safe. Attachment research describes close relationships as a "safe haven" — the one place you're allowed to stop performing and exhale. That safety is what makes intimacy possible, but it's also what makes home the place your depleted, unfiltered self leaks out. It's not that you love them less; it's that you trust them not to leave. Why doesn't "just be more patient at home" work as advice? Because it asks you to add more emotional labor and performance exactly where your tank is already empty — the one room that was supposed to be where you could take the mask off. It also feeds a guilt spiral: snapping leads to shame, and shame depletes you further, making you shorter next time, not kinder. What is the "threshold," and how do I actually practice it? The threshold is a conscious pause, wherever it fits your day — the last stretch of a commute, the hand on the front door, closing your laptop — between your outer life and the people you love. The practice is simple: at that boundary, take ten seconds and ask, "What am I carrying, and do I want to hand it to them?" It's not a program; it's one question that turns an automatic crossing into a deliberate one. Is this pattern ever a bigger problem than just a hard day? Yes. Being tired explains a short tone, but it doesn't excuse cruelty, contempt, or anything that makes the people you live with feel unsafe — that's a different conversation. And if you're chronically arriving at zero, the threshold pause alone won't fix a life that's structurally over capacity; the real work may be upstream, in what you've said yes to. Keep Exploring If this episode resonated, these are worth your time: Relationships & Connection pillar page — Go deeper on how optYOUmize thinks about the people closest to you and the patterns that quietly shape those relationships Enjoyed This Episode? The best way to support optYOUmize is to subscribe and leave a review — it takes about two minutes and makes a real difference in helping more people find the show. Apple Podcasts · Spotify · Amazon Music · YouTube Leave a Review →

You can't force a child to make you their mentor. They choose. And most of us are quietly spending that choice on being right. That's the argument in Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, and it's the book two dads in this community keep coming back to. In this Bookshelf, they take it from both ends. John Berardi makes the case that a child is always looking for someone to guide them through life, and that they get to pick who. You can make a kid put on clothes. You can take things away. But you cannot make them choose you as the one they learn from, which is why the attachment has to come before the discipline. And if they don't pick you, they'll pick their peers, sometimes as early as nine. His warning about the book is worth hearing too: it's long, and the practical payoff is in the last few chapters. Hal Elrod brings the one line he pulled straight out of the book and taped to his fridge, where it's stayed for two years: prioritize the relationship with your child above correcting their behavior. Most of us correct constantly, and we do it at the expense of the bond. Yelling doesn't build influence, it spends it. So he bites his tongue and asks what matters more right now: the relationship or catching them doing something wrong. Nine times out of ten, it's the relationship. He also names the trap on the other side: you threaten, they comply, you feel like you won, and that short-term victory quietly costs you the long game.   IN THIS EPISODE: Why a child chooses who leads them, and why you can't force it Attachment before discipline: the book's core argument What happens if they don't pick you (peers, sometimes by nine years old) Leadership by example instead of authority, and why "good kids who follow every rule" isn't the goal The paragraph on Hal's fridge: relationship above correction Why yelling diminishes your influence instead of building it The short-term compliance trap, and what it costs you later Berardi's honest warning about reading the book  

Most people think boundaries are about saying "no," protecting themselves, or keeping others at a distance. But from a nervous system perspective, boundaries are something much deeper. They are not walls that separate us from connection—they are the foundation that makes authentic connection possible. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace, Elisabeth Kristof, and returning guest Margie Faltin explore boundaries through the lens of neuroscience, attachment, co-regulation, and post-traumatic growth. Together they examine why boundaries can feel so threatening after trauma, why receiving someone else's boundary can activate abandonment, and how early attachment experiences shape the way we relate to authenticity, conflict, and connection throughout our lives. Whether you've struggled with people-pleasing, over-functioning, conflict avoidance, or feeling guilty for putting your needs first, this conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed framework for understanding boundaries as an expression of nervous system health rather than emotional distance. Together they explore why boundaries become easier as nervous system capacity grows, how self-attunement changes the way we communicate our needs, why authenticity requires safety, and how learning to both set and receive boundaries creates stronger relationships, greater resilience, and lasting post-traumatic growth. Key Takeaways Why boundaries are a nervous system skill—not simply communication techniques. How attachment patterns shape the way we set and receive boundaries. Why receiving a boundary can feel like abandonment after trauma. The neuroscience of oxytocin, co-regulation, and the "tend-and-befriend" stress response. Why people-pleasing and fawning are survival adaptations rather than personality traits. The difference between reactive boundaries and boundaries rooted in regulation. Why self-attunement is foundational to authentic relationships. How rupture and repair help build secure attachment over time. Practical nervous system exercises for strengthening boundary capacity. Why authentic connection requires truth—not performance, perfection, or self-abandonment. If you've ever worried that speaking your truth would cost you love, feared disappointing others, or found yourself constantly prioritizing everyone else's needs above your own, this episode offers another perspective: healthy boundaries are not about pushing people away. They are about creating the safety, authenticity, and nervous system capacity that allow genuine connection to grow.   Resources

Dr. Stephanie is solo today, bringing in research about autism and identity and how it leads to issues with attachment and addiction. Bringing together the discussions on attachment is the way out of addiction not willpower alone.Why does one addiction pop up when you master another?How is Attachment related to Addiction?Why do autistic folks struggle with an integrated identity (thoughts from Dr. Tony Attwood and Dr. Jim Wilder).How does identity relate to attachment and addiction?Some introductory thoughts on the topic.An older podcast with Dr. Wilder and identity: https://www.spreaker.com/episode/identity-attachment-your-neurodiverse-relationship-with-dr-jim-wilder--67855836Dr. Wilder/Life Model: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Np62L3yHM5o&t=3sBuild a Brain: https://lifemodelworks.org/resources/watch/build-a-brainDr. Tony's website: Self-identityhttps://www.attwoodandgarnettevents.com/blogs/news/self-identity-and-autism-why-does-it-matter

It’s time to rewatch The Legend of Korra after podcasting on the show every week 14 years ago! This is Part 1 of our discussion on revisiting Book 1: Air of Korra as a whole. We dive into topics like the animation and the music, Korra’ character, and who is the MVP of the season. Hosts for this podcast: Dylan, Mel, & Aly. 0:00 – Podcast Intro 2:10 – Intro to Korra Book 1 10:15 – How was rewatching Book 1? 26:14 – Animation & Music 42:00 – Attachment to Characters 55:23 – Korra’s Character 1:08:23 – Book 1 Overall 1:15:20 – MVP of the season 1:24:27 – Best Episodes

Ajahn Dhammasiha talks about one of the more challenging teachings of the Buddha: "Grief, pain, sorrow, frustration, depression and despair are born from what is dear to us, they originate from what we love." You can find the sutta Ajahn mentions in his talk at: Majjhima Nikāya / Middle Length Discourses No. 87 'Piyajātika Sutta' / 'Born from What is Dear' https://www.dhammatalks.org/suttas/MN/MN87.htmlDhammagiri Forest Hermitage:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.dhammagiri.net/news⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our email Newsletter:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.dhammagiri.net/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Latest Photos⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://latest-pics.dhammagiri.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Youtube Channel:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@dhammatalksatdhammagiri8724#attachment #clinging #grief #dhamma #dhammatalk #buddhism

As the world enters the final phase of Kali Yuga, Shunyamurti explains why awakening the buddhi—the faculty of true spiritual discernment—is now essential. The ego is nothing more than a conditioned program generating endless narratives that keep us trapped in fear, desire, and suffering. Real freedom does not come from improving the story or accumulating more spiritual knowledge, but from cutting the knot that binds consciousness to the false self. Through silence, surrender, and the grace to transcend thought itself, the infinite Self is revealed as the only reality.

What happens when wanting something turns into needing it? The deal has to close. The client has to say yes. The money has to come. The relationship has to work. And suddenly, you're not creating from peace anymore—you're creating from pressure. In this episode, we're talking about the difference between desire and attachment, why desperation can cloud your judgment, and how to pursue what you want wholeheartedly without handing the outcome responsibility for your peace. You'll learn how to recognize when you've started gripping an outcome, the simple language shift that can help you release it, and how to leave room for God to deliver something differently—and maybe even better—than you planned. Want it. Work for it. Pray for it. Just don't need it to make you okay. If you're ready to go deeper into creating success from peace instead of pressure, come join me inside The Obedient Rebel Room.

What if the way you pray has more to do with your attachment patterns than you realize? In this episode, Dr. Alison shares how her own prayer life changed as she became more securely attached—and the surprising shift that she didn't understand at first. We'll look at what attachment theory can teach us about the way we experience closeness, why deeply feeling or anxiously attached parts of us may equate intensity with love, and how healing can lead to a steadier, more integrated way of relating—with other people and with God. In this episode, you'll learn: Why intensity can feel like closeness—even when it isn't security What attachment research reveals about why some relationships feel so consuming The subtle shifts that happen as your attachment system begins to heal What securely attached people do differently in close relationships A simple practice for building greater trust from the inside out More Resources: With every purchase of Dr. Alison's newest book, The Secure Soul, you'll get exclusive access to her Soul Tending Video Library, including  “Boundaries for the Deeply Feeling Woman” and her masterclass “Healing the Wounds That Still Shape You.” Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

Girl, we've made it to part four of The Disorganized Diaries, and this is the episode I've been waiting to give you. We've talked about what disorganized attachment is, where it comes from, and how ADHD and neurodivergence can pour gasoline on the fire. Today we're finally talking about the way out. And I need you to hear this: knowing something logically does not turn off the internal alarm system your nervous system built to protect you. Only embodied safety does that. So let's talk about how you actually get there.Inside the episode:The four-part framework for building secure attachment, starting with gaining awareness of your past relational trauma and creating a crystal-clear, empowering vision for who you're becoming (not the "safe" vision you think you're supposed to want).Why you can't outbehave a belief, we go deep into rewiring your subconscious belief system and doing the repetition compulsion work most people avoid (and the work that changes everything when you finally do it all the way).The secure relationship skills that actually get tested in real life, pacing, emotional investment, navigating conflict, and learning to self-soothe so you can pause between being activated and taking action, instead of blowing up or shutting down.If any part of this felt like your story, you don't have to figure it out alone. Whether you're ready to go all in or just want to start today, I've got two ways to support you.

Sorry, Disturbed listeners, there was a glitch in the Matrix, and the episode didn't release due to a technical error. Please enjoy Episode 287 better late than never! Featuring narrations by: Laura Intravia Dacey Else Laura Lockwood Ardenn Stolz Story 1: Someone to Cook and Clean  Narrated by: Laura Intravia A local handyman makes it clear that not only is he there to help, but he would also like someone to help him, and he won't take no for an answer.  Story 2: Just Beyond the Glass Door  Narrated by: Dacey Else  A young girl is living in her dream apartment, except for one little detail: the sliding glass patio door. She's always been afraid of sliding glass doors and how easily someone could break through one. Then one night, her fears come true. On her way to get a drink of water, she comes face to face with a man on the other side of her sliding glass door.  Story 3: The Dessert Diner  Narrated by: Laura Lockwood  A family road trip takes an interesting turn when they stop for breakfast in an old historical town. They go to a local diner that leaves them hungry for more.  Story 4: The Attachment  Narrated by: Ardenn Stolz A young girl brings home a new friend from a local haunt, but what she doesn't know is that this friend will follow her for the rest of her days. Hello, Disturbed listeners. We need your help in a truly terrifying way: a listener survey. Tell us all of your deep dark secrets; it'll only hurt for a few minutes. You'll find the link below! To show you how much we appreciate you,  we're giving away two $50 gift cards every month. We promise we won't stalk you when we're done. Click here for the Survey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This conversation conveys something that I've been trying to find the words and way to describe to you all for awhile. It was my personal experience first, then I started running groups that set the stage for this healing to happen, and now I keep watching it work time and time again. Because my God, don't we all want to know what actually rewires an anxious or avoidant attachment style, and do we really have to so that that healing in the hardest relationships first? Nope. This conversation with Libby, another incredible mama that has been engaged in this work with me, unpacks the neuroscience of mirror neurons and why an asynchronous, voice note based women's group can work like an attachment laboratory, giving the nervous system a low stakes place to practice safety before returning to the relationships that matter most. The heart of it traces how shame gets deposited in the absence of a loving witness, and how being seen by other women, without social obligation or real time pressure, teaches the body that connection is safe again. From there it moves into the harder pivot many women face: going from self-aware to self-honoring, learning that having needs isn't a betrayal of the people who depend on them, and that healing doesn't require perfection, only practice, trying, and being witnessed along the way.What emerges is a picture of women as natural self-healers, capable of holding space for each other's rawest truths and handing back both the mirror and the medicine. It's an invitation to trade isolation for a container where wisdom gets modeled, tried, and passed along, the way women always have. Libby's experience, and ways of explaining her transformation are absolute gold, and I'm so grateful to share this conversation with you all. Safe Inside is open for Fall, we start September 1st, link is in my bio if this works speaks to you, sparks something in you, and you're curious about what's possible when you put yourself in the way of this process.

— Why do we keep repeating the same painful relationship patterns, even when we desperately want things to be different? Why do some people fear abandonment, while others pull away when relationships become too close? And how much of our ability to love, trust, and feel emotionally safe is shaped by the experiences we had long before we entered our first romantic relationship? Attachment theory suggests that our earliest relationships create a blueprint for how we connect with others throughout life. These unconscious patterns can influence everything from our communication style and conflict resolution to our sense of self-worth, emotional security, and capacity for intimacy. The encouraging news is that these patterns are not fixed. With awareness, compassion, and intentional effort, it is possible to heal old wounds, develop greater emotional resilience, and create relationships built on trust, safety, and genuine connectionIn today's conversation, we'll explore the fascinating world of attachment styles, how they shape our inner lives and relationships, why so many of us get stuck in predictable cycles of conflict and disconnection, and what it takes to move toward more secure, healthy, and fulfilling connections—with others and with ourselves. Because at the heart of every human being is a desire to feel seen, understood, accepted, and loved. Valeria interviews  Marc Cameron — He is the author of  "Understanding Your Attachment Style: The Path to Overcoming Unhelpful Patterns and Building Healthy, Secure Relationships." Marc Cameron is an author, speaker, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Newport Beach, California specializing in couple's therapy. Alongside his private practice, Marc and his wife, Amy, lead How We Love, an organization founded by Milan and Kay Yerkovich birthed from their groundbreaking book on attachment by the same name.  Marc firmly believes that developing secure attachments is the key to creating strong and fulfilling connections between couples and within families. He guides people in enhancing communication, building trust, and deepening emotional bonds by helping them understand how insecure attachment styles create predictable dysfunctional relationship cycles—and how these patterns can be overcome. His book, Understanding Your Attachment Style (2025), outlines this approach in detail. In addition, Marc is certified in EMDR therapy, an evidence-based treatment for PTSD and trauma and is a regular co-host on New Life Live!, America's top Christian counseling call-in radio program with a weekly audience of over 2 million listeners. Learn more about Marc Cameron and his work!

