Learning To Say Goodbye

I remember the day my dad called me to tell me that I should come home. My mom was not getting better. There is something to be said about the mental state one goes into upon receiving a potentially terminal diagnosis. Everything changes in this one instance, when the end of life turns from an if, a possibility far off in the future, to a when with a ticking clock. It goes way beyond the physical symptoms that go along with a disease and has more to do with the feelings and emotions, the worry and isolation one might feel at this point in life.  Unfortunately traditional medicine pays little to no regard to the mental state of a patient, while all efforts focus on the physical needs.  But in recent years scientific studies have turned their attention to a humble little mushroom in search of a solution. I am talking about Magic Mushrooms. Their active component, Psilocybin, might be the answer to alleviating emotional distress and depression at the end of life. I cannot even explain how exciting this subject is to me. When my mom was in hospital with cancer, I wish we had had that option. It might have made everything a lot easier – for her, for me and my dad. Who knows. What I do know is that mental health problems are rising worldwide – not only at the end of life - and we must realize that our current traditional Mental Health models continue to fail our most vulnerable populations. Alternative approaches such as psychedelic psychotherapy with psychedelics such as psilocybin, MDMA or Ketamine have a huge potential and often alleviate symptoms with a single dose in a controlled environment.  

What I find fascinating about human emotions such as grief, is that every one of us deals with them differently. Some people shut down and deal internally with their feelings, others need the support and shoulders of friends and family. But sometimes it is this deep emotional turmoil, that gives birth to some of the most amazing pieces of art because some people work through their grief by writing, painting or singing about it.It is those songs born out of pure emotions that give me all the feels. Those are the songs that make me cry, give me goosebumps or just allow me to travel down memory lane. It really got me curious about the creative process that goes into writing and performing from a place of grief. And I was lucky enough to meet just the right person to talk to.Gina Harris is a singer/songwriter and actor who has performed in theaters and jazz clubs in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Gina has done just that – she wrote a solo musical called “The Magic of Ordinary Things,” where she addresses her thoughts and emotions of dealing with her own grief after the loss of her parents and her singing teacher Lilian. Her music, grown from her jazz and blues roots, is magical and dreamy. Her lyrics are haunting, nostalgic and deep. I was curious to have a look behind the scenes and find out more about her creative process and how she was able to blend love, grief and hope into music.A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

This is what feels like the most important episode of LTSG to date. While my previous and future episodes are meant to open a discussion around the end of life, a reality we will all face sooner or later, THIS episode actually has the potential to save lives. So, if you are listening to this today and if you happen to work in marketing, PR, for a newspaper, radio or in a school or university and would like to help to get this message out, please do get in touch with me. You can email me at podcast@learningtosaygoodbye.comToday I am sitting down with Dr. Ruby Javed, who is the Chief Forensic Toxicologist at the County of Los Angeles Department of Medical Examiner-Coroner. Dr. Ruby has a stellar career with over 17 years of experience in drug-related science in both the private and public sectors. Not only is she a powerhouse at a job that most people would find hard to stomach, but she lives with an incredible passion and zest for life. We are both mothers and in that capacity today's subject is very close to our hearts. A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

I have seen a few mediums in my time. Some were ok, one was downright awful, and I walked out after 10 minutes. But then there are those that just leave you amazed. One of them is Jen Shaffer. Jen is a world-renowned Psychic Medium. She has been on serval TV shows and movies on Gaia. She works with law enforcement on criminal cases and often hosts small group readings called Wine and Spirits.Maybe it was the name that drew me, but I did not know much about Jen, when I attended one of her Wine and Spirits group readings a few months back. What came out during that reading blew my mind and I just knew that I had to have her on the podcast. But I did not want to have the regular “reading on a podcast kinda thing” – I wanted a look behind the curtain to find out how this whole medium thing works. In recent years I have had quite a few strange things happen to me as well, messages, visions … stuff like that. Crazy stuff, that I am still in the process of wrapping my head around. Maybe it is because of my work as an End-of-life Doula - I am not sure. I was never scared when I knew or saw something – just confused and scared that I might go nuts. And it is a process to recognize messages for what they are and to get the courage to talk about them. So, I am super excited to hear what an expert like Jen has to say about that. Maybe I am not going crazy after all.A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

