Podcasts about Shut

You kick off the year by tightening your Apple habits, starting with smart Quick Tips that actually stick. You build year-based music playlists for offline listening, flip on Airplane Mode when you're out of service to save serious battery, and let the Health app handle reminders for meds and eye drops so nothing slips. You're reminded of power-user staples like Cmd-Shift-5 for screenshots, learn how Google Sites can double as a surprisingly effective bookmark manager, and get clarity on when and how to disable VPNs properly, including on Apple TV for region-locked content. Along the way, you discover tools that reliably track Apple refurb inventory and dig into the oddly fascinating logic behind Safari's tab close order. Then it's time to not get caught. You hear why Time Machine now warns you when your backup drive is too small, why storing Notes “On My Device” can bite you later, and how increasing cloud storage often means increasing local storage, too. Listener questions keep things practical, from tracking a missing Apple TV remote to deciding when an iPad beats a laptop. A deep dive into strange Safari tab behavior brings it all home, followed by Cool Stuff Found that helps you update Macs more intelligently, evaluate startup risks, replicate Mac setups with Ansible, and even capture insights from podcasts using AI. It's a fast, practical reset that helps you start the year sharper, safer, and a little more in control. 00:00:00 Mac Geek Gab 1123 for Monday, January 5th, 2026 January 5th: National Whipped Cream Day MGG Monthly Giveaway – Enter to win a copy of Ecamm Live or Carbon Copy Cloner 7! The MGG Merch Store is Live! MGG's CES 2026 Sponsors: BusyCal (with code MACGEEK10)! Eero Ecamm for Zoom integration MacPaw CCC Backup Quick Tips 00:00:01 Joe-QT-Make Year-based Music playlists for offline listening 00:04:44 John-QT-Use Airplane Mode to save your battery when you’re out of service 00:06:53 Steve-QT-Use the iPhone Health app to remind you about medications, eye drops, and more! CES 2026 Sponsor: BusyCal (with code MACGEEK10)! 00:12:26 Avraham-QT-Remember to use Cmd-Shift-5 for Screenshots 00:17:36 Andrew-QT-1115-Use Google Sites as your Bookmarks manager 00:21:32 Jason-QT-1122-Shut off your VPN from within the app, not Settings 00:23:03 Joe-QT-Use AppleTV VPN for region-locked content 00:28:51 Ben-1121-Refurb Tracker reliably tracks Apple refurb inventory 00:30:22 Ben-QT-There’s Logic to Safari Tabs Close Order…right? Don't Get Caught 00:32:11 Doug-DGC-Time Machine now warns you if your drive is too small CES 2026 Sponsor: CCC Backup CES 2026 Sponsor: MacPaw 00:41:29 Jose-DGC-1104-Be aware if you’re storing Notes On My [Device] 00:43:50 Doug-DGC-Increasing cloud storage means increasing local storage Reviews 00:46:37 Apv9-MGG Review-Absolutely Essential LIstening for Apple Users! Your Questions Answered and Tips Shared! 00:47:41 Skylar-Can I track my Apple TV remote? 00:50:17 Which remote control do you use? 00:53:27 Glenn-When do you reach for your iPad vs. your laptop? OmniOutliner 01:02:54 Juergen-Why the crazy tab behavior? 01:09:20 CES 2026 Coverage Sponsors Eero Ecamm for Zoom integration Cool Stuff Found 01:11:39 Steve-CSF-Latest for updating your Mac’s software SwitchGlass 01:13:01 Arvydas-CSF-MacPersistenceChecker to risk-score all your startup items 01:14:17 Alan-CSF-1121-Use Ansible to replicate user preferences between Macs 01:15:16 Dan-CSF-SnipD AI-powered Podcast app for capturing and learning from episodes 01:17:09 MGG 1123 Outtro MGG Monthly Giveaway Bandwidth Provided by CacheFly MGG's CES 2026 Sponsors Pilot Pete's Aviation Podcast: So There I Was (for Aviation Enthusiasts) The Debut Film Podcast – Adam's new podcast! Dave's Business Brain (for Entrepreneurs) and Gig Gab (for Working Musicians) Podcasts MGG Merch is Available! Mac Geek Gab YouTube Page Mac Geek Gab Live Calendar This Week's MGG Premium Contributors MGG Apple Podcasts Reviews feedback@macgeekgab.com 224-888-GEEK Active MGG Sponsors and Coupon Codes List BackBeat Media Podcast Network

We're headed on the road in Spring 2026! Buy tickets here:https://www.x1entertainment.com/bttb"We have one of the wilder episodes of Dance Moms that I've seen in a minute. Thank god it wasn't with us!" That's practically underselling how weird it is that Abby is just inexplicably missing for most of the episode. I mean considering the excuse she gives for her absence in "Hello Hollywood, Goodbye Abby" doesn't really explain her absence at all and the girls only had three days to prepare for their first LA competition, it's got to be one of the weirdest episodes at the very least.The episode kicks off proper with a conundrum for Abby: Without her LA studio ready to go the ALDC must rent out studio space to practice. But uh-oh, the only spot available is currently in use by the Rage Dance Company and Abby is to afraid to even be seen with them. So the ALDC goes it alone as abby hides out in her car for the first of many retreats. The RDC pulls out all the stops, which worries the moms as Abby has prepared a group number that feels very safe and very un-LA by comparison. But Abby has more important issues to attend to, like getting the girls auditions and then helping them fumble them by both causing a scene in the parking lot and insulting Nia at the audition itself! Holly is quite fed up, but not enough it seems as none of the other moms back her up. It's beginning to dawn on Holly that she is the new Christi and Abby's torturous ways are only going to get worse.Meanwhile making no progress with the team is JoJo, who while not an official team member was still expected to come out to LA and just, what, stand there? Abby instructs Gia not to let Jojo perform in the group number, and then take sit a step further and bars her from auditioning. Jess steals Kalani's sides for the role to encourage Jojo to audition, but when word gets back to the other moms it devolves into a shouting match. If that wasn't enough it's clear Production keeps pushing JoJo to push Abby's buttons in order to make it on the team, which makes her an easy target for continued ridicule.Will the ALDC be able to make a strong first impression in LA, or will Abby's tirades trip them at the starting line? Is water wet?Quotes“Are you drinking anything? No, just Diet Coke. Why? I dunno, cause I'm not a drunk! Shut up! All evidence to the contrary Kelly Hyland!" (15:28-15:41 | Christi & Kelly)“I cannot believe how many shots we had of Abby eating various things in her car." (17:25-17:30 | Christi)“We're not in Pittsburgh anymore, welcome to Los Angeles. We're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy, get your ass out of the car!" (26:36-26:41 | Christi & Kelly)“Now off camera we're going to have what might be one of dumber fights that they didn't air. Actually it's so dumb I'm shocked they didn't air it." (56:01-56:10 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply feminine, non-linear episode, Jess Fenton shares a personal update from her spiritual journey, weaving together biblical symbolism, Jungian individuation, alchemical stages of consciousness, dream symbolism, and the energetic architecture of vision.This episode explores why miracles require structure, why true creation happens in privacy, and how closing the door protects faith, momentum, and manifestation. Jess reflects on the Widow's Oil from the Book of Kings, the alchemical stages of nigredo, albedo, and rubedo, heightened intuition, mirror dynamics, compassion, and what it means to start from the pinnacle rather than the bottom.A transmission for those walking the deeper layers of consciousness — especially those carrying large visions that must be protected, not explained.Feminine consciousness and non-linear storytellingThe Widow's Oil: abundance, vessels, and structureWhy miracles happen in silenceClosing the door to protect faith, vision, and momentumIndividuation as an archetypal journeyThe alchemical stages:Nigredo – the dark night of the soulAlbedo – the return to light and orientationRubedo – integration and embodimentHeightened intuition and seeing what others cannot seeBecoming a mirror — and why others may reactDream symbolism as spiritual signpostingCompassion, forgiveness, and broken-heartednessEmpathy vs. empath identityWorking privately on a sacred visionDopamine, fantasy, and premature disclosureStarting from the pinnacle rather than the bottomWhy manifesting at the highest level can feel easierEnthusiasm as a frequency that attracts resources, people, and wealth(0:02) Welcome to the Spiritualised Podcast(0:08) Sharing a personal spiritual update(0:32) A feminine, non-linear journey through consciousness(1:05) The story of the Widow's Oil(2:47) Abundance requires vessels and structure(3:22) “Shut the door” — privacy, silence, and miracles(4:30) Leadership, action, and the absence of hesitation(5:58) Individuation and the alchemical journey(6:05) Nigredo: the dark night of the soul(7:27) Albedo: returning to the light(8:05) Moving through deeper layers of darkness and light(9:06) Heightened intuition and deep perception(11:12) Seeing soul contracts and unconscious agreements(11:46) Becoming a mirror for others(13:12) Symbolism, dreams, and orientation(13:54) A dream of ascent, thresholds, and initiation(17:11) Signs of entering the albedo phase(19:25) Compassion, forgiveness, and broken-heartedness(21:25) Compassion through the Gene Keys lens(22:29) Protecting a sacred creation in silence(23:53) Dopamine, fantasy, and premature sharing(25:12) Starting from the pinnacle(26:36) Why high-level creation feels easier(28:49) Enthusiasm, community, and prosperityWhere in your life are you being asked to shut the door — not out of fear, but out of devotion to your vision?What vessels are you being called to create so abundance has somewhere to flow?www.goinward.co.ukwww.instagram.com/goinward

Shut in...while in progress offering : Zelle: offering@safehousechurchgso Cash app: @safehousechurchgso  Paypal: paypal.me/ministryaid

Protect Your Retirement with a PHYSICAL Gold and/or Silver IRA https://www.sgtreportgold.com/ CALL( 877) 646-5347 - You Can Trust Noble Gold ---- January 1st, 2026 is the first day that changes everything for the global physical silver market: Export controls go into effect for the world's most undervalued tangible asset, PHYSICAL silver. China is locking their vaults as what remains of physical Silver in the West is drained from both the LBMA and COMEX. In this discussion with precious metals expert David Jensen we discuss fiat facts that will make you vomit, Asian guy's videos and much more.   David's Substack: As Sovereign Bonds Sell-Off Physical Silver Shortage In London Continues https://tinyurl.com/ycyz3dv3   They are destroying us all, here's the PROOF: https://www.coinflation.com/silver_coin_values.html https://rumble.com/embed/v71kjnq/?pub=2peuz

Oregon delivered a statement performance on the biggest stage, shutting out Texas Tech 23–0 in the Orange Bowl to advance to the College Football Playoff semifinals. On this episode of Autzen Audibles, we break down a dominant defensive showing that may go down as one of the best postseason performances in program history. From Brandon Finney's two interceptions to a relentless front that suffocated one of the nation's most explosive offenses, the Ducks left no doubt about who controlled the night in Miami. We discuss how Oregon's defense flipped the national narrative, the offense's efficiency when it mattered most, and what this win means as Dan Lanning's team moves one step closer to a national title. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A fan of J.R.R. Tolkien posed a question to him in a letter. He asked why the heroes of the Lord of the Rings trilogy didn’t simply fly on the giant eagles into Mordor. In a later interview, Tolkien admitted, “It would have made the quest a whole lot easier.” Yet he gave a shockingly curt answer: “Shut up.” Tolkien’s inelegant response contains a lesson for us. We might ask a similar question of the Grand Storyteller—God. We say, “You’re the all-powerful God. Why don’t You fix my problem?” Although the poets and prophets of the Bible are full of hard questions for God, He doesn’t tell us to shut up. Yet when we humans are confronted with His presence, we tend to grow silent. Job, who suffered tremendously, had big questions. His children dead, his wealth gone, his health ruined, he lamented, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer” (Job 30:20). Eventually, God replied, but in a surprising way. He said, “I will question you, and you shall answer me” (38:3). Job had no answer, and concluded, “I spoke of things I did not understand” (42:3). If Tolkien’s eagles had flown Frodo and Sam into the evil heart of Mordor, there would have been no quest, no story, no character development. God is writing a story, and He’s developing our character through it—yours and mine. We’re on a quest in the greatest fellowship of them all.

