Podcasts about Modern Love

At the age of 15, the filmmaker and actor Kyla Harris had an accident that forever changed what her body could do, and what it couldn't. From then on, she needed someone with her 24 hours a day to help her with things like going to the bathroom, cooking and showering.  Family members, friends, romantic partners and personal assistants have all played a role in Kyla's care over the years. She's had to learn to communicate, in exceptionally clear terms, how her body feels and what it needs, at any hour of the day or night.  Kyla is a creator and the star of the BBC TV show “We Might Regret This,” and her character, Freya, has the same disability that Kyla does. While the show depicts a fictional world, its complex web of remarkably close, interdependent relationships is, in part, inspired by Kyla's life. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Kyla tells Anna Martin what it's been like to approach every want and need as a group project. This dynamic becomes especially interesting when it comes to Kyla's thriving sex life, from dance-floor makeouts to long-term partnerships. Kyla discusses getting creative with her body — and the occasional prop —  and takes a deep dive into what intimacy can really mean.   How to submit a Modern Love EssayHow to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

On the #amwriting podcast's Margin Notes, host Jennie Nash talks with Caroline Bicks, Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine and co-host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast, about her book Monsters in the Archives: A Year of Fear with Stephen King. Bicks describes how she became the first invited into King's Bangor archives after King called to meet her, and how her sabbatical became a year of researching five formative works (including Carrie, Night Shift, The Shining, Salem's Lot, and Pet Sematary) to understand how horror language creates lasting fear. She explains choosing a first-person narrative that blends literary criticism, archival discovery, and her own anxiety, including eerie moments in the archive and insights into King's word-level edits, literary influences, and Shakespearean foundations, especially The Shining's ties to Hamlet.#AmWriting is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Read the Book* Monsters in the Archives by Caroline BicksTranscriptJennie: [00:00:00] Hi, I'm Jennie Nash, and you're listening to the #amwriting podcast, the place where we help writers of all kinds play big in your writing life, love the process, and stick with it long enough to finish what matters most. Welcome, everyone. This is Margin Notes, the part of the podcast where we're talking about the big decisions writers face in their work and creative lives.I'm here today with a super special guest. I'm so excited to speak with Caroline Bicks. She is the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine, where she teaches courses in Shakespeare, early modern culture, and horror fiction. And she's the author of all kinds of very cool books ... about Shakespeare, including one on cocktails.Um, and, uh, is the co-host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast, and we are here today to talk with her about her new book called [00:01:00] Monsters in the Archives: A Year of Fear with Stephen King. Welcome.Caroline: Thank you. Thanks for having me.Jennie: So this is gonna be the strangest interview you've probably ever done. ICaroline: don't know.Because- I've talked to a lot of people around the world about this Stephen King book.Jennie: I couldn't read your book. I, I couldn't read it. I can't read horror. Yeah. Which listeners of this podcast are gonna laugh about, ‘cause I'm actually coaching someone live and they're writing gothic horror, and they're probably like, “All you talk about is horror, Jennie.”But, um, it's actually the reason why I wanted to talk to you, because you made a decision in the writing of this book that I thought was super cool. Mm. Which was you put yourself in it.Caroline: Yeah.Jennie: And you're a scholar.Caroline: Yeah.Jennie: And you've written scholarly books, and you approach this with a scholarly perspective, but you, you really put yourself in it.And, and so [00:02:00] I was reading it for that part of the story and I had to skip over huge chunks of, of the, of the work. Because what you're doing in this book is you're getting at this question of- W- what, what is scary in writing? Like, how does it actually work? How does it act- what is the magic or the function that makes us feel this thing?And you actually feel it yourself while you're going through it, and I found it quite terrifying actually. So, um, that's kinda what I wanted to talk about is how did you make the decision? Well, first of all, you were the first person, I wanna make sure I get this right, ‘cause this is very cool. Yeah. You were the first person who was invited to the archives, the Stephen King archives.Caroline: Yeah. I mean, it's, it's a bit of a story, so I won't spend too much time on it, but just the mo- Oh, no, do. It's good ... when I ch- when I took this position... So I've been a Shakespeare professor my whole adult life, ba- as soon as I graduated from grad school in the late ‘90s, [00:03:00] and I was at Boston College for 15 years.I took this position at University of Maine nine years ago as a Shakespearean. Um, so it is an endowed chair in Stephen King's name because he's our most famous alum. So when I took the position, I, it was because I'm a Shakespearean, not because I'm a horror specialist. Um, I had always been a Stephen King fan since I read him when I was 12, and he scared the beje- Jesus out of me, um, with The Boogeyman story.Jennie: Right.Caroline: Um, so when I took this position though I was told, “You're never gonna meet Stephen King. Don't even make contact with him.” I'm like, “Fine, you know, this is still a great job. I'm excited.” Um- ThanksJennie: for the money. Yeah.Caroline: Thanks for... You know, no, it's a wonderful fund. It was funded by the Harold Alfond Foundation, and it's to support the public humanities, which is an incredible mission.So, um, I get to give money away to people. You know, it's a great, great position, but I was not a horror specialist. And particu- a- and as an adult, I actually wasn't reading horror because it scares me too much. You know? Yeah, yeah. Um, but it had grabbed me when I was a teenager. So it was about four years into the [00:04:00] job when I got a call at home from Stephen King, which just, uh, uh, my jaw hit the floor.And he said, “You know, I think it's time we meet.” I'm like, you know, I, I really fan-girled because I really, I have so much admiration for him and respect. Um, I invited him to come talk to our students. He was brilliant, generous, funny, kind, and I felt so at ease that I felt like I could ask... You know, and I got to know him professionally.We had a good professional relationship that developed from there. When I had a sabbatical year coming up the next year- I could have written another Shakespeare book. I had another one in my head. I've written a bunch of them but I knew that he and Tabitha had just collected all of his manuscripts and put them in a climate-controlled space attached to their home in Bangor, and I thought, “You know, this is an incredible opportunity.I would love to dig in there and be the first one in there, and just read those early drafts of the books that scared me so much when I was a teenager, and try to just explore why. Why were they sticking in my head still?” Um, again, I am not a specialist in... I'm not a cognitive scientist. I'm not a [00:05:00] specialist in horror literature, but I'm obviously highly trained in how to do literary analysis and how to do archival work, not Shakespeare, because we don't have any of his works, but, you know, I, I understand what that process is.So back to your question about why I wanted to bring myself into it, which was, you know, I had been experimenting with first-person storytelling after I got tenure. You know, ‘cause it's a long process, Kate. Right. And most of my writing had been academic writing, but I really had always loved storytelling And I got a piece into the Modern Love column.I started to have some success with publishing my first-person stories, and I was like, “You know, I love this.” So when I had this opportunity to go into his archives, they generously said yes, was amazing. I thought, “You know, I really wanna tell this story. I don't wanna write an academic book. I want this to be the story of a literature scholar, but really the story about a scared kid.”Jennie: Yeah.Caroline: You know, you, you never lose that scare, you know, I don't... This is the thing. Fear has stuck with me with those stories [00:06:00] for 40 years. So I was fascinated, and I just wanted to understand how he had crafted the language so that it was sticking in my head still. Because when I was talking to people around, you know, whenever you mention Stephen King to people, you know, if they've read him, they remember specific lines and specific words, and I was like, “That's an extraordinary, um, 50 years on to have that power.”So, um- Well- Anyway. Yeah. Go ahead. I, I could talk about this forever, so you tell me- Oh, no, it's- ... where you wanted to pick up from this.Jennie: It's so good. Well, I have to tell you this funny anecdote, which is that my college roommate was from Bangor, Maine, and babysat his kids in that house.Caroline: Oh, that's insane.Jennie: So when I went to visit her, she drove me by that house.There you go. And I was like, “Oh, hell no- Yeah ... would I ever babysit in that house.” Like, it's-Caroline: It's ‘cause it's like a gothic, it's like straight out of Haunting of Hill House ...Jennie: actually, and like these spiderweb gates that, and you describe that in the [00:07:00] book and, and the- Yeah ... archives are in that house. They'reCaroline: in the house.They're attached to the back. I know. And it, it was so, it was, it was insane. It was like a full-on 360 experience writing this book. Um, and I, I knew, like, so I did the research for a year. I didn't even know if this would be a book. I just knew I wanted to have the opportunity to be in there because it, I knew it was a great opportunity, and I was so curious, you know?Yeah. So I, I came out of the year with just tons of notes and observations, but I didn't have a book, you know? Yeah. And then I started experimenting with writing a chapter, and I just, the storytelling just came forward and then when I got an agent and she, you know, s- I, I, I was able to get a contract based on a proposal and that one chapter I had written and I was really fortunate to have a fabulous editor, David Ebershoff, at Hogarth, who is just such a wonderful writer himself, and he really encouraged me to bring my voice in and bring my story in even [00:08:00] more.Um, so that's- And- ... that's the story of that.Jennie: Was it hard for you as a scholar to do that?Caroline: You know what? It was so freeing and so fun that it actually wasn't, you know? Because I, I knew this wasn't going to be an academic book, so once I let go of that- Yeah ... um, I was like, wow, I have the, and yet I have this skill set I can bring forward, and I knew that's what would make this unique.Um, but I can combine my two favorite ways of writing, ‘cause I do actually love writing literary criticism. Like it's, I get a thrill out of it. I wouldn't be doing it this long if I didn't get a thrill out of it, but I also love telling my own stories and drawing a reader in. And so for me it was like just a circus carnival.Like it was so fun to be able to do it. Once I had the permission and I had a contract, I was like, fine, you know? I, I, who am I writing this book for? I'm writing it for me, you know? Like this is just something I wanna do because I'm so passionate [00:09:00] about it and I, and I love Stephen King. And, um, once I got into it that way and wasn't thinking about who's gonna criticize me for this, like how will academics view this, I was like, I don't care.I just don't care. I know I've got a great story to tell that people are gonna love to read because there's so many people that love not just Stephen King, but people who love reading about how great books get written, you know? Yeah. And so that was the audience I had in my mind when I, when I was crafting it.It was really, in my mind, anybody who cares about books and writing. It doesn't have to be... So when you say, you're not the first person who's said to me, “I can't read your book,” or, “I can't read-” Oh, I'm so glad. “... Stephen King books,” you know, and I'm like, “That's okay. You can skip, you know, the parts that really scare you,” because there's plenty about just like that first chapter I wrote about Pet Sematary, just his sticky notes back and forth with his copy editor, which is so fun I think.You know, it's just like, wow.Jennie: Totally. Yeah. But the thing that you do is you- Allow yourself to confront that fear-Caroline: Yeah ...Jennie: [00:10:00] that, that I feel that the people can't, that can't read horror feel. You know, anybody that even allows themselves to be scared feels. And-Caroline: Yeah ...Jennie: and you, you do some very specific things, um, which I, I found fascinating, including tracking down on eBay the original copy of that book you read as a- Yeah, I wanted-as a teenager.Caroline: Yeah, that was part of the process for me, was I wanted to make sure I was reading... So before I would go into the archives for each work, and I'd spent like two... I only picked five, because I wanted to... First of all, I knew I wanted to make this personal. Um, and those were the five that scared me the most when I was a teenager.So I grew up in the ‘70s and the ‘80s as a teenager, so for me, it was in real time when the books were coming out practically. So it was- Yeah ... Carrie, Night Shift, The Shining, Salem's Lot, Pet Sematary. Um, I'm forgetting one of course. Uh, but I went -Jennie: The other one.Caroline: The other one. Had a huge impact on me. [00:11:00] So it was those five, and I, I knew those were the ones I was gonna do a deep dive into, and that I wanted to really re-engage with, and bring my whole self to.So I wanted to find the copies that I had read in the ‘70s and the early ‘80s. And fortunately, it's pretty easy to find them. Uh, so yeah, but eBay sometimes I had to go on, or go into a used bookstore and, you know, find the like actual 1979 paperback, you know.Jennie: Um- I mean, that- Um ... I just, there's some, there's so much to say about that because-Caroline: YeahJennie: like, I just, um- We, we just had a new bookcase built, um, which is something I've wanted to do well for eight years in this house. But it's a thing I've always wanted to have, which is like a grand bookcase, and it just was finished last week, and we had all the books packed up in storage, and we brought all the books back.Then we went through this discernment process of what goes [00:12:00] on those shelves. And I, you know, I had all those books from when I was a kid, even when I was a kid-kid, and they're yellow, and moldy and falling apart, and the covers aren't on, and they're taped and-Caroline: Yeah ...Jennie: eh, but I cannot let them go-Caroline: Yeah ...Jennie: because those...that was the object.Caroline: That's the object. This is what I feel sad for kids now, because they're not gonna have those same memories, um, of books. Yes. You know? And I don't think they stick in your head the same way if you don't have the full sensory embodied experience with a book.Jennie: Right. You know? Even when you open...I read on Kindle, which I love for so many reasons. Yeah. But you don't even see the cover.Caroline: You don't see the cover, right. And for me, it's so much. Like, I remember going to the Scholastic Book Fair and being like- Yes ... “I'm getting Summer of My German S- Soldier because Christy McNichol's on the cover,” you know?Yes. Yes. So yeah, that was part of the journey for me was I did wanna just [00:13:00] reconnect with those books again, try to h- and as much as you can, you know, reexperience the feelings of f- like The Shining, I actually... the only one I still have from 1977 is the actual Shining that I read. Um, and that's, for me, that woman in room 217.Well, I know you haven't read it ‘cause you're probably... What? But, um, it, that particular one I still have from, from when I was growing up. Um, and I love that I still have it, and it still has the photo... You know, it's the version that has the photo inserts that includes the Kubrick film photos. Oh, okay.Jennie: Okay.Yeah, yeah.Caroline: And I read it before I saw the film, so I remember being- 15 reading it and then seeing the pictures and being like you know? And that's part of the experience, but it wasn't, it's different than seeing the film, you know? And I really, I wanted to write this book as a love letter to language and to books, and not to film.Like, there's, that's a whole other category I think that enters people's brains in totally different ways. It's a very different experience. For me it's about, like going back to your original question [00:14:00] about like why, why, why do stories cause fear, and like what's the value perhaps in that? Yeah. That was something I came to after this long journey really, and talking to people and thinking about why.And also by understanding and reading more about Stephen King's books and talking to him about them, and realizing for him how much these stories are rooted in personal experiences or fears of grief and loss. And- Yes ... that was really profound for me. And like The Night Shift, which is the ur-text that I start with, ‘cause that's the one I read when I was 12, and that's his first collection of short stories.It came out in 1978. It's 20 short stories. But he ends it with a story about his mother dying, and it's, I mean, it's thinly veiled autobiography. It's about a man who's watching his mother die in the hospital. Um, but it's clearly a mirror of his own experience losing his mother when he was 26. And I'm like, wow, what's that doing in a collection of horror stories?[00:15:00] And it's like, what? ‘Cause that is of course, at least for me and I think for a lot of people, that's the core fear we first have, is that where's mommy, right? Yeah. Right? You lose the person who's in charge of taking care of you, and if you're lucky, does it well and with care. Um, but even if it's not, like Carrie, you know, the more I was looking through the Carrie drafts, I was like, right, he's really homing in on Carrie calling out for her mother even though her mother's terrible and abusive to her, right?So it's, there's just this, I don't know. It's a long way around to say I think horror, and he writes about this really eloquently, is a way for us to metabolize our deepest fears. Um, and to look at trauma not head-on but sideways. Um, and he writes about that, um, a number of different places in a really powerful way.He's just such an extraordinary human. You know, he's been thinking about this and for so long.Jennie: Yeah. Yeah. So, so your willingness to [00:16:00] confront that, those particular fear, fears in your own self and on behalf of the reader, really puts you in it. I mean, like you, there's a really lovely moment where you are reading I think it's, I think it's Pet Sematary, reading the actual book, and you have to turn it over so you- Yeahdon't see, like on your nightstand so you don't see the cover. I'mCaroline: scared, I'm scared of the cover, right, still.Jennie: Yeah.Caroline: Yeah.Jennie: And then there's moments, se- several where you're driving And you're sort of holding your breath while you drive past a place that he writes about or, or- Mm-hmm ... you know, um, well you have to tell the story, I'm sure every interviewer asks you about the, um, the doorknob in the archive.You have to, like, I was-Caroline: Yeah, not too many people have asked me about that, but I'm like, that to me was the scary moment-Jennie: Wait, shut up ... the most, theCaroline: most sturdy. I'm like, wh- uh, why did that happen? But of course, I mean, there's a reason why it happened. It's, it's, it [00:17:00] automatically locks if, you know, the, if you- Okaydon't lock it So let's, let's play- So but it just happened that we were inside the archive room. It was me and, and Julie Ugli, who is their assistant, who was helping me through this whole process. And I know, and I was, like, literally holding the first page of the first draft of The Boogeyman, the story that had scared me so badly when I was 12, about a monster that comes out of closets, and we're like in this room.And the, the archive room, it actually, it almost feels like a closet. It's not huge at all. You know, it's just-Jennie: Yeah ...Caroline: top to bottom, ceiling to floor stacked shelving with, you know, boxes of materials. And yeah, and we were in there, and I'm holding the first page, and the lock closes on its own. It just goes...And I'm like, I'm looking at Julie, I'm like, “What is, what's happening?” We don't have our cell phones with us. I'm like, “Are we stuck in here? Like, what's gonna happen?”Jennie: In the scary archive- In this, I was terrified ... in the back of the scary house. Like-Caroline: I know, I know. It was like, you can't make this stuff up.That's why I was like, I [00:18:00] couldn't wait, when I finally got a chance to write the book and sit down and write, I was like, I can't wait to tell these stories, because they just... I, I'm not a fiction writer. Like, I, I have such mad respect for- I don't know about that ... well, I've m- We'll see I don't know. I have mad respect for people who can write fiction.For me, I only can write what I know and exper- So I'm like, ah. But these stories were just so amazing. Or like when I was reading The Shining, like the first draft of The Shining, which is crazy. I mean, it's so different from the published version. And like getting to the woman in room 217, and like reading th- and literally my head w- like I thought I was having a stroke.Like it was like, like... And it's like, and then I find an interview where Stephen King writes about how he was scared to go back to that scene when he was revising it, the book, because he was dreading it. And I was like, oh, my God, have I just like had some kind of telepathic experience with Stephen King?Like- Right ... across time, space, and yeah, it was amazing.Jennie: Well, yeah. I mean, [00:19:00] it's just, um, uh, I actually made myself go through the whole book skipping giant chunks.Caroline: I feel so badly I put you through this.Jennie: I know. I, I feel like why, I kept saying, “Why? Why did I think this was a good idea?” Um, and it- I mean, even just tangentially, I, I don't know.It's interesting. I have, I'm sure you have this too, anybody who reads a lot or spends a lot of time with words, you have a capacity to sort of pay half attention, if that makes sense.Caroline: Mm-hmm.Jennie: Um, like you c- could sort of look at it without letting it all the way in. Yeah. But I, I just was, I just was riveted by the thread of, of your story and your putting yourself through that as a scholar and a human.But, but then some really cool things happen, and I, and I have flagged, um... Do you, [00:20:00] w- would you mind reading a tiny piece? It's- No, not at all ... it's on page 82, and it's the p- the paragraph that starts, “These manuscripts.”Caroline: Yeah.Jennie: That would be amazing.Caroline: Absolutely. So this is actually the moment I just described to you, where my head was like, I got...Oh, actually, I had just discovered the last 150 pages of the original Shining manuscript in a random folder in the archives, and I was like, “What is this doing here?” And I was getting obsessive about the manuscripts at this point, clearly- Yeah. Yeah ... just like the main character in The Shining, Jack Torrance, who gets obsessed with the manu- with the papers in the basement of the Overlook Hotel.But here we go. “These manuscripts are definitely getting into my head, and not just its rational part. In his memoir, when King describes books as being a uniquely portable magic, he doesn't specify what kind of magic. What if manuscripts can absorb and store more than just ink and words? [00:21:00] What if their pages can pass on dark energy along with dark stories?Ghosts have more than one way of making sure their stories are heard, of ensuring that the past is not forgotten, but rather pressed into our minds, even if we wrench our heads off the pillow and refuse to listen.” And that last is a reference to my, I used to see a ghost when I was five, and I write about that in the book too.Jennie: I mean, when I read that, I was like, “That's, that's me.” Like, these ghosts and horrors are pressing themselves into my mind, and I'm refusing to listen, and they still, they still do. And, um, King's stories in particular are so iconic, you can't really escape them. Like, you, you know the scenarios, you know the characters, you know-Caroline: YeahJennie: you know. And, and so it was interesting for me reading this book that that described my [00:22:00] experience where I was both repelled and magnetized at the same time.Caroline: That's beautiful the way you just put that. I mean, I think that is exactly our relationship also, of course, to our own fears. You know, again, what makes these stories endure, and I didn't go into this book thinking like, “This is a book about promoting Stephen King,” and, you know- Rightlike, I don't work for Stephen King. I just want to put that out there. Right. He, you know, he graciously agreed to let me go into the archives. He's been very generous about answering all my questions I had about the manuscripts, but he never at any point was like, “You can't say this,” or, “This is how you're supposed to say this.”So, but what I came away with after this process was exactly what you're describing, why we need these stories, why they endure, actually, is because they tap into our very real human fears. It's not about the monsters. It's about the grief and loss that's coming for all of us if we live long enough, you know?So you, and you have to at some point confront that, you know? So if it's- Yeah ... you can [00:23:00] try to run away from it, but it's coming, and that's part of being human. That's the human experience, obviously. Not to be glib, but it's like-Jennie: Yeah ...Caroline: you will experience loss. You will experience grief. And if these stories help you metabolize that or have a cathartic experience with that feeling without having to actually experience your worst fear, right?Um, like Aristotle says, it's cathartic, right? It's you watch a play, a, a tragedy because you experience a catharsis.Jennie: And did you, did you get to that in your own process?Caroline: That's a really good question. Um- You know, I, I think I became more aware of it. You know, I am, you know, and I write about this very openly in the book, that I was an extremely anxious little kid, um, which is part of why I think the boogeyman triggered me in the particular way it did, you know.Um, and that I grew into a pretty [00:24:00] anxious adult, you know? Yeah. I think anxiety is one of those things that, you know, I... Again, I was born in the ‘60s, so we didn't have this language for this back then. Like, my parents wouldn't have known to call me an anxious child, you know? Right. They probably would've said, “Oh, she's shy,” or, “She's whatever.”Um, so I think I, you know, like, and I as an adult, I think I've, I've found ways to manage it pretty well, but I am definitely a control freak. Like, that's part of how I manage it. I shouldn't use that language, but you know, it's like I, I like to just control what I can control, and that makes me feel that I can put the anxiety at bay.So I will say I think it's been interesting for me, Nick, now when I have those moments that are my worst fear moments that sometimes still will creep up on me just even though when I think I've figured it out, like doom s- doom scenarios. I tend to go to doom scenarios. So, like, if I can't reach... Uh, I will say Life360 has been, like, the best invention on the planet for me-with my two kids [00:25:00] and my husband. I'm like, “I know exactly where everyone is.” Yeah. It has saved me a lot of worry. Sometimes Life360 doesn't work, or sometimes a person still doesn't answer the phone, and then I have to manage my anxie- And then it's like... So I will say it's been interesting going through this process and having to confront or revisit the core of what scares me and, like, why that impacts, you know, why certain moments come forward for me still.So I think, yeah, I think it has helped me to a degree. Like, I can recognize it more clearly now. I'm like, “Oh, right, that's why I'm scared of that,” you know? Um-Jennie: That's so cool.Caroline: Yeah.Jennie: And it feels like that's the, the, um, the transformation in the book is you're exploring how that actually works and the language and the stories.Mm-hmm. But you're, you're also exploring how it works in your own self, how it did when you were young, how it does now- Yeah ... these moments when you're scared. So it- Mm-hmm ... there's such [00:26:00] a depth to it and, I mean, I just, uh, even in my half reading of it, I just loved it. Thank you. And, um, there's something that happens That's kind of crazy, which is, so you're a Shakespeare scholarCaroline: Mm-hmmJennie: And I ha- I, I know from reading Steve, a- about Stephen King, from reading his book On Writing, of course, and, um, interviews and such that, uh, I'm, I'm probably gonna say this in a disrespectful way, and I don't mean it to be so, but the, the easiest way I can describe it is that he's always had sort of a chip on his shoulder that he's just a popular writer and not taken seriously in a literary way.Mm. I don't know if that's, if that is fair to say, but that's how I'm saying it. Uh,Caroline: yeah.Jennie: And, um, what, what I found incredible was that [00:27:00] here comes this Shakespeare scholar into his archives doing proper scholarly archiver, arch- archival work, and there's this moment when you begin to see Shakespearean themes in his, in his work, and you can't ignore it, and particularly in, in Carrie and- Yeahparticularly around exactly the thing you were wrestling with, which is like a young girl's- I don't know, sense of, of not being fitting in the world or, um-Caroline: Yeah ...Jennie: right? And so that, um, there's, on page, since you have the book in your hand, um, I think it's pageCaroline: 202. Mm-hmm.Jennie: And it refers back to that passage you just read about portable magic.It's the one that's I remembered.Caroline: [00:28:00] Right. Okay. So this is going back to when I first was, um, I was in the final round of the job for the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature, and I was working on a book about Shakespeare's, the girls in Shakespeare's plays and world and teenage girls and their cognition.Like, the how were people during Shakespeare's day thinking about girls' brains? Yeah. So I'd been working on this for 10 years. Um, and then I was getting ready to give my job talk. This was the first time Stephen King and Shakespeare came together for me, and it was getting ready, and this, again, this is an authentic story, like write what you know.So I was getting ready for the job talk. I remembered that King's 1974 novel, Carrie, featured a 16-year-old girl whose telekinetic powers are unleashed when she gets her first period in the school shower. I started rereading it, and within a few pages came across an uncanny phrase. When she's walking home after being dismissed early, Carrie feels her brain flexing in a new way, [00:29:00] as if her powers have been waiting below the surface for her to reach, quote, “mental puberty.”I couldn't have wordsmithed this dynamic cognitive change better myself. In the last part of my job talk, I used the phrase to connect the brain work of Juliet Capulet, who's described as being two weeks away from seeing the change of 14 years, to Carrie's newly activated adolescent mind. It felt like a moment of pure portable magic between Stephen King, Shakespeare, and me.Jennie: Ugh, so beautiful.Caroline: Oh, thank you. Yeah. I mean, that was just so gobsmacking. Like, when that happened, I was like, I ca- I can't believe it, but yeah.Jennie: And then, now I may be getting some of the things wrong here, but then you- You realize, is it Carrie that, that you realize he was, you thought he was emulating a play, a Shakespeare play?Caroline: I think you're thinking of Shining. I mean, definitely at the end of the Carrie [00:30:00] chapter I return to, I did notice echoes of Macbeth, and I was convinced that that must have been what he was thinking about. And, and what's funny is, so one of the conversations I got to have with him, I mean, he's so generous with his time, one of my last conversations with him was about the end of Carrie, and that's a book that he actually doesn't like very much.You know, it was his first published novel, he was 26, and he's like, “I think that was written by a young man who thought he knew more than he did.” So he's, it's not a book that he goes back to. He recognizes it's important, and it's important to him, but, ‘cause it started his whole career, his whole trajectory.Um, but he didn't particularly, he hasn't returned to it. Yeah. So that was a fun chance for me to sort of talk to him and say, “Hey, you know what? I think you should maybe go back,” ‘cause it's it's, there's a lot of Shakespeare in there. Anyway, but the Shining chapter, what was fascinating, so there's this first draft, which I, I write a lot about, called The Shine, that's in the archives, with a totally different ending.Um, and when I looked at it, [00:31:00] he'd also divided it into acts and scenes, like Roman numeral acts and little- Mm ... Roman numeral scenes. And I was like, “This, what is this? This is like a Shakespeare play.” Like, that's what it looked like. And then sure enough, I found out he was imagining, he was thinking of a Shakespeare tragedy when he wrote The Shining.And that was the first moment where I was like, “What? This is insane.” Like, this- Yeah ... like, ob- obviously that became, for me, the story I wanted to tell about that particular set of manuscripts, was sort of uncovering, like, what's the Shakespeare play? Like, what's the tragedy? And I didn't wanna ask him because I didn't want- I wanted to go in with my mind clear, like, of any outside influence.I just wanted to see what my Shakespeare brain, because I'm so embedded in Shakespeare. I also have a Shakespeare podcast I do with my best friend. Like, we're, I'm always thinking about Shakespeare and how it relates to everyday life. You know, and so I'm like, “Well, how does it relate to The Shining?” Which is, like, an ur-American text.Like, this, like, say what you want about horror, [00:32:00] like- I'd be shocked if people don't know what The Shining's about, even if they haven't read it even if they haven't seen the film. Like, you probably know something about The Shining, right? Right. So I was like, if there's a Shakespeare tragedy at the foundation of this, you know.And here's the thing about Stephen King that I came to learn, again, reading all of his notes and finding these edits, and I did find traces of Macbeth in the first draft of The Shine, um, that he ended up taking out. So I was like, “Oh, is it Macbeth? It feels like it could be Macbeth.” There's so many things it has in common with it, with hallucinations and with baby bashing.And, you know, all of these horrible things that are in Macbeth are certainly in that book. Um, but I really wanted to go in, like, just on an adventure, like, see what I saw. So I didn't ask him which chi- tragedy until I was fully done with all my research and I felt like I had it all done. And that's when he drops that he was thinking of Hamlet.And once he said that, of course, it became so ... I mean, I [00:33:00] had seen traces, there were references to Ophelia that also didn't make it into the final published draft. So you wouldn't know this. This is the beauty of archival work, like you're gonna see things that other people will never know about unless you tell the story.That's why I felt so passionate about this. Like, “I need to tell people-” Yeah ... “that Ophelia was in the first draft, that he was thinking of Ophelia.” ‘Cause of course, you know, again, even if you don't know The Shining, the woman in the tub, the woman in the bathtub, like a drowned woman in a tub, like ah, Ophelia.Yeah. Like Ophelia's another one of those ur, like she's so, she's such a part of our cultural air, right? I mean, like no matter what country you're in. Right. There's a reason Taylor Swift has a whole, you know, song The Fate of Ophelia. Like people know what that means. Um, so I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is, this is incredible.This is even deeper than I thought it was gonna be.” Um, but also it made me appreciate how much that book is about intergenerational trauma. Um, and it's not ... So he doesn't like the Kubrick film [00:34:00] for reasons that, you know, a couple different reasons. One is that it flattens out the character of Jack Torrance, and Jack Torrance is an abused child himself, and he passes on that abuse to his son, Danny, right?Um, but you wouldn't know that from Kubrick's film. While Hamlet, of course, is about a father's ghost coming forward. Like, “The past is a ghost,” King writes, which is so f- powerful, right? Um, here's this ghost saying, “You need to kill for me.”Jennie: Yeah.Caroline: Yeah. And that's what happens to Jack. Yeah, so anyway, that's a long way to say that wasEach chapter was my favorite in different ways, but that one I loved being able to do the deep Shakespeare dive.Jennie: And was that ... You know, so I started that question by saying I, I had heard or understood or maybe inferred that, um, you know, King himself had this sort of desire- Okay ... to be taken more seriously.Was that, that must have been, I don't know, powerful for both you and him, uh, to [00:35:00] come to that? Not like, “Oh, you're the only person that's ever made him feel that way” or-Caroline: Yeah,Jennie: no,Caroline: I agree ... or agree with that, but. Like I, yeah. And, um, I mean, I will say I think part of the reason he was always really ... I mean, first of all, he's just so generous, and any writer who's ever worked with him has the same experience.Like he just gives his time. He just loves writing and writers so much that he will just, he'll just t- like any email I would send him, he'd write back in like an hour with a response. The part about how he feels about academia, you know, and I never directly asked him that because I didn't wanna ... You know, if he wanted to bring it up, great.But I think- Yeah ... my, after going on this journey with him, he clearly loves talking about- literature. He's the most well-read person I've ever met. I'm just gonna say that hands down. Like, the guy reads- Really? ... cons- constantly and if you read his early works, like even when he was 17, he wrote The Long Walk, okay, which just came out as a film, [00:36:00] and in that, he's citing T.S.Eliot, he's cit- he's citing Poe at 17. Okay? So he's, he, he, this, he comes by this honestly. He's not just trying to seem smart. Like, he literally is constantly reading and it's clear when you read his manuscripts or when you read his published books, he's making references to all, whether it's Shirley Jackson or Wallace Stevens or, you know, uh, he's so capacious in his knowledge of literature.And, like, just a couple months ago, he sent me an email, I don't, I can't remember, we were talking about something about Salem's Lot, and he was like, “Yeah, when I was writing Salem's Lot,” which again, this is 1975 when he's writing Salem's Lot, so that's a long time ago. He's like, “I was really into James Dickey's poetry.”Jennie: Whoa.Caroline: You know, who was an American no, you know, poet laureate. Uh, he's like, “And I was reading everything I could read of, of his and then I read Deliverance, and then I went back to his poetry, and that really impacted how I wrote the chapters [00:37:00] about the Lot,” which if you've read Salem's Lot, has some very lyrical, poetic chapters about the town, like, “The town knew about darkness.The town had its secrets and knew how to kept it.” And then he, like, sends me the entire poem that he was thinking about that James Dickey wrote. So I mean, it's, he's, and it's not performative. He's not, like, he has nothing. He doesn't need to prove anything to me, you know?Jennie: Right, to anyone, yeah.Caroline: He just literally loves, he loves literature.Like, this guy, he loves poetry. I mean, he actually writes poetry. He wrote poetry as an undergraduate. Uh, it was actually the core start for him of The Stand, was a poem he wrote called The Dark Man one day when he was, like, hungover in the school, like, cafeteria. Like, so it's like he, he's been thinking about literature and living with literature and, uh, since he was a teenager, if not earlier.His mom brought him, uh, Bram Stoker out of the public library when he was nine, so I mean, the guy- Whoa ... ‘cause he asked for it. He asked for Dracula. [00:38:00] I wasn't reading Dracula when I was nine. Were you? I mean-Jennie: No,Caroline: no. I was reading Little House on the Prairie. I mean-Jennie: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Wow. Wow. So- I mean, this book, again, it's called Monsters in the Archives: My Year of Fear with Stephen King by Carolyn Bicks.It's just incredible, whether you're a King fan, whether you're a horror fan, um, but for sure for all writers, which are all our listeners. If you can, if you can bear it.It's very specific, um, a very specific- specific exploration of, of how good writing works really. Yeah. Right. And, and how you... You know, there's always that perennial question of how do you get emotion on the page? How do you make your reader feel something? And you, you show it very specifically, and I wanted so badly [00:39:00] to, to get into the details, and I, and I, I just, I just couldn't.Um, maybe someday, but, um, I just, I just can't recommend it enough for, for, um, this audience and, um, you know, anyone who's interested in any of these things we've talked about.Caroline: Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. And I will say, like, the Pet Sematary chapter, which is the first one, that was the first day I was in the archives.One of the things I discovered about him day one was how much attention he pays to word sounds. So I think for any writer interested in sort of doing a deep dive into, like, how one word change, right- Yeah ... can make a difference, you know? Yeah. And I didn't appreciate that about his writing until I went in there and saw his notes to the copy editor where he's like, “Nope, the word's clitter, not clatter.This is why.” You know? Like,Jennie: he's- There's a, um- Yeah ... yeah, there's a book I love, it's probably right behind me, um, called The Artful Edit by Susan Bell, in which she [00:40:00] shows examples of that kind of very careful change in, um, The Gre- The Great Gatsby and The English Patient and various works of, of literature, and your, your whole book is like that.It's, it's just amazing. Um- Thank you ... so is the next book gonna be the Shakespeare one you had thought of before? Or are you gonna- ... go in the, in the personal direction?Caroline: You know, it's such a good question. I think right now I'm just taking a break, you know, because I'm the kind... Like, I immerse myself in a project, and this has been so all-consuming.Um, and I'm back to doing my Everyday Shakespeare podcast, which I love and I missed. Um, so I'm doing that. And I, I really don't like to think too far ahead about what I'm going to write. I like to have it come organically.Jennie: Yeah.Caroline: Um, so I could go back into the archives. I could write another one of these kinds of books, but I don't know if that's the [00:41:00] right thing for me right now.Jennie: Yeah.Caroline: Um, I want to make sure whatever I write next- You know, I loved writing this book so much. It's my favorite... I mean, it's, it was such a powerful experience for me, um, because I could bring my personal experiences into it and my scholarly self into it. I don't... You know, it's gonna be hard to recreate that.Yeah. I think it can be done, but I don't wanna force it. Yeah. So I'm gonna wait and see what the next, what the next oneJennie: is. Don't you, don't you love the interviewer who's like, “Hey, congratulations. You wrote a book. What, what's your nextCaroline: one?” What are you working on now? What are you doing now? I know. And I get that.I'm like-Jennie: So mean ...Caroline: I'm just, I'm just reading books I wanna read. I'm doing my laundry. I'm getting to know my dog again. You know?Jennie: Oh, wow. Well, thankCaroline: you. But, you know, it's a fair question. Yeah.Jennie: Yeah, yeah. Thank you for coming and chatting about this, and for writing such a cool book. And- Thank you ... um, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do next.Caroline: Thank you, Jennie. It was a [00:42:00] pleasure.Jennie: Well, for our listeners, until next time, stop playing small and write like it matters.The #amwriting podcast is produced by Andrew Perilla. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday, was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output because everyone deserves to be paid for their work This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

