Podcast appearances and mentions of Murray Bowen

What if the secret to raising happier children wasn't about perfect parenting techniques…but about the quality of the relationship between you and your parenting partner? Kate Mason is joined by author, family therapist, and family systems expert Dr. Jenny Brown for a return visit that builds beautifully on their first conversation. Jenny brings decades of clinical experience alongside her deeply personal journey of applying this work within her own marriage and family. Drawing on the groundbreaking family systems theory developed by psychiatrist Dr. Murray Bowen, she and Kate explore what really happens to relationships when children arrive and why understanding your own role in relationship patterns is the most empowering shift any parent can make. Whether you're feeling disconnected from your partner, frustrated by different parenting styles, or simply craving more connection in your family, this episode offers both the insight and the hope you've been looking for. Listen For2:45 How did Jenny's own family experience shape her decades of work with families?9:14 Why do couples stop truly connecting and become roommates managing kids' logistics?12:21 How should parenting partners listen to each other without fixing, advising, or comparing?21:22 What was the moment Jenny realised she was getting in the way of her husband's parenting?28:23 Where should disconnected parents start when they feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do? Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click Contact Dr Jenny Brown:Email | Website | Dr Jenny's Book "The Parenting Paradox" | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedInContact Kate:Email | Website | Kate's Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X 

In this episode of Being Human with Steve Cuss, host Steve Cuss and Clarissa Moll explore how family of origin shapes behavior, workplace dynamics, and faith. They discuss family roles, birth order, triangulation, and unspoken emotional rules, examining how these patterns follow us into adulthood. Steve shares personal reflections on suppressing emotions and struggling to grieve, while Clarissa draws from her experience as a widowed parent. Together, they offer practical guidance on identifying triggers, finding trusted support, and using boundaries to pursue healing and freedom in Christ. Episode Resources: Genograms in Practice Explainer (pdf) Pete Scazzero's Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Biography of Murray Bowen  Family Systems Theory's Eight Concepts Circle of Permitted Emotions More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll's The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll's website Read Clarissa Moll's substack Sign up for Steve's Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's really driving polarization in our churches—and how can leaders respond without getting pulled into the chaos? In this episode, Loren Richmond Jr. sits down with Jack Shatama to explore how family systems theory helps make sense of rising anxiety, division, and reactivity in both the church and society. Drawing on insights from sociology, leadership theory, and pastoral experience, Jack offers a framework for leading with clarity, conviction, and calm in an increasingly fragmented world. The conversation unpacks how chronic anxiety fuels polarization, why churches often get stuck in reactive patterns, and how leaders can cultivate a “non-anxious presence” that creates space for healthier relationships and deeper discipleship. Together they explore: How chronic anxiety leads to polarization in church and culture The difference between process and content—and why it matters Why conflict often becomes a “battle of wills” How identity has shifted from faith-based to politically driven Why setting boundaries is essential for healthy leadership The challenge of maintaining mission in anxious systems Jack Shitama is the Director of the Center for Vital Leadership, which serves the Peninsula-Delaware and Baltimore-Washington Conferences of The United Methodist Church (UMC). He is an ordained UMC minister and has served as pastor of churches in Port Deposit, MD and Chesapeake City, MD. Jack is the author of four books: Anxious Church, Anxious People, One New Habit, One Big Goal, If You Met My Family You'd Understand, Everyone Loves a Non-Anxious Presence. His website is the www.thenonanxiousleader.com. His podcast, The Non-Anxious Leader podcast is available on all platforms. Jack and his wife of 44 years, Jodi, have four children and seven grandchildren. Jack is an avid runner and has completed the Baltimore Marathon three times. He occasionally plays guitar and bass in the Jacob's Well Band, his church's worship band. He enjoys all kinds of sports, cooking, reading, traveling and, most of all, seeing people experience spiritual growth.   Mentioned Resources:

¿Alguna vez has sentido que tu única opción con alguien que te lastima es desaparecerlo de tu vida... o seguir aguantando?

In this episode of Being Human, host Steve Cuss and monthly guest Clarissa Moll from The Bulletin explore how family-of-origin dynamics shape individuals' relationships with themselves, others, and God. Drawing on family systems theory, they discuss how families function as interconnected systems where dysfunction is shared rather than isolated. They introduce the genogram as a tool for mapping generational patterns, values, and beliefs. Emphasizing curiosity and kindness over blame, they encourage listeners to examine inherited "family propaganda" and discern how it aligns—or conflicts—with their Christian faith. Episode Resources: Genograms in Practice Explainer (pdf) Pete Scazzero's Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Biography of Murray Bowen  Family Systems Theory's Eight Concepts Scripture referenced: Genesis 28 (ESV) Luke 24 (ESV) Exodus 20:5–6 (ESV) Jeremiah 31:29 (ESV) Genesis 25–27 (ESV) More From Clarissa Moll: Clarissa Moll's The Bulletin podcast Explore Clarissa Moll's website Read Clarissa Moll's substack Sign up for Steve's Newsletter & Podcast Reminders: Capable Life Newsletter Get the Communication Styles Guide: https://capablelife.com/pages/podcast Join Steve at an Upcoming Intensive:  Capable Life Intensives Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Murray Bowen and Michael Kerr wrote that when anxiety rises, relationship systems automatically find ways to "bind" the anxiety. This episode covers what that looks like and what you can do about it.Show Notes:⁠Anxiety Bound⁠ by Kelly Matthews-PlutaCheck out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach.Become a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

In this powerful episode of Master Your Marriage, Robert and Sharla dive into one of the most common yet destructive patterns in relationships: unbridled expression—the impulsive, unrestrained venting of every thought, feeling, or frustration without filters, compassion, or self-control.Drawing from Terry Real's framework of “Losing Strategies,” they explain why “just keeping it real” or dumping emotions (what Terry calls the “barf bag approach”) always backfires, creating distance instead of closeness. You'll hear how this shows up as criticism, name-calling, contempt, and more—and why it's so damaging.Robert and Sharla share personal stories from their own marriage and client experiences, including childhood patterns where one person's emotions dominated the home. They reference Dr. John Gottman's research showing contempt as the #1 predictor of divorce (often called “sulfuric acid” for relationships) and Dr. Murray Bowen's insight: “We all have an adult and an infant inside of us, but the infant doesn't have to run the show.”The episode explores the regressive brain under stress, the absence of empathy in these moments, and why focusing on self-awareness (not blaming your partner) is the path to real change.Key TakeawaysUnbridled expression is a losing strategy: Saying whatever you think/feel without restraint pressures your partner and erodes goodwill.Contempt (eye-rolling, sarcasm, superiority) is the most corrosive behavior in relationships and predicts divorce more than any other factor.Reactive impulses feel powerful in the moment but destroy connection—true intimacy requires boundaries and self-control.Relationships reveal our immaturities so we can heal them—shift focus from “fixing” your partner to owning your own reactivity.Journaling prompts included: Reflect on your patterns, analyze better responses, and plan ahead to interrupt old habits.Resources & Experts MentionedTerry Real (mentor and creator of Relational Life Therapy; Losing Strategies including unbridled self-expression)Dr. John Gottman (research on the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in relationships, with contempt as the top predictor of divorce)Dr. Murray Bowen (family systems theory; the adult vs. infant/regressive mind)Journaling Questions to Reflect On This WeekWhen I'm frustrated or not getting what I want, what strategies do I use? (When have I fallen into unbridled expression?)How might my words/behaviors hurt my spouse or the relationship?Where did I learn these patterns? (Who modeled this growing up?)What would my best self do instead in those triggering moments?What upcoming situations give me a chance to practice restraint—and what wisdom can I remember when I feel flooded?Call to ActionIf this episode resonated, be sure to subscribe, rate or comment. And share with someone else who needs this information.Get in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

