The Rich and the Filthy

The world of our radio soap opera and the world of the actors playing the characters are intersecting in the most horrible way. Witness evil toenail clippers, a canine cop, a scriptwriting hell-beast and more!

Aaron confronts Dr. Morebury, Nurse Nacely and Angelique about the latter's supposed recovery and begins to get a good idea as to what has happened. Meanwhile, Blanda returns to her new home only to find Mother Forrest waiting for her in the dark. All this, and a promo for the allegedly hilarious sitcoms that may or may not be available on the Spoonatics network!

Rebephanie tries to make sense of the greatest shock of her life, as Aaron offers his skeptical view of the matter. Later, Aaron walks in on Morebury and Angelique quarreling. Meanwhile, Mother Forrest learns about Rufus's motive for wanting Blanda to live with him and his father. All this, and a promo for the exciting soap operas also available on the Spoonatics network, plus ads for Just Plain Nuts Cereal and Flatty pancakes!

Rebephanie's entire world is rocked to the core when Angelique stands up in her wheelchair and speaks. But this miracle is not what it seems ... and Rebephanie knows it. Meanwhile, Mother Forrest learns about Blanda's new digs. All this, plus mayhem in the street when our intrepid spokesman finds another dupe to sing the praises of new Ghost Spoon!

The whim of Dr. Morebury clashes with the will of Rebephanie and Aaron as the fate of Angelique hangs in the balance! Meanwhile, another unwitting actor finds herself trapped in our recording studio by the uncanny hell-beast. Send help!

The Forrest household is frantic when Rebephanie, convinced Angelique is showing signs of recovery, wants to rush the supposedly vegetable girl to the hospital. This distresses no one more than Angelique herself! All this, and a bonus promo for other exciting Spoonatics radio soap operas!

After a phone call from the insinuating Maximus, Rebephanie manages to push aside an unnamed fear from her mind; but the subject of her worry could be all too real! Then her immediate concern becomes Angelique when the supposedly vegetable young girl does something no vegetable should ever be able to do! Meanwhile, Milus pays a visit to the agency where he had adopted Rufus 19 years before and finds himself pitted against a most bizarre bureaucrat. All this, and a battle royale between Fantasy Horse and Realistic Horse!

Shorn takes a walk in the garden to forget his troubles and encounters the nasally nurse taking Angelique for a walk. The moment Shorn is alone with his "sister," she cries out for help. Dr. Morebury is furious with Angelique when he finds out; but Rebephanie doesn't believe her son's story. Meanwhile, Crinoline pays Rigid a visit in his office to tell him the good news about the annulment of her marriage; but she finds her erstwhile lover with a beautiful model named Pristine. All this, and an exciting promo for other soap operas on the Spoonatics network!

Rebephanie calls a very old acquaintance, Maximus Moroné, in order to find out more information on Blanda; but lunch with him only seems to stir up more trouble than she had before. Meanwhile, Milus and Rufus are shocked when Blanda shows up at their house. Your nerves, jangled from the shocking events in this episode, will be well and truly soothed by a splendid song interlude, provided by none other than Josh Spurling of That One Band.

Rebephanie and Aaron attempt to order Blanda out of the house, but are interrupted by the two crawling, starving figures of Milus and Rufus, who have been trapped in the mansion for days. This leads to Rufus asking Blanda a most fateful question about his parentage. All this, and a promo for other fabulous soap operas on the Spoonatics network, which may or may not exist! Plus: a post-credits hell-beast!

Let's return to the fun and frolics of podcasts past by revisiting seven of the best commercials from THE RICH AND THE FILTHY! From episode 22: A sentient scarecrow learns what "scary" truly means when he encounters our intrepid spokesman wielding his trusty Ghost Spoon! From episode 23: Two unwholesome brats and their unappealing mother learn about the wonders of new Ghost Spoon! From episode 24: A magical sprite with a less than magical name conjures up an attractive set of new Shelfy brand shelves! From episode 25: Fantasy Horse meets Tina, his weirdest fan yet! From episode 26: The cancer-throated Aunt Edna delivers a testimonial for new Ghost Spoon! From episode 27: Our intrepid announcer has an important message about Ghost Spoon and its many knock-offs! From episode 28: Fantasy Horse has a special message for little girls and boys and their gender-role-lovin' parents!

Rufus and Milus are trapped in the Forrest home. Their dire situation leads to Rufus to hallucinate and experience his Greek tragedy dream while awake—a dream that seems more and more likely to do with Blanda. Meanwhile, Crinoline again demands that Shorn sign the annulment papers, but things don't turn out the way she expects. All this, and a hysterical overreaction to the presence of a Ghost Spoon!

