Death: the podcast

Jill Farbarik and her husband Ray were dining with friends and watching their children play. Jill had no idea this would be her last dinner as Ray s wife, her last night of co parenting their two daughters, the last night as the matriarch of their happy, healthy family of four. The following morning Jill s husband collided with a tree while skiing. On March 22, 2014, surrounded by his loved ones, Ray Farbarik died at the age of 47. How does a devoted wife and stay at home mom reassemble the pieces of a life shattered by the untimely death of a spouse On this episode of Death the Podcast, Arian explores the poignant moments of sorrow and joy on one woman s journey from survivor to thriver.

Ferrai shaped coffins Narco tombs Yes, they do exist. Justin Nobel travels the world investigating diverse death practices in places you ve heard about, and many you haven t. Justin chronicles his cross cultural death discoveries in his unique blog, Digital Dying. On this edition of Death the podcast, Arian talks with Justin about how various death rituals have evolved over the years. What compels a young guy like Justin to travel the globe observing how we humans die "Death is this great art project for culture to do something really interesting." Photos by Karen LeBlanc.

When Holly Pruett s father died fifteen years ago, she found a unique way to honor his physical and spiritual presence. Now, as a Certified Life Celebrant, Holly helps others craft personalized rituals to witness, celebrate, and mourn their loved ones and life events, sometimes even years after the fact. In our busy, hurried lives, it is important to slow down, take stock, and practice grief. Join Arian and Holly as they discuss the power of ceremony and remembrance.

After a life threatening accident claimed three of his limbs, hospice and palliative care specialist Dr. BJ Miller decided it was time to get busy living. He set a course for deeper connection, both with himself and his fellow humans. From our wallets, to our health, to our loved ones, we all will experience loss. When we tune into our heart and to our senses, we are more likely to benefit from the wisdom that surrounds us. What do humans do to exacerbate suffering How can we make it better In the farewell episode of Death the podcast, Arian and Dr. Miller discuss the universal nature of grief and how, if we let it, suffering can enhance our appreciation for what still exists. Check out more of Dr. BJ Miller BJ Miller What Really Matters at the End of Life www.ted.com One Man s Quest to Change the Way We Die www.nytimes.com

Only two things are guaranteed to happen but once in a lifetime birth and death. Emmy award winning cinematographer and occasional churchyard dumpster diver Bob Perrin beautifully captures the latter with indelible images of his region s most notorious burial grounds. Now battling prostate cancer while losing his own wife to Alzheimer s Disease, Bob joins Arian for a poignant discussion on the inherent sadness and beauty of loving what eventually disappears.

In medical school, Shoshana Ungerleider was primarily focused on curing disease and prolonging life. However, as her medical training progressed, Dr. Ungerleider noticed that a preponderance of incurably ill people were spending the last of their precious days hooked up to life sustaining machinery, isolated from friends and family, with little to no information about the available care options. Thus began a mission to change all of that. How can physicians and lay people begin to view death not as a treatment failure but as a natural inevitability How can patients insure their medical care corresponds with their goals and values Join Arian and Shoshana as they discuss both the aspirations and challenges associated with providing end of life care.

By the late 1980s, psychologist Greg Shrader s life as a gay man was in full bloom. Unfortunately, it was also at that time that AIDS began impacting those whom he knew and cared for. While other, heterosexual twenty somethings were bar hopping and starting families, Greg and his comrades were writing eulogies and attending funerals. To lose one peer in the prime of life is tragic. To lose fifty is unfathomable. "It was like the Titanic, with one person going down at a time". How does one survive multiple, untimely losses Beneath the weight of one s own grief, how can one possibly extend a healing hand to those who are suffering Join Arian and Greg as they explore the personal and professional side of compound grief.

Paul David had it all A loving wife, two beautiful daughters, a great job, and a vast network of family and friends. When he hopped on his bike one sunny day in July of 2008, Paul had no idea he would soon be battling his way back from the brink of death. How did 1.5 seconds change the course of one man s life On the edge of a precipice, what are the things that keep us going Join Arian and Paul as they discuss how a life threatening injury became a lesson in hope and gratitude. Photo Credits Hal David, Kris Solem and Seattle Fire Dept.

In her book Extreme Measures Finding a Better Path to the End of Life, Dr. Jessica Zitter sheds light on how both patients and their doctors face medical decisions before death is imminent. For patients and loved ones, speaking up and asking questions about medical procedures can make the difference between feeling scared and feeling empowered. For physicians, talking directly to a patient about death is a skill as important as any surgical technique. Yet most doctors have no formal training in how to do it. Join Arian to find out more about one woman s quest to transform the field of palliative medicine, one conversation at a time. http jessicazitter.com https www.youtube.com watch v TJiY8duVgz0

Dr. Judith Schwarz is the Clinical Director of End of Life Choices New York. She specializes in talking with the critically or terminally ill about how they wish to live the remainder of their days. Dr. Schwarz has devoted her career to navigating the gray areas that emerge when death is near. What obstacles do physicians and nurses face when they are enlisted by patients to hasten death What choices do patients have when death is imminent How can healthcare providers empower patients to make informed end of life decisions Join Arian and Judy as they examine the complex legal and ethical questions associated with end of life care. http endoflifechoicesny.org

When his beloved grandfather suddenly died of a heart attack, Stephen Sontheimer, the young heir apparent to the Tharp Sontheimer Funeral Home, was excluded from the rituals associated with the end of his grandfather s life. Eager to follow in the footsteps of his forefathers, Stephen was not deterred from learning the family business and familiarizing himself with death. Since 1962, Stephen has continued the family legacy by helping to enhance the traditional rituals for families across the greater New Orleans area. "The good things get better and the bad things sort of drift away." Join Arian and Stephen as they explore this and other observations from the funeral parlor in this episode of Death The Podcast.

It s one thing to be recognized as an artist, a yoga instructor, and a successful copywriter, but being a brain cancer survivor takes life to a new level. Beverly Morris is a survivor. She has had three surgeries, four years of chemotherapy, and a lifetime dose of radiation. What she takes away from all of this is a great appreciation of life, and the discipline to say "no" a whole lot more. In this edition of Death the podcast, Arian and Beverly discuss some of the lessons learned from a long journey of treatment, facing death, and living life with an inoperable tumor. Beverly opens up about everything she s been through, learned, and continues to learn from how precious basic life tasks are, to the rewards of supporting others with their own difficult prognosis. Even after a number of ambulance rides to the hospital and various methods of treatment Beverly wouldn t give up this experience. Yes, Beverly does indeed have a lot on her mind.

Twenty nine year old, Jake Densen s life was like that of any other Los Angeles twenty something a blossoming career in the television industry, great friends, and a supportive family. All of that was suddenly put to the test when, in March of 2015, an unusual skin rash led to a diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukemia or AML. In just two weeks, Jake s life went from the carefree enjoyment of cheeseburgers and LA beaches to doctors appointments, chemotherapy, and a bone marrow transplant. How did this vibrant young man cope with the unimaginable And, what about having a life threatening illness makes us grateful Join Arian as she traverses one man s journey back to life.

Most of us will eventually reach a point where medical intervention is outmatched by advanced age, illness, or both. It is at this point where meaningful conversations between physicians, patients and their families are crucial. Why then do medical schools and residencies offer their trainees little to no formal guidance on how to facilitate end of life conversations What steps should we all consider taking now to make our end of life wishes clear to our family and loved ones What legislative changes are taking place to ensure that our wishes are carried through Board certified in internal medicine, geriatrics, and hospice and palliative care, Dr. Susan Nelson is making real change in helping patients and their families at end of life. Join Arian as she and Dr. Nelson explore the collaborative challenges physicians, patients, and their loved ones face when death is imminent. Helpful links LaPOST website http www.La POST.org or http www.LHCQF.org LaPOST http www.palliativedoctors.org Hospice and Palliative Medicine professional organization http www.AAHPM.org Louisiana Conference of Catholic Bishops https www.lhcqf.org page flip The Final Journey Deborah Grassman s book Peace at Last http www.opuspeace.org Atul Gawande s book Being Mortal http www.atulgawande.com book being mortal

Allison Durant s mother died on the heels of her high school graduation. For years before, Jane had been absent from Allison s life, mostly in hospitals, fighting a losing battle with lung cancer. Allison s teenage invincibility gave her the strength to brush her mother s death aside and throw herself wholeheartedly into her own hectic life. Soon enough Allison was married and had 3 kids. It wasn t until Allison s own children entered adolescence that she was able to stare her mother s death in the face and admit it was one of the defining moments of her life. Coming to terms with alcohol abuse and finding expression for her buried grief, led Allison to form a New Orleans chapter of a national organization called Motherless Daughters. Motherless Daughters has helped Allison deal with her mother s death, and is helping other women of all ages deal with theirs. When Allison agreed to sit down and talk with Arian about Motherless Daughters for Death the podcast, it coincided with the first time her mother s death was not the largest loss she was facing. This edition of Death the podcast traces a full circle. Of life and death.

In 2001, David Hlavsa and his wife, Lisa Holtby, lost their first son, James, at 20 weeks gestation. In 2007, this loss inspired David s first essay, "My First Son, A Pure Memory," which was featured in the "Modern Love" column of the The New York Times. He later penned the critically acclaimed memoir, "Walking Distance Pilgrimage, Parenthood, Grief, and Home Repairs," which chronicles David and Lisa s journey through the Camino de Santiago, infertility, losing James, and, in 2002, the arrival of the couples second son, Benjamin. With no rituals for bereavement, how do parents honor the loss of unborn children How did one marriage thrive in the face of a loss that divides most Arian explores these questions and more in this compelling interview with award winning author, teacher, actor, and director David Hlavsa. Family photo taken by Brand New Soul Photography