This week on "Modern Love," we're bringing you one of our favorite conversations from our friends at "The Interview." Speaking to host Lulu Garcia-Navarro, the comedian and actor Robby Hoffman says class and the way she grew up inform everything about the way she lives now. • Thoughts? Email us at theinterview@nytimes.com • Watch our show on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheInterviewPodcast • For transcripts and more, visit: nytimes.com/theinterview Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Today we interview Lindsey Goldstein about her book, GAP YEAR.One of her early publications was an adorable personal essay she wrote for THE NEW YORK TIMES' Modern Love column: At the cusp of 40, Lindsey decided there was only gain to try her hand at becoming a novelist. She wrote her first novel in her early 40s. GAP YEAR was her third novel and first published one.GAP YEAR takes place in Ecuador, where Lindsey has visited and has swum with the penguins and sea lions, just as Jane did in GAP YEAR. Lindsey, like Jane, also had a gap year (traditional one, though!) and stayed in a hostel. We explore other ways Lindsey pulled from her own experiences, including those as a friend, daughter, and mother to bring realism to the novel.We talk about youthful dreams and the importance of pursuing those that are meaningful to you, even if in just small steps.Lindsey tells us how other authors have inspired her passions and her writing, including:Bill Bryson's A WALK IN THE WOODSRebecca Serle's IN FIVE YEARSAshley Poston's alternate reality booksLinny and Nancy discuss the REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES series and reminisce about how much they loved chatting with author Shelby Van Pelt.Episode 71: Our review of REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURESEpisode 72: Our chat with Shelby Van Pelt, author of REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) — Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: ⁠https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join⁠ Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes and learn more at:⁠ OLDPodcast.com⁠. Episode 3066: Alysha Jeney explores how early experiences can shape struggles with intimacy, fear of abandonment, and the tendency to shut down during conflict. She offers practical ways to build trust, communicate needs, and create healthier patterns of connection with a partner. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.modernlovecounseling.com/ways-your-childhood-impacts-your-relationship/ Quotes to ponder: "Intimacy requires trust. Trust requires consistency and risk taking." "It's a scary little dance, but it's all worth it in the end if you allow safe people in." "The more the two of you can work together at giving each other what you need to feel safe, the better chances you have to repairing effectively." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get the 200+ Page Optimal Living Daily Workbook (PDF) — Free. Want to turn today's episode into an actionable plan? Join the Optimal Living Weekly newsletter and I'll send you our 200-page digital workbook immediately. It's packed with the best takeaways from the show, formatted for easy reading and implementation at home. Get your free PDF workbook here: ⁠https://oldpodcast.eo.page/join⁠ Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes and learn more at:⁠ OLDPodcast.com⁠. Episode 3065: Alysha Jeney explores how childhood experiences shape the way we trust others and seek reassurance in our adult relationships. She explains how early bonds with parents and caregivers can create insecurities that influence our reactions, while offering practical steps for developing self-awareness, self-validation, and healthier connections. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.modernlovecounseling.com/ways-your-childhood-impacts-your-relationship/ Quotes to ponder: "Trust is the foundation of any relationship." "Often, our parents “did the best that they could with what they had,” but that doesn't mean the impact of those tools (or lack of) should be dismissed." "If we forge an insecure bond with our parents or caretakers in infancy and childhood, we innately develop a sense of insecurity and doubt in ourselves." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the chef, writer and filmmaker Eddie Huang joined the “Modern Love” podcast to discuss his new novel, “Come Undone,” our host Anna Martin asked him to start by reading a few lines from his 2017 guest essay for The New York Times. In it, Huang called out stereotypical portrayals of Asian men that have persisted in pop culture: “Every Asian American man knows what the dominant culture has to say about us,” Huang read. “We count good, we bow well … our male anatomy is the size of a thumb drive and we could never in a thousand millenniums be a threat to steal your girl.”  Rereading his old piece took Huang right back to his childhood, to when he was targeted by kids who assumed he was an easy mark. Huang said he created a tough exterior in response, becoming someone whom no one wanted to pick a fight with. That tough kid grew up into a tough man who rarely let his sensitive inner self show, a persona that sounds a lot like the main character of Huang's new book.  In this episode, Huang explains how he is both similar to and different from his fictional character, how his own ideas of masculinity have changed and what it was like to finally let himself be vulnerable with someone after years of pretending not to be. How to submit a Modern Love Essay How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Elizabeth and Jeff were best friends. They did everything together, from early-morning runs to late-night karaoke sessions. They came up with secret code names for each other and went on undercover missions in their neighborhood. They fought, and made up, and fought some more. Beneath their playful dynamic, an attraction was growing between them, but Elizabeth never wanted to risk the friendship by exploring it. Then Jeff got sick, and things changed. In this episode, the story of a once-in-a-lifetime friendship, from the very beginning to the very end. This episode is adapted from Elizabeth Laura Nelson's 2024 essay Friends for 16 Years. Lovers for One Night. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Get your hand-picked playbook here: https://www.figuringout.co/pdf/fo-525Guest Suggestion Form: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://forms.gle/bnaeY3FpoFU9ZjA47⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Disclaimer: This video is intended solely for educational purposes and opinions shared by the guest are his personal views. We do not intent to defame or harm any person/ brand/ product/ country/ profession mentioned in the video. Our goal is to provide information to help audience make informed choices. The media used in this video are solely for informational purposes and belongs to their respective owners.(00:00) - Intro(02:08) - Why Are Marriages at Risk?(07:03) - Indians Don't Like Successful Women(15:06) - What Do Men and Women Want in Relationships?(23:25) - Why Do Women Think Marriage Isn't Worth It?(26:57) - The Bare Minimum Concept(32:05) - What Is the Horseshoe Magnet Theory?(33:23) - What Is Anticipatory Grief?(37:15) - Why Do We Focus on the Negatives?(42:01) - What Is the Audition Effect?(46:23) - AI Boyfriends & Girlfriends(50:30) - How Will Sx Robots Fulfill Emotional Needs?(56:40) - How Will the Marriage Crisis Affect Us?(1:06:58) - Why Is There a Sx Recession?(1:12:29) - Is It the Ick Factor or Fear of Commitment?(1:15:06) - What Is Self-Partnering?(1:19:42) - What Happens When Ghosting Becomes Normal?(1:22:14) - Why Are Live-In Relationships Booming in India?(1:29:45) - Feminism Will End in the Future(1:35:40) - Will Traditional Gender Roles Return?(1:39:26) - Are Unemployed Men Treated Differently?(1:55:40) - Rise of Extramarital Affair Apps in India(2:01:51) - The "Richie Rich Wife" Concept(2:06:45) - An AI That Filters Caste on Dating Apps(2:09:00) - Why Are More Young People Turning to Religion?(2:13:12) - Gen Z Trends: Fad or Here to Stay?(2:22:01) - Why Are Women Becoming More Progressive and Men More Conservative?(2:26:57) - 3 Predictions by Sandeep Das(2:30:37) - BTS(2:30:59) - OutroIn today's episode, we sit down with Sandeep Das Leadership Coach, Visiting Faculty at IIM Bangalore & IIM Lucknow, and best-selling author to understand why marriage as an institution may be heading toward collapse.Subscribe for more such conversations.Follow Sandeep Das here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sandeepdasauthor/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠About Raj ShamaniRaj Shamani is an Entrepreneur at heart that explains his expertise in Business Content Creation & Public Speaking. He has delivered 200+ speeches in 26+ countries. Besides that, Raj is also an Angel Investor interested in crazy minds who are creating a sensation in the Fintech, FMCG, & passion economy space.To Know More,Follow Raj Shamani On ⤵︎Instagram @RajShamani ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/rajshamani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter @RajShamani ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/rajshamani⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook @ShamaniRaj ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/shamaniraj⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn - Raj Shamani ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/rajshamani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠About Figuring OutFiguring Out Podcast is a Candid Conversations University where Raj Shamani brings raw conversations with the Top 1% in India.

