Past A Mania

Wrestlemania 5 is an incredibly strange paradox. It's simultaneously better than you think it'll be and worse than you think it'll be. There are high highs. There are low lows. There are creamy middles. Adam has a beer. Newbs doesn't have a beer. And Jesse ponders if it's actually opposite day.

There are few sure things in wrestling. I will always contend that no matter what a Royal Rumble match will always be surprising, exciting, and incredibly fun. So here's Royal Rumble 1989 to make a liar out of me. Jesse gets bummed out by Jake the Snake's life story. Newbs has Jesse Ventura flashbacks. And Adam *unintelligible Andre the Giant grumbling*

Time to go back... TO THE FUTURE! The far flung future of 1988. I'm sure all that 50s sci-fi was right and we're gonna have robot butlers and flying cars and-wait what? It seems that all we have are rest holds and 5 minute matches. WELCOME TO THE HULKAMANIA ERA BABY!

We've been asking for weeks and I really hope you have an answer to the question by now: You think you know me? It's the end of our Edge arc and the end of our journey through 2006. We're getting gas for the time machine as we embark on our next arc, which will take us back further than we've ever gone before. Jesse does.... something, Newbs does.... something, and Adam has had a busy week and got the episode up late and therefore has forgotten everything that happened to think up something witty.

The biggest party of the summer and the penultimate episode of our Edge arc! Join us as we watch a pretty better than average show and round third on our trip down 2006's memory lane. Adam hates thumb tacks, Jesse hates Brock Lesnar, and Newbs concocts a cuck theory.

And we back. And we back and we back and we back and we back. No, I'm not going to make the obvious wrestling joke here. SOMEONE already did that and whether or not he's on the next episode remains to be seen. Here we have Vengeance 2006, a show in which the WWE championship match is right in the middle and the main event features a bunch of male cheerleaders. Not hate on male cheerleaders, though. Every single one of them could rip me in half. Newbs gushes over wrestler chemistry, Adam appreciates geriatric storytelling, and Jesse makes the obvious "finally..." joke.

ECDub! ECDub! ECDub! What happens when you mix a rabid and kinda awful fan base, the looming awful relaunch of a brand, and their hero against the corporate machine? You get ECW One Night Stand 2006! The folks in the crowd say "fuck" a lot. But so do we so who the fuck am I to judge? Newbs rocks out, Jesse laments the Rey Mysterio title run, and Adam wrestles (heh) with the lasting legacy of ECW.

Then I get bumped from Backlash? I’m not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn’t done before me, hasn’t been done since. But I’m not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humour and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God… he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore.” Joey Styles the GOAT

We here at Past A Mania HQ love us a Royal Rumble. They’re fun, filled with surprising entrants and entertaining eliminations and spots. They never disappoint. Well, theoretically of course. In this episode Jesse rationalizes mediocrity, Adam finally realizes why people hate John Cena, and of course Newbs’ boy Shelton Benjamin’s momma.

FINALLY..... PAST A MANIA HAS COME BACK.... TO YOUR PODDDDDCAAAAST FEEEEED! It's nice to be back everybody with the first episode in our new Edge arc! New Year's Revolution 2006 sees the first ever Money in the Bank cash-in, an elimination chamber, three steps forward for women's wrestling, and 47 steps backwards for women's wrestling. Jesse reminisces on his fledgling days as a wrestling fan, Adam laments watching the penultimate match, and Newbs' boy Shelton Benjamin's mamma.

GIVE ME BACK MY SONS In this episode Adam Sierras. Newbs Hotels. Jesse Indias. Don't forget to throw us an Echo on iTunes, make sure to Lima, and Delta us on social media, and as always thanks for SHIELD

You may be asking "Hey Adam I thought the Daniel Bryan saga ended at WrestleMania 30? Certainly a one off match against Kane doesn't really warrant another episode." Well allow me to retort: In this episode Adam THE SHIELD VS EVOLUTION, Newbs THE SHIELD VS EVOLUTION, and Jesse THE SHIELD VS EVOLUTION!!

A masterpiece of a show that deserves no introduction. On this episode Adam does a Yes Chant, Newbs does a Yes Chant, and Jesse does a Yes Chant

It is the top heavy final stop on the road to WrestleMania 30. Come joins us as Adam points out Bad News Barrett predicting the future, Newbs calls out Adam’s weird typing flex, and Jesse marks out over the Shield vs the Wyatts. Well, honestly we all mark out over the Shield vs the Wyatts

Okay but seriously how in the hell does John Cena's body do what John Cena's body does? It doesn't make one lick of sense. This week we're bringing you Hell in a Cell 2013. A solid 6.5/10 show if I've ever seen one. Jesse continues to lament the existence of Randy Orton. Adam defends that the ending of this show is actually pretty good in a vacuum. And Newbs revels in the Saints losing a big game on a bad call.

Our journey to chronicle the rise of the GOAT, both figurative and literal, has begun. Summerslam 2013 is a weird show. Out of 7 matches only 3 are really worth a damn, but those three are worth all the damns. Adam goes back in time to relive when he first watched this show (and also where he was on 9/11?) Jesse unpacks some of his feelings about CM Punk. And Newbs helps us come to the realization that, up to this point, there’s one performer who has been on every single PPV we’ve watched. Join us for all of this and more as we begin the rise of Daniel Bryan. PS: Have you ever wondered how “Aunt Viv” can be used as an insult? Listen to this and find out.

Hohoho! Merry Christmas from all of us at Past A Mania! Here's our gift to you: the most ridiculous Christmas special that has ever graced our culture. It's the basis for the classic Christmas tune "Santa Got Run Over by Del Rio." Join us as we go through this hilarious episode of Raw and we wax poetic about how strangely important this special really is. It solidified Adam's love of wrestling in his early days of watching, and got Newbs back into it after years away. It's not exaggerating to say that Past A Mania would not exist without this episode of Raw. So cozy up by the fire, open your presents, and join us. Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year, and we will be back early next year to begin our Daniel Bryan arc with Summerslam 2013.

What was the best wrestling show of the year? Who were the best performers of the year? What was the match of the year? Who can win in a quiz down between Newbs and Jesse? Why am I asking you this you didn’t make the episode we did. Listen for the answers to all this and much much more, like a lot there’s a whole game of trivia which is basically just answers.

The pinnacle of sports entertainment. The end of an era. No not HHH vs Taker... well, that’s here but, not that one. There is no more competition, there are no more obstacles, there are no more true oposing forces. There are plenty of moments in wrestling history people say they stopped watching. One truly based on the appeal of wrestling itself could be said here. With no more variety of different companies and a heel turn to end all heel turns. And Cena isn’t even a wrestler yet. WrestleMania 17, no matter how you pronounce it, announced the end of the wars, and the dawning of a new wave yet to come as Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock reach their final few years at the top of the mountain.

Most shows from the Rumble to Mania get caught up in the build and fall to the inescapable hype of the Show of Shows. However No Way Out 2001 only barely lays down the ground work of what Mania X7 would become. Instead we get wild non-stop multiman matches, a tightly knit if not strangely ended world title match, and a beautifully painted 40 minute epic that is probably what ended up giving us the 2 man power trip. (Editor’s note: I like that match less now.) Get a good hard look at the last show before X7 because 90% of it has nothing to do with building up their biggest PPV of al time. Which is fine, cause it’s a damn good show on its own.

More Limp Bizkit jokes than you can violently shake a backwards red Yankees cap at. Yup, it's the WWF in 2001 when the pandas still could do unprotected head shots because they weren't endangered from not "doing it" enough yet. (Editor's note: Pandas are endangered because they refuse to have sex, you see.) The 2001 Royal Rumble where Rikishi was one of the biggest threats (Editor's note: he wasn't), Kane almost headlined Wrestlemania (Editor's note: We'll see him in the hardcore title match), and Trish was somehow once a skill-less (sigh) bimbo for Vince. Dear god. The WWF's victory lap over ECW and WCW has arrived.

Listen I know this episode is very late but I'm sick and being an adult is hard. Moving on, It's the end of an era! A very... very difficult era. It's probably a crime how disappointing Samoa Joe's TNA title reign was. Same goes for the next two years or so of TNA storylines. We are done with TNA, and it's time to get rollin on to our next arc. As bad as this arc was, there's always a silver lining. And there's only ONE WAY to find out what that is.

How to get heat 101: Talk about how great it is to be in this town. Criticize the younger generation but use a beloved national hero to get over. How to be a good podcast 101: Don't research if a wrestler is dead or not. RIP Matt Morgan. How to have a good championship run 101: Make it about everyone but your champion.

Sometimes you gotta make the hard choices in life. Like defeating a man who’s tried to destroy your life. Like taking back what’s rightfully yours. Like beating up a guy who has done absolutely nothing to you. Wait… Or seek the help of a man whose entire career is stepping over people to stop the madness of a man who’s spent his whole life helping others? Who has gone rogue against the younger generation? Wait… hold on… Hard Justice 2008. Where everything is made up and the swerves don’t matter. Bro.

All good things must come to a…. Bad end? Houston we do indeed have a problem. A BIG problem. No amount of Samoa Joe bleeding like a stuck pig can fix the inevitable. But they we Broken Booker and so much X Division you can see it from space! It’s Victory Road 2008!

Slammiversary 2008. A night to remember! Because everyone gets at least 3 video packages so they are NOT gonna let you forget…. EVER. History is made, revisited, and destroyed, like any true anniversary, so at least it lives up to its name! Weddings, betrayals, and flusterclucks oh my! Happy 6th birthday TNA.

How many percents chance do have at surviving the most dangerous tag team tournament? Probably about as much chance as the English language has against Scott Steiner! Don't be confused by what's happening and let nature run its course. That's the Sacrifice you have to make.

It's episode one of Past A Mania! What happens when the New Age Outlaws collide? Will X give it to us? Who put all these handcuffs on the cage and didn't explain the rules? Can Joe win the big one? Join us for the answers for these questions and more as we watch TNA Lockdown 2008 and begin the journey of Samoa Joe's TNA title reign.