Vered Benhorin, music therapist and Baby in Tune founder, joins me to explore how music and connection can be powerful tools in your parenting toolbox.   Together we explore:   Why creating just a few intentional moments of connection each day matters far more than trying to be perfectly present all the time. The simple shift that can transform ordinary routines like diaper changes, snack time, or bedtime into relationship-building moments. How music can help you stay playful and connected before everyday frustrations turn into power struggles. Why following your child's lead during moments of exploration benefits both of your nervous systems. How songs can become emotional shortcuts that help your child feel safe, understood, and connected when big feelings arise. The surprising reason these "bubble moments" are just as important for parents as they are for children. Why the joy and wonder children experience can help us see the world differently, no matter how old they are.   Whether you're parenting a newborn, a toddler, or a teenager, this conversation is a gentle reminder that secure attachment isn't built through perfection. It's built through small moments of presence, delight, and connection that add up over time.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

Dear Listener, is polyamory just cheating with extra steps? If you've ever wondered what actually distinguishes ethical non-monogamy from infidelity—or if you're thinking about opening your relationship and want to do it right—this episode is for you.Maybe you're curious about ENM but nervous about what it could do to your relationship. Maybe you're already practicing ethical non-monogamy and navigating a shift—adding a new partner, one of you wanting to close back up, or renegotiating agreements that no longer fit. Whether you're just getting started or deep in the complexity of polyamory, we've got you covered.This is the final episode in our Managing Thirds series. "Thirds" are people, things, or activities outside your couple bubble that can threaten—or enrich—your relationship's safety and security. And when it comes to ENM, there are a lot of thirds to manage—which is why doing this well requires intention.We're joined by Relationship Center therapist Nicole Penrod, AMFT, who specializes in supporting couples through transitions like this one. Nicole breaks down what actually distinguishes ENM from cheating, and explains why opening a relationship—or changing how you're open—will intensify whatever already exists between you, for better and for worse.We walk through what ENM relationships need to function well: knowing your strengths and weaknesses as a couple, getting clear on your why, building tools to navigate surprises as they arise, and managing big feelings like jealousy. Nicole introduces practical frameworks, including how to create a "container for experimentation" and the RADAR check-in—a structured conversation for staying connected through change. We even do a mini roleplay so you can hear what it sounds like in action.If you want to explore or evolve your ENM relationship in a way that strengthens rather than strains your connection, this episode was made just for you.Key Takeaways00:00 Intro01:36 Managing Thirds Meets ENM11:25 Agreements and Check In Tools24:16 RADAR Check-In Framework28:55 Mini RADAR Roleplay40:45 Updating agreements as you goResources and linksPolywise: A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships by Jessica Fern and DavidMultiamory podcastEp. 20 - Understanding Jealousy, Compersion & Attachment in RelationshipsEp. 35 - NVC for Couples: What Nonviolent Communication Is and How to Use ItHave a question or comment? Email us at podcast@relationshipcenter.com. We love hearing from you!If you'd like to work with one of the talented clinicians on our team, go to relationshipcenter.com/apply-now to apply for a free 30-minute consultation.To get a monthly email with our best content, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter.If something in this episode touched you, will you share it with a friend? That helps us reach more sweet humans like you.Lastly, we'd love it if you would leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And be sure to hit subscribe while you're there so you never miss an episode!

What if the biggest obstacle to your healing isn't that you're doing the work wrong... but that you're turning the work itself into another impossible standard?In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, HeatherAsh Amara welcomes longtime friend and bestselling author Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. for an honest exploration of conditional love, personal freedom, and what it really means to practice the Toltec teachings.Together they unpack the surprising difference between The Four Agreements and what Miguel calls the Four Conditions—those moments when we use spiritual teachings to judge ourselves instead of set ourselves free.They also dive into the Five Levels of Attachment, why we cling to identities and beliefs, and how reclaiming our ability to choose is at the heart of genuine healing.Whether you're new to these teachings or have practiced them for years, this conversation offers a compassionate invitation to loosen your grip on perfection and return to yourself.In This EpisodeWhy we unconsciously turn spiritual teachings into another form of self-judgmentThe difference betweenThe Four Agreementsand the "Four Conditions"How conditional love shapes the way we relate to ourselves and othersThe Five Levels of Attachment and how beliefs become identitiesWhy personal freedom begins with reclaiming your ability to chooseHow to course-correct with compassion instead of punishmentThe role of unconditional love in healing and transformationMentioned in This EpisodeThe Four Agreementsby Don Miguel RuizThe Five Levels of Attachmentby don Miguel Ruiz Jr.Living a Life of Awarenessby don Miguel Ruiz Jr.The Mastery of Selfby don Miguel Ruiz Jr.About Don Miguel RuizDon Miguel Ruiz Jr. is a Toltec Master of Transformation, speaker, and author of The Mastery of Self, The Five Levels of Attachment, co-author of The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships, and The Mastery of Life.Raised in the Toltec lineage by his father, don Miguel Ruiz, and grandmother, Sarita, Miguel Jr. has spent his life integrating the deep spiritual teachings of his ancestors with practical tools for awakening.He speaks around the world, helping people break free of illusion and live from the heart.

In this episode of Regulated & Relational, hosts Tracy Leonard and Ginger Healy welcome Karen Buckwalter, a therapist, supervisor, trainer, and consultant with more than 30 years of experience supporting children, families, and professionals navigating complex mental health challenges.Grounded in attachment theory and relationship-based healing, Karen has dedicated her career to helping people feel safer, more connected, and more supported. Her work emphasizes the importance of creating both a safe haven and a secure base for growth, whether working directly with children and families or mentoring the professionals who serve them.Soon we have the opportunity to learn more from Karen as she will be a featured speaker at the Attachment & Trauma Network's virtual Building Resilient Communities for Children Conference September 17 and 18, where she will continue to share practical insights for creating stronger, more supportive communities for children and families.Find Karen's book and other resources mentioned in the podcast at the links below:Karen's website  - https://www.karendoylebuckwalter.com/Karen's resources www.karendoylebuckwalter.com/resourcesKaren's Book- Raising The Challenging Child -https://a.co/d/08H1bAbUKaren's Podcast The Attachment Panel:https://youtu.be/w7AZoBFn774?si=q22UAteMxc5RLz7NTrust‑Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®)  - https://child.tcu.edu/tbri/social media handles for tagging:https://www.facebook.com/karendoylebuckwalterhttps://www.instagram.com/karendoylebuckwalter/https://www.linkedin.com/in/karen-doyle-buckwalter-2757593b/Suggested attachment book- The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships Are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust by Ed Tronick https://a.co/d/0cvkAOCQLink to the Building Resilient Children virtual Conference: https://attachmenttraumanetwork.org/brcc/ 

True leadership emerges when you possess the capacity to maintain mental clarity and bring forth wisdom from the mind—diffusing conflict while revealing solutions for the whole that look beyond the immediate present. You don't rely on the past per se, nor do you try to predict the future. Instead, you are able to sit within the space of the unknown with all that is and all that is not, acknowledging that there is no bulletproof way to execute perfectly every time.In this episode, we break down how to move out of survival-defensive loops, grow baseline capacity, and scale your somatic-mindset micro-habits across Level 1 and Level 2 states, and more.

