Two high quality gals (Grace Heller and Olivia Mangione) discussing low quality TV and anything else that comes to mind.
We're baaaaack bitches! Did you miss us? Cause we missed you. We are so sorry to leave you hanging on what has been a truly amazing season thus far. Please forgive us, it can be your wedding present to Liv. Since the last time we talked she became a wife??? What???? We are praying that will be true for Jenn soon as well, but with this group of guys.... It's not looking great. In an attempt to get ourselves back on track, please enjoy 1+ hour of us rambling about the season thus far. We do an overview of most of the major players arcs, talk about how great Jenn is, and go on a very reasonable number of tangents. We'll be covering the rest of the season like normal so please tune back in and we promise not to abandon you like that again! At least not any time soon....
Okay, here we are, only a week after we recorded the episode. Once we came down from the high that was this finale, it was hard to find the motivation to edit this episode. Apologies, but the wait is now over! Please tune in to hear us recap one of the best finales in the history of this franchise. We cannot say enough good things about the cast and how it all went down. This episode shocked us, made us laugh, made us cry (????), it was perfection. As Liv says, if the entire bachelor franchise ended after this episode, she would not necessarily be mad cause they'd be ending on a high note. Now we are excited for a much needed little recap break before the next season of the bachelorette!!!!!
We are famous WTA (and MTA) haters!!! And we LOVED this episode!!! Maria is a queen! These ladies are smart and accomplished! Lauren is an immediate icon! Everyone got mad at Lea for saying "gaslit" and it was so validating! And now we have 2 major questions. 1). What is the dramatic thing that happens at the end of Joey's season? And 2). Who on GOD'S GREEN EARTH is going to be the Bachelorette????
Guys we may have actually Mandela Effected ourselves. Both Liv and Grace have a distinct memory of a shot of Joey and Rachel making out in front of a waterfall being present in trailers for this season. However, when we went back, we cannot seem to find it??? We may be losing it, but thankfully we have our fantasy suite faithful guest Anders to hold us down.
In this week's episode Liv and Grace continue to express uneducated medical opinions, and you as the audience will learn that despite the fact that that Grace #believesscience she cannot bring herself to believe in supplements or anemia. On the subject of Joey, hometowns was a fun episode! Crazy stuff happened! Andy bet all the napkins!
Okay we're SORRY this is late. We actually recorded it at a very punctual time, but Grace was feeling unmotivated and did not get around to editing it until now. And if we're being honest she didn't give it her all. Hopefully she didn't miss any juicy secrets she was supposed to cut out.... You'll just have to listen and see.... Is this a new baiting tactic we're trying to get people to listen to the podcast...? Now that's one secret we'll never tell. xoxo
A succinct and efficient weekly recap for you all! Not sure what sped us along so quickly this week, it may have been the threat of danger coming from the yellowjacket in Grace's room. We remain delighted with this season, and thoroughly stumped as to who will be making it to hometowns! We cannot wait to watch LIVE and TOGETHER for the next episode and hope to have this coming week's recap out very soon. Thanks as always for listening. xoxo
Who has the time to dedicate themselves thoroughly to 4 hours of TV in one week??? Okay apparently the answer is us, but it was a challenge (and before you feel targeted remember that when we watch the bachelor it is WORK not PLEASURE). And while we can apparently dedicate ourselves to 4 hours of TV, we simply cannot dedicate 4 hours to podcasting. Therefore you are receiving a very condensed recap of the two episodes from this past week in one succinct, efficient podcast episode. You're welcome. Also apologies for quoting the "not me going to war" tiktok multiple times in this episode. That girl is our hero.
We need to start off this week with a very somber and serious apology to my good friend Autumn who we so egregiously misrepresented in the last episode. She prepared a statement for us to read on her behalf so tune in for that. Anyways we loved this episode! We love Joey! We love Jenn! We love Jesse Palmer! We love it all!
