Podcasts about Horny

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Latest podcast episodes about Horny

La Chute de Lapinville - Une fiction quotidienne

Le projet Vol-au-vent se poursuit sur fond de tensions entre Sergi et l'Enzyme.La Chute de LapinvilleLapin, pervers narcissique en fin de droits, raconte son retour à Lapinville et sa décision de faire un podcast pour se venger de ses anciens camarades d'école. Il est bientôt rejoint par Chloé Bloomington, star de cinéma qu'une énorme shitstorm oblige à revenir dans sa ville natale pour jouer dans une fiction quotidienne à la con. Puis, on suit l'enquête de Spiruline, astucieuse stagiaire à la mairie, qui dévoilera des scandales insoupçonnés dans les plus hautes sphères de Lapinville… Tour à tour, les Lapinvillois témoignent pour essayer de comprendre comment, une chose en entraînant une autre, ils ont fini par provoquer la destruction de la Terre. Leurs destins entremêlés forment une pelote visible de l'espace dont cette série, cinq minutes par jour, va dérouler le fil. Fresque épique et palpitante, chronique de la catastrophe en cours et de ses ramifications les plus inattendues, La Chute de Lapinville a pu être décrite comme une variante des Simpson à la sauce rond-point ou un jumeau maléfique de Plus belle la vie. Création 2023 Scénario et dialogues Benjamin Abitan, Wladimir Anselme, Laura Fredducci Direction artistique Benjamin Abitan Conseillère littéraire Noémie Landreau Réalisation Benjamin Abitan Assistante réalisation Alexandra Garcia-Vilà Musique originale Samuel Hirsch Comédiens Denis Lavant (Sergi Mollins) Christine Lhôte (L'enzyme) Ivan Cori (Sergi Mollins) Bernard Gabay (Georges Legroin) Charlotte Issaly (Dominique Poêlon) Françoise Loreau (Mme Merceron) Alexandra Garcia-Vila (Alexandra) Rosa Mouterde Monteil (Chloé enfant) Maayan Dweck (Ryan enfant) Guillaume Bursztyn (Rayan) Voix générique Colette Marie Production ARTE Radio ARTE Studio Virginie Lacoste Sahar Pirouz Jacques Falgous Illustration Roxane Lumeret

Recovery Radio Podcast - KMP3 - Long-Term Sobriety in A.A.
Episode #8 (Season 10) - "Lonely and Horny"

Recovery Radio Podcast - KMP3 - Long-Term Sobriety in A.A.

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2025 21:08


My new website that links to everything: SARCASTICRECOVERY.COMFollow me on Instagram.New, beautiful meditation channel on YouTube, 11TH STEP CHANNEL.

The Jacqueline Monroe Show
410- Skims Thong, Louvre Heist Theory, and Why I'm Horny And Hungry

The Jacqueline Monroe Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2025 162:17


REVIEW THE SHOW ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ https://open.spotify.com/show/4ijzUBunTIHgVmahB0ISEN BECOME A PATRON! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/tjms⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ KEEP IN TOUCH!INSTAGRAM »⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinemonroe/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TIKTOK » jacqueline.monroe EMAIL THE SHOW!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ tjmsshow@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ MY MUSIC GUY⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/robmonmusic⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ SPONSORSSpotify for Podcasters

The Greatest Discovery: New Star Trek Reviewed
Horny Laika Is Dead (TOS S1E6)

The Greatest Discovery: New Star Trek Reviewed

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2025 66:23


When a transporter malfunction strands an away team on a freezing planet, it also creates evil duplicates of Captain Kirk and a weird dog. But after naughty Kirk takes things too far with Yeoman Rand, nice Kirk is convinced to face the fear of recombination. Who is allowed to do father-in-law impressions? What's the best way to heal an open wound? When would Spock beat Kirk at 3D chess? It's the episode that's at the headwaters of a trope.Support the production of Greatest TrekGet a thing at podshop.biz!Sign up for our mailing list!Greatest Trek is produced by Wynde PriddySocial media is managed by Rob Adler and Bill TilleyMusic by Adam RaguseaFriends of DeSoto for: Labor | Democracy | JusticeDiscuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestTrek and find us on social media:YouTube | Facebook | X | Instagram | TikTok | Mastodon | Bluesky | ThreadsAnd check out these online communities run by FODs: Reddit | USS Hood Discord | Facebook group | Wikia | FriendsOfDeSoto.social Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The Food Code
#908: SHBG - The Hidden Reason You're Exhausted, Bloated and Not Horny

The Food Code

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2025 19:50


If your labs are “normal” but you still feel like crap—bloated, fatigued, moody, low libido—this episode is a must-listen. Liz and Becca break down Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG), the liver-made protein that can block your sex hormones from doing their job. Learn how SHBG messes with testosterone, estrogen, and metabolism… and why your OB/GYN probably isn't testing for it. From reverse dieting and boron to liver health and insulin resistance, we cover exactly what to do when SHBG is high or low. Functional healing starts here.

The Worst Movie Ever Made
#223 - Girls Just Want To Have Fun

The Worst Movie Ever Made

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2025 81:47


This week we get into 80s historical fiction, Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Not too much fun though, they don't even say “wanna,” which would come off as a little more informal and a lot more up for anything. Champagne wishes and leotard dreams coming right up for yerrrrrr! Here we go. Giddy, godly, go go girls grind with guys, grappling with a groovy gyration game, giving gramps the gloomy gus groan, then green light gladness!  Super 80s caucasian dance pop kind of … thing? Horny babysitting tactics! Rich Bitch Natalie is just fucking awful! Chris wants to get back there! Lynn's limb manipulation! Rob is right about walkaround milk, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.comAlso, shameless plug! Bob's daughter Ilijana's short film, A Trip To Lua, is streaming for free on Youtube.

It's A Mimic!
Tieflings: Horny Little Devils - Species (E318)

It's A Mimic!

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2025 58:25


This episode looks at the new kinds of Tieflings and what makes each one unique! Cold Open 0:00 Opening Theme & Intro 5:15 Themes & Lore 7:25 Stats 16:33 Lineages 24:19 Inspirations 25:52 Outro & Closing Theme 50:52 Post Credit (incl. Arrow Demon) 53:16 DON'T FORGET TO LIKE & SUBSCRIBE! Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/user?u=84724626 Website: https://www.itsamimic.com Email at info@itsamimic.com Social: Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/itsamimic/?hl=en Threads at https://www.threads.net/@itsamimicpodcast Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/itsamimic/ Reddit at https://www.reddit.com/r/ItsaMimic/ Find Us On: Spotify at https://open.spotify.com/show/3Y19VxSxLKyfg0gY0yUeU1 Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/its-a-mimic/id1450770037 Podbean at https://itsamimic.podbean.com/ YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzQmvEufzxPHWrFSZbB8uuw Dungeon Master 1:  Adam Nason Dungeon Master 2:  Megan Lengle Dungeon Master 3:  Miaca Nason Narrator:  Adam Nason Script By:  Adam Nason, Megan Lengle, and Miaca Nason Produced By:  Megan Lengle Director:  Adam Nason Editor:  Adam Nason Executive Producer:  Adam Nason Main Theme:  Cory Wiebe Musical Scores:  Tyler Gibson Logo by:  Megan Lengle Other Artwork is owned by Wizards of the Coast. This episode is meant to be used as an inspirational supplement for Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition and tabletop roleplaying games in general.  It's A Mimic! does not own the rights to any Wizards of the Coasts products.

The Manwhore Podcast: A Sex-Positive Quest
Ep. 615: Sex, Astrology, and Horny Marriages with Madi Murphy

The Manwhore Podcast: A Sex-Positive Quest

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2025 86:24


What does your birth chart say about your sexuality? Cosmic consultant Madi Murphy shares how understanding astrology can help you understand your love life. Murphy also gets into her culty Long Island origin story and how she keeps her marriage so horny!Mentioned:Philly - Sign up for Naked Comedy Show alerts https://mailchi.mp/gmail/jor7ew9k5lLos Angeles - Sign up for Naked Comedy Show alerts http://eepurl.com/jn0dDMLive elsewhere? Sign up for my mailing list at http://eepurl.com/Ve3WDFollow Madi Murphy!Book: In The Cosmic ZoneInstagram: @iammadimurphyPodcast: CosmicRX Radio with Madi MurphyInstagram: @thecosmicrxWebsiteFollow Billy!Instagram: @billyprocidajrTikTok: @TheBillyProcidaThreads: @billyprocidajrBlueSky: @thebillyprocida0nlyFans: @callmebillyMoney StuffVenmo: @BillyProcidaCash App: $manwhorepodPayPal/Zelle: funnybillypro@gmail.comSupport the podcast on Patreon at http://patreon.com/manwhorepodcastSupport indie bookstores at http://bookshop.org/shop/billy!Make new friends in The Champagne Room at http://manwhorepod.com/discordEmail your comments, questions, and criticisms to manwhorepod@gmail.com.Late Night Radio by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/www.ManwhorePod.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aaron Scene's After Party
PARANORMAL RESEARCH INVESTIGATORS feat. @alxmajestic & @prielpaso

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2025 92:19


The new Rumps & Bumps jersey just dropped! Check out afterpartyinc.com. It's the Halloween Edition of the After Party and for this one we invite our friends over from P.R.I to come on share some spooky stories and they also bring some of their EMF devices for us to check out! They also tell us about some of the spooky places they've investigated and personal encounters. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

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My Skeptical Sister
252. I'm The Horny One

My Skeptical Sister

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2025 54:16


Nobody call PETA. Our fan favorite this week is Robyn. She wants to remind everyone to take care of your mental health, and we couldn't support that more! Please remember to Rate, Review, and Subscribe on Apple Podcast and Spotify.  If you would like to write in, find us on Patreon, buy MERCH, or find our social handles, go to our website,⁠ www.myskepticalsister.com You can also support us with a one time donation at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/myskepticaz