We invite the actor, singer and beautifully bow-tied Jerry Beasley to be our special guest star, but will he survive an encounter with his biggest anti-fan? Meanwhile, Pupi and Yawk learn more about the Master's strange portal, while discovering that the Master himself knows less about his own creation than he pretends. All this, and a soul-stirring sermon from our own Reverend Conman, who knows the true value of faith in the Holy Ghost Spoon!

THE RICH AND THE FILTHY has been preempted this week, so that we may bring you a very special radio play, SNOOTS McGEE: THEATER CRITIC! What happens when a pompous theater critic and amateur sleuth teams up with a lowly taxi cab driver to solve a murder too baffling for a dimwitted Irish cop? Find out in this special presentation! Snoots McGee: Theater Critic CAST OF CHARACTERS: SCOTT SAWYER as Snoots McGee STEPHEN SPURLING as Phlegm-bert KYRSTEN LYSTER as Officer Flanagan SUZIE Q. DAVIS as Mary Written by STEPHEN SPURLING Music by JOSH SPURLING

Pupi (sporting yet another new voice) and Yawk pay another visit to the mad Master, where Pupi makes a brazen request. Meanwhile, Morebury delivers devastating news to the nasally nurse. And Crinoline pays Rebephanie an unexpected visit. All this, and a special message about Ghost Spoon from one moron to other morons!

Angelique makes a momentous decision, but it may come too late to save Ted Woffelle's life. Rebephanie becomes suspicious of Dr. Morebury's motives; and Pupi is equally skeptical of the esteemed doctor's reason for removing Ted from his hospital bed. All this, and a special message of hope from our radio-vangelist, Reverend Conman, and fans of Ghost Spoon!

Rebephanie gets the shock of her life when Dr. Morebury proposes the nasally nurse caring for Angelique be replaced by Ted Woffelle! Plus: a Ghost Spoon jingle contest, judged by a Popeye rip-off, Dull Dullard and the unpronounceabley-named Ms. Smith!

Come with us as we try to locate a bit of happiness and contentment in the Forrest household. But don't be surprised if there's none to find! We may search in vain while in the room of Mother Forrest as her "friend" Blanda questions her motives for wanting to destroy the marriage of Aaron and Rebephanie. Then Milus and Rufus stop in for their own selfish reasons. We may find nothing but angst as we visit Angelique, the fake vegetable who suffers at the manipulative hands of Dr. Morebury, and who is forced to decide the fate of her one-time partner in fraud, Ted Woffelle. All this, and a stereotypical moron finds a new lease on breakfast when he discovers Ghost Spoon!

THE RICH AND THE FILTHY is back, dear listeners, and the events in this episode could affect you, yes you, personally! Parallel worlds are colliding, and your lives, yes YOUR lives, could be affected by what happens in our sordid little serial! You think this is mere fiction, mere melodrama, mere soap opera? Think again! Listen as though your lives depend on it (because they just may) as the intrepid Detectives Pupi and Yawk pay a visit to the bizarre and ridiculously wealthy mad genius known only as... The Master! And before your world is changed forever, be sure to buy your little boys and girls the new line of Fantasy Horse toys: cheap knock-offs of popular superheroes!

Mother Forrest and Blanda enter Angelique's bedroom as Aaron and Rebephanie are cleaning bedpans. Something Blanda says finally triggers Rebephanie's memory, and suddenly she knows where she has heard Blanda's voice before. Meanwhile, Dr. Morebury pays another visit to Angelique. And Rufus has a flashback to his mysterious dream. All this, and the lovely new Ghost Spoon theme song!

Crinoline drags Rigid to Uncle Milus's house, where Shorn is recuperating, hoping to persuade Shorn to sign the annulment papers. Meanwhile, Milus's newfound affection for his nephew Shorn annoys Rufus. All this, and Fantasy Horse introduces a new toy, exclusively for boys, made out of suet and dried fruit!

Detective Pupi's voice changes yet again, followed by incidents so weird that Yawk goes practically homicidal. Later, Aaron suspects some vexing vocal voodoo when Pupi and a cop named Donaldson arrive at the Forrest mansion to inquire about Shorn. All this, and a Ghost Spoon commercial with Blanda and Fantasy Ass!

Detective Pupi uncovers some fascinating new information about Ted Woffelle, but Yawk is more interested in his new womanish voice. Meanwhile, the ever-scheming Milus shows up to deliver some shocking news to Aaron and Rebephanie, while learning an amazing fact himself. All this, and an evil fortune teller learns about the supernatural powers of new Ghost Spoon!