Murray Bowen described open and closed relationship systems. This episode explains the differences and how it applies to leadership.Show Notes:An Open-and-Shut Case? by Rev. Jennifer LongCheck out The Non-Anxious Life, a FREE AI Family Systems Coach.Become a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Free Resource: The Benefits of Doing Family of Origin Work (Download Here):

Episode Description: Kick off 2026 by decluttering your mind and marriage! In this episode, we explore how cluttered beliefs create misery in relationships and share 14 destructive marriage myths backed by research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. Learn healthier alternatives to foster deeper connection, reduce resentment, and build a fulfilling partnership. Perfect for couples seeking healthy relationship tips, toxic belief deconstruction, and marriage advice grounded in science.Keywords: toxic marriage beliefs, declutter your marriage, healthy relationship tips 2026, Gottman marriage research, Bowen family systems theory, Schnarch intimacy advice, Harvard happiness study relationships.The 14 Destructive Beliefs & Healthier Alternatives"My spouse should make me happy / complete me." Faulty due to external locus of control leading to lower satisfaction (Australian Study). Alternative: "My spouse is a companion in my happiness—I am responsible for my own emotional well-being.""If they really loved me, they'd know what I need without me saying it." Mind-reading expectations cause conflict (Mind-Reading Study; ResearchGate PDF). Alternative: "Love includes clear, kind communication about my needs and feelings.""A happy marriage means we never fight or have conflict." Gottman's research shows 69% of issues are perpetual (Gottman Institute). Alternative: "Conflict is an opportunity to understand each other better and grow closer through repair.""My partner should change to fix our problems." Satisfaction driven by perceptions, not partner change (PNAS Study). Alternative: "I can only change myself. Leading by example often invites positive shifts in my partner.""Disparate sexual desires mean we're incompatible." Normal in all relationships per Schnarch's "sexual crucible" (Crucible Institute; Psychology Today). Alternative: "Differences in desire are normal and offer growth opportunities.""Keeping score of who does more is fair and necessary." Breeds resentment; generosity boosts satisfaction (

Child focus or the Family Projection Process is one of Murray Bowen's eight concepts of Family Systems Theory. Here are five research backed insights that can help you as a parent and/or a leader.Show Notes:Child Focus and the Family Unit: A Comparison of Families with Higher and Lower Child Symptomology by Phillip KleverFamily Projection Process — The Bowen Center for the Study of the FamilyBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Grandparenting can be a gift—or a point of tension—depending on how generational differences are navigated. In this episode, Jenny Brown speaks with two special guests, Selden Illick and her daughter-in-law Alison Illick, about the subtle and powerful dynamics between grandparents, parents, and children. Drawing on Bowen family systems theory, they explore how patterns of anxiety, closeness, and loyalty ripple through three generations, and what differentiation looks like as adult children step into parenthood while their parents become grandparents.Listeners will hear real stories of family life and discover how understanding family systems theory can help shift well-meaning interference into meaningful support, so that the presence of grandparents strengthens, rather than strains, the family system. Parents will gain practical insight into setting boundaries, preserving their authority, and fostering healthier connections with grandparents while reducing tension at home.Selden Dunbar Illick founded the Princeton Family Center in 1987 based on Murray Bowen's natural systems theory and is now Trustee Emerita of its educational branch. She has served on the Florida Family Research Network board and is active in the New England Study of Bowen Theory. Formerly in private practice in New Jersey and Florida (1983–2004), she now consults in Massachusetts, helping people apply Bowen theory to family, work, and social systems. A frequent presenter on the impact of unresolved childhood patterns, she recently contributed a chapter on emotional attachments and chronic illness in Death and Chronic Illness in the Family: Bowen Family Theory Perspectives.Alison Illick lives in New Haven, Connecticut with her husband, Christopher, and their four sons. A former New York City public school teacher with degrees from Columbia University, she later supported her husband's medical practice in various roles. In recent years, she has studied Bowen theory at the Princeton Family Center for Education and the Bowen Center in Washington, DC. Alison finds the framework a valuable way to understand family and work systems and focuses on managing herself within them—an interest first sparked in college and later encouraged by her mother-in-law, Selden.LinksSelden as a previous guest on our podcasthttps://parenthopeproject.com.au/podcasts/grandparenting-relationships/The Princeton Family Center, New Jerseyhttps://www.princetonfamilycenter.org/Selden speaking on relevant topicshttps://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=921333534908389Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/ LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/ Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/ Contact us: Contact@parentproject.com.au (02) 9904 5600

This episode explores Murray Bowen's prediction for when we will emerge from the current societal regression, as well as what that will look like.Bonus: a few examples of a self-differentiated leader right now.Show Notes:A Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael KerrSocietal Emotional Process — The Bowen Center for the Study of the FamilySocietal Anxiety/Regression - The Murray Bowen Archives ProjectBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Murray Bowen's concept of societal regression helps to understand the conflict and division we face in society today. This episode explains what that is and my takeaways on this.Show Notes:Reflections on Societal Regression by Stephanie FerreraA Perspective on a World on Fire: Societal Regression by Michael KerrBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

