The Joose

Blank Check This movie is a 90's kids dream. Imagine a slight rip-off of Home Alone, along with a million reallyfucking cool toys, a HIGHLY inappropriate relationship and pimp-daddy kid whowill turn into a criminal slash already is one. Gina gives the joose on how savage and horny the parents are, how nochildren are given a shit about in the movie and how much the FBI sucks ass atsolving bank robberies and laundering. Gina's impressions involve a lot of yelling by the Dad (shocker) andbaby talk from the kid. Get ready for the sound effects at 30:00… you won't be disappointed. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

Sex and the City Season 1 Ep 3 Bay of Married Pigs Gina gives the joose on peppercorn dicks, Miranda's questionable sexualityalong with her manipulation and exploitation of an innocent gay woman, Charlottebeing way too pretentious and how Samantha is a hero in this episode. Why would Carrie EVER be friends with a married couple? She wouldn't. That's all. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely forentertainment!

Season 1 Ep 2 Models and Mortals Here is a great idea, make an episode making fun of models when 3 out of 4 main characters are basically models themselves. Gina gives the joose on a sexual predator, Miranda's shocking confidence and more people shoving their mouth with food while they talk. What the fuck is a modelizer? Charlotte is featured in this episode for 20 seconds. Big is sexy AF. That's all. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

Sex and the City Season 1 Ep 1 This show is equal part garbage and equal part amazing. Gina recaps the pilot episode… avoiding all very obviousissues with the show, sexism, racism, homophobia etc. She keeps it light andbreezy and also very hateful. Gina gives the joose from Carrie's perspective…ish. A littletwist on recapping episodes to keep y'all on your feet! A few excitingannouncements as well! Which character do you think Gina hates the most? We allknow which one is the prude and which one is the friskiest, but who constantlyshoves food in her mouth as she talks? Don't takethis podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment! www.joosepublishing.info https://www.audible.ca/pd/F-ck-U-Next-Audiobook/B08KHNGR59?qid=1603431429&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=65c74350-6dfb-47fa-85fd-1459a4762abd&pf_rd_r=PAQZV6H5BK0497D1NTCX

The Princess Diaries Spoiler, this movie mentions a diary ONCE and it is at the end of the movie. It means nothing. Gina and her cohost Michelle recap The Princess Diaries. This movie has been made 8372648 times already. Ugly nerd with glasses and frizzy hair gets made over, becomes popular, then everyone hates her, then she learns her lesson. There is an ugly buck-toothed side kick, a misunderstood musician, a cunty granny who has had nothing to do with her granddaughter her whole life until she needs something from her and a quirky mom. You have to have a corky mom. Gina and Michelle give the joose on who they think is hot and or gay, how the movie is an hour and a half, but nothing seems to happen and who wears cornrows. You've got terrible impressions, a variety of accents and a lot of singing again. Stay tuned to the end because the outtakes are almost as good as the recap. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

The Mask Somebody Stop Me!! Gina recaps one of her favourite movie as a kid, “The Mask” This movie fucking rocks. It rocked in 1994 and it still rocks today. There isn't much to make fun of, but Gina attempts many impressions. Some good, some not so good. Listen as Gina gives the joose on who she thinks is hot (besides the obvious Cameron D) which scenes have given her PTSD and anxiety and who is a good boy. Gina sings a lot in this episode because who doesn't love a great musical piece? As soon as you are done listening to this episode go watch the movie!!! Seriously, it rocks. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

FREAKY FRIDAY It was freaky and it was Friday. Gina and her cohost Michelle recap 2003 Freaky Friday. We had to keep on the theme of Lindsay Lohan and Gina's hate for older women. Jamie Lee Curtis is the most embarrassing person as she attempts to be a teenager. THIS SHOULD NEVER BE A THING. NO ADULT WOMAN SHOULD PLAY A TEENAGER – IT WON'T WORK. Gina and Michelle give the joose on how dumb this movie actually is, but also how much we love it. Who do we call Casper the Ghost? How fucking twisted and fucked up would it be to wake up and look down to see not your one vagine, but YOUR MOM'S!! New character Stinky Pinkhouse is introduced which leads to minutes of the girls laughing – don't worry, we sped up the laughter so you can go on with your day, but how could we take it out? The outtakes are almost just as long as the episode. Please humour us and listen to the very end…. Count how many times Michelle calls chad Michael Murray hot – spoiler it is A LOT!! Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

I have a little treat for you! A FREE preview of one of my favourite chapters from my book, "F*ck U, Next - How to Overcome Heartbreak" titled, "A Purple Dinosaur, Hot Jesus and a Drag Queen Walk Into the Bar" Need I explain more? Gina's audiobook will be released very soon! Here is a little sneak preview to get you reeeeeaaaaaaal excited for the book available on AUDIBLE! Gina gives the joose on her breakup, post breakup hookups, and everything inbetween.... LAAAAWWWWDDD is it juicy... and very helpful! Enjoy!!

ROCK OF LOVE Season 1 Episode 1 Gina and her cohosts/sisters Alison and Margot recap the reality show, Rock of Love. It features our one and only love, the husband to our sister wives, Bret Michaels. Bret is looking for love. They found 25 of the most beautiful women in the world (his words, definitely not ours) for Bret to choose from to find his rock of love. Think The Bachelor, but way more dramatic and a lot more trash (in the good way) Expect to find a lot of really poorly done fake tits (which we love) a bunch of really drunk and idiotic women and a few really awesome characters. Gina and her sisters give the joose on their true adoration and horniness for the lead singer of Poison, their imitations of the most annoying girls on the show and how tall Big John really is. We discuss men's height to penis ratio, scream from embarrassment and laugh…. A LOT. I know I say we will cover every episode this season, but it may take some convincing of the siblings first! So, for the mean time enjoy this first episode and hopefully you will love it and want more! Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

Because I Said So FUCK YOU DIANNE KEATON Warning, this episode contains a shit ton of violence and hate. The movie contains none of this, but Gina's hate for the Mom shows up in that manner. Gina gives the joose on which character she hates the most, which one looks most like Pinocchio and recaps every last stupid scene of this pointless movie. The inexperinced meddling Mother, the HORRIBLE outfit choices, the stupid plotline and the horniness is just TOO much. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

The Parent Trap Part Two Oh god, we pop another bottle of bubbly and you can hear it in Gina's voice as the episode goes on. You've got abusive parents who separated their twins at birth which is a sick fucking joke. You've got cutie little Lindsay Lohan playing both twins who pulls savage fucking pranks on their parents…. Brats. You've got a super-hot evil stepmother who is straight-up bullied by children… what more can you ask for? Michelle and I recap The Parent Trap. Expect to hear awful British accents (Michelle's is much better than mine) awful singing, and two besties laughing their ass off. This movie is the tits and us high school buddies recreating every moment makes it even better. Listen right to the end… the outtakes are outrageous. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

The Parent Trap Part One Apparently, my cohost Michelle and I can talk a loonnnnggggg time about The Parent Trap so this is a two parter You've got abusive parents who separated their twins at birth which is a sick fucking joke. You've got cutie little Lindsay Lohan playing both twins who pulls savage fucking pranks on their parents…. Brats. You've got a super-hot evil stepmother who is straight-up bullied by children… what more can you ask for? Michelle and I recap The Parent Trap. Expect to hear awful British accents (Michelle's is much better than mine) awful singing, and two besties laughing their ass off. This movie is the tits and us high school buddies recreating every moment makes it even better. Listen right to the end… the outtakes are outrageous. Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

EVERYONE IS AN ASSHOLE AND A HYPOCRITE. Gina talks shit and recaps High School Musical.. For all you fellow potty-mouths out there, you are going to bust a gut and love it! Every character fucking sucks in this movie besides Zac Efron. This movie is so dumb, and the resolution happens even faster than in Monster-in-Law. It is nerds VS jocks… sort of…. The whole theme of the movie is that everyone is so fucking mad at Zac Efron for wanting to sing in the musical… BUT EVERY CHARACTER IS SINGING DURING THE MOVIE TOO… can someone explain to me how this makes sense? Gina gives the joose on this embarrassing movie. Listen to her singing impressions of both Troy and Gabriella (I don't know which is worse, their actual voices or her impressions). Count how many times she changes the musical's composer name and really listen to the non-names she gives her. Find out who is named “Flamingo” and how the ending makes NO SENSE!! Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for purely for entertainment!

We are on a J-Lo roll! This week Gina and her two fabulous and hilarious co hosts/sisters recap MONSTER-IN-LAW!Why are all relationships in movies in such an effing rush? Slow the fuck down, people don't need to get married after 4 months of dating! Gina got a litttttttle drunk for this episode and you can definitely hear her drunk voice progress throughout this episode.Gina and her sisters give the joose on how uncharismatic the main male character is, how awesome Wanda Sykes is and how unrealistically sudden this movie resolves itself. Count how many times Gina loses track of where they are at and find out who Margot calls a potato. Who has the best J-Lo impression? Could it be Alison? Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is purely for entertainment! :)

Do yourself a favour and listen to this episode immediately!Gina talks shit and recaps her very first rom-com… The Wedding Planner. For all you fellow potty-mouths out there, you are going to bust a gut and love it! The Wedding Planner is a really terrible rom-com, but also entertaining as hell and makes making fun of it so easy. Gina's impression of J-Lo and her character's Dad is fucking SPOT ON, while her Matthew McConaughey needs… well a LOT of work! Gina gives the joose on wretched, cheating fiancés, how J-Lo for the love of Satan cannot push her voice out and the real lyrics to “For he's a jolly good fellow” and much more. Find out who Gina gives a special shout out to at the end of the episode! This might be her best work yet. (Purely based on how much she laughed out loud while editing this episode) Don't take this podcast too seriously! It is for pure entertainment sake :)

They shouldn't have called this movie “It takes two” they should have called it, “Two disobedient twats who throw fits to get their way”Listen to Gina Jestadt talk shit about a terrible Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie... IT TAKES TWO. She hilariously recaps this terrible (there is no other way to describe it) movie! For all you fellow potty-mouths out there, you are going to bust a gut and love it!Apologies in advance to everyone who actually like this movie, but let's be real it is f*cking garbage.Gina gives the joose on her damaged throat chakra (because talking about this movie physically hurts her) about how big of a shitty ass parent the Dad is, how smoking hot Kirstie Alley is and how she gets a pussy pounding of a lifetime (spoiler, not by the Dad). Find out the reason why the identical strangers aren't related... or are they? Don't take this podcast too seriously! :)

Listen to Gina Jestadt talk shit (and love) about one of her fave movies as a kid – MATILDA! Gina hilariously recaps this terrible, yet spectacularly adorable movie! For all you fellow potty-mouths out there, you are going to bust a gut and love it!Matilda is the most unrealistic movie of all time. This episode is basically just Gina doing impressions of every single character… she doesn't know if she should be apologizing for these impressions or asking you to thank her in advance for them.Whether you have seen the movie or not, you will love this episode!Listen as Gina gives The Joose on whether or not Miss Honey deserves a BF, if Matilda is a know it all bitch (spoiler – she is) and how Danny Devito drives a car. Don't take this podcast too seriously! :)P.S sorry in advance, the sound is so echoey, but I am not fucking going back and changing it, hahah sorry!!!

Listen to Gina Jestadt talk shit (and love) about one of her fave movies as a kid - Beethoven's 2nd. Gina hilariously recaps this terrible, yet spectacularly adorable movie. This podcast is explicit - just look at the title! For all you fellow potty-mouths out there, you are going to bust a gut and love it!Beethoven is one horny bugger inthis movie - not that i remember his behaviour in the first one. Gina will take you back to 1993 in a world where the children hide puppies from their dad because they are terrified of him and his reaction. Where a teenager falls in love with 2 guys - spoiler alert, one of them is a giant pervert. And where Beethoven finally loses his virginity.Listen as Gina spills the tea on the PTSD this movie gave her as well as the root cause of her anxiety. Don't take this podcast too seriously! :)