Growing up, Julian Brave NoiseCat's father, Ed Archie NoiseCat, wasn't around much. Other than the occasional ride to hockey practice from his dad, Julian mostly remembers the legends about him. Ed is an artist, famous for his wood carvings and larger-than-life stories. Julian remembers seeing him on the cover of Native Peoples magazine and hearing about his escapades driving across the country. What Julian could never understand, however, was why his dad couldn't just be his dad, and be there consistently. For years, Julian didn't have much contact with his father, but when he was 28, he decided to change that. He was working on the documentary “Sugarcane,” later nominated for an Academy Award, and writing his book, “We Survived the Night,” published last year. Both projects deeply involved his father and their family's history. So Julian moved into his dad's house. During the day, he would research and write, and at night, he would hang out with his father, playing “bong-hit Scrabble” and forging a relationship they previously never had. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Julian explains what those nights with his father meant to him, and how uncovering a dark chapter of his family's history helped him and his father better understand each other. He also reflects on his own journey to fatherhood. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story.   Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Betsy Vereckey is the author of the newly published memoir "Moving to My Dog's Hometown," which is a Kirkus-recommended pick and a finalist for Publisher's Weekly BookLife Prize. She started her writing career as a journalist for the Associated Press in Athens, Greece, and later worked for the AP in Louisville, Kentucky and in New York City. Her personal essays have appeared in "The New York Times'" Modern Love column, "The Boston Globe," "Food & Wine" magazine, and "New York Magazine." She volunteers at the Vermont Institute for Natural Science with injured birds, gives astrology readings and lives in a really old Vermont farmhouse with her husband and three crazy terriers. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/betsyvereckey/Substack: https://substack.com/@elizabetsyWebpage: https://betsyvereckey.comConnect and tag me at:https://www.instagram.com/realangelabradford/You can subscribe to my YouTube Channel herehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDU9L55higX03TQgq1IT_qQFeel free to leave a review on all major platforms to help get the word out and change more lives!

This episode was originally published on March 3, 2017. "Whatever"— that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. She wrote about the evolution of her own family structure in her 2013 Modern Love column for The New York Times, "Coming Out As a Modern Family," which she later turned into the book, "Whatever...Love is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves."

Host Jason Blitman is joined by debut novelist Haili Blassingame to hear about what she's been reading and learn about her book, They All Fall in Love at the End. Haili Blassingame is a producer for the NPR program 1A. She has written for publications like The New Republic and The New York Times, in which she published the viral “My Choice Isn't Marriage or Loneliness” for “Modern Love”. She was one of twelve essayists selected to write a follow-up piece for the column's 20th anniversary in October 2024. She's also been a guest on the Modern Love podcast, NPR's Life Kit, and NPR's 1A. She previously worked on NPR's Code Switch and Weekend Edition. She is pursuing an MFA in creative writing from American University. She lives in Washington, DC.Sign up for the Gays Reading Book Club HERESUBSTACK! MERCH! WATCH! CONTACT! hello@gaysreading.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Laverne Cox never fit in as a child in Mobile, Ala. But she really didn't want to. From an early age, she knew she was going to be a star, and she was right. Decades later, Cox would break through as Sophia Burset on Netflix's “Orange Is the New Black,” and become the first openly transgender person to be nominated for an Emmy Award in an acting category.  In this episode of “Modern Love,” Cox talks about her new memoir, “Transcendent.” She tells the story of how she became the star she always knew she was, the men she loved along the way and how she learned to fully love herself.  How to submit a Modern Love EssayHow to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Baltimore's harbor is calm, but resident artist Joan Cox is gathering momentum. Since her last appearance with NOT REAL ART, she's been named a finalist for the Baker Artist Award, recognized among London's Top 100 International Artists, and seen her intimate portraits circulate through exhibitions and publications. A past NOT REAL ART grant winner (2022), Joan is known for capturing the “energy field” of love between women. Now, her work takes center stage in NOT REAL ART's Modern Love exhibition, running online at notrealart.com this spring.In conversation with host Scott “Sourdough” Power, Joan reflects on the work of recording contemporary queer intimacy. She describes her process, from asking strangers to sit for her, to searching for the subtle charge that passes between couples, all while managing the demands of a full-time career and raising a middle-schooler.Her canvases are lush and unscripted, dense with narrative detail—bedroom Buddhas, floral wallpaper in the corner of a bar. Beneath the surface, each painting offers an act of correction, adding a page to art history where overlooked couples are seen, valued, and, at last, collected.Where to Connect & ExperienceSee Joan Cox's latest work in Modern Love.Follow Joan on Instagram for in-progress shots and behind-the-scenes studio news.Learn more about the NOT REAL ART Grant. Episode CreditsHost: Scott ‘Sourdough' PowerGuest: Joan Cox, Baltimore-based painter focused on queer intimacy, identity, and representation; NOT REAL ART grant winner.Production: Crewest Studio, Los AngelesTheme Music: Ricky Peugeot & Desi DeLauro of Parlor SocialSubscribe to NOT REAL ART for future episodes, follow us on Instagram, and join the conversation.

In this ScreenFish 1on1 Interview, Will Angus (Davis Beau Barrett Bradley III), Jack Martin (Josh Teitelbaum), and Nicholas Duvernay (Kel Washington), stars of NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK, discuss the sitcoms that shaped them growing up and how those influences informed their performances. They reflect on collaborating with Mindy Kaling, what their characters are truly searching for, and whether balancing career ambitions with a love life has become harder in the modern age, blending humor with heartfelt insight.The first three episodes of NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK is available on Hulu on Disney+ on June 2nd, 2026 with new episodes weekly afterwards.

Mark Duplass and Katie Aselton's lives are completely intertwined. They've been married for almost 20 years while collaborating on films, raising children and spending as much time together as possible. The two see the same therapist, are nearly constantly touching each other and find it hard to function when one of them is away, a dynamic they describe as codependent. Their codependency is the inspiration for their new film “Magic Hour,” which they co-wrote and which Aselton directs and stars in. For the couple, codependency has added real depth and beauty to their relationship to the point they think the entire concept needs a rebranding. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Duplass and Aselton make their case for codependency, explain what it has enabled in their lives and share what they've had to sacrifice to maintain it. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3020: Alysha Jeney shares how lasting, healthy relationships begin with deep self-awareness, emotional accountability, and the willingness to confront old wounds and unhealthy patterns. Through her own journey of healing, therapy, and vulnerability, she reveals how personal growth can transform the way we connect, communicate, and build trust with others. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.modernlovecounseling.com/healthy-successful-relationship/ Quotes to ponder: "Building understanding within yourself is essential to promoting long-term success in your relationship(s)." "Be honest and vulnerable with yourself and it will take you and your relationship in a whole new direction." "The foundation of a successful relationship is self-awareness, so it is crucial to start there." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another episode of Late Boomers, our new reality where we, Cathy and Merry, dive into what life looks like after 50, 60, and beyond! In this episode, we're talking all about modern love, late-in-life relationships, and the big question: Should you get married later in life, or is companionship enough? Inspired by a fascinating AARP magazine article, we explore everything from dating apps and living apart together to estate planning, finances, and finding purpose and joy in relationships as mature adults.Navigating relationships in your later years brings unique questions: Should you remarry or simply enjoy companionship? How important are legal commitments like marriage, especially when finances, family, and independence are at play? We open up about widowhood, the desire for independence, the realities of estate planning, and the dynamics of blending families after 50. Plus, we share our honest thoughts on dating apps, common red flags, and what commitment really looks like today.Key TakeawaysRedefining Relationships: Love and relationships after 50 are less about traditional expectations and more about comfort, independence, and honesty. Many boomers are discovering that “living apart together” offers both romance and breathing room for personal growth 03:03.Finances & Family: Marriage later in life has important financial and legal implications, including taxes, Social Security, inheritance, and healthcare 05:23. Estate planning is crucial—especially when children from previous relationships are involved.Commitment Without Marriage: A deep, committed relationship doesn't always need a legal contract. Emotional support, exclusivity, and shared life experiences can define partnership at this stage 24:18.Caregiving Concerns: Health issues and caregiving responsibilities weigh heavily on relationship decisions later in life 17:16. Discussing medical directives and power of attorney is essential even outside of marriage 18:14.Modern Dating: Dating apps are increasingly popular, even among people in their 70s and 80s! But they require dedication and can bring new challenges like love bombing, ghosting, and financial scams 11:07.Red Flags & Emotional Availability: Be aware of manipulative behaviors, financial exploitation, and emotional unavailability. Mature dating comes with its own set of risks and benefits 21:09.Are you navigating love and relationships after 50? Have you chosen to remarry, live apart together, or skip marriage entirely? We want to hear YOUR story and insights! Leave a comment on our YouTube channel, share your experiences, or suggest topics you'd like Cathy and Merry to discuss on future episodes. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review Late Boomers wherever you listen and help us redefine what life, love, and happiness can be later in life.Thank you for tuning in to Late Boomers, our new reality, your new inspiration!Cathy & MerryMentioned in this episode:Late Boomers is part of the eWomenPodcastNetwork. eWomenPodcastNetwork

Everyone I know my age has a theory about why dating got so grim. My guest this week has a different one, and it stung a little.Scot McKay has coached men and women through dating for twenty years, and in all that time, I'd never once interviewed a male dating coach. He's blunt, a bit contrarian, and he made a case I wasn't expecting.If you're struggling with unreliable erections, check out my new program: https://www.stayfirmprogram.comReady to Go Deeper?Upgrade to unlock more confidence, clarity, and pleasure in your intimate life.As a paid subscriber, you'll get:✨ Full access to my sexy stories

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 3019: Alysha Jeney challenges the idea that better communication alone creates lasting love, arguing instead that successful relationships are built through shared commitment, self-awareness, vulnerability, and mutual respect. Her insights reveal how emotional honesty and personal growth deepen intimacy, helping couples create real security even through conflict and difficult seasons. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://www.modernlovecounseling.com/healthy-successful-relationship/ Quotes to ponder: “A healthy, successful relationship” is an evolution of two people that possess the same level of commitment, self-awareness/vulnerability and mutual respect.” “Creating a successful relationship is more about knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge when you're reacting in a way that is pushing your partner away.” “You cannot effectively communicate if you are always defensive, hurtful or shutdown.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elle Russ chats with Rob Mack about the modern state of dating, relationships, loneliness, happiness, and human connection in an increasingly disconnected world. Together, they explore everything from dating app fatigue, commitment paralysis, and "strategic singledom" to the rise of polyamory, self-awareness culture, trauma patterns, friendship, and the misunderstood meaning of "alpha" traits in men and women. Drawing from both positive psychology research and personal experience, Elle and Rob unpack the emotional realities behind modern relationships with humor, insight, honesty, and philosophical depth. The conversation dives into modern loneliness, the paradox of choice, attachment, self-worth, emotional presence, and why learning to enjoy your own company may be one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. www.coachrobmack.com   FREEBIES: Free Thyroid Guide + Video Series: https://www.elleruss.com/thyroid-guide Free Confidence eBook & Workbook: https://www.elleruss.com/7secrets Elle's website: https://www.elleruss.com   #theellerussshow

On the nuances of grief and loss, personal rituals, and our willingness to be transformed.  0:00 — Introduction and Guest Introduction 3:04 — Marissa's Personal Story and Grief Journey 7:38 — Building a Grief Plan 13:24 — Understanding Trauma and Its Impact 17:27 — Boundaries and Self-Care 22:52 — The Role of Prayer and Rituals 28:22 — Memorializing Losses and Rituals 32:18 — Connecting with Nature and Finding Support 37:46 — Conclusion and Final Thoughts Merissa Nathan Gerson is the author of Forget Prayers, Bring Cake: A Single Woman's Guide to Grieving, and her writing appears in Modern Love for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Playboy, Tablet, CNN.com and beyond. Merissa trained in Shambhala Shamatha meditation, graduated with an MFA in Writing and Poetics from Naropa University, is a certified Sivananda yoga teacher, and holds an MA in Jewish Studies with a focus on inherited trauma as well as sex and gender from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, California. She was the Inherited Trauma consultant to Amazon's Transparent and is the daughter and granddaughter of war refugees. She is currently training to be a rabbi. Forget Prayers, Bring Cake: A Single Woman's Guide to Grieving came out in 2021 from Mandala Press for Simon & Schuster. This book is a companion for these times. As McArthur Genius Kiese Laymon describes: "Merissa Gerson has created a neon treatise on the art and necessity of grieving."

Lauren Bans was seven months pregnant when she realized she needed a divorce. Suddenly, she found herself heartbroken, terrified, and completely unable to make decisions or think about the future. One day, her sister suggested they visit an escape room. As the door locked and the countdown began, Bans found herself enraptured by the puzzles, forgetting her reality for a moment and feeling like herself again. She was hooked and went back to escape rooms over and over. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Bans tells Anna Martin about her unique cure for heartbreak, and how making decisions in a fictional puzzle room helped her feel capable of making them in real life again, too. Read Lauren's story in The New York Times Magazine. We want to know: How has A.I. changed your relationships? Send us a voice memo. How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

My guest is Caroline Bicks, whose new book Monsters in the Archives: My Year of Fear with Stephen King (Hogarth, 2026) became a bestseller shortly after release. After she was named the University of Maine's inaugural Stephen E. King Chair in Literature, Caroline Bicks became the first scholar to be granted extended access by King to his private archives, a treasure trove of manuscripts that document the legendary writer's creative process—most of them never before studied or published. The year she spent exploring King's early drafts and hand-written revisions was guided by one question: What makes Stephen King's writing stick in our heads and haunt us long after we've closed the book?Bicks focuses on five early works—The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, 'Salem's Lot, and Night Shift—to reveal how he crafted his language, storylines, and characters. While tracking King's margin notes and editorial changes, she discovered scenes and alternative endings that never made it to print, but that King is allowing her to publish now. The book also includes interviews Bicks had with King along the way that reveal new insights into his writing process and personal history.Monsters in the Archives—authorized by Stephen King himself—is unlike anything ever published about the master of horror. It chronicles what Bicks found when she set out to unearth how King crafted some of his scariest, most iconic moments. But it's also a story about a grown-up English professor facing her childhood fears and getting to know the man whose monsters helped unleash them. --------- Caroline Bicks is the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine, where she teaches courses in Shakespeare, early modern culture, and horror fiction. She is the author of Cognition and Girlhood in Shakespeare's World and Midwiving Subjects in Shakespeare's England; co-­ author of Shakespeare, Not Stirred: Cocktails for Your Everyday Dramas; and co-­ host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast. Her essays and humor pieces have appeared in the Modern Love column  of the New York Times, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and the show Afterbirth. She lives in Blue Hill, Maine, with her family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

My guest is Caroline Bicks, whose new book Monsters in the Archives: My Year of Fear with Stephen King (Hogarth, 2026) became a bestseller shortly after release. After she was named the University of Maine's inaugural Stephen E. King Chair in Literature, Caroline Bicks became the first scholar to be granted extended access by King to his private archives, a treasure trove of manuscripts that document the legendary writer's creative process—most of them never before studied or published. The year she spent exploring King's early drafts and hand-written revisions was guided by one question: What makes Stephen King's writing stick in our heads and haunt us long after we've closed the book?Bicks focuses on five early works—The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, 'Salem's Lot, and Night Shift—to reveal how he crafted his language, storylines, and characters. While tracking King's margin notes and editorial changes, she discovered scenes and alternative endings that never made it to print, but that King is allowing her to publish now. The book also includes interviews Bicks had with King along the way that reveal new insights into his writing process and personal history.Monsters in the Archives—authorized by Stephen King himself—is unlike anything ever published about the master of horror. It chronicles what Bicks found when she set out to unearth how King crafted some of his scariest, most iconic moments. But it's also a story about a grown-up English professor facing her childhood fears and getting to know the man whose monsters helped unleash them. --------- Caroline Bicks is the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine, where she teaches courses in Shakespeare, early modern culture, and horror fiction. She is the author of Cognition and Girlhood in Shakespeare's World and Midwiving Subjects in Shakespeare's England; co-­ author of Shakespeare, Not Stirred: Cocktails for Your Everyday Dramas; and co-­ host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast. Her essays and humor pieces have appeared in the Modern Love column  of the New York Times, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and the show Afterbirth. She lives in Blue Hill, Maine, with her family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/literary-studies

My guest is Caroline Bicks, whose new book Monsters in the Archives: My Year of Fear with Stephen King (Hogarth, 2026) became a bestseller shortly after release. After she was named the University of Maine's inaugural Stephen E. King Chair in Literature, Caroline Bicks became the first scholar to be granted extended access by King to his private archives, a treasure trove of manuscripts that document the legendary writer's creative process—most of them never before studied or published. The year she spent exploring King's early drafts and hand-written revisions was guided by one question: What makes Stephen King's writing stick in our heads and haunt us long after we've closed the book?Bicks focuses on five early works—The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, 'Salem's Lot, and Night Shift—to reveal how he crafted his language, storylines, and characters. While tracking King's margin notes and editorial changes, she discovered scenes and alternative endings that never made it to print, but that King is allowing her to publish now. The book also includes interviews Bicks had with King along the way that reveal new insights into his writing process and personal history.Monsters in the Archives—authorized by Stephen King himself—is unlike anything ever published about the master of horror. It chronicles what Bicks found when she set out to unearth how King crafted some of his scariest, most iconic moments. But it's also a story about a grown-up English professor facing her childhood fears and getting to know the man whose monsters helped unleash them. --------- Caroline Bicks is the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine, where she teaches courses in Shakespeare, early modern culture, and horror fiction. She is the author of Cognition and Girlhood in Shakespeare's World and Midwiving Subjects in Shakespeare's England; co-­ author of Shakespeare, Not Stirred: Cocktails for Your Everyday Dramas; and co-­ host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast. Her essays and humor pieces have appeared in the Modern Love column  of the New York Times, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and the show Afterbirth. She lives in Blue Hill, Maine, with her family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/literature

When people stop Ramy Youssef on the street, it's usually not because they're mega-fans of his comedy. Instead, they mostly just want to pet his dog. It's not until they walk away, he says, that they recognize him from his semiautobiographical sitcom, "Ramy," or his latest special, "Ramy Youssef: In Love." In fact, Youssef's dog, Basha, is a big part of the special and has become a major part of his life, even if he does sometimes steal the spotlight. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Youssef tells Anna Martin, our host, what he has learned about unconditional love from Basha. He reads a Modern Love essay from the archive, in which the writer describes working at an animal rescue and how watching humans in the midst of the adoption process redeemed them a little in her eyes. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Isabel Allende began writing daily letters to her mother when she was a teenager. Over the next several decades, they exchanged over 24,000 of them. Allende credits their letter writing with removing the need for small talk and creating a deep bond between them. Knowing that she had to write to her mother every day pushed her to pay attention to her life in a way that, she says, was central to her becoming a writer.  Letters have been a throughline in her books as well. Allende's best-selling novel, “The House of the Spirits,” began as a letter to her dying grandfather. “The House of the Spirits” has just been adapted into a new TV series, and the connection between mothers and daughters is central to this multigenerational saga. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Allende tells the host Anna Martin about the transformative power of letter writing on her relationships and career.  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Want to support the podcast? Join our Patreon or buy us a coffee. As an independent podcast, Shakespeare Anyone? is supported by listeners like you. In this episode, we are joined by author and Shakespeare scholar, Caroline Bicks, to discuss her latest book, Monsters in the Archive: My Year of Fear with Stephen King. Caroline will share with us how Shakespeare some of Stephen King's most famous works, and the surprising similarities she discovered between Shakespeare's writing and King's.  Monsters in the Archive: My Year of Fear with Stephen King is out now.  About Caroline Bicks Caroline Bicks is the Stephen E. King Chair in Literature at the University of Maine, where she teaches courses in Shakespeare, early modern culture, and horror fiction. She is the author of Cognition and Girlhood in Shakespeare's World and Midwiving Subjects in Shakespeare's England; co-author of Shakespeare, Not Stirred: Cocktails for Your Everyday Dramas; and co-host of the Everyday Shakespeare podcast. Her essays and humor pieces have appeared in the Modern Love column of the New York Times, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, and the show Afterbirth. She lives in Blue Hill, Maine, with her family. About Monsters in the Archives: My Year of Fear with Stephen King After Caroline Bicks was named the University of Maineʼs inaugural Stephen E. King Chair in Literature, she became the first scholar to be granted extended access by King to his private archives, a treasure trove of manuscripts that document the legendary writerʼs creative process—most of them never before studied or published. The year she spent exploring King's early drafts and hand-written revisions was guided by one question millions of Kingʼs enthralled and terrified readers (including her) have asked themselves: What makes Stephen King's writing stick in our heads and haunt us long after we've closed the book? Bicks focuses on five of his most iconic early works—The Shining, Carrie, Pet Sematary, ʼSalemʼs Lot, and Night Shift—to reveal how he crafted his language, story lines, and characters to cast his enduring literary spells. While tracking King's margin notes and editorial changes, she discovered scenes and alternative endings that never made it to print but that King is allowing her to publish now. The book also includes interviews Bicks had with King along the way that reveal new insights into his writing process and personal history. Part literary master class, part biography, part memoir and investigation into our deepest anxieties, Monsters in the Archives—authorized by Stephen King himself—is unlike anything ever published about the master of horror. It chronicles what Bicks found when she set out to unearth how King crafted some of his scariest, most iconic moments. But it's also a story about a grown-up English professor facing her childhood fears and getting to know the man whose monsters helped unleash them. Shakespeare Anyone? is created and produced by Kourtney Smith and Elyse Sharp. Music is "Neverending Minute" by Sounds Like Sander. For updates: Join our email list Follow us on Instagram at @shakespeareanyonepod Visit our website at shakespeareanyone.com Support the podcast: Become a patron at patreon.com/shakespeareanyone  Buy us a coffee Bookshop.org: Since 2020, Bookshop.org has raised more than $38 million for independent bookstores. Shop our Shakespeare Anyone? storefront to find books featured on the podcast, books by our guests, and other Shakespeare-related books and gifts. Every purchase on the site financially supports independent bookstores. Libro.fm: Libro.fm makes it possible to purchase audiobooks through your local bookshop of choice. Use our link for 2 free audiobooks when you sign up for a new Libro.fm membership using our link. Find additional links mentioned in the episode in our Linktree.  

Tracy Clark-Flory was 16 when she learned something that would change her world forever: She had a half sister she'd never met. Tracy's mother, Deborah, had gotten pregnant as a freshman in college. She'd given birth to a baby girl in secret and placed the baby for adoption. Tracy could tell that talking about this baby made her mom uncomfortable, so she didn't pry. But from that moment on, Tracy was full of questions. Where was this sister? What was her life like? Would she want to hear from Tracy if there was a way to get in touch? These days, Clark-Flory is a writer, and she is a mother herself. She has a new memoir coming out called “My Mother's Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family's Fractured Past.” In this episode of the “Modern Love” podcast, Clark-Flory tells Anna Martin how she finally got answers about her sister. She also shares what she found out about her mom: Turns out, there was so much more to her story, too. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A talk from the 2026 Mockingbird Conference in NYC, Wow to the Deadness: Wonder for the Weary. April 24, 2026. Property of Mockingbird Ministries, all rights reserved (www.mbird.com).

Are you tired of feeling like you have to choose between keeping the peace and being true to yourself in your relationships? Many people mistake silence for harmony, stuffing down their true feelings for fear of conflict, only to wake up one day feeling unheard, unseen, and disconnected. But what if speaking up—being honest about your needs and setting boundaries—was actually the path to deeper connection and intimacy, not the source of division? In this episode, listeners are invited to rethink what it means to be authentic in close relationships, especially when it comes to sharing hard truths or setting limits. You'll hear insights on why self-assertion is not about ruining relationships, but about bringing your whole self into them. By exploring practical strategies, emotional tools, and real-life examples, this conversation guides you in overcoming the fear of rocking the boat—so you can communicate courageously and build relationships where both people feel truly known and valued. Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself. A Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer known for her work with relationships and communication, her essay "Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself" was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020. She has been featured as an expert in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPost, Fatherly, and the Bumble site, The Buzz.   Episode Highlights 04:03 The link between speaking up, emotional intimacy, and common gendered roles. 07:18 Navigating differences: collaboration, needs, and the relationship as a system. 12:40 Embracing discomfort and staying present with unresolved issues. 13:53 The importance of vulnerability and framing difficult conversations safely. 17:02 Applying healthy pressure: strengthening or releasing relationships. 19:56 Recognizing the "shock absorber" role and its impact on self and intimacy. 23:10 Identifying "shock magnets": escalation, withdrawal, and unhealthy conflict cycles. 27:29 Communicating effectively with kindness. 30:38 Defining self-possession and its role in relational health. 32:49 Using internal signals and "weathervane" emotions for personal growth. 38:11 Building emotional maturity: self-compassion, timeouts, and ongoing practice. 40:38 Understanding and managing emotional activation. 42:42 Addressing hidden relationship dynamics and the importance of modeling boundaries. 48:21 Exploring possibilities: challenging feelings of being trapped and opening to choice. 51:41 Putting clarity into practice: actionable tools and lasting relationship change.   Your Checklist of Actions to Take Practice Soft Startups: Begin hard conversations with vulnerability and clarity about your intentions rather than leading with anger or accusation to lower defensiveness in your partner. Name Your Emotions: Before raising a difficult topic, identify and share your underlying emotions, such as fear, anxiety, or longing, to increase openness. Set Boundaries with Clarity: Clearly state what is not working for you in the relationship and propose specific changes, avoiding blame or generalizations. Tolerate Unresolved Issues: Accept that not every problem will have an immediate solution and practice tolerating the discomfort of ongoing, in-process conversations. Take Breaks When Activated: When conflict escalates, or emotions run high, pause the conversation and use activities like taking a walk or shower to regulate your nervous system before returning. Use "I" Statements: Use concise, direct language to express your needs and feelings without attacking or criticizing your partner. Reflect on the System: Regularly assess if both partners are contributing to the emotional work and call out patterns where efforts are imbalanced. Model Self-Possession: Take responsibility for your own happiness and choices, setting an example for both yourself and others—including children—about how to live in alignment with your values.   Mentioned Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) About Tonya Lester (Psychology Today) Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication (Free guide) How Being "Difficult" Can Assist Growth & Development In Relationship (ERP 360)   Connect with Tonya Lester Website: tonyalester.com Facebook: facebook.com/tlynnlester/ Instagram: instagram.com/tonyalesterpsychotherapy LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tonya-lester-b9a3ab14 TikTok: tiktok.com/@tonyalesterlcsw  

Show SourcesThe Whitest Summer, Jennifer Hotes, Substack (good for a few laughs, I hope!)The women in love with AI companions: 'I vowed to my chatbot that I wouldn't leave him,' Alaina Demopoulos, The GuardianLove in the Time of A.I. Companions, Anna Weiner, New York MagazineSend us Fan MailSupport the showSupport Curious Cat, an independent, human-made podcast!Anxious about AI? Take two minutes to contact your local politician and ask them to tap the brakes on this technology. Still worried? Contact one of the orgs below and get involved. But for today, hug your kid, cook food and really breathe in deep as it simmers, walk in nature, brush a cat, donate to the food bank, brew a cup of tea, or draw a five-minute portrait of your dog. ***Is AI the Devil? on Substack!***Hero Organizations:80,000 HoursCenter for Humane TechnologiesState of Surveillance, an organization that helps foster online privacyBuy Curious Cat Podcast a Coffee!