Ross Rosenberg and Jerry Weiss discuss codependency and its effects on identity and family dynamics. Jerry, a recovering codependent, shares how codependency impacted his self-esteem and happiness. They introduce Murray Bowen's family systems theory, highlighting how interconnected family behaviors influence individual identities and can perpetuate issues like codependency and narcissism across generations, illustrated by the concept of "family system Wi-Fi."The hosts also explore self-differentiation, the process of separating one's identity from family influences, which is often resisted in dysfunctional families. They use analogies like a thermostat and escape velocity to describe the challenges of breaking free from unhealthy dynamics. The episode touches on the cycle of hope experienced by codependents in relationships with narcissists, who often neglect their own needs for validation.As the conversation unfolds, they stress the importance of self-focus and the potential loss of relationships during the journey of self-love and recovery. Jerry provides resources for support, including coaching and free training on his website. The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to reflect on their experiences and the systemic nature of their relational patterns, promoting healing and self-discovery.ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)Support the showABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.Ross's pioneering contributions to codependency have provided sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developed a treatment program that permanently resolves the issue. Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops. His global impact is best illustrated by his YouTube channel, with 30 million views and 297,000 subscribers, and the sale of 190,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages. In 2013, Ross created The Self-Love Recovery Institute, a hub for his personal development, workshops, professional training, retreats, other programs, and services.Learn more at www.SelfLoveRecovery.com. Facebook.com/TheCodependencyCure) Instagram (@rossrosenberg_slri) Twitter (@RossRosenberg1) and now…TikTok! (@RossRosenberg1)

Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here's what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader.Show Notes:Interview with Michael Kerr 2007 from the Family Systems InstituteDr. Michael KerrBecome a Patron for as little as $5/month.Subscribe to my weekly ⁠Two for Tuesday⁠ email newsletter.

The final episode of 2024 builds on the discussion of family systems theory by highlighting one of Murray Bowen's key tenets: the impact of birth order on family dynamics. To gain deeper insight into this topic, Ryan and Steve bring on Dr. Donna Marino, a family business psychologist out of Chicago, to learn how birth order impacts personality and sibling dynamics in business. Dr. Donna shares her clinical and consulting experience to highlight key patterns and traits she observes in her practice of working with family business transitions. It's a must listen for anyone who is interested in working on their own family dynamic and/or works in a family business. In this episode, we explore: - How birth order influences personality traits - The nuance of birth order and gender - Navigating family business dynamics as a family and non-family member #donnamarino #murraybowen #familysystems #personality #naturevsnurture #familydynamics #birthorder #siblingposition

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk presents his deep dive into Bowenian Therapy. What exactly is differentiation and triangulation? How did Murray Bowen come up with his theory? How is used to help families function better?This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/KIRK to get 10% off your first month.Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/joinBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactWebsite: https://www.psychologyinseattle.comMerch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaMay 18, 2016The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

In part 3 of their series on team dynamics, Ryan and Steve continue to explore the family systems perspective on group behavior. This episode focuses on the concept of differentiation of self that was pioneered by Murray Bowen. Ryan and Steve lay out some core principles related to gaining more emotional freedom in your relationship as well as share approaches to increase your own levels of differentiation or individuation so that you can be more effective in working with people and teams. Key topics of this episode: - why systems have a drive to reinforce the status quo - the importance of being triggered and seduced by system dynamics - how feedback can help get you unstuck - reflection exercises to reduce your emotional reactions and be more intentional with your behaviors and work with people

In this episode, the tables are turned again as Vicki Wilkins, the Parent Hope Project Professional Programs Coordinator, interviews Dr. Jenny Brown. They discuss the topic of limit setting and responding to children's misbehaviour.Does the family systems approach recognise that parenting involves responding to children's misbehaviours?  This question seems to come up so much at parent events and in our parents' hope for professional training –  It speaks to parent uncertainty about what their leadership involves with so much conflicting advice out there.Guest Host-Vicki WilkinsVicki Wilkins is a mother of three primary age children, a Psychologist & one of the valued members of the Team at the Parent Hope Project.Interviewee & Regular Host of the Parent Hope Podcast- Dr Jenny BrownDr Jenny Brown has worked in child, couple, and family health since the 1980s, focusing on child and adolescent mental health and the crucial role of parental involvement in treatment. Throughout her career, Jenny has observed and researched how easily parents can lose confidence in their strengths and wisdom, often stepping aside to let experts address concerns about their children. Her extensive clinical and research work based on Bowen family systems led to a profound realisation: children do best when their parents and carers have self-awareness and clarity in their roles rather than just trying to fix their child.   Driven by this insight, Jenny developed the Parent Hope Project. The project reflects her commitment to empowering parents, enabling them to effectively nurture their children's mental health. This approach is grounded in her depth of understanding of family therapy, particularly Dr Murray Bowen's family systems theory.  Episode Links: https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Clarity-Caregivers-Supporters-Flourishing/dp/0648578542?ref_=ast_author_dp https://parenthopeproject.com.au/when-tantrums-are-also-disobedience/ Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletter Youtube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProject Facebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparents Instagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/ LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/ Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/ Contact us: Contact@parentproject.com.au (02) 9904 5600

Ryan and Steve start the Team Dynamics series by introducing concepts from Murray Bowen and family systems theory, namely understanding group behavior as an emotional process. The series is designed to deepen your knowledge of group dynamics to increase your self-awareness and social awareness so you can arrive at deeper and more meaningful change when working with teams. This episode covers: - The role of tension and anxiety in teams, groups, and families and how our response to anxiety creates behavior patterns, roles, and individual identities - The 5 signs and levels of unresolved tension in groups: Reactivity, Blame Orientation, Quick-Fix Mentality, Emotional/Physical Cut-off, Disengaged/Avoidant Leadership - How tension/anxiety can activity dysfunctional patterns in individuals and groups - Steps on how to bring great awareness to individuals and teams about their patterns of behavior

Today, Jen and special guest host Roberta Dombrowski tackle letters from “onlys”: folks who are the only woman, person of color, adoptee, etc. in their workplace. One writer is the only Black leader in their org navigating a disgruntled coworker who wants to take their job (and hands-off management to boot). Another is feeling frozen out by their former boss after a particularly personal-feeling layoff. Listen in as Jen and Roberta lend their coaching skills (and plenty of resources!) to help these listeners combat their “only loneliness.” Links:Join the Manager's Playbook this AugustSay hi to Roberta and check out more of her workRead the latest Gallup report on loneliness at workCheck out Self-Compassion by Kristin NeffHere are 70+ questions to make sure your next role meets your needsRead Heal to Lead by Kelly CampbellGot a work situation eating away at you? Send it to us! Submit your dilemma at PMLEshow.comCorrections:Internal Family Systems was developed by Richard Schwartz. Family systems theory was developed by Murray Bowen.