What is it really like to grow up as the daughter of an attachment expert?In this deeply personal episode of The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show, Dr. Sarah Hensley is joined by her daughter, Gabby Hensley, for an honest conversation about childhood, grief, relationships, and what it means to find security as a Gen Z young adult.Gabby opens up about losing her biological father, how she has learned to cope with grief as she's gotten older, and the ways that loss has shaped her perspective on life and relationships. She also shares what it was like growing up with Dr. Hensley as her mom—and how years of conversations about attachment theory, emotional regulation, boundaries, and relationship patterns have influenced the way she approaches love today.Together, they explore what secure attachment actually looks like in real life, the relationship struggles facing Gen Z, and what parents may not realize about the way their children experience love, loss, and connection.It's a vulnerable mother-daughter conversation about grief, growing up, breaking relationship patterns, and learning what healthy love really feels like.Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today's world. For more information on Dr. Hensley's offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShowDr. Hensley's Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley's online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensleyFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyDisclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

You're not "too much" and you're not broken — your nervous system just learned to survive in chaos, and now it's time to teach it something new.Y'all, this one is personal. Disorganized attachment (aka fearful avoidant) is the attachment style I lived in for a huge chunk of my life before I did the work to become securely attached and it's also the one that gets talked about the least. In this episode of the Disorganized Diaries, I'm breaking down why this attachment style has such a high overlap with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, why it so often gets misdiagnosed, and exactly what it takes to move from that pull-you-in-push-you-away pattern into real, embodied security. If you've ever felt like your emotions are a tsunami one minute and you're completely shut down the next, this episode is for you.Inside the Episode:Why disorganized attachment develops from inconsistent or unpredictable caregiving, and how it shows up as "clingy one moment, cold the next" in your adult relationshipsThe surprising overlap between disorganized attachment, ADHD, and anxiety, and why so many women get misdiagnosed before they ever hear the word "attachment"The real growth areas that move you toward secure attachment: emotional regulation, releasing fear of abandonment, and building trust in yourself firstIf you're ready to start healing this pattern at the root, my Identity Reset mini-course is the perfect first step, it's where we start rewiring those old beliefs that keep you stuck in survival mode.

We do our practice of a presentation we will be doing about infanticidal attachment and chronic suicidality.Our website is HERE:  System Speak Podcast and sponsoring nonprofit website is HERE: S3C Foundation.You can submit an email to the podcast HERE.You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE.  Once you have registered with the network, you will receive an invitation to orientation, and then can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine.  We have peer check-in groups, an art group, recovery groups, social events, and classes.  Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us!Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general.  Content descriptors are generally given in each episode.  Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse.  Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience.  Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity.  While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma is not your therapist nor offering professional advice.  Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you.  Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency.  This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Sometimes when the betrayer reaches for the spouse they betrayed it feels like pressure, not comfort. When she pulls away and he hears that as rejection, it can set off a cycle that pulls both further apart -- him bracing against the fear that he's losing her, her bracing against a nervous system that no longer feels safe near him.   In part one of this podcast series, we talked about why it is a normal reaction to the trauma of sexual betrayal for the betrayed partner to want closeness one moment and need distance the next.   In this episode, we go deeper into what that means for both partners, and what it actually looks like to take radical responsibility for our healing.   In this personal conversation about attachment and self-protection we share: How a betrayer's fear of their spouse's distance activates much younger places inside him How noticing a self-protective part in the middle of a hard conversation can change the trajectory of the conflict. Why curiosity and compassion, not explanation or defense, are what actually de-escalate conflict How to care for each other's young, tender places without taking responsibility for healing each other What it looks like when one spouse doing his or her own work creates enough safety for the other to do hers   This is a continuation of part one, but stands on its own if you're joining us here first. Learn more about our programs: https://living-truth.org   The Living Truth Podcast: Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal. #LivingTruthPodcast #ChristianRecovery #FaithAndHealing #AddictionRecovery #MenInTheBattle #WomenInTheBattle #LivingTruth

When Ralph Brewer's marriage ended in infidelity and divorce, he was left with three young kids, a shattered sense of identity, and no real support system. What started as private journaling and anonymous blog posts grew into a mission to help men navigate divorce, recover from betrayal, and understand why so many relationships quietly die. In this episode of The Upgraded Man, host Chris Anderson sits down with Ralph — self-published author of The Dead Bedroom Fix and founder of Help for Men — for an honest conversation about loss, attachment, and what it actually takes for a man to come back from rock bottom. In this episode: Why it often takes a "holy poop moment" like divorce to finally force a man to change, and how Ralph turned his into a mission The hidden reason so many men have no real friendships, and why community is critical to male mental health What a sexless marriage is actually signaling, and why the problem is rarely about sex itself Attachment theory made simple: how anxiously attached men and avoidant partners fall into a dysfunctional cycle, and how to break it The "moving the goalposts" trap that leaves men doing everything and still feeling rejected Why getting healthier sometimes ends a relationship, and why that isn't a failure Ralph's controversial 36-month rule for vetting a partner before committing How to take ownership after betrayal, model resilience for your kids, and stop trying to fix what isn't yours to fix A simple first step for any man who senses something is off in his relationship this week Ralph Brewer is the author of The Dead Bedroom Fix, which has been read by hundreds of thousands of men across multiple editions, and the founder of Help for Men, home to the private men's support community The Brotherhood. Known online as "Dad Starting Over," he reaches millions of men across YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok. Learn more: helpformen.com Follow Ralph: search "Dad Starting Over" on YouTube, Facebook, and TikTok This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.===========================⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com Our mission at The Upgraded Man is simple — help men upgrade every area of their life through real conversations, honest stories, and actionable insight from men who have done the work.Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Send Chris Anderson a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/upgradedmanpodcast The content on The Upgraded Man is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not constitute professional legal, financial, medical, or therapeutic advice. Always consult a qualified professional before making decisions based on information discussed on this podcast. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Send us Fan MailThis was a bonus episode where I go over the transits for the week of August 10th - August 16th.In this episode, I talk about:Nature and the SelfNon AttachmentMercury activationsChiron activationsNew Moon Solar Eclipse Venus activations Human Design and passenger consciousness The Archive WaitlistCoffee ChatDestiny ReadingThird SpaceSubscribe to the SubstackWhere you can find Rochelle: InstagramWebsiteYouTubeEmail: info@rochellechristiane.comSupport the showWhere you can find Rochelle:Instagram, TikTok, Website, YouTubeEmail: info@rochellechristiane.com

The 8/8 Lions Gate Portal is open, and this year it doesn't simply open and close. It opened with a powerful Full Moon, peaks on August 8th, and carries us straight into the Total Solar Eclipse on August 12th and the new eclipse cycle beginning. In this video, the 3 key things you need to know to make the most of this eclipsed Lions Gate, plus a card pull for the collective.