“The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start.” In this episode, Nick speaks with Anne Wallen to dive into the intricate relationship between maternal health, psychological preparation for parenting, and the impact of childhood trauma on parenting styles. Anne shares her personal journey as a maternal health professional and mother of six, emphasizing the importance of meeting a baby’s needs and the psychological aspects of parenting. What to listen for: Maternal health is crucial for every human being The psychological preparation for parenting is as important as physical preparation Trauma from childhood can affect parenting styles and decisions Meeting a baby’s needs is essential for their psychological development Self-awareness is key to breaking generational trauma cycles Understanding the impact of trauma can help in parenting “Unhealed wounds don't disappear when you become a parent; they show up.” Parenting activates old patterns you didn't even know were still there Triggers often come from your past, not your child's behavior Awareness gives you a pause between reaction and response Healing yourself reduces the chance of repeating the same cycles “Safety is the foundation of healthy development.” Feeling safe shapes the brain, nervous system, and emotional regulation. Consistent responsiveness teaches a child that they matter Emotional safety supports curiosity, confidence, and resilience A regulated parent creates a regulated environment About Anne Wallen Anne is a respected figure in women's health with over 30 years of experience and is a leading voice on global change in maternity care – particularly for those at greatest risk. She continues to educate and empower birth professionals in more than 20 countries, contributes to a variety of curricula, and shapes the future of maternal health through her impactful role as a speaker and mentor. Anne is the Director and co-founder of MaternityWise International, and her legacy lies in inspiring generational changes around and elevating women’s healthcare worldwide. https://www.maternitywise.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-wallen-08478035/ https://www.instagram.com/maternitywise/ Resources: Interested in starting your own podcast or need help with one you already have? https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/podcasting-services/ Thank you for listening! Please subscribe on iTunes and give us a 5-Star review! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindset-and-self-mastery-show/id1604262089 Listen to other episodes here: https://themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com/ Watch Clips and highlights: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk1tCM7KTe3hrq_-UAa6GHA Guest Inquiries right here: podcasts@themindsetandselfmasteryshow.com Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show” Click Here To View The Episode Transcript Nick McGowan (00:00.91)Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. Today on the show we have Anne Wellen. Anne, how you doing today? I’m good. I’m really excited to get into this. I think this is going to be a different conversation than what we typically have, but we were just talking and talking and at one point you’re like, you’re not recording? I’m like, no, let’s start this now. Anne Wallen (00:10.602)I’m good, how are you? Nick McGowan (00:25.614)So this will be great. And why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. Anne Wallen (00:34.382)Okay, well, I am the director of Maternity Wise International, which what we do is we train doulas and childbirth educators and lactation support people. I’ve been doing this for 23, 24 years now, and it’s pretty much my life. I love maternal health. It’s so, important to every human on this planet. And maybe the… An interesting factoid about me is that I have six kids. A lot of people, when you tell them you have six kids, they’re like, my gosh. And yes, I birthed them all. But five of them are adults. I have a little nine-year-old as well. She was a surprise, like the best kind of surprise. But yeah, so my six kids and yes, that’s really the main reason why I got into the work that I got into when I had my first at 17. and didn’t feel like I could be the mom that she deserved, loved her so, so, so much. And I had some family friends that I grew up with who actually babysat me who had been struggling with fertility issues. And so I chose to let them adopt her. And we have had an amazing, beautiful extended family relationship. And she recently gave birth to her first daughter just this summer. So I am officially a grandma in addition to all the other things that I do, but Yeah, that’s a little factoid that most people don’t know. But she’s part of the reason she’s the main reason why I became a mental health professional or a maternal health professional. And a lot of the way things have gone through my life, not just how I was raised, but experiences thereafter have gotten me very interested in mental health. And so I like to kind of create this intersection between the both worlds. And I look at things from a very psychological perspective. So this is This is gonna be a fun one. Nick McGowan (02:29.229)Yeah, I think everything ties back into that. It’s not even just a physical thing. Like I even said to you, somebody has a baby and they go home and how their partner reacts to whatever’s going on or the chaos or whatever the thing is, how does that then tie into the baby and how does the baby move throughout life? Even with you having a kid at 17, you are a child at 17. Though I’m sure we can both think back to 17 years old and thinking I’m grown ass adult and I can do all the things in the world, but you are not. You’re a child. Anne Wallen (02:50.412)Hmm. Nick McGowan (02:59.039)And the fact that you had somebody that you could hand the baby over to that you knew, you trusted, and you were able to have a relationship, it sounds like that could almost be like an ABC sitcom, you know what I mean? Anne Wallen (03:05.325)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (03:13.356)Yeah, well, I mean, my life is, I always joke that, like, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. But I always joke that, you know, Hallmark probably wouldn’t agree to make a movie because my life is so far-fetched. But yes, that’s, that was such a, such a blessing because I really knew that I was not going to be able to do what she needed as far as mothering. And I’ve, you know, hadn’t even finished high school yet. And my wonderful, wonderful and she was my next door neighbor growing up. And I just knew that they were the right people to take care of her and they raised her and she’s an amazing human being. And it’s just really wonderful to have this open relationship at this point, especially, you know, now that she’s having babies of her own. it was really cool too during COVID. She took one of my doula trainings because she was going to be a doula for a friend of hers. So Just a really cool, you know, like sometimes things just come full circle and you just, little blessings, little surprises. So. Nick McGowan (04:22.764)And you wouldn’t have been able to script that. Like, I love when that stuff happens in life where it’s like, I’m gonna have a baby, hand it over to my neighbor, because I love them. And then years later, like, really? Somebody would be like, that’s crazy. Get out of my office, you know? Anne Wallen (04:24.863)No! Anne Wallen (04:37.355)Yeah, well, I I knew that I didn’t, I knew that I probably wouldn’t be okay with just never knowing. know, some moms, and I’ve supported moms as their doula through giving their baby away. I’ve supported adopting families as well. it’s, I am really, really fortunate because I don’t think that most people could go through that experience and it would be, I mean, Don’t get me wrong, it was heartbreaking. It’s still heartbreaking that I wasn’t able to raise her myself. I mean, I’ve had five other kids since then and I know what it is to be a mom and I know what things I’ve missed out on. But being able to have an open adoption is really, really something special and I know some people don’t have that option. And so to be able to give your baby to someone that you think that you can trust and then hope that they’re doing what you would want them to do. That’s a whole level of, yeah, that’s tough, that’s hard. So, yeah. Nick McGowan (05:43.52)could only imagine. I have no idea what that would be like. I don’t have kids, not gonna have kids. And I couldn’t imagine what that’s like just handing a child over. I’ve talked to different people that have had either abortions or they’ve adopted, they’ve handed kids off to be adopted and then just haven’t ever talked to them again or people that have had some kid that are like, hey, by the way, about 30 years ago, you and my mom on a beach. And here we are, we’re like, you and my mom at a party or whatever. It’s like, but I, one of the big reason why I wanted to have you on is to be able to talk about how the psychology of that ties into not just people that have kids, but people that were kids. Cause even your emails back in the conversations, you were like, yeah, everybody was born. And then what we do from there and how that all ties into it. So why don’t, why don’t you kind of get us started off with like, not only what you see with, people that are having kids. but also the people that are concerned about having children and what that ties into just the rest of life. Anne Wallen (06:53.121)Well, kind of as we were talking about before we started recording, getting ready for having a baby, well, having a baby, you really need to put in the work, you need to prepare. And it’s not just about eating the right foods or avoiding the wrong foods and getting enough water and whatever else. There’s a lot of psychological preparation that people need to do. And we all walk around with our own traumas. We all walk around with our own disappointments and wounds. you’re gonna carry that into your parenting. And if there is one situation that you’re gonna find yourself in as kind of just this automatic robot, it’s as a parent. You don’t realize all these scripts and all this just unprepared, you know, in the moment reactions that you’re going to have to your own child until you’re there. And then you’re like, Nick McGowan (07:26.218)Hmm. Anne Wallen (07:52.961)I sound just like my mom or my dad used to say that and I still sometimes even you know I’m on kid number six at this point she’s nine and I still will say things you know two wrongs don’t make her right or whatever little sayings that you grow up with and I realize wow I got that from this scenario or I learned that during this moment when I got in trouble or whatever and it can it can really make a difference Nick McGowan (07:54.515)Ha ha. Anne Wallen (08:22.669)being aware and intentional with your parenting. And when I say aware, I just mean if you’ve got wounds or if you’ve got trauma or if your parents were abusive, if there was something else going on, you know, in those immediate, the first weeks, months of your life, it is really, really important to meet that baby’s needs immediately or as quickly as possible, right? So, There are things like crying it out. There are things like scheduled feeds. And they’re actually, we’re not just talking about a physical experience that this baby’s going through. It’s a psychological experience. And so we can get deeper into that if you want to, but a lot of people, they’ll hear from their parents when they become parents, they’ll hear things like, put the baby down, don’t spoil that baby. Or, they should be sleeping all night and they should be doing this or they should be doing that. You know, we let that baby cry it out. We gave you formula. You turned out fine. Whatever it is, right? Whatever this thing is that might be the response to whatever the parents are wanting to do. You know, the grandparents and well-meaning aunts and uncles, they’ll have some retort usually, right? And advice from your elders is always helpful. And having, just having elders around to… support your efforts is beautiful and helpful, but sometimes they don’t know what’s best for your baby. And the only person who really knows what’s best for the baby is the parent, especially the parent who’s bonded to the baby. Usually that’s the mom when they’re really, really small. And that’s usually because there’s breastfeeding going on or whatever it is, the main caretaking duties usually falls to the mother. So if that mother is well attuned to the baby, baby’s getting their needs met, this is teaching the baby that they can trust, right? It’s teaching the baby about relationships. It’s teaching the baby that I’m valuable. I am worth listening to. I am protected. I’m safe. All these different things, right? If you’ve got a baby who is routinely put down after, you fed for 15 minutes, now we put you down. You cry? Too bad, baby. We read the book that said, Anne Wallen (10:47.18)put you down, right? Or we heard from grandpa that said put you down, whatever it is. That baby crying so desperately, that’s their only way to communicate that they have a need. So if they’re crying so desperately, I’m still hungry, I’m cold, I just want to be held, I’m scared, I’m alone, whatever it is, I have gas pains, whatever it is, they’re trying to communicate that they have a need. And if we ignore that, if we say, no, I’m going to spoil the child if I pick them up again. This is programming their brain, right? This is programming their mind to say, no matter how hard I cry, I’m going to be ignored. What does that, for you, Nick, what does that translate to? What does that, what would that tell you? Nick McGowan (11:17.928)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (11:31.148)Trauma as a little kid, you’re just instantly, you’re shoved to the side it feels. And that’s, I think that’s an interesting thing to be able to point out, because look, babies are not gonna listen to this podcast. They will when they get older, but like they’re not listening right now. In fact, none of these episodes are for children at all, primarily because of my mouth at times, I’m sure. But the parents, or the new parents, or the people that are thinking about having kids. Anne Wallen (11:34.102)Yeah. Nick McGowan (11:58.088)or the people that feel like they have to have kids because the system tells them, their family system, you have to, which that’s another thing that ties into the psychology of it. Like if somebody says, you, hey, you have to have a kid because you have to keep our lineage going. You have to keep our last name going. You have to do this. You have to do that. okay. And then they go and have the kid and then put everything onto that kid or there’s already some pain that goes along with it. I think the big thing you pointed out that stood out to me and especially for the show, Anne Wallen (12:01.015)Mm. Anne Wallen (12:14.614)Hmm. Nick McGowan (12:27.61)is the work that has to be done before that. I’ve talked to different people that have had kids and they’re like, hey, we planned. We did all these things. We read all these books. We then got pregnant when we wanted to and shit was still crazy because they’re parents and like life and people and like things happen. And then there are people that just accidentally had a child and you know, it’s all, it doesn’t matter if you plan it or not plan it, it seems, but going into a big situation of having a child and Anne Wallen (12:30.572)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (12:57.552)sticking it through for at least 18 years or so, it doesn’t seem to me like a lot of people really think about the work they need to do until like after the fact. Like I met with somebody recently who’s got a young kid and he was offered to go on tour with some band and he was like, I can’t because I am attached and I can’t leave my child. And I can see that he’s such a good dad. But he had said to me, like, things changed as soon as I had the kid, as soon as the kid came into my life. And I hear that from a lot of different people. Like as soon as this happened, then I changed. I stopped smoking or I stopped doing this or I started doing more of whatever it was. And that’s great. But what about the deeper work that’s unseen? Like the trauma that comes from your parents or your parents’ parents or the things that happened that you were a kid that was just crying because you wanted to be held and your parents are like, I can’t. Shut up in there. How does that then tie into we as people that could potentially then have kids and not see that stuff needs to be worked on? Anne Wallen (13:54.688)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (14:05.161)Yeah, so having a baby is a great motivator for lifestyle changes, right? So if you are, if you have unhealthy habits, having your baby might make you think about your mortality and how, you need to eat better or stop smoking or whatever it is so that you can live longer so you can be there for your child. When you are going through pregnancy, even, you know, no matter what the family dynamic, mom, mom, mom, dad, whatever you’ve got going on. both partners, or even if you’ve got a single mom going on, the person who is in the relationship thinking about when this baby gets here, what are we gonna do? The kind of deeper work that they really need to be doing includes psychological preparation for just how they feel about themselves, number one, just simply because whether they feel worthy, whether they feel rejected by their parents, if there’s any kind of abandonment issues, Which abandonment issues start with, you know, crying it out in the crib? We, let me go, can I get a little sciency with you for just a second on that? So, crying it out, they’ve actually done brain scans and they see that crying it out creates a change in the brain structure. So our frontal lobe is the solutions, you know, forward thinking we call it, right? The creative, ambitious forebrain. The hindbrain is the survival primal, Nick McGowan (15:10.31)Please. Anne Wallen (15:30.955)aggressive, it’s the hunter-gatherer brain. And when you have a baby who is, who their needs are met consistently, their forebrain grows and their hindbrain does not grow. Not that it doesn’t grow, but it doesn’t, the balance is more forward-thinker, right? A baby who is left to cry it out, a baby whose needs are not met consistently. And that’s this, we’re not talking about a baby who has like just a crying spell and we put the baby down. for safety’s sake, you know, and we walk away so could take a breath and then we come back, you know, we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about a routinely left to cry baby. That hind brain actually grows and the forebrain can shrink. So now you’ve got a kid who’s got the more aggressive, primal survival skills, more violence prone, more prone to, you know, ADD and some other issues that are, you know, really all about them feeling that they need to survive, right? It’s just such primal, instinctual behavior. So now you have a kid who physically, chemically is growing up with this need to survive, this like fear, right? It’s like I’m on alert, I’m hypervigilant all the time. Now you make them a parent, right? They go through life and they probably have Nick McGowan (16:55.877)Hmph. Anne Wallen (16:58.187)plenty of issues, right, because of that hypervigilance, because of that, you know, fear that’s kind of like their root chakras in like a high alert mode all the time. So you get into this parenting situation, you’ve got a baby coming, right? You need to be able to say, I’m okay, I can advocate for my needs, I can prepare for the birth experience itself, because the birth experience could be traumatizing. And then, how am gonna care for this baby once it’s out, knowing that, or subconsciously, knowing that they were treated with a neglectful-ish, not that parents always are neglectful intentionally, but they don’t always know that the baby is just trying to communicate. And there’s a lot of, we’re not gonna go religion, but there’s a lot of religious. Nick McGowan (17:47.951)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (17:54.09)books out there on parenting that talk about babies, you know, being manipulators and things like that. You got to train them to be good, right? Which is ridiculous. anyway, that in itself is traumatizing just to just to read that if I was a, know. Yes. Yeah. Nick McGowan (18:09.252)Yeah, basically calling your baby a little demon. Don’t you do it little demon. It’s like, I just want some love. I don’t understand. Anne Wallen (18:17.267)Honestly, and there are books out there that have caused babies to become really, really, really sick and even pass away because they’re telling parents, like, you need to have this regimented feeding schedule and you shouldn’t be holding your baby, etc. And, you know, the abandonment issue is huge in our culture. If you go to other places in the world, you’re not going to see people with abandonment issues quite like you do in America. But in America, we have the Juvenile Manufacturing Association who really, really promoted getting babies out of your bed and using all these furniture pieces, right, for baby swings and cribs and, you know, bouncy seats and all these things that are not the mother, not the parent. And the only thing that a really a baby wants when they come out is that relationship. They are looking for a face when they come out. They’re looking for a face and if they don’t get a face to connect to, they’re three months behind in their developmental milestones on average. So the face, the connection with another human being is so important. It’s so important just to their brain development. It’s important to their psychological development. And it’s really important for the parents’ development too because when you create this bond, There’s something in you that softens. And even if you’ve had a ton of trauma, it’s like this little, I don’t know, it’s like this little knowing wakes up inside of you. And you just know, this instinct just shows up and kind of helps guide you in how to meet the baby’s needs in a way that’s healthy and appropriate for the baby. And a lot of times when you look at and you study mom-baby dyads, there’s this, unspoken language between them, right? It happens during sleep. Dr. James McKenna wrote a bunch of different studies over the last 20 to 30 years on watching moms and babies sleep. And when babies, know, vitals go too low, mom stirs and sometimes they even wake up and touch the baby and the baby perks back up again. It’s very SIDS preventive, you know? So like, Nick McGowan (20:41.197)Hmm. Anne Wallen (20:42.58)there’s these things that we have these superpower abilities to connect with other human beings and we don’t even realize it. And the thing that oftentimes gets in the way of that is trauma, other people’s well-meaning but bad advice. And how do we like get ready for all of that? So that’s where pregnancy, thank goodness we have nine months. to get ready for when the baby comes, right? We have nine months to work through our core hurts and figure out how did our parents’ parenting style affect us? And do we want to repeat that or do we want to have a different parenting style, right? And what is best for a baby? And a lot of times, you know, when you just read mainstream information, you know, there’s some real… Nick McGowan (21:10.945)Hahaha Anne Wallen (21:37.873)Sorry, Nick, I know you’re a man, but there are some masculine solutions or frameworks for very feminine processes and that’s not always the best way to go, right? And you can say your baby needs to eat every three hours. We wanna keep baby alive, right? So we’re gonna make sure baby eats every three hours. But what if baby’s hungry before that? You can’t make them wait. Hunger is one of those things that psychologically, if you are left to be hungry, Nick McGowan (21:48.419)Does it make sense? Anne Wallen (22:08.154)It actually causes so much stress on the body. Adrenaline goes up, cortisol goes up, like all these things, chemical reactions that really are trauma reactions. If you look at it that way, they happen in the body when you’re left to be hungry. So just something as simple as the baby needs to be fed can cause lifelong impairments, psychologically speaking. Nick McGowan (22:36.93)I think something to point out here for people that are listening to this, and if you’re about to have a kid, don’t let her scare you off the ledge. Like go do it because it seems like, look, no matter what happens, people are going to make the decisions they’re going to make. But I think the biggest thing you pointed out is the human aspect of it. That the mom or the parents just in general that are connected with their children can feel that, can be connected with their kids. Anne Wallen (22:39.22)Yeah. Anne Wallen (22:46.419)No! Anne Wallen (22:55.732)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:02.664)Yes. Nick McGowan (23:05.474)The fact that you pointed out like, well, capitalistic society was like, how do we make money off this? Well, we want to get the kid out of the bed. We can get them into a whole plethora of their own little suite over here and we can make a whole bunch of money and we might as well push this thing. There’s information that comes from the external world like that. Like, oh, well, baby shouldn’t be in your bed for longer than X amount of time. We should have a crib and like all people have that stuff basically when they have their shower at this point and they get it and they… Anne Wallen (23:17.962)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (23:35.381)have like three to $10,000 worth of stuff that just sitting in there for the baby, when the baby probably needs to be deeply connected with them, but every baby is different. And it’s wild to think about how those systems, the family system that tells us, well, when you were a kid, this is what we did. You made the decisions you made. And that’s to be said that way. But then the other systems that say, you need to have this, you need to have that, you need to have that. Anne Wallen (23:47.092)Yeah. Anne Wallen (23:57.15)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (24:05.024)themselves to block all that madness out. Like, thanks for your feedback, grandma. Thanks for your feedback, Capitalistic Society. That person needs to be so deeply entwined with themselves and to understand about themselves. So based on the research you’ve done or the information that you’ve seen, how many people are actually doing that deeper work? Like, hey, I’m pregnant now. I wonder how fucked I was as a child based on the dumb things that happened. How do I not deliver that onto this child? Anne Wallen (24:10.814)Yeah. Nick McGowan (24:33.963)how many people are actually doing that work? Or is that part of the reason why we’re having the conversation? Because more people need to have that internal conversation. Anne Wallen (24:41.096)We really need our society, especially in America, to be doing that work more. Because a lot of people are just, like I was saying before, you’re kind of in this automatic robot mode. If you don’t do the work and you don’t have any kind of self-awareness, you’re just gonna do the things that you don’t even realize you learned to do. So like as an infant, even though you’re not sitting there taking notes on how your parents are parenting you, you’re learning how to be a parent by experiencing their parenting. And if you look around, we have a lot of entitled people walking around and a lot of broken people walking around who are really just living out their traumas and trauma reactions day to day, rather than looking at them, understanding that that’s what it is. You know, it took me till I was in my 40s to even understand what narcissistic abuse was, because it felt so familiar. Walking around the planet, being raised by someone who was narcissistically abusive. Now back then, 50 years ago, they didn’t have those words, right? But a lot of people have experienced that and they don’t know what it is. And they’re kind of, you know, either perpetuating it as the narcissist in their relationship or continuing to be used by the narcissist for their supply, right? And this is such a hot button, like, I don’t know, like a really popular terminology nowadays and everyone’s gonna, you know, everyone walks around kind of saying, I know a narcissist or that guy’s a narcissist or whatever, right? So it’s word that gets thrown around a lot. But the deeper issue is when you are not cared for, Nick McGowan (26:12.609)Hmm. Anne Wallen (26:36.859)in a way that shows you that you’re valuable, right? Then you grow up trying to prove to yourself how valuable you are, your whole life. And so that’s gonna put you into two camps. You’re either gonna be more like a narcissist, right? Trying to get source from people, trying to get that love and acceptance and to prove yourself worthy, right? Or you’re gonna become more of the enabler, more of the empath type. Nick McGowan (26:57.066)Yeah. Anne Wallen (27:05.925)Sometimes it’s just how we’re wired when we’re born, but a lot of it’s learned, right? And so you walk around trying to fix everybody else, trying to pre, what’s the word I’m looking for? Like you’re anticipating what they need, right? And you’re jumping in and taking care of everybody else. And neither one of those makes a good parent. So when you have a kid, you’re going to… Please don’t get me wrong, public, okay? Not all babies are coming out as narcissists, but all babies do come out needing someone to meet their needs. And so they look like little narcissists, right? Because they’re calling out, they’re crying, you you have to do everything for them. And as they’re growing, you’re trying to boost their self, right? And if you have additional kids around between age two and three, that’s a huge hit to the self-esteem of the toddler. You know, so then you’re trying to like fix that and soothe that and so there’s this whole chain of events that happens between zero and about seven, eight years old. And there’s ways to feed the little narcissist monster that you might be growing or there’s ways to help the child become self-sufficient and self… Nick McGowan (28:03.466)Yeah. Anne Wallen (28:31.529)self-aware, but also, you know, like help them to develop empathy and help them to develop compassion for others. But a lot of this is not by word. It’s in modeling. And again, we go back to if you haven’t dealt with your shit before you have your baby, it’s going to walk around showing your child how to not be a grownup, but they’re not going to know the difference. Nick McGowan (28:51.529)Yeah. Nick McGowan (28:58.527)And just keep going. Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:00.167)Right, and so even though trauma can be passed on from DNA, right, and it can be passed on cellularly, right, but it’s also passed on just by modeling. Modeling what that reactivity looks like, modeling what that unhealed wound looks like. So, go ahead. Nick McGowan (29:16.329)Yeah. Well, it’s interesting with how the, think about often how the body keeps the score. Bessel van der Kerk wrote about that and there are other people that say, I don’t agree with it and that’s fine. You can say whatever you want. I’ve experienced it. I’ve experienced what it’s like to be able to have bodily reactions at things when my mind’s going, the fuck are you doing? Like, what is this? And it’s like, that ties back literally to my mom as I was a little kid. Anne Wallen (29:24.349)Yeah. Anne Wallen (29:39.315)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (29:45.596)and watching and going, she seems to fly off the handle of things. Note to self, guess that’s how it’s done. Cool, that’s what I’m gonna do. And then you learn later and you’re like, no, that’s not it. she was coming from generational trauma and chaos and wondering how do I pay for this thing? And what the fuck are you crying about? And what’s this? And sometimes that would come out of her mouth. Like, the fuck are you crying about? To go, I don’t know. And maybe she’s just overwhelmed. So even pointing out that people will look. Anne Wallen (29:51.922)Right? Anne Wallen (29:58.568)Hmm. Anne Wallen (30:09.831)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (30:11.727)and say like, yeah, a lot of people are calling people narcissists at this point because it’s like they learned a new word and they go, well, this looks similar. I’m glad that you’re pointing out that it’s actually deeper and not exactly the same thing at all, but sure, there are tendencies to it. Like the babies need us. Aren’t we like the only organisms that really do that though? Like all other mammals basically are like, cool, you’re born, go get it, have at it. And we need people. Anne Wallen (30:26.728)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (30:38.844)Yeah. Nick McGowan (30:41.606)And those people also need the babies because of that connection. It’s wild to think about how things that’ll happen just on a day to day that a parent might think, I was just a little upset or a little cold or whatever, that could change so much with that child. And especially in the formative years. I learned a handful of years ago about a theory called the subconscious winning strategy. that we develop a strategy as a child to go, oh, note to self, this is how I win. This is how I get love. Like my core wounding personally is to not be abandoned or unloved. That comes from being a child. So I figured out, oh, I can make people laugh and I can do these different things that then show up in a certain way. And I learned that about myself, I don’t know, at 38 years old and was like, oh my God, my entire life I’ve been doing this because it just deeply ingrained in us. Anne Wallen (31:15.784)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (31:36.914)Hmm. Nick McGowan (31:39.891)You pointed out self-awareness. That’s one of the biggest things I’ve noticed in every single episode I’ve had on this show, every conversation I’ve had that’s peripheral to the show. If you’re aware of something, you can only then become more aware of it as you’re more aware of it. But you can also push things to the side. I’ve watched parents go, I can’t. I’ve had friends that are parents that they’re like, man, some nights I just fucking can’t even. Anything. Like everybody needs to leave me alone and I just need to stare at the ceiling for a little while. or they dive into some vice, alcohol or something else. So what advice do you have for people that are trying to figure out, I either have a kid and I need to and want to be a better parent, or we’re thinking about having kids, or I’m still kind of reeling from being a kid, and how do they then work through their stuff? Anne Wallen (32:33.106)So I think you could, you know. Anne Wallen (32:39.752)I’m hearing some interference. Are we still together? Nick McGowan (32:42.974)We’re good. Anne Wallen (32:45.128)Okay, this could go off on so many, you’re like the tree trunk just now and there’s so many branches and things that we could just go into off of that. I think one of the things that you have to understand is that narcissism, for example, is a spectrum, right? And so, one end is kind of it’s a healthy self-awareness, self-love, self-protecting, self-serving, right? The other end is where you’re using people in a malignant way. Now, a newborn, I always make jokes with my students, like the newborns don’t read the books, right? They don’t know what the parents think that they’re supposed to be doing. But when they are little and they’re trying to communicate, right? We can, if we’re cold, for example, we can go and manipulate the thermostat, right, to make it whatever we want. If we’re hungry, we go and manipulate the refrigerator door and get a snack. Babies can’t do those things, so they’re not manipulators, right? But what they are is desperately trying to communicate with us, and we have to put aside, and you see many a mom who’s had sleepless nights, dads too, Nick McGowan (33:41.842)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (34:04.029)where they’re just doing whatever it is that the baby seems to be needing and it might just be an overnight, know, shit fast story. You’re just, nobody’s getting sleep, everybody’s crying, like everybody’s crying. And you just have to get through it, right? But the fact that you are trying, the fact that you haven’t just put the baby away and said, I can’t do this anymore, you know, good luck kid, right? The fact that they’re not doing that, Nick McGowan (34:30.332)You Anne Wallen (34:33.224)the baby and informs the baby, I am worth trying for. And so even if they aren’t fixing it, I can see they’re trying. Right? Now, do you need to step away? Do you need to be able to eat, you know, shower, take a crap by yourself? Yeah, of course. Right? And you need to be able to take care of yourself in order to take care of somebody else. And you need to be able to set boundaries and say, you know, Nick McGowan (34:37.445)Hmm. Anne Wallen (35:02.464)I am, and we talked a little bit about personality types before, but I’m an introvert, right? And when you’re looking at the Myers-Briggs, introverts need time alone, away from everybody, away from touch, away from sound in order to rebuild their battery. Extroverts, they need other people to recharge their battery. And so if you’ve got babies who are almost all extroverts in that Nick McGowan (35:15.846)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (35:30.638)stage of their life. They need somebody else for something at all times usually. And you’ve got an introvert parent who’s like, I am all tapped out. I’m in the negative. Like kid, I can’t help you right now. I cannot do anything right now. I need to go, you know, just take a bath or something in silence. Everyone leave me alone. Knowing that about yourself and knowing that this whole scenario is going to change. Because before baby came, You probably had self-care mechanisms or habits or whatever in place that you can say like, okay, I am drained. I went to that party. I’ve been at work all day. I need to just have like an evening of quiet. Well, when you have a baby, there’s no such thing. So being able to plan ahead for stuff like that, knowing yourself, being self-aware enough to say, I know what my needs are in a general way, putting a person into this know, sphere of my everyday life, what do I need to do to keep myself sane while still caring for the needs of this other human being? And being able to build some kind of structure around that. It could be, do I need to live closer to my parents so my parents can help me? Does it mean I need to hire a postpartum doula or a nanny or somebody that’s gonna be able to help take care of the child so that I can take care of me? You know, just, and that’s not selfish. That’s not being a bad parent saying, well, I can’t always meet the baby’s needs 100 % of the time. Who can? Like we have this really unrealistic expectation, this leave it to be for mom mindset, right? Where it’s like, she’s just gonna do everything. She somehow wakes up with makeup on, with her clothes pressed and you know, like she never spent any time on that, right? Well, that’s kind of what we’re expected to do as parents is we’re expected to just be up and ready for the world and ready to take care of this baby 100 % without having any kind of prep or any kind of get ready time? No, that’s not how it really works. But then you have that expectation which makes people then feel like they’re failing. And that’s not fair either. That’s where if you look at postpartum depression, it has gone up and gone up and gone up and it’s in its highest Anne Wallen (37:57.818)in places where, or in family dynamics where nobody’s getting sleep, you know, there’s sleep deprivation going on and there’s no social support. And those are the two key factors. And a third key factor is babies who cry a lot. And babies don’t just cry a lot. So if you know how to meet your baby’s needs, you can understand your baby’s language, if you can anticipate their needs and just kind of, you know, Nick McGowan (38:04.699)Hmm. Anne Wallen (38:27.781)Be prepared as we just keep, I keep saying preparation, preparation, right? But being prepared and understanding what does this cry sound mean? Does it mean hungry? Does it mean pain? Does it mean sleepy, right? What do these cry sounds mean? And then being able to appropriately respond to the baby’s needs and making sure that the baby’s needs are met quickly. These all feed into a satisfied, healthy, happy baby, which, creates calm, satisfied, happy, healthy family, right? And then if you are dealing with trauma triggers where maybe the baby crying is a trauma trigger for you, right? And you haven’t figured out what this baby’s need is, you’re gonna be spiraling and that spiral’s gonna, you’re gonna have anxiety, you’re have the depression, you might even develop other issues. And let me just say one really quick little piece. Nick McGowan (39:08.922)Yeah. Anne Wallen (39:26.823)The news a lot of times says, you know, when a mom kills her babies, right? The news will a lot of times say, oh, she had postpartum depression. That’s not postpartum depression, that’s postpartum psychosis. So postpartum depression and anxiety and OCD and all these other different kinds of mental health disorders, they can turn into psychosis. But psychosis is when you have suspended the connection to reality in such a way that you would do that heinous act, right? And why does it get to that point? Because we’re not getting enough sleep, we’re not supporting our families, not, you know, we’re not like creating this wrap around care for families. And dads need it too, you know, like we think, mom’s got postpartum depression. Dads get postpartum depression too. Nick McGowan (40:09.091)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:22.797)sleep deprivation will do it to anybody. You don’t even have to have a baby. You sleep deprived somebody for long enough and they’re gonna experience depression and anxiety. And so being aware, preparing for having that help afterward, understanding what is it that your personal wounding might look like and how might that affect the way you’re gonna care for your baby. So for example, you mentioned abandonment. A lot of people have… Nick McGowan (40:30.456)Yeah. Anne Wallen (40:49.807)abandonment issues because of the whole put your baby to cry it out in the bed philosophy that was taught for a long time. It’s not taught anymore, shouldn’t be taught anymore, we know better now. But there’s a lot of adults walking around that that was the way they did it and they’re gonna hear from their mom and dad and everyone, you know, that’s how you should do it. So it feels really unnatural for a reason. Nick McGowan (40:54.585)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (41:09.026)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (41:14.435)It’s that little instinct, that little knowing that awakens in us when we have a baby that tells us, no, that’s not okay. My baby needs me, my baby. That sound is really grating on me. Why? Because it’s meant for us to do something about it. And so being able to look at, there’s a tool that I sometimes will use, it’s called the self-redemption cycle. Nick McGowan (41:27.543)Yeah. Anne Wallen (41:39.705)And you’re really, it’s like this little circle, right? It informs who you are. It informs yourself about who you are. But it takes the core hurt. Have you ever heard of this? So it takes the core hurt and then it looks at what emotions are drawn from that core hurt. And then it says, what are you seeking? What do those emotions tell you about what you’re seeking? And then what kind of behaviors are you gonna do to meet the thing or find the thing that you’re seeking? And then a lot of times those are unhealthy behaviors too. Nick McGowan (41:57.016)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:08.398)So then you create a new core hurt for yourself, only to do it all over again. And so it’s important for us to really be aware of what are the triggers, right? What are the things that make us feel abandoned or unloved or whatever our thing is, right? And then be able to work through those things because first of all, going into a birth situation, Nick McGowan (42:08.546)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (42:36.91)You have to advocate for yourself. You have to be able to speak for yourself. You have to be informed enough because we live in a profit driven medical society and you cannot, it’s not that you can’t trust doctors as individuals, but you can’t trust the system to have your back. The system is not built to your wellness. The system is to profit and wellness doesn’t bring profit. And so, Nick McGowan (42:55.81)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (43:06.616)You have, you know, a whole system that I don’t want to say is like designed against you, but you have to be wise going into that. If you’re going to have your baby in a hospital, which not everybody’s having babies in hospitals, I’ve had three at home myself, but if you are going to go into a hospital, you have to know what you’re getting yourself into. You have to know how to handle it. And it’s not the time to be defending yourself or standing up for yourself. you have to feel so safe to be vulnerable, to be able to open your body to let your baby out. And if you don’t, your labor will be dysfunctional. And that psychological piece, which is, I was saying before, like 80 to 85 % of your whole birth experience, it’s not physical. Physically, we breathe, we digest our food, we use the bathroom. We don’t need anybody to coach us how to do those things. We don’t need to read books on how to do those things. Our bodies know how to do it. And it’s the same way with birth. Our bodies know how to give birth. But there’s safety mechanisms built into the process, survival mechanisms. And one of those survival mechanisms is, is it safe out there? Is it safe for the baby who’s super, super vulnerable? Like you said, you know, we’re the only species that’s like, our baby comes out and they are completely and utterly dependent upon us for everything. Nick McGowan (44:30.444)Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:32.068)And so if our subconscious says, it’s not safe for that little vulnerable person to come out, it will shut down labor. And you can give it all the drugs you want. You can give it all the pitocin you want. It’s not gonna receive it. Your brain’s gonna shut down those pitocin receptors and say, nope, it’s not safe out there. She doesn’t like the doctor. Or the lights are too bright. Or yeah, or whatever the reason that’s triggering her. Nick McGowan (44:51.03)Politics. Yeah. Anne Wallen (44:58.884)you know, making her feel unsafe. And it could just be there’s a male doctor and she doesn’t feel comfortable around males in that way, right? And so it could be all kinds of things. As a doula and as a doula trainer, I have seen thousands of different scenarios where, you know, she might love her doctor and feel super safe with her doctor, but she gets to the hospital and guess what? It’s the person on call and she’s never even met them. Right, and now we have a hurdle to get over. And does she feel strong enough and confident in her ability enough to not let that affect her? Or is she, or does she not feel that way? Right, and in the moment, you’re just trying to hang on for dear life. You’re just having labor. You’re just trying to get through it, right? And so all these other psychological factors are really tough to have to. Nick McGowan (45:50.678)Peace. Anne Wallen (45:54.488)navigate, that’s why you’ve got to prepare ahead of time and really have somebody there, whether it’s your partner who’s very well versed and really, you know, knows what you want and is willing to stand up for you, or a doula, or you’re home with your midwife, you know, whatever your scenario, but it’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but it’s also not for someone who is just kinda coming at it willy nilly like, yeah, I got pregnant, yeah, I’m gonna have a baby, and yeah, we’re gonna do this thing called parenting. I mean, you can do it that way, but you’re gonna be on autopilot the whole time. Your reactions to things are not gonna be intentional and worked through the way that they should be for the betterment of your baby, right? Nick McGowan (46:32.246)Hmm. Nick McGowan (46:41.731)yeah. Anne Wallen (46:44.803)The best way to change life on Earth is to change the way we start, right? Nick McGowan (46:50.324)Yeah, what a good way to put that. And especially all of this ties in to so many different pieces, but it’s all similar. Like you go into some big situation, you have to be prepared, but you also need to understand about yourself. And there are people I’m sure that try their best to be as prepared as they can be. Again, I’ve had a few friends that are like, I’ve read every fucking book I could. I talked to everybody I could. Anne Wallen (46:58.522)Mm. Anne Wallen (47:14.777)Yeah. Nick McGowan (47:16.278)And I still expect to screw this kid up in some sort of way, because I’m going to say something weird or whatever. it’s like totally, like you’re just going to do what you’re going to do and your kid’s going to go how they’re going to go. But that’s the sort of like anti-matter in the middle of it. That’s like, well, all that stuff is just going to happen. But as long as you’re best prepared, you’re going to do what you can. Those people that are kind of wandering around that are like, well, we had a baby and like, I still don’t know my stuff or what’s going on. That. Anne Wallen (47:36.558)Yeah! Nick McGowan (47:45.714)level of self-awareness takes many, many, many blocks to get through to be able to get to that point. So the whole purpose of this show is to be able to help people on their path towards self-mastery and really figuring themselves out and living the best life that they can. So for the people that are on that path towards self-mastery, wanting to have a kid or have a kid or are still kind of reeling through the stuff that they’ve been through as a kid, how… What’s your advice for somebody that’s on their path towards self mastery that’s kind of going throughout all that? Anne Wallen (48:19.747)So the number one thing that you can do is to just nurture yourself, right? Nurturing and making it okay to get things wrong. Having self-forgiveness, having self-grace. Because as you go through these blocks, I could tell you just from my own personal experience that going through different, you know, looking at what has happened to me and saying, okay, this event, and I’m gonna sit with how this event makes me feel. until I can take away the power from it. And some people use counseling for that, some people use EMDR. I found EMDR super helpful. I think too, know, alongside having self-grace and having self-forgiveness, being with other people who are healthy psychologically is really important. If you are in a situation or a relationship that is kind of keeping you in I don’t want to say in abuse because maybe the relationship isn’t abusive, but maybe in a situation where you are constantly triggered or you are continually kind of repeating bad habits, right? And you’re recognizing that, but then you’re in this situation where they’re just triggering you and triggering you and triggering you. You got to get away from it to be able to heal it. It’s so tough. to be able to heal something while you’re in the midst of reaction. And honestly, you know, we talked about the word narcissism and the word trauma and things like that. One of the most powerful ways that I feel like people can heal from stuff and actually keep digging into their past and finding the next thing, right? Like, okay, well, I healed from this and now what? What’s the next thing? Nick McGowan (50:17.15)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (50:17.325)You’re subconscious, two things. One, I really believe that your subconscious will always answer you. And before you even finish the sentence, right, you know the answer. That’s your intuition, you can trust it. Right, so being able to say, what’s the thing that is really holding me back right now? You know it, your subconscious just told you what it was, right? And then going through that, working on that, focusing on that. The other thing is, is that for people, A really powerful tool for us to get understanding about something is labeling. So when you are, let’s say narcissism, when you are looking at narcissism, you can say, hey, here’s a behavior. This makes me feel uncomfortable. What is this? Why does this make me feel uncomfortable? it’s gaslighting. I’ve got a word for that. Nick McGowan (50:52.861)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (51:08.148)hehe Anne Wallen (51:09.977)Right? I’ve got a word for the bandwagoning technique. I’ve got a word for flying monkeys. I’ve got a word for all these different things. Right? And so being able to look at your shit and having a label for the different things that you’re experiencing, having a label for the different reactions that you might be having. Number one, it helps you to understand it. It helps you have a little more power over those things rather than it having power over you. But then also, you know, we can Google it. If you have a word that you’re like, my goodness, you know, this thing is really just triggering me. Why does it trigger me? Okay, comes, I can see that it’s stemming back from this thing that happened to me. And like I said, just ask yourself the questions. Just keep asking yourself the questions. And when your subconscious tells you this is what it was, then you can look it up, right? One of the reasons why I learned about narcissism is because I was Googling, why doesn’t my husband like me? How sad is that that you got to ask that question? But I soon found out that it’s one of the list of things in the narcissistic playbook. And so then you start to realize, this behavior happened at this point in my life and at that point in my life and at that point in my life. And because you have a label for it, you can start to identify the root cause. And that’s where you can kind of start taking your power back. Nick McGowan (52:35.719)Yeah. Anne Wallen (52:38.456)and you can rework the programming that’s going on in your head. And so then you’re no longer a robot, just on autopilot. You can have a moment, you could take a moment to pause and say, I’m not gonna respond like that anymore. I’m gonna, I look, I see it for what it is now. And I’m not gonna let that do this thing to me. And I’m not gonna let that do that thing to my child, because I’m not gonna respond the same way anymore. Nick McGowan (52:54.547)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (53:08.132)And I’ll tell you what, every kid, I really believe this, every child is born to bring the balance. So like if you have, and I apologize for all the noise in the background, I am in New York City. I don’t know if you hear the sirens. They’re about to come right in front of my building, I could tell. All right, they’re gone. Okay, so. Nick McGowan (53:08.231)Yeah. Nick McGowan (53:30.483)Alright. Anne Wallen (53:35.074)give them a second. So when you have, you know, these, this labeling and when you have this balance that the child is bringing into the family, you know, you, you might say, that kid’s a, that’s a wild child or whatever. A wild child compared to what? Maybe you have very placid parents, right? And then the child’s just bringing the balance. They bring in the party. Or you have parents who are, you know, maybe really Nick McGowan (53:35.155)They’re good. Nick McGowan (54:00.989)you Anne Wallen (54:05.061)just super extroverted and then you get this little introverted child because they’re bringing the balance or you have two kids, right? I’ve had my two boys, they’re kind of like in the early middle of the six of them and I had one that was like large muscle. You tell him to dig a hole, he’s gonna be like, how deep and how big and tell me where to go and I’m on it, right? And then you got the next kid. who was very small motor skills, very artistic, you know, just like super minute focus, right? And you tell him to dig a hole and he’d be like, I don’t know how to dig a hole, right? So like they’re opposites, but this is what happens in family structures. It’s like the kid comes in and they fill the gap of what’s missing. This can get tricky if you have stuff that you haven’t worked on in the past, because guess what? Nick McGowan (54:48.443)Mm-hmm. Anne Wallen (55:02.852)Kids also bring the triggers. So for example, my nine-year-old, love her to pieces, she’s really different from me. It’s a challenge sometimes to be her parent because I don’t know what to do with her half the time because she’s just so different from me. And so that in itself is a little bit of a trigger. And so as a parent, when you are trying to learn, because a lot of times we think, oh, we’re here to Nick McGowan (55:18.096)Hmm. Nick McGowan (55:24.272)Yeah. Anne Wallen (55:32.696)you know, mold and shape this person. But I want to challenge that perception. I think we’re really here to figure out who this person is and help them to be the best of whoever it is that they’re supposed to be. And we’re not really supposed to be directing that all that much at all. Right. And so that also can be really tricky if you don’t know who you are. Right. If you’re if your stuff Nick McGowan (55:57.893)Yeah. Anne Wallen (56:01.496)goes into identifying as, I worthy? Should I speak up? Do I have to fight for stuff? All the different things that go on as a child inside of you, your child, it’s gonna be mirrored back to you. And if you haven’t figured those things out, if you didn’t figure them out as a child, how are you gonna have answers for your kid when they’re going through the same thing? So. getting into and really just there’s actually a book for if you’re pregnant now or if you’re looking at getting pregnant, there’s a book called birthing from within. It’s kind of a whole system. I really like it because it kind of digs into the psychological aspect of, you know, this labyrinth of how were you created mentally, emotionally, and then how are you going to walk or step into parenthood, you know, as a person who can be there for your kid in all these different ways that you’re gonna have, it’s gonna be demanded upon you whether or not you have the skills to meet the needs or not, right? Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:05.967)Yeah, whether you like it or not. man, there’s so much to that. And again, I’m not going to have kids ever. I’m no longer equipped to. And I can think about how these things relate to us as people without kids because we were kids at one point and this ties back. Even the two kids that you have that you talked about, you literally just described my brother and myself. And my dad was like, Anne Wallen (57:25.112)Yeah. Nick McGowan (57:34.359)I understand the one who can dig the holes. I don’t understand why you’re building things and you’re painting. What the hell is this about? I’m gonna stick with the one over here because that makes sense and parents can go to that. They can look at that and they can do those things. But I really appreciate that you’re challenging people to understand the most about themselves and where their things have come from so that they don’t really bring them into anything further unless they go, hey, I learned this before cause I went through some shit. Anne Wallen (57:56.334)Mm-hmm. Nick McGowan (58:03.077)Here’s how you go about it a little differently, but you do you kid and I’m here to support you. I think that’s a crucial thing that you really pointed out and I appreciate you pointing that out. This has been awesome to have you on today and I appreciate you being with us. Before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:08.109)Yeah. Nick McGowan (58:27.194)Did I totally cut out there? Awesome. So I’d asked where can people find you and where can they connect with you? Anne Wallen (58:36.484)Well, I am like I said the director of maternity wise you can find me there. That’s easy maternity wise calm just like that And you can also find me. I’m a contributor to brains magazine So I have several articles published there and if you want to find me on LinkedIn, I’m Anne Wallen. So hey Nick McGowan (58:58.896)Again, Ann, it’s been great having you on today. I appreciate your time. Anne Wallen (59:01.988)Thank you.

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Listen to today's podcast... On the last working day of the year, the office is quiet and you are prepared to take advantage of it to get caught up on your work.  The phone rings.  You sigh. Another stressful interruption. According to Fast Company the average office worker is interrupted and taken off task every 11 minutes. Even worse, they say that it takes basically that much time to refocus on the task at hand.  Often, we end up compensating for interruptions by working faster and harder, which results in us experiencing more stress. We get frustrated, impatient, annoyed, angry, defeated.  The key to avoid interruptions at work is to find productive ways to minimize and deal with them and keep our emotions in check. Take One Action Today To Build Your #Resiliency!      Tips For Building Resiliency and Dealing With No Interruptions Day: Plan for interruptions.  Know the type of interruptions that you usually encounter and when they are most likely to occur.  Limit the opportunities for people to distract you.  If you need time to concentrate on a particular task, block it off in your schedule and let colleagues know that you are not available until a certain time.  Turn off your phone and your email notifiers.  Shut the door.  Book a meeting room just for yourself. Watch for your own personal interrupters.  A messy desk, hunger, thirst and curiosity all get in our own way of being as productive as we can.  Organize yourself prior to starting your focused time, not during it. Discover how to take small steps towards a healthier, happier, less-stressed you by visiting my website at worksmartlivesmart.com #mentalhealth #hr

A special look at President Biden's first State of the Union Address. Plus, America's two demon hecklers, Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert try to sabotage Biden's speech but wind up repulsing the nation. Dems plan to target the duo in the run up to the midterms and highlight the GOPs growing disarray. Latter Bakari Sellers joins Mea Culpa to grade the Biden Administration. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

LeBron called him the smartest hooper alive. Coach K called him an alien. Obama called him for a Hall-of-Fame pickup game (and a historic BBQ). But two-time NBA champion Shane Battier has been measuring the immeasurable inflection points of his career all along — from growing up "mixed, tall and poor"; to puking at Duke, guarding Kobe and witnessing LeBron's GOAT-defining game; to failing at ESPN and building a cabinet of relationships… including his therapist. Pablo cracks open the brain of the legend known as Lego, to find out if he really is human after all. Plus: Patrennessy, Laptop magazine and karaoke. Lots of karaoke.(This episode originally aired June 5, 2025.)• Subscribe to Pablo Torre Finds Out on YouTube for more greatest hits• Subscribe to Pablo's newsletter for exclusive access, documents and invites Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Be the Best Impostor You Can Be. In a world where everyone's fakin' it to make it, ain't nobody the real deal, which means the only natural response is to become the best impostor you possibly can. Fool everyone. Fool yourself. Ride your bike. Shut up. Music pick of the week: Robot – The New […]

The guys discuss the massive $250m HotDoc Sale to Potentia, Corporate Travel Management gets a six month stay of execution, Albanese tights family travel rules, why smart businesses don’t shut during Christmas and what are the world’s busiest airline routes Thanks for listening! Join us on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-contrarians-with-adam-and-adir-podcast Subscribe on YouTube for all our video content: https://https://www.youtube.com/@ContrariansPodcast Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/contrarianspod Follow us on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@contrarianspodSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this end-of-year special, Chris Cebollero and Kelly Grayson wrap 2025 with their trademark mix of humor, insight and zero sugarcoating. From venomous bites to venomous behavior, the Inside EMS duo continue counting down the top EMS stories that had the industry buzzing this year — and occasionally cringing. As always, the guys don't shy away from the tough stuff, but they make sure to end on a note of gratitude for the everyday EMS pros out there doing the job with compassion, competence and quiet heroism. Quotable takeaways “Every day, EMS providers go out there, do their jobs and bring some kindness and some comfort to a really bad day for their patients. And I think we need to look forward to more of that in 2026.” “Sometimes we've done things that maybe we shouldn't have, because it isn't in our scope of protocols, but I think we make a difference. Where's the line?” “Most of the advantages of mechanical CPR are not advantages at all.” The top EMS1 stories of 2025 Representatives Glenn Thompson and John Mannion introduced the EMS Counts Act Social Security Fairness Act signed into law, boosting retirement benefits for first responders Kentucky EMTs face KBEMS hearing for administering antivenom after mamba bite Elkhart firefighter appeals loss of paramedic duties after nurse's harassment complaint American Heart Association's 2025 CPR guidelines: Choking, opioids & survival chain Ill. city council makes $500 lift assist fee permanent Warren-Wentworth Ambulance shuts down after entire staff quits 'Shut the f**k up!': North Babylon Fire Chief Peter Alt on leave after video shows him cursing at patient Orange County fire chiefs demand removal of EMS director for halting blood transfusions, ketamine use Colo. paramedic charged with manslaughter after sedating, restraining man National EMS Advisory Council board members terminated Enjoying Inside EMS? Email theshow@ems1.com to share feedback or suggest guests for an upcoming episode. 

Hannibal the Monster is loud, confrontational, and fearless—until these two guests enter the conversation. In this revealing breakdown, we expose the two people Hannibal refuses to acknowledge, the moments that changed everything, and why the truth doesn't fit the narrative he pushes online. No edits. No spin. Just facts, history, and receipts. When real voices speak up, the noise suddenly stops. Who are the two guests? What happened behind the scenes? Why won't Hannibal address it head-on? Watch closely—this is where the story turns. #HannibalTheMonster #WrestlingExposed #ProWrestling #ShootInterview #TruthHurts #MonteAndThePharaoh #WrestlingPodcast Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This is a fan fav episode. What up homie! Let me tell you how excited I am to share the incredibly powerful two-part episode that exposes even more of the narcissistic tricks and emotionally abusive behavior so that you'll never question if you're crazy again! Dr. Ramani is no stranger to Women of Impact and she's an absolute powerhouse when it comes to shining the light on narcissistic abuse and behaviors straight out of their playbook. Not only has Dr Ramani been here more times than I can count, she's delivered levels of insight that has helped millions of people spot it and create their escape strategy to take back their power, every single time.  Today we're unmasking the tricks narcissists use to stay in control, and arming all of the ladies watching with the knowledge to recognize B.S. manipulation and control tactics immediately. *How narcissists use threats, mockery and even the silent treatment to keep you under their control, *Why a typical narcissistic response to you setting boundaries is more manipulation and a fight for control (Girl! Not only is this exhausting, but it's even more reason for you to get away), *Dr Ramani unpacks the unconscious process of narcissistic behavior that makes them unreasonable to stay and deal with.  *When toxic partners weaponize your shame to maintain control over you, Dr Ramani shares exactly how you should respond) *Dr Ramani reveals why self-reflection is absolutely critical in breaking free from narcissists, Whew! Ladies understanding narcissistic behaviors and being able to spot their manipulation tactics may actually save your sanity (or even better, save your life!). I want you to have a little more knowledge, and at least one more tool in your belt to become stronger and more badass. Original air date: 9-14-2023 Follow Dr. Ramani: Website: ⁠http://doctor-ramani.com/⁠  YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorRamanDurvasula⁠  Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani/⁠   Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/doctorramani⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Missing Frames is closing out 2025 with a beloved holiday classic: Stanley Kubrick's EYES WIDE SHUT. Wait…what? That's right, we're declaring once and for all that Eyes Wide Shut IS a Christmas movie. Join Shawn Eastridge and returning guest Richie Pepio as they dive into Stanley Kubrick's enigmatic final film and discuss how it offers an intriguing and disturbing glimpse into the realm of marriage and long-term relationships. They also examine how Kubrick used Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's star status to manipulate both their performance and the audience and why the film's initial lackluster response from both audiences and critics was so baffling.HOSTSShawn EastridgeRichie Pepio

In this encore presentation of Unspoken Security Episode 32 (originally published on 3 April 2025), host AJ Nash sits down with Chris Birch, an intelligence practitioner with nearly 30 years of experience, to discuss the ever-evolving landscape of social engineering. Chris's unique perspective comes from leading teams that actively engage with threat actors, turning the tables on those who typically exploit vulnerabilities.Chris details how social engineering is simply human manipulation, a skill honed from birth. He explains how attackers leverage fear and greed, the fastest and cheapest ways to manipulate individuals. He also dives into how attacks have evolved, highlighting the dangers of increasingly sophisticated tactics like deepfakes and the blurring lines between legal and illegal applications of social engineering.The conversation also explores the crucial role of organizational culture in cybersecurity. Chris emphasizes that awareness, not just education, is key to defense. He advocates for sharing threat intelligence widely within organizations and across industries, empowering everyone to become a sensor against social engineering attempts. Chris also shares a surprising personal fear, offering a lighthearted end to a serious discussion.Send us a textSupport the show

We talk dogs, grief, purpose, creativity… and how hope and compassion can grow even through life's toughest seasons.Julie Hill is a writer, podcaster, and lifelong dog lover who's been celebrating the human–dog bond since 2006. From her rural home in Shropshire, surrounded by family, dogs, cats, and a lively crew of companion animals, she hosts DogCast Radio, where she's interviewed world-class trainers, behaviorists, scientists, authors, and rescue advocates from around the globe.Her heart-dog Buddy the Black Lab took her from the main arena at Crufts to appearances on national TV, and his loss shaped the empathy and passion she brings to her work today.In 2015, Julie was diagnosed with MS — a moment she describes honestly and powerfully:“It shut me down, I felt I lost who I was.”Since then, she's shared her journey with courage and openness, speaking about anxiety, postpartum struggles, resilience, and the deep healing connection we share with our dogs. She's also taken the stage as a stand-up comedian — even performing at the legendary London Comedy Store — using humor and storytelling to help others feel less alone.In this conversation, we talk dogs, grief, purpose, creativity… and how hope and compassion can grow even through life's toughest seasons.https://www.facebook.com/DogCastRadiohttps://www.instagram.com/dogcastradio/https://bsky.app/profile/juliedogcastradio.bsky.socialhttps://x.com/DogCastRadio/Host of www.DogCastRadio.comPresenter on www.UKHealthRadio.com Learn more about your host:www.kimlenglingauthor.com

Meet the lovely Alaina Shearer! Alaina launched a nationwide network for women in tech, founded a marketing agency, somehow raised kids while doing all this, and oh yeah ran for Congress that one time?? Along the way she learned to navigate and push back in male dominated fields — including as a radio host, and working for a Don Draper-level sexist stripped of anything that resembles charming. Officially the most grown-up adult we've ever interviewed, Alaina has wonderful insights to share as someone who gets it. Support her podcast! @citizenrebelpodcastFollow her ig! @alainashearer_ (**Alison decided to record this one underwater. Just for fun. Or maybe the audio settings were jacked, the quality suffered, and we're really sorry. Glub club.)

another DEEP DARK YIN SOLSTICE DEATH EPISODE XOXO love you very much! thank you for playing! tracks listed at deermit.com XOXO patreon.com/radionoplace XOXO

'SHUT THE F*** UP' - ANDREW TATE v CHASE DEMOOR FULL FINAL PRESS CONFERENCE Got beef? The Village Butchers delivers knockout quality straight to your door! Premium cuts, unbeatable prices, and guaranteed freshness that packs a punch. Order now and get 20% off with IFL20 at https://bit.ly/TVBIFL20

This is a fan fav episode. What up homie! Let me tell you how excited I am to share the incredibly powerful two-part episode that exposes even more of the narcissistic tricks and emotionally abusive behavior so that you'll never question if you're crazy again! Dr. Ramani is no stranger to Women of Impact and she's an absolute powerhouse when it comes to shining the light on narcissistic abuse and behaviors straight out of their playbook. Not only has Dr Ramani been here more times than I can count, she's delivered levels of insight that has helped millions of people spot it and create their escape strategy to take back their power, every single time.  Today we're unmasking the tricks narcissists use to stay in control, and arming all of the ladies watching with the knowledge to recognize B.S. manipulation and control tactics immediately. *How narcissists use threats, mockery and even the silent treatment to keep you under their control, *Why a typical narcissistic response to you setting boundaries is more manipulation and a fight for control (Girl! Not only is this exhausting, but it's even more reason for you to get away), *Dr Ramani unpacks the unconscious process of narcissistic behavior that makes them unreasonable to stay and deal with.  *When toxic partners weaponize your shame to maintain control over you, Dr Ramani shares exactly how you should respond) *Dr Ramani reveals why self-reflection is absolutely critical in breaking free from narcissists, Whew! Ladies understanding narcissistic behaviors and being able to spot their manipulation tactics may actually save your sanity (or even better, save your life!). I want you to have a little more knowledge, and at least one more tool in your belt to become stronger and more badass. Original air date: 9-13-2023 Follow Dr. Ramani: Website: ⁠http://doctor-ramani.com/⁠  YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorRamanDurvasula⁠  Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani/⁠   Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/doctorramani⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I break down why you can feel exhausted all day but suddenly wired the moment you try to sleep. We talk about how cortisol, melatonin, blood sugar, and perimenopause all play a role, and what you can actually do to get real rest. What we cover: 1. Cortisol and melatonin basics Your circadian rhythm depends on high cortisol in the morning and low cortisol at night. If cortisol spikes in the evening, you will feel "tired but wired." Taking melatonin will not help if melatonin is normal and cortisol is the real problem. 2. How DUTCH testing reveals the root cause A DUTCH hormone test shows: Your full cortisol pattern throughout the day Melatonin output Blood sugar, nutrient, and inflammation markers Estrogen and progesterone levels that may affect sleep This is why DUTCH is so helpful for women who have tried every sleep aid with no results. One client had perfect melatonin but high nighttime cortisol. Once we targeted that, her sleep finally improved. 3. Simple tools to try tonight Protein before bed: At least 20 grams to stabilize blood sugar and quiet cortisol. Nighttime routine: Lower lights, cooler bedroom, weighted blanket, deep breathing, red light, warm bath. Journaling: Empty your brain before bed so you are not carrying mental clutter into sleep. 4. Perimenopause and sleep changes Falling progesterone can make it harder to relax or stay asleep. Supporting progesterone naturally and adding magnesium or B vitamins at night can help. 5. Herbal and nutritional support Adrenal tincture to support cortisol regulation Sleep tincture to calm the nervous system Magnesium in the evening to relax muscles and reduce tension Consistency matters. Sleep often improves gradually over three or more weeks. Why a DUTCH test is your next step  If you are done guessing, DUTCH testing shows exactly: Whether cortisol, melatonin, blood sugar, or inflammation is keeping you awake What your hormones are doing at night Which specific areas to target This saves time, money, and frustration so you can finally sleep again. You can order a DUTCH test here and get a personalized review and plan: https://drbethwestie.com/dutch-hormone-testing/ Better sleep starts with understanding what your hormones are doing behind the scenes.

Elf on a Shelf: Part 2 Life in hob-along mode. Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. When she woke the next morning, Zach was standing next to the bed with a pain pill and a glass of water. "Terry's gonna be here in about half an hour. I could make you some breakfast?" he said, putting the pill and the water into her hand. Honey shook her head, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. "I'd; I'd like to take a shower before I go; if that's okay," she asked. "Right; uh; I'll just set it up for you. I'll get your things together after you're done in there; if you still want to go, that is; Honey closed her eyes and nodded, "Thank you," she whispered, unable to look at the silent pleading in his face. When the shower was ready, Zach carried her down the stairs and set her down in his large walk-in shower on the bathing chair he'd set up for her. "I, uh; I warmed up the water. The; soap and shampoo stuff is right here," he said, gesturing to a collection of bottles put down within her reach. "If you need anything, I'll be right; right here," he said, sitting down on the toilet, looking like he didn't know what to do with his hands. Honey nodded and took off her nightgown and panties, putting them on the floor outside the shower. She leaned down and began unwrapping the velcro the straps on her boot, finding that she couldn't reach the last one. She opened her mouth to ask for help, but Zach was already sliding the door open to undo it for her. When he disassembled the boot around her foot and lifted it away, a slight whimper escaped her when the motion bumped her ankle slightly. Zach's eyes flashed to hers as she tried to cover herself with her arms, "I'm okay," she whispered. Clenching his jaw, Zach nodded, stood and left the stall. The water felt like heaven after the sad sponge baths she had given herself in bed. Her skin came alive in the heat and flushed a deep pink. "Is that too hot? You're getting red," Zach said, standing next to the door looking concerned. "No; it's perfect," she sighed. She twisted around to reach the shampoo and tipped it over, groaning as she watched it roll out of reach. Zach reached into the stall and returned it to her, growling in annoyance as he watched her try to squeeze some out with only one fully functional arm. Soon, he stepped into the shower with her, clad only in his underwear. "I don't know how you think you're going to do this by yourself; he grumbled, glaring at her as he massaged the shampoo into her long hair. "I'll figure it out; put a folding chair in the tub or something," she said, trying not to notice that the fabric of his underwear was leaving nothing to the imagination the wetter it got. "A fucking folding chair will slip. I'll send this one with you. You still can't reach shit, though." "I haven't done this before. I'll get better as I go." "Yeah, but until then, you'll; Look, you need to give me a call when you; so that I know you're okay." "You wouldn't be able to hear me talk; the water makes this growling noise," she said. "Well, why the fu; never mind. You call me before and after. No longer than 10 minutes, or I send Terry." "And he just does whatever you tell him? You're really kinda bossy." "Glad we sorted that out. Put your head back." With a smirk, Honey leaned back, letting him support her with his arm as he rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. After one minute, Zach began swearing under his breath. "I've been rinsing this shit out of your hair forever and there's still more! How the fuck is this possible?" Honey began giggling, despite the pain it caused her shoulder. "I guess you should allow me longer than 10 minutes to shower, then; she murmured. "Ten fucking minutes, or I send Terry." "Do you have any conditioner?" "Any what?" "Never mind," Honey said, trying to control her face. When he finally released her from being rinsed, Honey grabbed the loofa and put some body wash on it, washing what she could reach with her right arm while Zach glared down at her. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he grated, roughly taking the fluffy sponge from her and then washing her with surprising gentleness. When he delicately supported and washed her broken ankle, he waited until he finished before looking up at her, "Remember, doctor says you can take off your boot for a while now and then, so that should help with the smell. I'll pack the extra sock so you can put a clean one on and wash the; well, just how the fuck are you going to do the laundry?" he asked, as if she created the concept of dirty laundry just to bother him. "Hand wash?" she suggested. "That won't work for these boot socks! They smell like gangrene or some shi;" "Well, now you're just flirting; she said, smiling up at him. For a moment Zach's face went completely blank, his eyes slowly traveling down her naked body as his face turned bright red, then he turned away and cursed under his breath again. "Grab onto my arm and I'll finish you up," he said, clenching his jaw and holding out his forearm to her, as he diligently looked away. Cautiously, she took his arm and tried to stand, rising wobbly on her left leg. Before she could gain her balance, her hand slipped on his wet arm and he pulled her tightly against him before she could fall. Body to body, they clung on to each other in the hot spray, each of them shaking. "Honey; you may notta noticed, but I'm hanging on by a fucking thread, here," Zach said quietly in her ear, "Try not to get yourself killed for two seconds." Honey nodded and wrapped her arms around his waist so that he could move his arms again. She felt him move the loofah between her legs and begin washing her private area, looking around the shower stall as he did. When Honey cringed and her breath hissed between her teeth, he stopped, "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at her face. "It's; rough; she said, quietly. "Yeah, but it was fine when; oh; right; sensitive. Okay; he said, swallowing as he tossed the loofah aside and hesitantly reached his fingers between her legs. Honey leaned her forehead on his chest and closed her eyes, gasping when his fingers made contact. "Is that; is that okay?" he asked. She nodded and tried to move her legs further apart for him. Zach gently washed her, trying to think of sports scores, laxative commercials, or the accounts payable at the club, but inevitably his cock noticed that he was holding the woman of his dreams naked in his arms. When she shifted against him, trying to keep her balance, a breathy grunt escaped him as she inadvertently rubbed against him. "I'm sorry; she whispered, trying to give him more room. "Don't be; you're perfect; it's fine; he said, trying to think about anything but how it would feel to slide his cock between her slippery lips right at that moment. "Let me just get the; water; he gritted, reaching for the shower sprayer and directing it between her legs. Honey gasped and whimpered as the water pulsed against her clit, down her labia and over her anus again and again, feeling Zach's eyes on her as he did it, intensely absorbing her every reaction. She trembled as she held on to him, trying to remain calm. Finally, she raised her eyes up to him and opened her wet lips and whispered, "Zach; ?" "Hey, how do you guys want your eggs?" Terry asked, sticking his head into the bathroom. "Get The Fuck Out Of Here, Maggot!" Zach roared, as Honey squealed and released him, quickly ducking down to where Terry couldn't see her on the shower chair. "Scrambled, it is," Terry said, ducking out of the bathroom and leaving them alone again. Zach watched Honey begin to shiver as the room cooled off and handed her a towel. "Let me know when you're dry and I'll wrap up your leg again," he said, looking around the bathroom uncomfortably before wrapping a towel around his waist and taking off his wet underwear from underneath. After securing her ankle in the air cast, Zach carried her back up to the bedroom, turned his back to her, and blocked Terry's kitchen view of the loft as Honey dressed. When she finished, Zach turned around again, his mouth hardening into a grim line when he saw she had put on her elf dress again. "You're; going, then," he said, frowning as he watched her wince at the pain in her shoulder as she tried to tie the thick red ribbon belt behind her back. He stepped behind her and took the belt out of her hands and began brusquely tying it. "I want you to stay," he said to the back of her head, tugging the loops into a tight knot. Honey hobbled around to face him, "Enough to tell me why you wanted to send that message to someone?" she asked him, her dark blue eyes somber. "You; you wouldn't want to stay if I did," he murmured, stroking the soft velvet covering her arms. "Then, I guess I should go," she said, looking away before she could start crying again. "Wow, nice apartment!" Terry said, following Honey inside her apartment with the bag of her clothes. "The blood stains really bring the room together; "Say what you will, it's all mine," she said, hobbling over to the sofa and curling up, exhausted. "Here's your mail. I gotta text Zach, he's going nuts; well, more than usual, anyway," he said, handing her a stack of envelopes. "Arrived at hellhole; Angel has typhoid; the tweakers give their love; send food stamps," he said aloud, typing into his phone as Honey went through her mail. "Let me go set up the bath chair; just the thing to class up the joint," he said, disappearing to the bathroom. When Terry returned, he found Honey white as a sheet, reading a letter. "Whoa, kid; you okay? Need a pain pill? Let me take you back to Zach's. You look like you really do have typhoid; he said, kneeling down next to her. "Um; yeah, I'm fine," she said faintly, then cleared her throat. "Would; would you mind taking that laptop with you when you go deliver the charity gifts to the firm? They; asked me to send it back; probably upgrading; she said, quickly wiping the tears off her cheeks. Terry watched her for a long moment, his face grim, and don't mention it to Zach?" he finished. "Um; probably not?" Honey choked. "Ah, Honey; you have hospital bills. This is where a sensible person starts telling themself, 'Hey self, maybe I should go back to that really great guy that wants to take care of me," Terry said, closing her laptop and wrapping the power cord around it. "If he's such a great guy, why does he send people messages like this?" she asked, holding up the screenshot to him. After staring at the screen for a while, Terry let out a low whistle, "Now, see, Zach just puts it right out there. You gotta respect that. No wonder he got so much ass. He send this to you?" "He said he meant to send it to someone else, but what are you talking about? He sent this to me on our first date when he went to the restroom! I thought he wanted to kill me!" Terry canted his head and looked at the screenshot again, "Oh; yeah, I could see that. Especially if you got it without the dick pic," he said, nodding sympathetically. "No, see, this was sort of a sex S O S, if you will. A guy goes out with a girl like you, it's like a high-wire act. He gets all wound up, needs to blow off some steam, sends out a flare hoping someone can help him take the edge off things so you don't find out what a high-strung, rough sex freak he is. You're a big deal. He just didn't want to scare you off, Angel," Terry explained. "He; he wanted to go have sex with someone else after our date??" Honey yelled, incensed. "Only because he *liked* you so much!" Terry argued, winsomely. Just then, Honey's phone rang in his hand and he tapped the screen, "Honey's phone!" he answered. "Don't Ever Talk To Me Again!" Honey yelled at her phone when she saw it was Zach's number. "Ah yeah?" Terry said, holding the phone to his ear. "Yeah. Right. Be right over," he said, disconnecting the call and handing the phone back to Honey. "What did he say?" Honey asked, grinding her teeth. Terry leaned over and flipped her phone back to the screenshot that had frightened her so much, "Yeah; pretty much that; just without the sex. See you when I get out of the hospital, kid," he sighed. During the next week, Honey took a bus to the city hall offices and applied for unemployment, used the library computers to send out her resume and read her email, and got no calls whatsoever from Zach. Gatsby's, however, started having trouble with their delivery service and three meals a day were accidentally delivered to her disreputable apartment. When she called Gatsby's about it, she was assured they were working on it and were sure to fix the delivery service problem; as soon as they got a delivery service. The following week, Honey got a knock at her door. Promising herself she would open the door only for the pleasure of slamming it shut in the visitor's stupid, handsome face, Honey hobbled up and looked through the peep hole. It wasn't who she expected, though. "Um, hi; she said, opening the door a bit and tightening her robe. "Hi Honey, I'm Jeff. You probably don't remember;" "I remember you," Honey said, opening the door wider. "Please come in." "Thank you," he said, coming in and standing with his coat over his arm as she hobbled back to the couch. "Jeff, I always wanted to call Gatsby's and thank you; you know, for what you did," Honey said. "For the 'angel shot.' I didn't realize I was on a date with the owner, at the time. I hope it didn't make trouble for you," she said. "You're kidding, right? He fired me on the spot," Jeff laughed. "Oh no; she said, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, I'm so sorry." "No, it's okay. He hired me back as a manager a couple weeks ago. Said anyone who had the balls to do what it took to protect you, even from him, that was someone he wanted taking care of his customers. Actually said that, looking back, if you had been scared enough to ask someone for help back then and they *didn't* help you, well, he'd probably want to go find them and; and; well, the details don't matter, and they're probably illegal, anyway. The point is, we're good." "Oh, that's; that's good to hear. Is this about the delivery service problem, then?" "We don't have a delivery service." "Well, yeah, I know. I mean the meals that Zach is making you send me." "Um; I'm probably going to get my life threatened for telling you this, but we're not sending you meals. Zach's popping in and out with a lot of takeout boxes under his arm, but Gatsby's isn't sending you any meals, Honey. That's; that's all Zach." "Oh; Honey said, her cheeks warming. "Yeah, no I came to ask if you'd be interested in a job." Honey laughed, "I appreciate it, but don't think I'd make much of a waitress right now." "Actually, I kinda had something else in mind; Honey's heart pounded as the music swelled and she felt the platform descend, her legs dangling down clad in candy cane striped stockings and curled-toe shoes. Her dress was the same pink velvet and white fur trim costume as before, but the fabric was far more luscious and expensive than the dress she'd worn in the mall. It had arrived at her door with a seamstress tasked with making it fit flawlessly. Honey's eyes were closed out of habit, getting ready to sing for the clientele of the great room as Gatsby's "Elf on a Shelf." She knew he was out there. He always came out of hiding when she sang. A smile curled across her face as she felt the spotlight warm her body. She opened her eyes. After the show, Honey stripped off her tights and a stage hand gave her the air cast as soon as the platform had risen out of sight. Gingerly, she eased her leg back into the boot and began strapping herself in again. As she reached the last fastener, two large hands took the straps out of hers and began wrapping them expertly. Honey blushed and looked aside as Zach did it, and tried not to roll her eyes when he checked the other two straps to be sure she had secured them properly. His eyes wandered over her with nervous adoration, like he still couldn't quite convince himself she was real; even after the mundane work of feeding her, dressing her, and cleaning her all those days up in his loft. "Did you like the show?" she asked quietly, looking up at him with a small smile. Zach sighed with relief, having received tacit permission to speak to her again. "Yes," he said. "Did you really like it?" she asked, her eyes twinkling, her smile growing bigger. "I really; really liked it," Zach said, nodding and pulling at the collar of the dress shirt that was having trouble containing him. He seemed to have only grown larger in their weeks apart. "So much that you want to go have rough sex with somebody else tonight?" she asked, her large and deceptively innocent, twinkling eyes skewering him. Zach's mouth set, "I; I don't do that anymore. I exercise," he said quietly, reddening and looking away from her. "Oh; I see," Honey said, nodding. Ignoring the hands he offered her, Honey rolled herself onto her good knee and clumsily pushed herself back up into a standing position, her skirt flashing him as she rose. "What the fuck is that?" Zach yelled, pulling her skirt up to where a large purpling bruise was blooming on her hip. Honey bit her lips and forced her face to stop grinning before she turned and faced him again. "What's what?" she asked innocently. "What the hell do you think? That fucking huge purple ass-shiner you're walking around with! Where the fuck did that come from?" he roared. "Oh, that? I slipped. You know, it's icy out there; she said brightly, patting his chest and hobbling past him to her dressing room. Zach clenched his hands and followed her, growling things under his breath that would make a sailor blush. She wobbled into the dressing room, leaving the door open behind her, wondering if he would follow her in. He didn't, but instead stood there in the doorway glowering at her like a gargoyle as she pulled some clothes out of a large Gatsby's takeout bag. Honey's ribs were beginning to hurt from trying not to laugh. Honey breath hissed through her teeth as she reached behind her, fumbling with the knot of her wide red ribbon belt, her shoulder still healing from the dislocation. Before long, she heard muttered curses and large feet stomp into the room and push her hands aside, untying the belt for her. She smiled her thanks up at him over her shoulder, and moved her hair aside so he could help her with the zipper. Carefully, he smoothed some more of her hairs aside and slowly lowered the clasp. "So, um; how would it have worked?" she asked quietly, the softness of her voice making him lean in to hear her. Zach cleared his throat, "How would what have worked?" he asked, his breath falling warm on her neck as he tried to unclasp the tiny hook at top of the dress with his large fingers. "If we'd gotten together that night; if I'd never got that message," she said. Zach closed his eyes and shook his head. "I would've taken you home. Maybe tried for a kiss at your door, if you looked like you wanted it," he said, his voice hoarse. "Cheek or lips?" she asked. He sighed, "Who am I kidding? I would've passed out from not breathing by the time I got that close." "And those; other things; would you have wanted to do those things to me? To hurt me; to scare me?" she asked, her voice shaking. Zach turned her to look her in the eye, and she wrapped her arms around herself, keeping the unzipped, loose elf dress from falling down. "No Honey," he swore, shaking his head emphatically, cupping her face and holding her tightly. "God no. Never. Never ever. I would've never let you see that side of me. I'd give it up. I gave it up. I'd go run ten miles before I even;" his impassioned vows were interrupted by a loud crack as a delicate hand slapped him across the face. "How dare you?" Honey said, trembling with fury before she winced and cradled her hand to her chest as Zach blinked slowly in disbelief, trying to process what had happened. "That's for deciding you'd just have a boring, unsatisfied sex life with me without even asking what I wanted, you; you overbearing ass! That's for offering only a part of yourself to me! That's for ruining our beautiful date because you were ashamed of the man I lo;" Honey's uncharacteristic rage was interrupted by Zach's mouth descending on hers and claiming it furiously, pressing her against the wall as her dress fell to the floor. The kiss ended almost as quickly as it began, and Zach pulled away from her, his face a twitching, terrifying storm as he stared down at her. He wrapped his hand around the slender wrist of her only functional arm and pressed it to the wall over her head. "You don't hit me like that; ever," he said quietly, breathing hard through flared nostrils. Honey trembled, staring up into his blazing eyes almost panting against him in terror; but also in something else. The corner of Zach's mouth curled when he saw her deep blue eyes dilate hugely, a heady, familiar scent rising up between them. "You don't fucking hit anyone like that; goddamn amateur. You wanna break your wrist? Jesus Christ. Get your ass dressed and I'll take you home, you little freak," he growled, turning around to give her privacy and hide the huge smile he couldn't stop from covering his face. When Honey came up panting for air, she was pressed against the wall of Zach's loft as he fumbled with the locks of his door with one hand. She was making good progress at getting his shirt off, but it kept bunching up around his arms, and the cuffs were still a problem she didn't even want to think about. Even so, she was blissfully occupied with the acres of warm bare skin and muscle that she had excavated. "This isn't my home; she said, looking around bewildered, "why does everyone get my address wrong?" "Probably because they've blocked it out after seeing your place. Shut up and tell me what you want," Zach said, carrying her over to the stairs until he saw a bit of her lower lip he needed to bite and had to take a break to do it properly. "Look, don't give me names, because then I'd have to kill 'em, but tell me what makes you hot, Honey; we're gonna do all of it and more. I'm making your dreams come true, tonight," he said, winding his hand in her hair as she dropped her head back to give him her neck. "Oh! Um; I liked it when;" "No names," he reminded her, covering her mouth. "Right; well, this one guy, he um; he wore a towel around his waist and bent over his dresser to look for his underwear? And this other time, he held this spoon out to me and I opened my mouth and he fed me. And; and; um; in the shower, he; he held me against him in the water and;" "Honey, are all these stories gonna be about me?" "Um; yeah?" "That's sweet of you, tryin' to keep me outta jail and all, but I need you to get to the part about cock and pussy. Stories about me aren't gonna help that. Cock, pussy, tongue, ass, tits, ears, neck, taint - what do you like?" he asked "Right; uh; I liked it when you washed me down there; my pussy; with your fingers?" Honey said, at a loss. Zach drew his head back from her neck and looked at her, his face growing uneasy. "Honey?" "And when you sprayed the water back and forth down there, especially the top bump part, that really made me feel amazing, kind of squirmy, you know?" "Oh Jesus; he said, looking as if he'd been hit in the head. "And um; I know I wasn't supposed to look, but your um; you know; p-penis; in the shower, when your underwear got wet? That was" "I don't feel so good; he said, lowering himself to the floor and sitting down on the stairs. "No, no, it's fine. We can do this. What's a taint and what do I do with it?" she asked, sitting down and cuddling up next to him. Zach held his head in his hands, "You're a virgin; not like an "everything but" Evangelical, but like an alien or something. I don't know if I can do this." "Look, I know how to have sex; I had health class, for Pete's sake!" she said, slapping his shoulder. "What the fuck did I just get myself into?" he said through his hands. Honey pulled his hands down from his face and climbed up in his lap, putting his arms around her and looping her arms around his neck. "Zach; I have been a very good girl; not just this year, but for a long, long time. I figure that makes it so I can ask for something really big. So, here's what I want: I want you and me; just being together. Not planned or rehearsed or trying to be impressive. You already impress me. You're the best person I know. You took care of me when you hated me. You took care of me, even when I hated you. I just want to see what it's like if we let go of all that and just; you know; love. Will you give me that for Christmas, Santa? Please?" she asked, leaning in and kissing his cheek softly. "I've; never done that before," he said stiffly, looking sideways at her, unable to turn his head. "I'll be gentle with you," she whispered, smiling and brushing her lips against his. Climbing down from his lap, she took his hand in hers and led him up the stairs; until he lost patience with her hobbling and lifted her in his arms, carrying her to the top. Honey smiled as he gently lowered her feet to the floor, then took his hand and worked on the buttons of his cuff, "You're really big, but you don't do that big guy thing where you act like nothing matters. You notice everything; I like that," she said, glancing up at him. Zach frowned, watching her and then looking around the room, uncomfortable. "That's just; you gotta do that. You can't just throw your weight around without knowing where it's going. You're gonna hurt someone that way," he demurred, unbuttoning the cuff for her and tugging the other loose, as well. "You give a lot, but you're not a show-off about it; you didn't even let me know it wasn't Gatsby's sending food to me," she said, pulling his shirt down off his shoulders, pressing her face into his back to smell him. "You needed protein, calcium, and vitamin D to build those bones again -- that ramen shit you eat wasn't gonna give you enough of anything; just empty carbs and fuckin' sodium," he argued, putting his hands on his hips and scowling at her. Honey smiled and nodded, unbuckling his belt and slowly pulling it out of the loops. Zach swallowed, "You; you also needed vitamins C and K, so I made sure you got things like broccoli and fish and citrus; not; not everybody knows that," he said, drawing a shaky breath. "I didn't know that," she said, separating the hook and eye of his trousers and unzipping them, smiling when he cleared his throat and breathed faster as she lowered them. "You're smart, but you don't need everyone to know about it. You watch how people treat you when they think you're simple, instead; you want to know who they really are." Zach pulled his legs out of his trousers and laid them carefully over the chair, glancing over to the closet where he really wanted to put them instead. Honey smirked and turned to go get a hanger for him, and he swept her down onto the bed instead, going to get the hanger for himself and carefully hanging his pants to avoid any creases. Zach returned to the bed, standing in front of her knees where she sat, waiting. Honey moved her hands curiously over his hips and thighs, feeling the strength, the hours of toil and exertion he put them through; so that he could have control and be gentle when he needed to be. "You care about what I want; she said, swallowing and slowly sliding his underwear down his hips, gasping in surprise when his cock bounced out and waved at her. "You care about it even when you think I'm wrong; and it makes me love you so much; she said, trailing off and blushing. "You; got my clothes off," he said, looking down at her, his face a mix of bewilderment and wonder. "I guess you see all of me, now," he said, blushing for the first time since she'd known him. Smiling, she pulled her dress over her head and tossed it aside. She winced, reaching back trying to un-do her bra, and instead of helping her as usual, Zach narrowed his eyes, tilting his head. "You do that on purpose, don't you? Doing shit that hurts right in front of me instead of asking me for help. Showing off that fucking bruise to me at the club. Showing me what happens when I can't take care of you; you actually get off on driving me crazy," he said in outraged realization. "You really want to do that rough sex stuff on me, now, don't you," Honey said, her eyes alive with mischief. "Like you wouldn't believe; he said, flipping her over, straddling her back and unclasping her bra. Honey squealed and giggled when he laid himself out over her back, careful to avoid her shoulder and ankle. "You feel that cock, all hard and ready on your panties and between your legs down there? You don't get him now, brat," he growled, pushing her hair aside and biting the back of her neck. "Not until you beg me." "Okay! Please?" she asked, giggling. Zach looked over at her, trying to hold a stern face, "Yeah, that's not how this works. The way this works is, I make you want it so much that you think you're going out of your mind, and *then* you beg me." "Okay!" she chirped. "Oh, fucking hell; he grumbled, trying not to laugh. He nipped all over her back, enjoying her squeaks and gasps, wiggling under him as her need grew. She seemed completely unaware of how she was responding to him, but he proudly basked in her every flutter. He kissed down to the small of her back, hearing her breath stop and then resume at a pant when he began to lower her panties. "Zach; Zach; Honey whimpered. "Yes, Honey?" he smiled, kissing the top of the crease of her bottom, flicking it slightly with his tongue. "Does it; does it always go this slow?" she asked, raising her bottom to him and moaning when he slid his fingers through her crack, making her jump and then grab onto his thigh. "Are you in a hurry?" he murmured, stroking his fingers leisurely around her clit and into her vagina, "Some other pressing; engagement?" he asked, pressing his finger against her hymen and laughing evilly at her shocked, yet needful, reaction. "Yeah; it would feel good to have a hot deep cock in there, wouldn't it?" he asked, thrusting gently into her with his finger. "Zach; Honey moaned, squirming under him. "I like that word 'engagement; '" Zach mused idly, "don't you?" he asked, raising one of her knees up to her side, sliding his cock along her crack, wetting it until it glistened in her juices. "Zach, please; please; please; she gasped, feeling him rise up over her again, pressing against her entry, "I need you; she whispered. "I need you, too, Honey. I've needed you for so long; he answered, parting her lips and moving into her with slow, gentle thrusts. Honey trembled under him, holding her breath, feeling him fill her more and more, until with a slight sharp pain, she took him into her. "Oh; oh; oh; oh; she whimpered. "Just breathe, Honey. You're doing great; perfect. I'm not moving till you're ready," Zach said, reaching deep for control. A sheen of sweat broke over him at the sheer effort of holding himself back from plunging furiously into her body again and again and again. "Is; is this the rough sex part?" she breathed, reaching out to touch the hand he was using to keep most of his weight off her. Zach barked out a breathless laugh, clasping her hand in his, "I don't know about you, but this is about as rough as I can take it, tonight. You're fucking killing me, right now. But, being inside you; it's like magic." Honey moved her head and kissed his forearm, "Be inside me again, Zach; she whispered. With a low sigh, he began moving inside her, his hips pressing and rolling against her, his cock stroking a patient rhythm. She sighed with happiness, feeling him explore and claim her at the same time. His lips moved over her neck and back as he leisurely took her, whispering praise and encouragements, waiting for her to adjust to him. Before long, though, his words stopped, his body growing harder around her, his every muscle stiffening as he gripped her hand harder, his thrusts quickening until, with a soft, surprised grunt, he thrust deep and shook as he emptied himself inside her. With explosive breaths, he rolled off her, pulling her against him in the bed. "Well, fuck; he said in disgust between gasps. "Yeah; Honey said, snuggling back against him happily, "that was perfect; Zach snorted, "No it wasn't, you noob. You didn't come. I fucked it up." "What do you mean? What makes you think I didn't come? That felt great! Let's do that all the time," Honey said, turning in his arms so she could smile at him. "I would've felt it if you came, Honey; it gets tight and squeezes you, almost like it's sucking on you; drinking you down; he said, smiling down at her with rueful affection. "Well, I don't know how it's supposed to get any tighter than that was. I think you're expecting too much of me. Maybe I did come; she argued. "Honey, trust me; when I make you come, you'll know about it," he said, reaching down and caressing her clit with his fingers. "Oh, that's nice; you did that in the shower," Honey cooed, moving her boot up over his hips so he could reach her more easily. "I didn't fucking do this to you in the shower. I fucking washed you. I was a fucking gentleman. People cut diamonds with less fucking focus than I had in that fucking shower. I was just taking care of business, then," he grumbled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "I guess; I guess, I took advantage of you, then; s-sorry; oh; she said, raising her hips to him as her breathing became irregular, her head tossing from side to side. "Well, unless I'm wrong, you are about to really pay for it in 3, 2, 1" Zach said, when Honey screamed high and long, her hips bucking as she came hard, covering his hand in her sweet nectar and then bursting into tears. Zach held her close as Honey wailed in pain, stroking her body gently, "Yeah; see, that boot can do a lot, but it can't do squat about it when every muscle in your body wants to stiffen up as you come," he said, still soothing her. Honey slapped his shoulder, "That; that was mean! Don't you ever make me come again!" she panted against him, her face still twisted in slowly receding pain. "Uh huh; Zach said, glancing at the alarm clock on his nightstand, "we'll see how long that lasts, you little freak," he said with a smirk, leaning down to kiss her tears away.  To be continued in part 3, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

Listen to today's podcast... What would a day of complete silence be like? Would you love it or hate it? Would you be lonely? Some people dislike being silent as they equate it with being alone. Would you know how to cope with silence for a day? We live in a very loud world where TV, music, and smartphones fill the void with white noise. Many of us, never take the opportunity to sit and enjoy silence. Take One Action Today To Build Your #Resiliency!      Tips For Building Resiliency and Celebrating Be A Lover Of Silence Day: Silence and solitude give us the space to think, act, and play "catch up" with our mind, and can be very healthy for our physical and mental wellbeing. By keeping external silence we are allowing our internal thoughts to be heard. Shut it off. Noise has a negative impact on the brain, which can lead to elevated levels of stress hormones. Researchers found that silence can release tension in the brain and body in just two minutes. It was even more relaxing than listening to "relaxing" music. Finally, if you can't keep silent for an entire day, start off small. Engage in deep breathing exercises or meditation. This helps calm your mind and quiet it at the same time. For more information on coping with mental health issues, sign up for one of my on-line courses at worksmartlivesmart.com under the resources and courses tab. #mentalhealth #hr

Elf on a Shelf: Part 1 Her stalker wasn't who she thought he was; Based on a post by LingeringAfterthought, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Honey smiled at the long line of children waiting to see Santa, flipping her phone from Google Translate back to see the information of the next little girl in line, who was looking up at her somberly with large liquid brown eyes. In her small face was a familiar mixture of fear and hope. Wonder; it was wonder in her eyes, Honey thought. Unlike the tired and jaded adults, dutifully shifting their weight from foot to foot, holding overstuffed shopping bags and all the coats of their kids as they distracted themselves on their phones, the children got more and more excited as they drew near the man in the furry red suit with white trim. Honey loved working with the children; because like them, she sometimes could still see the magic. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Norman shift uncomfortably in the painted plywood throne made for him to sit with the children and discuss their good behavior and of the wishes that they hoped would come true. Even at age 62, Norman still saw the magic with his merry bright blue eyes, but it faded when his prostate pained him. When the photographer got the shot the parent wanted, Honey walked to where most of the long line could see her as Norman flashed her a look of worshipful gratitude. The adults' faces immediately fell, knowing what was coming. "I'm afraid Santa needs to take a quick break because apparently the reindeer have begun arguing again!" Norman put his gloved hands up to his real beard, pulled a comically dismayed face, jumped up from his throne, and ran off toward the restrooms. Honey shook her head mournfully and continued, "The reindeer were all practicing their Christmas carols when Comet and Cupid couldn't decide how many times Santa checks his list in Santa Claus is Coming to Town! Does anyone here remember how it goes?" she asked, scanning the line for people game enough to help. Honey scampered back and forth along the line trying to choose among the eager volunteers, her white-trimmed, pink fur skirt flaring out around her thighs, her long legs clad in sparkly curly-toed ruby slippers and candy cane swirl stockings catching the eyes of several fathers. Suddenly, she gasped listening carefully to her headset, "Nina?" she called out. "Comet and Cupid say they will only stop arguing if 'Nina' gives the answer. Is there a 'Nina' here today? Nina?" Honey looked around at the crowd carefully until the little girl with the big brown eyes, who had been quietly waiting 57 minutes in line, gathered the courage to raise her hand. "Oh! Are you Nina?" she asked, running over and crouching down near the girl. "We just adopted her; she only speaks Portuguese," the weary woman holding her hand said quietly. Honey gasped and smiled widely, "Voc fala portugu s Nina? Maravilhosa!" she said, watching the little girl's eyes brighten excitedly. "Voc pode me dizer quantas vezes o Papai Noel verifica sua lista?" she asked, holding her microphone out to the little girl. "Duas vezes!" Nina said confidently into the mic. Honey listened carefully to her headset, concentrating, "'Duas vezes' it is! They've stopped arguing!" she announced. "But now, they want us all to sing the song in Portuguese! Nina, voc vai me ajudar a ensin -los a m sica?" she asked. Nina nodded and slowly she and Honey taught the familiar song to the crowd in a new language. As always, a hush came on the crowd when Honey began to sing. Heads raised up from forgotten phones. Vague smiles drifted onto the turning heads of passers-by in the mall as they paused in their frenetic search for gifts. It wasn't so much that Honey's voice was beautiful, though it certainly was. It was more that when Honey sang, it seemed to make the things that didn't really matter melt away. To those that believed in such things, Honey's voice was magic. When she sang, people held their breath and didn't even miss the air. Honey closed her eyes as she sang next to Nina. It was a newly acquired habit. Though she had been taught to let her eyes slowly drift over the audience, letting them make a connection with each person as she sang, she didn't do that anymore. She knew he was out there. She felt his presence frequently as she worked, but it was only when she sang that he came out into the open. She couldn't hold her voice steady when she saw him watching her, so she closed her eyes and let the magic continue for the crowd. When the song ended, Honey opened her eyes as the crowd cheered, finding his powerful form immediately as if she had been commanded to look at him. Zach. He had changed a lot in the year since he brought his sister's children through the long Santa line, drawing her almost too-large dark blue eyes to him then, as easily as he did now. After bringing his nieces and nephews through the line, he'd gone home and brought all his neighbors' kids to see Santa in five more trips, watching her the entire time. He looked at her as if he'd never seen anything like her in the world, like he couldn't believe she was real. She had loved feeling his eyes on her then, hearing his voice. She had wanted to climb up in his lap, feel his large arms curled around her, whisper to him about how good she had been that year, and of how much she hoped he would make her wishes come true. Of course, all that was before he'd told her he wanted to kill her. Zach's face looked leaner now, though his body seemed even larger, if such a thing was possible. His brooding, deep-set eyes were not merry, as they had been when children climbed his tree-like body in her line last year. They weren't nervously soft and adoring of every part of her, as they had been at their candle-lit dinner. His eyes weren't rageful or insane as you might expect from someone visiting their object of murderous hate, but rather; they were tortured, trapped. Pain and quiet desperation had taken up restless residence in the windows to his soul. Honey knew she shouldn't look at him so much, but she just wished she could understand what she had done wrong. Once the line of children and parents had cleared, it was long past the official closing time. Honey cleaned up the display and prepared it for the next day while Norman took one last lingering trip to the restroom. Her phone showed numerous messages from work friends from her other job asking where she was. The firm had planned a Christmas party at Gatsby's, a gorgeous club worthy of F. Scott Fitzgerald's glamorous hero. It was also the place where Zach had taken her on their first and last date. The Gatsby's waiter had looked stunned and confused when she shakily ordered herself an "angel shot," the code-phrase used to quietly ask bartenders or wait staff for help when you felt threatened, but after his initial shock, the waiter immediately escorted her secretly to a taxi waiting outside before Zach returned to the table. Gatsby's had saved her life; but she didn't want to go back there. After avoiding call after call from Zach, she finally answered and politely asked him never to call her again. To her surprise, he didn't. He never spoke to her again. Unless she sang, she never even saw him, but she felt his presence almost everywhere. It felt like she was haunted by him; haunted by something wonderful and magical that, inexplicably, went horribly wrong. Her phone buzzed again, the display showing that the firm's senior partner wanted to FaceTime her. Steeling herself, she answered. "Honey Lane where in the hell; oh my god lookit you!" Aaron Timberman held the phone high above his head with his long ex-basketball-player arms and Honey saw a crowd of her co-workers crowd into the picture behind him. "Um, hi sir. Sorry I'm late to;" "You're an elf!" "Um, yeah. It's a volunteer thing;" "Wait, wait, wait; you have the shoes? You know, with the; toes?" he slurred, motioning his finger in a spiral motion. Honey bit her lips and tilted the camera down her body, showing her entire costume, tilting her foot to show off the curled toe. "I'm sorry it got late tonight, but I'll be there as soon as I can get home and get changed;" Timberman looked around at the crowd surrounding him, "Guys, do we wanna see Honey Lane here at the party in some boring old Anne Klein shit, or do we want the elf?" he yelled, pointing at the screen. Behind him, almost a dozen of her co-workers began chanting "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf!" "Get yer ass over here, Elf," Timberman ordered, poking at his screen several times before effectively ending the call. A few minutes later, Norman finally came back from the restroom and gave Honey a ride over to Gatsby's in his red SUV bedecked with a bumper sticker that read, "My other car's a SLEIGH!" Honey hopped out after getting bits of advice from Norman that would have been appropriate several decades ago. With flaming cheeks, she brushed the furry white pompom from her hat out of her face and told the smirking ma tre d which party she wanted, sighing when he grinned widely and escorted her through the middle of the main dining area, much to her horror. When the doors to the party room opened and she was greeted by another round of "Elf, Elf, Elf, Elf," she didn't feel much better. She was starving, so she headed over to the buffet and began loading up a plate with delicious-looking things on ice in shot glasses, impaled on sticks, or immersed in flames. She just spied a quiet table in a dark corner and was winding her way toward it to it to scarf down her only food since breakfast before she could be drawn into a drunken debate. That was the plan, anyway. "Hunnybaby! Lookit you! C'mon we gotta dance!" Lee James slurred to her fur-trimmed tits. With a sigh, she smiled and laid her plate down on a nearby table, promising to herself that she would eat right after enduring a dance with the favored junior partner. Unfortunately, after Lee angled her awkwardly around the dance floor, they'd drawn so much attention that everyone wanted to get pics of themselves toasting and dancing with the Christmas elf. At some point, she found herself in Timberman's arms with a glass of champagne in her hand. "Um; what?" she said, almost asking herself how she had gotten there. "I said you look lovely, tonight, Honey. Much better than in a shawl and sheath dress," he said, quickly twirling her around as they reached the edge of the dance floor. "Twirling makes my skirt go up; I'm dizzy," she murmured. A familiar dark figure flashed in the background and disappeared as Timberman turned her again. She looked around, trying to find the figure again, but she couldn't see him anywhere. Why was he there? Had she been singing again? "Well, I'll make sure nobody twirls you, my dear," he said, twirling her and smiling as her skirt flew up her long candy-cane striped legs. "The wives wouldn't like it." "I like your wife's dress Mr. Timberman; looks warm. It covers her ass when she sits, too," she slurred, frowning in confusion at the dark red drink in her hand now. Zach was frowning, and then he just looked blurry again as she swirled around. Maybe swirling made it harder for him to kill her. Why did he want to kill her? It just wasn't fair. Timberman leaned down and dipped her, "I'll make sure to give her your compliments. You know, if you like what wives wear, you should consider getting married. Lee is quite taken with you, you know," he said, stroking his hand against the soft pink velvet of her dress. Honey found herself drifting away and wandering inside her head again, thinking about Lee; he was handsome in an overly-polished way, said funny things, but they always sounded a little mean, like he wanted to be the only one laughing; and he also took her away from the food plate that just floated by on a table. It was still full. She should have eaten that food. What time was it? "He likes my boobs; and he doesn't want to kill me," she agreed eventually, surprised to find that Timberman was gone and she was dancing with Lee James again. "Well, I can't blame him for that; they're fucking perfect; just like everything else. I'm gonna come on them after you suck me off; he murmured, pulling her closer against him. "Let me take you home, Honey; penthouse view of the city; "Umm; no, that's not home; I live in the; railroad place; with the trains?" Honey explained, pointing in what she thought was the direction of the Lowertown Commons. Why did every guy think she lived with them tonight? "Sounds charming, Eliza Doolittle; you should trade up. You don't know how much I'd love twist your arms back and fuck this ass wide open over my balcony tonight," he said, reaching his hand under her skirt and greedily squeezing her bottom. "You'd like that, wouldn't you Honey? I can tell; Lee whispered, his cologne invading her head and making her queasy. "I feel sick; Honey whimpered and staggered away, trying to find the quiet table where the food was that would make her less drunk. The dance floor was confusing, though, always turning around and thumping and flashing. She leaned against a pillar until she got a better sense of where she was. She liked the pillar. It was big and strong; and it stroked her hair. "Honey; wake up, Honey. Open your mouth. You need to take these," the vaguely familiar voice said, cutting through the sleep that had been blocking out some of the pain she felt everywhere. She obediently opened her mouth and the hand put two caplets on her tongue. A water bottle squirted a little cool liquid into her mouth until she moaned and sucked harder, desperate for more. "Not too much. Wait until you can hold that down. I'll give you more in a bit. You don't want that IV back, do you?" "Nuh" Honey groaned. She hated needles. Sure, just about every part of her body hurt more than a needle did, right now, but somehow needle pain felt personal. Like with Zach. He didn't seem like someone who went around wanting to choke everybody; just her. She was nobody special; just a simple girl who kept lawyers organized and tried to be nice. Then, someone wonderful like Zach thought she needed to die. That hurt. Something about her made him go from being tender and intensely loving to someone who; it just didn't make sense. What did she do? Mercifully, sleep faded the pain and clouded her thoughts. Voices below her intruded into a wonderful dream where she was bouncing on clouds. Though not in the same room, the voices seemed strangely clear. "I can't; Terry, she cries when I do that," the pills voice said, making her eyes fly open. She knew that voice. She hadn't heard it for a year, but she would never forget it. Her body reacted with a confused mix of emotions, her cheeks flushing and adrenaline searing a path all through her at the same time. "That's because it hurts her. You know what hurts more? Bedsores. Man up. Use the pillows to prop her weight against the parts that aren't hurt on whichever side. It's either this, or she goes back to the hospital, and I have it on good authority you won't be allowed to visit after what happened." "She was screaming; Zach gritted. "Yeah, well they were putting her shoulder back in. People scream. That still doesn't excuse what you did. Since when did you become such a pussy about pain?" Terry asked. "since her." "oh my god." "Shut up," Zach grunted. "Oh my god; "Yeah, that's not shutting up." "The great Z-dog has been taken down;" "Shut up, maggot, it's not like that. I'm just taking care of h;" "By a little bitty pink Christmas elf; Terry laughed. There was a scuffling sound and then a loud whoomp and a forceful exhalation of air. "So, I turn her every few hours until she can do it for herself?" Zach asked, casually. "Yes, sir," Terry choked. "Anything else?" "Clear liquids until she can hold stuff down. Talk to her. Ask her questions. If she seems disoriented or part of her face goes slack, she goes back to the hospital. Don't fuck around." "Got it. Are you squared away, or do we need to discuss this further?" "Squared away, sir," Terry choked, then gasped in relief, panting faintly. "Jesus Christ, you haven't lost your touch. We on for the hump tomorrow at 0 500?" "No. I'm gonna stick close here until she's;" "Got it. Hey, maybe they have those Baby Bjorn things in elf-size. Then, you could just strap her onto your ba; ow! ow! ow, ow, ow!" "You weren't particularly attached to the rest of that sentence, were you, maggot?" Zach growled. "Sir, no sir; Terry squeaked. "I didn't think so. You'll be back here Wednesday," Zach stated, more as an order than a question. "Yeah, if you want me to. Honestly, right now she just needs rest and TLC more than a medic. That stands for 'tender loving care' by the way, not;" "You were just going," Zach said, as the voices moved to another end of the room below her. "Hey, you wanna know what makes an elf's toes curl up like tha;" Terry asked, his question cut off by the slamming of the door. Honey listened, trembling and terrified as Zach paced the floor below her. Though his voice hadn't changed, he sounded nothing like the man that had wooed her so tenderly a year ago. He sounded dangerous, brutal even. He definitely sounded like the kind of person that went around wanting to choke everyone, she thought, strangely relieved that her heartbreak felt a little less personal. How could she have been so wrong in her impression of him? She looked around the room, understanding now how the voices had reached her so easily. She was in an open industrial loft bedroom that opened onto the main floor below. Looking around, she realized she must be in Zach's huge bed, though if the crisply made side next to her was any indication, he hadn't been sleeping in it with her. Looking down her body, she gasped quietly. Her left arm was in a sling strapped to her chest, her legs were covered in bruises, and the right leg that was being stabbed with an invisible knife right now, was wrapped up in an air cast boot. What had happened to her? The last thing she remembered was feeling sick as she tried to get away from Lee's groping hands on the dance floor. After that; nothing. How did she get here? A beeping noise sounded below and Zach walked across the room to what sounded like a kitchen. The sound of water being poured into a cup, the ringing of a spoon stirring it, a pill bottle being opened. Honey shivered, realizing he was probably coming up to her, soon. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing, feigning sleep. Steps ascending to the loft bedroom. Ankle stabbing, stab, stab, stab, stab with every panicked heartbeat. A tray went down on the nightstand next to her. A chair across the room was lifted and set down by the bed. Honey told herself to breathe slowly, willing the tears welling behind her lids not to leak out of her eyes. He would leave her alone if she was sleeping, wouldn't he? "You're not sleeping," Zach's voice stated, quietly, and her stomach clenched in fear. "You've been waking up for these pills every four hours like a junkie. I know you don't want to talk to me, Honey, but until you're squared away, you're gonna have to. So, cut the crap, open your eyes, and let's get this done." Honey opened her eyes to see his grim face looking down at her. With one blink, large tears rolled down her pale cheeks, and Zach's jaw set angrily. Sitting down in the chair, he put his elbows on his knees and leaned his massive shoulders forward, looking at her. His hands looked like they could crush rocks as he gripped them together. "Let's get some things straight. I don't know what you think you know about me, but acting like I'm some kind of psycho is pretty shitty. You want nothing of me, that's fine, but you're hurt because you screamed and flung yourself down some stairs rather than let me help you to an Uber. You're staying here until you're well, because some shithead at that party gave you enough roofies to be in a coma for almost 3 days and I'm not dragging my ass to that rat trap of yours in the Commons every day to make sure they don't come back while you're weak. Are we clear?" he asked. Honey swallowed and nodded, wincing at the pain in her neck and head. That just seemed to make Zach angrier. "While you are here, you will do as you're told. You will eat what you get, and you will not complain. You see these, here?" he said, holding up the magic caplets that made everything better. "These are the last ones you're getting. I'm switching you to ibuprofen and Tylenol because, unchecked, this Sackler shit will fuck you up for good and that's not happening on my watch. Do you understand?" he asked. "Yes," Honey whispered. At the sound of her voice, Zach's mouth twitched, but at least he didn't look as angry as when she'd nodded and winced. "You will follow your doctor's orders to the last goddamn word. You will rest. You will do your therapy. You will let me help you and you will ask me for what you need because I am not a fucking mind reader. And so help me, if you do anything stupid like get out of that bed without me here to help you, or push yourself away from me like you did at Gatsby's, or any other drama shit that hurts even one hair on that head again, I will personally make you regret you were ever born." "Yes, Zach," Honey breathed, confused. Two more tears rolled down her cheeks. Without thinking, she leaned over to wipe them off on her shoulder and cried out in pain. Zach squeezed his clenched hands together and several of his knuckles cracked. "You don't use my name. You don't get to use my name. You're not getting under my skin again, you hear me?" Zach growled, using his rough knuckle to wipe her tears. "Orders a fucking angel shot in my own fucking club; fuck you. I don't have a name, you don't have a name. You're nothing to me. Understand?" "Yes, sir," she whispered. Honey leaned forward and took the last spoonful of broth into her mouth and swallowed, looking longingly at the noodles at the bottom of the cup. Zach caught a drop of broth at the bottom of her lower lip with the spoon and returned it to her mouth. "No," he said, seeing where her eyes lingered. "I can do it," she pleaded. "Please; I haven't had anything solid since; how long has it been?" "I said, no. You throw up on another pair of my skivvies and I'll be doing laundry twice a week," Zach said, dabbing her mouth with a paper towel. "Why do I have to wear your boxer briefs anyway? They feel weird. They have this hole-flap thing; and there are some places that aren't supposed to feel a breeze," Honey said, lifting the blanket to look down at his underwear loosely covering her hips. "Are you complaining?" he asked quietly. Honey's eyes darted quickly to his face, "No sir," she murmured, looking down at her lap. "I just thought if I had some of my things here, you wouldn't have to do the laundry so much." "I'll worry about what I have to do, Honey," he said, unthinkingly using her name. Startled, she looked up to see his eyes wandering over her, his massive t-shirt sleeves going down past her elbows. She felt ridiculous and disheveled, but something about the way he looked at her made her hold her breath. Then, without another word, he slurped the noodles out of the cup and took the tray downstairs. After that, the two settled into a quiet routine of him feeding her, giving her medicine, and watching her sleep most of the day. She would sometimes awaken to the soft repetitive sounds of him running on a treadmill, or the clinking of him lifting weights downstairs where she couldn't see him. Then, he would go to the bathroom and shower. After his shower, he came upstairs again in his towel and took some clothes from his dresser before going back downstairs to change. Honey found herself looking forward to those few seconds each day, watching his droplet-covered torso twist as he leaned over his dresser. He frowned as he flipped through his carefully folded underwear. "You wearing the grey ones?" he asked, not looking at her. Honey peeked under the covers, "Um, yes sir," she replied. "I'm supposed to wear the grey ones today," he grumbled to himself. Honey didn't say anything. Zach was the one who picked out which underwear she wore today. He was the one who looked away while he painstakingly slipped the old ones off her hips and pulled the new ones over her boot and up her legs until her bottom was covered again. There was nothing about her life that wasn't chosen and executed by him. If he wasn't happy about the color of his underwear, that was his fault. Still, Zach kept rummaging around in his underwear drawer as if another crisply folded grey pair would somehow magically appear. Finally, rather than offend him by laughing, Honey spoke, "Um; you know, if they're clean, I could wear the pair I had on when I went to the hospital and you could have these. It would get you back on schedule; Zach lifted his head from the drawer and glared at her, as if he thought she was making fun of him. Honey held carefully still and shrugged her uninjured limb. She wasn't making fun, she just wanted to help. The movement caused the huge neckline to gape over to the side, revealing her bare shoulder. She waited as Zach stared impassively at her, the vein at his neck throbbing. After a long moment, he walked over and stood next to her, the tuck of his towel right next to her face. With every breath, she inhaled the scent of his wet body and the bar soap he used. A rivulet of water painstakingly slid from his chest and down his abdomen, until finally disappearing into the tightly twisted white cotton. Honey glanced up to see that he had been reading her face as she watched the droplet's progress. With a shaking breath, she blushed and pulled the covers higher with her good arm. With a twist of his mouth, Zach pulled the neckline back over her shoulder again and quickly left the room. That night, after leaving her with a video baby monitor watching her on the nightstand, Zach returned with a bag of her underwear and some of her nightgowns. After watching her excitedly sort through them, Zach pushed them aside and sat on the edge of the bed. "There were a bunch of boxes with tags on them in your living room. What's that about?" he asked. Honey's eyes dropped, "Oh; that's the charity gift thing for kids. You sign up and get them something they wished for and wrap it up so they can have something under the tree, when they wouldn't have something otherwise. It's nice, you know? I signed up for a bunch and I was supposed to wrap them and get them back to the law firm, but I guess; sorry kids," she trailed off. Looking furious, yet carefully impassive at the same time, Zach cursed under his breath and left again, returning with the packages and a huge stack of unused Styrofoam clamshells from Gatsby's, and dumped them on the bed next to her. For the next few hours, they "wrapped" the presents, Zach carefully fitting items into an appropriate-sized takeout box, and Honey trying to make them pretty with ribbons. As she watched him work, occasionally cursing under his breath, she found herself smiling at his frowning face when he was strategizing how to fit a basketball into three disassembled clamshells. "What are you laughing at?" he said, glaring when he caught her at it. "I wasn't laughing. I was smiling." "Why were you smiling, then?" he asked. "I guess; I just like you; sir," she said, glancing over at him. Honey saw a hopeful softness steal into Zach's eyes until he forcibly wrestled it down and a look of hooded sarcasm shaded them. "Yeah, well; fool me once," he sneered. Angry, Honey closed her eyes, blocking him out the only way she could. "You know, that's; that's not fair. Not after what you said; you scared me!" she said, frustrated that, once again, tears were rolling down her cheeks. Zach choked out a mirthless laugh, "I scared you? What did I say, Honey? What did I fucking say? God! I was on eggshells all night trying not to fuck it up with you and then you just; why? Those creeps you were dancing with at that party, those fucking 'nice guys' that drugged you, they were saying shit that made my skin crawl! I didn't even kiss you! I couldn't! I could barely breathe just for looking at you on our date; you looked just like a fucking angel. What did I say, Honey? What did I say?" Honey reached over and grabbed her phone, flipping through her photo album to a screenshot taken shortly before she blocked his number. "You didn't say it; you texted it. I remember watching you leave for the restroom thinking I'd met the love of my life and then you sent me this; she said, handing her phone to him. Zach took the phone, his face going from an angry red to pale horror in a matter of seconds. "This; this; he gasped, "I didn't; send this; to you; he said, shaking his head. "Whoever had your phone did, sir!" she said, emphasizing the last word, making him wince. "I spent the last year thinking you wanted to do that to me; to kill me. Every time I felt you watching me, every crowd I saw you show up in, every dark room I had to go into, that's what I thought about. I thought that a man I was head over heels about; that I could be so wrong about him. So, excuse me for thinking I liked you, sir. I promise it won't ever happen again!" Honey cried herself to sleep that night, refusing to speak to, or even look at Zach again. When she awoke, the bedroom was empty, and a glass of water and a pain pill were waiting on the nightstand. After swallowing the pill, she stared at the ceiling, furious. She didn't want to be there anymore, to be helpless and dependent on him, to obey all his stupid rules. He didn't deserve to take care of her. So, she tightened the straps on her boot and increased the air pressure to hold her broken ankle tightly enough to walk without her crutches. Then, she took off Zach's t-shirt, pulled on her elf dress, and called herself an Uber. It was when she saw the anticipated arrival time of 8 minutes that she realized her mistake. There was no way for her to get down from the loft and out of the apartment quietly in that amount of time. If she used the crutches, she would be able to descend the stairs quickly enough, but they made such a distinctive clicking racket that they would surely wake up her gorilla-like guard. If she hopped down the stairs on her good foot, it might have worked, but her good arm was on the opposite side and she kept losing her balance. Eventually she decided on the most painful course, of going down on her good and bad legs, using her good arm for support. Her boot thunked horribly the first few times, until she got the hang of it and could place it more quietly on the next step and then hop her good foot down to support it before the scream inside her could escape her lips. By the time she reached the bottom, though, she was shaking with pain and exhausted. Curiosity forced her to look around the rest of the apartment as she caught her breath, sitting on the bottom step. It was clean and unmistakably masculine. Exercise equipment took up a lot of the space not already claimed by a leather couch and TV arrangement. Zach lay on the couch, made up with sheets to act as a bed, his feet sticking out over the arm, his hand tucked under the back of his head, his chest rising and falling under the rumpled sheet. If she wasn't so angry, she'd find him handsome; or maybe he still was handsome, she thought grudgingly, closing her eyes miserably and looking away. Why couldn't he be ugly? Life wasn't fair. Uber. Right. Screwing up her courage for what was ahead, she stood and slowly hobbled across the hardwood floor, agonizing over every painful thump and noisy squeak until she finally reached the door. She unlocked the five locks on his large door, each of them being well-oiled and working perfectly. She expected no less of her anal-retentive, grey-skivvies-on-Tuesdays captor. Finally, she tugged open the heavy door to find endless flights of icy steel-mesh stairs leading all the way down to the street where her Uber was waiting. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me; she cried, breaking down into tears. A strong arm slid down around her waist and mercifully shifted her weight off her throbbing foot, "I know. It sucks. You should try it with a rucksack full of bricks," Zach said, leaning his head down and breathing into her hair. "I want to go home," she whispered. "Let me take care of you; please," Zach murmured into the top of her head, "I; it was my fault this happened to you. I scared you, I know that now; but, please believe me that I would never want to hurt or frighten you like that." "It wasn't just that text," she said, pulling her head away and looking up at him angrily. "All year, I never had a moment's peace. Even when I couldn't see you, I could feel you waiting in the quiet or dark places. Even if you weren't there;" "I was there," he confessed. "I was always there. I didn't understand what had gone wrong. You didn't want to talk to me, and the world just didn't make sense to me unless I knew where you were, what you were doing; unless I knew you were safe." "Maybe you knew I was safe, but I didn't! I thought I'd done something; that somehow I deserved to have this beautiful, scary monster hunting me. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd done to destroy something that was so; wonderful." "You didn't do anything, Honey. Nothing at all. You were perfect. You were so perfect that I couldn't keep; you didn't do anything wrong. I never meant to send you that message; please, please believe me." "Why did you send it?" she asked, finally looking up into his eyes. The dark blue liquid pools of her eyes turned violet in the moonlight, and Zach felt a tightening in his chest. "I; I can't tell you that; but it was never meant for you." "You mean, you meant to send that message to someone else? To hurt them like that?" "Honey, I; Zach said, looking around, unable to meet her eyes, "Please, I can't; you wouldn't understand; my life isn't like that anymore." "I want to go home, Zach; please," she whispered. Zach closed his eyes for a long moment before he swallowed and nodded, looking like he was in more pain than she was. "I'll take you home tomorrow, okay? Or Terry will, if you don't want me to. He'll check the place out, make sure you're set up and safe there. You're tired, you're hurting, and your Uber's gone, now. Let me take you back upstairs and you can go in the morning. Please." At that moment, a throb of pain shot through her entire leg, and as angry as Honey was, she knew she couldn't face her empty apartment without a few more hours of rest. "Okay," she whispered. To be continued in part 2, Based on a post by Lingering Afterthought, in 3 parts, for Literotica.

It's Xmas time and we're talking about everybody's favorite holiday media. We talk about the album, 69 Love Songs, from The Magnetic Fields. We also discuss Eyes Wide Shut from director Stanley Kubrick. With special guest, Captain Raoul.   69 Love Songs Eyes Wide Shut

In this episode things gets more practical. We walk through the most common ways your peace gets chipped away during separation and simple, realistic ways to protect it without guilt or over explaining yourself. - - - - - - - - - - - - Want that chapter checklist just Click Here! To Join the waitlist for the Separation Survival Scholarship Program HERE For more information on the the "From Devastated to Divorced" Course, click the HERE! Find the Prompt Journal Digital Downloads HERE! ( but they there are also included in the course, YES all 5!) Great news! Now you can find everything you need in one spot! want to listen to this podcast off of apple, visit www.JosieFalcon.com Want to know about my services, you guessed it visit www.JosieFalcon.com you can email me at CoachJFalcon@gmail.com If you want to just send me a quick note, you can find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/Josie.Falcon And lastly, If you would like to interact with me and share with others please join my Facebook group  "Separation, Divorce & Starting Over"

Jeff Lewis has been issued a serious warning, shut the fu*k up!! Mr. Lewis seems to have ruffled a few feathers as of late and this time it comes with a stern message. Sutton slams Garcelle as fake and her cast mates weigh in with a few thoughts of their own. This season of RHOBH moves on and newbie Amanda Frances has made a bang with a debut that means business. Last, but not least, the Summer House trailer explodes with a West/ Jesse/ Ciara love triangle, six newbies, a Kyle and Carl physical smackdown and last, but not least, Kyle sleeping over a fan's house.  @behindvelvetrope @davidyontef BONUS & AD FREE EPISODES Available at - www.patreon.com/behindthevelvetrope  BROUGHT TO YOU BY: HOMESERVE - homeserve.com (Home Owners Insurance That Start At Just $4.99 a Month) RAKUTEN - rakuten.co.uk (Go To Rakuten.co.uk, Download The App Or Install The Browser Extension To Earn Cash Back While You Shop At All Your Favorite Stores) PROGRESSIVE - www.progressive.com (Visit Progressive.com To See If You Could Save On Car Insurance) ADVERTISING INQUIRIES - Please contact David@advertising-execs.com MERCH Available at - https://www.teepublic.com/stores/behind-the-velvet-rope?ref_id=13198 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sports with Rod 12-18-2025 …The ODU Football Monarchs Reign Supreme! …Shut-up Stephen …Thinking Inward with Kaleem

Philadelphia Eagles LT Jordan Mailata joins ESP and Spike Eskin LIVE at Chickie's and Pete's for this week's Jordan Mailata Show! Jordan and the guys react to the shutout win over the Raiders and discuss if things on the offensive side of the ball have been fixed. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Watch The X22 Report On Video No videos found (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:17532056201798502,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-9437-3289"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="https://cdn2.decide.dev/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs");pt> Click On Picture To See Larger Picture Trump is putting all the pieces together for the new economic system. Gas prices are dropping like a rock. Silver prices are now higher than oil prices. Trump is building a smelting factory in TN to compete against China. The Fed is buying the debt which will destroy the Fed. Is Trump working with Jamie Dimon? The [DS] is losing control, evidence is being dripped out against the [DS]. News is being released against them so they are attacking like a wild animal. The infiltration in this country and other countries was directed by the same [DS] players. They will use this to create chaos WW. Trump knows playbook, meanwhile Trump is dismantling their system world wide. Never interfere with an enemy while they are in the process of destroying themselves. Be prepared. Economy (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:18510697282300316,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-8599-9832"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="https://cdn2.decide.dev/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs"); https://twitter.com/TrumpWarRoom/status/2000567788856119385?s=20 https://twitter.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2000582117294846292?s=20   in mid-2022. Since then, silver prices have surged +206% while oil prices have dropped -44%. WTI Crude is now on track for its worst year since the 2020 pandemic decline, down -20%, while silver is on its best annual performance since 1979, up +115%. We are witnessing a major macroeconomic shift. https://twitter.com/EricLDaugh/status/2000622821697822926?s=20   some stake in the venture. The list includes: Gallium, Germanium, Indium. Antimony, Copper, Silver, Gold, and Zinc. This will be CRITICAL for producing things at home without relying on China, including defense systems and semiconductors. THIS IS HUGE!   https://twitter.com/profstonge/status/2000543866047308139?s=20 https://twitter.com/JoeLang51440671/status/2000587776232739114?s=20  years. They have been directly involved in all kinds of money laundering operations from major drug trafficking to pedophile blackmail rings like Epstein. They have done ALL of this KNOWINGLY. When you KNOWINGLY commit these types of crimes, you are participating in a massive “conspiracy.” Do you see the vulnerability? Hillary was never supposed to lose. Trump became the most powerful man on the planet, the moment he was sworn in as president back in 2017. Trump instantly became a threat to the entire corrupt system and had the military behind him. He took control of the most powerful central bank in the world and also controlled the world's reserve currency. He also controlled the DOJ. Jamie Dimon was vulnerable. But was he “leveraged” by Trump? I believe the answer is yes and the timeline of events proves it. In 2019, precious metals traders at JPM were convicted of manipulating the metals prices by “spoofing.” They would place fake orders, with no intention of taking delivery. JPM was FORCED to pay a fine of almost a billion dollars. That was the moment JPM was captured. And what has happened recently? Jamie Dimon just announced, that for the first time in its history, they have dumped their SILVER shorts and have gone long on SILVER. JPM is the largest holder of physical SILVER in the world at 750 million ounces. That is KEY. That 750 million ounces of SILVER are subject to Trump's Executive Order signed back in December of 2017, that was renewed each year of Biden's presidency. That's not a coincidence. I believe that 750 million ounces of SILVER are going to be the new U.S. Strategic SILVER Reserve. But here's what's interesting and indicates that JPM is now a tool in Trump's hand, taking down the global banking cabal. The SILVER and Gold prices are controlled by two entities. The big bullion banks associated with the LBMA (London Bullion Market Association), which sets the “spot” price of “physical SILVER” in London and the COMEX on Wall Street, that sets the “paper SILVER” price for futures trading. It's a massive derivative market used to manipulate the price, where the same physical SILVER is traded at hundreds of times its worth because most transactions NEVER demand delivery. A truly “fractional” system rampant with fraud. But suddenly something changed on the COMEX. There was a massive increase in demand for physical delivery of SILVER, instead of taking “cash.” Someone was now beginning to hoard physical SILVER. That FORCED the bullion banks in London, to start emptying their vaults and shipping large amounts of SILVER to New York vaults at the COMEX. Guess who owns the largest SILVER vault on COMEX? None other than JPM. And now we know that they were the one demanding physical delivery of SILVER as they were unloading ALL their paper contracts and hoarding physical SILVER. We have watched for months, the flow of physical SILVER leave London and head to New York. The days of the bullion banks controlling the SILVER price are over and their vaults have been emptied, which FORCED them to buy SILVER and drive the price higher. JPM, who had been in cahoots with LBMA forever, just cut the legs out from under them and caused those bullion banks to take heavy losses from their SILVER shorts. JPM trapped LBMA by demanding huge leasing rates for their SILVER supply. That FORCED them to purchase SILVER in order to fulfill orders. That's what helped to end the manipulation of the SILVER price, as JPM went fully long for the very first time. We are just finding out now, that JPM is the bank that caused all the panic at LBMA and ENDED the manipulation of SILVER. We own the most Gold and the most SILVER. Ready for a RESET Political/Rights https://twitter.com/sircalebhammer/status/2000400581316460778?s=20 https://twitter.com/mtracey/status/2000593491089559998?s=20 Just In: Rob Reiner's Son Arrested and Charged in Grisly Murder of Parents Rob Reiner's son, Nick, was arrested on Monday in connection with the murder of the Hollywood director and his wife, Michelle, and booked on $4 million bail. Reiner was open about his son Nick's drug addiction and made a movie about the family's experience with his drug problem. According to The New York Post, Nick Reiner has been charged with murder. The couple's daughter, Romy, found the couple in their home with their throats slashed. The New York Post reported: Source: thegatewaypundit.com https://twitter.com/BreitbartNews/status/2000563249616712181?s=20   with his obvious paranoia reaching new heights as the Trump Administration surpassed all goals and expectations of greatness, and with the Golden Age of America upon us, perhaps like never before. May Rob and Michele rest in peace! https://twitter.com/MikeBenzCyber/status/1700845324942925921?s=20 Reiner said jack after the attempted assassination on Trump. Trump was honest, but still called it “sad” and said “rest in peace.” Did he need to say the other things? Probably not. But why does he have to be nice with the absolute vile shit these people have said? https://twitter.com/amuse/status/2000363854849507441?s=20 https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/2000377216736334189?s=20 https://twitter.com/catturd2/status/2000174373676925123?s=20 One was banned for rejecting a deadly vaccine. The other was imported despite having a deadly ideology. https://twitter.com/ColonelTowner/status/2000517544084488656?s=20   why would anyone do that? That's simple, they want you either dead bc they view you as a useless eater or controlled using fear and psychological operations which equals terror attacks. Insert terrorist here. Operation Gladio proved beyond any doubt you own government will kill you whenever the fuck they want and don't give a shit about the blown back, especially when they own all the guns. Which is a primary goal of the US false flags so they can take ours. It worked so well everywhere else even in New Zealand. But not here. It will never work here and that really pisses them off. Plan accordingly. https://twitter.com/MarioNawfal/status/2000629428838166644?s=20   ISIS hotspot in the Philippines just weeks before the deadly attack. The 2 traveled alone to Southeast Asia, raising major red flags for authorities now investigating possible overseas radicalization. Intelligence sources say the region they visited is linked to ISIS training camps, calling it “a well-trodden path for Islamic State” operatives since 2019. Naveed Akram had been on ASIO's radar since 2019 but was not previously deemed an immediate threat. Officials are now probing whether the suspects were influenced or trained during their time abroad before returning to commit one of Australia's deadliest terror attacks in years. Source: The Daily Telegraph, NY Post https://twitter.com/mrddmia/status/2000432832557289749?s=20 https://twitter.com/nypost/status/2000549271657996678?s=20 https://twitter.com/CynicalPublius/status/2000610717016449275?s=20   blocks, so the jihadists murder Jews with machetes; Then you ban machetes, so the jihadists murder Jews with kitchen knives; Then you ban kitchen knives, so the jihadists murders Jews with large rocks; Then you ban large rocks…. ————————— You seem to be missing the constant component to these crimes, and it ain’t the weapon. https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/2000529088046625122?s=20 https://twitter.com/DC_Draino/status/2000569974755311679?s=20 https://twitter.com/TimOnPoint/status/2000552644402618629?s=20 Brown University has almost 1,000 cameras across campus. No footage. No information. Nothing. – The shooter seemed to have targeted the Vice President of the Republican Club – Person of interest has been released, shooter is still at large. Just wow.They do have a tips line, so why not show the person so people can identify him/her. https://twitter.com/CynicalPublius/status/2000424946816925931?s=20 https://twitter.com/C_3C_3/status/2000413597198123046?s=20 https://twitter.com/C_3C_3/status/2000582226497389052?s=20  , law enforcement recovered two firearms—a revolver and a Glock handgun (described in some accounts as a 9mm with a laser sight)—from the hotel room at the Hampton Inn in Coventry, Rhode Island, where person of interest Benjamin Erickson was detained in connection with the Brown University shooting.  Authorities are investigating whether these weapons are linked to the incident, which killed two students and injured nine others on December 14, 2025.  Erickson was later released as the evidence reportedly shifted in another direction, and the manhunt for the shooter continues. https://twitter.com/FBIDirectorKash/status/2000589113380987097?s=20   pro-Palestinian, anti-law-enforcement, and anti-government ideology. They were allegedly planning coordinated IED bombing attacks on New Year’s Eve, targeting five separate locations across Los Angeles. In the days since, @FBINewOrleans arrested an additional FIFTH individual believed to be linked to this radical TILF subgroup – also allegedly planning a separate violent attack. Outstanding work by our investigators and law enforcement partners @TheJusticeDept . Their work undoubtedly saved countless lives. @FBILosAngeles will hold a press conference later today to share additional details.  The four defendants named in the complaint are Audrey Illeene Carroll, 30, Zachary Aaron Page, 32, Dante Gaffield, 24, and 41-year-old Tina Lai. According to a sworn statement in support of the complaint, Carroll in November presented an eight-page handwritten document to a paid confidential source titled “Operation Midnight Sun” which described a bomb plot. Carroll and Page later allegedly recruited the other two defendants to help carry out the plan, which included them “acquiring bomb-making materials and traveling to a remote location in the Mojave Desert to construct and detonate test explosive devices on December 12, 2025,” the sworn statement alleges.  https://twitter.com/nypost/status/2000627062529228902?s=20 https://twitter.com/WarClandestine/status/2000616790175461455?s=20 https://twitter.com/RamboAndFrens/status/2000614500563918985?s=20 https://twitter.com/TonySeruga/status/2000645622987473142?s=20  the digital director for California Governor Gavin Newsom, a role she has held since around June 2024, leading a small team of three that handles graphic design, social media strategy, and rapid-response content across platforms like X (formerly Twitter), Threads, TikTok, and Bluesky. She is directly responsible for managing and overseeing Newsom’s social media presence. DOGE Geopolitical https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/2000344607218127143?s=20 José Antonio Kast is very much onboard with Donald Trump. He has repeatedly expressed admiration for Trump’s policies, congratulated him on his election victories, and aligned his own agenda with Trump-style approaches to issues like immigration, crime, and economic incentives. For instance, Kast has publicly wished Trump success in his presidency for the benefit of Chile, Latin America, and the world @joseantoniokast , praised Trump’s ideas on expediting approvals for major investments @joseantoniokast , and endorsed Trump’s tough stance on deportations and sanctions against countries that refuse to accept their nationals back @joseantoniokast . He also condemned the 2024 assassination attempt on Trump and highlighted the loss of life among Trump’s supporters Maria Corina Machado Says Hundreds Of Thousands Venezuelans Will Return Home Once Maduro Goes Venezuelan opposition leader and Nobel Peace Prize Laureate María Corina Machado believes “hundreds of thousands” of Venezuelans will return to their country from all over the world once the socialist Maduro regime goes. “The day Maduro goes, you will see tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of Venezuelan migrants coming back home from the United States and all over the world,” Machado on Sunday told CBS News. “I mean, our diaspora is desperate to go back to Venezuela. So even from that perspective, it is a win, win situation to have democracy in Venezuela.” Machado arrived in Oslo, Norway last week to receive the 2025 Nobel Peace Prize after spending over a year in hiding facing threats of arrest by the Maduro regime.  Hours later, she confirmed that the Trump administration helped her escape from Venezuela. source: breitbart.com War/Peace https://twitter.com/visegrad24/status/2000607318229286957?s=20 [DS] Agenda https://twitter.com/amuse/status/2000559689873166522?s=20 https://twitter.com/WallStreetApes/status/2000353004281794978?s=20  a perception that I’m quoting now, that forcefully tackling this issue would cause political backlash from the Somali community, which is a core voting block for Democrats” Seriously, how are Democrats not getting raided and thrown in prison https://twitter.com/AwakenedOutlaw/status/2000632685178626084?s=20   Democrat Money Laundering Discovered – Names include Gretchen Whitmer, Jon Ossoff and Cory Booker “It now appears that the six lawmakers have been found to have been heavily involved in money laundering. Investigative Reporter/Citizen Journalist, Bob Cushman, has just released an FEC data analysis that strongly suggests that Mark Kelly, Elissa Slotkin, Jason Crow, Chris Deluzio, Chrissy Houlahan and Maggie Goodlander have been recipients of illegally laundered campaign funds. In the initial investigation, Cushman cites 22 Smurf examples that have “allegedly” contributed almost three million dollars in more than 95,000 separate donations to Democratic coffers. All six members of the Seditious Six have received funds from one or more of these “smurfs” President Trump's Plan New memos show how corruption probe into Clinton Foundation was killed: ‘We were told NO by FBI HQ' Drip, drip, drip: A newly-declassified timeline exposes how the FBI’s investigation of the Clinton Foundation was hamstrung by DOJ leaders while the inquiry into Trump-Russia collusion hoax marched forward. This isn’t the first tranche of evidence pointing to political interference. Atop Republican senator has provided Just the News a timeline written by FBI investigators laying out the repeated political obstruction those agents faced from their own bosses and the Justice Department during the 2016 election and beyond as they probed whether Hillary Clinton engaged in a pay-to-play corruption scheme involving her family foundation. “Field agents were frustrated. But HQ would not let it go forward,” the newly-released and lengthy investigative timeline reveals. “We were trying to explore the [Clinton] Foundation, and we were told ‘NO' by FBI HQ.” Not the first timeline showing interference “Shut it down!” then-Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates is quoted as demanding in the shorter timeline of the politicized barriers that agents in New York City, Little Rock, Ark., and Washington D.C. reported. The shorter timeline — written by a DOJ lawyer assigned to the FBI under former bureau Director James Comey — was secured by top aides to Patel and was obtained by Just the News earlier this year. The newly-released and longer timeline was handed over to Grassley's office by the FBI along with a host of corroborating internal emails and was recently provided to Just the News. Agents struggled for years to investigate Clinton Foundation The longer timeline indicated that questions about the Clinton Foundation's potential criminality were raised as early as April 2010, when there was a “consensually-monitored call between [Redacted] Sant Singh Chatwal” during which there was a “description of conversations with foreign donors (Amar Singh, Lakshmi Mittal, Deepak Chopra, Praful Patel, Subhash Chandra) about giving to HRC.” McCabe stops the Clinton Foundation investigation from moving forward in 2016 The shorter timeline revealed that as early as February 2016, the Justice Department “indicated they would not be supportive of an FBI investigation.” The shorter timeline also shows that, in mid-February 2016, McCabe ordered that “no overt investigative steps” were allowed to be taken in the Clinton Foundation investigation “without his approval” — a command he allegedly repeated numerous times over the coming months. John Huber, Uranium One, and the continued stalling of the CF inquiry The Hill had reported in October 2017 that “before the Obama administration approved a controversial deal in 2010 giving Moscow control of a large swath of American uranium, the FBI had gathered substantial evidence that Russian nuclear industry officials were engaged in bribery, kickbacks, extortion and money laundering designed to grow Vladimir Putin's atomic energy business inside the United States.” The Hill said that “federal agents used a confidential U.S. witness working inside the Russian nuclear industry to gather extensive financial records, make secret recordings and intercept emails as early as 2009 that showed Moscow had compromised an American uranium trucking firm with bribes and kickbacks in violation of the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.” “They also obtained an eyewitness account — backed by documents — indicating Russian nuclear officials had routed millions of dollars to the U.S. designed to benefit former President Bill Clinton's charitable foundation during the time Secretary of State Hillary Clinton served on a government body that provided a favorable decision to Moscow,” The Hill reported. Source: justthenews.com https://twitter.com/WarClandestine/status/2000621732932039106?s=20  solved by asking nicely. Unprecedented circumstances require unprecedented action. It's time for Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act, deploy the US MIL to every city in America, safeguard the public, completely uproot the Left-wing terrorist network, deport the illegals, secure elections, arrest the traitors who are responsible for all this, and save the Republic. https://twitter.com/drawandstrike/status/2000020569731809454?s=20   known as ‘The Federal Judiciary’ and the ‘The United States Congress’ to become actual America First branches of the federal government. This is not as easy as I make it sound just typing that out. It’s been a hard slog for Trump and his Dream Team Cabinet to get the Executive Branch where it now is after 11 months. We’re almost to the point the Insurrection Act can be invoked and most of the US Congress and a significant part of the federal judiciary can be arrested and replaced. 2026 is going to be quite awesome. https://twitter.com/EricLDaugh/status/2000686487352877517?s=20 https://twitter.com/MJTruthUltra/status/2000666864020808164?s=20 https://twitter.com/AwakenedOutlaw/status/2000329752251654517?s=20  . Oh, and note how matters regarding Tina Peters is coming to a head in parallel. Do you think that’s just happenstance? (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:13499335648425062,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-7164-1323"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="//cdn2.customads.co/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs");

Today's Sports Daily covers Mahomes vs Brady comparison, why the Colts have struggled, the Bengals with one of the more bizarre shut out losses you'll see, & updates from the Circa Survivor and Million contests. Music written by Bill Conti & Allee Willis (Casablanca Records/Universal Music Group)  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Barry Svrluga joins the show to discuss the Commanders shutting down Daniels, and gets into why he wouldn't shut him down.

12.16.25 Hour 2 1:00- Barry Svrluga joins the show to discuss the Commanders shutting down Daniels, and gets into why he wouldn't shut him down. 20:00- Should the Commanders bring Deebo Samuel back in 2026?

This week there is a lot of union talk and then we review some of the trailers from the Game Awards.  Peterson gives a review of Expedition 33: Clair Obscur.  

Comprehensive coverage of the day's news with a focus on war and peace; social, environmental and economic justice. Barbara Johns Plaque at Virginia Capitol, photo: Leonard Woody Faith-based protesters shut ICE regional headquarters in SF, over 40 arrested; Oakland considers Police Dept contract with private surveillance company as opponents cite past surveillance abuses; Trump announces blockade of Venezuela, as Pentagon says will not release video of Sept 2 boat attack; US Capitol replaces Robert E Lee statue with one of Barbara Rose Johns, who at 16 led student strike against segregated schools; Trump administration says president's White House ballroom project is matter of national security The post Faith-based protesters shut ICE regional headquarters in SF; Oakland considers Police contract with private surveillance company – December 16, 2025 appeared first on KPFA.

After two disappointing AFC North outings in a row, things were beginning to look bleak for the Ravens' chances to win the division. With a huge shutout victory over the Bengals today, Baltimore eliminated their rivals from postseason contention, and made themselves feel a whole lot better about ultimately getting there themselves. The guys are here to talk about a huge day for Zach Orr's defense, a second week in a row that Lamar Jackson has looked more like himself, how they feel about the Ravens chances of keeping it rolling, and much more. Thanks as always for tuning in, and we'll be back at you very soon! Hosts: Jake Louque, Spencer Schultz, Brian Black, Taylor Smyth Producer: Jake Louque Thanks to our presenting sponsors, Jimmy's Seafood, Fed Thrill Sunglasses, Black Eyed Susan Spices, Morning Mugs Coffee Follow the show on social: Twitter: @Exit52Podcast, @JumboSetPodcast IG: exit52podcast TikTok: exit52podcast Music: "Soul Strut" by Taylor Fields (@EDCBurner)

Thank you for listening to the Oasis LA podcast! For more information to attend a gathering in person, or about Oasis, please visit Oasisla.org. To give, visit Oasisla.org/give. We love you so much and we'll see you soon! 

Local 12 Digital Sports Columnist and Editor Richard Skinner was joined by Mike Petraglia from CLNS media to analyze the Cincinnati Bengals loss to the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday, Dec. 14, 2025. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Thanks to some late-moment heroics from Brandon Miller to hit a clutch three to tie the game in regulation, Charlotte shut out an opponent in overtime for the second time in franchise history to pick up a 119-111 victory on the road. Rob Longo and Sam Perley discuss the key moments and pick their favorite performances of the night, and also chat about Sam's recent article on Hornets.com that highlight's the art of the shot block from Hornets rookie Ryan Kalkbrenner.

Pastor Andy Cass 'Tis the season of noise—commercials, carols, wrapping paper, and endless hustle. But what if the greatest miracle of Christmas isn't found in the noise… but in the silence? In this Christmas message, Pastor Andy explores the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth in Luke 1, reminding us that sometimes God speaks loudest when we finally stop to listen. Big Idea: Silence is not the absence of sound. Silence is the space where God is invited to speak. TEXT: Luke 1:5–23, Galatians 6:9, Habakkuk 1:2, Mark 4:38–41, 1 Thessalonians 5:19–21, Luke 19:40 NOTES: The Problem: We are surrounded by noise—audible and internal—that muffles the most important voices in our lives. The Plan: Turn down the noise and create space to hear God. Practical Steps — How to Set Up Silence: Keep work at work. Shut off the screens. Try one weeknight with no TV or phone. No-phone zone. Leave your device overnight. Pause social media. Open your doors. Invite someone over—build connection. Make a memory. Do something simple and meaningful. Schedule silence. Set a time to be still and listen. Faith Formation Plan: Calm the Storm: Invite Jesus to quiet your chaos (Mark 4:38–41). Sit in Silence: Learn the art of listening—faith and doubt can both lean in. Raise Your Praise: If you stay silent, creation won't (Luke 19:40). Stay Connected: Give: https://theecho.churchcenter.com/giving Online Service: Sundays 9 AM (YouTube & Facebook Live) Connect: https://theecho.churchcenter.com/people/forms/113001 Instagram: @wearetheechochurch #EchoChurch #ChristianSermon #FaithGrowth #BibleTeaching

In episode 1979, Jack and guest co-host Blake Wexler are joined by comedian and host of Pod Yourself A Gun and Bad Hasbara, Matt Lieb, to discuss… Time Magazine’s 2025 Person Of The Year Is… The “Architects Of AI”, Tim Pool Is Circling The Drain, Eyes Wide Shut Is The Weirdest Christmas Movie To Watch In 2025 and more! Time Magazine Skewered Over ‘Person of the Year’ Reveal Time Magazine’s 2025 Person Of The Year Is… The “Architects Of AI” Time picked a rough day to announce its ‘Person of the Year’ Behind the Photo: Lunch Atop a Skyscraper The Story Behind ‘Lunch Atop A Skyscraper,’ The Photo That Inspired Great Depression-Era America MAGA Star Refuses to Give Cops Footage of Alleged Shooting Eyes Wide Shut is the ultimate Christmas film ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ DP Larry Smith on the New Criterion Transfer, Filming the Orgy, and Nicole Kidman’s Commitment to More Takes How Stanley Kubrick’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ Predicted the Jeffrey Epstein Saga Roger Avary: Warner Bros Changed Kubrick's Original Ending of ‘Eyes Wide Shut' Gen Z are obsessed with Eyes Wide Shut – and it’s got a lot to do with Jeffrey Epstein Establishing the connection between Eyes Wide Shut and Epstein/Weinstein (REDDIT) Larry Celona Jeffrey Epstein timeline: How the Palm Beach County case led to 15 more years of sex abuse Steve Martin Discusses Being Pitched ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ By Stanley Kubrick Kubrick Dreamed of Casting Bill Murray, Woody Allen for ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ Before Tom Cruise Cinema: All Eyes On Them Scholars Discover Alternate Ending to Schnitzler's Dream Story Research Was Key When It Came To Creating Eyes Wide Shut's Most Famous Scene Matt Lieb's Piece of Media LISTEN: Follow the Light by Dirty Loops, Cory WongSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're edging all the way to Episode 300, baby-- and we're not even CLOSE to finishing. On this one, we talk about introductory Simpsons episodes, chaperoning children, girlbossing too close to the sun, Breaking Bad (again), and more! We don't talk about 6 7 at all. Where did you even get that idea. Shut up.Please submit your entries (with timestamps) for the Best of 2025 Christmas Clip Show either on our socials, via email, or on the dedicated channel on our Patreon Discord, or else PissNog the Christmas Goblin is going to skip your house this year.Do you hate ads but love this show? Do you want an incredible deal on access to our entire 5 year backlog of video and ad-free episodes for TWO DOLLARS A MONTH? Then check out our Patreon and support the show at patreon.com/leightonnight! Kick us $5 a month and you even get a MINISODE every week, too. AND access to the fan discord, which is cool and fun. It's a steal. We literally shouldn't be doing this. Follow us on Twitter at @leightonnight and on Instagram/TikTok at @leighton_night. You can find Brian on Twitter/Instagram at @bwecht and Leighton at @buttchamps (Instagram). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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12.11.25 Hour 1 1:00- Do you think that Dan Quinn was overruled regarding the decision to NOT play Jayden Daniels? 22:25- We take your calls and further discuss whether or not someone besides DQ shut Jayden Daniels down.

Vikings shut out Washington and we lay out all of exciting College Football Bowl season action!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

JP Finlay and Mitch Tischler join you live from Minnesota with instant reaction to the Commanders' 31-0 loss to the Vikings. The guys debate what led to Washington's awful performance, why Jayden Daniels struggled in his return before leaving with another injury and if today's loss was rock bottom for the franchise. The episode concludes with Game Balls (there weren't many) and Goats and a recap of 100 chips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.