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional maturity, drawing on the theories of psychologists Murray Bowen and David Schnarch to explain how individuals can maintain their sense of self while fostering deep, meaningful connections with others. Tony offers actionable insights on embracing individuality, managing emotional reactivity, and the importance of self-soothing for achieving a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic. 00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Introductions and Announcements 01:20 Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Lisa and Mike's Story 04:27 The Dynamics of Disagreements: Analyzing Conflict Patterns 07:40 Embracing Discomfort for Growth: A Therapeutic Perspective 12:59 Understanding Differentiation: A Deep Dive into Emotional Maturity 18:52 From Bowen to Schnarch: Exploring Theories of Differentiation 22:20 Applying Differentiation: Real-Life Implications and Strategies 24:20 Breaking Familial Patterns and Emotional Systems 25:00 The Impact of Parental Emotions on Children 27:05 Exploring Schnarch's Concepts on Differentiation 28:19 Applying Differentiation in Relationships 32:24 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Self-Work 35:24 Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Individual Growth 39:47 Embracing Differentiation for a Fulfilling Relationship 43:22 Practical Takeaways for Personal and Relationship Growth To learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Available NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Please follow Tony's newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony's account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

So much of our experience is shaped by what gets passed down to us. Whether it's trauma, wisdom, or a signature hair color, traits and knowledge travel from generation to generation. On this episode of Being Human, Steve Cuss welcomes George Dobeler, the chaplain who first passed down the concept of family systems theory to Cuss. Doebler and Cuss talk about Doebler's learning from Murray Bowen, who founded the theory. They discuss the importance of understanding one's family system when it comes to diffusing anxiety. Doebler and Cuss provide real-life examples of systems theory helping people become less reactive and more in touch with God, themselves, and others.  Their conversation covers chaplaincy, trauma recovery, and how theology shapes our responses to anxiety. Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Bowen family systems theory George Doebler Murray Bowen Harry Stack Sullivan Edwin H. Friedman Genogram Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So much of our experience is shaped by what gets passed down to us. Whether it's trauma, wisdom, or a signature hair color, traits and knowledge travel from generation to generation. On this episode of Being Human, Steve Cuss welcomes George Dobeler, the chaplain who first passed down the concept of family systems theory to Cuss. Doebler and Cuss talk about Doebler's learning from Murray Bowen, who founded the theory. They discuss the importance of understanding one's family system when it comes to diffusing anxiety. Doebler and Cuss provide real-life examples of systems theory helping people become less reactive and more in touch with God, themselves, and others.  Their conversation covers chaplaincy, trauma recovery, and how theology shapes our responses to anxiety. Resources mentioned in this episode include:  Bowen family systems theory George Doebler Murray Bowen Harry Stack Sullivan Edwin H. Friedman Genogram Friedman's Fables by Edwin H. Friedman A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin H. Friedman “Being Human with Steve Cuss” is a production of Christianity Today Executive Produced by Erik Petrik and Mike Cosper Produced and Edited by Matt Stevens Associate Producers: McKenzie Hill, Raed Gilliam, and Abby Perry Theme song by Dan Phelps Original Music by Andy Gullahorn Mix Engineer: Kevin Morris Graphic Design: Amy Jones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Though we are wired for connection, we're also separate human beings.  How we navigate these two realities can make all the difference in the quality of our relationships and our lives.  Our relationships can be with the family we grew up in, our friendships, romantic relationships, partnerships, marriage and the families we create. In this newsletter, using Murray Bowen, MD's Family Systems Theory, I'll discuss:* The tension that exists in couples and families because of the need to be together, but also to be separate.* What being out of balance can look like in a “system.”* What this can look like for us individually.* How we can move towards more balance in our relationships.We don't need to be in a relationship to be impacted by these forces.  We all carry within us expectations of togetherness and separateness from the families we grew up in.  Our parents carried their own norms based on their families of origin. Through our repeated experiences, our neuronal pathways are reinforced. They can impact how comforting or threatening togetherness feels and how comforting or threatening separateness feels.To receive the newsletter (text and audio) in your mailbox each week,subscribe at: https://www.courtneysnydermd.com or on Substack:Medical Disclaimer:This newsletter is for educational purposes and not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment for either yourself or others, including but not limited to patients that you are treating (if you are a practitioner). Consult your own physician for any medical issues that you may be having. Get full access to Holistic Psychiatry at courtneysnydermd.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode, Nathan and Kathy discuss: What family systems are and how they operate Tools to reflect inward and examine your own operating system along with your family system The correlations between you and the generational systems you inherited The emotional attachments to success and money and the role those topics play in family systems Key Takeaways: Addressing what you and your family have inherited emotionally over generations and what you want to do about it often leads to wonderful discussions and a way to talk about what is most important to you all as a unit. Giving yourself time to think about what is important to you to speak for yourself in family conversations is the best way to gain confidence and feel like each family member is heard Curiosity is the biggest motivator in taking action and starting these conversations with your family. “Being yourself with people you are sensitive to, can be magic.”  —  Kathy Wiseman.    About Kathy Wiseman: Kathy Wiseman is the Founder of Working Systems Inc and Partner at Navigating Systems, the Brown Center for the Study of Family. Kathy's interest and expertise are in assisting family members, family executives, and legal and financial professionals in applying family systems theory to the challenges in their professional and personal lives. Her focus is on making available the groundbreaking research of Dr. Murray Bowen to the professionals who serve business families and organizations. She works with motivated leaders to think systems and increase their capacity to manage themselves in times of change. Connect with Kathy Wiseman:  LinkedIn: Kathy Wiseman | LinkedIn Website: Faculty — Navigating Systems DC  Connect with Nathan Mersereau:  Phone: 248-645-1520 Website: www.dayinacanoe.com Email: nathan.mersereau@planningalt.com Twitter: @NathanMersereau LinkedIn: Nathan Mersereau Address: 255 S Old Woodward, Suite 310 Birmingham, MI 48009

In this episode, based on the book "We Were the Mulvaneys" by Joyce Carol Oates, Gabrielle Crichlow takes us on a journey through Bowenian Family Therapy. Originally produced as a project for her Marriage and Family Counseling course during graduate school, Gabrielle showcases her talent by voicing all the characters in this episode.The episode delves into a fictional couple's therapy session between Michael and Corinne Mulvaney, with Gabrielle Crichlow taking on the role of the therapist. The session centers around Dr. Murray Bowen's family systems theory, which emphasizes the idea that individuals are part of a larger system, such as a family.Corinne expresses her unhappiness with Michael's behavior following their daughter, Mary Anne's, traumatic experience of being raped. She holds him responsible for the destruction of their family. Michael, on the other hand, becomes defensive and places blame on Mary Anne. As the therapist, Gabrielle tries to understand their perspectives and encourages them to consider the possibility of change.Towards the end of the session, Gabrielle explains Dr. Bowen's model, which includes these four concepts: marital conflict, dysfunction in one spouse, impairment of children, and emotional distance. Gabrielle emphasizes the importance of assessing the systems individuals are part of, rather than solely focusing on the individual themselves.This episode provides profound insights into the intricate dynamics of a troubled family. It highlights the significance of understanding family systems in therapy and emphasizes the potential for transformation within relationships.Please note that the therapy session depicted in this episode is somewhat taken out of context from the book.Original video created at http://goanimate.com/Purchase the book, "We Were the Mulvaneys," on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Were-Mu...Watch the project on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0v0s2_WvNro**********************************Follow A Step Ahead Tutoring Services:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/astep...Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aste...Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/ASATS2...YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@astepaheadtutoringservicesTik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@asats2013Eventbrite: https://astepaheadtutoringserv...Visit our website: https://www.astepaheadtutoring...Sign up for our tutoring email list: https://squareup.com/outreach/...Check out our entire "Hot Topics!" podcast: https://www.astepaheadtutoring...Support us:Cash App: https://cash.app/$ASATS2013 PayPal: https://paypal.me/ASATS2013Venmo: https://venmo.com/u/ASATS2013Zelle: success@astepaheadtutoringservices.comOriginal date recorded: May 15, 2013

Welcome back to the podcast!!!  We wanted to jump in and do a bonus podcast for you guys ahead of the release of Season #6 which will air in January, 2024. While it really is a topic near and dear to Jason's heart - it's also a PSA for ALL of us as we prepare to be with extended family over Thanksgiving and Christmas.  The holidays can be really challenging - no matter what - and then throw in Family Systems (see below) + recovery and it's a LOT.  The happy holidays can feel like the not so happy holidays. The back drop of this conversation we are having is rooted in Family Systems Theory by Murray Bowen.  Bottom line is in every family - there are unspoken agreements and roles within the family system.  For instance, you might be the clown of the family, the peace keeper, the hero… the list goes on and on.  When we merge family systems (by going to the in-laws for Thanksgiving, for instance) there will absolutely be an impact to the “system”. We cover five key points to ponder as you consider how Family Systems impacts your holiday experience: 1 - Name the role you played in your family of origin as well as who you are now relative to the earlier role you played. 2 - Acknowledge your wife's needs when navigating holiday interactions. 3 - When emotions are high, use discernment on what to share and say in front of extended family, AND honor yourself and your boundaries / limits. 4 - Front Loading conversations between him and her prior to the holiday gatherings. 5 - Daily Downloads, initiated by him, for the two of you every day you are with extended family. 6 - And Bonus:  for women - identifying anchors (activities you can do to keep yourself grounded) on the daily while with extended family. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us and we are excited to be with you for Season 6, starting January 5th, 2024.  Would love for you to join me and my team at the Spring Retreat.  Applications are LIVE to the wait list only THIS Friday, November 24th - you can join the wait list by clicking here. For more information on RL Academy, click here. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason's list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

What You'll Learn What is differentiation Why its helpful to learn how to differentiate Why both spouses need to do this work Referenced in this episode: In this podcast episode, Alana reflects on her graduate school experience and provides updates on their podcast. She discusses her initial exposure to Murray Bowen's model of Bowen theory as she delves into her own personal discoveries about differentiation in therapy. Alana shares how she struggled with maintaining her identity while emotionally connecting with others, highlighting the concept of differentiation. The episode emphasizes the importance of differentiation in healthy relationships by allowing individuals to preserve their identity while remaining emotionally connected to their partner. We learn that differentiation enhances emotional resilience, improves conflict resolution, and prevents emotional fusion/enmeshment. Alana emphasizes the importance of healthy boundaries and the ability to navigate the challenges of long-term relationships while dispelling misconceptions about detachment. Want to book a session with Choose Recovery Services? Go to www.chooserecoveryservices.com More from Choose Recovery Services Choose Healing - Betrayal Trauma Support for Women - This weekly support group is for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help to cope with the symptoms of trauma, and is free for the first 6 weeks. Healing Hearts - This 15-week couples course is a comprehensive program designed for early-recovery and healing couples to learn and experience valuable insights together. It focuses on partner betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues or addiction.  Help Her Heal for Men - Hali Roderick helps men learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Participants will receive weekly exercises and worksheets to help them gain the skills to begin healing a broken relationship.  ⁠Empowerment After Betrayal for Men⁠ - Hali Roderick leads a betrayal trauma support group for men who have been betrayed where they can gain tools and resources to recover from betrayal trauma in a healthy way while being surrounded by a supportive community. Choose 90 for Men - Support group for men who are ready to take the first step towards recovery from compulsive behavior, infidelity and/or betrayal. Participants will gain tools and an understanding to better manage emotions and assess behaviors. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Choose 180 for Men - This support group helps men gain emotional intelligence so they can better manage unwanted behaviors. Participants will connect with other men, better understand their emotions, work through shame, and build a deep respect for themselves.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Choose 360 for Men - Support group for men who have reached a sense of wholeness in their recovery and are looking to maintain their recovery through awareness, accountability, and camaraderie.

Tony explores the Dunning-Kruger effect—a cognitive bias where individuals misjudge their abilities—and its interplay with emotional immaturity and narcissism. Starting with a humorous take on a narcissist, an emotionally immature person, and a "nice guy" in a bar, Tony delves into the complex landscape of self-awareness and interpersonal dynamics. Through the lens of real-life workplace examples and the evocative "Man in a Hole" metaphor, the episode underscores the importance of recognizing personal boundaries and fostering empathy. Drawing inspiration from Murray Bowen's differentiation theory, listeners are encouraged to embrace their vulnerabilities and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and growth. This episode is a thought-provoking dive into human behaviors, relationships, and the power of genuine self-reflection. Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Si estás leyendo bien, es tu día de suerte porque vamos a darte herramientas geniales para que identifiques si te estas enamorando de la persona(s) adecuada(s) o no... O tal vez solo te estas ilusionando bien cañón. La teoría de Bowen (del fallecido psicoterapeuta Murray Bowen) o teoría de la diferenciación nos habla sobre el impacto de la familia en tus decisiones amorosas, sobre como podemos mimetizarnos con las personas que nos atraen, pero también podemos distanciarnos bastante de nuestros polos opuestos (contrario al dicho popular de "polos opuestos se atraen") No solo es un episodio que te ayudará a encontrar la pareja adecuada para tí, o tu vinculo si vives en poliamor, este episodio es interesante debido a que en distintos puntos te decimos qué esperar de personas que son dependientes, personas que no han definido aún su propio "yo" y por ende, no saben amar ni querer apropiadamente y también personas que viven una ilusión por meras expectativas que se hacen ellas mismas sobre sus relaciones Algo de lo que platicamos: - ¿Porqué nos preguntamos si estamos con la persona adecuada? - Bowen y la teoría de la diferenciación - El autoconocimiento como primer paso para amar correctamente - La familia y el peso en la elección de pareja - La independencia, la libertad y la autonomía de nuestro crush - Así nos dimos cuenta que lo nuestro no era solo amistad - Contrato para parejas, una guía rápida para encontrar el amor - Preguntas y respuestas a la comunidad deliciosa Practica con tu amante, crush, novie o amigue: Enlace al documento con el formulario del contrato para parejas No olvides también que nuestros episodios no siempre salen en video o en Youtube, puedes escuchar todo nuestro contenido gratis en cualquier plataforma de podcast Queride delicioser, es un honor que te quedes escuchando hasta el final este episodio que con mucho gusto creamos para ti, por favor haznos llegar tus preguntas y venga ese comentario en todas nuestras redes sociales para seguir creando y divulgando todo esto que nos hace humanes... Disfruta de nuestro contenido totalmente gratis y siguenos en nuestras redes, no olvides compartir el delicioso porque este proyecto lo haces tú, con tús anécdotas, tus experiencias y tus relatos... Https://www.instagram.com/eldeliciosomx/ https://twitter.com/eldeliciosomx https://www.facebook.com/eldeliciosopodcast Nuup Estudio: https://nuupestudio.com/ https://www.facebook.com/NuupEstudio https://www.instagram.com/nuupestudio/ Envía tus relatos y comentarios a nuestro correo: podcasteldelicioso@gmail.com #sexualidad --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/eldelicioso/message

Episode 50 : Family Therapy Part llDr. Raffa and Mr. D examine continue their series on Family Therapy this time outlining Dr. Murray Bowen's Family System Theory and analyzing the Dutton Family of Yellowstone.Welcome to Talk Therapy CBT | Conversation about Educating, Connecting, Helping Individuals to the World of Psychology.We would like to thanks our sponsor : Dr. Alba Raphaela, you can buy her book about : Breaking the Mirror : A Story & Guide on how to recognize and deal with a narcissist. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09HFRNWYC/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_3NW8EE01F8A6G4KGNW56This podcast is sponsored by (https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/) -  Inner Balance Psychology Center, Psychological Treatment and Evaluations for Children, Adolescents and AdultsAs solution-focused therapists, our goal is to help you uncover your true potential and lead a life that is worth celebrating. While we can't change difficult situations of the past, we can work together to better understand and resolve challenges in your life. By applying complementary therapy approaches and techniques, we will unearth long-standing behavior patterns or negative perceptions that may be holding you back from experiencing a more fulfilling and meaningful life.Follow Us on Social Media:Blog : (https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/blog/ )FAQs : ( https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/faqs/ )Facebook : (https://www.facebook.com/ibpcllc)Instagram : (https://www.Instagram.com/innerbalancepsychology) Check out our website for more information :  (https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/) or email Dr. Raffa : (dawnraffa@innerbalancepsychology.com)This podcast is hosted by  and produced by (https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/) Please consider subscribing and sharing this episode if you found it entertaining or informative. If you want to go the extra mile, you can leave us a rating or review which helps the show with rankings and algorithms on certain platforms. you can leave us a review on Podchaser or Apple Podcasts  Launch Your Podcast App Grab your phone and open up your Apple Podcast app – it's a purple icon with a radiating “i” on it. If you can't find it already installed on your phone, simply search for it in your app store. You can even just click here if you're on an Apple device.Locate the search bar and enter “Talk Therapy CBT” When the app is open, go down to the little magnifying glass icon in the bottom right corner to search. Type in “Talk Therapy CBT” When you see the album art for the cover, simply select it and you'll be taken to the podcast's homepage.Leave a Rating and a Review Once you're there, click on the stars for a rating (5 stars for top rating) and then scroll to the bottom, past someone else's review, and you'll see clickable text, “Write a Review.” Hit submit.  Make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so you get the latest episodes. Our Podcast Page : (https://www.innerbalancepsychology.com/ )( Subscribe with Apple Podcast )( Follow on Spotify )( Subscribe with Stitcher )( Subscribe on IHeartRadio )( Listen on other streaming platforms ) DISCLAIMEROpinions expressed are solely the hosts and guest(s) and do not represent or express the views or opinions of Inner Balance Psychology

[Rerun] Dr. Kirk presents his deep dive into Bowenian Therapy. What exactly is differentiation and triangulation? How did Murray Bowen come up with his theory? How is used to help families function better? May 18, 2016The full episode is available to patrons of the podcastBecome a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattleEmail: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contactMerch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattleCameo: https://www.cameo.com/kirkhondaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.hondaThe Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

This episode was previously recorded for the Healing Sols Podcast and has been refurbished here for your enjoyment. Natasha is joined by Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on this episode of Healing Sols Podcast. Dr. Finlayson-Fife was trained by the late Dr. David Schnarch so they discuss his methods and trainings, how he took what Murray Bowen taught with his Bowen theory and translated into the field of sexuality, and sex and anxiety. Natasha and Dr. Finlayson-Fife also discuss his 4 points of being well differentiated/balanced. For more on Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, you can visit her website:  https://www.finlayson-fife.com For more from Natasha, please visit: https://www.natashahelfer.com

** For a journal, video series or to join our Capable Life self paced learning journey, visit www.capablelife.me ** Murray Bowen, founder of Family Systems Theory developed 8 concepts to guide and explain how we think and act. Understanding and putting into practice these 8 concepts can really revolutionize your relationship with people and with anxiety. This episode is part 2 of 2 as we cover the last 4 of the 8 concepts. Hosted by Steve Cuss and Brendan Reed. (Listen to Part 1 here.) **This episode is a re run of one of our most downloaded episodes.** ***Apologies for episode 150 which was supposed to be this recording, but we mixed up the file, so we have deleted episode 150 and this episode is the correct file.*** Links referenced in both episodes: MLA Episode featuring Rich Villodas MLA Episode featuring Jim Herrington MLA Episode featuring Trisha Taylor Emotionally Healthy Leadership The Leader's Journey 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory book Generation to Generation

** For a journal, video series or to join our Capable Life self paced learning journey, visit www.capablelife.me ** Murray Bowen, founder of Family Systems Theory developed 8 concepts to guide and explain how we think and act. Understanding and putting into practice these 8 concepts can really revolutionize your relationship with people and with anxiety. This episode is part 2 of 2 as we cover the last 4 of the 8 concepts. Hosted by Steve Cuss and Brendan Reed. (Listen to Part 1 here.) **This episode is a re run of one of our most downloaded episodes.** ***Apologies for episode 150 which was supposed to be this recording, but we mixed up the file, so we have deleted episode 150 and this episode is the correct file.*** Links referenced in both episodes: MLA Episode featuring Rich Villodas MLA Episode featuring Jim Herrington MLA Episode featuring Trisha Taylor Emotionally Healthy Leadership The Leader's Journey 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory book Generation to Generation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of SoundNotes, Len Greski joins Dave to discuss leadership and emotional systems. Len is a Principal Consultant at LeadingAgile and he has a background in sociology. As Len explains, “The most difficult challenge in delivering great products is getting people to work together." During the interview, we explore emotional systems theory and how that can be applied within our organizations and teams to create sustainable change and deliver great products. The Bowen Family Systems Theory was developed by Dr. Murray Bowen. It is rooted in taking a systems view in studying families and the relationship patterns that develop between family members. Bowen's theory and the eight concepts that came out of it can also be applied to the workplace and the emotional systems we create and participate in day to day. The better you are able to understand these systems, the more able you will be to foster systems that lead to a positive outcome for your team, your organization, and your customer. Links from the Podcast Bowen Family Systems Theory: https://www.thebowencenter.org Johari Window: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman  https://amzn.to/3Cxc6dD Contacting Len Greski If you'd like to contact Len, you can reach him at: LeadingAgile: https://www.leadingagile.com/guides/len-greski/ LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/leonardgreski Twitter: https://twitter.com/lgreski GitHub: https://github.com/lgreski Email: Leonard.greski@leadingagile.com Contacting Dave Prior If you'd like to contact Dave, you can reach him at: LeadingAgile: https://www.leadingagile.com/guides/dave-prior/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrsungo Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrsungo Email: dave.prior@leadingagile.com If you have a question you'd like to submit for an upcoming podcast, please send them to Dave.

  Voices In My Head (The Rick Lee James Podcast) Episode 486: Bowen Family Systems Theory   Family Systems Theory The family systems theory is a theory introduced by Dr. Murray Bowen that suggests that individuals cannot be understood in isolation from one another, but rather as a part of their family, as the family is an emotional unit. Families are systems of interconnected and interdependent individuals, none of whom can be understood in isolation from the system. The family system According to Bowen, a family is a system in which each member had a role to play and rules to respect. Members of the system are expected to respond to each other in a certain way according to their role, which is determined by relationship agreements. Within the boundaries of the system, patterns develop as certain family member's behavior is caused by and causes other family member's behaviors in predictable ways. Maintaining the same pattern of behaviors within a system may lead to balance in the family system, but also to dysfunction. For example, if a husband is depressive and cannot pull himself together, the wife may need to take up more responsibilities to pick up the slack. The change in roles may maintain the stability in the relationship, but it may also push the family towards a different equilibrium. This new equilibrium may lead to dysfunction as the wife may not be able to maintain this overachieving role over a long period of time. There are eight interlocking concepts in Dr. Bowen's theory: Triangles: The smallest stable relationship system. Triangles usually have one side in conflict and two sides in harmony, contributing to the development of clinical problems. Differentiation of self: The variance in individuals in their susceptibility to depend on others for acceptance and approval. Nuclear family emotional system: The four relationship patterns that define where problems may develop in a family.     - Marital conflict     - Dysfunction in one spouse     - Impairment of one or more children     - Emotional distance Family projection process: The transmission of emotional problems from a parent to a child. Multigenerational transmission process: The transmission of small differences in the levels of differentiation between parents and their children.  Emotional cutoff: The act of reducing or cutting off emotional contact with family as a way managing unresolved emotional issues. Sibling position: The impact of sibling position on development and behavior. Societal emotional process: The emotional system governs behavior on a societal level, promoting both progressive and regressive periods in a society. More at: https://genopro.com/genogram/family-systems-theory/  ----more---- RICK LEE JAMES INFO Web Sites: https://www.rickleejames.com Get The Single: https://rickleejames.hearnow.com/halls   Shine A Light In The Darkness Get The Single: https://rickleejames.hearnow.com/shine-a-light-in-the-darkness Music Video: Rick Lee James Playlist on Spotify:   https://t.co/S7nCRl0xqa   Share

**To join Capable Life before the price increase, sign up for our free communications masterclass or buy a journal, visit www.stevecusswords.com   Murray Bowen, founder of Family Systems Theory developed 8 concepts to guide and explain how we think and act. Understanding and putting into practice these 8 concepts can really revolutionize your relationship with people and with anxiety. This episode is part 1 of 2 as we cover 4 of the 8 concepts. Hosted by Steve Cuss and Brendan Reed. Links referenced in both episodes: MLA Episode featuring Rich Villodas MLA Episode featuring Jim Herrington MLA Episode featuring Trisha Taylor Emotionally Healthy Leadership The Leader's Journey 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory book Generation to Generation   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Michael Kerr, who studied under Murray Bowen, identifies two levels of self-differentiation. Here's what they are and why they matter to the non-anxious leader. Show Notes: Interview with Michael Kerr 2007 from the Family Systems Institute Dr. Michael Kerr Family Systems 101 - A FREE 11-week course --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/jack-shitama/message

Episode 101 - The Beginning through to the End.In this episode, we discuss...How we came to learn about Bowen's Theory and eventually start this podcastThe early days of the OverFunctioning Leadership podcast (and our elephant mascot)The reasons we are ending the podcast and what the next steps areSpecial memories of different episodesMost intriguing episodesMost viewed episodeBrumbles (Brain Rumbles?) and ZAMRsBest guest Least favorite episodeHow we've grown during this podcastWhat we each bring to the podcastFavorite leadership quoteLove us? Or even just a like us? Find more [of Leadership] at...Our website ofleadership.comOn FacebookOn TwitterVia email at ofleadership@gmail.comAnd don't forget to subscribe to our podcast and leave a review!Our friends...Like the tunes? Check out JetlerCheck out Where Would You Like To Start by by Dr. David Freeman and Avrum Nadigel

Have you ever grown up struggling in a negative environment or household and told yourself you'd never live like them so you created—or have to tried to create a better life for yourself but every time you're around them you constantly feel triggered or like an imposter? It's like you have done so much work to create a better more positive life for yourself where you're either super balanced, financially stable, successful in your career or thriving in your marriage but when you go home to visit your family for the holidays or in general— you suddenly start noticing that you're acting like your old self again or like you used to when you lived there. You may start acting out like a teenager or resorting back to your old ways. You may notice you are getting more emotionally reactive, tense or angry and maybe you don't even feel like that successful, intelligent, confident person you've tried to create after all. In this episode, I dive into why this happens and how to become more aware and in control of our own sense of self and emotional state around them. By increasing our differentiation (this concept is explained in the episode), we will be able to have better relationships without becoming so emotionally reactive to loved ones who may trigger us. Sometimes we might not have to immediately cut off family members entirely... but instead find ways to protect our emotions and set healthy boundaries (unless of course it's completely necessary if they are extremely verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive). Either way— cutting someone off comes with emotional consequences that must be dealt with because if they aren't— they will lead to resentment, anger and pride issues down the road whether you decide to talk to that person ever again or not. This Holiday season I hope you can go home and find hope and healing instead of hopelessness and hostility. Happy Holidays! Disclaimer: This episode is inspired by the work of Murray Bowen who developed Bowen Intergenerational Therapy in 1985 and quoted from the book, Theory and Treatment Planning in Family Therapy by Diane Gehart