Feelings are funny things. We think we experience them mostly on a mental level. Our brain makes sense of the things we feel, and we label them – as in “I feel happy” or “I feel sad, or anxious, or angry.” But it is in our body that most of these feelings settle in the end. How do we get rid of those tight muscles caused by anger, or the weight on our shoulders, where grief holds us down? This is what we will tackle in today's episode. I had a chat with Paul Denniston, the founder of grief yoga and author of the book “Healing through Yoga: Transform Loss into Empowerment.” Paul and I met at a workshop years ago and his teachings touched something inside of me that I really wanted to share with you all here.  Not only will we talk about how what we label as “negative” feelings settle in our bodies but we will also get a few hands-on tips on how to get things moving, releasing grief, pain, anxiety, fear, and anger that might have settled in our bodies for a long time.A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

If I would ask you, “where does your consciousness reside?” your first instinct might be to say “well, the brain of course,” right? After all, isn't that the part of our body that does all the thinking? Where our thoughts are turned to words, where we debate with others and most of the time with ourselves, where we define who we are? But is that true? What relationship do the brain and consciousness have? And what can we do to go beyond the brain and access deeper levels of awareness? Hear from Dr. Eben Alexander and Karen Newell about the mind-brain-relationship and how binaural beats help us to go deeper.For Show notes and links to books and further resources please visit www.learningtosaygoodbye.comA big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

Neurosurgeon and bestselling author Dr Eben Alexander never believed in life after death until he got a look behind the curtain when he experienced a Near-Death-Experience and came back to tell his story. When I came across his book while working through my own grief, I was blown away by the hope it instilled in me. Let his journey inspire you to look at death and what comes after from a new perspective. For Show notes and links to books and further resources please visit www.learningtosaygoodbye.comA big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

I believe there is magic in the sharing of personal stories; the sharing of life and loss, but most importantly of survival and love. There is not one way to get through grief and not one solution that works for everyone. We are all unique and our relationships and our heartbreaks are individual experiences. But how we deal with those losses might guide others, might offer hope and direction to those needing them the most right now.Meet Ernst van Eeghen and hear his personal story of heartbreak and survival and what it took for him to get back on the road of healing. For Show notes and links to books and further resources please visit www.learningtosaygoodbye.comA big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

Holidays – Christmas, Thanksgiving, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or birthdays, whatever it is you are celebrating, when you throw grief into the mix, things can change rapidly. How can we possibly celebrate when we are feeling the loss of a loved one? How can we even participate in events linked so closely to the memory of a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, or a grandparent? How can we honor their memories and incorporate them into new traditions going forward?And what about the support system? How can we support people who have lost a loved one especially during this difficult time?I had a chat with my friend Garrick Colwell, a grief expert, and the co-founder of Kitchen Table Conversations to get some tips on how to navigate the holidays while allowing space for your grief.A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

No matter what higher power you believe in, whether it is God, Allah, the One, the Source, or universal life-force energy, many of us find ourselves talking to God or directing our prayers to someone/something outside of ourselves. Some don't believe in God per se but in something. They might not be able to verbalize it, but whatever it may be, we often turn to that - let me call it “Source” - for answers, guidance and help. We are used to conversations and prayers being pretty one-sided. But what happens if God decides to answer?Meet Neale Donald Walsch, bestselling author and modern-day spiritual messenger and hear what God would say about death and life and what comes after.A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com

What is grief? What does it do to our bodies and are we hardwired to grieve a certain way? Everyone has experienced grief to some extent, whether for the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a move to a new city, or the end of a relationship. Every loss is experienced differently, but they all leave their marks on our lives. Candyce Ossefort-Russell uses the Polyvagal Theory to explain how we as humans deal with trauma and grief. Learn how to understand your emotions better and use that knowledge to be more gentle with yourself and others.To learn more please visit www.learningtosaygoodbye.com, where you can find all show notes and resources. You can download Candyce's e-book on grief right here: http://bit.ly/GriefEBook  A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com 

Before we jump head-first into a tough subject like death, it might be nice to know who it is you are listening to. Meet Alexandra Dionisio, the host of Learning to Say Goodbye and find out what on earth motivated her to start a conversation about death. This is just a little glimpse at what to expect, and why you – and everyone you know – should be listening to Learning to Say Goodbye.For show notes and further resources please visit www.learningtosaygoodbye.com A big THANK YOU to Reiner Erlings for the music. www.reinererlings.com