Are You Me?

P.S: If you still haven't signed up to read our newsletter, The RUME, then you missed out on our last mini. https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (Join us) now so you get future exclusive content! Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Can we all agree that dreams are weird? In this mini, we talk about some of our very weird dreams, from the sexual to the uncomfortably realistic and to the ones in which our brains/subconscious are straight trying to play tricks on us. P.S: If you still haven't signed up to read our newsletter, The RUME, then you missed out on our last mini. https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (Join us) now so you get future exclusive content! Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

The results are in and there's nowhere to hide. We're really exposing ourselves and psychopathic tendencies on this one. But if going through this exercise taught us anything, it's that we are pretty normal (those psychopathic tendencies could have been full-blown traits) and everyone's a little psychopathic sometimes and we're no exception. So, come into #TheRUME - you and whatever psychopathic tendencies you bring along are in good company. Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

It's a pointed question this week but if the answer is yes, we'd rather not know; please keep that to yourself. Somehow, in this conversation, we start out on the topic of child psychopathy, which we wish we didn't know about because can you imagine? (*shudder*), and end up going through the official psychopathy test to be able to definitively answer this question for ourselves. But of course, the path to that answer has lots of stories and discussions on related topics along the way. Come along with us and maybe you'll get your answer too! Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Children are a blessing (if you choose to have them) but we are not about the “legacy builders” in #TheRUME.  In this conversation, we get into how much of a deal breaker children can be in relationships, the attachment to biological children and the pressure that society places on people around children - if you have them, when you have them, how many you have, etc. It's a lot so please just do what works for you, beloved. You're doing amazing. Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Yes! At least one of us is. Mita became a citizen of Canada and her tweet about it went (mini) viral on Nigerian Twitter, which means her bride price is now all the way up.  This conversation is a reflection on the path to dual citizenship, what it means and the opportunity costs that have come with it. And while dual citizenship is a big flex, we are grateful that, as our Twitter uncle was quick to ask us, we can also claim to be citizens of God's kingdom. Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Who knew that there were so many different ways to be single/dumped? The ghosts of relationships and situationships disappear in many ways, some as abruptly as a magician and others a softly as a 90's song's fade out. In this conversation (in which we learn way more than we ever wanted to know about modern dating terms), we talk about how the endings of relationships often turn lovers to strangers. In the wise words of Mita, one clear thing is that “the streets are wretched.” So, come into #TheRUME - we'll make sure we say goodbye before leaving. Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

We are back and better for our second cycle! If you're new, welcome! We're so glad to have you in #TheRUME. If you've been part of our conversations, thanks for coming back. We've put a lot of thought into this cycle and are excited to share what we have in store for you. But we're not sharing secrets so you'll have to join us on this journey as we officially launch on June 11. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a conversation! In the meantime, here's a taste of what you can expect from us. This snippet is all about that four-letter L word, those who say it and those who don't. If you want a sneak peek into what's coming this cycle, then you should sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram), while you're at it. You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

We're baaaccccck! This is Are You Me?! Come into #TheRUME and let's get into it.

Last call for Cycle 1! This mini is our ode to the much-referenced, much-beloved corner of Reddit that has provided precious fuel for many of our conversations both on and off the podcast - r/AITA. Whether it's the man who won't cut his postpartum wife any slack, the girl who stole her cousin's wedding dress or the not pregnant woman who insists she's a mama, a**sholes are all around us. And if you can't figure out who the a**hole is, you can always ask strangers on the internet, but really, there's a good chance it's YOU. ATTN: For Cycle 2, we'll be making our “Mini-Me” conversations exclusive to newsletter subscribers. If you like them, don't miss them! Sign up to read https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (#TheRUME). 

A special drop for you while we are away! And on this one, we're back to discussing our very hypothetical children - our goals for them and the relationships we hope to have with them. Follow us on social media: https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ (Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Around here, we believe that there's always the possibility of something good and beautiful on the other side of conflict. But it's one thing to believe something, and it's another thing to live it. In this conversation, Mita recounts an eye-opening argument that triggered important changes and revelations. We also talk about some of the foundational agreements of successful disagreement and battles that are simply not worth fighting. Conflict is the beginning of consciousness, so shout out to our "aha moments" and to the people who are patient enough to listen to us, fight for us and grow with us. It's our final conversation of the cycle and we couldn't be more grateful to every one of you who has stepped into #TheRUME.

You can't make homes out of humans but we are going to try. In this conversation, we wonder what comes to mind when you say "home". For some it's a place, for others it might be a community and for someone in #TheRUME it may even be her person. This conversation explores the importance of spending time in a different cultural context and how that connects to our ideas of home, especially when thinking about plans for the future.

It's International Women's Day! And to celebrate here's a Mini-Me

Sigh. This one's for the boys, with or without booming systems. In this conversation, we ponder the question - are men ok? Somehow society has a lot of ideas about what makes a man "a real man™" and many of them don't seem to be good for men...or women. The crushing weight of gender roles, stereotypes and much of our cultural socialization continue to set up dire outcomes for our collective humanity, and though things are getting better, there's still a long way to go. One conversation won't fix anything, but maybe several will. Come into #TheRUME, boys are allowed.

It's a no for us, but at least we're blessed. This conversation is all about MONEY. Can you believe we work to earn money only to have to spend it?! The rent is too damn high, and so is the price of a home and the cost of being an independent adult in 2021. For all the talk about hard work leading to financial success, so much of the world works hard and remains poor with no dignity for their contribution, and the way that our society works doesn't seem to be helping. The fact is that the road to wealth is much easier if mummy or daddy (or corruption) has paved it. Cash rules everything around us, but you can still come into #TheRUME free of charge.