EMOTIONALLY DRUNK ON YOU A Deeper Investigation Into Whether Insecure Attachment and Codependence Turn Love Into an Emotional Substance We Use to Escape Ourselves With Special Guest Dr. Allen Berger SYNOPSIS A lover can enter your bloodstream without ever touching your body. One text settles the panic. One unanswered call restarts it. A warm tone restores your worth. A distant look sends your identity into free fall. No chemical entered the system, yet the entire internal climate changed. What, then, have you been consuming? Human beings rarely describe romantic attachment as intoxication. Culture gives it prettier names. Passion. Loyalty. Devotion. Chemistry. Ride-or-die love. Yet beneath some of these celebrated experiences lives a dangerous emotional arrangement: another person has become responsible for producing the inner condition you cannot yet produce, tolerate, or sustain for yourself. Their attention becomes medicine. Their approval becomes evidence that you matter. Their availability becomes protection against abandonment. Their need for you becomes proof that you deserve to exist. Their obedience becomes peace. Once love carries this burden, relationship stops functioning as an encounter between two free human beings. It becomes a private emotional economy in which one person must keep paying so the other person does not collapse. Attachment theory helps explain how early bonds can shape the adult nervous system's expectations of closeness, separation, safety, and loss. Codependence adds another layer. A person may manage, rescue, fix, please, monitor, sacrifice, or overfunction in order to maintain access to emotional security. The behavior can look loving from the outside while fear quietly writes the contract. The anxious partner may call control “connection.” The avoidant partner may call emotional disappearance “freedom.” The rescuer may call indispensability “service.” The self-erasing partner may call surrender “commitment.” Every strategy attempts to solve the same unbearable problem: how can I keep another person from awakening feelings I do not know how to live with? Dr. Allen Berger's concept of emotional sobriety attacks this arrangement at its foundation. His work challenges the hidden belief that personal peace depends upon people, places, and circumstances behaving according to our private rules. “I am okay if you call.” “I am okay if you stay.” “I am okay if you understand.” “I am okay if you choose me.” These conditions turn another person's freedom into a threat. Could emotional sobriety begin when “I am okay if” finally loses authority? This does not require emotional coldness, radical isolation, or the fantasy that mature adults need nobody. Human beings require connection. The deeper question concerns governance. Who governs your inner life when someone disappoints you? Who controls your identity when affection gets withdrawn? Who becomes responsible for calming the fear that existed before the relationship began? Clinical maturity may involve learning to experience jealousy without surveillance, loneliness without self-erasure, uncertainty without interrogation, disappointment without retaliation, and grief without turning loss into proof of personal worthlessness. Philosophically, emotional sobriety confronts our understanding of love itself. Can love remain love when it demands psychological captivity? Can intimacy survive without control? Can commitment retain meaning when fear serves as the lock? A partner who cannot leave has not necessarily chosen you. A partner who must constantly regulate you has little room left to meet you. Culturally, many communities teach people to endure emotional dependence as evidence of loyalty. Men may learn to hide dependency behind authority, possession, silence, or rage. Women may receive praise for transforming self-neglect into service. Family systems can reward the person who carries everyone while quietly punishing the same person for developing a self. Under these conditions, codependence can wear the clothing of morality. Metaphysically, the topic reaches even further. What happens when consciousness seeks completion through possession? Can another person ever provide permanent shelter from an interior world you refuse to inhabit? Perhaps every attempt to make someone else the source of your emotional stability places sacred responsibility in human hands that cannot carry it. Tonight's investigation enters the space between love and dependency, support and self-abandonment, care and control, attachment and intoxication. Are you loving your partner? Or are you drinking them? And when the emotional supply runs low, who do you become?

Resources & Links⁠⁠⁠Akashic Records Training⁠⁠⁠⁠1:1 Programmes⁠⁠⁠⁠Appointments⁠⁠⁠⁠Free ebook⁠Free Beginners Guide to Your Internal TechnologyMentioned in this episode:What is the False Light?How to tell the difference between Spirit Guides and False 'Guides'In this episode, Akashic Records teacher Suzie Ridley explores energetic leaks in the Light Grid: what they feel like, why they happen and how they may affect your energy, focus and emotional balance.Suzie covers common signs of a “leaky” Light Grid, including tiredness, feeling drained around people, difficulty focusing and emotional reactivity. She explores causes ranging from unclear boundaries, doomscrolling and excessive external guidance to karmic cords, thought forms, psychic attacks and energy vampires.In this episode, you'll learnHow energetic leaks can show up in your Light GridWhy empathic people may absorb energy that is not theirsWhy relying on external guidance can weaken inner connectionHow karmic cords, thought forms and false guides may affect youFollow Wisdom from the Akasha on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, or subscribe on YouTube, so you never miss an episode. New episodes are released every Friday at 7AM GMT +0.Timestamps00:00 — Intro & upcoming Akashic Records workshop01:08 — What are energetic leaks in the Light Grid?02:43 — Signs & symptoms of energy leaks02:50 — Sign 1: Excessive tiredness / chronic fatigue03:28 — Sign 2: Drained in crowds, fine alone04:08 — Sign 3: Certain individuals drain you05:01 — Sign 4: Difficulty focusing05:10 — Sign 5: Energetic reactivity05:36 — Why energy leaks happen (clair senses & absorption)07:24 — Cause 1: Unclear or lacking boundaries09:31 — Cause 2: Technological consumption & doomscrolling11:05 — Cause 3: Doing too much / multitasking12:02 — Cause 4: Over-externalising for guidance13:30 — Cause 5: Karmic cords14:02 — Cause 6: Attachment to devolutionary thought forms14:47 — Cause 7: Psychic attacks15:09 — Cause 8: Energy vampires16:28 — Recap & closing thoughtsWisdom from the Akasha is the podcast for spiritually curious people navigating awakening, growth, and real-life challenges with a grounded, embodied approach. Hosted by Suzie Ridley of Akashic Readings and Healing, an Akashic Records Teacher, practitioner and researcher, each episode is a deep dive into esoteric topics and spiritual development for soul expansion.Guided by her work in the Akashic Records, Suzie shares reflections and practical suggestions you can bring into everyday life, where the mystical meets the tangible. With thousands of hours in the Akashic Records and clients around the world, her intention is to offer a fun, helpful resource that supports clarity, intuition, and meaningful, sometimes miraculous shifts.Connect with Akashic Readings and Healing⁠Website⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠Pinterest

Author Clay Vermulm comes onto the podcast to talk to Scotty about his "Voices From the Cold" novella series -- including "Crevasse" (2025, Dark Forest Press) and "Cairn" (2026, Dark Forest Press) -- as well as his collaborative anthology "Rain Shadows: Dark Tales From Washington State" (2025), co-authored with Tamara Kaye Sellman. They talk about mountaineering, work ethic, adventure horror, nature as an indomitable force, and more. They also discuss the 2022 Danish folk-horror film "Attachment," and its treatment of Jewish mythology, queer relationships, and family. WARNING: This episode contains spoilers for "Attachment." You can find Clay online at https://www.clayvermulmfiction.com You can get your copy of "Crevasse" at https://www.amazon.com/Crevasse-Voices-Cold-Clay-Vermulm/dp/B0F9X8W3HJ/ You can get your copy of "Cairn" at https://www.amazon.com/Cairn-Voices-Cold-Clay-Vermulm/dp/B0GQ7FF2VK/ You can get your copy of "Rain Shadows: Dark Tales From Washington State" at https://www.amazon.com/Rain-Shadows-Tales-Washington-State-ebook/dp/B0D52RH2WV/ Check out the Fermented Fiction podcast at https://fermentedfiction.substack.com/s/fermented-fiction?utm_medium=podcast Check out the Sinister Soup podcast at https://www.clayvermulmfiction.com/podcast -- Be sure to tune in to Daniel Braum's YouTube series "Night Time Logic." The series focuses on the strange, weird, and wonderful side of dark fiction through readings and discussions with diverse authors from around the world. The next episode will be LIVE on April 11 at 7 p.m. EST, and will feature author Rudi Dornemann. Follow the Facebook event at https://www.facebook.com/share/1BYsJgFGwu/ You can tune in on Daniel's You Tube Channel, which is his name DanielBraum or @danielbraum7838. https://www.facebook.com/groups/429777132474382 https://www.youtube.com/@danielbraum7838