Please excuse us, we just need to slip into something more comfortable... Excellent. Now that we are both looking sexy and hot we can finally begin recording! Sorry for the delay in this episode, schedules are hectic and the grammys are on! This week we were excited to see Rachel emerge as a front runner as she deserves to be, Daisy and Joey make loving eye contact, and Maria be her genuine self which frankly we can't fault her for. We can't wait to keep watching as this season is really shaping up to be an amazing one!
Guys, we love Joey. We love him. It's no surprise that this episode boosted ratings for the first time in years because we are CHARMED. Charmed by him, charmed by Daisy, absolutely blown away by Lea, weirded out by Lauren, etc. This is already shaping up to be an amazing season of the bachelor and we cannot wait to keep watching Joey on his journey to find love. Which we hope he doesn't end up finding so he can be Grace's plus one to Liv's wedding...
It's the start of a new season and you know what that means! It's time for a special pre season episode with everyone's favorite non-bachelor watcher, Mason Lok! We answer such burning questions as, who is the meanest to waiters? Who definitely drives a Prius? And much, much more! (You know Liv wouldn't let us out of one of theses episodes without asking who is most likely to be a magical creature...) If you'd like to follow along with us, the ABC cast bios that we used to record this are linked here. If not, just sit back, relax, and try not to get irritated about Grace talking over everyone. She mostly stops about 20 minutes in. Yay Joey's season!!
Oh boy. Not going to lie to you guys, this episode has a weird energy. Mostly we are bummed at such a lame an unsatisfying end to what used to be the best part part of the franchise. Then Grace gets weirdly worked up and angry in the middle kind of about nothing? Then we transition to whining about it being boring, finishing off the episode by trying to bring the vibes back up for Joey. What can we say? This episode sucked and this season was poorly designed. That's not our fault, they didn't ask our opinion! Should they hire us? Well that's up to them, but the obvious answer is yes. Also regarding the extremely vague tease at the beginning of the episode, we just recorded a guest spot on an episode of the Bad Book Report podcast, talking about a book from within the Bachelor franchise. Still don't know when it's coming out, but at least we learned the name!
Two episodes in two days?? We spoil you! Just kidding. We just don't have our shit together. Please enjoy our thoughts on the final 3 episodes of this inaugural season of the Golden Bachelor. It seems like there is simply no way they won't be continuing this series, and we can't wait to keep watching. Our thoughts in this podcast episode are a little disjointed we'll admit. But if you want to hear us gush about the women of this season then you've come to the right place. We had the absolute best time watching this journey for love and we hope you did too!
Okay so it took us a while to record this. And then it took Grace even longer to edit and publish it. What do you want from us??? We are not machines! Sleep is an activity now! Anyways, we think all episode of the bachelor should actually just be one hour because this was a tasty little treat this week. Join us as we continue to ride the sinking ship that is this season of bachelor in paradise all the way to the ocean floor.
You guys, we were feeling a little narcissistic this episode so why not lean in for the episode description and tell you that we feel this was one of our best recaps of the season. We were on fire! Or maybe just delirious from hunger! Only you can be the judge! Please enjoy and try not to judge our (Grace's) inflated sense of self too much. xoxo
We're not going to lie to you guys. We're not doing well. Daylight Savings Time really hit us right in the seasonal depression and it shows. If you listen to this episode and you're like "dang this kind of sounds like a cry for help," that's because it is a little bit OKAY?? Also sorry for the weird echo-y noise this week, both of our mics were picking up a little of the other person and Grace tried her best to fix it, but again, the seasonal depression meant she only cared enough to try a certain amount. If you power through we promise everything will be better next week. Probably.
This show is giving us everything, pickleball, never have I ever, Joey, and MORE!!! While we did thoroughly enjoy practically every second of these episodes, we did have to watch Gerry unfortunately fall into every Bachelor's trap. The multiple "I'm in love with you's." Oops!! While this is still one of the best things on television currently, we were reminded a little bit that despite his handsomeness and how charming he is, Gerry is literally just a guy. Before you come for us, watch hometowns. That all being said we absolutely cannot wait to see how his story wraps up, so we will have one more episode covering the tell all, fantasy suites, and the finale once those are all out!