Ruhama Wolle loves weddings, but after being a bridesmaid three times in a little more than a year, she reached a breaking point. The financial and emotional burden was too much, and in an article for Glamour magazine, she publicly resigned from ever being a bridesmaid again.  Now, Wolle has written “I Hope You Elope: A Bridesmaid Survival Guide,” with practical tips on how to navigate the ask with authenticity, honesty and boundaries. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Wolle tells host Anna Martin  about the bridesmaid dynamics that made her call it quits. Plus, she gives advice and scripts for those looking to approach the role in a new way. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of Perspektives with Bank, Big Bank sits down with Minister Yahdan Yada aka Yada Awakening for a powerful conversation on relationships, masculinity, and the transformative role of women in society. Yada breaks down how elevating women ultimately elevates men, diving into themes of emotional intelligence, healing, and the influence of the divine feminine. The discussion challenges traditional views on gender dynamics, unpacking how societal systems have diminished the value of women while highlighting their role in spiritual awakening, family structure, and emotional growth. The conversation expands into self-love, trauma, and accountability in relationships, with a focus on how men can better understand themselves and show up with intention. Yada also explores the impact of lifestyle choices on health, advocating for natural healing, clean living, and spiritual alignment. From generational wealth and family dynamics to redefining masculinity and emotional wellness, this episode offers a grounded yet thought-provoking perspective on building stronger relationships, healthier communities, and a more balanced approach to love and life. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below. Rate, subscribe, comment and share. Follow Perspektives With Bank on IG @perspektiveswithbank @@yada_awakeningSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On her first day of college, Elizabeth Banks met a cute guy at a party. This was long before her roles in “Pitch Perfect” and “30 Rock.” A lot has changed, but 33 years later Banks is still with that same cute guy. In this episode of “Modern Love,” she tells our host, Anna Martin, about the intense conversations and difficult decisions that have kept her relationship alive. And, she reads “Making Space in Marriage, Even as the Walls Close In,” a Modern Love essay about a couple who crack open a stale marriage by leaping into Burning Man. Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love' Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

R.I.P. Floyd - the sign man with a bitchin' heart of gold! LET'S SOLVE DTF: ST. LOUIS, HBO's mid-life crisis, buddy comedy, murder mystery drops the final episode where the tragedy of the Thunder Boys white rap group comes into sad view. Goodbye Floyd, Carol, Richard, Clark, Temu Tiger Tiger, Det. Homer, Det. Plumb, Modern Love, and the baseball umpire/paper person named Queece! A darkly comedic tale of three middle-aged individuals entangled in a love triangle, leading to one's untimely demise. But if someone killed Floyd (David Harbour), whodunnit? Was it weather man Clark (Jason Bateman)? Or did his widow Carol (Linda Cardellini) take him down? Other suspects include Clark's wife Eimy (Wynn Everett), Floyd's stepson Richard (Arlan Ruf), or a mystery person like Peter Sarsgaard? St. Louis Detective Donoghue Homer (Richard Jenkins) and Twyla special crimes officer Jodie Plumb (Joy Sunday) will have to crack the case. The tv show was created by Steven Conrad (Patriot, Perpetual Grace, LTD). #DTFStLouis #hbo #hbomax s1e7 s1e07 s01e07 00:02 Did the series work? 00:44 Let's Solve DTF: St. Louis 01:08 Spoiler Alert 01:28 Variety Article 02:00 Victim: Floyd Smernitch 04:57 Suspect: Clark Forrest 06:21 Suspect: Carol Love-Smernitch 08:06 Suspect: Richard 08:54 Suspect: Stephen Queece 08:59 Suspect: Modern Love 09:05 Suspect: Temu Tiger Tiger 09:22 My Thoughts "No One's Normal. It Just Looks That Way From Across The Street" After a series of revelations, Plumb and Homer question everything they know about the case. Variety article https://variety.com/2026/tv/news/dtf-st-louis-finale-recap-who-killed-floyd-1236712971/ Director Steve Conrad Writer Steve Conrad created by (as Steven Conrad) Cast Jason Bateman ... Clark Forrest David Harbour ... Floyd Linda Cardellini ... Carol Richard Jenkins ... Homer Joy Sunday ... Jodie Plumb Peter Sarsgaard ... Christopher Robert Spurce "Modern Love" Wynn Everett ... Eimy Arlan Ruf ... Richard Chris Perfetti ... Tiger Tiger Asher Miles Fallica ... Stephen Queece Composer Alex Wurman music by Cinematographer James Whitaker director of photography Editors Kevin D. Ross Max Koepke Whitfield Scheidegger Production Designer Laura Fox Art Director Charles Varga Set Decorator Lance Totten Costume Designer Molly Maginnis  

While the “Cannonball” team is on a short break, Wesley is recommending some notable conversations he's listened to lately from other New York Times shows. This week, it's an episode of “Modern Love,” featuring host Anna Martin talking with Zendaya and Robert Pattinson. They dig into the complicated relationship at the core of their new film, “The Drama,” and consider how much they actually want to know about their real-life romantic partners. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A new bombshell has entered the villa. Her name is Nyx, and the only way to see her precious face is by checking us out on Youtube.com.

It was Stefanie and Jonathan's worst nightmare: Jonathan's depression had become so severe he was begging to be taken to the hospital. Stefanie took him to the hospital and then took care of everything else for the family. When she married Jonathan years earlier, Stefanie knew about his mental health struggles. But she wasn't prepared for this moment. Then, Stefanie fell apart too — and it was Jonathan's turn to take care of her. In this episode, Anna talks to Stefanie about what it's like to love someone through the worst of it, and what Stefanie learned about her own needs after years of ignoring them. You can read Stefanie's original story in the Modern Love column. Listen to and Follow ‘Modern Love' Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube |iHeartRadio Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In their buzzy new film, “The Drama,” Zendaya and Robert Pattinson play an engaged couple whose relationship is imploding. With their wedding just a week away, Emma (Zendaya) reveals a shocking secret about her past that sends her fiancé, Charlie (Pattinson), into a self-destructive spiral of doubt. The stakes are high for these fictional lovers, but the underlying relationship anxiety is relatable: What if you don't know the person you love as well as you think you do? What if they surprise you, and that surprise is not good? In this episode, Anna Martin, the host of “Modern Love,” asks Pattinson and Zendaya what these questions mean to their characters, and in their own lives. You can watch a video version of this episode here.  Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week, we have an update to one of our favorite interviews from last year. When Jacob Hoff and Samantha Greenstone met, they became instant best friends. Then, even though Jacob was gay, they realized that their feelings for each other were evolving beyond the platonic, and they decided to give romance a try. On this episode, Hoff and Greenstone tell Anna Martin, host of “Modern Love,” how their love gave him the courage to come out to his conservative family. They also explain that when they decided to get married, they realized they'd have to get used to clarifying their commitment again and again. You can read Jacob and Samantha's Mini-Vows profile in the Styles section. How to submit a Modern Love Essay to The New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Joan Price's husband died, her grief left her feeling alienated from her body. She was numb. She couldn't have orgasms. Her sex drive disappeared. Joan understood better than most people the importance of a fulfilling sex life; as a sex educator for older adults, she centered her work around pleasure and desire. So, she began the process of rediscovering what it means to feel good after loss. Joan ended up writing a book about everything she learned, called "Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved." This week on “Modern Love,” Joan Price tells the story of reconnecting with her sexuality, and she shares advice for anyone looking to do the same. Please note: this episode contains explicit descriptions of sex. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ryan Spahn is a Drama Desk Award–winning actor and writer. Select Off-Broadway: Richard II (Red Bull), Danger and Opportunity (East Village Basement), The Antiquities (Playwrights Horizons), Jordans (The Public), Merry Me (NYTW), Good Enemy (Audible), Jane Anger (New Ohio), Summer & Smoke (CSC), Daniel's Husband (Westside), Moscow x6 (MCC), Exit Strategy (Primary Stages), Gloria (Vineyard). Select TV/Film: Sub/liminal, Zero Day, Elsbeth, AHS: Delicate, Succession, Modern Love, The Bite, Chicago P.D. Ryan co-wrote the feature film He's Way More Famous Than You and wrote the play Inspired By True Events (Concord Theatricals, Theatrely's “Best of 2024.”). Juilliard graduate and the first teenaged Borg on Star Trek: Voyager. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jessie Buckley is nominated for best actress at the Oscars this weekend, for her performance in the movie “Hamnet.” She plays the wife of William Shakespeare — and a grieving mother — as the couple confronts the loss of their only son. The role has already won her a Golden Globe, a BAFTA and an Actor Award. In a conversation on “The Sunday Daily,” The Times's chief movie critic, Manohla Dargis, said it would be a major upset if Buckley did not also win an Academy Award. Ahead of the ceremony, we're bringing you our conversation with Buckley from last year. “When I was filming ‘Hamnet,' I deeply wanted to become a mother,” Buckley said. “And it was such a gift to move through this woman and her motherhood and her love and her loss before I became a mother myself.” On this episode of “Modern Love,” Buckley describes how she was able to access the vulnerability she portrayed onscreen. And she talks about how her life has changed since having her own child. Plus, she reads the Modern Love essay “The Wrong Kind of Inheritance” by Victoria Dougherty. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When she was growing up, the writer Lindy West was bombarded with negative messages about being fat. The whole world seemed to think she didn't deserve love unless she lost weight. In her first book, “Shrill,” West wrote about how hard it was to combat fatphobia within herself, in society and on the internet, where she was attacked by some particularly vicious trolls. By the end of the book, West had found confidence in herself. She also got married to the love of her life. Now, West is opening up about a conflict that was built into her marriage from the start: She wanted to be monogamous. Her husband, Aham, did not. To make Aham happy, West agreed that he could see other people, but she was terrified of what would happen to her self-esteem if he ever acted on it.  This week on “Modern Love,” West talks about what happened when Aham started seriously dating someone else. Once this new girlfriend entered the picture, it forced West to rethink her feelings about her marriage, and about herself. On the other side of all that tough emotional work, she was surprised to discover a new kind of joy.  Lindy West's latest book, “Adult Braces: Driving Myself Sane,” comes out March 10. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

When Helena de Groot was a child, she pictured an exciting future for herself: living in a big city, getting an apartment with lots of plants, having a creative job and going dancing on the weekends. She never saw becoming a mother as part of that future. When people asked, she told them she didn't want children. As she grew up, got married and watched her friends become parents, she stood by that decision. But, deep down, she had doubts. The question of whether she was making the right decision for the right reasons consumed Helena's thinking, and had profound implications for her life and marriage. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, she discusses how she navigated uncertainty, how it changed her life and how she imagined her future. Helena de Groot's podcast about her experience, “Creation Myth,” is available from the CBC.  How to submit a Modern Love Essay to the New York Times How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Julia Stoller loved her dad. But she never wanted to be him. He was a rule follower, he was so serious, and he was so straight. Then, when Julia was in her 20s, she got a phone call that completely changed her idea of who her father was. And as he opened up to her, sharing secrets he had been holding onto for decades, she was finally able to open up to him, too.This week on “Modern Love,” Anna talks to Julia about what happened when she had to get to know a whole new version of her dad, and what she learned about herself in the process.You can read Julia's original story in the Modern Love column.We Want to Hear From YouEmail us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here's how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here's how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Recently, the “Modern Love” team asked you to share stories about the most romantic things that have ever happened to you. What struck us about your stories was how frequently romance was found in quiet, everyday actions: rubbing your loved one's feet, paying the bill, changing a flat tire, eating dinner together on the porch. This week, in celebration of Valentine's Day, we hear stories that remind us all how simple love can be. Then, we speak to the king and queen of Valentine's Day. For 30 years, Lonnie Anderson has made giant, over-the-top valentines for his wife, Anne Bolger Witherspoon, and has become a local legend in Albuquerque for doing so. The two tell us why Lonnie goes to the extraordinary lengths he does, and what it feels like for Anne to receive these extravagant, very public valentines. Find photos of Lonnie's valentines here.How to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York TimesHow to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.