*Before a child ever learns language, the nervous system begins writing scripture. Every embrace becomes a sentence. Every absence becomes a definition. Every inconsistency becomes a prophecy. Long before consciousness asks, “Who am I?” survival has already answered, “Become whoever keeps you connected.” Need performs a miracle. It keeps the infant alive. Then, unnoticed, the miracle becomes a monarchy. The architecture that once served survival quietly begins governing identity. Self-worth becomes negotiated. Love becomes verified. Presence becomes performance. Effort becomes evidence. The first environment does not merely teach relationship. It teaches consciousness how to interrupt itself. Perhaps this explains why so many adults call it discernment while living almost entirely inside inherited conclusions. They believe they are evaluating another human being, yet every act of vetting first passes through an invisible inheritance that predates memory itself. The Mother Room has already translated reality before reality has been allowed to speak. Perhaps every wisdom tradition has been circling this same mystery from different horizons. Jung asked whether we remain possessed by what we refuse to see. Krishnamurti questioned whether observation can exist before conclusion. The Dao refuses to force the river because the river never forgot how to become the ocean. Wu wei suggests that life's deepest intelligence appears when compulsion releases its grip. Attachment theory describes the earliest architecture through which safety becomes internalized. Different languages. One investigation. What keeps consciousness from participating in life before it organizes life into something familiar? Relationship therefore becomes something far more unsettling than romance. It becomes the only place where the architecture protecting yesterday collides with the life attempting to arrive today. Every demand for proof. Every craving for reassurance. Every fear of abandonment. Every insistence that love continually demonstrate itself. Each may represent a single movement wearing different disguises: the original pattern asking existence to obey the laws that once made survival possible. Then letting and vetting cease to describe dating strategies. They describe two civilizations living inside one psyche. One civilization believes love must first be secured before it can be trusted. The other discovers that love does not arrive through control, but through participation. Perhaps the greatest relationship never begins between two people. Perhaps it begins the moment consciousness withdraws its unconscious allegiance from yesterday's survival and allows today's embodiment to complete a sentence that fear has interrupted since childhood. Not because love finally arrived. Because the interruption finally departed. CORE PREMISE Every river already knows where it is going. Only the banks believe they are directing the water. Human consciousness appears to carry a similar misunderstanding. Nearly every moment becomes an attempt to negotiate with reality. Accelerate this. Delay that. Keep this. Prevent that. Predict them. Manage uncertainty. Control outcomes. Even love quietly becomes another engineering project. An invisible assumption governs nearly every decision: Life requires my management before it can be trusted. Yet every wisdom tradition eventually arrives at an altogether different possibility. The deepest intelligence may never emerge through greater control. It may emerge only after control exhausts itself. Relationship therefore presents one of the most demanding laboratories a human being will ever enter. Two conditioned identities arrive carrying thousands of conclusions about safety, intimacy, commitment, conflict, masculinity, femininity, trust, abandonment, betrayal, desire, permanence, and love. Each attempts to organize reality around those conclusions. Very little is actually allowed to reveal itself. Perhaps this explains why so much energy becomes invested in determining whether another person deserves entry into our life while almost no attention is given to whether life itself has been allowed to introduce us to ourselves. Vetting asks: “How do I determine whether this person fits the architecture I already possess?” Letting asks: “What architecture within me keeps interrupting reality before reality finishes speaking?” That second question is profoundly Daoist. Because Daoism does not begin with controlling the current. It begins with noticing that the current was already moving before you arrived.

Today Kirsty sits down with Jenn Pinkerton, founder of Pinkerton Psychotherapy whose work centers on attachment theory, trauma informed care, emotional regulation, and relational healing. Their conversation today centers around how attachment wounds show up in present day behaviors, emotional regulation and connection patterns, and how we can understand, embrace and recognize these parts of us in order to thrive.   Show Notes:  https://www.instagram.com/redheadreveal/ https://www.facebook.com/redheadreveal YouTube: @jennpinkerton   Connect with the Attachment Theory in Action Podcast: ATIA Podcast Website: https://www.attachmenttheoryinaction.com/  ATIA Podcast Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19Xm5Nhk2K/    Attachment Theory in Action Podcast is brought to you by Chaddock Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChaddockLearningNetwork/ Follow us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/chaddocklearningnetwork/ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chaddocklearningnetwork/   Connect with our Podcast Host: Follow Kirsty on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/krugglesatchaddock Connect with Kirsty on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirstynolan84/

Today is episode two of the special series covering our new book, "Dispelling Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Myths and What To Do Instead". When talking about sleep training, we can't get very far without talking about what is it parents can and should expect of their babies. That is, what is normal when we think about infant sleep? Joining me today to discuss this in more depth is Dr. Elaine Barry, who holds the honour of being one of the two co-authors I have not had on this podcast before, but who is becoming a leading voice in the world of normal infant sleep. Dispelling Cry-It-Out Sleep Training Myths and What To Do Instead - https://amzn.to/4vP77hw Dr. Elaine Barry at Penn State Fayette - https://fayette.psu.edu/person/elaine-barry Dr. Elaine Barry at PsychWire - https://psychwire.com/profiles/9xq69n/elaine-barry

In this episode of the Foster Friendly Podcast, hosts Courtney Williams and Travis Vangsnes engage in a heartfelt conversation with Judy Wright, a foster parent who, alongside her late husband, fostered 55 children, many of whom were medically fragile. Judy focuses on telling the incredible story of fostering Jaden, a two month old medically fragile baby who Judy was told would not survive, born with severe complications and later found to have no pancreas. Judy's story is a testament to the power of love, resilience, and the impact of fostering on both the children and the caregivers. She discusses the challenges and triumphs of caregiving and navigating the foster care system, emphasizing the importance of love and attachment in fostering. The conversation also highlights the significance of advocacy for children in care and the legacy of love through the John and Judy Wright Scholarship, aimed at supporting youth from foster care in their pursuit of education.Buy the book "Just Hold Her" or book Judy to speak:https://justholdher.com/index.htmlTakeawaysJudy and her husband fostered 55 children over 12 years.They were named Michigan Foster Parents of the Year in 2012.Judy's memoir is based on her experiences with a medically fragile child.Fostering can start with short-term or respite care.The importance of community support in caregiving.Breast milk was crucial for Jaden's survival.Judy faced significant challenges in caring for Jaden.The emotional connection between Judy and Jaden was profound.Jaden's diagnosis of being born without a pancreas was shocking.The journey of fostering is filled with both challenges and triumphs. I have no idea how long.This really is a miraculous story.NICUs are awesome, but they don't have time.This baby just never had that opportunity.Love gives you eyes.We don't get to decide where they land.You don't hold back on that attachment.Children deserve to have a voice.It's love in abundance.You need to advocate for them. Thank you for listening to this episode of The Foster Friendly Podcast.Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.Meet kids awaiting adoption.Join us in helping kids in foster care by donating $18 a month and change the lives of foster kids before they age out.Visit AmericasKidsBelong.org and click the donate button to help us change the outcomes of kids in foster care.

Learning to repair after conflict or ruptures is one of the most valuable relationship skills you'll ever have. But for many of us, meaningful repair isn't something we ever really learned or had modelled. In this episode, we talk about three key components of repair, and how they can help us to transform conflict into deeper understanding, connection, and intimacy. LinksFree training on healing anxious attachmentAttachment styles quizFollow me on Instagram

Home.  Family.  Belonging.  Love.  What does it mean to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family?  Gerry Crete and Theresa Robinson join us to explore that question: “What does a thriving marriage and flourishing in family life look like?  We bring in Internal Family Systems, attachment theory, perfectionism, the importance of family members delighting in each other, parents' vows and scripts, how loving children involves more than the will, and the importance of “being with” each other.   Check out Theresa Robinson's practice, Greenhouse Counselling, here: https://www.greenhousecounselling.com/ And Dr. Gerry Crete's practice, Transfiguration, is here: https://www.transfiguration.co/ Episode 85 is all about perfectionism:  https://youtu.be/bw-zUp2h_TA Check out our Resilient Catholics Community – the RCC offers structured programming to help orthodox Catholic flourish in life by working on our human formation: https://members.soulsandhearts.com/rcc If you are a Catholic therapist, coach, spiritual director, priest, or in another role where you accompany others in their human formation, consider the Formation for Formators Community (FFF).  The FFF is all about the personal, human formation of the formator, so that you can better receive and give love in how you accompany others.  More here:  https://members.soulsandhearts.com/fff And our daily sister podcast, Scripture for Your Inner Outcasts is all about helping our listeners integrate inside, heal from emotional burdens, and grow to flourish in accepting being loved and loving yourself in an ordered way.  https://www.youtube.com/@ScriptureForYourInnerOutcasts Key moments: 0:00  The home and family as a human treasure and source of joy4:30  The core question for this podcast series11:10 What does it mean to have a healthy marriage and family?13:30 The importance of the family, the “domestic church”21:00 Parts' expectations for family life – flourishing does not equal perfection25:00  Dr. Peter was a great parent right out of the gate, but then things got much more real.  25:56  Perfectionism in family life – how “the best is the enemy of the good.”  Attachment needs and integrity needs in family life.  Dr. Gerry wanted to provide his children everything so that they would be happy.  29:41 Eudaimonia is about a life well-lived, not perfection, a place where children can rest in the security of love33:30  Unconditional love in the family vs. a focus on “achievement”36:20  What is flourishing in marriages and family life? 40:42 The importance of joy and delighting in children45:45 How mothers and fathers can parents from a position of self-protection; the importance of pausing49:15  Parents' vows and scripts are often reactions to their experience of their own parents50:53  Parents often take too much responsibility for their children's behavior57:25  Balancing wanting the best for our kids with the need to “let go”1:00:10 Even heroic acts of the will are not enough in loving children10:01:30  How understanding parts make family relationships much easier1:04:20 Self-led parenting1:05:19  Parts language and family life1:09:00 How parts work helps with forgiveness in family life1:18:40  Some reassurances about parenting:  how earthy parents are not the primary parents of their children,  God's providence is active1:19:20  “Being with children” is more important than solving their problems1:22:30 Reversal with children and identification/counter-identification with parents1:26:00  Earthly parents are secondary parents, redux. God has a plan for every miscue, every mistake. He's willing to rewrite the family symphony, to take on the bad notes and turn them into good notes in His Providence1:28:25 Flourishing in a family is about creating an ecology or environment of worth and delight1:30:20  For each mom to remember that she is a beloved little daughter of God.

A practitioner in Heilongjiang Province has done an in depth examination of his fundamental attachments and determined where he has clung to his desire to arrange things in this life as he sees best, as well as his attachments to self-centeredness. This and other experience-sharing from the Minghui website.Original Articles:1. Getting Rid of My Fundamental Attachment2. The Illusion of My Mother's Illness Was Aimed at My Attachments3. Overcome the Notion of Aging as a Cultivator4. Karmic Retribution for Practitioners Who Take Lives To provide feedback on this podcast, please email us at feedback@minghuiradio.org

How do we begin to understand the landscape of our soul in light of our spiritual journey? What does it look like to live a more integrated life—one that honors the connection between mind, body, and spirit?For pastors and authors Cyd and Geoff Holsclaw, these questions became deeply personal as they explored their own spiritual formation and the hidden forces that shape the way we relate to God, ourselves, and others. Drawing from the science of attachment and its profound spiritual implications, they have examined how our earliest experiences of connection can influence our understanding of God, our relationships, and the way we navigate the world. In their book, Landscapes of the Soul: How the Science and Spirituality of Attachment Can Move You into Confident Faith, Courage, and Connection, they offer a compelling framework for cultivating deeper intimacy with God and greater wholeness in our lives.In this conversation, Davey, Cyd, and Geoff explore why faith and healing can sometimes feel disconnected, how attachment theory provides a powerful lens for understanding our spiritual lives, and what it looks like to navigate the terrain of our souls with compassion, honesty, and grace.If you've ever wondered how your past experiences continue to shape your relationships, your faith, or the way you see yourself and God, this episode offers both insight and hope. No matter what terrain you've traveled, healing and transformation remain possible through Christ, deeper self-awareness, and the secure connection we were created to experience. Website: https://www.embodiedfaith.life/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cydholsclaw https://www.instagram.com/geoffholsclaw Book: Landscapes of the Soul: How the Science and Spirituality of Attachment Can Move You into Confident Faith, Courage, and Connection https://amzn.to/4ubjxiRNot living the story you expected? Pain changes us but doesn't have to define us. Discover where you are on your healing journey and get a personalized pathway for your next steps: nothingiswasted.com/starthere Looking for help in navigating the valley of pain and trauma? Our Nothing is Wasted coaches can help: nothingiswasted.com/coaching Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating attachment dynamics and discussing sensitive, taboo topics in therapy can feel daunting, but understanding how your attachment style influences your mental health is a major step toward healing. In this episode, licensed therapist Kati Morton dives deep into attachment theory, explaining the four primary attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they shape your adult relationships and sessions with your therapist. Kati also addresses how to bring up political differences or uncomfortable topics without fear of judgment, and answers your most pressing community questions. Timestamps 00:00 - Episode Overview 00:46 - Discussing Uncomfortable & Taboo Topics in Therapy 01:59 - Political Polarization, Media Rage-Bait, and Safe Spaces 07:57 - Why Therapists Keep Personal Opinions Private 15:02 - Examples of Kinks, Religion, and Money in Therapy 18:42 - What is Attachment Theory? 20:35 - "What If You Never Tried to Attach to Your Parents?" Thank you to this week's sponsors! REBOUND: visit www.hellorebound.com/askkatianything & check your insurance or get matched with a therapist ONESKIN: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code KATI at www.oneskin.co/KATI 25:48 - The 4 Attachment Styles in Relationships 28:22 - How Attachment Styles Show Up Under Stress 35:35 - Getting Too Attached to Your Therapist 42:11 - Feeling Lost When Your Therapist Goes on Vacation 46:27 - Red Flag: When a Therapist Shares Their Own Personal Drama 53:38 - Rebuttal: Is the Therapeutic Relationship Transactional or Dangerous? 01:00:23 - Healing Your Attachment Blueprint and Final Thoughts Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton My main YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/katimorton?sub_confirmation=1 Ask Kati Anything ep. 325 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT PUBLISHED BOOKS Why Do I Keep Doing This? https://geni.us/XoyLSQ Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY If you're looking for a therapist, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed online professional: https://betterhelp.com/kati - Enjoy 10% off your first month! (this is an affiliate link, which means a portion of your signup helps support the podcast at no extra cost to you) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ Patreon https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ https://www.youtube.com/@askkatianything https://www.youtube.com/@katimorton PARTNERSHIPS Nick Freeman | nick@biglittlemedia.co Disclaimer: The information provided in this video is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical or mental health advice. It should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem or disease. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment. Viewing this content does not establish a therapist-client relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He was obsessed with you. Texting every day, planning the future, making you feel chosen... and then suddenly? Cold. Distant. Gone.If you've ever asked yourself "what did I do wrong?" - you didn't. You triggered his avoidance.In this raw episode, I'm breaking down the real psychology behind avoidant men - not the TikTok version. We're talking about why high-achieving, powerful women specifically attract avoidant men, why your closeness feels like a threat to him, and why chasing him will only make him run further. This is not about fixing him. This is about getting your power back. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVER:Why he pulled away right when things were getting goodThe 5 hidden signs you're dealing with an avoidant man (not just a busy man)The Anxious-Avoidant trap that keeps powerful women stuckWhy your success and feminine energy can actually trigger his pull-backExactly what to do when he goes cold - to stay in your soft, high-value eraIf you've ever been left confused, anxious, and overthinking a man who pulled away, this episode is your closure. It's time to stop asking why he left and start understanding why you chased.Listen now, save it, and send this to a friend who needs to hear it.

