Podcasts about your mom

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Tom and Christina are back in the Studio Jeans for another week of really wild finds and the discovery of a possible heir to the FedSmoker crown. Before that, Christina launches her new winter makeup drop (“Cuts You Up”) and the Jeans reminisce about classic reality TV — from Wife Swap's “God Warrior” meltdown to Ice Cube's bizarre early-2000s race-swap experiment on FX. They then dive deep into constipation talk (suppositories vs. laxatives), hospital horror stories, and whether couples who don't fart in front of each other are living a lie. Tom reveals his new fear of contact lenses, Christina roasts his glasses, and finally both spiral into laughter over the reincarnation of a YMH legend on a college campus. What's Up There Chomo? Your Mom's House Ep. 835 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:54 - Wife Swap God Warrior 00:09:45 - Opening Clip: No Poop For You 00:12:25 - Good Old Fashioned Brown Talk 00:21:19 - Race Swap Reality Show 00:28:24 - Apartheid Museum 00:31:16 - Clip: Gas Station Photographer 00:35:17 - Dad Eyes 00:40:31 - A New FedSmoker? 00:52:22 - Crazy American Melts Down On Boat 00:56:11 - Christina's Curations 01:08:41 - Wrap Up 01:09:48 - Closing Song - "Vocal Fry Jam" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dean Gonzalez returns to the podcast to chop it up with Randy. The guys have a raw, uninhibited and hilarious conversation about past U.S. presidents, the D.A.R.E. drug program, Governor Gavin Newsom and the next Democratic presidential nominee, Donald Trump's latest controversies, peace in the Middle East, money in politics, living up to your word and having values, the Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime show, and other general ball-busting.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  U.S. Presidents 05:00  The D.A.R.E. Program 10:00  Gavin Newsom 13:00  Donald Trump's Latest Controversies 16:00  Peace in the Middle East 30:00  Money in Politics 45:00  Living Up to Your Word 1:00:00  Bad Bunny and the Super Bowl Halftime Show 1:10:00  Breaking Balls 1:15:00  Speaking Truth to Power     New Episodes Every Wednesday:

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get up to $3 million in coverage in as little as 10 minutes at https://ethos.com/YMH. Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Happy Hallow Jeans! Welcome to a very spooky and very fashionable episode of Your Mom's House!

Well, Family, today Your Mom and Dad are covering Golden Bachelor Mel's Hometown dates…and it's truly unlike any they have ever seen. They discuss Mel giving all the women ZERO reassurance, Mel definitely not seeming interested in proposing at all, the women's wonderful families, Peg and Cindy's daughters not being impressed with Mel, their theory on the surprising Rose Ceremony, and much more! ***Tune in Friday (10/31) for the Women Tell All recap! Check out “Beast in My Bonnet” here: https://beastinmybonnet.com  THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***NUTRAFOL: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at https://www.Nutrafol.com with promo code MOMDAD ***INDACLOUD: If you're 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code MOMDAD at https://inda.shop/MOMDAD # indacloudpod ***MINNESOTA NICE: Go to https://www.mnniceethno.com/momanddad and use code MOMANDDAD 22 for 22% off your first order! ***REMI: Go to https://www.shopremi.com/MOMDAD and use CODE MOMDAD to get up to 50% off your nightguard at checkout!

Tom's traveling across Texas, Amarillo on Nov. 1st, then Lubbock on Nov. 2nd and El Paso on Nov. 6th. Make sure to get your tickets at ⁠https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Men's at ⁠https://SKIMS.com⁠. - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠https://monarchmoney.com/ymh - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Tom Segura and Christina P. welcome world-renowned mentalist Oz Pearlman to Your Mom's House! Oz stuns the crew with mind-blowing mental tricks, wild psychological insights, and a peek behind the curtain of how he reads people. From guessing Tom's childhood crush to revealing impossible inside jokes, Oz leaves everyone speechless. Plus, Tom and Christina talk Killarney drunks, pickup artist “Mystery,” and the weirdest viral videos on the internet. Your Mom's House Ep. 833 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:04 - Opening Clip: Master Of Redneck Accents 00:10:07 - Sham From Killarney 00:17:39 - Clip: No Neck 00:20:16 - Clip: Coochie Confrontation 00:23:03 - Mystery Is Back 00:35:32 - Oz Pearlman Is Here To Blow Our Minds 00:41:07 - Show N Tell 00:46:35 - Ryan Gets Got 00:54:18 - How'd You Get A Job Here? 01:03:16 - Entertaining Steven Spielberg & Other Heroes 01:12:42 - Christine's Turn 01:19:29 - Enny Hates This 01:22:38 - Birthday Money Trick 01:27:07 - Wrap Up 01:29:23 - Closing Song - "It's A Surprise" by DJ Wet Nut Sack Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While she's normally aggressive with the media, Karoline Leavitt took things to a new level when she levied a playground-level response at a reporter. Steve Schmidt reacts to the "Your Mom" comment and explains exactly what type of person Leavitt is. Subscribe for more and follow me here:Substack: https://steveschmidt.substack.com/subscribeStore: https://thewarningwithsteveschmidt.com/Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/thewarningses.bsky.socialFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/SteveSchmidtSES/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thewarningsesInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewarningses/X: https://x.com/SteveSchmidtSESSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Podcast-favorite Jeff Zenisek makes his triumphant return to the show this week! The fellas down for a raw, uninhibited and hilarious conversation about being young and rich, new sports statistics, the awkward teenage years, drugs in the 90's, Ozempic and food science, psychedelics, old school cars, your real body count, the mafia and government surveillance, the ICE raids, Ivy League universities, starting a new religion, and MLM scams.    Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Being Young and Rich 05:00  Sports Statistics 08:00  Awkward Teenage Years 11:00  Drugs in the 90's 16:00  Ozempic and Food Science 23:00  Psychedelics 32:00  Old School Cars 36:00  Real Body Count 40:00  The Mob and Government Surveillance 47:00  Getting Arrested by ICE 50:00  Ivy League Universities 57:00  Starting a New Church 1:15:00  Multi-Level Marketing Scams     New Episodes Every Wednesday:

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has gone viral after using a "Your Mom" joke to dress down a journalist. So is this a fireable offence? Probably not, but it does speak to the current mood in media-politics relations in the US. Plus, the origin of yo mama jokes cuts deeper than we realise. And in headlines today, Telstra has tested phones in the wake of customers in another network outage being unable to contact Triple 0, finding there are a range of older Samsung model phones that are unable to connect to the Vodafone network as a backup; The Director of the Louvre museum in Paris says the building’s ageing camera system failed to detect the thieves who stole the French crown jewels on Sunday in enough time to prevent it from happening; King Charles will publicly pray with the Pope today, the first time a British monarch has done so since King Henry the VIII broke away from the Catholic Church and created the Church of England; Australia’s worst boss has been revealed 'The Battle Buffoon' making his employee watch as he reenacted battle scenes with soldier figurines during his lunch break THE END BITS Support independent women's media Check out The Quicky Instagram here GET IN TOUCHShare your story, feedback, or dilemma! Send us a voice note or email us at thequicky@mamamia.com.au CREDITS Hosts: Taylah Strano & Claire Murphy Guest: Yvette, Mamamia's HR boss Audio Producer: Lu HillBecome a Mamamia subscriber: https://www.mamamia.com.au/subscribeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Need for Voter ID, "Your Mom", and the College Coaching Carousel is Getting Very InterestingLive Show Tuesday and Thursday, 3pm est.SOCIALS: https://linktr.ee/drewberquist NEWS: https://DrewBerquist.com MERCH: https://RedBeachNation.com#DrewBerquist #ThisIsMyShow #TIMSTop 100 Political News Podcast with https://www.millionpodcasts.com/political-news-podcasts/#1 Counterterrorism Podcast on Feedspot: https://podcast.feedspot.com/counter_terrorism_podcasts/Show Notes/Links:Schwarzenegger demands all 50 states have voter ID, voting holidayhttps://x.com/dom_lucre/status/1980257664690012305Karoline Leavitt drops "your mom" response on Huffington Post reporterhttps://x.com/FoxNews/status/1980597190419706231Carson Beck Heisman odds crumble after Louisville loss, 4 interceptionshttps://x.com/CFBRep/status/1979374300508365291Billy Napier out at Floridahttps://x.com/espn/status/1979971130271121728FSU says they are 'fully committed' to Mike Norvell for rest of seasonhttps://x.com/On3sports/status/1980272660786319796UCLA football remaining schedulehttps://x.com/MikeRegaladoLA/status/1977240476597338383New college football AP Top 25 pollhttps://x.com/On3sports/status/1979971604454002962Image Credit:© Stephen Lew-Imagn Images© Matthew O'Haren-Imagn ImagesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 11 Weekend Drama In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             We make the friends we have, not the ones we want, because they are people, not tools                       "Hi, I'm Rio," my buddy muttered darkly as she followed me inside, "I'm the girl standing next to the guy you just mugged." Allison went pounding up the stairs and I was left to a chorus of 'Hi, Zane', and we even got a few 'Hey, Metal Girl' greetings (Rio had all fourteen of her piercings back in). Right as Leigh, dressed in super-tight jeans and a pink bra, and Allison came down the stairs, Tawny came from the direction of the kitchen. "Zane," Leigh and Tawny said one right after the other, but Tawny's carried the greater weight. "Zane, we need to talk," Tawny demanded. Rio growled menacingly. "I apologize. Hello, Rio." There was a hush in the room and even Leigh looked contrite. "Zane, Kappa Sigma does not condone violence of any kind. If you ever thought we wanted you fighting our battles for us, you were sorely mistaken," Tawny explained. "Are we clear?" "Okay, I understand, but, how did you know? I didn't tell anyone anything about what was said," I wondered. "You should have never put your neck out for these Sorority bitches," Rio snapped. "Hang on, Rio. I did what I did for my own reasons, not for them," I calmed my friend. Rio was clearly not making friends but Tawny held up her hands for peace. "You didn't even tell her, your best friend, did you?" Tawny smiled with surprised satisfaction. "Christina knows, but that is understandable and she's told no one except me." I looked at her for some explanation. "It seems two co-eds from the University thought you might be in trouble and followed you. They covered your exit from the building, the argument, and the fight that followed," Tawny grinned. "They posted it on their site. By 10:00 this morning, everyone knew." "Except for us idiots with limited internet access," groaned Rio. "My fellow Kappa Sigma presidents wanted to make sure everyone knew that we had nothing to do with your actions," she completed. "That being said," she stepped up and hugged me, "Thank you." I received a round of applause from the gathered sisters. "Fine. Would someone tell me what my idiot friend did?" Rio griped. "Rio," Leigh snickered as she snuck to my side and wrapped an arm around me, "those three assholes called the Kappa Sigma House a bunch of whores and then told him they were going to rape Chastity and Hope, then come and rape Paris and me when they were done." And that's when Rio hit me. "Moron, why couldn't you tell the police this? They don't put you in jail for defending women under imminent threat," Rio snapped. "I think that was the point," Tawny sighed at Rio. "He didn't want to drag us into what was essentially his choice; just like he kept Chastity and Hope out of things." "Because he's a dumb-shit," Rio declared. "Rio," Tawny groaned, "be happy Zane has personality to spare, because you work really hard at having no other friends. I put up with your crap because Zane thinks the world of you and he's not been wrong about a person yet." "Wow, Tawny, I'm so touched," Rio sneered sarcastically. Before anything else could happen I grabbed Rio by her nipple chain and elevated it rapidly. "Ow, ow, ow, whimpered Rio. "That hurts!" "It supposed to," I glowered. "You are acting crazy. The Kappa Sigs are being nice and all you are doing is burning through the weekend time I've devoted to you." I let go and her hands flew up to her offended flesh. "You had better kiss them and make them better," Rio glared at me while cupping her nipples. "I promise," I pledged. "Fine. Tawny, all you Kappa Sigs, I apologize for being, unfriendly," Rio ground out. "Okay," Tawny allowed. "Now, Zane, what brings you here tonight?" "Zane came here to see me," Leigh grinned, as she started tugging me toward the stairs. "Leigh," Paris questioned, "don't you have a date tonight?" Leigh looked guilty. "Zane, why are you here?" Tawny asked again. "Actually, I need help with my English term paper. I'm doing it on Edmund Burke and I was hoping to use the UV library," I told her. "Of course," Tawny nodded. "I'll get the pledges to figure what books and archival material we have on Burke and I'm sure we can find a few volunteers to check out what you need." "Thanks, Tawny. And on that note, I do really have to get going. I promised Aunt Jill we'd help with dinner," I smiled. Tawny grinned in response and waved me away. A series of 'bye's followed, after which Rio and I made our way back home. "So, are you upset that I didn't tell you what happened?" I inquired. "Nah," Rio shrugged. "I imagine you were trying to avoid the beating I would have given you had I found out this morning." "Thank you for understanding," I commented. "No problem; you are my bro," she snorted. "Do you still want me to work over your nipples?" I asked. "Is the Pope Catholic?" Rio smirked. Passing the Night in Confusion I sat at one end of the sofa, Rio stretched out with her head in my lap as we digested our dinners. Jill sat on the chair closest to me, watching TV but stealing an overprotective glance my way from time to time. My aunt and I had a serious argument earlier about where Rio would sleep. She had insisted that Rio sleep in the guest room Barbie Lynn had used last weekend. I had held adamant to the fact that it didn't matter where we put her, Rio would end up in bed with me. I swore on the Bible that I wouldn't have sex with her if Jill relented and let Rio stay in my bed over the weekend instead. I won out through persistence and because I went down on my knees and begged. To add to the weirdness, Rio was downright affectionate. No, she was not feeling me up or attempting to arouse me; she snuggled against me and would occasionally rub my knee while I stroked her hair, ear, and jawline gently. At 10:00 we agreed to call it a day. Rio was kind enough to only shed her jeans once we were in my room. Rio draped an arm over my stomach and her thigh over my thigh as we drifted off to sleep. It was wonderful contact because the sexual elements were submerged to keep the moment uncomplicated. It was so special that I was disappointed when I woke up hours later with Rio lying on top of my body and my cock had, of course, responded. Damn it. "Zane, there is someone at the window," she whispered to me. It then occurred to me that Rio had been crawling over me to get to my window, which was over a trellis. It was the route Leigh had used last week too. We both scooted off the bed and went to the window. It was Paris, not Leigh. "Zane, Leigh needs you," Paris pleaded softly once we opened the window for her to get in. "Let me get dressed," I responded quietly, this being necessary because I sleep in the nude. "I'm coming too," Rio hissed. We quickly got on some jeans and I put on a shirt before we snuck through the house and out the front door. Bare-footed, we crossed over to the Kappa Sigma house and up to Leigh and Paris' room. Leigh was curled up on her bed, a pillow hugged to her chest and her back to the door. Paris stepped aside and let me in. I padded up to Leigh's bed and sat beside her. Paris and Rio fidgeted by the door a bit before migrating toward Paris' bed where they could keep an eye on us. "You don't need to be here," Leigh mumbled. She'd been crying. "I heard a rumor that you needed someone to talk to," I teased her. She didn't comment for a bit. "Zane, I'm sorry," she sobbed. "About what?" I asked as I moved her so she was facing me on her side. "The video; I didn't think about how badly it could impact your life, what people would think of you," she muttered. "Don't worry about it; I'll cope," I assured her. "I'm not sure I can," she simpered. "Tell me what happened," I encouraged. "There was this guy on campus I knew since last semester. Tuesday he asked me out. We went out on a date but he forgot his wallet so I paid for dinner, and we went back to his apartment to get it before heading out to a club," she told me. "The thing was, he had two friends over and while he went to his room to get his wallet, they began talking about me, about you and me. I wanted to bolt but he convinced me to stay and have a drink. When I tried to leave they got physical, and only when I started screaming did they let me get out of there," she related. "Who is he?" I asked calmly. "No," Leigh sighed, "I don't want you to hurt him. It is my fault for not thinking that everyone would see me as a slut." "You are not a slut and anyone who thinks so is an insecure ass and not worth your time. That video was a single snapshot of your life; it doesn't define you," I stated. "But all those girls now treat you, she murmured. "If they treat me like crap, I move on. Listen Leigh, don't let a few people who could never look past your cup size ruin what was a good time for you, Paris, and I. We don't need them because we still have each other; right?" I insisted. Leigh snuggled into me and sighed away some of her tension. "Can you stay awhile?" Leigh asked softly. "You have to ask Rio; this is her weekend after all," I reminded Leigh. "Sure, he can stay," grumbled Rio playfully, "but scoot over; I'm joining you two." I was on the outside, Leigh was tight up against me, her head pressed into my neck, and Rio was against the wall, her front pressed into Leigh's back and her arm over both of us. "Zane, what am I going to do on Monday? What are they going to say now?" Leigh whispered. "Laugh; laugh against the darkness, because while we can laugh, we cannot be defeated," I told her. "When someone asks about it, tell them he was such a disappointment you left." "I was going to say, call him a psycho-rapist scumbag," Rio snarled, "but if you feel nice, listen to what Zane said." Leigh gave a weary snicker. "Thanks, Paris," she called over to her roommate. "You are welcome, Sister," Paris responded. I set Leigh's alarm for four in the morning and settled in for a short night's rest. When the buzzing woke the three of us up, I rolled out of bed, Rio climbed out over Leigh, and we kissed Leigh goodbye. On the way down the stairs we stumbled across Tawny sitting by the pool. "Hey, Zane, Rio," she said. "Good morning, Tawny," I responded. Rio was silent. "Zane, if she had given you his name, would you have gone and kicked his ass?" she questioned. "No; that wouldn't have done Leigh any good. I'd have found another way to get at him, but I'd have taken my time," I replied. "I'd like to think I occasionally learn something." "Thank you, Zane, for the answer and coming to help Leigh; you too, Rio," Tawny smirked. "You know me," Rio chuckled, "I'll never pass up a chance to grab some of that cheap Sorority tail." "Rio, you have a good friend in Zane; don't lose him," Tawny advised her. "I know; I'm getting a dog collar and leash for Christmas so I can keep him in line," Rio beamed to Tawny. Tawny chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "Just for that, you get to sleep on the floor for the rest of the morning," I grumbled to Rio. "You try that, Jungle-Boy," Rio snapped playfully as we made our way to the property line. "I'm going to staple-gun your bra to the floor," I explained. "I'm not wearing a bra," Rio snorted. "Yeah, wrestling you into one is going to be half the fun," I teased her. Rio laughed and took off running. We were still snickering over events when we snuck back into my room. Aunt Jill was curled up on my side of the bed asleep in her nightgown. Rio looked at me questioningly and all I could do was shrug. I walked over to the bell and knelt beside Jill. "Zane, I came in to check on you and you two were gone," she yawned. "Leigh had a bad date and Paris asked me to go over and have a talk with her," I related. "Did you, have sex with her?" Jill asked as he propped herself up on one elbow. Her breasts nearly spilled out of the partially buttoned top. I tried not to ogle. "No," Rio interjected. "He held her hand and let her rest her head on his shoulder until she fell asleep. Trust me; I kept an eye on them the entire time." "Yes," I confirmed Rio's statement, "she had been treated shabbily and needed to talk to a guy." "Zane, do you really want to be sneaking into young women's bedrooms well past midnight?" Jill inquired, somewhat exasperated. My initial answer would be 'Yes', but that certainly wouldn't be the correct one for right now. "Jill, it would have been unchristian to have ignored a neighbor's request for aid," I suggested. "After all, it was Leigh that saw to it that I didn't totally screw up your new clothes collection." Jill digested that bit of news with conflicted emotions. "Let's go to bed," I yawned. Jill stared at me, so I stepped over her and collapsed on the bed. Rio winked at me and walked around to the far side of the bed, wiggled out of her jeans and climbed in on her side of the bed. I was still in my jeans mainly because I didn't have underwear on. "Night, Aunt Jill," I muttered before dropping off. It was inevitable that bedroom dynamics would push me to the edge of the bed. Rio has the habit of wrapping herself around her bed partner while she sleeps, it is a body-heat issue. It seems that Jill does the same thing, so as the skyline went from night to grey, the heat of their combined bodies woke me up. For a moment I thought I was the only one awake but I felt Rio's hand run along my thigh to my crotch. She moved her hand up and down over it for a few moments when I felt her head tilt and her look at me. Our eyes locked and a wicked glint came into her eyes. Her hand wandered over my hip to Jill's thigh that was resting there. I incrementally shook my head but Rio flexed her eyebrows in amusement, refusing my warning. Instead, she inched Jill's gown up and began tracing a finger along its length. Jill stirred but fell silent in a moment. "Don't!" I hissed. Rio gave me a toothy grin in response. I couldn't move my arm that was pinned by Jill but I could maneuver the one next to Rio. I wiggled my arm between her legs and she ground against me, trying to press me too tight to get free. Upping her game, Rio reached up and scooped up Jill's right breast. Jill stirred and we both froze. "Stop it!" I hissed. "Her nipple is so hard in my hand," she taunted me. Jill shifted, causing her gown to shift up to her hips when her leg moved, and dropping her hand on my abdomen while pressing her groin against my wrist. When she went still, Rio went back to massaging her breast. First came the moans, then Jill's hips gently pumped against me, and finally her eyes sleepily opened. Rio and I had shut our eyes barely a second ago but it seemed enough to make her believe we were still asleep. It took her another second to figure out where Rio's hand was, then another to figure out that pressure between her legs was my wrist and hand. She stiffened and held her breath. Slowly she started to untangle herself but I felt Rio's hand flex. "Ah," Jill gasped. Her hand flattened against my stomach and her body trembled. Jill kept very still for several moments and I figured she'd take the opportunity to slip out of bed and let me settle down for some more sleep. She did move; her head rose and I'm sure she was looking over me and Rio for signs of life. She slowly put her head back down and moved her hand around in slow circles on my stomach. Jill kissed my shoulder softly but I elected to stir anyway, causing her to feign sleep as well. Rio couldn't let things go, though. She gave Jill's breast a squeeze, then another, followed by a low moan on my friend's part. I really needed to kick Rio. Jill began to rub her crotch along my arm while flitting her hand down to the zipper on my jeans. Reflexively my hand stroked her thigh just below the panty line. For over a minute Jill kept her tempo against me slow but steady. "Zane?" groaned Rio, pretending to just be awakened. Jill slowly withdrew. Rio gave Jill's breast one last feel. "That's not Zane," Rio whispered for dramatic effect, then louder, "Jill?" "Oh, what? Huh?" Jill stammered. "Umm, is that your hand?" "Oh," Rio mused, then gave yet another squeeze, "Whoops; that would be me. Sorry." "I, what are you doing?" Jill whispered. "I was having this sweet dream," Rio grinned back. "I, you, my," Jill questioned. I took that moment to stir and open my eyes. "What's going on?" I yawned. "Nothing," Jill declared abruptly. "I should get up and make breakfast." "Jill, it is still dark outside," I smiled. "Let's go back to bed." "I'll go to my bed, Zane. You get back to sleep and I'll wake you at 7:00," Jill assured me. She backed out of bed and quickly made for the door. "You are going to pay for this," I grumbled to Rio. She rolled onto her stomach. "That's right, Big Daddy, spank my bottom and call me a bad girl," she giggled. "Oh, God!" I groaned to the ceiling. "You are incorrigible." "If it is any consolation, I wuv you," Rio batted her eyelashes. I swatted her panty-covered bottom; she giggled and I willed myself back to sleep. Saturday with Rio and so much more. The First Game The first soccer game of the season was against Braydon College in Maryland. They were a very exclusive private co-ed college but were large enough to have both a women's and men's team. Today was Christina's second match-up against Braydon. Last year they had beaten her and she was holding a grudge, or so the scuttleass said. As the half-time break rolled around, the teams had managed a 1-1 tie. Three Braydon players in their black shirts and burgundy shorts crossed the field and were intercepted by Christina, in white and gold, on the sidelines. A brief discussion ensued, then Christina looked over her shoulder and up into the stands close to where I was sitting with Rio. Iona was at my dorm, taking care of things. Faith came up the stands to me with a quizzical look and motioned me to come with her. "What's up, Faith?" I asked, as I stood up and followed her to the field. Rio followed along. "Some of the Braydon players wanted to see you," Faith explained. "Who do you know at Braydon?" "Not a clue," I shrugged. "I'd never even heard of the place until I saw the team's schedule." As we walked up, several more FFU players had gathered around the Braydon trio. "I am Kinu Yamada, Captain of the Braydon Women's Soccer team and Kappa Sigma President," the leader turned and greeted me. "You, look better in other attire." "They field test this stuff to be the ultimate in female repellent," I grinned, referring to my school uniform. "Now, is there something I can do for you? I'm afraid I don't know who you are." "Well, Braydon's Kappa Sigmas are in a contest with several other houses for that Spring Break weekend with you and I wanted to see what we were getting into," Kinu grinned. "Weekend?" Christina and I said simultaneously. "I recall the original offer being one night and Brianna Kincaid of Colorado State being the one I was pledged to," I added. "We decided to up the ante for the purpose of a contest," Kinu stated. "What contest, Ms. Yamada?" Christina inquired with a guarded tone. "The House with the best G P A and athletic record gets to send three sisters to share the weekend with Zane Braxton," Kinu explained. "He agreed to this?" Christina questioned. "He did not," I corrected. "Unless Briana releases me from my obligation, I can't do any of that stuff. She is the one I'm indebted to." "She has done so for the sake of her sisterhood," Kinu informed me. "Are you still up for the challenge?" "I'll do it for the sake of Lancaster's Kappa Sigma House, but I'll leave the final decision up to Christina, leader of our faction here at Freedom Fellowship," I declared. Christina appeared to think it over a bit before finally nodding her head. "FFU owes Tawny Flores and the rest of the local house a debt and if Zane is willing to pay it off for us, we'll support your contest and his decision, though it will take place at FFU's Spring Break location." "I'll let everyone know," Kinu grinned before turning and crossing back to their side of the field. "Christina, where is our Spring Break location?" I whispered to her. "I haven't a clue, Zane. Christian school girls don't do Spring Break," she replied. "I'll come up with something." I wished her luck and headed up into the stands. "Barely a B-cup, but did you catch the ass on that sweet slice of Asian cuisine?" Rio panted. "I wouldn't know; those were the most intense brown eyes I've ever seen. That's a woman who knows what she wants and will cut a bloody swath to get it," I observed. "So, you didn't notice her breast size?" Rio teased. "I didn't say that, she's a 32 B, but she has large areoles and nipples as thick as my pinkie," I told her. "How do you know that shit?" Rio gawked. "Mom took me lingerie shopping when I was younger and I picked up on how the saleswomen did their jobs," I replied. "Your Mom took you lingerie shopping? My Mom could barely tell me how to use a tampon," Rio griped. "Mom told me that the only thing worse than buying a woman lingerie for her birthday was buying it in the wrong size," I related. "You buy those things on your birthday for your lady to look sexy in, for you to enjoy." "Your Mom sounds pretty neat," Rio mused. "Mom had a way of tricking you into thinking she was your friend, not your Mother, then she'd sneak this lesson in on you; like lingerie shopping, or not getting a pet you couldn't devote the time to," I told her. "She'd have loved you." "Hardy, har, har," Rio snorted. "Seriously, you're similar enough to have gotten along, but not so much that it would be creepy," I explained. "She didn't take crap from anyone; not my Dad, my Granddad, or even her old man. She'd never abandon a friend either." "I'm not like that, Zane," Rio muttered sadly. "If you've left someone, it was because they weren't your friend, Rio," I assured her. "You are such an idiot," she grumbled, but she did put her hand in mine. "Let's fuck tonight." "Nope; we promised Jill we wouldn't, and besides, next time I nail you I want you on all fours, with me pounding your cunt raw while yanking your head back with a big handful of your hair," I envisioned for us. "Would you like that?" "Damn straight," Rio licked her lips. "Well, tough, next time we get together I'm going to make long, passionate love to you," I grinned. "I prefer option A," she prodded me. "I know, but that's only because you've never had option B," I countered. "Zane, sometimes a girl wants to be treated like a cheap slut," Rio instructed. "Has someone ever spent a whole night devoted to nothing less than having sex with you?" I asked. "Yes, of course," Rio grumbled. "I'm freaking Cleopatra. I've got guys lining up the block." "Well, damn; I guess we are back to bending you over and slamming you like a cheap slut," I teased. "I see I'm too much of a woman for you," she sneered with amusement. "That's a challenge I'm willing to take up, Rio. If you think you can stand up to whatever I can think up for you, I'm willing to prove you wrong," I grinned. "I'll make it fun; I'll bring Mercy and have her be a piece of furniture," Rio suggested. "I still don't know how that happened," I said, in reference to Rio's relationship to Mercy. "I'm not sure either," Rio confessed. "Maybe being such a pervert myself, I bring out perversions in those around me. Only Iona seems immune." "Oh, it looks like Rhaine, Joy, Mercy, and I are going to have a round two," I remembered. "Oh, I want part of that," Rio brightened up, "I am going to fuck Rhaine so hard she won't walk straight for a week. You let her off too easy last time." "No," I shook my finger. "I'm not sure how this is going to play out so if you want Rhaine, you are going to have to seduce her all on your own." "Crapola," Rio bitched. "I'll have to settle for corrupting Felicity first but I'll get Rhaine one day, mark my words." Our attention was drawn back to the game when Opal scored our second goal of the day, propelling us to the lead. Apparently, the battle had become quite brutal while Rio and I had been talking. There was nothing like woman-on-woman combat to keep Rio's attention and for the rest of the second half we watched the game with interest. In the end, FFU pulled it out 4-3, but that was only because both goalies put in heroic performances. No one charged the field after the final seconds slipped away because apparently they frown on that in the United States, but I still made my way down to congratulate my fellow students. In the gentle press of bodies I came across Opal who spun on me, jumped into my arms and took my breath away with a kiss. Since this was not the norm for FFU student interaction, I did my best to look embarrassed while keeping Opal pressed up against me. "Congrats on the win," I smiled. "We get to keep you," Opal exulted. Huh? "Christina told us that if we lost, we had to give you to Braydon for the rest of the day and night, but we showed them, didn't we?" "Yes, right, you sure did," I stuttered. A few more teammates stopped by and gave me a slap on the back, or ass, while I hung onto Opal, but I had to disentangle myself because I still wanted to have a word with Christina. I hadn't traveled ten more feet when Kinu appeared before me. "Sorry," she told me with a smile. "Sorry, for losing?" I questioned. Her ponytail had become ragged during the game so I pushed some strands out of her face and hooked them behind her ear, which only made her smile broader. "No. I'm sorry we won't have another chance at you until Regionals," she grinned lasciviously. "There is something I don't get; you are a co-ed school. I'm the only guy on this campus, which explains some of my charm, but you look like you could have any guy on your campus you want, so what's up with this contest?" I inquired. "I don't know," she chuckled, "but it could be that you fuck like a stallion and a girl feels like a million bucks when you are done. You know, something like that." She reached out and ran her fingers down my chest to the top of my pants. "One thing; get a fake ID because I know any girl who gets you is going to want to take you to a few clubs, you need to look 21." "Yeah," Rio snorted, "because Zane doesn't have enough problems with the law already." "Excuse me," Christina said right after that, putting her hand on Kinu's. "I believe any confusion concerning Zane has been rectified." "For now," Kinu allowed, looking from my eyes to Christina's. "See you at Regionals." Kinu turned and with a flip of her long ponytail made her way to the far side of the field. "You wagered Zane!" Rio squawked to Christina, "After all the crap you give him?" "We won so we don't have to worry about what Kinu would have made him do," the Queen answered. "Shower up," I saluted Christina, "and congratulations on the win. I know you were looking forward to it." "We look forward to winning every game," Christina grinned. "So do I; maybe we can celebrate later at the Solarium," I suggested. "We have to take the Braydon team out to a late lunch, then the post-game meeting with the Coach, but maybe later," Christina allowed. She turned and sauntered away and I was more than willing to watch that ass move beneath those shorts. "She is so going to kill you when she finds out," Rio whispered in my ear. "She'll forgive me, but it may take some time," I explained. "When she sided with me, she accepted a certain degree of ruthlessness on my part." "You think you are being ruthless?" Rio sneered. "When you have everything else in life, what you value most is trust, Rio," I stated. "Now let's go see how my room is getting along." Dana Gorman was righteously pissed when she came storming up to my dorm 'room'. A dozen students rapidly made themselves scarce as word of her imminent arrival was made known. "I don't know how you did this, Zane, but I'm putting a stop to this right now," she snapped. "What? Everything I'm doing, I have permission for," I grinned, and I was pretty happy she didn't knock my teeth out of my head when she rounded on me. "That's bullshit! You forged my signature on those entry permits," she snarled. "Nope. You signed them, though it is most likely you thought you were signing something else at the time," I confessed. "This isn't some kind of game," she countered. "All of this stuff is going back to wherever you bought it from." "Hauling things away will be on your dime," I said. "You and the Chancellor did give me permission to fix my place up and that is what I've done. You will note that all my contractors are women, per school regulations." "And all this furniture? When did we give permission to have all of this put in?" Gorman countered. "You may not like it but I'm not doing anything illegal," I pointed out. "It doesn't mean I can't tear it all down," she growled. "Dana, you and the other facility promised me this space. Go ahead and tear it all down. I'll just find another way to do it," I promised. "You are an insufferable little prick," she hissed. "Yeah, I can be," I agreed, "but at least I haven't done all of this for my sole benefit. I made it for the whole freshman class." Dana looked around the room. "It is not like I need the whole floor for myself, after all." "What have you done?" she grumbled. "I've made a place for the freshman class to hang out. Since it is my dorm room, they are safe from upper classmen," I reminded her. Gorman glared at me, then went back to soaking up the surroundings. "Wide-Screen TVs, drink dispensers, what is that?" Dana observed. "Umm, our hot tub," I grinned nervously. "And that, the coach continued. "Those would be the showers and the sauna," I answered. "Zane, have you lost your God-damn mind?" Dana seethed. "We are not going to let you keep any of that stuff." "Well, it is 4:00 o'clock now and the installers are either finished or almost finished, so I guess you can try to find someone willing to take it down tomorrow but that's going to cost an arm and a leg," I mused. Dana rounded on me and stuck her finger in my face. "Zane, I, gurr," she growled. "Aargh!" she howled, then stormed off back downstairs. Iona came skulking up to my side. "Did we pull it off?" she whispered. "Yeah, yeah, I think we did," I responded. Cordelia and Paige came right up behind her. "So, can we hook up the satellite dishes now?" Cordelia asked. "I don't think she'll be back tonight so I'd appreciate it if you got it done before dark," I told her. "One thousand channels coming up," Cordelia smirked, "and I have to say, this is going to be my second favorite place to hang out." "I don't know, Cordelia," Paige said in a considerate tone, "what can help you deal better with a hard day of coding than a sauna and a V-8?" "Was that all you are interested in?" Iona questioned. "I was curious why I found you crawling under the covers of Zane's bed." The albino Paige blushed furiously. "The sensation is far superior when you do it naked, Paige," I stated with a gleam in my eye. "Feel free to come by sometime and try it out." Instead of responding, Paige stalked off to fix up the telecommunications gear. Cordelia snickered and followed after her. "Where is Rio?" Iona wondered. "She went hunting for Mercy, but she needs to get back in the next half hour if I'm going to make it back to Jill's by five," I informed her. The plan had been one part deception and one part splitting of resources. We had let the powers that be know the move was being made Sunday when it was really happening today. With the first game of the season, we had campus security looking at the game and not at us. We had the proper forms for what we were accomplishing that baffled the few security types we had to deal with. By the time Coach Gorman broke free from the team, it was essentially too late to stop us. Monday would bring what Monday would bring, but today we had our victory. Besides, we had the new door in place and that would make any operations by the administration against my digs much harder. My contractors informed me they would have everything up and running by 9:00 tonight. Rio was the first to arrive but Christina and company arrived with the three Kappa Sigmas from Braydon, almost all of them expecting to see a single room. Christina was once more pissed with me and I knew that attitude would get worse before it got better. "Christina, and ladies, please come with me to my room. I have an important situation to discuss," I pleaded. Catching sight of Brandi, I flagged her over. "Brandi, could you show our guests from Braydon around while I take care of a piece of personal business?" "Kinu, Kappa Sigmas from Braydon, I'll be with you in a minute and apologize for the delay," I told them with a nod of the head before heading off to my room and activating the rooms 'cut off' switch. Rio and Iona came with me, along with Christina, Hope, Chastity, Heaven, and Faith. "You told the Seniors that you were doing this on Sunday and I made plans for us to help you, Zane," Christina rounded on me. "I apologize for the deception, but it was necessary to finding out something important; namely, who was spying on you," I informed everyone in the room but Rio. I hadn't even told Iona the whole truth. "What was the purpose of this deception, Zane, this lie?" Christina questioned me harshly. "Someone in this room betrayed Heaven's secret and a few other pieces of information that have been floating around a very small circle of people, things like me moving in today," I began. "Oh, and Iona doesn't know the secret, so Iona, I hope you understand that certain things are not for me to share with you, but I trust you enough to have you here with me now." "So that's why you told Hope and I your little secret about today," Chastity stated coldly. "You were testing us. I'm not sure I like that." Hope looked even less pleased. "Yes and no; I actually was only testing Hope. I already knew you weren't the one," I replied to Chastity. Again, Hope didn't seem all that happy. "But I didn't get raided today so it wasn't either of you. For obvious reasons, Christina isn't spying on herself, and it would be a cold day in Hell before Heaven would betray Christina, so, Faith, you have been working with the Chancellor against us," I laid it out. Faith gasped fearfully. "Faith has been with me since sophomore year," Christina defended her friend, "which is a sight longer than I've known you." "Two things: it had to be someone who knew that secret, and only the people in this room, one police officer, and the Chancellor know. The cop didn't betray us and Rio didn't know until after the threat," I clarified. "If you have another explanation of the facts, please let me know," I confronted Christina. "Face it, the Chancellor knew you would be a force at this University late in your freshmen year, so she chose someone to get close to you, to keep an eye on you so she could manipulate you when the time came." Christina refused to believe me but I noted Heaven, Hope, and Chastity were all staring at Faith. "It's not so," Faith declared. "Oh, I guess you want to see all the logs of your communications with the Chancellor, then, eh, Faith?" I goaded her. "You weren't as careful as you thought." "Oh, God," Faith whispered. "No, " "Damn it, Faith," Christina rumbled, "that was the most obvious trick in the book. He had no other evidence against you. He fooled you. After all, he didn't even know it was you until late this morning." She placed a hand on Heaven's shoulder because Heaven was about to lose it. "I'd thank you, Zane," Christina said in a suddenly weary voice, "but what I really want to do is punch your lights out." "What do we do about Faith?" Chastity questioned. "Nothing," I butted in. "This doesn't involve you," Hope grumbled. "I beg to differ," I said, "I like all of you and it pisses me off that you are suffering, but this isn't Faith's fault; it is the Chancellor's. If you dump on Faith, she will know we've discovered Faith's role. If we do nothing, we can now feed information to her, but only what we want her to know." "Butt out, Zane," Heaven responded coldly. "No. If you fight yesterday's battles, we get our asses kicked. There is no profit in it for us," I kept hammering away. "She was our friend and she betrayed us," Chastity fired away. "You wouldn't understand." "What? Oh, hell no!" I snapped. "I had to sit there and take her threats about Heaven with a smile on my face, and then I had to crack a joke about it when I knew she was capable of breaking Heaven's heart. Don't you dare tell me I am not invested in this fight. She comes after me, that's fine, but when she comes after my friend, she must pay." "I may not have been with you for the past three years but don't you dare tell me I'm not invested in this fight; that's insulting," I growled. "Zane is right," Christina declared decisively. "We will act normal the rest of the day and tonight, we five will decide what to do next. Yes, Faith, I'm including you. We were once friends, after all." That last bit stung Faith a bitter blow. Christina took Heaven by the hand and led her out of my room with Faith trailing along. Hope regarded me with narrowed eyes and an icy anger. "Hope," Chastity intervened, "he trusted you with the right answer. He trusted you with his plans." "He had us set up Christina ,  and Faith," Hope seethed back. "And if he didn't? Would one of us have hunted Faith down, revealed the traitor? Hope," Chastity explained, "we couldn't do this, turn on one of our own, so we kind of left that burden on Zane, so I don't feel right hating him for trying to keep us safe, again." Hope stormed out of the room. Chastity gave me a helpless shrug then followed. "I'm stunned," muttered Iona once they were gone. "We had a traitor in our midst?" "Zane's not a total idiot," Rio joked. "I'm stunned too," I stated. "By what?" Iona asked. "Didn't this go according to your plan, whatever that was?" "No, I am stunned Rio kept her mouth shut the entire time," I grinned. Rio punched me in the arm. For me, that helped break the unbearable tension I was feeling right then. "I see your point," Iona smiled shyly. "Ow," Iona peeped, as Rio punched her too. There was still work to be done and Rio and I only had an hour to spare before heading back to Jill's. It was still wonderful to see freshmen take a look around and seeing 'their' space coming together. I even caught Kinu and company taking pictures of the place. "This will look nice on your web page," Kinu told me. "Web page?" I questioned, then pinned Iona in place with a glance. "Please, tell me about my web page." "It has all your background information, plus tons of photographs and videos of you here on campus as well as you back at your house, or the Kappa Sigma House," "Yay me," I cheered sarcastically. "There's this really nice one of you out in the woods," Kinu gave me a sly grin. "It was really, intriguing how you picked out each sister despite their masks. I can appreciate a man with an eye for detail." "Thanks, but a little more privacy in my life wouldn't suck," I groaned. "Cheer up, Zane," Kinu tipped my chin down close to her lips, "you have a fan club." "I don't pursue women to create a fan base; I do it because women are the best thing in the world, bar none," I told her. "That is why it is going to be such a pleasure owning you this spring," Kinu smiled. "Now, don't forget that ID." With that, she turned and walked away. Both of the women with her ran their hands across my stomach before following Kinu away. "Zane, I don't like the sound of that," Iona mumbled. "They treat you like a piece of meat." "It is his piece of meat they are interested in, those Sorority sluts," Rio snickered. "Well, I wish I could go to Spring Break so I could look after you," Iona sighed. "Of course, you and Rio are going with me," I looked amused. "Who else is going to protect me from doing something stupid?" "Certainly not me," chirped Rio. "Doing-Stupid-Shit is my middle name." "That explains so much about you," Iona quipped to Rio. "I don't think my parents will let me go anyway." "Lie to them," Rio responded. "No, tell them it is a learning experience and that about a dozen girls, and me, will be watching over you," I told her, "Your parents trust you and for good reason." "Will I be able to spend some time with you while I'm there?" Iona asked me. "Sure. Let me know what you want to do," I hugged her. "I hope it is Florida," Iona smiled. "I want to go to Disney World again. It was so much fun the other three times my family went." "For the love of God!" gasped Rio, "Tranquilize me first." I chuckled, Rio scowled, and we set off to do a little more work before the day was done. Breaking Down Walls, Mending Fences It was five minutes until 8:00 in the evening when the doorbell rang. Jill virtually catapulted herself from the chair she'd been fidgeting in and raced to answer it. "Hunting time," Rio grinned with predatory glee, and I found myself praying that Felicity left wearing something more than a confused, yet dreamy, smile on her face. Jill welcomed Mrs. Rochelle Wellington, the Mayor's wife, and Felicity Tolliver, fianc to Rochelle's youngest son, into our house. Rio and I stood as they entered the room. Felicity had an open and friendly expression on her face while Rochelle was much more guarded and unsure. "Hey ladies, thank you for coming by tonight," I greeted them. "Mrs. Wellington, I've been making extra notes on last meetings discussions I'd like to go over with you," I said with my most disarming smile. "Felicity, we've done this incredible renovation project at school, we students, and I'd like to show you all we've accomplished so you can, ya know, give us some pointers as to what to do next," Rio beamed with a frivolity that I found personally terrifying. "Okay," Felicity grinned back at Rio. "Let's see what you have." I kind of felt sorry for Felicity; she wasn't taking Rio too seriously and had no idea of the carnivore that lurked just beneath the younger woman's exterior. Rochelle Wellington was far more cautious. "Greetings, Zane. I am happy to help the newest member of my committee adjust," Rochelle told me. I quickly cracked open my laptop and moved aside so that Rochelle could join me as I went over this and that from the last meeting. "Felicity and Jill, why don't we go check out some of the rooms Jill's already done and see what we can come up with," Rio suggested. Jill seemed a little nervous so Felicity stepped in. "I'd love to see what Ms. Braxton has done with her home. I always admired this old house, but Lance wanted something on the north side of town," Felicity sighed. "I tried to make things very homey," Jill informed them. "I didn't have much to work with. My late husband and I didn't have many possessions." "I think you did a fine job, Jill," Rio poured it on. "Zane considers this his home and looks forward to coming here on the weekends." That seemed to perk things up. "But why are you here, Rio? Are you Zane's, girlfriend?" Felicity wondered. "Oh, no," Rio laughed. "My family is in Arizona and Zane knows I'm alone here, so he and Jill have taken me under their wing and made me feel like a daughter, and a sister." How Jill stopped herself from choking at the, exaggeration was putting it kindly, was beyond me. It did show me that Rio could be personable and manipulative if she so desired. The three women headed off to the dining room, leaving me with Rochelle. "Why don't we move to the kitchen?" I suggested to her. "Working over the coffee table isn't good for our backs." "Oh," she clearly studied me, "okay, if you think that's best." We moved to the bar in the kitchen and I behaved myself for all of five minutes. I started bringing up her ideas that had been somewhat ill-received and showed her what work I had done on them. "I'm not sure how much of this matters," she sighed. "I don't think I have the votes." "Don't give up. After all, I have the tie-breaking vote now," I reminded her. "Oh, I hadn't considered you a voting member but I suppose you are right. I admit, I didn't see you hanging around all that long, being a young man and all," she explained. "Why would I not want to stay? I had fun," I countered. "I would imagine a young man would have better things to do than hang out with a bunch of old ladies," she said. "If I find a bunch of old ladies, I'll let you know," I grinned. "Besides, I had some friends go over some of the suggestions you put forth and they created some 3-D images for you to present next Wednesday," I related, as I began opening the first program. "Oh, my," Rochelle murmured. As she got the hang of things, she maneuvered through the presentations and rotated the pictures. "Are you hot?" I inquired. "Can I get you something to drink?" "That would be nice," she agreed. "Do you have tomato or orange juice?" "We have that, and we have beer and Scotch too," I grinned. "Oh, please," she moaned, "I could use a good Scotch. It has been a long week." While I prepared a double Scotch for her and a beer for myself, Rochelle took off her jacket and laid it on the bar. I handed her the glass when I returned. "That's smooth," she commented after a sip. "I don't like this," she pointed to a feature on the screen. "How do I alter it?" I reached around her, pressing my body onto her side and back gently. "Here you go, do this and this." I highlighted the keys she needed to use to get the desired effects. I could tell she was distracted, both physically and intellectually. Rochelle hesitantly moved some features around for a few seconds so I chose to back off for a minute. "I want to do this," she requested, "without changing, " "Oh, okay. Let's try this," I answered, while wrapping her in my arms once more. This time I held the embrace longer, and when I withdrew, my hand rested on her far shoulder. "This is really good work, Zane," Rochelle turned her head to complement me only to find my face a few inches away. She gulped and looked at me with a certain level of confliction. "Really, it was this small group of girls at school who did the real work. Isn't that always the case, women doing all the real work so some guy can get the credit?" I teased her. "Why, why did they do this for you?" she stammered. "They go to our church, of course," I smiled. "What did you think I did, seduce them?" "I, no, definitely not," Rochelle blushed, and turned back to the screen. "You are such a nice boy." "I wouldn't go that far, Mrs. Wellington. I am afraid I'm begging forgiveness most Sunday mornings," I joked. "Oh, come on now," she mused, "what do you have to talk to Jesus about?" "Impure thoughts," I confessed. "Well, you go to an all-girls school," she said. "I'm sure that gives you ample opportunity." "What makes you think I'm not being tempted right now?" I suggested. "Oh, I guess you could be," she replied quietly. "I'm glad we got that out of the way," I sighed. "What? Got what out of the way?" she asked. "It's hard to tell a lady that she's attractive without it being taken the wrong way," I lied. I had every intention of her taking this the 'wrong' way. "It is that I've always found you very beautiful but was unsure how you would take it." "I'm a married woman," she declared, but severely lacked conviction. "Absolutely, and we both understand the limitations of our relationship because of that," I continued. "Limitations?" she questioned. "Well, I can do this," I kissed her on the neck below the ear, "and we both know that it is only something between friends." "Ah, good," she moaned. "I mean, it is good we understand our boundaries." I went back to kissing her neck, then went up to her ear. Rochelle remained patiently still under my passion for a long time. "I want to take another look at this diagram," she suddenly said. She didn't pull away, though, instead, working away steadily on the keyboard while I let my lips play along her exposed flesh and my hands roamed her shoulders. She kept a steady patter of conversation going as I deviated farther and farther from her shoulders, around her back, to the sides of her breasts. "Your top button," I whispered to her. "Button, she murmured. She looked to my eyes, then followed them down to her cleavage. I saw the mental struggle going on inside her, lust versus a loveless marriage. I imagine she convinced herself this was all harmless fun because her trembling hands undid not only the first button, but the second one as well. "Beautiful," I complimented her quietly. "You are very beautiful, Rochelle." She didn't say anything but she sat up straighter and stuck out her chest with more confidence. My left hand edged around the side of her breast and took that orb into my hand and began massaging it, exciting her nipple through her satin blouse and silk bra. My right hand followed a similar path, but at the base of the breast I roamed down along the fleshy roll of her stomach to her belt, rubbing along and kneading the pliant tissue. She was slightly embarrassed

The great Jamario McClain is back on podcast is back! The two sit down for another raw, uninhibited and hilarious conversation about being famous, sports betting, the Riyahd Comedy Festival controversy, growing up in the 80's, finding a good scam, the birth of Jamario's 3rd son, and leaning how to raise a kid. The guys close the show with the weekly news - More intelligent men having a harder time finding a partner and “haters” tend to have a higher IQ.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Being Famous 04:00  Sports Betting 10:00  The Riyahd Comedy Festival Controversy 21:00  Growing Up in the 80's 42:00  The Birth of Jamario's Third Son 47:00  Raising Kids 1:00:00  The Weekly News     New Episodes Every Wednesday:

It's spooky season - and today Your Mom and Dad are listening to your ghost stories and your getting ghosted stories…and WOW the Family delivered! But first, Jess gives Evan a spooky gift and tells about recent hauntings in their haunted house! Then they dive into your voicemails about terrifying possessions, Ouija boards, exorcisms, special messages, heartbreaking ghostings, ghosting people yourselves, and much more! Thank you, Family, for sending in your stories! ***Tune in Friday (10/17) for the next Golden Bachelor recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ****QUINCE: Go to https://www.Quince.com/momdad for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! ***MINNESOTA NICE: Minnesota Nice wants to help you find your calm—go to www.mnniceethno.com/momanddad and use code MOMANDDAD 22 for 22% off your first order! ***HUNGRYROOT: Get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at https://www.Hungryroot.com/momdad with code momdad

Tom's coming to Hanover, Maryland on the 19th as well as all over Indiana Oct. 23th - 26th. Make sure to get your tickets at https://TomSegura.com/Tour SPONSORS: Use the read where they say http://helixsleep.com/YMH Get your first month of BlueChew FREE at https://bluechew.com New Customers Bet $5 Get $300 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. The Crown Is Yours! Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. #DKPartner Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. Hey, Jeans! Tim's off at rehab for an eating disorder (allegedly), so Christina welcomes certified Soul Mommy and Not Today Pal co-host Rob Iler to hold down the fort. They dive head-first into the single life, dating red flags, and the thriving world of inmate dating apps — complete with reviews of real prison profiles. Rob reveals his “type,” Christina confesses her John Goodman fantasy, and together they somehow connect it all to asthma, cigarettes, and childhood trauma. If you're in the mood for farts, felons, and philosophy this week, you've come to the right place! Your Mom's House Ep. 832 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit https://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit https://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in NH/OR/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. Terms: https://draftkings.com/sportsbook. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Fees may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $300 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 11/23/25. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: https://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos. Ends 11/16/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:53 - Opening Clip: Fat Women Are Broke Dudes 00:08:26 - You're The One For Me Fatty 00:15:16 - Idaho Prison Inmate Dating Game 00:22:06 - Wolly Willy Babe 00:27:41 - Here For Good Time, Not Long Time 00:32:27 - Chain Smoking Grandparents 00:40:21 - Traveling Girls 00:45:48 - Happy Tom, Gross Rob 00:53:06 - Clip: Horse Milk 00:54:39 - Big Cheese Guy 00:58:49 - Learning Things From TikTok 01:05:55 - Poo Poo Pee Pee Dealbreakers + Rob's Pazsitzky Effect 01:14:28 - Christina's Curations 01:24:07 - More TikToks 01:40:45 - Closing Song -"Booty Opens Up" by Buttstin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Comedian and professional dating coach Paul Roseberry is back on the Ready Set Blow podcast. The two sit down for another raw, uninhibited and hilarious conversation about reminiscing, Paul recording his first comedy special, gardening, making social progress, corporations and self checkout, and how to make money on climate change.  The fellas close the show with the weekly news - The Bad Bunny Super Bowl halftime controversy and some Charlie Kirk shooting conspiracies.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Reminiscing 06:00  First Comedy Festival 10:00  Gardening 16:00  Making Social Progress 30:00  Self Checkout 50:30  Making Money Off Climate Change 1:02:00  The Weekly News     New Episodes Every Wednesday:

New Jersey and and New York Tom's coming to you Oct. 15th, 17th and 18th. Make sure to get your tickets at https://TomSegura.com/Tour SPONSORS: - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to http://LIQUID-IV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. - Head to https://Mood.com and use code YOURMOM to find the functional gummy that matches exactly what you're looking for, and let Mood help you discover YOUR perfect mood. Welcome back to the Mommy Dome! Tom Segura and Christina P are bleeding with laughter this week—literally. From syncing up their “cycles” to debating who actually looks at their own turds, the mommydom gets raw, messy, and very YMH. Christina shares her discovery that she might be a femboy thanks to TikTok, the two lose it over a Vietnamese café, and a drunk casino regular goes viral for swearing revenge on Encore at 10:30 in the morning. Things get even wilder with a Miami tax-prep guru who doubles as a bizarre influencer, a heated dental update with a hygiene showdown where Tom insists he “knows gums,” and Christina's revelation about her biggest fear of turning into an emotional vampire. It's bloody good time this week at Your Mom's House! Your Mom's House Ep. 831 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:33 - Opening Clip: Cafe Bich Nga 00:13:41 - A History Lesson 00:21:16 - Boston Gambler 00:27:20 - Cool Accountant 00:33:33 - Clip: Catching Poops 00:37:05 - Clip: Happy Birthday Fatty 00:37:29 - DENTAL UPDATE 00:43:36 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:51:11 - The Person You're Afraid Of Becoming 00:58:32 - Clip: Rollercoaster Barf 00:58:56 - Clip: Road Rage Cabron 01:03:46 - TikToks 01:18:09 - Closing Song -"Alpha Advice" by WavKingz Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian and all-around solid dude Anthony Stiriti joins Randy on the Ready Set Blow podcast. The boys sit down for another raw, uninhibited and hilarious conversation about gambling, bad 90's fashion style, tattoos, religions sexual rules, the perfect dating app, east coast cities, the difficulty of landing dark humor jokes on stage, having to take a dump while on a date, playing “would you rather…”, and the Israel-Palestine conflict. The fellas close the show with the weekly news - A millionaire is looking for a “good breeder” on Tinder, data analysis shows that Republican men obsessively consume trans porn, and men tend to find women who wear less makeup more attractive.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Gambling 05:00  The WNBA 09:00  90's Fashion Style 11:00  Tattoos 13:00  Religion & Sex 18:30  The Perfect Dating App 25:00  East Coast Culture 29:00  Dark Humor & Offensive Comedy 36:30  Taking a Dump on a Date 40:30  Playing “Would You Rather…” 44:00  Israel & Palestine Conflict 52:30  The Weekly News   New Episodes Every Wednesday:

Mel's Golden Bachelor journey continues in the second episode of this season - and Your Mom and Dad's opinions of Mel continue as well! They discuss the women unleashing their feelings through comedy on the group date Roast, the foreshadowing of Nicole's “villain” journey, Cindy struggling with love feelings already, Debbie's 1 on 1, Susan giving the same advice to literally everyone, and much more! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ****MINNESOTA NICE: Minnesota Nice wants to help you find your calm—go to www.mnniceethno.com/momanddad and use code MOMANDDAD 22 for 22% off your first order! ***NURTURE  LIFE: Go to https://www.NurtureLife.com/MOMDAD55 and use code MOMDAD55 for 55% off your first order PLUS free shipping! ***NUTRAFOL: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at https://www.Nutrafol.com with code MOMDAD

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour Don't miss out on the chance to pick up Christina's 4 new cosmetic products! Evermore Liquid Lipstick, Lip Gloss, and Velvet Crush Blush. Available now at https://christinap.com SPONSORS: - New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins. Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans serving up another chaotic episode of Your Mom's House! Christina unveils her new “witchy” fall lipstick drop while Tom recalls getting mauled by a pro fighter. The gang debates who smells worse—Eastern Europeans or Americans under 25—before diving into wild clips featuring Frankie Fart Eyes, fart orgy requests, and some of the worst porn acting you've ever seen. Plus: Tom tells stories of hanging out ringside with BTBs like Mike Tyson and Marshawn Lynch, and Christina defends her controversial stance on “napkin pants.” It's foul, it's funny, it's YMH and it's stinky! Your Mom's House Ep. 830 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit https://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in NH/OR/ONT. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Fees may apply in IL. 1 per new customer. Must register new account to receive reward Token. Must select Token BEFORE placing min. $5 bet to receive $200 in Bonus Bets if your bet wins. Min. -500 odds req. Token and Bonus Bets are single-use and non-withdrawable. Token expires 10/19/25. Bonus Bets expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . Ends 10/12/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:16 - Opening Clip: Fart Eyes 00:12:33 - BTB Type Shit 00:20:14 - Fartmacy 00:28:06 - Smelly M-Fers 00:33:21 - The Worst Smelling Countries List 00:46:56 - Napkin Pants 00:49:25 - Gay Stuff For Enny 00:57:32 - Clip: Fart Drive-Thru 00:58:31 - Clip: WHAT 01:01:10 - Art Update 01:02:30 - Closing Song -"*ss Liquor" by R PATTZ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Shop, save, and SCOOOORE today at https://Wayfair.com. - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/YMH. - Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/YMH to get 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift. - If you're 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! #viiaparter Tom Segura and Christina P are back in Studio Jeans with one of their all-time favorite guests—comedian Ian Bagg! The Mommies dive right in with Ian's trademark razor-sharp crowd-work style and wild storytelling, picking up where they left off after years of friendship and touring together. Ian shares hilarious memories from their trip to South Africa, including Apartheid Museum awkwardness, getting clowned by local comics, and Bobby Lee's infamous run-in with some unlucky robbers. They also talk about the chaos of comedy festivals, the strange hierarchy among comics, and what it's like navigating green rooms, promoters, and fans before a big "Blacks Only" show. Before Ian joins in, Tom and Christina debate a relationship fights where someone says “Nobody cares,” check out a clip of a dude threatening to eat a strangers' ass, debut some now censored art, get raw with emotion, and take a bite of Fancy Chef's big chocolate bar. Strap in, Jeans, because Baggles is back! Your Mom's House Ep. 829 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:12 - Opening Clip: Buy Christina's New Lipstick 00:14:16 - Clip: Dear Jennifer 00:16:49 - Art Update 00:19:26 - "Nobody Cares" Email 00:31:01 - Clip: Bite Of Your Sexy Ass 00:34:01 - The Main Mommies Get Emotional 00:41:43 - Clip: Fancy Chocolate Bar 00:44:35 - Ian Bagg: Comedy In South Africa 00:52:16 - Green Room 01:01:31 - Clip: Angry Aussie Politician 01:03:11 - Other Canadians & Will Blunderfield 01:12:00 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:19:33 - Iraqi Influencer 01:26:05 - Private Videos In Public 01:31:53 - Black Magic 01:35:17 - TikToks 01:47:20 - Clip: Relationship Advice 01:50:28 - Clip: Not A Real Cop 01:51:03 - Rope Prep & After Care 01:55:47 - Wrap Up 01:56:57 - Closing Song - "Fart Mic" by DJ Fartmoose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian and firebrand Fanto is back on the podcast for a booze-filled, unfiltered, and brutally honest conversation about Fanto's least favorite communities, civil defamation lawsuits, dealing with law enforcement and judges, your legacy after death, having accountability, Fanto's childhood, finding a mentor, and the Charlie Kirk Assassination. The boys close the show with the weekly news - The US Senate quietly voted to keep the Epstein Files sealed, and China has released a new AI Robot wives for $3,000.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Fanto's Least Favorite Groups 10:30  Civil Lawsuits 23:00  Law Enforcement & Judges 19:00  Getting Started in Comedy 34:30  Your Legacy After Death 39:00  Having Accountability 45:00  Fanto's Childhood 54:00  Finding and Being a Mentor 1:06:00  The Charlie Kirk Assassination 1:24:00  The Weekly News   New Episodes Every Wednesday:

In this episode, Lisa and Ilana discuss:Mother-daughter dynamics in shaping career confidence and identityThe unconscious transmission of attitudes about work, relationships, and self-worthNavigating the tension between supporting and controlling children's career pathsThe role of self-awareness and open conversation in healthy career developmentKey Takeaways: Daughters absorb far more from how mothers navigate work, relationships, and confidence than from the advice they are given outright.Holding too tightly to a fixed idea of who a daughter should become can quietly undermine her ability to build true career confidence.Paying attention to the language you use about your job and your life helps prevent unintentional patterns of negativity or self-doubt from passing on to your children.Sharing the full, unpolished story of your own career choices—including pivots, regrets, and proud moments—gives your child permission to make different decisions without guilt. “The real trick is for daughters and for us to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses and separate ourselves enough from mom that we could see ourselves.” – Ilana LevittEpisode References:Download a Sample Birkman Report: https://flourishcoachingco.com/birkmanSample The Seven Stories Exercise: https://careercenter.lehigh.edu/sites/careercenter.lehigh.edu/files/Seven%20Stories%20Exercise.pdfNew York Times: 25 Questions to Bring You Closer to Your Mom: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/05/09/well/mothers-day-questions.htmlGet Lisa's Free on-demand video: How-to guide for your teen to choose the right major, college, & career...(without painting themselves into a corner, missing crucial deadlines, or risking choices you both regret).flourishcoachingco.com/videoConnect with Ilana:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatsmomthebook/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatsmomthebook/Book: What's Mom Still Got To Do With It?: https://www.whatsmomthebook.com/Take the quick quiz to find out which daughter type from What's Mom Still Got To Do With It? fits you best!LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ilanatolpinlevitt/Need to find more scholarship money? Join Lisa and scholarship strategist Dave Peterson Tuesday, Sept. 30 at 7:30 PM EST/4:30 PST for a free live panel. Save your seat now at https://flourishcoachingco.com/majorscholarshipsConnect with Lisa:Website: https://www.flourishcoachingco.com/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@flourishcoachingcoFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/flourishcoachingco/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flourishcoachingco/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/flourish-coaching-co

It's that time, Family…time for the Cast Bio breakdowns! A time where we make wild assumptions and unfounded predictions about Golden Bachelor Mel Owens' upcoming cast based ONLY off of their ABC cast photos and bios (aka we know nothing about them and these are just wild guesses lol)! Your Mom and Dad are joined by absolute favorite, Uncle Lee, to break down the cast bios of all 23 Golden gals! ***Tune in next Friday (9/26) for Your Mom and Dad's recap of the Golden Bachelor premiere episode! If you want to follow along visually, check out the Youtube version of this episode at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzx2N1qxFObhvSvf9tp7ayQ  Or check out the cast list pictures and bios at: https://abc.com/show/2f373056-b668-40aa-b653-009d1c3cc055/cast  Check out Lee's gorgeous work here: https://www.instagram.com/internetceramics  THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***MINNESOTA NICE: Tap the link to learn more and claim the offer:  www.mnniceethno.com/pages/amanita-test-drivers/?ref=xaozorkp ***LIQUID IV: Go to https://www.LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code MOMDAD at checkout! ***REMI:Go to https://www.shopremi.com/MOMDAD and use code MOMDAD at checkout for 50% off!

Make sure to watch Jordan's new Netflix special "Take Me With You", streaming now! SPONSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse Head to https://BlueChew.com to get your first month FREE. Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 Instantly in Bonus Bets. Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 25% Off Sitewide. Welcome back to Your Mom's House with Tom Segura and Christina P! This week Tim and Kristin are joined by comedian Jordan Jensen (Netflix: Take Me With You, Being Ian with Jordan).The mommies kick things off with some cat updates, code switching, and a heated debate about napkin pants. Then Jordan sits down to talk about growing up with two moms and a cowboy dad, why female comics all have “dyke energy,” and the elite nightmare of dating apps like Raya.We get into cold plunges, “gender traitors,” road rage in New York City, fart legends like King Ass Ripper, and Jordan's on-again-off-again relationships. Plus: the infamous “N-Ain't Shit” lady, breakdancing protestors, and why sharts aren't what you think they are.It's a packed episode full of laughs, chaos, and classic YMH insanity. Your Mom's House Ep. 828 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . Ends 9/29/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:48 - Christina's Art & Cat Breath 00:04:10 - Code Switching For Elite Whites 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Demons In My Womb 00:18:39 - Clip: Fart On Me Freakout 00:23:28 - Double Pipe Collab 00:25:56 - Do You Have A Husband? 00:30:48 - Clip: Presidential Candidate 00:32:36 - Full Figured Woman 00:36:38 - Napkin Pants 00:38:49 - Jordan Jensen Isn't Gay 00:44:27 - Masculine Comedy Energy 00:50:24 - Gender Traitor 01:40:45 - Closing Song: "Six Butts (More To Love)" By DJ Fat Hog Jeans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian and entrepreneur JT Hernandez is on the podcast this week for a hilarious, unfiltered, and brutally honest conversation about golfing, the high of doing standup comedy, entrepreneurship and marketing, getting started in comedy, having an abundance mindset, working in Human Resources, the benefits of doing good, mentorship, and sexual harassment training. The fellas close the show with the weekly news - The average man spends $15,000 a year on his significant other, men are happier dating younger women, and the best friendships are formed around hating the same things.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  Golfing 11:00  Getting Laugh Doing Standup 16:00  Entrepreneurship and Marketing  19:00  Getting Started in Comedy 23:00  Abundance Mindset 24:00  Working in HR 34:30  The Benefits of Doing Good 37:00  Finding a Mentor 45:00  Sexual Harassment Training 55:00  The Weekly News   New Episodes Every Wednesday:

Comedian and Instagram sensation Brandon Trusso is on the Ready Set Blow podcast for another funny, unfiltered, and brutally honest conversation about the early internet days, going to Blockbuster, becoming famous on social media, offensive comedy, maintaining sobriety, growing up in the 90's, the show “60 Days In”, and Netflix documentaries. The fellas close the show with the weekly news - a new study shows 72% of people would choose their spouse/partner over $1 million, and ChatGPT comes up with a list of the top 5 human experiences.   Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show.   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00 Podcast Intro 01:00  The Early Internet 05:00  Blockbuster and DVDs 11:00  OnlyFans  14:00  Social Media Fame 23:00  Offensive Comedy 32:00  Maintaining Sobriety 55:00  Netflix Documentaries 1:02:00  The Weekly News   New Episodes Every Wednesday:

SPONSORS: - Shop SKIMS Mens at ⁠https://SKIMS.com⁠ - New Customers Bet $5 Get $200 Instantly in Bonus Bets. Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. - Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to ⁠http://LIQUID-IV.COM⁠ and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at https://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. Tom Segura and Christina P are back in the jeans with a very special guest — the King of Props himself, Carrot Top! From his legendary Vegas run at the Luxor to his wildest corporate gig disasters, Carrot Top brings decades of insane stories, prop magic, and pure chaos. Before Carrot Top enters the Mommy Dome, Tim and Christine The mommies dive deep into everything from Christina's new artwork of Tom's body (and perfectly to-scale junk) to DIY butt-stuff therapies, plus ass-worship furniture, queening chairs on Amazon, and the return of the fart mic. Carrot Top talks insane backstage Tonight Show moments and why George Carlin was one of his biggest fans. He also talks growing up in Florida, life in Vegas, Phyllis Diller stealing his joke, and reacts to classic YMH prop man, Uncle Terry. Carrot Top also opens his trunk and shows the Main Mommies some of his latest wacky props. It's a filthy, hilarious ride with one of the most iconic comics alive. Don't miss it, Jean. Your Mom's House Ep. 827 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . Ends 9/29/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:26 - Opening Clip: Butt Stuff Solutions 00:05:38 - Christina's New Art 00:16:45 - Karl Lagerfeld 00:19:45 - Queening & Ass Worship 00:29:57 - Clip: Join Me In The Shower 00:31:50 - Mean Comments From Dudes 00:35:13 - Clip: Tard Fraud 00:39:58 - Carrot Top 00:45:20 - The Prop Process 00:54:33 - Clean Comedy & Nightmare Gigs 01:03:26 - Clip: Ozzy's Austrian Painter Inspo 01:04:14 - Clip: Dan Pena 01:04:27 - Clip: Tard Fraud 01:06:05 - Messing With Gene Simmons & Stolen Prop Valor 01:25:52 - Uncle Terry, Gingers, & More Props 01:35:53 - TikToks 01:44:48 - Carlin Liked Me 01:53:03 - Closing Song -"Now I'm In Your Ass Yeah" by Street Justice Remix Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The FINALE of this season of Bachelor in Paradise is finally here and Your Mom and Dad have A LOT to say about it - namely bafflement at the return of the Parliament, confusion with how the “game” ended, and (tbh) shock regarding the current state of some of the final couples! It's been a wild ride and there is much to discuss! ***Tune in next week for Your Mom and Dad's recap of the Bachelor in Paradise Reunion and the Love Island Reunion! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***NURTURE LIFE: For 55% off your order + FREE shipping, head to https://www.NurtureLife.com/MOMDAD55 and use code MOMDAD55. ***ROCKET MONEY: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions at https://www.RocketMoney.com/momdad today! ***MINNESOTA NICE: Go to www.mnniceethno.com/momanddad and use code MOMANDDAD22 for 22% off your first order!

SPONSORS: New Customers Bet $5 to get $300 Instantly in Bonus Bets and $200 OFF NFL Sunday Ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV. Sign up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. Here come the Cincinnati boys! Tom welcomes comedian/actor Gary Owen—for a long-overdue YMH hang. They trade Queen City origin stories, first mics, and the wild path that took Gary from the U.S. Navy to San Diego open mics, Black room gauntlets, and a film run with legends like Eddie Murphy, Jamie Foxx, Martin Lawrence, the Wayans brothers, and Kevin Hart. Tom also challenges Gary to a round of “Tom or Black?”, they relive the Def Jam glory days, FSU vs. Alabama stadium suites, Deion “Prime” Sanders, Randy Moss's fishing obsession, Bengals heartbreak, and why standup is booming again. Plus: Tom opens the show 28 minutes in with Ryan's latest interest Brazilian farts. Your Mom's House Ep. 826 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new DraftKings customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Get 1 promo code to redeem discounted NFL Sunday Ticket subscription and max. $300 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://sportsbook.draftkings.com/promos . NFL Sunday Ticket: YouTube TV base plan (not included in this offer) required to watch NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. Subscription autorenews yearly at then-current price (currently $378 for YouTube TV subscribers, or $480 for YouTube subscribers); cancel anytime. Terms, restrictions, embargoes and eligibility requirements apply. No refunds. Digital only games excluded. Commercial use excluded. Additional terms: https://tv.youtube.com/learn/nflsundayticket/draftkings/. Offer ends 9/7/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:40 - Two Cincinnati Kids 00:09:00 - Doing Comedy For The Blacks 00:18:34 - White Audiences Vs Black Audiences 00:25:46 - Opening Clip: I'm Ryan 00:27:13 - Rich Guys Into Deranged Shit 00:31:23 - Working With Comedy Legends 00:36:05 - Gary's New Special & Undercover Boss 00:42:41 - Tom Or Black? 00:46:20 - Florida State Vs Alabama 00:48:30 - Randy Moss 00:54:23 - The Cincinnati Bengals 01:00:46 - Why Move To Austin? 01:05:37 - Closing Song - "Let's Go Water Champ Tommy Buns" by Sweet Mitchel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Randy is joined by comedian and podcast editor Christian Paolo this week for an oddly nostalgic and very entertaining conversation. The boys open the show talking about the quality of US drinking water. They go on to discuss a wide range of other topics including - the early internet days, growing up “back east” and the values they learned, crime in American today, the history of the mafia and organized crime, mob rules they wish criminals would respect now, President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, the government not being efficient and political corruption, how you should behave if you're wealthy, their unshakeable love of being comedians, performing in Providence Rhode Island, going to public school and racism in other countries.    Every Wednesday, the Ready Set Blow Podcast brings you real talk with comedians, actors, musicians, entertainers, entrepreneurs, and fascinating guests from all walks of life. No scripted BS. No playing it safe…Just raw, funny, and authentic conversations you won't hear on your average podcast.   If you enjoy comedy podcasts like Your Mom's House, Flagrant, The Joe Rogan Experience, or Theo Von, you'll love this show!   What We Talk About in This Episode: 00:00  Podcast Intro 01:00  The Loss of Drinking Water 11:00  Crime in America 13:00  The Early Internet Days 15:00  The Mafia and Organized Crime 18:00  Loving Comedy 20:00  Providence Rhode Island 23:00  Political Corruption 32:00  Military Service 35:00  Corporate Greed 43:00  Second Amendment Rights 50:00  Growing Up on the East Coast 56:00  International Racism 1:00:00  American Exceptionalism 1:10:00  Women and Accountability 1::17:00 Morals and Values 1:30:00  Public Schools 1:35:00  China and The National Debt 1:41:00  JD Vance 1:46:00  Being Relatable 1:51:00  Providence Love   New Episodes Every Wednesday:

Today Your Mom and Dad recap episode 9 of Bachelor in Paradise and discuss all their thoughts on the hellish bug filled camping test, test results from a therapist, stabbing each other in the back, tea surrounding Kat, and much more - but first, Your Mom and Dad want to extend all their gratitude to The Family.  ***Join Your Mom and Dad later this week for the Bachelor in Paradise FINALE recap - and next week for the BIP Reunion and Love Island Reunion recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***HIYA: Receive 50% off your first  order at https://www.hiyahealth.com/MOMANDDAD  ***HUNGRYROOT: For a limited time, get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at https://hungryroot.com/momdad with code molded ***ARTICLE: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at https://www.ARTICLE.COM/MOMDAD and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout! ***CASH APP: For a limited time only - download Cash App, sign up, then use our exclusive code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account!  Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Make sure to tune in to Muy Mucha Charo! New episodes every other Thursday https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-i3EV1v5hLdW3LCtKigp5hl7Pi38QRNG SPONSORS: Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less. Head to https://wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/YMH and start saving today. Sale ends 8/31. Head to https://adamandeve.com and use code YMH for your discount. This week on Your Mom's House, Tim and Kristine are out and it's “My Mom's House” as Charo sits in for the absent main mommies. Charo hosts a nostalgia fueled clip show, which features fans and guests—including Stavros Halkias, Dr. Drew, Chris Distefano, Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Rob Iler, Andrew Santino, Ryan Sickler, Armie Hammer and more—sharing their favorite YMH moments, each leading into a classic clip. Tom's mom is putting in the leg work and proving you can't spell “contractually obligated” without Charo! Guest SubmissionsChris Distefano - Ep. 765 https://youtu.be/aDknTsElGcAStavros Halkias - Ep. 711 https://youtu.be/L3zV1AzFisYSteve-O - Ep. 517 https://youtu.be/HjHJ1TY2AAgDr. Drew - Ep. 427 https://youtu.be/zeJkkihtD2AAndrew Santino - Ep. 466 https://youtu.be/0_tdOY6ssbIRyan Sickler - Ep. 735 https://youtu.be/b5WvnO5E8PsJohnny Pemberton - Ep. 612 https://youtu.be/gB1LQBp8nLADuncan Trussell -YMH Live X https://ymhstudios.com/rent-ymh-x/Robert Iler + Jamie-Lynn Sigler - Ep. 561 https://youtu.be/BbNqYAR1ulQSteph Tolev - Ep. 814 https://youtu.be/4Gi917jYvdgMark Normand - 2 Bears, 1 Cave 85 https://youtu.be/cQNH8Djac-cJosh Potter - Home Here Now Doc w/ RPC https://youtu.be/HmViwV_10ykArmie Hammer - Ep. 791 https://youtu.be/-Ay7j-X-Wxs Mommy SubmissionsDaniel -Ep. 537 https://youtu.be/xVOR712pRaEDouglas -Ep. 759 https://youtu.be/qN5rXW5C238Ellison -Ep. 644 https://youtu.be/A-95v0ngiGcKaitlin -Ep. 773 https://youtu.be/pBfdf85I-hkBobby - Ep. 358 https://youtu.be/OIjeu2TQ4qs Your Mom's House Ep. 825 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:06 - Stavros Halkias - Pig Poutine 00:03:57 - Chris Distefano - Trans Love 00:07:11 - Mommy Kaitlin - Hammy Escapes 00:16:04 - Steve-O - Skyjacking 00:19:24 - Robert Iler & Jamie-Lynn Sigler - Buried For The Kinks 00:22:12 - Mommy Daniel - Pouncey Twins 00:27:46 - Mark Normand - Fat & Gross Segura 00:31:20 - Dr. Drew - Meeting RPC 00:34:59 - Mommy Ellison - Charo's "Bet" 00:42:05 - Andrew Santino - Good Morning Julia 00:46:50 - Ryan Sickler - Jesse Lee Peterson 00:51:54 - Johnny Pemberton - Lathe Death 00:53:33 - Duncan Trussell - Will Blunderfield's Retreat 00:55:44 - Mommy Bobby - Top Dog Blonde Jokes 01:03:20 - Steph Tolev - Pig Poutine Redux 01:06:53 - Josh Potter - Home Here Now 01:12:32 - Armie Hammer - Austin Is Insane 01:13:39 - Mommy Douglas - Good Mornin' Julia Song Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/6fv5azex #CashAppPod As a Cash App partner, I may earn a commission when you sign up for a Cash App account. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. This week on Not Today Pal, Rob introduces Jamie to Fancy Chef and relives his Your Mom's House dream judging the cooking showdown between Fancy and Phillip Frankland Lee. Jamie reacts in curiosity and horror, as Rob risks his gut, and somehow they end up imagining a poolside bug-cooking session. Plus: the duo gets AI dog makeovers, Rob becomes a buccal massage evangelist, Jamie suffers through the worst “massage” of her life, and they deep-dive into Sopranos tattoo art, Nutella French fries, and brisket fantasies. This one's chaotic, unfiltered, and basically just hanging out at Jamie's kitchen table. Have a question for Rob and Jamie? Reach out at nottodaypalpodcast@gmail.com Not Today, Pal Ep. 108 https://www.instagram.com/jamielynnsigler https://www.instagram.com/nottodaypalshow https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:25 - Jamie Meets Fancy Chef 00:07:40 - Not Today Dog 00:10:49 - Mouth Massage 00:18:58 - Memory Lane 00:20:56 - More Sopranos Tattoos 00:23:55 - Clip: Giovanni's Deli Guy Makes Nutella Fries 00:26:43 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let us know what your favorite Your Mom's House moment is by submitting a video recording to yourmomspodcast@gmail.com Get tickets for Tom's Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse If you're 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order head to https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! #viiaparter We have such sights to show you! This week, Christina P sits down with horror icon Doug Bradley, the legendary actor behind Hellraiser's Pinhead, for a conversation that's equal parts creepy, funny, and surprisingly tender. Doug dives into the origins of Pinhead's terrifying look, the philosophy behind horror villains, and what it's like when strangers recognize him as the guy who tormented their nightmares.Christina presses Doug on whether BDSM aesthetics became mainstream thanks to Cenobites, and if he's ever had to explain his career choices at awkward family dinners. Doug also shares behind-the-scenes stories of low-budget chaos, midnight makeup chair marathons, and how becoming a horror icon changed his life in ways he never saw coming. With frequent detours into absurdity Doug also proves he's not just a master of horror—he's got comedy chops too. This episode is a once-in-a-lifetime crossover of YMH filth and horror royalty...missing it would be a waste of good suffering. Your Mom's House Ep. 824 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:11 - Let The Conversation Begin 00:04:08 - Opening Clip: Anybody Want These Sandals? 00:05:43 - Clip: Mr. Big Praises Christina 00:07:15 - Photos Of Pinhead 00:14:17 - Pinhead Takes The MTV Movie Awards 00:20:35 - Basic Questions 00:23:19 - Clive Barker 00:31:27 - Behind The Mask 00:38:06 - Hellraiser 00:46:20 - The Origins Of The Cenobites' Names 00:55:41 - Hellbound & Horny 01:03:41 - Master Of Accents 01:14:02 - Arsenal Fans & Doug Bradley's YouTube Page 01:21:14 - Mommy's New Boobs 01:27:08 - Closing Song - "Feel The Pain" by Mark Price Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Be sure to visit https://Store.YMHStudios.com for up to 65% off our merch! SPONSORS: Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh Go to https://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code YMH at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com This week on Your Mom's House, Tom's still off making a movie so Christina P calls in comedy legend and professional cigar philosopher Ron White to fill the daddy seat. The two dive right in—covering Ron's brand-new “49-year-old bombshell” girlfriend, the celestial math that makes their relationship perfect, and why fake boobs just aren't his thing. Ron spills the story of his ill-fated Paris river cruise, complete with pot smoke, a furious German-sounding captain, and a dramatic escape to a Paris hotel equipped with a literal sex swing.Christina shocks Ron by resurrecting a banned piece of YMH history—the beloved fart mic—and offers it up for live use. They trade stories about prenups gone wrong, vomiting for the sake of Cracker Barrel breakfast, fat roll storage hacks, and just how much sex is “too much” when you're pushing 70. Plus, Ron shares why he thinks he's better at stand-up now than ever, how to truly slow down on stage, and the strange gift of being an endearing pervert. From fart sandwiches to Swarovski crystal chairs, and from emotional talks about aging parents to the logistics of anal, this is still a YMH at its purest: filthy, funny, and a little too honest. Your Mom's House Ep. 823 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:17 - Opening Clip: Fart Sandwich 00:08:04 - The Return Of The Fart Mic 00:13:45 - Ron White's Cruise From Hell 00:24:03 - Paris Sex Swings 00:31:54 - Clip: Dumb Brazilian Tourist 00:33:05 - Common Law Marriage 00:41:43 - Clip: Exploding Mom 00:42:56 - Clip: Fat Tourist Breaks Chair 00:44:26 - Clip: Fatso Mechanic 00:46:12 - Clip: Cool Karate 00:48:24 - Clip: Energy Sex 00:51:37 - Cracker Barrel Ambassador 00:57:20 - Sons & Fathers 01:01:56 - Ron's Comedic Words Of Wisdom 01:08:16 - Wrap Up 01:12:12 - Closing Song - "Delta White Mousepad" by Kosher Charro, Remix by John Douglass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: Squeeze the most out of your Summer with Liquid I.V. Tear. Pour. Live More. Go to https://LIQUIDIV.com and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week, Tom's off filming a movie and Christina P hijacks the show, steering YMH straight into sun with cosmic warlock Duncan Trussell riding shotgun. What begins as a fart soundboard tutorial quickly devolves into a kaleidoscope of brain-melting nonsense: energy sex, threesomes with the sun, cult recruitment red flags, and why George Washington's preserved presidential jizz is secretly powering American democracy.Duncan opens up about his time with boner-shaman Will Blunderfield, explains why Scientology might be cheaper than therapy, and introduces us to Avery Blackwell—the brand new, possibly-nude, definitely-gay CEO of YMH Studios. Meanwhile, Christina wages war on National Pet-Your-Dog Day and investigates whether Sydney Sweeney is a genetically engineered eugenics queen sent to confuse Gen Z. This one has everything: conspiracy theories, cult dynamics, emotional nudity, the downfall of morning television, and a surprising amount of reverence for Daniel Day-Lewis. Come for the mommy energy, stay for the cum-powered U.S. government. Your Mom's House Ep. 822 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:54 - Opening Clip: Fell From Heaven 00:06:14 - Celebrating Women And Cults 00:17:31 - Scientology 00:27:21 - Morning Talk Shows 00:31:30 - A New CEO Of YMH? 00:43:07 - Clip: Latex Man 00:47:51 - George Washington's Baby Batter 00:52:56 - Palette Cleanser 00:55:22 - Sydney Sweeney 01:03:35 - The Macrons Vs Candace Owens 01:11:44 - Duncan's Final Thoughts 01:13:45 - Closing Song - "Push's Theme" by Eli Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, that was one of the weirdest things we've ever seen…and we think we loved it?? Family, today Your Mom and Dad recap episode 5 of Bachelor in Paradise season 10! They discuss the continuation of Dale getting away with everything, Gary and Nancy getting high, the men getting freaky as birds, Jeremy getting caught on a hot mic, Parisa getting confused by Brian's BIP VIP behavior, Allyshia getting the men to turn their heads, Jill getting over BIP, and much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad on Wednesday (8/6) for the next Bachelor in Paradise recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR: ***OUTSCHOOL: Get your family's first month for only $1 when you use our link: https://outschool.com/MOMDAD and use code MOMDAD at checkout!

SPONSORS: Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less. Head to https://wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Go to https://coorslight.com/YMH to see how Coors Light can amplify your summer. And be sure to keep an eye out onCoors Light's social handles all summer long for more exciting announcements. This week on Your Mom's House, Tom Segura and Christina P welcome back the one and only Charo! Charo isn't only here to collect casino money, she's here to drop major news: she's launching her own YMH show, Muy Mucha Charo… and let's just say, it's already the tits! Charo talks more about her recent move to Austin and how the adjustment is going, and the trio dives into Charo's own psychological evaluation (spoiler: clinically significant chaos), debates her potential Vegas show “Fart Mistress Live,” and navigates her dream of owning a Mazda Miata convertible—so long as she drives it on the freeway. Plus, Christina's lipstick line gets a rave review, Bert Kreischer gets body-shamed with love, Charo watches people get hurt against her will, they brainstorm Bad Thoughts season 2 ideas, and Tom reveals a sci-fi colonoscopy story that sends Charo into full-on disownment mode. This episode is a wild ride filled with laughs, borderline diagnoses, mom-manipulation tactics, and of course... plenty of farts. Your Mom's House Ep. 821 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:02 - Opening Clip: Fat Guy Is Full 00:18:24 - Muy Mucha Charo Teaser 00:21:37 - Does Charo Like Austin? 00:29:39 - Farts & Charo Bribes 00:37:54 - Charo's Psych Evaluation Results 00:49:05 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:57:05 - Crazies Behind The Wheel 01:02:21 - Clip: Robot Companion 01:04:44 - Season 2 Of Bad Thoughts 01:15:49 - Closing Song - "BURP" by Wes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Shop outdoor furniture, grills, lawn games, and WAY more for WAY less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to explore a HUGE outdoor selection. - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse - Go to https://ThriveMarket.com/YMH, to get thirty percent off your first order, plus a FREE sixty dollar gift just for signing up. Tom's fasting, Christina's gassy, and Joe DeRosa is back with a brand new comedy special and hot sandwich takes about a major New York institution. The show kicks off with a debate over whether fighter pilots could get away with call signs like “Stanky Cock” or “Big Dick.” The Main Mommies next dive deep into the aftermath of their staff psych evals, with borderline revelations, some tampon talk, and a real concern for Enny's suspiciously normal results. Tom also opens up about his multi-day fast, shrinking penis, and terrifying wellness advice, while Christina celebrates colonics as feminist self-care. Then, Joe DeRosa enters the chat. The trio debates Hitler as a motivational speaker, Dan Peña's castle energy, building houses on famous murder sites, and the growing arms race of celebrity sex criminals. Joe also dishes on Bradley Cooper visiting his sandwich shop, fantasizes about quitting comedy to work at Best Buy, and breaks down his bleak-but-hilarious new special I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. Plus: forklift fails, Cosby court swagger, Lena Dunham's cones, and how to turn fart jars and armpits into financial freedom. Your Mom's House Ep. 820 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:51 - Opening Clip: I'm Ryan 00:23:11 - Brad Pitt In Fight Club Skinny 00:31:05 - Lena Dunham 00:37:05 - Clip: Bottled Farts 00:39:49 - Joe DeRosa, Dan Pena, & Murder Houses 00:48:28 - The Cosby Problem 00:59:22 - Woody Allen & Roman Polanski 01:13:33 - Drunk News Anchor 01:17:23 - Joe's New Special & Best Buy Fantasy 01:26:27 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:30:47 - Joey Roses Sandwiches 01:40:30 - Closing Song - "2 Catches (Obviously) By Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And that's a wrap! Family, Love Island USA Season 7 has officially come to a close, chosen it's winning couple, and Jess can't stop crying! Your Mom and Dad discuss all their thoughts on episodes 31 through 36, the final couples, the Chris and Huda break up, who they think will last, predictions about The Reunion (so excited), Amaya Papaya forever, and so much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad on Monday (7/21) for Bachelor in Paradise episodes 2&3 recap and Wednesday (7/23) for Bachelor in Paradise episode 4 recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***STAMPS: Go to https://www.Stamps.com and use code MOMDAD to sign up for a special offer. No contract, cancel any time! ***QUINCE: Go to https://www.quince.com/momdad for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns!

SPONSORS: - Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at http://www.monarchmoney.com/ymh - Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://BlueChew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. - Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. - Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. This week on Your Mom's House, Christina and Tommy welcome Dr. Hope Torres, an Austin-based licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma and personality assessment to analyze Tom, Christina, and the entire YMH staff. Before the doctor is in, the Main Mommies update us on what they've been up to, Tommy's on a water fast and Tina looks like a crypto millionaire now. They open the show with a really cool guy yelling at a bartender, before checking out a new video of an old favorite, Dan Pena, who explains why he likes having a painting of Hitler in his office. They also check out a clip of Charlize Theron bragging about banging a dude in his 20's and Christina shares her thoughts on the movie "Sinners" hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm. Dr. Torres then comes in and shares the results of a personality assessment that everyone at Studio Jeans filled out and determines on a scale of normal to traumatized combat vet where Tom, Christina, and the entire staff rank. She walks the YMH crew through their results on the PID-5 personality inventory (DSM‑5). and breaks down the personality domains like anxiety, impulsivity, narcissism, and eccentricity. There's also plenty of insight into how trauma, dissociation, and childhood behaviors can shape adult personality. Whether you're looking for laughs, self-reflection, or a crash course in personality diagnostics, this deeply human episode is a must-listen. Your Mom's House Ep. 819 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:13 - Mom & Dad Updates 00:13:13 - Opening Clip: Angry Dad 00:19:42 - Bert Kersher Interrupts The Show 00:23:05 - Dan Pena 00:32:49 - Charlize Theron's Sex Positive Encounter 00:38:06 - Christina Saw "Sinners" 00:46:26 - The Doctor Is In 00:53:24 - Who's Doing Ok? 01:01:02 - Mid Tier Crazies 01:10:55 - Top 3 Psychos 01:27:31 - The Biggest Studio Psycho 01:38:35 - Mentally Ill Main Mommies 01:53:35 - The Other Normies 01:57:24 - Closing Song - "Therapy Breakthrough" by Pete Sake Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the season premiere of Bachelor in Paradise and Your Mom and Dad are here to break it down! They discuss the massive changes to the show, their initial feelings about this cast, why they think Dale and Kat are soulmates, numerous love triangles, Hakeem and Ricky's fight, games and cash added, karma for Sam, that wild season preview, and much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad Thursday (7/17) for their Love Island Finale recap and the following week (7/21) for two Bachelor in Paradise recaps! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***NUTRAFOL: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at https://www.Nutrafol.com with code MOMDAD ***HUNGRYROOT: For a limited time, get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life at https://www.Hungryroot.com/momdad and use code momdad 

SPONSORS: - Order on DoorDash and save big during Summer of DashPass. Sign up today! DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. This week on Your Mom's House, we've got a real throwback episode as Tom Segura and Christina P are joined by the always hilarious Ryan Sickler! Before sickle cell slides into the Mommy Dome, Tom and CP kick things off with a wild opening clip featuring a vulgar homeless man in a McDonald's, discuss Love Island's dumbest contestant, and CP raises her art price. They also break down zodiac signs, death row meals, Jeff Bezos's wedding, Oprah's lesbian love life, and why chicks might just be a little dumb sometimes. Ryan Sickler joins the fun and the trio covers everything from a defecating police chief and the chocolate booty obsessed guy also named Ryan to horrible or hilarious fails—including a bull attack, a shit flood, and one extremely unfortunate motorcycle. Ryan shares a killer story about a guy named “Joey Uno” and relives his worst high school nickname. CP gets roasted for looking like the Hamburglar, and Sickler drops a disgusting, classic YMH-worthy dump tale. Oh—and there's a deep dive into feeding your meow with fruit, plane meltdowns, Will Smith's weirdness, and roleplay gone very wrong. It's a banger. Enjoy! Your Mom's House Ep. 818 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:09 - Opening Clip: I Get My D Sucked 00:08:51 - Love Island UK Dummies 00:19:16 - Jeff Bezos Wedding + Oprah's Lesbian Relationship 00:25:30 - What's Your Sign? 00:33:04 - Ryan Sickler 00:36:26 - Hostile Work Environment 00:42:31 - Big Ryan Energy 00:52:59 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:02:27 - Sweet & Sour Broads 01:08:41 - Will Smith 01:15:40 - Holding Space For Bad Thoughts 01:21:42 - Closing Song - "2 Catches (Obviously)" by Odd-Track Numbers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, Family, the Villa is going to be in shambles after that Stand on Business Challenge - and Your Mom and Dad are sweating! Today Evan and Jess discuss episodes 21-26 of Love Island USA Season 7…and they chat NicOlandria, the shocking Recoupling after Casa Amor, the Huda/Chelley fallout, Amaya Papaya deserving better, most all the couples on the rocks while one couple closes it off, the absolutely brutal Stand on Business Challenge, and much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad on Tuesday (7/8) for another Love Island recap and Thursday (7/10) for their Bachelor in Paradise Premiere recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSOR: ***ROCKET MONEY: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions today with Rocket Money! Download the Rocket Money App and enter our show name “Your Mom & Dad” in the survey so they know we sent you!

Get tickets for Tom's Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to http://LIQUIDIV.COM and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. Go to https://coorslight.com/YMH to see how Coors Light can amplify your summer. And be sure to keep an eye out on Coors Light's social handles all summer long for more exciting announcements. This week on Your Mom's House, Tom and Christina are back in Los Angeles! CP's rocking a bold Zorro-inspired new look and Tom shows off his scar from a street fight with a surfer, and they both break down the fine line between plastic surgery and mental illness. The Main Mommies check out some truly unhinged videos including Adrien Brody's social media posts, a clip about parasites in places they shouldn't be, and some gay black dudes swapping spit. Plus, Tom shares the story of his loudest gym fart, CP raises the price of her art, and the two debate whether posing nude at art school is the key to escaping homelessness. Tommy F-Stop also makes his debut on the show, Tom's kids are as feral as ever, and CP walks us through the bloodiest promo idea ever based on her recent surgery. Enjoy! Your Mom's House Ep. 817 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:05 - Opening Clip: Ryan Likes Ass 00:08:11 - Christina's New Look & Tom's Surfer Fight 00:20:25 - Adrien Brody 00:24:54 - Goth Basketball Player 00:27:53 - Gay Stuff For Enny 00:32:25 - Clip: Parasites In Your P 00:35:02 - Gym Farts 00:40:24 - Who's More Mentally Ill? 00:45:32 - Movies 00:49:23 - Tommy F-Stop 00:57:20 - Laugh Till Your Face Falls Off 01:02:51 - Closing Song - "4 Stroke Anthem" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WTF is happening?! Family, today Your Mom and Dad are covering episodes 15-20 of Love Island USA - and they are spiraling! They discuss they new Bombshells (TJ and Andreina), America's Favorite Islander vote, the shocking elimination by the cast, CASA AMOR, new rules, a Recoupling that makes no sense, a wild cliffhanger, and much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad Thursday (7/3) for the next Love Island USA recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***CASH APP: For a limited time only - download Cash App, sign up, then use our exclusive code MOMDAD in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days and you'll get $10 dropped right into your account! ***BETTER HELP - This episode is sponsored by Better Help! Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/momdad ***LIQUID IV: Got to https://www.liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first order with code MOMDAD at checkout!  ***ARTICLE: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at https://www.article.com/momdad and the discount will automatically be applied at checkout! 

Get tickets for Tom's Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - Don't wait! Make your outdoor space your dream oasis TODAY with Wayfair, and enjoy it all summer long. Head to http://Wayfair.com right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. This week on Your Mom's House, it's just Tom Segura and Christina P in the Mommy Dome, and things get historically unhinged. Tom has declared it's Hitler Summer and he's waist deep in World War Two documentaries. He also talks about watching a Bin Laden documentary that's especially fascinating. before sharing a thought about how Hitler was a great friend. Christina has also got a new painting on deck and the two mock Adrien Brody's art, and have more fun with AI Keanu Reeves. Tom tells a hilarious story about watching Star Wars with their sons, Christina messes with a spam texter in the middle of the episode, A Tom-Ed Kemper abomination details his homicidal plans, and a horrifying run of “Horrible or Hilarious” clips and Toks featuring 18-wheelers, busted ankles, and piss pups. Plus, CP roasts Meghan Markle (again), Tom hypes the Fancy vs. Phillip showdown, and we close the show with an Enny-themed banger. Wild clips. Even wilder theories. No guest, no problem. Enjoy! Your Mom's House Ep. 816 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:38 - War Documentary Summer 00:06:08 - Hitler Was A Great Friend 00:13:44 - Opening Clip: Chris Hansen Caught Ya 00:19:20 - Adrien Brody's Art & Christina's Latest Work 00:27:23 - Clip: Baldwin Cringe 00:28:21 - Star Wars With The Boys 00:33:34 - Pac Man Jones Calls Tom 00:35:44 - Pitching TV Shows 00:38:21 - Clip: Beefing on CNN 00:39:48 - Fancy Vs Phillip 00:43:39 - Horrible Or Hilarious 00:49:42 - Ed Kemper Tom 00:56:11 - Clip: My Ankle! 00:57:56 - The Black Segment 00:59:49 - TikToks 01:10:50 - Closing Song -"Enny Wears Those Pants" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?! Love Island USA is getting absolutely unhinged and Your Mom and Dad are here to talk about it! Today they discuss episodes 9 through 14 - and WOW there is a lot to discuss. They chat all about Hurricane Huda, undercooked pancakes, America's vote, the wildest crash out Love Island has ever seen, that spicy Leather and Lace party, the new Bombshells shaking up the couples, Ace/Chelley/Austin's continued love triangle, Hannah juggling two men, a shocking Recoupling involving doors, and so much more! ***Join Your Mom and Dad Thursday (6/26) for the next Love Island USA recap! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ***QUINCE: Go to https://www.quince.com/momdad for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns! ***LEESA: Go to https://www.Leesa.com for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code momdad! ***NUTRAFOL: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to https://www.Nutrafol.com and enter code MOMDAD

Get tickets for Tom's Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 27% Off Sitewide. Get started at https://factormeals.com/YMH50OFF and use code YMH50OFF to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/momshouse It's CP's birthday and what better way to celebrate than a gals trip, some productive coughing, and watching a horny cowboy tell us how to treat a lady? Also Tom and Christina are joined by the always-delightful Johnny Pemberton! We kick things off with a mumbling cool guy with unrealistic standards, before moving on to a humble-brag video of a woman prepping her bowels for a dom session. There's also new Pazsitzky Effect, on the table, some more of Enny's hot take on the movie "Sinners", and of course some more gay content we found on the internet. Johnny Pemberton then enters the studio to talk about his latest film "Mermaid", yo hype season 2 of "Fallout", and talk all about his animated voice rolls that's more known for these days. He also reacts to the cool guys from the top of the show, watches some horrible or hilarious clips, shares some war stories from doing prank calls, and gets into a passionate rant about Red Lobster. What can we say? Except I'm gay. Your Mom's House Ep. 815 https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinap.com/https://store.ymhstudios.comhttps://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:12 - Opening Clip: Don't Message Me 00:10:40 - The Horny Cowboy 00:18:27 - Clip: Dom Sesh Prep 00:21:38 - More Gay Stuff 00:28:16 - Sinners 00:37:13 - Johnny Pemberton's Best Work 00:49:33 - What Can I Say Except That I'm Gay 00:53:27 - Johnny Meets Mumbling Kevin 00:58:44 - Horrible Or Hilarious 01:04:51 - Pouch Leggings 01:10:31 - Johnny Reacts To Dom Sesh Prep 01:14:17 - TikToks 01:19:37 - Red Lobster 01:24:30 - Closing Song - "Erection Achieved" by Hendawg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices