Storied

This week on Storied, we adapt the cyclical story of Link and Zelda into a cyberpunk movie! You know, much like the wildly popular Blade Runner franchise... but hopefully more financially lucrative. Noir elements! Corrupt corporations! Body augmentation! Weird sex stuff! You know, all of the things that make Zelda Zelda!

This month we try and discern the mystery of the Three Seashells (it's just soap we think) while we take on an update to the classic cheesy action movie Demolition Man. Join us as we make Edgar Friendly the bad guy, eat ratburgers, and discover Simon Phoenix's still somehow frozen head in the corner of the room.

That's right, it's the episode one or two of you have probably been waiting for! Stick with us as we take your childhood board games and turn them into movie ideas! Marvel as we create a comedy vehicle for Steve Carell (not once, but twice!), a Demolition Man side story and a Footloose + disaster movie mashup! We hope you enjoy one of the weirdest Storied episodes yet, and considering we made a cinematic universe for breakfast cereal, that's saying something.

It's time for us to reboot Mega Man for the cynical age, so get ready for a gritty revenge movie starring The Rock as Rock (that's Mega man). We've got everything, gritty one-liners, a tragic origin story, mass amounts of robot murder and Rush the happy robot dog tearing out some mother****in' throats! Featuring special guest star: the pistol-welding yellow Mega Man from the original box art.

This week, Sean, Harrison and Chris put on their STARS Academy uniforms and take a trip to Raccoon City - the perfect setting for a TV melodrama. Join us as we adapt the beloved Resident Evil game series into a low budget network TV show. All of your favorite R.E. characters are here (maybe as teenagers): Chris, Jill, Claire, Leon, Wesker, and introducing everyone's new favorite, the evil Dr. Frankenshmeimer.

This week Chris, Sean and Harrison crack the case wide open and shine their gigantic 90's flashlights on The Truth (which is most certainly Out There) to find the perfect X-Files video game. Chris invents the perfect "Constantly Just Miss Seeing The Paranormal Stuff" mechanic. Sean and Harrison realize how normal it is to believe in huge government cover ups in 2018.

This week Sean, Harrison and Chris brave the apocalyptic wasteland in search of a perfect Mad Max TV show. Despite the odds, they just might have found it. Either that, or they went crazy and ate each other. You decide.

Join us as we make Predator into narrative survival game in the suburbs, discuss Adrian Brody's weird triangular upper body, and wonder why Bill Duke is always shaving his already-bald head. Also Harrison and Sean die, leaving Chris to awkwardly fend for himself.

Hot off the success of their amazing E.T. sequel, studio executives Sean, Harrison and Chris (now legally known as Tony, Tone, and Toni) have been tasked with developing the rich world of Kellogg's cereal into a fully realized cinematic universe with multiple phases. I mean, if the potential synergy of that transmedia experience doesn't get you excited, I don't know what will.

This week we spend probably a little too much time delving into the psyches of all the characters in the Die Hard franchise and turn it into a weekly television series, which absolutely 100% does not include in any way Live Free or Die Hard, or that other one. (Or Die Hard or Die Tryin'). Bonus Owen Wilson appearance!

This week we take the Chris Columbus/John Hughes "masterpiece," Home Alone, and make a pretty sweet video game out of it... or is it a movie? Whatever it is, it takes us to prison in an odd twist of events where the Wet Bandits give rise to the Piss Bandits, Buzz has a new girlfriend, and Kevin, Marv and Harry finally settle things once and for all.

We return after a brief hiatus to discuss exactly what it might have taken for Bill Murray to agree to do a third Ghostbusters film, which is apparently [redacted]. Also, Owen Wilson effing shows up to talk about Baltimore, and there's a couple of Die Hard references way ahead of our Die Hard episode (coming soon!). Then Harrison gets REALLY mean at the end.

This week we discuss how to properly make a Super Mario Bros. movie, turning it both into a good thing (a noir) and arguably a bad thing (an indie movie where Mario just imagines his life in the Mushroom Kingdom). Luigi is dead! Princess Peach is a checkout girl! Everything is insane!

This week, our first listener request! We had to tackle Rick and Morty at some point, and this is that point! Listen as we pit Rick and Morty against each other as they find themselves in an early 90s Live Action Feature Film! Muskrat Joe, this one's for you. Thanks for listening.

This week we turn around some actually decent game design as we transform the classic slasher flick Nightmare on Elm Street into a Silent Hill-esque video game. One, two, Freddie's comin' for you, three four... uh... video games!

This week a bit of a departure as we soft reboot the classic film E.T. for today's discerning audiences. Join brilliant and quality-focused Movie Studio Execs Sean, Harrison, and Chris as, like they would a frog, they dissect what made the original great, and see how it gets transformed all the way into Disney's Star Wars Episode XI - 3T 5D, A Star Wars E.T. Story.

The indie game Papers, Please describes itself as a "Dystopian Document Thriller," and this week we try to morph that idea into a weekly episodic television show. Special appearance by Limp Bizkit. Bizket? Biscuit? Who fucking cares.

This week we try to correct what we see as the mistakes of Mr. Lucas's Prequel Trilogy--namely it not revolving more around Jar Jar Binks. Also Sean preemptively burns any bridges with Disney. Also it was really fucking hot the day we recorded this. Holy shit. It even messed up the audio a bit, sorry in advance.

This time out we turn Playdead's amazing game INSIDE into two different kinds of films--one serious tackling of the subject matter, and then what Hollywood would probably do with it (starring Josh Gad as [massive spoiler])!

This week we transform the Cloverfield franchise into a AAA (or is it spelled Triple-A?) video game! Enjoy it or a giant monster will destroy you. Or maybe you'll be trapped in a basement by a lunatic.

Join us as we turn Edgar Wright's new film Baby Driver into a rhythm driving game? What?

Episode 2, where we attempt to make Bob's Burgers into a classic adventure game!

The inaugural episode of Storied, where we attempt to turn Overwatch into a Saturday Morning Cartoon!

Teaser for Season 1 of Storied, a new podcast where we take one form of media and transform it into another.