Do you ever find yourself caught up in emotions so fast that you feel like you can't think logically? Well, the good news is, you're human! For most of us, we formed much of our internal compass from our family, including both positive and negative traits. One of the keys to living a happier, more purpose-driven life is the ability to separate our feelings from our thoughts and then move toward things that truly matter to YOU! This process is called “differentiation.” Undifferentiated people struggle to separate feelings and thoughts. Still, they often have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from others as well, and they look to others to define how they think about situations that they find themselves in. So one of the most important things we can do as adults is self-differentiate, or learn, “to have different opinions and values than your family members but be able to stay emotionally connected to them. It means being able to calmly reflect on a conflicted interaction afterward, realizing your own role in it, and then choosing a different response for the future.” Tony references Karen Koenig's article “What is self-differentiation and why is it so important?” https://www.karenrkoenig.com/blog/what-is-self-differentiation-and-why-is-it-so-important and he also found information on Dr. Murray Bowen from The Family Systems website https://www.thefsi.com.au/ And Tony mentions two podcasts interviews where he was the guest, first was on Parenting in the Middle, by Kristen Goodman https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-in-the-middle/id1551041369?i=1000510695615 and The Jones Table hosted by Chelsea Jones https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jones-table/id1524546561?i=1000510124657 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You'll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you'll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

Do you ever find yourself caught up in emotions so fast that you feel like you can't think logically? Well, the good news is, you're human! For most of us, we formed much of our internal compass from our family, including both positive and negative traits. One of the keys to living a happier, more purpose-driven life is the ability to separate our feelings from our thoughts and then move toward things that truly matter to YOU! This process is called “differentiation.” Undifferentiated people struggle to separate feelings and thoughts. Still, they often have trouble separating their thoughts and feelings from others as well, and they look to others to define how they think about situations that they find themselves in. So one of the most important things we can do as adults is self-differentiate, or learn, “to have different opinions and values than your family members but be able to stay emotionally connected to them. It means being able to calmly reflect on a conflicted interaction afterward, realizing your own role in it, and then choosing a different response for the future.” Tony references Karen Koenig's article “What is self-differentiation and why is it so important?” https://www.karenrkoenig.com/blog/what-is-self-differentiation-and-why-is-it-so-important and he also found information on Dr. Murray Bowen from The Family Systems website https://www.thefsi.com.au/ And Tony mentions two podcasts interviews where he was the guest, first was on Parenting in the Middle, by Kristen Goodman https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/parenting-in-the-middle/id1551041369?i=1000510695615 and The Jones Table hosted by Chelsea Jones https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-jones-table/id1524546561?i=1000510124657 Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and follow The Virtual Couch on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/virtualcouch/ This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can't continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You'll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you'll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBoTony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ

After talking about each of the 8 core concepts of Bowen Family Systems Theory in previous episodes, we come back together in this episode to ask some final questions about the theory and its usefulness to us as leaders. We wonder about the relationship of the theory to our spirituality. What do we have to learn about faith from this theory? How can we approach our faith and the faith of others with curiosity and objectivity? We also look at common myths about BFST and answer common questions that people have about the theory. We hope that this series will lead you to investigate further and consider BFST as one of the theories that guide your leadership Subscribe | Rate & Review Summary: The relationship between BFST and faith Bowen's 9th concept - the supernatural Asking questions about our faith - objective and subjective Our own stories about our faith and BFST Addressing common myths about BFST: Bowen theory is uncaring and unrelational Triangles are bad I should get everyone in my life on board with BFST Systems theory is opposed to personal responsibility For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen's own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman Thank you for listening. If you enjoy listening to The Leader's Journey Podcast, the best way to support us is to take just a few seconds and leave a rating and/or comment over on iTunes or share it with your friends on Facebook … Thank you!

Leadership issues as close to home as sibling position and as big-picture as societal regression -- Bowen Family Systems Theory has it all. In the 4th episode in this series, we talk about how our birth order powerfully shapes our behavior as leaders as well as the behavior of those we lead. Then we explore how anxiety shows up in our society in ways that we all recognize from today's headlines and we consider what less-anxious leadership looks like in times of upheaval and uncertainty.  Summary: A theory about how humans actually function Even siblings grow up in a different family How sibling position shapes our behavior and functioning Sibling position in congregations and organizations How society functions like families do Anxiety in society's attempts at problem-solving Strategies for leaders For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen's own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

How did the role you played in your family shape who you became? How does it shape your leadership? How do the people in your organization express the role they learned in their families? We invite you to consider how your family helped you shape the self that you bring to your leadership as well as how these concepts show up in the organization that you lead.  This is the third in a series of conversations about Bowen Family System Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader's Journey.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the family projection process and the multigenerational transmission process. Summary: Are you flying by the seat of your pants? How testing a unifying theory can integrate your leadership The impact of a family's anxious focus Our roles shape our functioning and our leadership The magic of connecting across the generations A family diagram – a useful tool for families and organizations Resources The Leader's Journey page Jim's Facebook page Trisha's Facebook page Mike's Facebook page As a guide to doing your own family of origin work, we highly recommend the book Becoming a Healthier Pastor by Ronald Richardson. We also find value in A Family Genogram Workbook by Israel Galindo. For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen's own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

Can you see the triangles in your family and your organization? How do you manage yourself in them? What role does distancing and cutoff have in your relationships over time? Can you imagine a different way of showing up in these intense and anxious relationships?  This is the second in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader's Journey.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: triangles and cutoff. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level. Summary: Triangles – the basic molecule of human relationships Triangles, anxiety and leadership Taking a healthy position in common triangles Cutoff – managing anxiety with distance Cutoff in families and faith groups What if cutoff seems to be working for us? Imagining change as a path to change Resources For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen's own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman

What theories do you have about leadership? How do they guide the work you do? Whether we can articulate them or not, we all have assumptions about human behavior and how people change and what good leadership looks like. When we can make them explicit and test them in our experience, we are able to be more thoughtful and intentional about how we lead.  This is the first in a series of conversations about Bowen Family Systems Theory, a theory that has deeply influenced us and our book The Leader's Journey. You may have heard about triangling or about being a less anxious presence or about being defined and connected without knowing much about the deeper theory that underlies those popular ideas.  In this episode, we cover a lot of ground as we look at two of the eight concepts of Bowen theory: the nuclear family emotional system and differentiation of self. This sets us up to talk about the rest of the theory in future episodes and to make application to leadership at every level. Summary:  Systems thinking Anxiety and togetherness fusions Family relationship patterns Relationship patterns in congregations and organizations  The role of leadership and coaching The differentiation of self scale and levels of functioning Togetherness and autonomy Resources: For basic information about BFST, we recommend these resources:  The 8 Concepts of Bowen Theory by Roberta Gilbert Extraordinary Relationships by Roberta Gilbert https://thebowencenter.org/theory/ For a deep dive into Bowen theory in Bowen's own words, try Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen.  To expand your application of Bowen theory, consider: A Diary of Everyday Growing Up (podcast and blog) by Jenny Brown A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman