AFL Cellar Dwellers

We return after a year long absence from the hallowed halls of the AFL media commentariat. Sam receives an education on just how bad Carlton have been, and is shocked to discover that other teams are also still bad. More surprising; which teams are good now.

We say bye bye to the byes, and decide that this season is the drunkest season at the bar. Sam thinks Jacob Weitering is a ghost.

We showed up to play somewhere during the first half with this episode... but better late than never. A special episode feature a mid-season review for our bottom-four candidates, and also Sam's mic worked this time.

Live from Mantra Studios, Chris and Sam return for another week, only this time one of them failed to watch any football. The Cellar finally returns to a semblance of normalcy, and we look across the round and try to figure out what happened.

A special, face-to-face edition of the podcast, with a rambling coverage of all the worst of AFL this week. Includes our lessening fears of the Adelaide buzz saw, the special Shanghai trip for our special boys, and the demolition of Chris's Cats for the third week.

We review the latest humiliation for the Hawthorn Hawks, Sydney Swans, and an oh so close game for North Melbourne's Kangaroos, leaving all three winless to start the season. Sam reviews the food available at UNSW Oval in ... Canberra?

Another week of upsets in the cellar, with Hawthorn, Sydney, and North Melbourne all making unexpected appearances. We delve into the joys of their failure, and Sam speaks in raptures of his beloved Blues.

If Round 02 brought us two complete drubbings and one nail-biter, it also brought us beautiful moments of symmetry with the ladder perfectly balanced, and moments of gorgeous serendipity in Sydney's presence in the bottom four. Chris also tries to kick Sam off the pod.

We return from the podcasting equivalent of an ACL, with hot takes on Carlton, Fremantle, Gold Coast, Brisbane, and the triumphant conclusion to the AFLW.

Slumping back from the depths of winter, Sam and Chris try to muster the will and the courage to talk about the bottom four. It is ... difficult.

Yet another special face-to-face edition of the pod, whereby Sam and Chris talk to eachother in the same room. Wonders will never cease. Unlike our Cellar teams—Fremantle's, Essendon's, Brisbane's, and Richmond's seasons have all entered cardiac arrest. But whose is the most problematic? We look at the worst takes on Gary Ablett, and review the horrors of the Essendon club shop.

A special edition of the podcast, recorded in the same physical location (a deeply airconditioned room in Singapore). We have a look over which of the teams were the worst in the AFL last week, and discussion turns (as it must) to the Collingwood Football Club's shop. Sam is incensed about Shaun Hampson, Chris made a noise like a tiger.

We review Round 04, 2016 of the AFL, including Fremantle's inexorable slide into Western oblivion, Collingwood's and Essendon's continued mediocrity, and look at a dumb article on why a good rule is bad. Sam gets disastrously upset about Carlton things.

We review Round 03, 2016, and look at just how terrible Essendon, Brisbane, and Carlton were, while Fremantle gets off the hook for another week. We dive deep into $5 note design, and cast our eyes over the wares of the Brisbane Lions. Sam wonders when his beloved Blues will get a win.

AFL is back! And we are back. Again. Again! A very excited episode, in which we cover the stupidity of the drugs 'scandal', look at some surprising additions to the bottom four, and review a special set of merch from the Adelaide Crows.

We run through everything left from the NAB challenge, go in depth on a very special team, and finish off the What If Teams Were Comprised of the Thing Their Nickname is Bracket 2016. Very exciting.

We delve into all the news from Week 03 of the NAB Cup, including Essendon's offensive performance, Port Adelaide's Pokémon Day tribute, and continue to dredge deep and dank content from the 2016 Bracket

The Cellar continues to chart the best of the worst of AFL football with a review of the Carlton Blues and Essendon Bombers NAB cup clash. Our intrepid reporter was there to bring you all the lowlights. We continue to explore the What If Teams Were Comprised of the Thing Their Nickname Is 2016.

We emerge from the dank darkness of our Summer cellar retreat, with the freshest and hottest of takes on the latest AFL news. Or... not. We unveil a special preseason segment.

The Return of the Return of the Football Jesus. The bombing of the Essendon Bombers. The rise of the Saints. What’s that Melbourne doing? Where was Brion the Lion when Brisbane needed him most? Plus: + Decisive Indecision! + Rhodes Goalkicking Scholarship! + We called a psychic hotline and they told us where the bottom teams would end up. Not really. But we may as well have.

We review the limited games on offer this round, discuss the Rhodes scholarship, and present the best ever AFL club song.

In this episode, we once again cast our discerning eye over the bottom four, update you on the Rhodes Goal Kicking Scholarship, and look forward to round 11. We also question just what Charlie Dixon and Jack Martin were drinking, and take a brief look at the NEAFL.

In this episode, we run through the bottom four, including the inaugral Cheeky Shiraz-Merlot clash, diss on people who diss Adam Goodes, and we try to figure out exactly how Brad Scott hurt his back. Also, Chris and Sam both suffer from a rare case of the West Coast Mumbles.

This week, we run through everything to do with Mick Malthouse's tumultuous dismissal from the Carlton Football Club, as well as wrap up coverage from all the bottom-four teams. Sam practices his singing, and Chris nominates a new name for all your babies. Plus we look at Round 9, and what to make of the Bottom 10.

In this episode, we cover all the bottom four teams, looking at what went wrong for Gold Coast, Melbourne, and Carlton, and what went oh so right for Brisbane. Also, we look at players you might actually want to watch play, and have yet another go at Mick Malthouse.

In this episode we run through just how terrible Carlton and Brisbane are, look at the Gold Coast's drinking, and welcome a new member to the Cellar. Chris goes off the script for Mitch Clark and Sam ponders where Carlton should move to next.

In this episode, we tackle how coaches are going to drink water, finally get to talk about St Kilda, Chris gets depressed about Geelong, and Sam learns that Mick Malthouse can actually coach.

We review the Round 03 gutter clash of Geelong and Gold Coast, Sam gets incensed about the Brisbane Lions, while Chris learns how to use Facebook.

For Round 2, we go off the deep end on Carlton, and talk about what we should be doing in September. Chris loses $5, and Sam practices a tongue-twister.

In this season opener, we welcome the reutrn of the AFL, which Sam has managed to be overseas for, review St Kilda vs GWS, and introduce a new award for footballers to strive for.

In this inaugural episode, we review what we learned from the 2015 AFL pre-season, and look at what to expect from this year's race for the wooden spoon.