ExplicitNovels
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 9

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2025


Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 9 The Sinister Science Club In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             Anyone can be who they want to be; the challenge is being who you need to be Raven Thorpe was awarded the 'honor' of working with me, a designation she groaned over, and other girls glared at her with jealousy. After class she attempted to shoulder past me but I tapped her arm. "Can we talk for a second?" I inquired. "Don't you have to scurry off and take care of your schedule?" she replied blandly. "Can you stop being a bitch for fifteen seconds so we can figure out which author we can work on?" I snapped angrily. She pulled up short as if she expects to be pimp-slapped next. "Okay, who do you have in mind?" she requested. "And if you say William Shakespeare, I am going to smack you with my book bag." "I was thinking the political works of Edmund Burke," I suggested. Raven blinked. "Seriously, I didn't think you even knew who Edmund Burke was, much less that he was the father of modern conservatism," Raven congratulated me. It was almost like she wanted to pat me on the head and give me a doggy bone. "I was thinking of concentrating more on his works during the American Revolution, but if that's what you are more comfortable with, we could cover his later period works instead," I offered. "Good point, Zane. Let's talk it over during lunch," Raven suggested. "Zane," summoned a female voice from outside the classroom. "Go on," Raven smirked, "enjoy your disproportionate level of abuse." "You act like I have any choice in the matter," I shrugged. It was of little consolation that Raven made it ten more feet from the door when she got snatched up too. This time out, my mistress got to point to a feature on her body and I had to give it a flattering description, I know, my life is utter hell. I had no idea where the Science Club met; I even began to get the sinking feeling they carefully controlled any information about themselves, sort of like a secret society, or the CIA. "Hello, I'm Paige," spoke this girl, who apparently materialized out of the ether. I'm not paranoid; I've spent the past two years in a region where you have to be alert because Tigers are common and I say this girl freaking ghosted me, Man. "I'm with the Science Club. You will come with me right now," she smiled like said predator cat trying to disguise herself as a white rabbit. "You are albino," I noted. She had long white hair, alabaster skin, and a red shadow to her eyes. She was also the only girl to date I'd seen with the dark blue jacket that was part of our winter uniform. She also had a jaunty blue hat and white stockings instead of socks. "You have eyes," she rolled hers, "now come along." I started to follow her. "So what is this meeting about?" I asked. "It isn't a meeting; we require you for something," she replied. "What is it?" I became more cautious. "It is a surprise," she mocked me. "Stop wasting my time and come along." "Cool, I'm out of here." I grinned, turned, and left. Paige staggered and seemed unable to grasp my departure. "Where are you going?" she snapped tartly. "To Archery Club," I replied, while still walking away. "But, but you said you would come," she stuttered. "Am I a person? Are you?" "Yes and yes," she replied with irritation. "Are you an idiot or a child? Because those are the only reasons to forgive your spoiled behavior," I turned and said. Paige glared. "So you assume you are smarter than me and can be rude to someone who is doing you a favor." "We are the ones doing you a favor," Paige snapped back. "Now we want you to repay us." "Did you discuss payment when you did me the favor of rewiring my room? No? Good, because if you had, I would clearly be suffering a form of amnesia," I gave back. "If you want something, you can ask as a friend or you can offer me something that makes it worth my while. Now go back to Cordelia and tell her you have returned alone because you were so much smarter than me. If you could only 'speak friend', I continued walking away. "Wait," Paige called out nervously. "I, I, and I could almost hear the wheels turning. "Speak friend and enter." I stopped in midstride. "So you read through my school records and know my top ten influences," I turned and responded. We stared at each other for almost a minute until she finally gave up and put on her sunglasses. I retraced my steps back to her. "Favorite member of the Fellowship?" I tested her. "Legolas," she responded. I scoffed and she had the human decency to look embarrassed. "Ha," I scoffed again. "Horny girls go for the elf; the marrying kind goes for Aragorn." "Who is yours, then, wise guy?" she volleyed. "Boromir," I declared my allegiance. "Ah, of course; the veteran warrior in a doomed struggle; he forsakes his honor only to redeem it in a hopeless fight, perishing in the arms of his brothers," Paige retorted. "I thought you would have gone for Aragorn, the Uncrowned King." "Hmm," I winced, "my second choice was actually Frodo but that would have sounded gay." "You can't be gay; you are not clever enough to conceal that," she stated. "See, now you are sounding like Saruman the White," I teased. "Let me guess: because I'm an albino," she grumbled. "You are an albino? I was talking about your facial hair and that arrogant, know-it-all vibe you've got going on," I joked. Paige stared at me, suddenly speechless, finally taping her chin. "At least you didn't call me Gollum," she admitted. "Nah; too much hair and not enough skin slime," I explained as I ran the back of one finger over her cheek. She flinched slightly. "Are you going to, please, come with me now?" she asked much more politely. "Are you going to have sex with me?" I grinned. "What?" she squawked. "Just joshing you," I smiled. "You are far too pretty to be interested in me. Let's go." I'd clearly unsettled her because she didn't say another word to me until we were going downstairs in the Clegger Science Building. "Do you really think I'm pretty?" she asked as we finished the last set of stairs. "I must confess I find most women attractive, but you are far prettier than most," I replied. "Do you still want to have sex with me?" she said in a casual voice. I took her hand and placed it on my heart. "Hah," she snorted, "I get it; your heart is beating so yes, you want to have sex with me." "I was going to say that a steady heartbeat indicated I was telling the truth, but someone keeps insisting they are smarter than me," I teased her. Am I really asking for another sex partner? What's wrong with me? Her reaction wasn't what I expected it to be and then I realized that she still had something over on me, the reason for me being here. Bitch. She opened a door into a dark room and ushered me in. There appeared to be about ten ladies in the room, playing with a variety of electronics. "Delivered as promised," Paige called out. "What did he hit you with?" a short caramel-skinned girl inquired. "Fellowship of the Ring," Paige grinned. Mother-fuckers! "Did he offer to have sex with you?" Cordelia asked playfully. "Yes. And not only gave me a 'pretty' but also a 'far prettier'." Paige gave me a smug look. "Ha, ha, ha," I muttered. Idiot me forgot that psychology is also a science, and the reason we don't have a chess club at FFU was also evident; the Science Club devoured them. "Come on, Zane," Cordelia batted her full lashes at me. "We need a little favor and it won't take fifteen minutes." "Couldn't you simply coerce me into doing this?" I stated. "I'm sure this whole rigmarole of making me think I'm doing you a favor has to be making things more difficult." "We are all friends here," Cordelia smiled. "No, if we were all friends here, Iona would be at my side," I scolded her. "I admit you did a great scam getting me in this room, but you aren't nearly as good at lying to my face as you think you are." "Iona, Paige started to say. "Don't!" Cordelia snapped, then took a deep breath. "If you threaten Iona he will hit you, no," she corrected, "He'll hit me," Cordelia reasoned out. "There are eleven of us," another girl, Pandora Jaspers, stated, somewhat angry and confident. "I've seen him fight, Pandora. I saw him drop Mercy Chaplain. I've seen him fight Cappadocia Davis and Coach Gorman too," Cordelia said coolly as we stared at one another. "Unless we curl up in a ball on the ground, he'll beat us down. We'll hurt him, but Zane can take more pain than we can because he cares about her." "On that note, I'm gone again. Good going Paige; I'm sure you can think of something to make your sisters understand," I shrugged and moved for the door. "Zane, I need you to strip down and let us attach a series of video and biometric sensors so we can create a 'Virtual Zane' for a little project we are working on," Cordelia blurted out. I had to think hard about this; not because I didn't want to do it but because I had to figure if this was an honest play or another convoluted turn of the screws. I turned and looked at Cordelia. "There was no way in hell you ever thought I was a professor and you miraculously materialized outside my first class with the knowledge I was actually a freshman, damn, Cordelia, can't you just ask for stuff?" I berated her. "If you ask, you depend on another to get what you want; if you deceive, you win or lose on your own abilities," she shrugged. "Besides, I did ask you to kiss me; remember?" "Good enough; where do you want me to stand?" I responded. "Wait," Paige gawked. "Now he is doing it." "Alright ladies," one girl grinned. "Everyone pay up. I told you we should simply ask him." With that, I stepped over to a table and began stripping. Slowly the girls around me stopped what they were doing and openly ogled me. I guess the real me was better than the video. "Aren't you curious about what we are going to do?" Pandora inquired. "You are probably going to tell me that I'm posing naked because it is easier to dress an 'uncluttered' form, or something to that effect, but really, I like Cordelia and Iona is one of my two best friends," I mulled it over. "Besides, in case you missed it, I've seen all your faces." Once they took that bit of news in, things went along smoothly, though they had some debate amongst themselves on whether my cock needed its own 'reference point', a sensor attached. The amusing thing was, when the girl running the computer imaging asked me to keep my cock still, I had to reply that certain reactions weren't under my control, which caused a rather awkward moment. When I was finally finished there was another quiet interlude as I got dressed. "So," Cordelia wondered, rocking back and forth on her feet, "if we need more, data, could we get you to come back?" "Sure," I smiled back, "you know where I live, and you certainly know what my digits are. Cordelia, I want you to consider that if something happens in my room that ends up on the web that betrays the trust people have put in me, I'm not going to come after all of you looking for excuses. Are we clear?" "Is that a threat, Zane?" Cordelia beamed playfully. "Cordelia, I'm always one step away from being tossed out of here on my ass, so those who chose to trust me and take up my cause are doing it because they are decent folk. I'm not like most people; I can't afford to toss friends away like most of the rest of the people in this room seem to be comfortable with." "Or what," Paige smirked, "you'll beat us up?" "No, Paige. I value trust, so if you take that away from me, I'll find out what you value and take that away from you," I stared at her intently. "I know what you are going to say, Paige," Cordelia jumped in, "and Zane being expelled will only mean that he has no other distractions from dealing with us and he'll still have people inside the school all too willing to help him." "Zane, how about if something is done, we give you an off switch for various sections?" Cordelia offered. "Sounds great; let me know how the project works out, but now I have to go to Archery," I replied, before slipping out the door. "How did he know we were going to wire his room?" I overheard Paige whisper to Cordelia. "You don't seriously think he came here solely because we tricked him, do you?" Cordelia answered. "He knew we would try something and he wanted us to know that he knew." Yes, I had bumbled into the message I'd wanted to get across despite myself. Does Anyone Want Me Here? I had escaped school with a double date for Thursday Night (Chastity and Hope), then stopped by the house to plead with Aunt Jill to let Rio stay for the weekend. I gave a rational case, a compassionate reason, and then fell down on my knees and told her I really, really, really wanted her to stay. Something in that last argument made Jill relent and I phoned the good news to Rio. All that groveling resulted in me making the Festivities Committee Meeting by only two minutes. I swept into the room abruptly and as the story of my life goes, everyone stopped talking and looked at me. A quick scan of the room told me that two of the eight women knew to expect me, or at least some guy, while the others clearly assumed I'd lost my way. "Can we help you, young man?" an older woman with hair mostly turned to gray. "Welcome, Glenn," Mrs. Wellington said. "Ladies, Pastor William has asked us to introduce Mr. Braxton to the good works of our Church." There was a pause. "Thank you, Mrs. Wellington, but no one alive calls me Glenn anymore, and I'm not old or accomplished enough to be Mr. Braxton, like my Father or Uncle Tim. My teachers call me Zane." "Oh, you are at the University?" a third woman asked politely. She was asking if I went to the University of Virginia. "No, I don't go to UV; I go to FFU, it is a long story," I replied with trepidation. "I have a daughter at Freedom Fellowship," one of the women responded with concern. "What is her name?" I tried to be polite, what were the odds? "Pandora Jaspers," Mrs. Jaspers answered. "Seriously? I've done Handmaiden duty for her, and today I saw her at the Science Club," I sighed with relief. "What did she have you do?" yet another woman inquired intently. "I helped her create an umbrella walkway when it was raining so that all the students could get to class without getting soaked," I informed them. "Have you been to 'camp'?" a sixth woman hinted at something. "Camp, no, I can't say I've ever been to a camp," I evaded, because I had no idea what they meant. "That's enough, ladies," Mrs. Wellington said. "We have business to take care of. We can worry about Mr. Braxton's confusion at a later time." Oh, they think I'm gay. Camp = Gay camp where fundamentalists are sure I could be cured of being homosexual. I try not to laugh. "Mr. Braxton, I want you to sit at the chair there," Mrs. Wellington pointed to a chair away from the table, against the wall. "I want you to take personal notes for the members, things that don't go into the official record. Doreen Saxon," she indicated the gray haired woman "is our secretary. She takes the official notes of the meeting, so pay attention." The Meeting for the first of September was called to order, the record of attendance including the difficulty of my name, they kept trying to call me Glenn Braxton while I politely asked for Zane. They went with Glenn. The rest of the group worked out like this: Rochelle Wellington was Chairwoman, Kendra Bainbridge was our Treasurer, and Doreen Saxon was the grey-haired Secretary. The rest of the group consisted of Claire Baker, Theresa Geiger, Columbia Jaspers, Heidi Moulin, and Sahara Penny, the Pastor's wife. As the meeting progressed there was little I could do but watch the group dynamics at work. For starters, Bainbridge was at Wellington's throat; they clearly didn't like one another. The other was an oddity; no one interacted with Sahara Penny. I wasn't sure if it was her non-white heritage (Middle Eastern of some sort), her meek nature, or some past sin, but I decided to take advantage of it. I got up quietly and began walking around the table. "Glenn," Mrs. Saxon asked, but I ignored her because, damn it, how many times do I have to tell them my name is Zane? I walked over and knelt by Sahara. "Zane," Mrs. Wellington addressed me, "are you looking for the bathroom?" Bingo! "No, Mrs. Wellington. I was hoping to get some background information on the current discussions as well as contact information for the group. Since the rest of you are treating Mrs. Penny like she has the plague, I figured she would be the perfect candidate to tell me what is really going on here," I grinned at her. "It is always the quiet ones who know the most." And everyone stopped talking. Sahara not only looked shocked and frightened to see me, she looked like she wanted to sink under the table when I told the rest of them my reason for being here. "I assure you, Mr. Braxton, we are fully including Sahara in the process," Mrs. Bainbridge snorted indignantly. "I will gladly accept your reprimand if you can please tell me the last five words you said to her since I arrived," I requested, with as much innocence as I could beg, borrow, or steal. "I asked her about the children's clothing for the Nativity this year," Kendra said after a long pause. "That was Claire, not Sahara," I corrected her. "It is in my notes, but I'm sure Doreen can corroborate my recall of events." "Well," she said testily, "I'm sure I said something to her." Silence. "I apologize for disrupting the meeting. I'll crouch here quietly and conference with Sahara while the rest of you complete the business of the day," I told them, then turned back to Sahara. "Now, what the heck is up with the live turkey at the Thanksgiving celebration?" In the end, I gathered my information, the meeting concluded its business, and the room emptied until it was me, Sahara, Kendra, and Rochelle. "A Christian gentleman would apologize," Kendra informed me. "Well, I guess that makes us both poor Christians, because a good Christian woman wouldn't have lied to me," I calmly replied. Kendra gaped like a fish out of water. "Rochelle!" Kendra snapped to the Committee head. "Zane, you apologize to Kendra right now," she commanded me, without much passion. "Kendra Bainbridge, I apologize for my rude and uncalled for behavior," I said with a bow. Neither woman had expected me to fold up like that, so all Kendra could do was huff and storm out of the room. "Thank you," Sahara whispered, as she touched my hand. "I don't always know the right side to fight on but it is usually by the side of the person being bullied," I grinned. "It is the Christian thing to do," I added with a wink. That left me with Rochelle Wellington: MILF, Lance the asshole's Mom, and wife of the Mayor. She looked like she wanted to stand up but couldn't. Me, I had a Sorority meeting to get to, I missed dinner so I had to grab something first, and why in the hell was I even thinking what I was thinking? I sat down beside her. "What's wrong?" I began. She looked at me, tired and somehow forlorn. "You wouldn't understand, Mr. Braxton, Zane," she sighed. "Try me; the worst that could happen is, I give the expression that every teenager gives an adult when something important is being said but we are too caught up in our own lives to understand." "Oh, good point, young man," she sighed, "but I'm afraid I don't have anything even remotely interesting to talk about." I waited patiently. "I'm feeling sorry for myself. My baby is leaving the nest and it has been so long since I've been alone in the house, I don't know what to do with myself." "Lance is an only child?" I wondered. "Oh, no, he is the youngest of five," she responded with sadness. My jaw dropped and she stared at me. "What, did you start having kids when you were ten?" I gawked. "What?" she sounded confused. "I have a hard time believing you are forty, much less the mother of five grown children," I stammered. At first Rochelle was embarrassed and a bit uncomfortable, but slowly the compliment seeped its way into her psyche. "I, I have a home gym," she suggested as an answer. "Well, whatever you've been doing has worked. Your husband is one lucky guy, and I hope he appreciates you and all you do to look, act, and feel so young," I wowed her. "I'm not feeling all that young right now," she slipped back into her depression. "Where does it hurt?" I changed my focus. "I don't know what you mean?" she asked. "People keep their stress in different places; the back of the neck, the mid-back, shoulders, or temples," I informed her. "I'm not comfortable talking with you about that," Mrs. Wellington replied warily. "Sure," I said popping out of my seat. "I apologize if I crossed any lines," and I made for the door. "Wait, Zane, I apologize. I'm tired and a bit cranky. I know you didn't mean anything and besides, I'm sure you already have a girlfriend," Rochelle admitted. "Please don't spread this around, but I have several girlfriends at the moment. They know about each other, I'm not going to lie about my sex life, but they are usually interested in different things," I told her. "You have, multiple girlfriends, different things? Like what kind of different things?" Rochelle spilled out her confused thoughts. "Some women like sexual contact," I related, "while others like romantic time together, and still others want companionship." There was another long pause. "But you are at Freedom Fellowship University, she trembled. "I've never taken a student's virginity, if that's what you are asking," I answered. "Oh, I understand. I've taught all my children that they should be virgins on their wedding day," Rochelle said with some pride. "I have to disagree with that," I shocked her, "but that is one of the reasons that women are better than girls." "And how would you know this?" She now turned in her chair to face me, trying to sound affronted but coming across as deeply curious. "Umm, I've had sex with girls in their teens and women in their forties, and women know more, pace themselves better, and generally have better bodies," I explained. "Teen girls need a few more years to fill out." Rochelle was utterly speechless, and part of that had to do with the fact that I was being frank and honest, yet not openly coming on to her. "You must not think much of me, then," she mused, "teaching my children my views on virginity." "Where did you get that from? If anything, you are proving yourself to be an intelligent, warm, caring, and compassionate woman and mother, who happens to look like she's less than forty years old," I added. "You did what you thought was right. I can't argue with that." "Well, good," she replied. "Now for my part, I was taught that a real man gives his lover multiple orgasms and he should never reach fulfillment before his partner does. Any man who does so is being selfish," I stated. "How did you come by this, thinking?" she inquired with a small voice. "Umm, I've had sex around five hundred times with thirty different partners," I told her, "so I've not only learned from very good teachers, I've field tested their ideas." "How can you possibly consider yourself a good Christian, Zane?" she accused me. "Compassion, respect for all living things, and forgiveness, that's what I believe in and what Christianity stands for in my eyes," I explained. "The Bible is clear on sex and the sanctity of the marriage bed," Rochelle insisted. "Mrs. Wellington, everything after the death of Jesus is conjecture. We both accept that Jesus was the Son of God, but after he dies, who is to say who was being touched by the Divine, who was building on JC's teachings, and who was simply making stuff up," I held up my hand to stop Rochelle's protest. "The Catholics have a thousand Saints, most of whom we don't hold to be divinely inspired. You chose to believe that virginity is a girl's sacred duty, but I don't recall Christ saying anything on the subject. You can certainly quote later Gospels or the Old Testament, but that makes it your choice, not the Word of God," I finished up. Another long pause followed. "I keep my stress in the top of my shoulders," she suddenly said. I stood up and moved behind her, deciding to not question her changing opinion of me. "It helps if you take off your jacket," I suggested, then helped her shimmy out of it. She tensed up as my hands weighed down lightly on her shoulders so I kept my touch gentle. Two minutes into the massage, I began squeezing harder and harder, moving my palms back and forth over her bra straps from upper arm to neck. "Rochelle," I whispered into her ear, "I am going to rotate your shoulders." I rolled over each shoulder one at a time but when I finished, I pushed her slowly forward until she was resting her elbows on the table and held her head on her upturned hands. When I went back to the massage, I worked her over harder and extended my reach from her mid-back to neck. This was clearly a case of begging forgiveness instead of asking permission. I took my time, relaxing her to a completely detached state. When I brought her back to reality, I was kneeling beside her and tapping her on the arm. "Rochelle? Are you okay," I asked in a gentle, caring voice. Dreamily, she turned her head from its resting place on her arms to look at my eyes straight-on and mere inches away. "What, huh?" she muttered. "How do the shoulders feel? Has your stress gone away?" I inquired. "Yes, yes," she popped up, alert once more. "It feels really good, in fact. I haven't felt this way in years," she added with a smile. "I think it is time for us to go," I suggested. "Can I help you with your jacket?" "Of course," she nodded. "Thank you for helping an old lady out." I held it while she put in one arm after the other but when I settled it on her shoulders, I stepped in and held her there for a moment while I pressed myself against her so she could feel how I felt about 'old ladies'. Rochelle froze when she felt my cock, rigid in my slacks, pressed against her ass. I was unsure if I'd gone too far when she pushed ever so slightly against me. "I've got to be going. I will see you on Sunday but I'm home all weekend with one of my girlfriends in case you need me," I informed her. I slipped out before she could respond because not only did I have a Sorority function to attend, I also needed to figure out where I could score some Viagra because I clearly had no common sense where sex was concerned. Besides, Sahara was obviously in need of attention because Pastor Bill wasn't giving it to her, and Bainbridge was lashing out due to years of sexual frustration, I repeat: I have no common sense. Every One Like a Fingerprint to Me When I was racing to get to the Kappa Sigma House, I hardly expected to be met by one of their pledges and absolutely no one else. After I sat down in the den and the pledge, Tina, got me a soda from the kitchen, we found ourselves staring at one another. "So, I'm here on the correct night; right?" I asked. "Yes, you are, Zane," she bubbled with anticipation. "Where is everybody?" I prodded her. "They are taking care of Sorority business but they will come get us when they are ready," she grinned. I knew I was missing something but I didn't know what it was. "Is it hot in here?" I wondered. "Yes," Tina said after a bit of concentration. "Tina, can I have some Advil? I'm getting a headache," I yawned. "Okay," Tina responded, still happy, and still sitting down. "Ah, fuck, you drugged me, didn't you?" I groaned. I doubted I could still stand and then proved my doubts as I slid off the chair. "Damn," I slurred. Tina walked over to me, took my drink away, and gently maneuvered my body to the floor. "If it is any consolation, I was selected as the pledge most likely to seduce you," she stated with real sympathy. I might have smiled at her, I wasn't sure, but I definitely passed out. Cough! Someone plunged cleaning detergent underneath my nose and fired me back to consciousness. Holy Mother of God, I'm cold, my wrists and ankles hurt, I'm outdoors in the woods illuminated by torches and surrounded in a semi-circle of bare-footed figures in ankle long brown robes and black hoods. I was cold because I was naked and my limbs hurt because I was suspended on a cross, not a 'T' cross but an 'X' cross. I certainly know some kinky, fucked-up people. "Zane," a modulated voice addressed me, "you are on trial before Kappa Sigma for your treatment of one of our sisters. You have abused the trust of one sister by seeking romantic relations with another. What do you have to say for yourself?" "If the question is that I had relations with Leigh, then had a similar encounter with Paris, then I confess. In my defense, I never sought to deceive either one and will make amends if permitted," I promised. "Sisters, we have heard his defense. Will any of you vote in his behalf?" she intoned. No one stepped forward. "Zane, we will give you one chance to save yourself. If you fail, you will be shaved bald and painted in a permanent purple dye." I assume that means seven days on human skin. "If you can pick out the woman you have wronged, beg her forgiveness, and are forgiven, you will go free." I was getting pretty nervous since they were all totally covered except for their toes when the 'leader' nodded and the girls all opened their robes to reveal string bikinis in a variety of colors. Their faces were still covered, though that wasn't really a problem for me anymore. "Choose Leigh and Paris, beg their forgiveness, and you may be pardoned," the 'leader' commanded. "That's not fair," I answered right back, "because they are not before me now." "Think carefully," the girl with the modulated voice cautioned me. "No, seriously; I'm looking at Josephine, Maria, Cynthia, Sarah, Ferrara, Petra, Yvette, Tawny, Jersey, and Monique," I named them left to right. "What?" Sarah gasped to her assembled sisters. "Do we have name tags on?" Behind me, I heard snickers turn into giggles, Leigh and Paris. Tawny stepped forward. "How did you know?" she inquired, clearly not the girl with the modulated voice. "Ah, Josephine has a birthmark on her ankle, Maria has the darkest skin tone, and Cynthia's breasts don't angle down the middle or to the side but somewhere in the middle." "Sarah has slender thighs and her calves curve just so below the knee; Ferrara always paints her nails in these crazy patterns; Petra scrapped her knee backpacking two weekends ago; Yvette, has that tattoo over her right nipple; Tawny, you have a slender neck, a, 38C chest, and a strong swell from your waist to your hips; Jersey is the tallest and has that scar she got in a boating accident in high school; and finally, Monique has the perkiest nipples and the most slender calves," I recited. Man, even the crickets went quiet after that. "Zane, did anyone help you with this test?" Tawny finally asked. "Nope." "How could they?" Leigh came to my defense. "You didn't make the line-up until thirty minutes ago." "Jersey, go check his phone log," Tawny directed her sister. "I'm getting really cold," I whispered to Leigh. She looked from my eyes to my waist with sympathy. Jersey walked out of the light but quickly returned with my phone. "His last call was at 2:10 p.m. but he did have a data download at 6:45, it seems to be a bunch of women's names and phone numbers," Jersey relayed the information to them. "It is my church group, I swear. Honestly, they are all married women in the Festivities Committee that bastard of a pastor assigned me to," I pleaded. "No phone calls?" Tawny persisted. "No phone calls," Jersey confirmed. "Okay, Zane, how did you know who we were with our faces concealed?" Tawny wondered. "Is that a serious question?" The deafening pause was its own answer. "You are women; I pay attention to women and to me, each female form is as exacting as a fingerprint. Until now I thought all of this was a joke," I related. "I mean, if you wanted to scare me, you would have given me something difficult to figure out." "And you picked all this up at one party?" Tawny sounded bewildered. "Have I mentioned how much I like women?" I reminded her. "But you brought twenty women with you; you always had a woman by your side. How?" Tawny still struggled to understand. "I repeat: have I mentioned how much I like women? I see nothing wrong with being with one woman and looking at others, but I believe it is wrong to be with one woman and thinking about someone else," I explained. "You should always appreciate the one you are with." "Umm, does any sister believe Zane has earned a reprieve?" For two seconds no one reacted, then Jersey stepped forward. "He knew about my scar," was her excuse. Five more stepped forward right after that and all had done so by the tenth second. "Very well Zane, you are forgiven," Tawny announced. Yay, me! "But I have one other issue to address. Zane, I can't have you cutting a swath through my girls so I'm going to demand that you stick to one and only one Kappa Sigma per semester." I stared at her until she finally had to question me. "What?" "I wish you would stop treating me like a child," I chuckled. "What makes you think I'm not being serious?" Tawny growled. "We've kissed. You can tell a lot about a person in the way they kiss, and you are very caring and thoughtful," I told her. "Why would I be out here in the woods naked if I didn't trust you?" "You kissed him!" yelped Leigh. Tawny smirked as she looked at her. "You left me alone with a naked Zane in your room; he looked cold and lonely," she told Leigh. I was cold and lonely because Tawny tossed Leigh out of her own room and then wouldn't let me get dressed, but only Tawny, Christina, and I knew that. "Besides, Zane, you are naked in these woods because we tricked you into our house and spiked your drink," Tawny pointed out. "Ah, but would I have been dumb enough to take that drink if I hadn't first trusted you enough to show up, wait, that didn't come out right," I mumbled. "Are you agreeing to my terms?" Tawny teased. "Nope. I prefer to hold to the illusion I'm living in the Free World," I declared. "You can certainly tell your sisters what to do because they volunteered for this but I only hang out here because all of you have been so nice to me. If I've been a poor guest, I'll just leave, because I'm not going to pretend I like one sister less than another." "Zane, you are deep in the woods, tied to a cross, and the only people who know you are here are all bound by Sacred Oaths of Sisterhood, Blood, and Secrecy," Tawny stated sweetly, as she came up and stroked my cheek. "You aren't in the best place to be dumping us." "Good point," I agreed defiantly. "Maybe I should wait to get on my high horse when I can actually get on a high horse, but I'm still not going to take it back." "We could always keep him in our secret basement," Monique suggested. When everyone looked at her she added, "Hey, he liked my nipples. Finding a guy who is good with nipples isn't as easy as you would think." Huh, what? I had a definite feeling I was losing control of events. "You have a secret basement?" I gulped. "I didn't know you had a secret basement." "Well, duh," Paris snickered. "It wouldn't be much of a secret if you knew about it." "We are not keeping Zane chained up for our amusement," Tawny warned the girls. "We specifically changed the Charter back in '02 so that we can no longer keep men on the premises for more than forty-eight hours." Yay? "We also can't leave him here," Tawny continued. "I'm sure Christina will have search parties out looking for you before sunrise." "I'll stay out here and stand guard over him," Leigh volunteered. "No," Tawny scolded Leigh. "We can't let him get fucked to death either." Leigh looked truly heartbroken. "I think we have to let Zane get off this time," Tawny sighed. "I was trying to get him off," Leigh grumbled. "Give it a rest, Leigh," Tawny demanded. "Paris, give our guest something to drink so we can wrap this up." Paris disappeared behind me, then reappeared with a glass of water. "Drink up," she smiled beatifically. "Just promise me I'm not going to wake up in some landfill or tied to a lamppost somewhere public," I groaned. "Drink it down right now and you might wake up next to me," Tawny challenged. Needless to say, I drank and quickly, because I'm an idiot who keeps too much blood in the wrong head. When I woke up, I was back in the Sorority house with a different sweet pledge smiling at me and that smell of ammonia in my nostrils. She handed me a folded piece of paper. I said 'you MIGHT wake up next to me' the paper read. 'P.S. See you and the Ladies at our Halloween Bash.' "What's your name?" I asked the pledge. This time the home was filled with the noises of occupancy. "Larissa," she giggled. "So, are you Leigh's boyfriend?" "Ah, no; I'm community property; the other sisters hand me around like a box of chocolates," I joked. "Really! That is so great," she bubbled with excitement. "I can't wait until I get initiated. I want you to make me scream the way you had Leigh singing." Does no one get my jokes? "Larissa, I am sure you will pass your initiation, no sweat," I told her as I stood up, feeling a bit drunk. Larissa walked with me to the door and gave me a quick peck on the cheek as I turned to head for my car. I made it to campus with seconds to spare. The crawl up to the Solarium was done in relative quiet, though Barbie Lynn decided to sample my tonsils before letting me up. Not two steps inside the door my phone rang. "Hello, is this Zane Braxton?" this familiar voice greeted me. "That would be me. What can I do for you this night?" I responded. "This is Felicity Tolliver. I wanted you to know that I had dinner with Rochelle Wellington tonight and I think having you on her committee has really improved her mood," she informed me. I reached the top of the landing and nearly dropped the phone. Iona sat nervously on my bed, which she had made up because I never do it that well. She was wearing lingerie that definitely made her whole form much more feminine. "Felicity, Rochelle and I talked mostly, plus I showed her some techniques to help alleviate stress," I related, "but you can tell her it was a pleasure to work with such a vibrant and beautiful woman. You two are a lot alike." There was a pause, then, "I'll tell her that," Felicity said. "I will be at my home in case she needs something this weekend. I would like to see both of you, as would my Aunt," I offered. "That would be nice," she sounded upbeat. "We could also discuss getting some FFU girls coming over to your place and the workshops you could teach on campus in October and November," I suggested. "That sounds great too," Felicity agreed. "I would like to spend some time at FFU and having some girls know where Lance's house is would be nice. When do you want to meet?" "How about after dinner, say 8:00 o'clock?" I suggested. "You can bring Lance." "After dinner is fine but Lance has a church workshop on Saturday nights," Felicity sighed. Oh hell, does this woman even get taken to first base? "He's always so busy with his fraternity at school, the Young Christian Men's Republican caucus, and the Christian Men's League at church." Does this guy spend any time with women at all? "Consider it a date," I replied. "Now I have a very good reason to go to bed, so good night." "Good night," she parted in a friendly manner, which allowed me to hang up and start undressing as I approached the bed. I looked down at my bed buddy once I'd stripped down to nothing. "You look lovely, Iona," I greeted her. "What do you want to do?" "I'll do whatever you want," Iona said with a tremor in her voice, looking down at her lap. She looked stunning in her burgundy bra and panties, which were far more lace than substance. I felt the hand of, Christina (?) in all this. "Thank you, Iona. What I really want is to lie down, you beside me so that I can look into your eyes and gently trace lines along your body, and then I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. That's what I really want." "Really?" she perked up in surprise and relief. I crawled under the covers, holding them open so she could join me. "I like this a lot," she murmured, as she settled in at my side, snug in the covers. I shifted to my side and cupped her chin before exchanging several soft kisses with her. Afterwards, I did as I told her I would; my hand caressed her body, avoiding nipples and cunt but doing my best to get everywhere else. I elicited sensual moans and ticklish giggles. When I had forced her to push me off so she could catch her breath, I felt I had given Iona what she wanted, and more importantly, what she could live with. I sat back and stared at the Moon through my glass roof. Iona's smiling face slowly invaded my view. "I give up, Iona," I pleaded. "Right now I want some sleep." "That's okay. I will sit here and watch over you," she sighed. "That's, that's a little creepy, actually," I confessed. "I've watched all of the Twilight movies so I know what secretive romances are all about," Iona explained. Unfortunately, I knew little of the Twilight series of movies. I knew it involved vampires and werewolves and some chick named Bella but I'd never actually seen any of that. Had I known it involved a 100-year-old vampire breaking into some teenager's room and staring down at her while she slept, I would have been much more concerned, but for now I went to sleep. A lesson in why I shouldn t get out of bed in the morning. I woke up to every heterosexual teenage boy's second favorite dream (the first being a morning blowjob) of a perfume-scented head resting on each shoulder as you wake. There were the tiny complications of only having gone to bed with one woman and that, by their breathing, I could tell they were both awake. "Good morning," I said cautiously; technically morning since it was 5:00 a.m. "Good morning, Zane," Iona and Barbie Lynn greeted me. They both ran hands over my chest, though they gave a sudden jolt when their hands touched. I had one arm around Iona and I used that to give her a hug. My other arm was pinned by my side by Barbie Lynn's body. I gave Barbie's thigh a squeeze and she wiggled in response. "Okay, Barbie Lynn, this is Iona's night, so what are you doing here?" I scolded my blonde nymph. "I'm sorry," Barbie demurred then looked to Iona and repeated the "I'm sorry." "I understand," Iona replied, hesitating before saying after further introspection as she snuggled in, "I want to wake up this way every morning too. I like the way he smells and the way he makes me feel all warm inside, and now you owe me a night, to be shared," she stated hopefully. "One of these days I'm going to get a say in how I spend my free time," I griped. Iona looked hurt but Barbie Lynn merely sneered. "Don't you worry none, Iona. Zane, if you could wake up next to myself and Iona tomorrow morning, would you?" she drawled like sweet molasses. "Yes," I grumbled petulantly, "but I'd still like to talk about it." "Trust us, Suga, we know what's best for you and what you want. Just let us girls take care of you and you take care of all the Man Stuff." "We'll take good care of you," Iona dog-piled on, but in a nice way. "If it makes you feel better, you can punish us," Barbie Lynn offered. "We've been bad." "Huh?" Iona and I questioned. Barbie flipped over and wiggled her ass against me. "Good point. You two get to the foot of the bed, facing away from me, now!" I demanded. "Why me?" Iona honestly worried. "What did I do wrong?" "Do it, Iona. This is virtually a rite of passage," Barbie Lynn lied to her. "No, it is not, and if you don't want to do it, you don't have to," I told her. She didn't know what I was going to do and she clearly was scared, but when Barbie Lynn crawled out from under the covers and moved to the foot of the bed, resting on all fours, ass toward me, she followed suit. "If Barbie Lynn is going to do this," she muttered, "then so am I." I followed them, positioning myself between their calves and massaging their ass cheeks lightly. Barbie shifted back and forth in anticipation; Iona couldn't de-tense. Smack! "Oh, Yes!" Barbie Lynn yelped, then playfully wiggled her other, unmarked cheek within reach. "I've been really bad!" she chirped cheerfully. "No! Bad Girl," I shook my finger at her. "I'm starting to believe you aren't learning your lesson." We both knew that spanking Barbie was like throwing gasoline on a fire. Unfortunately, my purpose right now was to get them both back to their rooms, not work off my morning arousal. I moved behind Iona and forced her legs apart. She was clearly uncomfortable when I put a hand on each hip and slowly rocked her back and forth. Barbie Lynn sat back and watched with an enchanting glow highlighting her features; clever, intuitive, and lovely all at once. I settled my body onto Iona's back, my hard-on pressing into her ass cleft and one hand rubbing her stomach. "Zane?" Iona whispered in a scared little girl voice. "Yes," I answered, while kissing her along her shoulder ridge. "You, you didn't do this to Barbie Lynn," she choked out. "Do you want me to treat you as if you were another woman?" I continued, brushing her hair to one side so I could tease her neck with my lips. That got her to finally relax. "No," she gasped. "Iona, you explaining sex to Zane is like a bobcat telling a wolf how to hunt deer," Barbie Lynn teased Iona. "He gets to know you, what you like, and what you want, even if you don't know what that is." I spent another two minutes giving Iona a sensual massage, rubbing her upper arms, down along her sides, then tracing the lines of her panties before finishing with her inner thighs. Smack! "Oh," Iona gasped from the light impact. "Why didn't you spank me as hard as you spanked Barbie Lynn?" she wondered. "Did you want me to leave a handprint on your ass?" I asked. "No, I guess not," Iona admitted. "Can you answer me something?" "I'll try," I replied. "Why do you have those marks on your wrists and ankles?" She inquired. The room was dark so Barbie Lynn hadn't seen my little gift from the Kappa Sig's until Iona showed her what to look for. "Zane?" Barbie Lynn demanded to know, her persona going from sensual lover to protective Dorm Mother. "Let's not get into this right now," I sighed. They looked past me to one another but thankfully respected the peace I had requested. Had they not left together, huddled in quiet conversation, I would have been happier, but I had to be satisfied with fifteen more minutes of sleep instead. By the time I made it to the shower, everyone already knew not to ask, they were already seeking answers on their own. Getting to breakfast involved a play-debate where I had to be the 'Bad Guy,' aka the Liberal, Baby-killing, Godless Democrat, while my mistress of the moment was the heroic Republican. I graciously allowed her to trounce me, to the cheers of my fellow classmates, when I declared that all churches should be converted to homes for unwed mothers and that church-endorsed marriage should be banned for not accepting homosexuality. Did I know my audience or what? Never a Simple Morning I love women, even though they will surely be the death of me. Case in point: breakfast. I'm about to sit down with my normal companions (Rio and Iona) when a blur shoves Rio aside and takes a seat next to me. "Zane, I've been going over the books in the school library and some, Raven began. "Bitch, you did not just bump me and steal my seat," Rio seethed. Raven looked over her shoulder at Rio. "We are not in kindergarten anymore. Grown-ups chose their own seat," Raven lectured. "Wait!" I cried out to forestall Rio's pelting Raven with the contents of her food tray. Rio gave me barely enough time to twist my tray sideways, half-stand, and pull the Hellion onto my lap. I wouldn't displace Iona and that was the only place in this section of the table for her to sit. "Nice hood ornament," Raven smirked. "You and me are far from done," Rio snarled. "What, you don't know what 'ornament' means so you opt for something out of 'Goodfellas'?" Raven taunted. "Stop!" I barked. "Rio, Raven, Raven, Rio; Rio is my twin-soul and Raven is going to help me get through English this semester so for my sake, would you both please play nice?" Neither girl would budge so I took the initiative. "Raven, I think we can get access to the libraries at UV and George Mason; I'm sure they have tons more material for us to use," I offered. "How are you going to manage that?" Raven was skeptical. "Yeah, Brainiac," Rio parroted. "How are you going to do that?" "I'll have one of the Sorority sisters help me with UV and we'll have Iona hack Lance Wellington's password from his phone," I explained. "That will get us into Mason." "Only an idiot would store their password on a portable storage device," Raven stated with confidence. "Someone smart enough to get into George Mason wouldn't do that." "Ha, ha, ha," Rio laughed. "Raven, there are smarts, then there are real smarts. Any knucklehead can crack some books and get into a law school but it takes an adult to know when the rules do and don't apply." "That makes no sense," Raven stated with authority. "Raven, would you even consider trying to access UV or George Mason?" I asked. "No," she admitted, "because we don't go there." "Men build fortresses to be impregnable; God inspires men to storm them anyway," I replied. "Which translates as, 'if Zane says he's going to get something for you, he'll do it," Rio said. "Okay," Raven mulled it over, then, "So, Zane, how did you get those rope burns on your wrists?" "Yeah, Zane, how did you get those marks on your wrists and ankles?" Rio inquired devilishly. I stole an accusatory look at Iona for ratting me out about my ankles. "I went over to the Kappa Sigma

Horny Report
Horny Report 405

Horny Report

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2025 131:09


Guruu Maa, Banquete JuchOrco, El Ponchis, Pukis Viricos, Nadadores anglos, Ojos Missisipi, Report Atacado, Sharia Prudential, Hacker Ionut, Mano Sanxe, RecontraHarram Festival, Roketa siberiana, Mearra Clasista, Ciro Naranja y mucho más.

5 Day Rentals
KRON'S KRYPT - HORNY w/ Greg Anderson from Weekly Podcast Massacre

5 Day Rentals

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2025 124:17


The crypt is getting hot and steamy. Greg and the Dirty Dudes get all worked up for two horny tales... LOVED TO DEATH - S03E01 SPLIT SECOND - S03E11 LISTEN TO WEEKLY PODCAST MASSACRE https://open.spotify.com/show/2hu8lBrlcHam0s4zxxIvig?si=744da9004ca54b01 JOIN THE DISCORD https://discord.gg/z2r7pcrB QUESTIONS? EMAIL US AT 5dayrentalspodcast@gmail.com Theme by Dkrefft https://open.spotify.com/artist/1yxWXpxlqLE4tjoivvU6XL Sounds effects provided by  freesound.org & zapsplat.com  

Random Number Generator Horror Podcast No. 9
290 - Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) w/Symphony Sanders

Random Number Generator Horror Podcast No. 9

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2025 114:56


Horny vampires and nonspecific accents galore Special Guest: Symphony Sanders Approachability: 7/10 (Bloody Hollywood epic; Not scary so much as monster-y) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Suicide; Child death; Animal death; Jump scares Next Week's Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon YouTube, Bluesky, Letterboxd, & Instagram: @RandomHorror9 We are part of Night Vale Presents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Babylon Podject
S4E63 - A Mirror Universe episode but not horny*

The Babylon Podject

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2025 52:17


Episode Notes *Except for Garak Star Trek horror episodes have two modes: worse than the cave set, or unbelievably good. Cardassians do not believe in Right to Repair. These redshirts are VERY redshirt. Some board game hot takes. Genre-awareness in redshirts. Super-racism drug? Nog's great. Garak, but turned up to 11. The ethics of improvised space slurs. The qualities of horror and the cast's opinions. BabSpace9 is a production of the Okay, So network. Connect with the show at @babylonpod.page Help us keep the lights on via our Patreon! Justen can be found at @justen.babylonpod.page Ana can be found at @ana.babylonpod.page, and also made our show art. Both Ana and Justen can also be found on The Compleat Discography, a Discworld re-read podcast. Jude Vais can be found at @jude.athrabeth.com. His other work can be found at Athrabeth - a Tolkien Podcast and at Garbage of the Five Rings. Clips from the original show remain copyrighted by Paramount Entertainment and are used under the Fair Use doctrine. Music attribution: Original reworking of the Deep Space 9 theme by audioquinn, who stresses that this particular war crime is not their fault. This show is edited and produced by Aaron Olson, who can be found at @aaron.compleatdiscography.page Find out more at http://babylonpod.page

Portfolio Checklist
A vámháború szülte a tőzsdék új kedvencét – itt a beszálló?

Portfolio Checklist

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2025 23:39


A kialakult ritkaföldfém őrületről volt szó: arról, hogy miért került fókuszba most a jövő iparágainak fontos alapanyaga, és hogyan lehet ezt lekereskedni befektetőként. A témában Mohos Kristóf, a Portfolio Részvény rovatának elemzője volt a vendégünk. Az adás második részében arról volt szó, hogyan történhet meg, hogy miközben az átlagbér évről évre növekedik az országban, a munkavállalók egyharmadának reálértéken csökken a fizetése. A témában Hornyák József, a Portfolio makrogazdasági elemzője volt a vendégünk. Főbb részek: Intro – (00:00) Ritkaföldfémek – (01:30) Bérek – (14:52) Kép forrása: Getty ImagesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bar and Restaurant Podcast :by The DELO
Aunt Chilada's Legacy, Scratch Kitchen Roots & AZ's First Liquor License with Tiffany | Ep. 182

Bar and Restaurant Podcast :by The DELO

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2025 45:17


Step into a true Arizona story on ‘On the Delo' as Delo sits with Tiffany from Aunt Chiladas, the Original—a nine-generation, family-run fixture founded in 1890 and holder of Arizona's first issued liquor license—to talk legacy, community, and running a real scratch kitchen without cutting corners.From miners and trading-post roots to 3,000 railroad ties, multi-decade regulars, and a sister restaurant tie-in with Rustler's Roost (yes, “Horny the bull” makes an appearance), this episode is for anyone who values hospitality done the old-school way—quality ingredients, generous leadership, and showing up for your people.Chapter Guide (Timestamps): (0:13 - 1:05) Early Start & Fuel: 9am pod, 18:6 fast, and welcomes. (2:00 - 2:25) “Home Base”: Why the neighborhood keeps coming back. (2:28 - 3:01) Since 1890 + First AZ Liquor License: Roots and rights that lasted. (3:05 - 4:17) From Trading Post to Family Stewardship: Multi-generation ownership and a resilient dad. (14:51 - 15:39) One Iconic Location; Sister Ties: Base of Piestewa Peak and Rustler's Roost (“Horny”). (15:45 - 16:59) The Ghost “Parent”: TVs flip, music changes—then back again. (20:03 - 22:05) Health Shift: Mocktails, moderation, and changing habits. (22:05 - 23:49) The Business Reality: Economy, to-go surge, and best-sellers. (32:40 - 33:28) 7am Kitchens & 100% Scratch: Standardized recipes; nothing phoned in. (31:50 - 32:12) Salsa De Oliva & Chip Pairings: House favorites and fideo's Yelp saga. (36:17 - 37:08) Tip Fatigue & Kiosks: Where gratuity makes sense—and where it doesn't.