Growing up on the family rhubarb and pumpkin farm, Shannon Ritscher s life was like that of most small town teenagers. In 1986, all that changed when Shannon s brother, Steve, killed himself. Devastated by the loss of his son, four years later, Shannon s father David, also took his own life. Despite these set backs, Shannon found a way to move forward. She earned an art degree, married, became a mother, and started the eco friendly, handmade accessory company, Greenbelts. In 2010, Shannon s world was once again shaken when her beloved friend and confidant committed suicide. How is grief different when multiple loved ones die by suicide Join Arian as she explores the resilient heart of Shannon Ritscher. Check out Shannon s work at https www.etsy.com shop Greenbelts

Co founders Mark Brewer, Mike Walas and Brandon Patty were on a mission to create an eco friendly way of honoring the dead. After years of working with leading soil scientists and arborists, The Living Urn was born. With its biodegradable planting systems now available online and in over 250 Funeral Homes nationwide, The Living Urn is transforming the death care industry, one memorial tree at a time. Join Arian s conversation with Mark Brewer to learn more about how this dynamic company is creating life after death. https www.thelivingurn.com

When Annie Garretson and Sally Rothstein met, they never imagined their friendship and love of music would find them at the bedside of those at life s precipice. The Pikes Peak Threshold Singers aren t just any choir. They are a group who share the final moments of strangers, community members, and, even their loved ones lives, with soft, gentle messages of peace and grace. Listen in as Arian explores with Sally and Annie the gift exchange of song to the living and dying. To find out more about Threshold Choir, visit https thresholdchoir.org Photos provided by both Venus Maher and Pikes Peak Hospice and Palliative Care.

Pamela Skjolsvik never dreamed that a misrouted phone call would change the course of her master s thesis and, ultimately, her life. When the call, originally intended for her graduate advisor, was mysteriously redirected to a funeral home, a seed was planted. That seed grew into the now critically acclaimed book, "Death Becomes Us." What if we could schedule our own death How does a person cope with his or her impending execution What is the loneliest kind of grief Join Pamela and Arian as they delve into the transformative power of death.

Cole Imperi was not your typical nineteen year old. While most of her peers were watching television and going to parties, Cole was studying biblical Hebrew and learning about grief. In her late twenties, a devastating assault pushed Cole, not toward isolation or destruction, but toward radical acceptance and unabashed forgiveness. At thirty, with a bright purple curl proudly perched atop her forehead, one might expect to see Cole anywhere but teaching yoga or blazing a bold, new trail in the field of thanatology. Tune into Arian s interview with Cole and find out how this deathcare dynamo is changing the way we think, feel, and talk about life s ultimate uncertainty. To find out more about Cole check out Hellocole.com

What do two young, vibrant restaurant owners in New Orleans have to say about the subject of death More than you would think. In recognition of National Healthcare Decisions Day, Mani Dawes and Rob rt LaBlanc open up about failure, loss, and family. We ve saved you a spot at the table. Join us at Kenton s and find out what happens when two of New Orleans most successful restauranteurs take death out to dinner. To find out more about the restaurants go to tiapol.com maysvillenyc.com kentonsrestaurant.com leblancandsmith.com To find out more about the organizations go to deathoverdinner.org theconversationproject.org

Why should we care about Death Row Because it says more about us a culture than most of us think. Rose Vines coordinates all social media and technology for The Ministry Against the Death Penalty. She works side by side with Sister Helen Prejean to abolish capital punishment in the United States. In this episode of Death The Podcast, Rose reflects with Arian about the experience of visiting Death Row, the experience of forming a relationship with an inmate she is convinced is innocent and the experience of driving away from him. In helping us understand her passion to do this work, Rose articulates the message of her mentor Sister Helen, "Each of us is worth more than our own worst act." To find out more about The Ministry Against the Death Penalty, go to Sisterhelen.org To find out more about Manuel Ortiz, go to Manuelortizisinnocent.org

Dr. Joseph Semmes had to turn in his lab coat for a hospital gown. The process led Joe to see health care, his health care, in a different light. Becoming a patient motivated Joe to widen his scope of practice to palliative and hospice medicine. Joe has since championed their use to increase quality of life and, at times, extend life. Arian talks with Joe about his journey through his own health crisis and how the twists and turns his body has thrown at him have shaped his current views on dying. As our bodies age and certain developments are out of our control, Joe reflects on the importance of the simple things. What he discovers is that these are often the things directly in front of him.

New Orleans veterinarian Dr. Rachelle Biondolillo dedicates her days to saving the lives of pets. But she also finds herself being called on to end life. When she ventures into the territory of end of life care for pets, Dr. B. as she s known to her clients is no longer just a veterinarian with animal care skills, she s now navigating the waters of the emotional and psychological bond between pets and people. You don t learn people skills in vet school. And no two people pet euthanasia cases are ever the same. In what is a never ending learning experience, Dr. B. relies on her own understanding of the emotional struggle of letting go of life and friendship to provide the best care she can to pets and people. Dr. B. finds herself striving to strike a delicate balance to make the tough decision that will end life "just before" an animal s suffering begins. Dr. B. is passionate and committed to being the voice of the pet, while also honoring the role of the human family. As Dr. B. says, "Everyone wants that extra day." Whether that ultimately becomes a day of pleasure or of pain is sometimes a decision based on science. Other times it s a decision of the heart.