Friar Side Chats

"Love is patient, love is kind, love is..." We all know the classic wedding day reading from Saint Paul. But for many of us, that very first virtue eludes us most days: Patience. In a world that seems to push back against slowness, rest, love of enemy, and letting go of control, it's especially essential that we learn how to cultivate patience in our daily lives. Join us for the latest Friar Side Chats episode as we explore this underappreciated virtue! From the fruits of patience in our relationships, to reorienting ourselves to God's time, to Fr. Mike's own weakness in patience—it's an episode you won't want to miss. After all, we're recipients of Jesus' patience (and love) every day, even in our worst moments. Isn't it time for us to grow in patience (and love) for ourselves and others?

Friar Side Chats is back for a fresh season! In today's episode we’re challenged to take a look back at our own spiritual history: where our journey began, how we got to where we are today, and the role God has played in all of it. Between pivotal moments in our lives and people who have helped us along the way, God has been working in our lives every small step of the way. So join the Friar Side Chats crew as together we explore how to see God’s presence more clearly and why we need to know and own our personal spiritual story.

Here we are in the middle of an unprecedented summer. In Durham, we’re worshipping in a parking garage; at home, you’re wearing masks with family and friends; in our communities, we’re marching and advocating and learning. The good news amidst it all is the Good News: that Jesus came to live among us, that His love for us is abundant, and that He is with us no matter what we’re facing or how we’re feeling. But not just in some pie-in-the-sky, sending-good-vibes kind of way. In some very real, tangible, and creative ways—if we’re willing to look for them. So join us in this episode of Friar Side Chats as we dig into the complexity of returning to Mass, the difference between external practices and internal relationship, and so much more. (Plus a special segment devised by Fr. Mike to test your Catholic saint trivia!)

This week, we sat down to chat not about Tiger King or Zoom fatigue but about the unexpected blessings and spiritual takeaways from this time of quarantine. We invite you to join us for a Friar Side Chats episode that asks: What’s going to be the defining outcome of this time for you? What has been a surprise blessing of the past two months? What can you do when faced with anxiety about the future or frustration in your own home? Not to mention Fr. Mike’s attempt at spicing up the podcast with a game segment… (Yes, really. Complete with theme music and audience reactions...) Come for Fr. Mike’s creativity, but stay for the fresh ideas on a more spiritual outlook of this time.

When we look at people whose faith we admire, there’s often a common thread running through their lives: regular and intentional prayer. So what is it about prayer that makes it so powerful? How can we make it a bigger part of our lives? And importantly: why is it sometimes so hard?? With the DCC’s Lenten theme of Prayer in mind, we invite you to join us in this episode of Friar Side Chats as we dig into these questions and more. With these 40 days of Lent, it’s the perfect time to begin making prayer a part of your daily routine!

What happens when we find ourselves in a culture in need of change? Whether we're dealing with the messy issues of life on a team, in an org on campus, or within a community — what power do we have to move the needle? Join us as we sit down with Duke's Head Coach for Men's Lacrosse, John Danowski, to talk about shifting a culture, staying rooted in what's important, and an ethos we could all benefit from. Are you ready to become a force for change in your relationships on and off campus?

The age old problem of pain and suffering in the world isn’t new to any of us. But each time heartbreak or tragedy strikes us, our loved ones, or our community, we often find ourselves grappling all over again with finding meaning in the midst of suffering. And for many of us, the temptation is to settle into the “everything happens for a reason” narrative. But what are we really saying when we decide to place the reason for heartache on “God’s plan”? There has to be something deeper to hold on to, to trust in. Join us for a powerful conversation about empty platitudes, finding meaning in suffering, and truly embracing God’s grace in a sometimes broken reality.

We surrounded all the time by the idea that leadership is the pinnacle of personal, professional, and academic development. But, while we may be called to take the lead at times, are we be putting the cart before the horse if we’re not first striving to be solid followers? From habits and qualities we should strive to cultivate as followers, to the spiritual ramifications of being afraid of followership — join us as we explore the other side of the leadership coin. And get ready to ask yourself: Is there an upside to being a follower in a world that tells us that leadership is what really counts?

The witness of poverty found in St. Francis of Assisi begs the question: How do we embody a life of poverty in this modern age? Listen in with us as we wrestle with questions of resisting the idols of financial security, personal pride, and more. Get a look into what solidarity with the poor actually means. Also, encounter the mystery of sacrifice and freedom found in letting go and trusting Jesus.

How would you describe your prayer life? Is your answer along the lines of “I pray before bed”? In this episode of the Friar Side Chats, Fr. Mike questions whether this prayer practice is sufficient for building a relationship with our God who loves us and wants us to know Him. But don’t stress if that’s where you are. We are bringing the recommendations! From how timing of day matters, to different prayer methods, to our favorite apps for spurring on our daily prayer. As you begin to fall into your routine for the new semester, there’s no better episode to help you prepare to incorporate prayer in a meaningful way. Reimagine your prayer life with us and experience the impact on your daily life!

At a place like Duke where accomplishments and scores get you in and GPAs and theses carry you out, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the achievement-proves-worth cycle. And yet at the same time, God truly has brought each of us here to achieve incredible things with the gifts He’s given us! So how are we supposed to pursue excellence in a healthy way? Turns out the answer is simple but the practice is challenging. Are you up for asking yourself difficult questions and discovering where you might be placing your worth? If you are, join us for this week’s episode of Friar Side Chats, and get ready to ask yourself seven whys... And as a bonus, you’ll get to hear Fr. Mike’s one and only all-nighter experience!

Known as the patron of our difficult time, Saint Maximilian Kolbe is a modern witness of love and sacrifice in the face of great hatred and violence. With the recent mass shootings in mind, this episode dives into what it means to love radically in a world of violence. We'll explore the life of St. Maximilian Kolbe, a Franciscan friar who died in Auschwitz after sacrificing his life so that a fellow inmate could live. Declared a martyr of charity, a distinction from a martyr of faith, this saint is a modern testimony to the triumph of love over hate. Although most of us will not be martyred for our faith, St. Maximillian Kolbe demonstrates how through our love we can all live out a particular type of martyrdom.

Parents. They cooked hundreds of meals for us, drove us to countless competitions and practices, and helped us become the people we are today. Of course we’re grateful! And yet, at the same time, we can find ourselves frustrated when we feel they’re holding on too tightly or pushing us out of the nest too soon or simply not living up to our expectations. There’s no perfect path for navigating the ever-changing landscape of parent-child relationships — but there are some tips and strategies to help smooth out the process. With personal insights, scriptural encouragement, and a practical challenge for listeners, this episode will help you learn to love and relate to your parents in a fresh way! Definitely a must-listen for any young adult navigating their twenties!

This week on Friar Side Chats, Fr. Mike and Emma draw on the Gospel story of Mary and Martha and choosing the better part. It's a classic example of how our perspective and focus can completely shift our experience and relationship with Jesus. Who will you identify with in the story? Are you a Mary or a Martha? (Spoiler: Emma and Fr. Mike are Marthas…) Are you driven more to contemplation or to action? Join the Friar Side Chats crew as they explore ways we can cultivate a spiritual life that finds Christ in both the quiet time and the busyness of everyday life.

Whether we’re running our favorite trail, soaking up some rays on the beach, or even just walking to class — it’s hard to deny that being in nature captures something in us. After all, God went wild when he created our world and He designed it all to be appreciated and loved by humanity! Join Fr. Mike and Emma in this refreshing episode as they explore how they engage with God through nature and offer suggestions for how we, too, can hear God’s voice speaking to us through His creation. Maybe you’ll even be inspired to head outside after listening!

In the burning and collapse of the spire at the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris the world lost an important piece of history, an intricate work of art, a teacher for the people, a sacred place to pray, and so much more. Here at Duke, we're blessed to see and encounter beautiful buildings everyday — but what do they mean to us? Do we take the time to consider the greater purpose of places like the Duke Chapel and Notre Dame? This weekend, join Fr. Mike and Emma as they explore the transcendent nature of places like Notre Dame, awe-inspiring churches here in North America, and how we can better appreciate the sacred spaces in our everyday lives.

Why does stepping away from campus or just into the summer often find us falling away from our Mass and prayer commitment? Maybe we can move from pressing pause on our spiritual journey to seeing the summer months for what they really are: an opportunity to dig more deeply and shore ourselves up for the busy academic year ahead! With tips for forming new summer routines to help you along the way, join Fr. Mike and Emma as they explore how we can make the most of this time of “not school.”

Silence and stillness are so crucial for us as humans: for our growth, for self-discovery, and for our relationship with God. But why is it often so awkward and uncomfortable for us to sit with ourselves in silence — in prayer or otherwise? Is there a way to move past the frustration of feeling like you’re just hearing your own voice? YES. Yes, there really is. In this episode, Fr. Mike and Emma share their personal experiences with growing to appreciate silence and explore the ways in which cultivating silence is a marathon and not a sprint.

Focusing in on the Duke Catholic Center’s Lenten theme of Forgiveness, Fr. Mike and Emma dig into the three different aspects we most often struggle with: forgiving ourselves, forgiving others, and seeking forgiveness from Jesus. With great tips for finding and giving forgiveness without reservation, as well as top book and movie recommendations for exploring the theme more deeply — this episode will inspire you to better love those around you.

Duke alum and former walk-on quarterback Rob Collins joins Emma and Fr. Mike in a deep discussion on how faith can fit into the high-pressure careers that so many Duke students aspire to. Drawing on his personal experience as a Duke engineer and consultant at Deloitte, Rob shares how getting back to basics has been key for his career and his life. In a world where it can be all too easy to step back from our faith when we are so caught up in trying to achieve our dreams, Rob outlines how none of it matters without faith and personal relationship with Christ.

Christmastime. It always promises good food and relaxation and great family time. After we check the box for Christmas Mass of course... But is that really what it’s all about? In this episode, explore with us some of the ways we’ve domesticated the holiday and take away some fresh ideas for keeping Jesus at the center of it all - even amidst the hustle and bustle and messiness of the season. Are you ready to take a proactive approach to Christmas?

We've often heard that the Eucharist is at the heart of Catholic life, but sometimes the deeper details and explanations are left out or just assumed. Well, we've got you covered as we break down just why the Eucharist is so important and how it can change your life - if you let it. From the technicolor nose of bomb-sniffing dogs to Fr. Mike's thoughts on Fortnite, this episode brings the mystery of the Eucharist to an understandable, relatable level.

We've all seen the #selfcare and #selflove tags on social media, but how good are we *really* at loving and caring for ourselves? Are we even thinking about it through the best lens? Whether you're a bubble-bather like Emma or a chocoholic like Fr. Mike, we could all stand to think a little more deeply about self care!

Retreats come in all varieties, from forty days alone in the desert to a weekend outing to the beach to an afternoon set aside on campus. No matter the style you prefer--and they’re all great!--there’s no denying that retreats bring huge benefits for our spiritual lives. (Let's be real: if Jesus needed retreats, the we *definitely* do.) If you’ve ever wondered how to find the right fit, been curious about the purpose of and basis for retreats, or wanted to know how to make the most out of an upcoming retreat, we've got you covered.

It’s not easy to talk about, but it's important for us as Catholics to acknowledge the sexual assault crisis that the Church is facing right now. In this episode of Friar Side Chats, Emma and Father Mike welcome Father Tim Kulbicki, calling in from Rome, as he helps us break down what the Church is doing to respond to the issues within the clergy, how we got here in the first place, and how we can mold our response to the situation with a Franciscan spirit.

Reading Scripture can seem like a task of… well, Biblical proportions: where to start, what do I need to know beforehand, do I need to memorize stuff? In reality, it can be much more like a conversation with God - a way for Him to shed light on the truth of our faith and give advice on how to live and love day-to-day. In this Friar Side Chat, Emma and Fr. Mike share tips on getting started and explore the truth that scripture isn’t about how many passages you can memorize or how many books you’ve read, but about asking, “What is God saying to me through this?”

We all know how to set up plans for our classes, the extracurriculars that will get us into med/law/business/grad school, our fitness and health goals, etc. But do we apply that same strategic, goal-setting mindset to our spiritual life? What might happen if we did? Fr. Mike's CEO side comes out strong (and inspiring!) in this episode all about thinking strategically about spiritual goals.

Pope Francis recently released an awesome apostolic exhortation on the call to holiness. But it's not your average to-be-expected pep talk. Papa Francesco gives us incredible inspiration for how to strive for holiness in our modern, everyday lives. Let's dig in!

The World Cup has been dominating the news across the world, with what seems to be entire countries stopping everything to watch their national team play. What would happen if we approached our Catholic faith with the same kind of excitement and team spirit? (Bonus: You get to uncover Fr. Mike’s “recommendations” for improving the sport…)

We believe that each of us can take some concrete, simple steps to help build the Kingdom wherever we might be. So whether you’re in a summer internship, volunteering with DukeEngage, working a summer gig, or chugging along with your career, there are so many ways to maximize your experience and bring something special to your workplace. (Don’t sell yourself short: you can do this! We’re here to walk you through it.)

When we’re in the midst of travels big and small, do we take the time to appreciate the journey or are we fixated on getting to our destination? How can we better appreciate our travels (even the horror stories!) and allow for incredible encounters with Christ along the way?

Summer Sundays find many of us away from the familiarity of Duke Catholic Center Mass or our local parish. And of course we “know” the Mass is the same wherever we go, but what do we do when we find ourselves comparing Masses and missing the familiar scenes and faces? From bake sales for the little old ladies to the unique architecture of each church -- we dig into just how we can appreciate our Mass experience wherever we are!

Sitting down with senior Luke Duchemin, we dive into the mom factor: that unique selflessness and spirituality that our mothers and mother-figures in our lives offer us. What makes our moms such incredible witnesses of love and sacrifice? How can you be more like your own mother? And how can Mary, as the ultimate mother, help us grow closer to Jesus?

Lent is a time of sacrifice. Why, then, is the end of the Lenten season sometimes such a difficult time? For some of us, we might be struggling with some guilt over not fulfilling our Lenten promises. But nevertheless, Easter should be a time of celebration, joy, and singing “Alleluia!” So how can we move joyfully from a great/mediocre/failed Lent to the joy of the Easter season?

We’re all accustomed to the phrase: “to walk a mile in someone’s shoes.” Yet whose shoes are more important to walk in than the God of Creation, Jesus Christ? Join us as we dig into the powerful spiritual impact the Stations of the Cross can have on our lives. After all, we know that Jesus walks with us in the midst of the burdens of our lives, but it’s never more clear for us than when we actually take the time to walk with him as he carries his.

We're obviously a bit biased when it comes to college basketball. But it's undeniable that the Cameron Crazy experience (or the experience of any avid fan, really) offer some serious life and spiritual wisdom when you get down to it: from goal-setting and dreaming big, to appreciating the details and giving 100%.

“I’m just a college student!” "Well, I'm still paying off student loans..." "But my parents support me." We each have our excuses for why now isn't the ideal time for us to be generous with our resources - limited as they may be. Still, Almsgiving is one the three pillars of Lent and Jesus specifically calls us to care for those in greater need than us. Whether it is our time, treasure, or talent (or ideally all three!), it is essential we develop a habit of intentionally giving of ourselves to the marginalized.

Join us as we dig into Ash Wednesday and this Lenten season through the lens of our 2018 theme of Commitment. To what (or whom!) do we commit when we set out our Lenten penance? How can we recommit ourselves daily? And why is it so important that we set a Lenten penance anyway?

We all know that what we eat impacts our body, but what about the media we consume on a regular basis? Do we take steps to ensure that the music, movies, social media, and even news we're ingesting is going to nourish our lives? Don't worry if you're not there yet, we have some great tips for you. (And it doesn't just mean cutting everything out!)

Friendships are without a doubt a central part of our lives. But how intentional are we about the friends we keep closest, and what are some ways we can hold our friendships to a higher standard?

A look back into some of your most-loved episodes from this past year! Based on listener feedback, Fr. Mike and Emma dig a little deeper into some of the episodes and subjects that resonated most with Friar Side Chat subscribers.

Christmas doesn't have to be the same ol' deal every year; we can definitely kick things up a notch with the right perspective. Join us as Emma's mind (and hopefully yours!) is blown by some of the ancient Christmas insights of Fr. Mike's Franciscan brothers.

Cheating -- on tests, in relationships, and especially with ourselves -- tempts everyone. It’s one of the darker sides of college and life in general, which is why it’s so important that we examine the topic through a fresh lens. How do we become cheaters, and how can we keep from going there?

Happy Thanksgiving! You’re in for a treat, because Father Mike and Emma are joined by a special guest: Katie Cassedy, class of 2020, in the latest episode of Friar Side Chats! In episode #24, we get to take a fresh look at genuine gratitude during this time of year. Join us as we dive into the (sometimes) awkward Thanksgiving prayer moment, the ways we can constantly give thanks to the Lord year-round, and the... “exotic” dishes at Fr. Mike’s Thanksgiving table.

At a place like Duke, it can be difficult to acknowledge that we are imperfect beings. When we fail or screw up, talking about it can be a very uncomfortable experience. If we are ever going to grow into the person God made us, though, we can’t be ruled by fear of failure but by hope for a better future. How can we flip failure on its head?

Family Weekend is right around the corner at Duke, and students of all years are preparing for their dad’s groan-inducing jokes and their mother’s lectures on keeping a clean room. In other words, it’s the perfect opportunity to contemplate what our families mean to us, how we relate to our families now and over time, and how Jesus can help us improve our relationships.

St. Francis lived over 800 years ago. Yet his life continues to hold great wisdom in this modern time. This week, Fr. Mike and Emma chat about the powerful Franciscan messages we need in this time of division, the ways Francis has been misunderstood, and the reason he left such a lasting impact on the world -- both in his own time and in our own.

To celebrate being twenty episodes in, we wanted to treat our listeners to a Friar Side Chat with a special guest. Join us as we sit down to talk with Duke Football's Head Coach David Cutcliffe about faith on a college campus, its impact on his coaching, and how it can and should inform our own careers and identities.

Campus is bustling and full of energy again with the start of the new academic year. It's an awesome time of year, but we know that each new year at Duke brings its own unique thrills and challenges. We break down the common hurdles we see each year and offer practical tips for how you can make the most of this new year at Duke!

With a special guest from Duke Athletics, Fr. Mike and Emma sit down to chat about keeping healthy in body and faith. From Fr. Mike's flat feet to a very refreshing perspective on the ol' "body is a temple" adage, we cover it all. (But seriously, the new take on "body is a temple" was mind-blowing for me. Hopefully for you, too!)

As the scattered DCC staff is currently discovering, it's tough to feel like you don't have a proper home base. What can we do to better embrace that discomfort? And, how can we exercise the muscles that enable us to make a home wherever we might be?