Heal Your Wounds with Sean McLoughlin

When God closes a door, he opens a podcast. Sean and Eliot are back from the future to warn you about what's coming. WoundsPod is shutting up shop as we bring you a brand new venture! Listen to this and then search for the new podcast! A whole new, brilliant thing to enjoy. Yes! It's a new show! From us! For you! You're so lucky! You should thank us more! Before we disappear again, for good this time… "Sean & Eliot Read the Bible". Go get. Subscribe.

We're back from the awards and the sweet smell of victory still lingers in the air... Oh, the places we'll go. The book deals are rolling in and Celebrity Love Island is banging on our door. But "No!", we yell. "No, dammit! We have work to do!"... We keep grinding, day and night. To provide you with the highest quality audio  entertainment.  We are wounded. We are many. We are the Best Internet. We lost. It was a massacre.

We're ready to rumble and we've prepared our loser speech for the 2018 Chortle Awards. This episode is all about the build-up and hype for the biggest award ceremony of the season. The glitz! The glamour! The garlic!  Also Sean is going on an inexplicable holiday and Eliot has been to Toys R Us for the last time.

Just when we thought we were out, they pull us back in. In a twist nobody saw coming Heal Your Wounds has been nominated for a Chortle Award and now has a chance to be named the greatest thing on the internet. In this special return episode Sean and Eliot try and figure out how the fuck this has happened, who the fuck the other nominees are and how the fuck we'll trick people to vote for us. Go to chortle.co.uk to vote for Heal Your Wounds in 'Best Internet' category. Polls close on February 14th so HURRY. Also listen to the other nominees because they are so so so much better than us.

Happy new year from all at Heal Your Wounds towers! Here is a little episode with no guests to explain where we've been and why we might not be doing an episode for awhile. Very sorry to leave you all hanging BUT this one still contains Sean and Eliot talking about the fools who advertise with us and we make up a series of Musicals on the spot. View it as a parting gift.

Ho ho ho! On this fine Noel gather round the fire and listen as the HYW gang have a true Christmas party. Previous guests Fern Brady (magical Christmas in Ireland), Harriet Kemsley (Weird incestuous Christmas) and Sunil Patel (Presents in the boot of the car) are here to talk about what makes this time of year so bloody expensive. Also Sean spends much of this episode contemplating whether to spoil the new Star Wars for Eliot. Happy Christmas. 

It's Eliot's birthday! Sean is ill but valiantly carries on and hosts this episode and luckily Bobby Mair and Kate Lucas are able to make the most of some frankly dogshit hosting. We talk namesakes, the dating scene and Eliot gets a song and a present. This one if a fever dream. Go see Bobby Mair on tour in 2018

The Ballad Of Little Pip And Tommy Tonge. After a couple disciplined episodes things start to unravel here as comedians Phil Ellis and Will Duggan (stars of Edinburgh mega-hit Funz And Gamez) guest on the show. A winding chat takes in buses, brothels, Will's genuine phone number and a series of incredible tales of Phil being 'relieved on.' Also Sean and Eliot talk about The Santa Clause 3 for probably too long. Sean's performing his acclaimed 2017 Edinburgh Fringe show in London on 12th December. Come! http://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/events/sean-mcloughlin-cant-ignore-forever/ Also details of Sean's Xmas gig in Brighton on 23rd December are here http://carolineofbrunswick.co.uk/event/spunktacular/?instance_id=9503

"Why would you put the best thing in the world in a toilet?" Sean and Eliot may be struggling with the reveal of their relationship from the last episode but luckily comedian/hard worker Sunil Patel returns to the podcast to have a tremendous chat. The lads talk about their schooldays, the perils of giving advice in London and assess modern cinema. Also Eliot is excited for Christmas already. Sean is drunk as he writes this description. Watch Sunil on the brilliant new series of Borderline on Channel 5. Keep sending potential new artwork etc. to healyourwounds@outlook.com

It's a veritable SPOOKTACULAR this week as Sean desperately tries to make his guests respect his desire to do a halloween episode. Things do get bone-chilling as guest Sarah Keyworth presents a terrifying tale of dripping and licking and Stephen Bailey returns to tell us a story of love and demon slaying. Also, Eliot has written a piece that genuinely freaks the living shit out of Sean and a shocking twist is revealed that could change the show forever! Why not come see Sean do a great solo show in Brighton on November 15th: http://www.thebrunswick.net/2017/05/sean-mcloughlin-support-wednesday-15th-nov-2017/ Send your crap podcast artwork to healyourwounds@outlook.com

Pinnochio's cage. Wild times this episode as Sean (now 30) talks to homeless renaissance man David Elms (Channel 5's Boderline) and welcomes back Adam Hess (human clusterfuck). There's a return of Adam's 'inventions,' a discussion about milkmen and Eliot tells a story about racism in a swimming pool. It's nuts. This one took AGES to edit so please pretend to enjoy it at least.

After the mania of the three Edinburgh Fringe episodes things return to normal as we have a delightful chat with the useless comedian Jonny Pelham. We talk about what it's like having fleas, Sean and Eliot's political past and an outrageous new catchphrase is born. This is a mellow episode and that's fine with me.

In our final Edinburgh waking nightmare Sean has gone mad with fatigue, Eliot is bleeding to death and Phil Jerrod is honking. These lads are joined by Kath, Ed and Adam AKA sketch maestros Gein's Family Giftshop to bang on about middle names (classic), celebrity deaths and well-written plays. ALSO BIG NEWS as beloved regular guest Phil Jerrod becomes an official co-host of Heal Your Wounds! Huzzah! This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Phil Jerrod who died after this recording. Check out Gein's on BBC Radio Wales from 16th September for a new series of comic delights (www.geinsfamilygiftshop.co.uk and @geinsfamilygift on Twitter) Find Adam's play on Twitter at @ThisIsNotCS and hope you can see it in real life.

Shut up, all of you! The second part of our Edinburgh Fringe trilogy sees Rhys James join the lads and work experience Phil Jerrod. Gather round all ye worthless. Marvel at tales of Sleepy Sean's deathly dreams, Wiseboy Rhys' milky middle name and Phunky Phil's scandals working at *******. Also Eliot's been lying to Sean... If you enjoy this podcast, please whisper it into the ears of your victims. AND give Phil's podcast (Ultimate Scrutiny) a good ol' listen.

That's tapas! In this first part of an epic trilogy recorded at the Edinburgh Fringe we welcome comedian/housemate Phil Jerrod to the show and herald the return of our favourite guest Harriet Kemsley. We talk about Sean's idea for a game show, Phil's celebrity spouse and Harriet's awesome new sitcom 'Bobby And Harriet Get Married' on Viceland. Also Eliot did a best man's speech. Come see all the guests at the Edinburgh Fringe. Can't be bothered to list them here but google it.

"There could not have been a worse omen..." Harry Deansway is a complete lunatic and also one of the most enduring characters in the London comedy scene. In this sprawling, revelatory interview he spills the beans about an insane life spent in a trenches of comedy, covering his various roles as a magazine editor, gig promoter, film-maker and now a live act. Since recording this Harry has texted Sean claiming he 'invented new-rave.' Harry still owes Sean money. Enjoy the episode.

No scrubs. This episode's guest is hilarious stand-up and esteemed crackhead Jack Barry who sprinted to the recording from Luton Airport. We talk adverts, forest fires and Jack's bodacious new Edinburgh Fringe show. Also Eliot has been to Pride and Sean founds an alternative event in light of a few criticisms... If you're heading to the Edinburgh Fringe check out Jack's show 'High Treason' at the Caves at 19.40. Also Sean's show is on at 18:45 at the City Cafe but don't worry about that so much.

Mayo mayo mayo mayo! Giddy fun reigns supreme as two of the funniest/dumbest people in comedy come on the show. Ian Smith and Stuart Laws talk engagements, condiments and help Eliot out of a moral quandary in a podcast that had to be heavily edited due to repeated defamation from all involved... Also Sean and Eliot have a child. File this one under 'far out.'

The summer heat may be frightful, but Heal Your Wounds is so delightful. This episode sees comedians Sofie Hagen and Edd Hedges come on the show and you better believe Sean asks them what their middle names are! Also we discuss Sofie's new addiction, Edd's choice of spelling his name and the whole episode ends in a truly shocking/ludicrous manner. Keep watching Brexit Stage Left on Viceland every Wednesday at 10pm folks.

This week Sean (from Viceland's Brexit Stage Left) talks to Fern Brady (Brexit Stage Left) about their new TV show Brexit Stage Left. As well as our memories from recording this historic 5-part series (also starring Jamali Maddix and Alfie Brown) Fern talks about her confused national identity and her relationship. Also Eliot feels he's wasted his life and Sean tries to reassure him. Please note the guest in this episode is exceptionally Scottish. Brexit Stage Left starts on VICELAND on June 14th at 10pm.

Heaven above this is a filthy episode. Brilliant comedians Fin Taylor and Sunil Patel are the guests and it's X-Rated from the off. Genocide, blood and pornography are talked about (not to mention our explosive new spin-off show). Things are then rounded off with Eliot reading Sean some bizarre fan fiction. May God have mercy on us all.

4 episodes in and it’s time to party! This week Sean n’ Eliot speak to the amazing comedians Ed Gamble and Stephen Bailey and things go from saucy to X-rated pretty damn quickly. Plus there’s talk of Stephen’s future as a plumber, Ed’s tips for ‘pooping out the black egg’, and we wrap it up by giving a shout-out to all our listeners in this wide world.

Sean McLoughlin and his loyal butler Eliot return with the wildest/dumbest episode of Heal Your Wounds yet. In a repeat of the botched pilot Adam Hess and Mark Smith return to the show and it's a white-knuckle ride from the off. Luckily our sanity is restored as the VIP this week is Sean's sister Hannah who talks about the workings behind the scenes of an independent cinema and the best way to soil yourself. Enjoy!

Ahoy, pilgrims! It's episode 2 of the hit podcast that nobody knows about. In this episode Sean and Eliot chat with comedian/author Mark Watson and comedian/friend Kiri Pritchard-McLean about tragedies, murder and how well the podcast is doing. Then we interview MTV-approved dating blogger Vix Meldrew about the highs and lows of single life, and the exciting world of blogging in general. It's the podcast of the decade.

Sean McLoughlin presents the first episode of another friggin' podcast. In this clusterfuck of a debut show you'll meet Sean's producer/sidekick Eliot and we talk to the hilarious Harriet Kemsley about being arrested in New York and her bizarre political beliefs. Also we interview Green Party employee and former parliamentary assistant Matt Traini about life in Westminster. It's fun, fascinating and at one point you hear a pizza being delivered to Sean's house. Does he tip? You'll find out...

In this final preview Sean has the chance to salvage something from the botched first recording. Does he take it? Subscribe to hear the full first episode coming imminently (feat. Adam Hess and Mark Smith).

In this second teaser clip, Adam Hess talks about an X-rated souvenir from a teenage trip to Germany (feat. Mark Smith).

Heal Your Wounds is a legitimate podcast that is coming very soon. As a palate-cleanser we're presenting three teaser clips over the next few days as an idea of the kind of stuff that you should expect. In this teaser, Sean McLoughlin introduces the show (feat. Adam Hess and Mark Smith).