Angelique's dream of living in the Forrest home as a member of the family has become a nightmare, thanks to the mad Dr. Morebury and his nasally minion. Meanwhile, Rebephanie is in shock when Morebury informs her that Angelique will recover. All this, and Fantasy Horse finds himself locked in an ideological battle with a rigidly PC schoolteacher!

Rufus is irritated to find his father dancing with malicious glee over his newest scheme with Mother Forrest. Suddenly, the long-missing Shorn shows up at the house, nearly frozen from the 60-degree cold. All this, and Fantasy Horse dresses as Santa Claus to charm an uncharmable would-be customer.

The Rich and the Filthy is on hiatus until December 14. Until then, enjoy this sequel to Outtakes Uno, providing even further evidence of our complete incompetence.

Rebephanie is overjoyed when a delivery man brings her vegetable daughter, Angelique, home from the hospital. But Mother Forrest has a nasty surprise for her and Aaron—a nasty surprise in the shape of that manipulative minx, Blanda Hogan, who also figures in our latest Ghost Spoon commercial. And Ghost Spoon has added something new! Introducing new Ghost Breath, a packet of cooling breath that supernaturally cools your soup!

Detectives Yawk and Pupi question Homey Homestead, who is still clinging to life; but Yawk finds it hard to focus on Homey when Pupi has clearly undergone an important change. Meanwhile, a half-paralyzed Angelique crawls through the hospital corridor, trying to escape, and meets a half-poisoned Ted Woffelle crawling from the other direction.

Dr. Morebury browbeats his head nurse into taking on a new and sinister job. Aaron is appalled when Rebephanie wants to move Angelique into their home. All this, and Fantasy Horse joins ToyCon!

Rufus apologizes to Blanda for his inability to perform when they were in bed together. Later, his anxieties provoke his sleeping brain into a strange Sophoclean dream. Meanwhile, Milus is thrilled when Mother Forrest announces that she has a new scheme up her sleeve. All this, and a special herpes-infected listener sends in a testimonial for new Ghost Spoon!

Shorn's family throws him a birthday party, with Mother Forrest and Dr. Blake as guests; but the party ends in disaster when Shorn opens his grandmother's present. Crinoline receives a voice mail from Rebephanie, demanding that she stay in her marriage. All this, and a mildly powerful wizard learns to love new Ghost Spoon!

Dr. Morebury gives Detective Yawk the news that Angelique may recover from her vegetative state. Blanda has an epiphany while lunching with Rufus. BONUS: A clip from a competing podcast, "Tell a Silly Story!"

Rebephanie returns home prematurely from the hospital to find Shorn, in his Underdog-themed underwear, clashing with Rigid and Dr. Blake. Blanda and Milus quarrel over their scheme against Aaron, as a hungover Rufus interrupts with his unsubtle expressions of lust for his dad's old girlfriend. All this, and a special message from the gender-role-lovin' Fantasy Horse!

Angelique is shocked when she wakes up from a bad dream into a real-live nightmare, one orchestrated by the monomaniacal Dr. Morebury. Later, Yawk pays Angelique a visit, as an overprotective Morebury hovers nearby. Meanwhile, Aaron tells Rebephanie about Shorn's arrest. All this, and an important message from our sponsor, Ghost Spoon!

Shorn shocks Crinoline and Aaron by coming downstairs without his clothes. Rufus annoys Rebephanie at the hospital as Aaron arrives to deliver the news that Shorn seems to be losing his mind. Meanwhile, Shorn shows up at the office of Dr. Blake, still unclothed. All this, and a testimonial from a faithful listener and fan of our sponsor, Fantasy Horse!

Blanda and Milus find they both have reasons to destroy Aaron's marriage. Shorn pays an unwanted visit to Crinoline at her office and gives her the shock of her life. All this, and Fantasy Horse meets his most bizarre fan!

The Forrest family waits at the hospital for news about Rebephanie, when the arrival of Crinoline inspires a terrible realization in Shorn. Detective Pupi pays a visit to his injured partner, Yawk, and then surprises Dr. Morebury by visiting Angelique as well. All this, and a commercial from our new sponsor, Shelfy brand shelves!

Aaron races through the hospital to find Rebephanie, only to encounter Detective Pupi. In Rigid's office, he and Crinoline share passionate kisses, when they're interrupted by a shocking phone call from Shorn. All this, and two unwholesome brats and their unappealing mother learn about the wonders of new Ghost Spoon!

Dr. Morebury astonishes Angelique when he tells her he won't be calling the police. Aaron is shocked when Yawk calls to tell him Rebephanie has been found. All this, and a sentient scarecrow learns about the magic of new Ghost Spoon!

THE RICH AND THE FILTHY is on hiatus until September 7. Until then, please enjoy this collection of our most popular commercials! Visit again with Tommy "Ersatz" Wiseau, Clowny the Clowny Clown, Tina the Girl-Freak, Hillbilly White Trash and more as they peddle Fantasy Horse toys and Ghost Spoon!

THE RICH AND THE FILTHY will be on hiatus until Sept 7. Until then, please enjoy this evidence of our incompetence!

In the aftermath of all the excitement and terror, Rebephanie, Ted and Fake Angelique are all taken to the hospital; and Det. Yawk examines the situation for ways to entrap the Forrests. At the hospital, Fake Angelique falls under the scrutiny of the sharp-eyed Dr. Morebury. Meanwhile, Blanda makes a quick exit after her boring evening of passion with Milus, as Rufus eavesdrops. All this, and Fantasy Horse meets his first boy fan!

Ted distracts Homey while Fake Angelique attempts to steal his gun. When a gunshot goes off, Rebephanie and Yawk, who are tied up in another room, are terrified and furious, respectively. Meanwhile, Crinoline finally gets the truth from Rigid. THE RICH AND THE FILTHY has a new sponsor: Just Plain Nuts!—the cereal that is all nuts and no cereal. Listen to Wacky and Kooky hawk this incredible new breakfast food! And don't forget, we're also sponsored by Ghost Spoon and Fantasy Horse toys! Three great products, all sponsoring one great podcast!

To Ted's great shock, Rebephanie returns from the seeming dead to confront him at the remote country house; but Homey Homestead is not about to let his blackmail scheme come undone. Meanwhile, Aaron confronts Milus about his supposed relationship with Blanda. Plus: Clowny the Clowny Clown pays a visit to the Ghost Spoon spokesman and attempts to take over the show.

Blanda shows up at the doorstep of Aaron's brother, Milus, acting as if no time has passed since she last saw him. Milus's son, Rufus, meets her and falls instantly in love. Meanwhile, Yawk is shocked when Dr. Morebury informs her that Rebephanie has left the hospital. All this, and Ghost Spoon! Our intrepid spokesman whips up a non-mob to a non-frenzy and later has an unsettling conversation with a bizarre little girl.

On their ride home, Aaron and Shorn discuss the bizarre situation at the secret country house, when Blanda suddenly shows up in the car. Meanwhile, Yawk starts to put two and two together, regarding the Rebephanie Forrest case. All this, and Fantasy Horse, with his brand new friend, Fantasy Ass! Eavesdrop as they pay a visit to their archenemy, Hillbilly White Trash!

Homey Homestead and Ted Woffelle have a shocking revelation for Aaron and Shorn. Meanwhile, Detective Yawk and Dr. Morebury attempt to solve the mystery of their new patient, who, unknown to them, is Rebephanie Forrest. All this, and Fantasy Horse (plus Fantasy Horse's new best friend)!

Aaron and Shorn investigate the mysterious country house, as an oblivious Homey, Ted and Angelique argue inside. Meanwhile, Detective Yawk, by a fantastic coincidence, finds Rebephanie wandering along the highway. But will a dazed and disoriented Rebephanie be able to tell Yawk who she is? All this, and three stupid boys learn about the magic of new Ghost Spoon!

A new cop shows up at the costly Forrest mansion: Detective Yawk. She promises Aaron and Shorn that she will be more deferential to the rich than Detective Pupi, as she takes over the job of investigating Rebephanie's disappearance; but Aaron has cause to doubt her. Meanwhile, Crinoline warns Rigid that Shorn could become dangerous if they don't convince him that nothing is going on between them. All this, and Fantasy Horse revisits the girl who wanted nothing to do with him in the first place!

The intrepid Detective Pupi pays a visit to the secret country house owned by Rebephanie, and there he meets the obstreperous and obfuscating Homey Homestead, along with a young woman Homey claims is his granddaughter. Meanwhile, Crinoline confronts Rigid and ends up in a compromising position just as Shorn enters the room. All this, and Tommy Wiseau (or an unreasonable facsimile thereof) appears in our new commercial for Ghost Spoon!

Rebephanie is missing, and the intrepid Detective Pupi is on the case. Pupi immediately takes to the forlorn Shorn, but he finds himself deeply suspicious of Aaron, especially after Blanda makes an unexpected appearance at the house. We now have a new sponsor! It's Fantasy Horse, the new line of toys for indiscriminate little girls everywhere!