Living & Loving with Lauren Reed

Have you ever grown up struggling in a negative environment or household and told yourself you'd never live like them so you created—or have to tried to create a better life for yourself but every time you're around them you constantly feel triggered or like an imposter? It's like you have done so much work to create a better more positive life for yourself where you're either super balanced, financially stable, successful in your career or thriving in your marriage but when you go home to visit your family for the holidays or in general— you suddenly start noticing that you're acting like your old self again or like you used to when you lived there. You may start acting out like a teenager or resorting back to your old ways. You may notice you are getting more emotionally reactive, tense or angry and maybe you don't even feel like that successful, intelligent, confident person you've tried to create after all. In this episode, I dive into why this happens and how to become more aware and in control of our own sense of self and emotional state around them. By increasing our differentiation (this concept is explained in the episode), we will be able to have better relationships without becoming so emotionally reactive to loved ones who may trigger us. Sometimes we might not have to immediately cut off family members entirely... but instead find ways to protect our emotions and set healthy boundaries (unless of course it's completely necessary if they are extremely verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive). Either way— cutting someone off comes with emotional consequences that must be dealt with because if they aren't— they will lead to resentment, anger and pride issues down the road whether you decide to talk to that person ever again or not. This Holiday season I hope you can go home and find hope and healing instead of hopelessness and hostility. Happy Holidays! Disclaimer: This episode is inspired by the work of Murray Bowen who developed Bowen Intergenerational Therapy in 1985 and quoted from the book, Theory and Treatment Planning in Family Therapy by Diane Gehart

On this episode, I wanted to share my heart with you all as a reminder not to lose yourself chasing after and creating this idea of a distorted, unhealthy version of your reality based on social media/comparison instead of working to love and accept your actual reality now. If you aren't happy with your actual reality now and you continue to chase after the “potential” of what it could be—make sure you're not compromising your own values in the process. I challenge you to ask yourselves the questions— Who are you actually living for? Is it for yourself or others? Is it out of greed? Is it for an audience? If it's for an audience—will all of those people actually be there in the crowd rooting for you when you fail or are they just there to spectate? It's been a harsh reality I have had to face and I hope that my vulnerability and truth can help one of you if you've ever struggled with this. It doesn't matter who you are, how rich you are or how famous you are... if you struggle with anxiety, depression or wounds you have not yet healed they can catch up to you and you could end up “losing your soul” also. Tune into this episode to understand what I mean by that! Song: Lose My Soul by TobyMac ft. Kirk Franklin & Mandisa

In this episode, we are not talking about y = mx + b here. We are instead talking about “y” and how you can increase sexual intercourse in your own relationship (also disclaimer: I am not guaranteeing anything here). I will provide you guys with two sexual equations. The first equation may help increase sexual temptation and intercourse and the second equation focuses on the “silent killers” of what may easily decrease sexual intercourse. They are generic equations that I have come up based on knowledge, research and the Gottman love languages. Again, they may not be for everyone, so feel free to come up with your own with your partner if not. I also hit on the topic of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) which is very common and if you have been a victim of IPV or are experiencing it right now in your own relationship, this episode may be triggering so please REACH OUT for help. I hope you guys enjoy! Now... if you’re ready to dive in and find solutions to some of your own “problems” or equations in your sexual relationship...go ahead and tune in now!

In this episode, I wanted to shed some light on this idea that many of us still have about “fairytales” and happily ever afters when it comes to ourselves, finding a partner or in our own relationships. Many of us have grown up watching A Cinderella Story, Sleeping Beauty, or The Little Mermaid, where we may have adopted the belief that we need to find someone who who will save us when realistically we could actually save ourselves and turn out to be our own hero. Instead of striving for the happily ever after we can strive for a happily ever effort whether that’s in our relationships or with ourselves. If you’re ready to dive into this topic and hear more tune in now ♥️ Music: DriftMaster by Shane Ivers - https://www.silvermansound.com

If you are wondering whether or not you should commit to your partner or try and figure out if they are truly the one for you—this episode may be for you. The point of this episode is to strictly look deeper into yourself and your relationship if you have been feeling stuck lately. It is also to help you understand that every partner will come into the relationship with their own baggage but it’s about figuring out how to work on your own while also helping your partner lessen the load of theirs. The true question for you to explore here is whether or not you think your partner is truly worth the weight.

In this episode, we explore how our partner’s needs may look a little different but instead of focusing on communicating those needs to each other, sometimes we end up blaming it on a symptom instead...which in this case was zucchini boats. It is a personal but laughable story that will help you understand how one small event can easily get blown out of proportion. And let me just tell you, if someone ever tells you they broke up over zucchini boats...it probably wasn’t the zucchini boats. To understand what I mean...tune in now

This episode is about how to find ways to quarantine with love, positivity, and kindness either with your partner, spouse, or children. I provide tips and ideas to help you and your partner stay in tune with each other, spice things up, or even stay balanced. There are also some helpful tips for couples with children including a guided imagery meditation at the end which will help them establish their “safe/calm place” in their minds since nowhere may feel safe in the world right now. I am sending all my love and prayers to everyone during this time. I believe with quarantine comes creativity and I respect everyone out their who is using their platforms for the good right now.

On today’s episode of “Single and Getting Serious About the Mingle,” I’m going to be introducing you to 3 different women of different ages, generations, and stages of life to talk about what the dating life is currently like with specific topics including dating apps/websites they are on, what the rules are in their stage, struggles they have or have not overcome dating, setbacks that may contribute to them being single, influence/pressure from seeing others in their stage married, engaged, or with children, current expectations they have for their future partner or themselves, and any advice they can share for others! The point of this podcast is to have a better understanding of what the crazy dating life looks like while also keeping it real and fun! Disclaimer: this episode does have occasional profanity and vulgarity but it just gives you a taste of what some single women are really thinking out there! So if it’s not your cup of tea please don’t listen. By the way, if you’re interested in any of these beautiful women let me know hehe and no we do not sponsor Taco Bell so I’m not sure why we kept using that place as an example

This podcast is dedicated to all my people pleasers, caretakers, and empathetic souls. Taking care of others and pleasing everyone else constantly can get exhausting so who is actually taking care of you? If that is a hard question to answer, this may be the episode to listen to. Sure some of us may have partners, but what if they can’t be the ones to take care of our every single need? This podcast is all about diving into the importance of our own personal self-care this season.

In this episode, I wanted to focus on how different intimacy may look like to some especially in a marriage or relationship. Sometimes it’s not always about the “physical acts” of a relationship that make it intimate but instead it might be about connecting on a deeper, more emotional level or even showing them love through their own love language. Either way, I would like to challenge each of you to ask yourselves or your partner the question of...how can we truly be intimate with someone if we can’t communicate with them or be vulnerable and expressive with them?

Last week I asked you guys on Instagram how y’all spice things up in the relationship either in a cute, fun, or sexy way and the responses I got were hilarious and also pretty awesome! Tune in to hear what I got and see if it inspires you to pick one thing to do this week with your partner either from the list of responses given or with something you come up with yourself! Let’s spice things up people and I’m not talking about in the kitchen....(unless y’all are into that)

This episode is based off of one of my favorite blog posts I’ve written before about love being a choice and not a chore. When going out of your way to do fun, romantic, or cute things for your partner even a little bit becomes too much...we may have to ask ourselves are we doing enough in the relationship to keep the sparks going? It’s fun in the beginning to chase our partners...but why not keep chasing them? Listen to my take on this topic and find out what my challenge is for you guys.

What happens when your partner’s jokes actually start hurting you or offending you? It’s good to know how to differentiate between a fun, loving, humorous partner and an emotionally abusive or submissive partner who consistently attacks you. Are they innocent or just offensive? Find out in my new episode! Enjoy!

Whew this is a tough one! Have you ever been in a scenario when you didn’t approve of your friend’s partner or relationship? It’s a pretty tough situation to be in so find out my take on how to approach the situation for the sake of your friendship in this new episode. Sometimes we may just have to put our pride aside and be encouraging to build back up our friend’s self worth instead of consistently bashing their relationship. Also, I would love to hear y’all’s stories and approaches on similar situations or even feedback.

In this episode, it’s not really about what you think. I’m not talking about your ex...I’m talking about your PARTNER’S ex. I wanted to hit on this sticky subject because it’s something I wish I would have known growing up and something I think every girl should know. Why do we as women have to down one another instead of being respectful or uplifting? Changing this “girl code” about hating on your partner’s ex all starts with changing your perspective...unless of course they’re coming in between your relationship. We can save that one for a whole other podcast.

Behind every modern day love story is a couple “bumping” into each other or finding each other in person right? WRONG! Behind my love story...is something way more funny...slightly embarrassing but truly raw! To all my online, app, DM daters... this one is for you. It’s time to stop feeling ashamed or embarrassed by how you met your partner! I’ll gladly take the heat on this one...Enjoy!

On tonight’s episode, I’m really focusing on making people aware of how their negative mindset can harm their partners and self in their relationships. This is a little challenge and eye-opener for everyone to hopefully understand how to pinpoint when they are letting their stressors affect them so they can try and change their negative mindset around in hopes of not takinf it out on the people they care about.

This is a continued intro to my first episode which I cut off early last time. I’m discussing what you should do if you find yourself in an unhealthy cycle and more. I hope you guys enjoy and continue listening! There will definitely be more to come.

My first segment is a short little preview into my podcast and provides some insight into why I am so passionate about helping couples in the future. Since it’s my first one (don’t judge haha) I wanted to wait to hit the main points until later on. In later segments I will be going over topics like what a healthy relationship looks like, when to walk away, manipulation, how anxiety affects relationships, negative effects of cheating, how to spice up your relationship, being single, dating in our society today, and more.