Has a recap podcast episode literally e v e r been this punctual??? (don't answer that). A good but mostly uneventful episode (Grace only had 2.5 pages of notes), but it set us up with great success for shit to hopefully hit the fan this coming week. We are dying for a rose ceremony over here, and even more we are dying for more Charity screen time!! Can't wait to see how it all pans out...
We have several questions for the Bachelor in Paradise producers this week: What did Sean do to piss you off so badly? What really happened to the cake? How on earth is Peter still here? Why is no one allowed to have a happy birthday? If anyone has any insight, please write in. Thank you so much.
You know what? It's kind of almost a good thing that we take almost a full week to record and release our recap episodes, because now you can listen to our recap this afternoon before watching this weeks episode and remember everything from last week! So essentially what we are doing is actually very good planning and helpful. Anyways, please enjoy another fight about Aaron B, Liv being indignant about Sam's treatment by production, and a Sean hate party.
Welcome to a special episode where we talk about the first 3 episodes of the Golden Bachelor!! If you are not interested in hearing us gush for an hour about how good it is, you should probably take your listening ears elsewhere. However, if you want to hear about one of the best things airing on TV right now, you should probably tune in.
Eat lots of fiber and drink water kids! That's what Nurse Mason has to say on this very educational episode about constipation. We did talk about other things as well, but frankly much more of the discussion was about constipation that we thought. Thanks for following along as we continue to recap this season of Bachelor in Paradise, and be sure to tune in later this week when we drop our first Golden Bachelor episode!
Look if there's one thing I'm not gonna do (this is Grace speaking), it's edit and post these episodes in a timely manner. I'M SORRY OKAY. I know it's very delayed but it is technically being released before the next week's episode airs (on the west coast). Please enjoy our recap of week 2, and best of luck opening your champagne bottles. Always remember, you could never be worse at it than Avan.
Bachelor in Paradise is back and so are we!!! Overall we started this season off not with a bang, but with more of a... I don't know, something pitiful. It wasn't the most exciting first episode, but Paradise never disappoints, and if the previews are anything to go off of, we are in for a killer season. We can't wait to see what happens, who else shows up on the beach, and how many more people Grace will fully have forgot existed!
We made it to the end of Charity's season!!! We love the way things all wrapped up, but we are sad to see her go. She will go down in history as a phenomenal bachelorette and with any luck she and Dotun will enter the actually married bachelor couple's hall of fame! We love Charity, we love Dotun, we love Joey, we love Jesse Palmer???? So much love for this episode, such a great season of TV, and we cannot WAIT for BIP and the next season of the Bachelor!!! Thanks for following along for another season. Rate, review, like, subscribe, or send us little kisses. xoxox
It's fantasy suites and you know what that means!!! Anders is back to give us his hottest takes on the final 3 men of this season. We spend probably a solid 50% of the episode on Xavier, another 20% on a very raunchy observation, and the final 30% on whatever else happened this episode. Please continue to tune in as we discuss the final episodes of this incredible, affirming, sexy, exciting season!
Rarely, if ever, have we seen so many home run hometowns in one episode. With the exception of bummer loser Uncle Joe, the family's this week were delightful, charming, and insanely good at saying all the right things. Consider us in love with all of them (just like Charity). Sorry the audio gets a little wonky towards the end, Liv's headphones died so we had to do some device shuffling. Please stick with us, it's not for very long and we have an exciting announcement at the end of the episode!
It's almost hometowns and we're in New Orleans and the drama is at a tasteful simmer. Nothing is boiling over just yet, but you can just tell it's about to. We had two lovely one on one dates this episode that had us blushing and kicking our feet (Joey if you don't ride off into the sunset with Charity, please give Grace a call), and two awkward group dates that accomplished nothing. This week we learned more about how much we love Joey and Dotun, we began to grow skeptical of Xavier, and frankly just felt bad for Tanner. Best of all, we got to learn who sexy #5 for this season was! You gotta listen to find out who it is though....
This was OUR hometown episode because it took place in Washington! Everyone kept talking about how cold it was and hiking - it was like every conversation we've ever had! This was a phenomenal episode of TV with not one, but two, incredible one-on-one dates, and just the right amount of drama. This season continues to be awesome, and if the previews for the coming weeks are to be believed, it's only going to get better from here.
For the first time ever, Grace was more right about who someone looked like than Liv! This will never happen again so savor this historic moment. Who is this mysterious someone? We're not going to tell you so we guess you'll just have to listen to the episode... This episode contained a Barbie themed date, so you KNOW we were invested! And of course we had to cover our Warwick conspiracy theories. Thanks as always for listening! xoxo
This season continues to be awesome. We actually loved the dodgeball game, and Charity seems to be having the absolute best time in the world being the Bachelorette, which is really fun to watch. But what on earth are we going to do with morally-his-heart-is-in-the-right-place-but-he's-an-absolute-buzzkill Adrian and culturally-insensitive-comically-large-earrings Brayden? Finally, before playing this episode we ask that you observe a moment of silence for Josh and his adorable face. Gone but not forgotten.
It's the start of a whole new season, and we even spiffed up our cover art in celebration! (Just kidding, Liv is just a perfectionist and addicted to drawing so this kind of thing happens from time to time). We are so excited to start following Charity's journey as the bachelorette! It already seems like she's going to be a killer lead, and this season seems to be full of interesting characters. Are we perhaps reentering another golden age of the bachelor franchise? Only time will tell, but as always, we'll be along for the ride!!
GIMH, OGM and MKKL are back to kick off Charity's season with one of our most fun episode styles - the question game!! (If you have questions about those initials you have no choice but to listen to at least the first 5 minutes of the episode) This time around we discussed which contestants are likely to think ketchup is spicy, who has possibly been to mar-a-lago (allegedly) (hypothetically) (for legal reasons this is a joke) (we always seem to have to make these disclaimers when Mason comes around), who frequently succumbs to instagram ads, and so much more. We are excited to see who ends up with Charity, who we have agreed is lovely and deserves the best. Join us next week to see if it seems like she's going to get it! Charity's season premiers on Monday, June 26th and we will be back with our regular season recaps and potentially new cover art! See you then! To follow along with our assessment of the men, check out ABC's cast bios: https://abc.com/shows/the-bachelorette/cast
We don't think that Jesse Palmer is ever allowed to describe things as "the most low energy and unexciting finale of all time," but if he was that would have been a good way to describe for this episode. Most of what we talked about was how we would have produced this episode differently and frankly better. Justice for Ariel and Gabi, and frankly also Kaity as well, because I don't think the audience has ever felt less excited for an engagement and seemingly successful relationship, and she deserves better as well. Anyways, stick around for our theory about Sean Lowe and also just to finish out this lackluster season with us! We made it through! Thanks as always for listening xoxox
We are over the moon to welcome back one of our absolute favorite guests, Anders, to discuss this weeks fantasy suite finasco (as Hannah Ann would put it). You are very much going to enjoy his witty and at times scathing takes on what went down this episode, and we probably also tossed in a couple of good insights too (no promises). Congrats to Zach for finding a new and original way to completely fuck up fantasy suites week. You have to hand it to him, he really pioneered a new way of making everyone mad at him, us included. Also, this isn't a trick to get you to stick around till the very end of the episode, but if you do listen all the way through, we do end up sharing probably our best series of "in an embarrassing turn of events" yet.
In terms of a hometowns week, this was in fact a very boring one. Full of (mostly) supportive feelings, and Zach having a good time. Not enough emotional turmoil for our tastes, and definitely not enough confessions of love. People! We are two weeks away from a proposal at this point! You have to say that you're falling in love!! (Looking at you Gabby....) Anyways, we hope you guys don't tune in for Women Tell All recaps, cause we can't promise one of those is coming, but we do discuss the new and exciting Bachelorette news!
Dear listeners, if anyone can tell us how the magician did the thing with the heart on the hand please let us know, we are very curious and convinced it may actually have been magic. Otherwise we mostly spent the episode talking about how we'd like to go to the Hungarian baths and Budapest does seem like a genuinely romantic place. It's hard to believe that hometowns week is already upon us, and it seems like Kat couldn't believe it either because she played this week INCORRECTLY with meeting the family on the horizon. Can't wait to visit everyone' families and meet Ariel's father who thinks the Bachelor is just one big orgy!!
Our most sincere apologies for a stupid long episode this week. We're not even sure how or why it happened, but some of it can be attributed to Liv's ridiculously good mood, and also the fact that we did like 10 minutes of material on not being detail oriented. This week we fought about whether or not Brooklyn has a slut shame-y attitude towards Kat. Please weigh in and let us know your thoughts. Things are getting down to the wire now and these girls keep throwing us curveballs and making us rethink our final rankings.
Huge disaster befalls the bachelor this week! Apparently they can't get away with traveling multiple different places in a giant group while unmasked and mingling with the public without at least one person testing positive for Covid!!! Who could have foreseen this?? Evidently not Zach because he is 10000% emotionally unequipped to handle this. Emotions run high for just about everyone this episode including us. We even got into a fight live on the air (not really, that's just clickbait to get you to listen). Cross your fingers for a swift recovery for Zach because if he has to go one more day without making progress towards finding his best friend we're genuinely concerned he's going to lose his mind.
The cast of the Bachelor has traveled to the Bahamas this week, and we would also like to go to there. Or skiing. Or basically anywhere that isn't moving or doing a two show day on a Saturday. This week we discussed whether Kat's date to snorkel with sculptures was scary (Grace) or cool (Liv), and get to engage in our first real Wrong Reasons™️ discourse of the season. Zach continues to frankly do a good job of being the bachelor, and we are having a very nice time watching this season. Can't wait to see what disasters lie in store for him in London though...
We hope you tuned into this podcast for a 20 minute breakdown of how similar or dissimilar Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie look, because if not you are out of luck. It does not help that Liv is uncommonly good at recognizing facial characteristics, while Grace is uncommonly bad at that. Please do not judge us for the fact that we genuinely called Zach genuine multiple times in this episode. we don't like it either. Join us to discuss the age old question of whether a museum or sky diving date brings you closer, and a very sexy pool party.
You know what team, we don't really know what to say here. We recorded this on Monday because of Grace's crazy schedule and we're publishing it on Thursday yet again because of Grace's crazy schedule. This week was not a winner for us personally #survivingnotthriving. Please enjoy this ep, at this point we can't even remember what we talked about. We're going to try harder next week lol.
Ahhhh hello everyone!! Welcome to the start of what seems to be a promising season of the bachelor! Zach is what we call going back to basics. In our opinion, they have tried to be too cool in years past (though we hate to call Peter Weber "cool"), they should just stick to what works - a guy who loves family, football, and frozen pizza (and has a strong attachment to gender roles and the idea of the institution of marriage). Night 1 set us up for what we hope will be a very strong season, though we didn't get to go into as much detail about somethings as we would have wanted. We had limited time because Liv needed to catch a ferry, and right after we recorded the intro we got a phone call from some friends with very exciting news... The spoiler for that is, if you listen to our podcast, you don't have to wait until the end of Zach's season to hear about an engagement. You can hear about one right now! Congratulations Nate and Claire!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Have we got a special treat for you fools (loyal listeners)! We are back and getting amped up for Zach's season the best way we know how - by playing the question game with guest Mason Lok! Together the three of us will go through the cast bios of the women for this upcoming season, and answer essential, need to know questions about them - such as, who do we think doesn't believe in the moon landing? It's been a while since any of us have recorded the podcast, but if you bear through the chaos of it all, you'll see we got to the heart of some really important matters (who we think was at January 6th) (allegedly) (hypothetically) (for legal reasons this is a joke). If you'd like to follow along with the bios we are discussing, you can find the ABC cast bios for this season here! If you enjoy the episode, please be sure to rate and review, like and subscribe, yada yada yada - but above all else, be sure to come back next week when it's time to start recapping the season!
You guys holy shit. Grace just decided for kicks to check how many episodes we had before she published this and it turns out this is our ONE HUNDREDTH FREAKING EPISODE?? Imagine if she'd checked after like 3 more episode lol. It feels so fitting for this milestone to fall on a Bachelor in Paradise finale episode. There's so much to cover and we wish the episode had honestly been 2 hours longer (don't tell ABC or Jesse Palmer that we said that), but we did our best to fit everything in. Thank god we didn't know at the time this was our 100th episode, we would have gone on for another 30 minutes. Did we mention it's our 100th episode yet? We did? Oops. THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ALONG FOR ONE HUNDRED FREAKING EPISODES.
Shoutout to Grace's dad for letting her use his phone to record this podcast, and we especially appreciate the restraint he showed in only coming silently into the room to indicate he wanted it back once. If he really wanted his phone back then he shouldn't have been such a loving and generous father during her childhood because now she thinks she can walk all over him (she did not give the phone back). We just want to be upfront and say this episode is primarily recap and less analysis. We ended up saying goodbye to most of our couples this episode and we needed to wrap up their storylines. We smiled all goofy like at lots of things Brandon and Serene said, and combusted in anger at much of what Aaron spewed out of his big mouth. Ultimately this episode was just setting us up for the big showdown finale episode and we have to say WE CANNOT WAIT.
We have possibly never had as many technical difficulties while recording an episode as we did during this one. Internet went out and disconnected our FaceTime call at least 900 times, so if some of our discussion seems disjointed that's why! It was especially frustrating that the internet decided to do this during our discussion of this episode specifically because this was an especially crazy one!! If there was ever any doubt about whether people are complex creatures, and life is made up of situations where it is impossible for just one person to be in the right, this episode is proof of those things. Perhaps that's too deep a read of Bachelor in Paradise, but we're doing it anyways! And for the record there is simply no way itching is low level pain. (This study linked is from 2013 so this in not new information AARON).
What is worse: being a human taco, human burrito, or human churro? If you're not sure what exactly that means, don't worry. We discuss it at great, great length in this episode of the podcast. It is one of very few issues where Liv and Grace are on very different sides of the argument. Other prime examples of issues where they are split are the attractiveness of 6th movie Ron Weasley, Mr. Tumnus, and how to go about cutting a lemon. Pretty much nothing good happened this episode, so if you enjoy our commentary when we hate things then you are in luck!
Honestly, it was nice to have a bit of a lull and only have one episode of BIP this week. Don't get us wrong, we love the content, but it can be a lot to keep up with! As is always the case, when we predict that we'll have a short episode cause there's not much to discuss, we end up with one of our longest episodes yet. Remember that there's not two of them so it's still worth tuning in! We discussed how much Kate hates Logan, Danielle and Michael's boring date, and of course the whole Eliza situation in depth. Please reply to us by tagging yourself as your favorite way Kate complained about Logan being poor this episode.
Welcome to our podcast about Grace's relationship with Liv's Grandma, our thoughts on prenups, and if we would spend $100,000 on a dog. Oh wait, did you come here to hear about Bachelor in Paradise? We're pretty sure we also talked about that... Just kidding, of course we talked about it! You're gonna hand us Hayden saying crazy stuff on a silver platter and not expect us to do a deep dive into that one? You're gonna have us watch not one, but two, absolutely wild Aaron and Genevive fights and not expect us to do a complete analysis of how the two of them communicate? There was A LOT to say on what happened this episode, though frankly, if next week's trailer is any indicator, it's only going to get crazier from here.