ExplicitNovels
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 3

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2025


Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 3 Handmaiden Traditions In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             Pain is either not knowing what it is or forgetting what it was       "Okay," I choked. "I only wanted one of you bitches up here tonight so Heaven can stay but the rest of you have to go." No one responded instantly. "You don't tell me what to do, freshman," Heaven said as she smacked me across my thigh. "Christina, let's get out of here; I feel like getting something to eat, something else that is," she told the Queen. In the time it took Heaven to gather her clothes and get dressed, the group was gone, and I was left wondering what the hell I'd stepped into. I figured one guy and nine hundred girls, and I'd be living the dream. Only an idiot would have assumed there would be no existing power structure, competing sexual desires, or people less than happy with my cleverness. Suddenly, having to survive three more days to the weekend seemed too much to ask. Fighting for the Weekend. I was slumped down on the floor against the wall when an expensive pair of shoes came at me. Since my stomach and left side were well acquainted with pain already I chose to block with both arms which hurt a little bit less. This unnamed assailant pivoted back for another kick when Heaven grabbed him by the back of the neck and slammed his head into a picture above my head. He dropped like the sack of shit that I'm sure he was. I was struggling up when Cappadocia grabbed my wrist and helped me stand. Three more guys stood between us and the bathroom door, outside of which a battle of the sexes was starting to be waged; FFU vs. AKA fraternity. You may be wondering how I ended up here; I sure am. (I promise this will all make sense eventually) Starting in the Past The light tapping on my door broke my oral attention on Barbie Lynn's right nipple. I kept frigging her with two fingers in her cunt while I caught a quick look at the time. It was twelve-ten in the morning. Who the hell? "I need to check this out," I warned Barbie. "What?" she wondered. "What's going on?" "There is someone at the door and I think I know who it is. I'll be right back," I explained. Barbie looked apprehensive for obvious reasons. I grabbed a robe and headed down to the door as there was a second rap at the door. I swung the door open and there stood Rio. "Hey, Bitch, are you going to make me wait out here or what?" she teased me. I stood aside and followed her back to my bedroom. Barbie had disappeared under the quilt and covers but I was careful to not sit on her when I flopped onto the bed. "What can I do for you?" I inquired of Rio. "Keep it holstered, Cowboy," Rio laughed. "Save that python for your playmate Barbie. Do remind her that if she rides you too rough, she can break it off." "I'll have you know she's the most gentle and sensitive woman I've ever known," I countered with a grin of my own. "Really?" she asked speculatively. "Really," I affirmed. "In that case, maybe you can give her to me for an evening. I'd like to play with her; you know, a little light bondage, spanking, and a dildo, vibrator or three," she asked suggestively. "Is that all?" I asked. "Of course, I'd put those succulent lips to good use and I bet her tongue is to die for. I'd also love to chew on those massive titties, bite her and mark her as my own," Rio added. "If she moans like enough of a slut, I'll even eat her out too." "If it somehow comes up in casual conversation I'll let her know," I promised, while at the same time I resolved to actually have a decent hiding place when I fixed things up. "Don't do that," Rio insisted. "I'd rather kidnap her, blindfolded, so that I can take her to a bar and hand her around like a party favor." "That's kind of cold," I cautioned her. "What about her virginity?" "There are all kinds of chastity belts I can fit her with that leave her mouth and ass free," Rio regaled me. I really had no idea but I didn't doubt it existed. "Isn't that a bit harsh? What has Barbie Lynn ever done to you?" I was curious to know. "Barbie Lynn, she is a girl in need of a good, hard fucking, regularly and repeatedly" She grinned like she was a female Loki, Goddess of Mischief. "If you think so, I guess I could tie her up and leave her for you, bound and gagged in the trunk of my car. I'm sure when you get to the bar you'll find some big strong men to take her out for you," I outlined the plan. Rio desperately fought down her giggles. "Well, that's given me some pleasant images to get to bed with," Rio came over and kissed me on the cheek. "Give me that sleeping bag and I'll catch some Zees." "Sure, no problem. You know how I snore so if you hear any noise coming from my bed, just ignore it," I winked. "Okay. As long as nothing touches the floor, I'll be fine," she assured me. "What happens if something touches the floor?" I had to ask. It was getting downright hilarious. "I scream like a banshee. I was molested by a Chihuahua when I was young and I've never gotten over it," Rio snickered. "I will keep all my bits up on the bed, then. Now, get squared away so we can get some sleep," I grinned. Rio laid out my sleeping bag below the footboard and climbed inside. "Good night, Zane," Rio yawned as I cut off the light. "Good night, Rio," I replied. "Good night, Barbie Lynn," Rio giggled. There was a long pause as a naked Barbie tensed up, then wiggled up from beneath the bed coverings. She looked at me curiously then crawled down on all fours to the foot of the bed. I was momentarily paralyzed by the look of Barbie's entire rearview cast in the pale moonlight. "How did you know I was here?" Barbie Lynn questioned Rio. "Unless Zane started sleeping with fifty pounds of extra bedding, there was someone under the covers with him; then it was a matter of figuring out who was the sexiest upperclassman who would take the risk," Rio explained. "So this whole talk about kidnapping me and taking me to a bar was meant to scare me?" Barbie accused Rio, who snickered yet again. "Tell me, Barbie, did that get you hot or what? Be honest now," Rio challenged her. Barbie Lynn flushed furiously and looked over her shoulder at me, trying to gauge her words to my reaction. I moved up behind her, kissing from the small of her back then forward while my hand rubbed along her ass and flanks. She kept her eyes on me until my hand cupped her sex, at which point her eyes shut and her breathing increased. "Oh, Barbie Lynn sighed as she let her legs part and her cunt went from damp to dripping. "If Zane was with me, I'd feel safe," Barbie stammered nervously. "He'd not let anything bad happen to me, but I'd like to, just a little." I'd never tied a girl up before now, I'd never really wanted to, but taking in all of Barbie right at the moment, I made a note of consorting with my sorority friends about what to use when the opportunity presented itself. Two fingers in, two fingers out, two fingers in, two fingers out, one finger in her cunt and one in her ass. Barbie shuddered deliciously. "You two fuck your brains out," grumbled Rio. "I'll lie here and try to get some sleep." "Good, good, good luck with that," panted Barbie Lynn, "I'm a real screamer," and she really was. "I swear, if one more girl had climbed into that shower with you, I was going to tape on a stun gun in the on setting and toss it in," Rio joked. "A, you don't have a stun gun, and B, the floor was so wet you would have stunned yourself too," I pointed out. "Threaten me not with logic, dumbass," Rio chuckled. "Fine. Not that I mind your company but, don't you have to get dressed?" I groaned. "Do you think anyone would notice if I went to class naked today?" Rio wondered. "Notice, yes; make you the target of a direct-to-video lesbian gangbang porn flick, yes too," I taunted her. "Damn it, Zane," Rio squawked, "you've tapped into my secret fantasy!" "Save it for your creative writing assignment in English class," I nudged her. "Now seriously, I need to get dressed and so do you." Rio's exaggerated frown only made me chuckle harder but I did manage to shush her out. I sang my way to breakfast, literally. The latest demand of my Handmaiden's Duty was a rendition of 'Call Me Maybe' which garnered us quite an audience if not accolades for my proficiency. Rio tried to record me on her phone but an observant junior picked Rio for a piggy back ride. Iona hovered closely to Barbie Lynn again, which kept her safe. Christina snatched us on the way to Assembly. One look told me things had gone horribly wrong but I didn't know why. She picked me and when I protested (a junior named Sybil had pre-ordered my services) Heaven grabbed Iona as a clear threat to me. Chastity hijacked Rio before she could throw her food tray on Christina's head but I admired my buddy's fanaticism and loyalty. "I'm with Sybil," I tried to explain, but that girl did a quick disappearing act. "Okay, then, what do you want me to do?" "We seem to have this little disagreement about you thinking you can dictate my behavior," she smiled sweetly, "so I'm going to be monopolizing your time for the rest of the semester." Iona groaned and I was afraid Rio would do something stupid. "Zane, I want you to carry my books to my next class," which didn't sound too bad but, "on your knees," she gloated, "but I'll, " "You conceited bitch!" snapped Rio. "Stop it!" I growled back to Rio angrily enough to stop her. "This is what they want." "Hmm, Christina contemplated, "I was going to allow you to crawl on the grass but now I think you will do it on the walkway." Crawling all that way on bricks would be painful to say the least. "Now I think we'll have Rio do it," she continued. I waved Rio to silence. "As I remember you have this noble streak so I'm going to give you the option of you traveling on the bricks or letting Rio do it." It was some horrible sick joke and I knew the results before I spoke. "I'll do it," I answered, but again, I knew it was useless. "Agreed," Christina handed me her book bag while Heaven did the same to Rio, "Rio can take the walkway and I'll let you take the grass." She waited for my response. "What; no repose? No protests? No rants?" she questioned. "That's not where my mind is at, Christina. You just keep digging a deeper hole. I'll bury you in it; how you crawl back out is your business," I shrugged. "I understand, Zane. Faith, give your books to Iona. She can share the walkway with Rio," Christina ordered. Again I had to stop Rio from erupting; there was nothing I could do. We were boned in this bizarre institution's humiliating ritual. "Zane will take the walkway on his knees, Rio can do the same on the grass, and Iona can carry the rest of our books," Chastity announced out of the blue. "Chastity?" Christina questioned her rebellious minion. "They get the point," Chastity suggested. "I'm with Chastity," Hope declared. "I'll explain when we get outside," Chastity all but begged. I had to scratch megalomania off my list of possible character flaws of Christina; she motioned our little troupe to proceed and made no protests when we freshmen took up our duties. Rio and I had to cover two hundred feet on our knees; I flashed Rio a vicious, confident grin. She grinned back and mouthed 'Fuck all the bitches,' which made me chuckle. "What is so funny?" growled Heaven. "Your skirt is caught in your underwear so every time you step left your skirt rides up," I lied convincingly. Heaven reached around and tried to straighten out the nonexistent problem. "Heaven, he's playing you," Hope intervened. Heaven's eyes rained fiery death down on me. "Who is digging themselves a deeper hole now?" Christina taunted me. "I accept that Heaven is going to get her due and I'm fine with that. Of course, when I finally bring you to your knees, I know that look on your face is going to be priceless," I glared back. "You are also not going to see Barbie Lynn outside of official business," Christina informed me. "I'll give your suggestion all the merit it deserves," I smiled. "That is not a suggestion, and if you do see her again, she will be expelled and a letter of explanation will be sent to her parents and fianc ," Christina said intently. That brought me up short. "I'm not going to mention you, Zane. She'll go down but you will remain scot free." "Why are you doing this to him?" Iona murmured. "He needs to learn his lesson," Faith whispered to her. "Oh," the normally timid freshman responded, "is that what this is? He is so going to own all of you if this is the best you've got." Hope burst out in laughter at the mouse's challenge. The ordeal was over for the period but resumed when class let out again. Iona's schedule was in shambles because Christina had let word get out that Rio and I were out of bounds for anyone else in the school. By the time I went to Archery, my slacks were torn and my knees were bleeding. Chastity did what she could do as my Team Captain but then I was back on my knees heading to Karate. In an abstract way my teammates in Karate knew what was happening to me but when they saw that I could barely move without wincing in pain, they became conflicted. Coach Dana was nice enough to offer to take me to the Chancellor so I could quit and end my suffering. I opted for letting my teammates in the second squad beat me up instead. The only hard part about my dinner plans was the reality that I was the only boy on campus. No one would confuse me with any other student so sneaking off to my dorm was impossible. The answer to my dilemma should have been obvious to Christina, glaring obvious. As it was, I had to get Christina's reaction secondhand as Rio, Iona, and I were cruising into town in my car with civilian clothes helpfully provided by my secret ally. Rio groaned sarcastically when we arrived at our destination where Iona clapped her hands in glee. My argument was that everyone liked ice cream and, while Rio declared the whole endeavor to be juvenile, that didn't stop her from ordering three scopes with whipped cream and sprinkles. I was paying for our outing when three girls walked in. "Zane?" the third girl asked. I took her in only long enough to know she looked better in a swim suit. "Hey, Leigh," I grinned. "You look even better with clothes on." Leigh gave a hearty laugh while her companions tried to make sense of the situation. "The Zane?" the lead woman inquired. I looked at her quizzically. "Zane, our next door neighbor?" How had I suddenly become famous enough to earn a 'The' in front of my name? "Sure, that's me. I've been at school but that's my house," I responded. "This is Tawny Flores, our chapter President, and my sister Ricky Frasier," Leigh said. "Rio Talon, my ex-roommate, and Iona Becket, my cohort in crime," I offered. "Sorority chicks? Seriously, Zane, you need to start raising the bar on the quality of women you hang out with," joked Rio. That went over like a lead balloon. "Your girlfriend is a bit jealous," Leigh broke the silence. "I'm not his girlfriend," Rio grinned viciously. "I prefer boys who've reached puberty." "Tawny, Ricky, and Leigh, I apologize for Rio. We've had some issues with upperclassmen all day long and it has left some of us crankier than others," I said. "Things can be rough for freshmen; we understand," Tawny allowed as she eyed me speculatively. "How about I buy you all some cones?" I offered in return. "We are not here for ice cream, or ice cream in cones," Leigh explained. "We have a party Saturday night, our first of the semester, and we need to place an order for a few gallons." "Cool. I hope you ladies have a blast," I nodded as I moved to join Rio and Iona, letting the sorority girls move to the counter and make their order. They eventually did get some cones and came our way. "Horny sluts at seven o'clock," whispered Rio as they approached me from the rear. "Zane," Tawny smiled down at me, "are you rushing a fraternity?" Rio snorted in derision. "Zane couldn't rush a fraternity," Rio explained. "It would tragically cut down on his time with all his girlfriends." The three older women gazed at me, looking for the punch line. "Here you go," Iona stated, holding up her phone to Tawny. "This is Barbie Lynn, Christina, Chastity, Brandi, Hope, Cappadocia, Opal, she continued to go down the list of women in my life as well as displaying their pictures. The ladies went from skeptical to confused to impressed. "You are sleeping with all these girls, in your first three days of school?" Leigh wondered. "No," Rio pre-empted, "he hasn't actually had sex with all of them. That's silly. The magic thing is how often he gets them to orgasm. What's your record, Zane?" "It is not a contest," I protested. "Oh, come on," Tawny urged me playfully. "Ugh, fine. Seven, but she's really sensitive and responsive, we mesh well," I answered. I'm not sure how many of them got past me saying the number '7'. "Are you going to be home this weekend?" Leigh inquired suddenly. "Planning on it," I replied. "Well, why don't you come by Saturday night, then," Tawny suggested, "unless you are afraid of a little competition." Seeing my uncertainty, she added, "We are having our brother fraternity Alpha Kappa Alpha over for the party. The guy/girl ratio should be two-to-one so I can't promise you any time." "Oh," I shrugged. "Do you want me to bring a friend or two?" "Sure," Tawny grinned, "but make sure to keep an eye on them. The boys of AKA are pretty aggressive." "I'll make sure to only bring the grown-ups," I laughed. We were all still chuckling when we broke up for the evening. I Love Pushing Boulders Uphill "Did you sleep well?" Christina greeted me. Since I'd been Barbie-free last night I had to frown. "Thanks for asking," I shrugged. "I slept like a baby. Honestly, I'd expected a little more creativity from you, not this simplistic jack-booted thuggery. Please try to keep my interest today if you can." "Ah, the smell of burning bitch-flesh," Rio giggled, unleashing her sadomasochistic impulses. Christina didn't rise to the bait. "Let's get some breakfast, on your knees you two," she commanded. Clearly their plan for us involved attrition. During breakfast the idea was to keep us apart, but they apparently forgot we'd all graduated kindergarten. We wandered around like loss little lambs and came to our collision from different angles. My only real worry was that Iona would chicken out since she had always been the good girl. She even sold the slip and spill well. This time Hope was the recipient of our hate and she looked quite fetching covered in grits, eggs, melons, and bacon. The miraculous thing was that the kitchen let us reload. Chastity almost dodged the bullet but we nailed her pretty good as well. As we headed out for our first class, Rio and I on our knees, she turned to me grinning like a maniac. "I am so looking forward to lunch," she told me. "Really? So am I. I'm going to get the soup," I chuckled. "Oh, soup. I like soup. I may get two bowls," Rio exulted. There wasn't time to warn Rio, I had to act, so I threw myself on Rio and took Heaven's kick to the ribs myself. "Heaven!" Christina shouted, but it was too late. I hurt like hell but I was damned if I was going to show it. Rio looked up at me and rapidly put together what had happened. Before she could explode I prodded her. "I hope the croutons in the salad are extra hard," I wheezed. "Zane," Rio whispered, worried about my well-being. "Give them nothing," I winked. "We know what low-life pieces of shit they are now. Give them nothing." Rio nodded and got back on her knees. "Zane, I'm sorry," Christina said softly. I looked up her and projected my most indifferent expression. "Can we get this over with? You bore me," I sneered at Christina. She snorted and shook her head. "Take my books to class, Zane," she commanded, and I headed off. They took Rio and Iona off in another direction. I was bleeding by the time I kneeled my way to lunch. Sadly, Team Christina was vigilant so we had to settle for a few bites sitting up against a wall before a Dorm Mother directed us to separate seats. We buried her in soup and crotons for her efforts, then apologized profusely. Doctor Burns chastised and lectured us about good Christian virtues. The senile old bastard almost let us go back for seconds but a different Dorm Mother pointed out the danger just in time. The craziest thing was that they let me go to Marksmanship because it wasn't like I wanted to climb up on the water tower and take pot shots with a high powered rifle at anyone; right? "Let me bandage your knees," Hope asked me. I looked to the rest of the class who couldn't bring themselves to meet my gaze, then laughed. "What is wrong with my knees?" I questioned. She pointed out the holes in my pants and the blood still oozing out of my torn flesh. "Really. I hadn't noticed," I winced as I moved to get my gear. "You could get infected," Hope insisted. "At what point do you think I lost faith in your capacity for compassion, Hope?" I sighed. "Let's get to work. Inside this class, you are the instructor; outside of this class, you sicken me." I actually did pretty well working wind drift and range-finding during the class and Hope gave me a mild compliment on my growing proficiency. I listened but said nothing. When the rest of the group dispersed, Hope held me back. Heaven was waiting to make me crawl to her class. "That was uncalled for," Hope insisted. "We are only doing what we have to do." "The failure of your courage is only eclipsed by your lack of principles, Hope," I verbally slapped her which only made her angrier. "Maybe you can put some weights in my back pack to make yourself feel better, or would you rather sow the sidewalk with salt?" If Hope was expecting me to back down, she was sorely disappointed. "So, are you going to get revenge on me too?" she mocked me. I looked mildly amused and insulted. "Hope, you aren't worth my vengeance. You don't matter to me. You are a tool, an obstacle, and nothing more and I have things that actually matter and I need to concentrate on so if you would please get out of my way, I believe Heaven wants to show me what an inhuman beast she can be." "You have to pay for that," Heaven growled at me as I struggled along on all fours to Orienteering. "Remember this moment, Heaven, because when I break Christina, she is going to be crying out your name and you aren't going to be able to do anything to help her, and after all she's done for you," I taunted her. That earned me two sharp kicks to the ribs to add to the one I'd already had. I picked myself up and continued on our way. Orienteering was brutal and I suffered a good deal of humiliation at Heaven's hands. I quietly took it. As if that wasn't enough, Heaven walked me to my study period and Faith took me to the Dining Hall. Rio looked pretty brutal and Iona had been crying but at least they'd been bandaged up. Ms. Goodswell came up to me in the dinner line. "You need to have someone look at those wounds. You could also use a fresh pair of pants." "There is nothing wrong with my knees," I said in a bland monotone. "You are bleeding into your socks, Zane," she informed me. I looked down and nodded. "Yes, that seems to be the case. Can I get my dinner now?" I inquired calmly. "No, Zane. Go to the Infirmary and get that taken care of," Ms. Goodswell insisted. "I invoke my right to refuse medical treatment due to religious convictions," I grinned. "Zane, you could develop permanent damage," Virginia warned me. "No. You hypocrites can cripple me if you like but you aren't pinning this on me. I don't recall wanting to walk anywhere on my knees. I'm not going to quit though; if you want to get rid of me, you will have to become more inventive than this," I told her. When she didn't reply I went back to my place in line. Christina tagged me heading toward the dorm. Chastity had Rio and Faith had Iona. "What do you think we'll have for breakfast?" Rio joked. "Keep quiet," Christina cautioned us. "I'm hoping for corned beef hash covered in ketchup," I responded. "I told you to be quiet," Christina ordered. "Which one of us are you talking to?" Rio teased. "I want milk and cereal," Iona suggested. "Quiet," Faith told Iona with a hand on her shoulder. They decided that we should be getting back to our rooms to study but the elevator wouldn't be necessary; we could take the stairs, on our knees. I wasn't sure Iona could make it; she was the shortest and weakest of us. But it turned out I needn't have bothered. We opened the door to the stairwell and there stood Barbie Lynn. "I've got it from here," she told Christina and company cheerfully. The idea that Barbie Lynn was here to save me was kind of funny. "That is not how it works," Christina informed her. "No, Christina, read the Handbook. My dorm, my rules, and my rules say that if you don't belong in my dorm, you can leave, now," Barbie Lynn countered with determination. "Don't do this, Barbie Lynn; they will expel you. You are hardly bulletproof," Christina warned Barbie. "At what point did we cease being the Israelites and become the Philistines?" Barbie answered. "If you do this I'll have to report you," Christina explained. "In thirty minutes you won't be Dorm Mother. Think about your future." "I am," Barbie Lynn stated. "Do I really want or deserve a future if I do nothing now? I don't think so." There was a pause, then, "Get out." Christina's gang turned and left, Chastity last of all. "Barbie Lynn, have his legs taken care of before his pride cuts him in half," she said meaningfully. Barbie nodded, then Chastity ran to catch up with the others. "Let's get you to your rooms before they come back," Barbie Lynn urged us. "Can we take the elevator? I'm not sure I can take all these stairs," I groaned. "Baby," snorted Rio, but I noted she was the first one to hobble for the elevator. Iona drew close to me, looking for some small comfort. "What are we going to do?" she whispered to me. "Rio and I are going to tough it out; we don't have any real options. You are going to be sick tomorrow and go to the Infirmary. After that, they should leave you alone as long as you avoid us," I told her. "No," Iona responded. "I can't leave the two of you alone here." "Get over yourself," mocked Rio. "You are slowing us down. Zane and I are hardcore bad-asses and you're nothing but a dweeb." That was Rio's way of saying 'I like you.' Iona began sobbing. "I'll take care of her as long as I can," Barbie Lynn frowned as she wrapped an arm around Iona. "Thanks for everything, Barbie Lynn. Sorry for dragging you down in all of this," I told my blonde dynamite. "Ha," she laughed. "I've had more fun, felt better, in the past four days than I've felt in the past three years here." "Man, that is so pathetic," choked Rio. "If my life was so damn boring, I'd have become a shit-faced drunk by now." I think that was Rio saying 'thank you' but I wasn't sure. We made our way to our rooms and wisely settled in for the night. Around eight-thirty Barbie came to my room and escorted me to the bathroom for my own 'safety'. "Thank you. What are you going to tell your family and fianc ?" I asked. Barbie Lynn shrugged. "Can I move in with your Aunt if things don't work out?" she countered. "Sure. Do you think it will come to that?" I answered. "Well, I'm definitely not marrying Jerome, that's for sure," she grinned. "He's about as interesting as a box of rocks and he's got a tiny cock ta' boot. Lord above, all he wants to do is work in his Daddy's bank and play golf while I stay home and make babies." "Umm, Barbie Lynn, I don't see us getting married so if I, I stammered. "Lord Jesus," Barbie laughed, "if I married you I'd have to convert to Islam because I'd need at least three other wives to keep up with you. You are fun, Zane, and you've never lied to me about anything." "Barbie Lynn, I've lied to you," I admitted shyly. "What about?" she questioned. "You know those tiny little grunting noises you make between orgasms?" Barbie Lynn blushed but nodded. "Well, I don't like them; I love them. In fact, last time I rushed you through one orgasm just so I could listen to those sounds." "You are a bad man," Barbie laughed musically. "I don't believe you." "Oh, so I'm going to have to prove myself, am I?" I gasped in mock protest. "I'm counting on it," she smiled seductively back at me. "When this nuttiness is over, I'll do that," I grinned. Barbie Lynn looked suddenly sad. "Is this going to end, in a good way?" she sighed. "Five-thirty tomorrow I'm in my car and driving out of here for the weekend. I'd like you to be with me," I told her. "I can't be gone all weekend long, Zane. I'm Dorm Mother," she explained. "How about Saturday night? I've made some plans," I hinted. "Hmm, okay, but how are you going to stop them from catching you if you come back? Escaping tomorrow is going to be tough enough," she pointed out. "I'll think of something," I sighed. What that was; I had no idea. When I got to the top of the stairs after my bathroom break I noticed Chastity and Hope waiting for me. I could have said 'what do you want?' but I decided on a softer approach. "What can I do for you, the two ladies most likely to kill at a distance, this fine evening?" "We came by to see if you, Iona, and Rio were doing okay," Chastity related to me. "How's Iona? I imagine Rio was less than cooperative," I responded. "Rio told us if we came in by the door we were leaving by the window," Hope informed me. "Iona is doing okay physically but she's beaten up on the inside." "She says you threw her out of your little club," Chastity went fishing for confirmation. "Yes, she's out. I no longer give a crap what happens to her," I lied. Hope and Chastity snorted in disbelief. "She didn't tell you, did she?" Chastity questioned me. Since the answer was 'no' I kept silent. "The Chancellor instructed her to abandon you and Rio and to help the rest of us get you two expelled," Hope informed me. All I could think of was, poor Iona, stuck in that spot. "She responded with a tale of one of the early martyrs," Chastity picked up the story. "All the martyr had to do to save her life from the lions is renounce Christ and kiss the hem of Caesar's robe. The young girl responded, 'I would rather spend my last hour in the dust with the Christians, ' ', than live ten thousand more days as a Roman,' I completed the story. Sure, the story came from a hundred years after the real Caesar was dead, but who really cared? "I don't think that went over well." "I imagine a less than sterling letter was fired off to her parents," Hope suggested. "Fine," I muttered after a moment. "What?" Chastity inquired. "Chastity and Hope, I apologize for what I said earlier. I was pissed and I lashed out when you were stuck in the same fucked up situation I'm in," I admitted. "Apology accepted," Chastity grinned. "Don't make a habit of pissing me off, Zane," Hope cautioned me, "and the next one of you to come at me with a food tray gets it in the teeth." "Why did you pick Hope and me?" Chastity asked about the food trays we'd dumped on them. "I'm not saying we plotted anything but if we did, we would have created a random list for each meal. We get target one, then go to target two, and so on," I answered. "If it was randomized it would be harder for you guys to figure out who was next." "Do you have any other retaliatory actions planned out?" Hope inquired. "What do you think?" I smirked. "How did you plan all this out?" Hope persisted. "Since you are still dedicated to having us expelled, I don't feel it is prudent to tell you," I replied. I was hardly going to admit Iona set it all up, including that little trick of blanking out our call logs. "Fine. Let's get out of here, Chastity," Hope sighed. "I'll be with you in a minute," Chastity told Hope. When Hope was halfway down the stairs, Chastity turned to me with a sly grin. "How did you know I'd help you?" she whispered. "For that matter, how did you slip me the note and the key?" "I promise I'll tell you one day, Chastity," I replied. I could hardly tell her that Ms. Goodswell had slipped my message and her key into Chastity's pack. That Chastity would actually gather up the clothes that Rio, Iona, and I needed was the greater risk. She'd done it and we'd made our Wednesday night getaway for ice cream. I still wasn't sure why Virginia had known Chastity would do it but figuring it all out would be fun. It wasn't as good as sex but, well; it wasn't as good as sex. The Object is not to Die "Let me wash you," Opal requested of me as I entered the bathroom the next morning. Warning her that I was poison was pointless. I looked, smelled, and sounded like trouble. I imagine if I asked her, she'd tell me I tasted like trouble too, but I didn't want to tempt fate. "I can keep your bandages dry," she promised. Mentally, I cracked when she finished rinsing my hair. "Why are you doing this?" I had to know. "Zane, you are the only non-related male I'm going to be in contact with for the next two years. If I let you go, I'm going to lapse into homosexuality," she explained. I couldn't resist. "Does that mean you would be opposed to a three-way?" I grinned. "I don't know," she mused, "who do you have in mind?" "Brandi; she is cute and receptive," I suggested. "Good choice," Opal beamed, "she's scrumptious. Do you think she's game? Don't bother, I'll snare her in; you make sure you show up, okay?" Up until this point in time I'd been fooling around but I had the distinct impression that Opal wasn't. "Let me guess; you are on the Soccer team," I chuckled. "Striker," Opal responded. "I should have known; you have that killer instinct," I sighed knowingly. "I know what I want and I go for it," she smiled as she closed with me and stroked my member. It was to our immense mutual disappointment that we simply didn't have the time to take it any further. I could appreciate Barbie Lynn throwing herself under the proverbial bus for us but I really wish she didn't look so sexy doing it. She stood with Rio, Iona, and me as we walked out of the dorm toward Christina and company. Rio and I exchanged conspiratorial glances with Iona. "I'm hoping for oatmeal," Rio quipped. "I'm betting on pancakes and syrup," I replied. "Oh, hot syrup," mused Iona. "I like syrup. It turns pancakes into fly paper." We walked up to our tormentors and held out our arms for their book bags, which they dutifully handed over. As we got ready to assume our kneeling position, Christina cleared her throat. "What are you doing?" Christina commented dryly. Seeing our confusion, she sniffed derisively, then added, "I haven't got all day." With that, she turned and walked off at a good clip we had to jog to keep up with. We hobbled into the Dining Hall without a word being said but when we got into the food line, Rio broke the spell. "Does this mean we don't dump food on them?" she whispered. "They've tossed us an olive branch so we shouldn't shower them with defoliant just yet," I suggested. "We need to know what they are up to," Iona added. That was the thing none of us had an answer to so we were served and went searching for someplace to sit. Cappadocia, Captain Willie, and another Karate teammate named Evangeline caught sight of us and chose that moment to rise and take their trays away, leaving us three adjacent seats. We leapt on them in an instant since another part of the Enemy's plan was to keep us isolated from one another. "I hate to rain on our parade but Queen Christina at six o'clock," Rio muttered. "Phone," Christina demanded of Iona. "We are in the Dining Hall," Rio spat, "you can't demand shit from us." "Watch your language, felon," Christina responded drolly. "It is Friday, Christina, in case you forgot. Your time is running out," I warned Christina that her time to make an apology to Rio was coming to an end. She looked haughtily down her nose at me. "Here you go," Iona said meekly. She had a point; even if we won here, Christina would jump us the moment we left the sanctuary of the Dining Hall. Christina took the phone and typed a message in, then sent it before returning it to Iona. Without explanation the Queen strutted away. "What was that about?" Rio muttered to Iona who was checking her text log. "She put Zane back on the market," Iona whispered in disbelief. "What the fuck!" Rio squeaked, trying to keep her shock from echoing across the hall. I looked around and saw phones ringing and the ripple of the word spreading out as girls looked my way. "What do we do, Zane?" Iona asked. I had to think that over and a grin slowly creased my face. "Give me ten names: Juniors and seniors only," I smiled. That would be part of my party list. "How is that going to help us get those bitches?" Rio asked. "Rio, living well is the best revenge, and I finally figured out how we are going to live well," I explained. My two companions didn't get it yet but Iona was busy getting my names. "What do I do with the list?" Iona asked. "Ask them to my party," I winked and the lights came on. "Sweet!" gloated Rio, "but how are we going to get away with it? The Chancellor is going to be watching us like a hawk." "Do you trust me?" I asked Rio and Iona. Iona nodded but Rio looked incredulous. "Why in the hell should I trust you, Jungle Boy?" Rio taunted me. "Because the other option has you crying tears of loneliness into your pillow tomorrow night, Arizona," I teased right back. Rio was from Arizona in the same way I was from the jungles of Thailand. Breakfast was drawing to a close so I had to make my move. When Christina and crew put their trays up I followed them quickly outside. "Glutton for punishment?" Hope questioned as I finished my approach. "I need a moment alone with Christina," I responded. Heaven snarled at me; very becoming. "So, I no longer bore you?" Christina threw my earlier words back in my face. "I need a favor and it will help me with your demise," I grinned because I knew I had her; the girl couldn't stand not knowing what I was up to, or so I prayed. Christina shrugged her indifference but motioned for me to follow her off to the side, away from the others. "So, after I've already done you two favors today, what else do you want of me?" she asked. I had to admit that she was no longer making me crawl on my knees and she'd freed me up for gentler hands, but I had my needs. "I want you to go to an off-campus party with me tomorrow night," I beamed hopefully. Christina studied me, clearly looking for my deceptive angle, but when none became evident, a smile slowly forced its way across her lips. "Okay, Zane, I give up. What is the catch?" Christina chuckled. "There is a Sorority party at my neighbor's house. They are inviting a fraternity over and I imagine a few people will crash. I've been invited and I was thinking we could bring around twenty of our girls for a fun night out," I explained. "Zane, we are a Christian Girls school; we don't do the whole partying, drinking, and spending time with strange boys thing," she lectured me. "You'll have fun," I promised her. "An hour ago you hated me," she pointed out. "How do I know this isn't some kind of trick?" "Sure, I hated you an hour ago, but that was then and I'm not going to waste my time fighting past battles. Besides, you did the right thing, though you took your time doing it," I answered. "Also, who in the Administration would I work for? I certainly wouldn't go outside the school." "Yet you are still going after me about Rio," Christina said. "That has to do with how you treat people, not what you did in the past," I corrected her. "If I leave it alone you will continue to treat people that don't conform to your world view like dirt." "You aren't going to win, Zane, but I tell you what; drop this silly vendetta and I'll consider going to that party," she offered. "Oh, I'll keep my vendetta and see you at the party anyway," I laughed which made Christina cross. "What makes you think that?" she replied through narrowed eyes. "You are fearless, hungry for knowledge, and you never pass up a challenge where there is even a remote chance of success. You won't go for me; you will go because this is something you can do and do well, and you can't pass up an opportunity to shine," I pointed out. "So you are attempting to flatter me with a fictitious character assessment," she chided in return. Busted! "You are not calling me a liar," I countered. We locked gazes for a few seconds. "I wish you were older," she commented. "Younger means I have more stamina," I offered. "Older means more experience, more to offer, and greater competition," she volleyed. "Younger means you can teach them more, less baggage, and a stronger desire to catch their quarry," I grinned. "Is that what I am to you; quarry?" Christina questioned me. "No. You are the girl I'm going to marry," I stated matter of factly before turning and running for Assembly. As it was, we were on the verge of being late, though Rio and Iona saved me a seat. Rio tried to get me to tell her what happened but I warned her to silence with the fey light in my gaze. When we got out a senior named Janice snatched me up. Her trick was dueling Bible verses. Sometimes I don't get chicks at all but I guess she thought she was doing my soul some good. The crew was waiting at my car when I was preparing to make my exit from campus. Christina was sitting on the hood of my car when I showed up. She pushed up and met me a few steps forward. "We've discussed it and we'll go," she told me, "but don't think this means even remotely that I'll ever marry you." By the looks on their faces this was the first her girl posse had heard about my intentions. "Oh, you will marry me," I said, feeling terribly self-assured. "I won't settle for anyone less and neither will you." Christina smirked but there was this light in her eyes. Chastity laughed while Faith and Hope looked stunned. Heaven looked pole-axed. I got in my car and rolled out for the short drive home. It was Friday night and I still had a lot to do before Saturday's party. To say that the situation with Aunt Jill at home was awkward would have been an understatement. Last Monday before I met with the Chancellor, Jill got a call from the university telling her that she'd sent a boy to a girl's school. I imagine it was some consolation that she hadn't bragged to our church about where I was going to school yet. "So, umm, Jill began as we sat down to eat dinner, "your Spiritual Advisor tells me you are making great strides in your Christian education. She also says you are well-received by your fellow students and that they don't hold your, condition against you." "Actually, several girls have shown great concern over my well-being," I expressed. "A few have told me they want to stop by the house tomorrow night and make sure I'm okay," I added. I could see Jill balk. "By that, I mean that twenty of them want to come over." The sheer number first worried, then impressed her. Surely she must be thinking that I'd be safe with so many women around. "That's good news, Zane. I was worried that you would be a slave to your baser nature but I see Jesus Christ has provided you with a new direction," Jill smiled lovingly. I decided not to tell her that the tools Christ had chosen were young ladies like Barbie Lynn, Rio, Iona, Chastity, and Opal, and I definitely knew better than to tell her about the party we would all be going to. "Speaking of new directions, I notice you are still wearing the clothes the young ladies next door picked out for you," I re-directed the conversation. Jill looked down at her plate for a minute. "I bought some of my old styles Monday but when I wore them Tuesday, a co-worker asked me if there had been a death in the family. What a horrid thing to say," she groaned. "Have you garnered any male attention?" I inquired, deeply curious. "Nothing you need worry about," Jill turned away, "I have one man in my life and you're more than enough for me to handle." "Jill, if you like I could come home one or two days a week for dinner; campus is so close," I offered, "and I'm sure my Dorm Mother won't mind." Jill looked up and studied me. "That would be nice, Zane. I know we didn't get off to a good start here but I'm willing to work at it if you are," she stated. "Kathryn has offered to come out here for a few weeks once harvest is done," Jill continued. I didn't know Kathryn, Jill's older sister, except for the few pictures I'd seen. I knew she'd been the first woman Uncle Tim was interested in but she ended up marrying a church elder thirty years her senior. She was like Jill, except thirty-seven years of age and a bit thicker. She worked on the family farm in Oregon doing, well, farmer shit. Jill said we could expect her the first week in November so we had better get the guest bedrooms ready for the visit. We caught a movie on TV, drank some wine, and talked about campus, classes and such. Jill had gone to an open university were Christian students were penalized for their beliefs (so she felt) and was fascinated with the idea of a place where Christian women alone sat in judgment of other Christian women. I pledged then and there to never put Rio and Jill alone in the same room together because I'd surely end up an orphan. In the morning, Jill and I picked up the place (Jill was a haphazard housekeeper), did some laundry, and went grocery shopping. In the checkout line I said something inane and Jill gave me an exaggerated giggle that I was becoming all too familiar with. It was the one a woman gives to a man when they think the man wants to be found amusing. It is kind of endearing when it comes from a teenage girl but a bit creepy when it comes from your female guardian. Jill really needed a man in her life but I was at a loss as to how to make it happen. Unfortunately, I had things to do after we ate lunch, namely going back to school to pick up Rio and Iona for a shopping trip. Rio had been stripped of all her 'party-wear' when her parents shipped her here and Iona never had anything like it at all. "Barbie Lynn wanted to see you in your room," Rio grumbled when Iona and I showed up in her abode. I had no idea what that was about so I left Iona in Rio's room and headed to the Solarium on my own. When I got to the top of the stairs Barbie's gaze met mine from my bed where she was sitting. She glanced past me to see if I brought company. "Are we alone?" she purred. I nodded in agreement, at which point Barbie Lynn sat up on the bed on her knees facing away from me. Slowly, looking over her shoulder, she hiked up her skirt until her bare-naked bum was revealed to me. "I've missed you," she moaned, then she began rubbing her right ass cheek and added, "We've both missed you." I stalked toward her, barely able to restrain the desire to pounce on her proffered posterior. Barbie grinned lustfully, went down to her hands and, as I was taking my pants and underwear off, she collapsed further onto her elbows, pushing her ass out even more. I started to caress her thighs, flank, and back, planting kisses along the way, when I noticed her ass crack and anus was slick with lubricant. "No foreplay; just fuck me," Barbie Lynn demanded with a voice heavy with need. I aimed my cock to her anus and slowly pushed in. Barbie gave a sharp intake of breath as her resistance was overcome, followed by this deep, animalistic vocalization of pleasure. Her breathing came in sharper and sharper gasps as I pushed steadily in until I was totally encased by her flesh. I put my weight on her back, reaching around and fondling her breasts through her shirt, no bra which, with Barbie's cleavage, was erotic and impractical yet wonderful to the touch. Our bodies synchronized into some really violent, ravenous sex when Barbie looked over her shoulder at me. "So, you are going to marry Christina?" she panted. I couldn't read her emotional state. "Yes, in about three or four years," I answered. "What about me, about us?" she whimpered as her passion began slipping her control. "You are a great friend, Barbie Lynn, but I don't love you. Is this going to be a problem?" I breathed heavily. "No," she rasped with a smile on her lips and eyes shut, "I wouldn't give up our time together for anything. Okay, it hurts a little, knowing I'm going to lose you one day." "We'll never lose what we have right now," I grunted as Barbie began to tremble against me. Her anal muscles began to squeeze and contort around me. Eyes squinted, she gave me a wicked little smile and I rewarded her with a sharp slap to the ass. Barbie hopped up but her fists kept clenching my sheets. "Oh, Zane," she gasped. I spanked her two more times hard and Barbie Lynn cried out, "Lord Jesus!" she called out in her own inimical way as the first major tremor grabbed her body. I hammered away for three more strokes when her heat and passion overcame me and I erupted into her ass. Barbie pushed up and back against me for over a minute before we finally collapsed on the bed, panting and sweating profusely. We lay there, young and vital, soaking up each other's warmth until Barbie Lynn wiggled her ass against me and sighed contentedly. "You're still hard," she murmured. "Whose fault is that, you vixen?" I teased her between deep breaths. "Don't you need to go shopping?" she titillated back. "Do I look like I want to go shopping?" I responded with both words and a jab with my cock. "Damn, oh damn," she moaned, as she stroked my cock with anal contractions. "Okay, one more time, then you have to go," she whimpered lustfully. "Two fucking hours!" Rio spat. "Jesus Christ, man, can she still walk?" Okay, so we did it more than one more time, I must confess, but I wasn't telling Rio that. "She was asleep when I left her," I stated, "but I think she's ambulatory." Iona blushed which reminded me that I still owed her a full-body hot oil massage. "Were you ever not the Hammer of God?" Rio questioned me about my sexual prowess. "Well," I chuckled, "my first sexual encounter, from stripping off our clothes to my shot, was less than a minute. I got one stroke in, pulled out too far, and ejaculated

A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan
844 - Horny Vanbucketdad

A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2025 112:00


• Fairvilla Megastore Halloween party and Grave Rave • Horny Dracula joke and costume talk • Shopping for lingerie, gifts, and costumes at Fairvilla • Store locations in Kissimmee, I-Drive, Palatka, and Sanford • Visit Fairvilla.com for info and events • Show intro and sponsor shoutouts • Reflection on show longevity and episode count • New Love Thy Neighbor podcast with Colette Fehr • Relationship focus with humor and Thursday schedule • Promo for free Bad at Business Beerfest on Nov 22 • THC seltzer trend and tolerance chat • Guest Amy LeCours on sobriety and quitting Adderall • Marriage dynamics and side-effect jokes • Beerfest planning and sponsor updates • Jeff's Bagel Run app and giveaways • Giant Recreational World RVs joining the fest • Camping trip to Jonathan Dickinson State Park • Camper luxury and marriage humor • Beerfest lineup with free beer, seltzers, food trucks, and giveaways • Gabriel Plants and Jeff's Bagel Run freebies • Silver Linings Band and DJ Sharp performing live • Family-friendly, all-ages street party • Limited gift bags, arrive early at noon • Pint-glass sales benefit Yellow Brick Road Foundation • Jokes about charity credit and validation • Sofas and Suds couch races promo before Thanksgiving • AI fatigue and Sora 2 video generator talk • SJ from St. Cloud as tech partner • AI videos: zombie chase and Stephen Hawking skateboarding • Digital afterlife and consent debate • A Boy Named Farts AI parody and artist-rights talk • Chris Stapleton concert canceled for bronchitis • Weekend plans ruined and weather debate • Defending a Monster segment on Columbus • Guns, disease, and morality in context • Regret over “Indian” label and Italian stereotypes • Columbus confusion and AI fatigue • Columbus Day regattas and nude boating nostalgia • 1980s parenting, drinking, and no seatbelts • Bucket Dad memories and reckless fun • Past vs modern child-safety contrast • Indoor-smoking nostalgia and car-feature talk • Tech-gap jokes about landlines and icons • New hair-growth study with minoxidil and stevia • Tugboat Clark beard experiment • Hollerbach's Oktoberfest food, beer, and stein-holding • Amy LeCours comedy shows at 12 Talons, Bull & Bush, Little Indies • NFL tush-push debate and rule predictions • Bucket Dad callback and email segment • Workplace story on covering coworker duties • Independent show model vs old iHeart system • Employees multitasking and ghost quitters • Caring exploited vs healthy boundaries • Accepting favors without guilt • Listener Joshua's dad-daughter Honda N600 build • Parenting and passing down skills • Bucket Dads vs absent dads motivation • Balancing trauma and success in kids • Using video proof for parenting memories • Flip-flops and professionalism debate • Florida casual culture vs business image • Comics dressing up out of respect • Tom's Pukes of Hazard tease and leg injury • Physical-therapy embarrassment and odor jokes • Avoidance humor and smell callback • Tugboat Clark storm call-in and 10-ft waves • Stevia-minoxidil patch results and mouse study • Crack vs Stevia confusion and Charlie Sheen story • Listener Concrete Mike 9/11 near-miss story • Fate, luck, and random survival themes • Dan's Sanford Cracker Barrel shooting story • Divine intervention vs chance debate • Other-shoe-to-drop mindset and entropy metaphor • Rant on pill shortages and Adderall panic • Wrap-up plugs for Amy LeCours and Pillow Fort podcast • Reminder to listen to Love Thy Neighbor • Upcoming November events and Fairvilla party • Attend Sofas and Suds and Beerfest • Colette Fehr confirmed for Beerfest • Pukes of Hazard premieres Monday for BDMs • Subscribe at TomandDan.com and join the fun ### **Social Media:**   [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**   [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)

Horny Report
Horny Report 404

Horny Report

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2025 141:45


TroloPolítica CalvoCabronista, Popping Bachata, Parque Rust, Boliche sueco, Peaje interminable, Toallas Bobo, Dino Ballotti, Cruzada Blackwater, Isla Bestialista, Mansión embrujada, Omnibus oscuro, Disco Ganso, Bulalas BoyBand y mucho mas.

The Thing Is...
455: Wholesome Not Horny (Molly Vivent)

The Thing Is...

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2025 69:51


Comedian Molly Vivent joins Shannon and Figs! They discuss the new Ed Gein show on Netflix, Molly's issues with her dad, the guy playing the "nice guy" card on Love Is Blind and more before diving into the stories including a nutty hookup with a creep, going on a fancy date and letting her mouth get her in trouble, getting into a fight with college kids at Temple University, living in a room haunted by a family member after their passing and so much more!Air Date: 10/07/25Support our sponsorshttps://bodybraincoffee.com use the code DING20 to get 20% off!https://yokratom.com/ - Home of the $60 Kilo*Send in your stories for Bad Dates, Bad Things, and Scary Things to...* thethingispodcast@gmail.com The Thing Is...Podcast Merch available athttps://gasdigitalmerch.com/collections/the-thing-isThe Thing Is... Airs every Tuesday, at 5:30pm ET on the GaS Digital Network! The newest 20 episodes are always free, but if you want access to all the archives, watch live, chat live, access to the forums, and get the show five days before it comes out everywhere else - you can subscribe now at gasdigital.com and use the code TTI to get a one week free trial.Follow the show on social media! Molly Vivent-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howdidigetsosexyShannon Lee-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shannonlee6982/Mike Figs-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comicmikefigs/YouTube: @comicmikefigsSubscribe On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC87Akt2Sq_-YEd_YrNpbS2QShannon's Amazon Wishlisthttps://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3Q05PR2JFBE6T?ref_=wl_shareSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Aaron Scene's After Party
THE RETURN OF BIG PAPI feat. @champagneeli & @maarkeezy_

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2025 60:41


The new Rumps & Bumps jersey just dropped! Check out afterpartyinc.com. Its the return of our boy Champagne Eli! As he comes on after a two year hiatus. We talk about the last time he came on the podcast and he ended up where no one wants to be, find out how the ladies have been treating him plus Mark chimes in and Mark gives us the scoop on why he's still single. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty

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ManKind Podcast
229 - Lonely, Horny, or Hungry for More? Men and the Myths of Sex with Eric FitzMedrud

ManKind Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2025 51:54


Text Us Your Feedback! (Likes, Dislikes, Guest/Conversation Recommendations). Lonely, Horny, or Hungry for More? Men and the Myths of Sex with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud | ManKind PodcastWhat if our hunger for sex is really a hunger for connection?In this episode, Boysen Hodgson sits down with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, therapist, educator, and author of The Better Man, to explore the emotional roots of modern male sexuality—and how many men are seeking healing in the wrong places.From navigating rejection to redefining consent, Eric offers a grounded, compassionate roadmap for men who want to move beyond shame, loneliness, and entitlement—and into deeper, more meaningful connection.Together, they explore the intersection of men's work, emotional maturity, and sexual healing in a culture that rarely supports any of it.

FantasyGandalf
#173 - #freeMaggaStína, horny prestar og kynlíf áður en þú deyrð

FantasyGandalf

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2025 75:01


Ekki léttir en ljúfir og kátir. Góða skemmtun!

LOS MAFIA PÓDCAST
FER ALUCÍN LE DA CARRILA A EL HORNY

LOS MAFIA PÓDCAST

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2025 80:11


FER ALUCÍN LE DA CARRILA A EL HORNY

Who Watches This Podcast
Haunt Season : Leaves Are Falling, Bodies Are Too

Who Watches This Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2025 60:07


Send us a textIt's 2025 SPOOK-TOBERToday were talking about:Grab your pumpkin spice latte and your sharpest fake machete—it's Haunt Season (2024), the movie that proves Halloween is less about candy and more about questionable acting choices.In this seasonal spook-fest, Horny adults work at the season Haunted house only to find out that some of the bodies are REAL. We break down the “scares,” question the characters' survival instincts, and ask the real question: if fall is “cozy season,” why are horror directors determined to make it trauma season?

Horny Report
Horny Report 403

Horny Report

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2025 125:52


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https://apnews.com/article/serbia-france-arrests-pig-heads-russia-1c9fba050f4d51ae1c13909c7a4b1513 Misiles Swinger https://avia-es.com/news/ukraina-ne-obladaet-finansami-dlya-proizvodstva-dostatochnogo-kolichestva-dalnoboynyh-raket Se acabó la sección de El Pueblo https://responsiblestatecraft.org/israel-influencers-netanyahu/ Royal Zurraña https://www.20minutos.es/internacional/casi-100-infectados-por-norovirus-un-crucero-royal-caribbean_6511652_0.html psychanalyste https://www.leparisien.fr/faits-divers/le-psychanalyste-gerard-miller-presente-a-un-juge-pour-etre-mis-en-examen-pour-viols-et-agressions-sexuelles-02-10-2025-GDT34W7INJBZLANCMIROH33JDI.php Reto k-pop https://www.infobae.com/entretenimiento/2025/10/01/doctores-alertan-a-padres-sobre-un-peligroso-reto-viral-inspirado-en-kpop-demon-hunters/ Piratas pelucones https://avia-es.com/news/francuzskiy-specnaz-zaderzhal-tanker-pushpa-po-podozreniyu-v-prichastnosti-k-incidentu-s Devotos Muertos 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https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/man-32-breastfed-woman-60-35998355 Los Pulpos de Trujillo https://radiomitre.cienradios.com/policiales/como-esta-conformada-la-banda-de-los-pulpos-la-organizacion-familiar-a-la-que-pertenece-pequeno-j/ Patron transfobico https://www.cibercuba.com/noticias/2025-10-02-u1-e208933-s27061-nid312190-mujeres-trans-sufren-agresion-inmediaciones-ciudad SwingingDorm https://www.elconfidencial.com/bienestar/2025-04-13/se-triplipan-las-ets-en-mayores-de-60_4107215/ Disculpa electoralista https://www.jta.org/2025/10/01/politics/andrew-cuomo-apologizes-to-orthodox-jews-for-past-handling-of-covid-19-restrictions El Gárgola https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2025/10/02/estos-son-los-crimenes-ligados-a-el-gargola-presunto-miembro-del-cjng-asesinado-durante-enfrentamiento-en-michoacan/ PedofiNet https://neweralive.na/20-000-minors-face-online-sexual-exploitation-annually/ Lloróna follaChips https://www.dailymaverick.co.za/opinionista/2025-10-02-unforced-error-how-sas-diplomatic-blunder-risks-its-digital-future/ Expo judía https://www.enlacejudio.com/2025/09/22/con-gran-exito-de-publico-se-clausura-la-primera-exposicion-de-arte-judio-en-barcelona/ Bobos secuestrados https://allafrica.com/stories/202510020090.html Mercadono abiertito https://www.losreplicantes.com/articulos/criticas-mercadona-abrir-supermercados-alerta-roja-temporal-valencia/ Peligro medioambiental-bestialista https://larepublica.es/2025/10/03/la-mineria-en-aguas-profundas-pone-en-peligro-a-30-especies-de-tiburones-rayas-y-quimeras/ Bajo asedio https://iharare.com/zimbabwe-mp-calls-for-castration-of-rapists-says-current-law-not-harsh-enough/ Dron Zozulyo https://avia-es.com/news/u-vsu-poyavilis-novye-opasnye-dlya-tylovoy-infrastruktury-rossii-drony-zozulya-i-rubaka OnlyFans bloqueados https://tass.com/world/2022731 Reminiscencias Anglas https://iharare.com/zimbabwe-gears-up-for-marylebone-cricket-clubs-mcc-historic-tour-after-six-decades/#google_vignette La Muñeca de la Mafia https://www.infobae.com/mexico/2025/10/02/procesan-por-homicidio-a-la-muneca-de-la-mafia-mujer-policia-vinculada-con-los-rusos-en-guerrero/ Operación Tridente https://www.democrata.es/internacional/javier-milei-firma-decreto-llegada-tropas-ee-uu-argentina-mes/ Skunk water https://www.telesurtv.net/flotilla-denuncia-violaciones-ddhh-activistas/ Aceh resiste https://www.abc.es/sociedad/tribunal-insonesia-condena-nueve-personas-latigazos-incumplimiento-20250922113909-vi.html Hielo bendecido https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.elespanol.com/mundo/20251002/papa-bendice-fragmento-hielo-anos-concienciar-gravedad-cambio-climatico/1003743952285_0.amp.html Darwinismo escarlata https://heraldodemexico.com.mx/mundo/2025/9/28/alpinista-cae-dramaticamente-al-vacio-muere-tras-intentar-tomarse-selfie-en-una-montana-video-733342.html La Peor https://www.europapress.es/economia/finanzas-00340/noticia-bolsa-argentina-convierte-peor-mundo-caida-acumulada-30-2025-20250918140533.html Pelo Acorazado https://www.chosun.com/english/world-en/2025/10/01/XWG5IUXBVNDCRPK5CTXCS7FS44/ Franco palestino https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.elperiodico.com/es/politica/20250930/ayuntamiento-cordobes-gobernado-vox-desmarca-partido-genocidio-israel-122130178 Drones incident https://euroweeklynews.com/2025/10/03/norway-airport-drone-fliers-discovered-and-they-are-not-russian/ Inutiles desaparecidos https://www.tv2.no/nyheter/soldater-savnet-sendt-ut-alt-av-ressurser/18157674/ Profeta Santini https://actualidad.esrt.press/actualidad/567056-hombre-fortuna-promesa-milagros-internet Comercio exterior https://logistica.cdecomunicacion.es/sector-logistico/155853/espana-reequilibra-comercio-exterior-suben-ventas-china-caen-eeuu Buitres almendreros https://www.eldiariodehuesca.com/agroalimentacion/bajo-cinca-monegros-multiplican-almendros-por-impulso-fondos-inversion-holandeses_36691_102.html Buitres porcinos https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.interempresas.net/porcino/Articulos/609034-Fondos-de-inversion-buscan-en-varios-paises-granjas-de-porcino-integradas-para-invertir.html&ved=2ahUKEwjiwLPLuoeQAxVOQ0EAHTJbIoQQxfQBKAB6BAgGEAE&usg=AOvVaw29lxreLUu_PWDunClDSEPi Jubilados suizos https://www.elperiodico.com/es/vida-y-estilo/20251002/suizo-malaga-jubilacion-imposible-vivir-dv-122163837 Turistas delincuentes https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.larazon.es/internacional/aumentan-delitos-turistas-britanicos-drogas-peleas-carcel-principales-puntos-turisticos-mundo-b50m_2025092768d7cac916355c411da7d70f.html%3foutputType=amp Cazas suecos https://avia-es.com/news/shveciya-oprovergla-soobshcheniya-o-postavkah-istrebiteley-gripen-ukraine Deportación de la suerte https://allafrica.com/stories/202510020101.html Chanchito sabrosito https://www.enlacejudio.com/2025/09/25/universidad-de-syracuse-delitos-de-odio-por-arrojar-carne-de-cerdo-a-una-fraternidad-judia-durante-rosh-hashana/ Paraguas trincon https://x.com/ABCCardinal/status/1973727516159271287 Limpiapisos turísticos https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.eldebate.com/espana/madrid/20251003/denuncian-arquitecto-joaquin-torres-explotacion-laboral-danos-propiedad-ajena-edificios-madrid_340413_amp.html La Cubana https://www.msn.com/es-es/entretenimiento/other/gloria-estefan-ante-su-pol%C3%A9mica-por-el-d%C3%ADa-de-la-hispanidad-se-sincera-sobre-sus-or%C3%ADgenes-soy-asturiana/ar-AA1LacEm?ocid=msedgntp&pc=U531&cvid=68df7a9514d94388acc0f3a0fd779827&ei=12

The Daily Zeitgeist
Fox News Horny For Barron, Tariff-ying Halloween! 10.02.25

The Daily Zeitgeist

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 2, 2025 75:45 Transcription Available


In episode 1941, Jack and Miles are joined by comedian and co-author of Muddy Waters Too, Ben Katzner, to discuss… Fox News Is Being Creepy As Hell About Barron Trump’s Date, Is Trump Already Ruining Halloween? Cops Pull Over A Waymo For An Illegal U-Turn…, Is The Future Of Hollywood The Plot Of A Shitty Al Pacino Movie?? And more! Fox News Is Being Creepy As Hell About Barron Trump’s Date First son Barron Trump went on a date — and it wreaked havoc inside Trump Tower: report Is Trump Already Ruining Halloween? Spirit Halloween Is Selling a Whole Line of ‘Sinners’ Halloween Costumes Economy Not Scaring Americans From Record Spending on Halloween Pricey Halloween: Tariffs causing some spooky price hikes Is the Home Depot's viral 12-foot skeleton a victim of President Trump's tariffs? 12 ft. Grave & Bones Giant-Sized Skelly with LifeEyes™ LCD Eyes H5 Al Pacino's Only Sci-Fi Movie Gave Us A Startling Warning About Hollywood's Future Simone (2002 film) Simone (2002) Official Trailer - Al Pacino, Winona Ryder Sci-Fi Movie HD Who is Tilly Norwood? Why this AI actress is sparking backlash from real Hollywood stars. Emily Blunt brands AI-generated actress Tilly Norwood 'terrifying' SAG-AFTRA Slams AI Actress: “Tilly Norwood Is Not an Actor — It Has No Life Experience to Draw From, No Emotion” Meet Tilly Norwood, an AI Actress Causing a Stir in Hollywood Who is Tilly Norwood? AI actress has Hollywood agents vying to sign her up Talent Agents Circle AI Actress Tilly Norwood As Studios Quietly Embrace AI Technology – Zurich Summit AI Commissioner | Comedy Sketch | Particle6 LISTEN: F**K EVERYONE by Lola YoungSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Colleen & Bradley
10/01 Wed Hr 2: Dancing with the (horny) Stars?

Colleen & Bradley

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2025 40:09


Dawn isn't here for Julianne Hough's cougar antics towards Robert Irwin. Advent calendar ordering season is upon us and Bradley's mostly excited about a very expensive one. Dawn's interpreting more dreams. And she's got a couple of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce updates. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

the Profane Argument, atheist podcast
Ep#454: They made me horny and forced me to psychic

the Profane Argument, atheist podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2025 72:02


Announcements: International Blasphemy Rights Day @1:55 Letter to MA house @2:45 Currently 6 states Follow-ups: TX - second lawsuit @5:42 Betty Lachgar @6:32 Nigeria @7:42 Immediate consequences @12:26 Why autism stats are wrong. @13:44 RFK to move on mifepristone @17:26 Round-Up @18:37 News: Top Military Leaders meet @24:25 Haley Stevens is preparing to introduce articles of impeachment @35:39 Ryan Walters resigns to lead conservative educators' group @36:33 Eric Adams @39:54 QAnon Shaman sues Trump @42:02 LifeWise @46:45 Conspiracies: The Plot Against America @47:57 NSPM-7 @55:35 Politics: Trump falls for AI MedBed @59:07 Health/Medicine/Science: Quackwatch @1:04:32 Pseudoscience: Remote viewer Jeff J. @1:06:31 Final Stories: New F-47 jet 1:09:08

Sex On The Peach
54. Horny, But Hindered.

Sex On The Peach

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2025 70:27


Friends, Lovers, Listeners. Happy Wednesday, Happy Hump Day and Happy Sex on the Peach Day. It's Halloween month which feels like an apt time to have a conversation about the sex scaries. A lot of word vomit from me regarding my absence from the podcast, and a deep dive into sexual anxieties. Think of this episode as part confession, part solidarity. My anxiety has completely tanked my sex drive and this is me saying, ‘Okay, if I'm going through this, I bet some of you are too.' And rather than hiding it, or adding shame on top of an already frustrating situation, let's unpack it together. Let's talk about the scenarios our brains invent, let's share the awkwardness, and let's also look at the ways we can make sex feel safe, fun, and possible again...even when anxiety is hanging around. Because I know you've all been with me through so many of these conversations, and you KNOW I never want to sit here and pretend I've got it all figured out. I don't. Right now I'm living through it with you. And if you've ever been thinking about having sex and your brain instead suddenly goes, ‘What if the world ends tomorrow?' then congratulations - You are not broken. You are not alone. You are human. And so am I. So let's get into it - Here is Horny, but Hindered. Sex On The Peach is a completely inclusive, open, judgement free zone. However you identify - both in your gender and sexuality, whatever race, age, size, ability, religion you are - everyone is welcome here, and I hope that at some point in an episode we will touch on something you can relate to and resonate with.Please like, follow, share, review and subscribe to stay in the loop of all future episodes, and you can also follow me on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube @sexonthepeachcast. If you want to contact me directly, you can do so at sexonthepeachcast@gmail.com.Sex On The Peach - A Collaboration, Not A Performance.Love, Peach.Links:Website: https://linktr.ee/sexonthepeachPodcast Hosted By Buzzsprout: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2042722/shareSend us a textSupport the show

Circling Back
Baby Name Lady, Horny Big 10 Quarterbacks, & Golf | Circling Back 9-29-25

Circling Back

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 77:06


Dillon played golf for the first time in two years as the boys recap their Weekends in Fun, a lady charging 30 grand to name babies, Ryder Cup talk, ball talk, and Run it Back.  Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/washedmedia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Washed Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.washedmedia.shop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ • (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter • (10:15) Recapping This Weekend in Fun • (30:35) Charity Golf Tourney • (37:50) Baby Name Lady • (46:40) Ryder Cup • (1:05:40) Weekend Ball • (1:15:10) Run it Back Support This Episode's Sponsors: Fitbod: Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE for seven days at ⁠https://fitbod.me/steam⁠ Squarespace: Check out ⁠⁠⁠https://squarespace.com/steam⁠⁠⁠ for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: STEAM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to ⁠https://rocketmoney.com/circling⁠ today. Underdog Fantasy: Download the app today and sign up with promo code STEAM to score FIFTY DOLLARS in Bonus Funds when you play your first FIVE dollars – that's promo code STEAM Must be 18+ (19+ in Alabama & Nebraska; 19+ in Colorado for some games; 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts & Virginia) and present in a state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com/web/PlayandGetTerms_DFS_.html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. In New York, call the 24/7 HOPEline at 1-877-8-HOPENY or Text HOPENY (467369) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mikey and Bob
Horny For Lady Bugs

Mikey and Bob

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 79:51


Steelers had a big win in Ireland we read the Facebook Comments - Bad Bunny Super Bowl Halftime Facebook comments - The Marc-Andre Fleury pre-season game might be the peak of this Penguins season - Selena and Benny love is real - Welcome to Taylor Swift Week - We checked In with the Pittsburgh Police Scanner - Have anything fun for the show... Want to say hi... Listen on iHeartRadio click the little mic and leave us a talkback messageSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Portfolio Checklist
Nagy ütést vinne be az oroszoknak von der Leyen: a magyar gazdaság is megérezheti?

Portfolio Checklist

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2025 29:33


Történelmi fordulóponthoz érkezett az Európai Unió: Ursula von der Leyen bejelentette, hogy az EU importvámokat vezetne be, hogy végleg megszüntesse az orosz olaj- és gázbehozatalt. A témában itt volt velünk Szabó Dániel a Portfolio uniós ügyekért felelős szakértője. A műsor második részében azt néztük meg, miért kellett revíziót végrehajtania a Központi Statisztikai Hivatalnak a 2018 és 2023 között publikált szegénységi adatokban. Ezt a témát Hornyák Józseffel a Portfolio Makro rovatának elemzőjével tekintettük át. Főbb részek: Intro – (00:00) Olaj- gázimport – (01:30) Makronaptár – (17:31) KSH – (18:54) A címlapkép illusztráció. Címlapkép forrása: Getty ImagesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Aaron Scene's After Party
THE NIGHTLIFE BARBER feat. @uncutpodcast & @eddieblndz

Aaron Scene's After Party

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2025 62:52


The new Rumps & Bumps jersey just dropped! Check out afterpartyinc.com. It's the UNCUT x AFTER PARTY Collab you've been waiting for! Eddie Blendz steps into the After Party and talks about his journey in becoming a barber, owning his own studio and talks up WEST TEXAS SHOWDOWN. Plus! He answers some horny questions and gives us the Eddie Tea. Follow us on social media @AaronScenesAfterParty Watch the full video and listen to the episode on all platforms and head over to our instagram @ AaronScenesAfterParty

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Portfolio Checklist
Üzenet vagy teszt? Mi Putyin célja a légtérsértő provokációkkal?

Portfolio Checklist

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2025 26:53


A NATO légterébe berepülő orosz drónok és vadászrepülők jelentette provokációkról volt szó. A témában Huszák Dánielt, a Portfolio Globál rovatának vezető elemzőjét kérdeztük. Az adás második részében arról volt szó, hogy mekkora a bérszakadék Magyarországon az egyes jövedelmi ötödök között és mekkora regionális bontásban. Erről Hornyák Józsefet, a Portfolio makroelemzőjét kérdeztük. Főbb részek: Intro – (00:00) Orosz légtérsértések – (01:22) Bérszakadék – (15:06) A kép illusztráció. Kép forrása: PortfolioSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Hook Up
How Often Should You Be Having Sex?

The Hook Up

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2025 40:58


Everyone's got a number in mind but whether you're hitting that goal is a different story. From hormones and medication to the mental load and mismatched libidos, we find out the factors that affect how much sex you're having - and if there's a magic number.SHOW NOTES:Don't Blame Women For Low Libido, Sparks Fly When Partners Do Their Share Of Chores: https://theconversation.com/dont-blame-women-for-low-libido-sexual-sparks-fly-when-partners-do-their-share-of-chores-including-calling-the-plumber-185401Is a Man's Sex Drive Really Much Stronger Than a Woman's?https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a64059036/unsupportive-partners-stress-sex-drive/Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare?https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compareIs a Man's Sex Drive Really Much Stronger Than a Woman's?https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/talking-apes/202212/do-men-really-have-stronger-sex-drives-than-womenDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Sports Bizarre
Horny Pet Camel - Animal Bizarre

Sports Bizarre

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2025 26:17


Mick’s back and joins the chat about Dr Chris Brown’s cheeky cat confession, an iguana pulling off a virgin birth, and a camel that got a little too frisky. If you’d like more Animal Bizarre, become a member of Bizarre Plus. Click here to join today As a member, you’ll get: A weekly bonus podcast Access to all past episodes Exclusive behind-the-scenes access Access to the members-only chatroom Ability to vote on future episodes Early access to any live show tickets See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worldbuild With Us
Episode 274: A Flight of Final Jams

Worldbuild With Us

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2025 73:34


EVERYONE*. IS. HERE. Come and join us on our final jam session of WBWU. It's got everything you'll ever need*. Horny medusas, Rotting Cyberliches, and a genuine HOUND. OF. TINADLOS!   And if you're feeling particularly generous, you can support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/worldbuildwithus Chat with us on our Discord server: https://discord.gg/SRFhWV3 Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@worldbuildwithus Email us your suggestions: WorldbuildWithUs@gmail.com Intro theme: "Half Mystery" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0  Outro Theme: "Study and Relax" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Brooke and Jubal
FULL SHOW: Never Hire Friends Call, Whatcha Doin' Lady Gaga + Horny Scrooge Prank (9/16/25)

Brooke and Jubal

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2025 55:58 Transcription Available


FULL SHOW: Tuesday, September 16th, 2025 Curious if we look as bad as we sound? Follow us @BrookeandJeffrey: Youtube Instagram TikTok BrookeandJeffrey.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Phone Hacks
384. Alexei Toliopoulos & Ben Kochan - Horny Boggle

The Phone Hacks

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2025 69:07


Alexei Toliopoulos & Ben Kochan join Mike in Sydney to hear about Mike's Bali adventure and discuss some dubious ideas for movies. Watch the full video HERE Join the PATREON HERE - Just $7 (AUD) for bonus eps and content - get tons of behind the scenes hacks and pranks and help keep this podcast going! Go watch Capper's special Hold Me Closer Tiny Cancer HERE Follow CAPPER and MIKE and PHONE HACKS on Instagram Subscribe where you're listening and leave a review to get the word out there.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Pod of Thunder
620 - Vanilla Ice - The Horny Song

Pod of Thunder

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2025 84:04 Transcription Available


620 - Vanilla Ice - The Horny Song: Chris, Nick, and Andy break down "The Horny Song" from the 1998 album Hard to Swallow by Vanilla Ice. 

A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan
ACT - "Horny-Mon" (Tuesday 9-2-25)

A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2025 90:13


The far more censored version of the award-winning and unparalleled "A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan." - "A Corporate Time" is a daily companion and terrestrial radio show heard nationally on iHeartRadio. It's silly.

horny mediocre time corporate time
Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil
Re-Release: So Horny, So Scared (w/ Punkie Johnson, Josh Gondelman, and Skyler Higley)

Bad Dates with Jameela Jamil

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2025 40:59


On a classic episode of Bad Dates, host Joel Kim Booster welcomes comedians Punkie Johnson, Josh Gondelman, and Skyler Higley to discuss their most iconic dating fiascos. Punkie just wanted to hang out and now she's getting bonked by a Johnson, Josh takes his date to a movie but by the time they leave his last name will be Gonegirlman, and Skyler finds himself in expert mode but he's more quickly than Higley. If you've had a bad date you'd like to tell us about, our number is 984-265-3283, and our email is baddatespod@gmail.com, we can't wait to hear all about it! Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips. Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for video clips.Merch available at SiriusXMStore.com/BadDates. Joel Kim Booster: Psychosexual, Fire Island, Loot Season 2Punkie Johnson: @punkiejohnson on socialsJosh Gondelman: @joshgondelman on socials, joshgondelman.comSkyler Higley: @skylerhigley on socials  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Bad Dates ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Hellraiser Or Hilarious w/ Doug Bradley (Pinhead) | Your Mom's House Ep. 824

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2025 91:10


Let us know what your favorite Your Mom's House moment is by submitting a video recording to yourmomspodcast@gmail.com Get tickets for Tom's Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse If you're 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! #viiaparter We have such sights to show you! This week, Christina P sits down with horror icon Doug Bradley, the legendary actor behind Hellraiser's Pinhead, for a conversation that's equal parts creepy, funny, and surprisingly tender. Doug dives into the origins of Pinhead's terrifying look, the philosophy behind horror villains, and what it's like when strangers recognize him as the guy who tormented their nightmares.Christina presses Doug on whether BDSM aesthetics became mainstream thanks to Cenobites, and if he's ever had to explain his career choices at awkward family dinners. Doug also shares behind-the-scenes stories of low-budget chaos, midnight makeup chair marathons, and how becoming a horror icon changed his life in ways he never saw coming. With frequent detours into absurdity Doug also proves he's not just a master of horror—he's got comedy chops too. This episode is a once-in-a-lifetime crossover of YMH filth and horror royalty...missing it would be a waste of good suffering. Your Mom's House Ep. 824 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:11 - Let The Conversation Begin 00:04:08 - Opening Clip: Anybody Want These Sandals? 00:05:43 - Clip: Mr. Big Praises Christina 00:07:15 - Photos Of Pinhead 00:14:17 - Pinhead Takes The MTV Movie Awards 00:20:35 - Basic Questions 00:23:19 - Clive Barker 00:31:27 - Behind The Mask 00:38:06 - Hellraiser 00:46:20 - The Origins Of The Cenobites' Names 00:55:41 - Hellbound & Horny 01:03:41 - Master Of Accents 01:14:02 - Arsenal Fans & Doug Bradley's YouTube Page 01:21:14 - Mommy's New Boobs 01:27:08 - Closing Song - "Feel The Pain" by Mark Price Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth
2666: Eight Fitness & Diet Lies That Will Make You Fat & Unhealthy (Listener Live Coaching)

Mind Pump: Raw Fitness Truth

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2025 104:19


In this episode of Quah (Q & A), Sal, Adam & Justin coach four Pump Heads via Zoom. Mind Pump Fit Tip: 8 Fitness & Diet Lies That Will Make You Fat & Unhealthy. (2:08) It's like having a sleep buddy. (27:52) Fart gun. (30:54) Religious revival. (34:02) Reevaluating the streaming services debate. (35:49) AI: The good, the bad, and the ugly. (40:50) Mice infestation. (50:53) Horny stack. (52:46) The podcast world is shifting. (53:45) Shout out to The Diary of a CEO Podcast: The Real Reason You're Still Broke! (and how to escape it) | The Money Making Experts. (55:48) #ListenerLive question #1 – Will I ever be able to get my strength back in my knee, or have I missed my opportunity since I favored it so long? (1:01:33) #ListenerLive question #2 – What advice would you have for building a career as an online fitness coach? (1:16:51) #ListenerLive question #3 – What should my caloric intake be for increasing muscle mass while trying to decrease body fat percentage? (1:26:18) #ListenerLive question #4 – Update from #2566: Can I expect more from my physique, or should I lower my expectations given my circumstances and age? (1:33:13) Related Links/Products Mentioned Ask a question to Mind Pump, live! Email: live@mindpumpmedia.com Visit Eight Sleep for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump Listeners! ** Use the code MINDPUMP to get $350 off your very own Pod 5 Ultra. The best part is that you still get 30 days to try it at home and return it if you don't like it – – Shipping to many countries worldwide. ** Visit Organifi for the exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Promo code MINDPUMP at checkout for 20% off** August Special: MAPS 15 50% off! ** Code MUSCLE50 at checkout ** Mind Pump #2250: How Eating More Can Make You Leaner (& How Eating Less Can Make You Fatter) Mind Pump #2597: Before You Take Ozempic, Wegovy, or Mounjaro Listen to This! Sore muscles…what does it mean? – Mind Pump Blog Is Gen Z truly experiencing a religious revival? UFC Lands New Home: Paramount+ Gov Pritzker Signs Legislation Prohibiting AI Therapy in Illinois The Diary Of A CEO: The Real Reason You're Still Broke! (and how to escape it) | The Money Making Experts Visit MASSZYMES by biOptimizers for an exclusive offer for Mind Pump listeners! **Code MINDPUMP10 at checkout for 10% off any order. ** Mind Pump # 2555: The Muscle-Building Secrets of Unilateral Training Online Personal Training Course | Mind Pump Fitness Coaching ** Approved provider by NASM/AFAA (1.9 CEUs)! Grow your business and succeed in 2025. ** Is exercise more effective than medication for depression and anxiety? Mind Pump # 1830: Five Steps to Determine Your ideal Caloric Intake Sal Di Stefano's Journey in Faith & Fitness – Mind Pump TV Mind Pump #2566: The Best Way to Measure Progress in the Gym & More (Listener Live Coaching) Elite Trainer Academy – Podcast Mind Pump Podcast – YouTube Mind Pump Free Resources People Mentioned Alex Hormozi (@hormozi) Instagram Codie Sanchez (@codiesanchez) Instagram Daniel Priestley (@danielpriestley) Instagram