It's funny how things unfold. What starts as a conversation around how the ways we've had to engage with marriage expectations in our culture (both as women of our big age and as children of divorce) turns into a deeper conversation about our wants, our hopes, our fears and what it means to love and to lose. We share stories that remind us how hard good things are to find, how fleeting happiness can be and how all we have is now. This life thing can be so unfair, unpredictable and bittersweet, but as we're here, we might as well be here for real, for everything it has to offer, including being in #TheRUME with you.

Happy Black History Month! We're Black, proud and loud about it. In this conversation, we discuss Black identity and the variety of forms in which it exists. Who gets to call themselves Black isn't always the same as who gets called Black. We talk about the complex dynamics projected on Black bodies with every added drop of melanin - from biracial identity to the Blackness ascribed to African immigrants when they move to other parts of the world. The privileges decrease as the shade darkens, but it's still a special kind of privilege to be Black. P.S. Can you believe we've already made it to conversation 10?! Thank you so much for rocking with us!

Hey good looking! Yes, you! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in this conversation, the beholder is us. Basically, we're talking who's hot, who's not and why. Attractiveness may seem like a superficial focus but it's often about so much more including race, success and self esteem. From our judgements, to our preferences to society's beauty standards and even our relationship with our own looks, we talk that talk, but we WILL deny ourselves if asked in public. Hang with us in #TheRUME as we take a deeper look at what's on the surface.

Happy new president, America! Back in October before you decided to get a new president, the forces threatening to destroy your democracy were already moving mad, and we were mad about it, so we ranted about it. Come into #theRUME to hear is us vent about Evangelical Christians (both home and away) who have been sitting firmly in their nonsensical bag of hypocrisy, using their faith to excuse and promote everything from discrimination to misogyny. We go there on abortion and toxic brands of masculinity. Fingers crossed, we deal with less of this over the next four years.

Oh...you thought that was all? That was only the first round. In part two, we go again but we shift from home to school. We discuss how discipline and cultural expectations shaped our educational experiences - the lessons we learned, the identities we built and the ways these things have stayed with us even into adulthood. Moral of the story: all na scam and no one knows what they're doing. Join us in #theRUME.

"Spare the rod and spoil the child ," they say. Welp...here we are ripe, grown and ready to clap back. This conversation is all about being raised the Nigerian way - with fear, trembling and plenty of cane. We talk about the additional pressures that come with being the first born, first girl, a girl and just existing as a child tbh. And we can't possibly leave out the hot and inexplicable beatings received along the way. Join us in #theRUME. Don't worry, we'll go easy on you

Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool? No sir, no ma'am, but we do have gist...and that's on Mary had a little lamb! In our toughest conversation yet, we discuss some of the dynamics and challenges we experienced growing up in our families and as part of the same extended family. This one's about dealing with expectation, pushing through reputation and doing things differently in our generation. We are family, I've still got my cousin with me, and you can join us too. Our greatest hope is that this conversation helps you have more open conversations about this too. Come into #TheRUME

Would you say yes to love knowing it can't last? In this Mini Me, we discuss an episode of one of our favourite podcasts "Modern Love" that poses this very question. This follows up on a topic we introduced in our end of year conversation "Are You Done, 2020?" so make sure you give that a listen too for the full gist! P.S. Our Rumies heard this first! Sign up for our newsletter The RUME to join our inner circle and receive special content.

2020 was a year for the books, and may the books be burned! In this conversation, we reflect on the highs, lows and weirdness of our year in all areas from family to relationships to just staying alive. We talk about new opportunities, dashed hopes, failed forays, too many tragedies and big girl growth. It's not always fun, but it's certainly better when we do it together. Honestly we get it if you don't want to do this, we're exhausted from this year too, but we promise we enclosed some little joys and a whole lot of reassurance that you're not alone. Wishing you all the best for 2021. Join us in #TheRUME. Follow us on social media:https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod ( Twitter),https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ ( Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

SURPISE! It's the season of giving, so we're giving you a mini conversation to get you through the hump day before Christmas. On this one, we get into whether we would let our very hypothetical children believe in the very non-existent Santa Claus. P.S. This is the kind of exclusive content you would be receiving if you signed up to read our newsletter, The RUME - https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (Join us) Follow us on social media: https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ (Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter,https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 ( The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

A panic attack, a first date, and plenty of feelings. This conversation is all about processing the emotions of challenging situations. Recorded shortly after the Lekki Massacre put a stop to the #EndSARS protests, we delve into the emotional dilemma of being a Nigerian in the diaspora during that moment while being invested in what was going on back home. And then of course there's some boy talk because their wahala never rests. Follow us on social media: https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ (Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter, https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

"He was not what I wanted, but he's what I needed." Can you imagine someone saying this about you? GOD FORBID. In this conversation, we discuss relationship scenarios where people are clearly being indulged and tolerated instead of adored and celebrated. Be warned: men are trash, women are trash, and the patriarchy is the trashest of them all. Follow us on social media: https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ (Instagram). Sign up for our newsletter, https://aw1927ef.aweb.page/p/d04e57e2-5743-4a15-8f82-efbd1b4d7f69 (The RUME). You may also email us at areyoumepodcast@gmail.com.

Who are we? How did we get here? What is "Are You Me?" all about? We figured you might be curious, so we thought we'd answer your questions before we get started with the show. Follow us on social media: Twitter, Instagram

This is a podcast about me, my cousin and our conversations. Our friendship and conversations are a space of openness for us, and now, it's open to you. Come in the room. New convos drop on Fridays. Follow us on https://twitter.com/AreYouMePod (Twitter), https://www.instagram.com/areyoumepod/ (Instagram). Join Us in The https://www.areyoumepodcast.com/ (RUME!)