‘In the process of attachment, there is pain. To avoid that pain, we try to cultivate detachment. And so we keep up this circle, which is always painful.' This episode on Detachment has three sections. The first extract (2:42) is from Krishnamurti's fifth talk in Saanen 1982, and is titled: Detachment Is Just an Idea. The second extract (21:35) is from the first talk in Bangalore 1971, and is titled: The Pursuit of Detachment. The final extract in this episode (43:21) is from the first talk in Ojai 1949, and is titled: Where There Is Love, There Is No Question of Attachment or Detachment. The Krishnamurti Podcast features carefully selected extracts from Krishnamurti's recorded talks. Each episode highlights his different approaches to universal and timeless subjects that affect our everyday lives, the state of the world and the future of humanity. This episode's theme is Detachment. Upcoming themes are Harmony, plus many more in Season 8. This is a podcast from Krishnamurti Foundation Trust, based at Brockwood Park in the UK, which is also home to The Krishnamurti Centre. The Centre offers a variety of group retreats, including for young adults. There is also a volunteer programme. The atmosphere at the Centre is one of openness and friendliness, with a sense of freedom to inquire with others and alone. Please visit krishnamurticentre.org.uk for more information. You can also find our regular Krishnamurti quotes and videos on Instagram, TikTok and Facebook at Krishnamurti Foundation Trust. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a review or rating on your podcast app.

*Content Warning:  neglect, rejection, friendship betrayal, betrayal, and infidelity.Free + Confidential Resources + Safety Tips: somethingwaswrong.com/resources   SWW Sticker Shop!: https://brokencyclemedia.com/sticker-shop SWW S26 Theme Song & Artwork: The S26 cover art is by the Amazing Sara Stewart instagram.com/okaynotgreat/  Follow Something Was Wrong: Website: somethingwaswrong.com  IG: instagram.com/somethingwaswrongpodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@somethingwaswrongpodcast  Follow Tiffany Reese: Website: tiffanyreese.me  IG: instagram.com/lookieboo Follow Dr. Marisa G. Franco: Website - https://www.drmarisagfranco.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco Platonic, How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make - and Keep - Friends - https://drmarisagfranco.com/platonic-the-book/ Worth, The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment: https://drmarisagfranco.com/worth-the-book/ *Sources:  Almaatouq, Abdullah, et al. "Are You Your Friends' Friend? Poor Perception of Friendship Ties Limits the Ability to Promote Behavioral Change." PLOS ONE, vol. 11, no. 3, 2016, article e0151588, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0151588 Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress. When Losses of Loved Ones Are Not Acknowledged: Understanding Disenfranchised Grief. Department of Psychiatry, Uniformed Services University, n.d., https://www.cstsonline.org/assets/media/documents/CSTS_FS_When_Losses_of_Loved_Ones_Are_Not_Acknowledged_Understanding_Disenfranchised_Grief.pdf Dodson, William W., et al. "Rejection sensitivity dysphoria in attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A case series." Neurology 7 (2024): 23-30.  Franco, Marisa G. Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends. Penguin Random House, 6 Sept. 2022 https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/676695/platonic-by-marisa-g-franco-phd/ Franco, Marisa G. Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. G.P. Putnam's Sons, 15 Sept. 2026, Penguin Random House,https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/784327/worth-by-marisa-g-franco-phd/ Gobin, Robyn L., and Jennifer J. Freyd. "The impact of betrayal trauma on the tendency to trust." Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy 6.5 (2014): 505. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2013-24397-001 Guy-Evans, Olivia. “Self-Verification Theory.” Simply Psychology, 11 May 2026, https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-verification-theory.html Here & Now Newsroom. “Research Shows We Replace Half Our Friends Every 7 Years. Here's How to Make New Ones.” NPR Illinois, 23 June 2025, https://www.nprillinois.org/2025-06-23/research-shows-we-replace-half-our-friends-every-7-years-heres-how-to-make-new-ones Hillman, James. "Betrayal." Loose Ends: Primary Papers in Archetypal Psychology, Spring Publications, 1975, pp. 63–79. Jarrett, Christian. "The Liking Gap: We Usually Think People Like Us Less Than They Actually Do." Research Digest, British Psychological Society, 13 Sept. 2018, https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/liking-gap Kenny, Serafina. "Having Friends Is as Important as Diet and Exercise for Living Longer, a Longevity Expert Says." Business Insider, 22 Sept. 2023, https://www.businessinsider.com/longevity-antiaging-friendship-social-interaction-relationships-2023-9 Nader, Karim. “Reconsolidation and the Dynamic Nature of Memory.” Cold Spring Harbor perspectives in biology vol. 7,10 a021782. 9 Sep. 2015, doi:10.1101/cshperspect.a021782, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26354895/ Nussbaum, Ben. "FRIENDSHIP FLATTENS HILLS: It's time to put connections at the center of wellbeing, says relationship expert Marisa Franco." Spirituality & Health Magazine, vol. 25, no. 5, Sept.-Oct. 2022, pp. 46+. Gale Academic OneFile link.gale.com/apps/doc/A763799199/AONE?u=anon~858b38f4&sid=googleScholar&xid=6b08179d One Another. Directed by Amber Love, produced by Andrea Raby, Joycie Films, 2026. World premiere, SXSW Film & TV Festival, Austin, TX, 12 Mar. 2026. https://schedule.sxsw.com/2026/films/2249924 Romm, Cari. "Half of Your Friends Probably Don't Think of You as a Friend." The Cut, 9 May 2016, https://www.thecut.com/2016/05/half-of-your-friends-probably-dont-think-of-you-as-a-friend.html Thompson, Sophia, Kaitlyn Deaner, and Marisa G. Franco. "How to Help Clients Make Friends." Journal of Health Service Psychology 49.2 (2023): 77-85 https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42843-023-00085-w Wallace, Anna Kodé. "Why Friendship Betrayal Feels Impossible to Get Over." The Cut, 22 Apr. 2026, https://www.thecut.com/article/friendship-betrayal-explained-psychology-summer-house.html