things i had to learn the hard way so you don't have to Photo: Ruthson Zimmerman on Unsplash
Using social media for validation instead of monetisation- or even INSPIRATION!!! - love your purpose and turn it into your life's work
How much abuse are we able to emotionally tolerate before it breaks us - out of an obligation to who they WERE - and why it's not healthy or helpful to either of you
When a guy tells us his wife / his ex etc never wanted sex - we assume he's a shitty partner or a shitty lover - selfish, inconsiderate etc - and how to spot these people before you end up stuck with them
Different ways to use the spatial reframing techniques of timeline exercise - #nlp #ancestral #healing #trauma #selfhelp #spatial #emotional #freedom
How it feels for women with different approaches by men - the guy who brags but doesn't connect with her & wonders why he's single - the guy who is aggressive & she puts a wall up and he can't work out why women aren't attracted to him - so he's MORE assertive - vs the playful one who gets them talking about what they want and makes them feel relaxed and safe to open up
How to spot #Abusers #racists #homophobes on the first date - the clues that he's bad news - before you find out the hard way
The red flags we often overlook - a technique to spot those who trigger us BEFORE we have evidence - esp for those who have been hurt so often they don't trust their own judgement any more
People who have money and trauma and don't understand why they are not happy Bc they have "things" but not the life skulls to give them quality of life or quality friendships
How to be kind & compassionate to yourself and others during these fragile times - why it's the easiest and most powerful way to make a difference - and holding space for others actually gets you the love you're craving
What to do with bad advice - from well-meaning people who tell you to “get over it” or “just forgive them” with no understanding or compassion - PLEASE start by forgiving yourself NOT the abuser - please focus on letting go of the story but not the lesson - and choose self love and healing one step at a time - The clients who are the most stuck are the ones who have been given awful advice by an authority figure and they've taken it as gospel - but, if it's not working for you - please choose something that helps instead
Watching two friends try to play rescuer in all their relationships - made me come up with a simple (mocking) reminder, of how playing rescuer is unhealthy - not just because you are treating your partner like a helpless puppy, but you are trying to get love by forcing someone else to change - and why they often didn't ask for it, don't want it Remember when someone is playing the victim it does NOT mean that they actually want a solution - sometimes they just want attention #playingvictim #rescuers #enablers #saveyourself #boundaries
how resentment destroys intimacy when acts of service aren't reciprocated - and how to make her feel appreciated - The expression, "Happy wife, happy life" - does NOT mean buy her things but behave like you don't care .... it means ASK what makes her feel loved, ASK if she wants help - ESP if you both work and do not expect your partner to mother you .... so you get affection because SHE feels loved and wants to return it. what is the love language of your partner? and how do you make them feel loved? (often we show love in the way we feel loved, and forget that their love language might be different) #fivelovelanguages #whatmakesmensexy #domesticbliss #helpheraroundthehouse NOTE - some mention of acts of intimacy between couples - in context of where it breaks down
BFO Life Skills Rant aggressive drivers must be just as inconsiderate and selfish in bed - and other ways we spot this behaviour Why are people aggressive? why do we enable it? what we really think when they brag about intimidating a stranger Mild coarse language, use of the "F" word
why nasty people actually create their own karma - of seeing the world through hateful eyes - and a spatial technique for feeling the warning signs in your body (sorry about the sound quality, i was at the beach with the dog, and created this for a client on the fly)
explicit - mild - Ask women what they want in bed - because if you give her orgasms, she willl want more sex AND she will try more things - it's a win/win (examples used are hetero couples) WHY she eats a small meal at an expensive restaurant (Trust me, DO NOT complain)
how to spot the difference - why men who tell you they are "nice guys" seldom are - how we know we can trust you - and why we ask about the ex and listen to if you bitch Green Relationship flags - https://scoopempire.com/green-flags-spotted-what-it-feels-like-being-in-a-healthy-relationship/
Brief description of why i created this, and how men are lonely and unsure of what women are looking for post #MeToo
Upheaval is coming - whether the old boys' club likes it or not - the old system is crashing down - and those who previously had no rights, no education, no visibility... suddenly have a voice #incels #trolls #patriarchy #change #veganism #climatechange
if i see you be super aggressive on the road - screaming rage and demanding to be let through and get to the "destination" first - I will assume you're not only just as aggressive and inconsiderate in LIFE - but that you're like that in bed eg - how people drive, how people play games - is a clue to other red flags
the things I've learned the hard way about - gaslighting - red flags - walking on eggshells - blame & justification - the way the victim tries to rescue - the delusion that loving them will heal them and why you don't help them by trying to appease them (this was a triggering topic for me to speak about - sorry that i struggled and rambled)
Bottling up pain never ends well - for your body, or your relationships And often we assume others have the same values as us - and get angry when they don't But..... underneath the anger.. it is usually pain - or a painful belief #LoveLanguages #narcissism #boundaries
brain integration and muscle testing techniques as an alternative to chemically restore harmonious levels of dopamine and serotonin Rich Roll & AJ podcast - https://www.richroll.com/podcast/chef-aj-363/ fen phen wiki page - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fenfluramine/phentermine #fenphen #dopamine #gluten #foodaddiction
how can we unlearn the pattern of rescuer and why it starts -
what happens when the earth energy is intense - we have to adjust - some people go into resilience and try to push through it some go into shutdown and overwhelm - and can spiral into addiction Whenever a loved one feels that something is "too hard" to deal with - it means that it has to be dealt with another way or by another person eg - if they deal with their anger by shoving it down with cigarettes and whiskey - it will come out in disease if you deal with your financial problems by ignoring them - then your partner or your bank will have to deal with it This is also a time of shift in awareness for those who have played "rescuer" Just like the old paradigm of the "abuser" is no longer infallible - the "rescuer" is no longer viable.. either
sorry - the volume is super loud - def turn it down all of our stories are bullshit at their core - esp if they hurt us - reflect and reframe and it will change and heal old triggers
Steven's mission to empower, not enable - and teach others to save themselves
some people have a problem for every solution - and, other than avoid them completely - can you use them to create arguments and resolve your own issue as you defend yourself from their negativity?!?
how we react to the meanings we create and attach to our memories
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